sushitheashley03-blog

[sushitheashley03-blog]

Unspoken (Angst)

okay so this is gonna be my first post on tumblr... tbh i'm nervous (;^-^)

i'm very new to this site and i have yet to get my head around it, so please be patient with me~ also, english ain't my first language and i hope y'all understand if i make errors here and there.

hope y'all like this

Jimin x Best Friend! Reader

angst - fluff

prompt: You and Jimin have been best friends since childhood. As the years passed, you've developed feelings for him. You felt hopeless as you knew that he already had and loved another girl, but one day he comes to your apartment, crying, as you dealt with your own problem as well.

years ago...

You were currently in fourth grade, seated in a classroom full of weird children that acted like total weirdos. It's not that you were gifted, or anything, but your mind just matured early; which was one of the reasons why you don't have any friends. Your teacher had instructed the class to go copy some 'alien language' on your notebooks, as you liked to call it, yet you couldn't find it anywhere. The school you attented had notebooks that were uniform, so you believed that someone else accidentally took it. You looked around the room, greeted by the sight of the absolute chaos that your class causes every day. You wanted to ask them out loud, but you figured that not even your teacher would be able to speak over the boisterous environment. You plopped back down on your seat and sighed, thinking of what to do next. That was until your eyes landed on the notebook being held by the little boy beside you. He was writing in it, as you read your name written clearly on the cover. Oh no, what do I do? You asked yourself, clearly panicking because you didn't know how to socialize. These kids were kind of idiots, and you didn't want them to go drool on you as you asked them for your notebook. Might as well just let him keep it. You added in your mind, your uncharacteristic shyness taking over. You didn't notice that you were pretty much staring holes into the boy's hand, until he called for your attention. "U-Um.. Excuse me?" He began, looking at you shyly. "Is everything alright?" The boy asked you as you looked at him. Oh my God, how can a fourth grader be so cute? You thought to yourself, feeling a little more shy than you were moments ago. "Y-Yeah. Um. Actually," You pointed at the notebook he was writing in "I'm pretty sure that's mine, haha.." You smiled at him, and he looked shocked as he read the cover. "Whoops, sorry. I didn't see it." He laughed as he shut the notebook and handed it to you, as you laughed back. The tension in the air easing. "Thanks for finishing half of my notes for me." You joked, and he laughed, his eyes turning to crescents as his lips curled into a smile. God, he's adorable... The boy timidly held his hand out to you. "I'm Jimin." He introduced. You took his hand and shook it, as you both exchanged smiles. "My name's Y/N.. It's nice to meet you, Jimin!" You giggled, proud of yourself. You finally made a friend.

And that's where it all began.

Ever since you two got to know each other, you were literally inseparable. You were always there for each other through hardships, or when you just needed each other in general. You both didn't feel complete whenever the other was gone, and you knew each other so well that you knew how many strands of hair were on your bodies.

In fact, you two were so inseparable that Jimin brought you with him to Seoul when he decided to become an idol. You supported him wholeheartedly, and you were there to take care of him whenever he neglected himself (which you hated so, so much). You were there to let him know that he was perfect, often almost spilling the beans about how you truly felt about him. You loved Jimin more than in a 'best friend' way. You love, loved him. You loved his smile, his personality, his flaws, heck, you loved everything about him.

But what hurt you the most was that you knew he didn't love you back, because he loved someone else.

You hated yourself so, so much for that.

You hated that you couldn't be happy for him and that you cried behind his back because of how much it hurt you. You hated yourself for not making a move sooner, and he didn't even know about it.

Despite the pain, you continue to support him.

Because you loved him, and you wanted him to be happy.

Last year, November...

