susiekern

[susiekern]

I'm officially ranting about myself here to guilt trip my brain into actually working

I hate writers block bc wdym I can't get myself to finish writing ANYTHING while my WIP looks like that 🫠🫠🫠

[susiekern]

I hate writers block bc wdym I can't get myself to finish writing ANYTHING while my WIP looks like that 🫠🫠🫠

[susiekern]

on ice - Sukuna x fem!reader

a/n: Guess who's back with something other than The Fallen... me, hi. Since I've been in a bad slumber lately I finally edited the Sukuna piece I wrote in november probably mixing my hyperfixation on jjk and hockey

general: modern au

warnings: swearing, suggestive language, Sukuna probably ooc but idc, Naoya probably deserves his own warning

word count: 4.191

There’s soft music playing in the bathroom as you go through your morning routine. Wash your face, put on skincare, have a few sips of coffee, apply makeup, and then curl your hair. It’s peaceful and relaxing almost.

Barely 6:30 am on the clock, and you’re almost ready to head out. After curling the last strand with the straightener, you take another sip from the pretty ceramic mug that’s been waiting patiently on the counter and clean up the little mess you’ve created getting ready. With all of the cosmetics and hair tools in place, you grab the mug and small Bluetooth speaker, taking them with you to the bedroom for your final and hardest task of this morning. Getting the 6���2 tall hockey player out of bed. Every time, you find it amusing how the sounds of you making the coffee or even the music you always put on don’t wake him up. It’s like he’s hibernating and won’t wake up on his own until the spring comes. Actually, when you think about it, the 210-pound clump of muscles, under the giant duvet, kind of reminds you of a bear in its cave.

“Kuna, get up; we need to leave soon.”

You place your mug on the nightstand and sit on the edge of the bed, leaning over his sleeping body. Your voice is not much louder than a whisper, but after doing it so many times, you know it’s enough to wake him up. He’s able to sleep through 5 alarms, but as soon as you whisper “Kuna”, he’s out of sleep slumber in seconds, like he has some kind of y/n radar. A bit funny, but mostly adorable. A soft smile pulls on your lips when his brows slightly furrow, and he wraps one strong arm around your figure. With one pull, you’re lying flat on the mattress, half of your body under his weight, his head nuzzling in the crook of your arm and neck. There’s a grunt coming from his throat as he breathes in your perfume, and the arm that’s around your waist brings you even closer, if that’s possible.

“Kuna, seriously, we’ll be late.” You try again, even though your fingers instinctively tangle in his pink strands that softly tingle your cheek.

“Let’s stay in today. It’s not like we have anything important to do.” Sukuna murmurs in your neck, and you can’t help but laugh at his words.

“Oh, right, Mister Team Captain. How stupid of me to think your training, game, and my presentation are important enough for us to leave the bed.”

“Exactly.” He nods and sighs after a few seconds. Giving your neck a small kiss, he pulls himself up to sit and stretch his arms. “I fucking hate it when you’re right.”

“So, always?” Teasing a little, you admire the view. All of the hours he spends at the gym and on ice pay off because just the sight of his upper body muscles stretching makes you almost drool on the bedsheet. Every time you see him shirtless, there’s a strong urge in your brain to bite into his pecs and/or abs. And you did it before, many times. “On second thought, maybe I should drop out, you leave the team to Yuji, and we stay here forever?”

“As much as I like how that sounds, I have to decline the offer.” It’s Sukuna’s turn to laugh. He leans in to give you a quick kiss and gets up. Giving you one last smirk before he locks himself in the bathroom. “Besides, you’ve already got yourself all dolled up; we can’t let that go to waste. Right, doll?”

With a deep sigh, you move up too, following another step in your routine. Teasing by Sukuna? Check. His breakfast protein shake and coffee? Work in progress. You’re standing in front of the coffee machine, preparing his usual double espresso with one teaspoon of sugar, when he walks in and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Your shake is on the island, and coffee is almost ready.” One of your hands rests on his forearm as you lean back into his chest. Not sure how, but Sukuna is like a walking heater; his body temperature is always a bit higher than it probably should be. That makes him a perfect sleeping partner for cold winter nights, or for someone who’s always freezing, every night.