You came home from work only to see Jimin pacing around in your apartment. This was pretty typical, as you two sometimes just barge into each other's home as if it was your own. But what was different was that Jimin seemed to be dressed very well, and there were two big paper bags set down on the ground. He approached you with a big smile. You gave him a puzzled look "What's with the big grin?" You asked him, lightly chuckling. "You might rip your face apart or something." You added, as he waved you off. "I just.. Wanted to tell you something." The boy smiled shyly. You didn't want to jump to conclusions, but your heart was racing and your brain was going nuts. Was he going to confess or something? "R-Really? What is it, Jimin?" You asked him, hope in your eyes. You didn't want to get too excited, but that was exactly what was hapenning. "I just.." Jimin looked down, as he took your hands in his. Skinship was normal between you two, and that was why you were often mistaken as a couple. "I just wanted to thank you for supporting me, and for everything in general." He looked at you in the eyes, filled with love... But you knew that the love wasn't for you. You knew what he was doing here now. You mentally slapped yourself and wanted to cry again, but you had to stay strong for Jimin. You forced a smile on your face. "Is this about April?" You tried your best to sound enthusiastic, and he buyed it. "Yes. I confessed to her yesterday, and she told me that she felt the same!" He said, giggling. You always found him so cute. "I'm taking her out for a date today." And with that, you felt your heart shatter. A fake smile still plastered upon your face, you hugged Jimin. "I'm so proud of you, Jimin!" You mumbled into his chest, fighting back tears. He hugged you back and spun you around, squealing as if he forgot that he was a man. He put you back down after a few minutes. "Y/N, I couldn't have done it without you..." He trailed off, and you gave him a weird look. "Are you.. Are you crying?" He asked you, his tone suddenly wracked with concern as he wiped your tears away. You didn't notice, but you had been crying. You quickly come up with an excuse; "I'm just.. So proud of you, y'know?" You two stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Something tells you that Jimin didn't believe you, as you never openly expressed how proud you were of him unless he was crying about his insecurities. You immediately remembered this, and smiled at him. "Tell me when you get laid." You joked, attempting to make your acting believeable. He laughed, as he wore a face of disgust "You're such a pervert, Y/N." He ruffled your hair. "Ya, I'm at least a month older than you!" You tried to get out of his grasp, laughing. It wasn't the most sincere of laughs, but you felt it nonetheless. As you two were fooling around, Jimin's phone rang. He pulles it out to be greeted by a familiar ID. 'April'. "Well. That's my cue." He smiled at you "I'll let you know if I get to take her home and... Y'know, mingle a little?" Jimin wiggled his eyebrows as he gathered his things, making a beeline towards the door. You threw a pillow at him. "Gross, I was joking!"

"Plus, how could you mingle properly with the size of your--"

"Oh my God, shut up!" Jimin interrupted as he shut the door.

The apartment suddenly felt empty. You suddenly felt empty. Tears streaked down your face as you tried to process what just happened. "I.." You choked out a sob as you whispered to yourself. "I'm... I-It's too late now.." You stuttered out as you violently landed on the ground, curling up into a ball of despair. "He could never love me.." You cried. You always thought that he was too good for you, and that you didn't deserve him. You believed that he would never love you, and now that it was proven, you couldn't help but feel worthless. You were just a best friend to him, and nothing more. Now that he had someone, you stood no chance against them. Against her. You couldn't bring yourself to hate April either, because she was a nice person, as far as you knew.

Present

From that day on, you and Jimin became.. Somewhat distant. You two would meet and hang less because he was busy doing things with April, his new girlfriend. Apart from Jimin, you hardly had anybody. He was honestly your only best friend in the world, and without him, you felt like you were nothing. So if he was busy, you thought of busying yourself. Every other day, you'd come to the bar to relieve your stress. You didn't want to get fucked. You were just there for the drinks and the bartenders; Hans and Yuki.

It was about seven in the evening when you decided to go to the very familiar bar. You hadn't seen Jimin for a few weeks now, so this had become a passtime for you. Sighing at the cold, you pushed the door open and were greeted by the sight of a place full of people grinding against each other on the dance floor. Ugh.. What are they doing with their lives? You asked yourself as you quite immediately realized that you should be asking yourself that same question. You louzily sat yourself down on the bar stool as the two, familiar-faced, bartenders approached you. Currently, you were the only one seated at the bar. "What's up, Y/N?" Hans greeted with a smile, as he scrubbed a glass with a clean towel. You propped yourself up on the table with your arm, sighing. "I feel like shit." You told him, truthfully. Yuki perked up. "Come to your senses already, kid. The guy doesn't love you, you can find better, y'know?" He told you straightforwardly as he handed you a shotglass of your usual order. You downed it, feeling the unusual sensation back in your stomach. You had gotten used to it as you went back here almost every day, when you knew that Jimin wasn't around. You knew that he wouldn't take it lightly if he found out all the bad things you've been doing to yourself. You've had way too many close calls. Too many. Hans put a hand on your shoulder as you seemingly just unintentionally ignored everything he just said as you were spacing out. You gulped down another shotglass. "I.. I just love him, and I've felt like that for like.." You attempted to count on your fingers how many years you've loved Jimin. You couldn't, because you had very low tolerance for alchohol. You were already halfway drop-dead drunk. You could see doubles of your fingers. "Uh." You paused and put your hands down. "Nevermind." You downed a shot, then cleared your throat. "I love him, and I just couldn't change that, okay?" You slurred as you felt tears blurring your vision, downing another shot. "I love his face, his smile.." You cover your face, sniffing, letting the tears fall. "His talent, the way he speaks, the way he talks to me... E-Everything." You forced down another shot. You were pushing your limits, but you didn't care anymore. Jimin wouldn't find out, anyway. You wouldn't let him because you don't want to burden him with your presence anymore. You were full-on crying right now. "I-I miss him so much.. W-Why can't I be with y-you Jiminie?" You slurred and stuttered as you sobbed. Hans stopped Yuki from pouring more into the shotglass. "I think she's had enough--"

"No, give me more!" You angrily slammed your fist onto the table, and Hans shut up. You took the bottle from Yuki and handed him money to pay for it.

"I'd rather die of alchohol poisoning than live in this horrible world." You said, chugging on the bottle until it was empty. Yuki swore under his breath. "Kid, you have to stop yourself. Look at what you're doing with your life! You could easily just spend your time on doing something productive instead of wasting your time, moping around because you lost 'the love of your life'!" He practically yelled, causing a fire to burn up inside of you. Easily? Easily? Are you fucking serious right now? What Yuki was doing would probably get him fired, but he risked that just for you to get your life together. "Yuki, I'd rather spend the rest of my life, wasting my time on him because you can't just-just.. convince me to forget about someone I've loved for nearly my entire life!" You tried to sound angry, but instead, you sounded sad and miserable. The bartenders were taken aback by your words, and decided to stay quiet.

A few hours after the bartenders have decided to stop serving you, they thought that you should head home. "Y/N... We'll go get someone to pick you up and take you home, okay?" Hans told you in a gentle tone, feeling bad for you. You slammed your head on the counter, delerious. Yuki looked at your limp form and sighed. "I guess we don't have any other choice, do we?" He asked Hans as he took your phone that you had placed on the counter aimlessly. "Who do we ring?" Hans looked over his shoulder. "We don't know any of her friends."

"'Eomma Jin'..? It's her mom." Yuki tapped on the contact. "Oh my God, you know nicknames aren't always accurate to real life, right?" Hans asked Yuki, as the other man just shrugged in response.

It was around eleven in the evening when Jin's phone rang from across the room as he was joined by Jungkook while eating some late night snacks. The maknae turned to get Jin's phone. "Hyung, it's Y/N noona." He turned to Jin. Jin finished his snack and picked up. "Y/N? Why'd you call so late?" He asked in a concerned tone. He was greeted by a few moments of silence from the other line. "Uh." Jin cleared his throat "Y/N?"

"Are you Y/N's mother?" An unfamiliar voice asked Jin.

Jin's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Sorry, what? Who is this?" He questioned further, while Jungkook mouthed 'Who is that?'. Jin shrugged. "Your contact name says 'Eomma Jin'." The stranger said. "Oh." Jin chuckled, finding the situation quite humurous. "No, no, I'm not her mother. I'm a man, thank you very much." He cleared out, "Now, why do you have my friend's phone?"

"I'm sorry to be disturbing you, sir, but Y/N is currently wrecked right now. She's been drinking here since seven, and she showed no signs of stopping. Now she's currently passed out on the counter, and could you pick her up for us?" Hans, who took the phone explained to Jin reluctantly.

"Good heavens.." Jin mumbled, and Jungkook who was beside the phone overheard it all. "That doesn't sound good, hyung." He told Jin. "We'd drive her home ourselves, we really would, but we have a lot of customers tonight." Yuki from beside Hans told Jin truthfully. "Okay.. I'm on my way." Jin sighed as he turned his phone off. Jungkook gave Jin a worried look. "Noona doesn't drink, hyung.. What drove her to do this?" He asked him. "I have theories, but overall, I'm not so sure." He told Jungkook as he put his coat on, throwing another at him. He looked at his hyung, confused. "You don't wanna help your noona?" He asked his dongsaeng. Jungkook didn't answer and hurriedly put his coat on and followed Jin out the door.

Your head hurt, but despite the physical pain, the pain in your heart could put a thousand migranes to shame. You missed Jimin so much, all the things you did together. But you knew you were being selfish, and you hated yourself more and more. Something Jimin should never know. You didn't want to burden him, and you didn't want to pull him away from him happiness. You saw two people approaching you, but you couldn't seem to make out who they were. Before you knew it, those two people lifted you by the arms.

Jin drove the car to your apartment as Jungkook was trying to calm you down. "Ah, seriously, Y/N... What is up with you?" Jin glanced at you in the mirror. Jungkook cringed at the strong smell of liquor you emmited. "Noona, where's Jimin hyung? Isn't he supposed to be the one dealing with you cause.. You're best friends." He softly asked you, but you cried even more. He fell silent. "N-No, p-please don't--" You hiccuped "--tell Jimin about this.. I don't want to burden him with my problems." You told them drunkenly, sobbing as you hiccuped. Jungkook found this weird as he knew that you always told Jimin about your problems. "I don't w-want to burden him with the fact that--that I-I cry because of him.." You confessed unwillingly, not knowing what you were saying. "T-that I cry because.." You sobbed. Jin furrowed his brows "Because..?" He urged you to continue "B-Because I love him, and I've loved him for such a long time.. A-And I know that Jiminie would never be mine.." You cried more, and Jungkook patted your back awkwardly, not knowing how to comfort you.

After a little while, Jin pulled over in front of your apartment building. Sighing, he opened the car door and went to get you and Jungkook out. You were asleep now, and whenever you fell asleep drunk, you wouldn't wake up no matter what. The two boys carried you by the arms again, and walked into the building. Jin's face contorted in sadness. "I feel bad for her, Kookie.. It seems like she's been hiding this for so long." He told Jungkook softly, trying not to wake up the people who lived in the apartment as it was already midnight. "I'm surprised Jimin hyung never found out. He knows Y/N so well... How could something so.." Jungkook tried to find the right word. ".. Heavy get past him?" They got into the elevator. "She must have hid it very well.. I guess she knew Jimin so well that she knows what's believeable in his point of view." Jin answered. "So she probably tried her best to make her pretending look legitimate as possible." He added, Jungkook nodding in an understanding manner. The conversation continued when they got to the floor of your apartment. "I don't think we should speak of this to Jimin hyung yet.." Jungkook began. Jin sent him a quizzical look "Why do you think that?"

"That's basically intervening in their lives." The maknae pointed out.

Jin pondered for a bit as they walked. "Okay.. We won't tell him for now. Maybe we could get a good explanation out of Y/N when she's sober." He told Jungkook as they struggled to open the door, and when they did, they were greeted by a slightly unwanted surprise. It was Jimin, seated on the couch. He looks like he had been crying with his eyes red and puffy, and his hair messed up.

Jimin stood up from the couch in shock, as the two men looked like two deers caught in headlights. Jin swore under his breath, and Jungkook's eyes became saucers. Jimin had been waiting for you because he wanted to tell you about a problem, but when it got late he began to call you multiple times out of worry. You didn't hear them over the loud music of the bar. What he saw now didn't ease his worry. You had tear stains down your face, your eyes had dark circles under them, you look like you haven't eaten in decades, and you looked very pale. It looked like you were dead or something. Jimin ran over to the dumbfounded boys and took you to bed himself, pausing his movements when he smelled.. liquor? "No.." He said out loud, because he knew that you didn't drink. This couldn't be.. She couldn't be drinking, could she? The two boys followed Jimin as he laid you down on your bed. "What happened?" He turned to them, slightly mad. "Hyung, I.. Y/N noona has been drinking." Jungkook told Jimin. He didn't want to believe him. "Jungkook, tell me the truth." He said, anger raising in his tone. "Hyung, that was the truth--" He was interrupted by Jimin grabbing him by the collar. "That isn't the truth!" Jimin yelled as Jin tried to pry him away. "It is, Jimin!" Jin yelled back as he successfully managed to pull the two apart. "She just has a problem that she isn't ready to tell you about." Jin told Jimin, looking at him intensely. Jimin began to tear up. "Hyung..?" Jungkook was concerned. Jin looked at Jimin. "Would you like us to leave, Jimin?" He asked him, as he nodded. Jin smiled at him and said goodbye as Jimin thanked the two and apologized for being angry. When the two left, he turned to your frail figure, fast asleep. Judging by what happened to him today, he already knew why you did this. He wanted to confront you tomorrow, knowing you were both too tired to function. He crawled into bed next to you and hugged you from behind. You did this as friends, too, because he knew you were a restless sleeper. So whenever you had sleepovers, he liked to help you sleep. Slowly, he fell into deep slumber.

Morning

You stirred, with a really bad headache. Shit. Another hangover.. You mentally cursed yourself. It was already morning. Sunlight slightly through your opened white curtains, and the room was in a bright haze. You would've enjoyed it if you weren't in this situation right now. Last night was really bad, and strangely, you remember almost everything vividly, even the part when you had unwillingly told Jin and Jungkook about your true feelings about Jimin. You felt arms around your body, then you suddenly realized. Wait, why's Jimin here? You panicked, not moving at all. Does he know already? Did the two tell him about it? Oh my God does he hate me now-- Your thoughts were interrupted by a sniff and a shaky sigh. Then, you started to hear soft sobs coming out of Jimin's mouth. Not turning around, you spoke, voice hoarse. "Jimin.. Why are you crying?" You asked him, voice a whisper. He gripped you tighter. "A-April left me, Y/N.. She cheated on me." He told you, voice cracking, as you could feel the wetness of his tears. You were sad, but you were more angry. How could she? Jimin's perfect.. He's so sweet and nice.. Why would she hurt him? Why replace him, when he's such an angel? Why do this to him when there are so much people who want to be his, but never get the chance? She was so lucky to have him but she just.. Angry thoughts flooded your mind, but you chose to keep your cool. You turned around to hug him as he grasped onto you like his life depended on it. You stroked his hair. "It's okay, Jiminie.. It just means that you're destined for someone.." You paused, trying to hold back tears. ".. Someone better, y'know? April doesn't deserve you. She cheated on you, and that's messed up, man." You pulled away to wipe his tears. "Get you a girl who could love you truly, cause' you don't derserve this, Jimin. You're literally perfect in my eyes, and I won't let anyone take you for granted." You squished his cheeks, trying to cheer him up. "I'll beat up anyone who hurts my lil' Chim Chim." You gave him a broken smile, since it was the only sincere one you could manage. Jimin held onto your hands. "Y-Y/N.. You have no idea h-how much that means to me.." He smiled sadly at you. "B-But that's not why I'm crying."

"What?" You asked him, confused.

"I'm crying because.." He paused. "Because of you."

"Me?" Shocked, you looked at him. "When April broke up with me.. I didn't feel sad at all, Y/N.. When I put two and two together, I realized that.." Jimin took your hand in his. "I wasn't happy because of her." He cupped your face with the other hand. "I was happy.. because of you." He corrected himself. You casted him an even more confused look. "All that time you supported me.. That glint in your eyes whenever I saw you.. Your beautiful face.. Your kindness.. It made me so happy." He smiled at you. "It made me adore you.."

"It made me.. Love you." He had a loving look in his eyes.. A look that was so new, yet so familiar coming from him.

"As.. A best friend?" You asked, wanting to make sure if you understood him correctly. He chuckled "No, silly... I love, love you." He told you. You felt so happy, but you were still confused. "But why were you crying?" You asked him, never breaking your gaze. "Because I realized that.. You had feelings for me, and that.." He looked away from you. "I've been hurting you all this time, without even noticing." You held his hand that was on your face. "Jimin, look at me."

Hesitantly, he looks at you.

"I don't care that you hurt me before." You told him truthfully. "I don't care that you made me cry, or that you made me drink out of sadness." You added, urging him to not break his gaze. "All that matters is that.. I love you." You smiled at him, crying tears of joy.

Jimin smiled once again. "I love you too."

Before you even realized anything, you felt a pair of lips on yours. Eventually, you kissed him back passionately, tangling your hand in his hair as he wrapped his arms around your back, savouring this long-awaited moment.

It was worth the wait, was it?

yep. that might have been really bad tbh..