“God, I don’t tell you how amazing you are nearly often enough.” The man sighs and, using one of his giant hands, turns your head by the chin to kiss you. You smile but pull away as soon as he bites your bottom lip. It’s either stand back now or be late for everything, because if his tongue makes it in, there’s no way he’s letting you go with just kissing.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m perfect, I know. Now drink and get ready, because Yaga will kill you if you’re late again.” With one last peck, you leave him alone to get fully dressed in the bedroom and finish your own coffee.

“You’re staying at mine after the game?”

15 minutes later you’re both in Sukuna’s jeep as he drives towards the campus, and you go through the notes for the presentation one more time. His warm hand is on your thigh, thumb caressing in circles.

“You just assume I’ll be at the game, huh?” He squeezes your leg lightly as a warning not to play with him. At least not that early in the morning.

“I can’t play without my lucky charm, can I? We can go to yours, but I doubt that Shoko would appreciate it.”

“You always say that.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I have better things to do in the morning than listening to ‘my sleep schedule is fucked and you fuck it up even more with your mating sounds of a feral rabbit’ lecture again. You, for example.” You roll your eyes but nod and flip the page in the notebook. The rest of the drive is silent; you focus on your notes, and Sukuna decides not to interrupt but keeps his hand on you for the whole time. When he stops in front of your faculty building, you grab your bag and turn to him. “So, I’ll see you at the rink…?”

You’re not sure if that’s a question or a statement, and honestly, Sukuna’s not sure either.

“Yeah, boys would kill me if their captain sucks, because his ‘charm’ is not there.”

“Are you really still doing that weird thing with Sukuna?” A few hours and a presentation later, you’re sitting in the cafeteria with your friend Yuki, sipping another coffee.

“What weird thing?” You ask, not sure what she means.

“Relationship without an actual relationship, duh.”

Okay, here’s a thing. Or to be fair, there isn’t. Because you and Sukuna aren’t together, at least not officially. You are together most times, sure, but you haven’t put a label on it so far, and there’s no forecast of it changing anytime soon.

You met him over a year ago, when your good friend and his cousin, Choso, introduced you at the party, and you kind of clicked from the first moment. You were intrigued by his ‘I don’t care about anything’ image, and obviously, he’s attractive as fuck. And you caught his interest when his attempts at flirting with you were laughed at. After that night he got your number from Choso, asked you out for a coffee, then for a drink, his game, a movie, and suddenly one day you’re being introduced as his friend. And it was PG-friendly for the first few months. Sure, there was teasing and flirting for fun, but you never went further than cuddling while watching a movie. You both appreciated what you had and didn’t want to fuck it up by… fucking. It’d mean crossing the invisible line that was drawn at the beginning of your friendship.

Until you did cross it. The hockey team had an important game that even Sukuna was nervous about, and you were probably the only person who knew how not to make it worse. Even scolding your mutual friends for violating his space when he just needed some silence and peace, not 100 texts from everyone. And then you showed up at the arena wearing his jersey and a smile that somehow calmed his nerves as soon as he saw it. That’s why when, after the victorious game, you offered to drive Sukuna home so he could get ready for the after-party, and you were still in his jersey, with his name on the back, sprawled in his bed, waiting ‘till he got out of the shower? He was all over you in no time. There was no awkwardness, no regrets after, and no weird moments you’d experience during the first time with someone new. It felt natural, like you’ve done it a million times before. It felt right. Safe to say, you didn’t make it to the party, too absorbed with each other.

And ever since, you’ve been in this… weird state. You’re not together, but neither of you has even looked at someone else since your first night; you spend most nights at his or your place, and you know each other's schedules and routines. Hell, you even have your own for shared evenings and mornings now. At this point, almost half of your closet is in his apartment, and after the first month of going back and forth, Sukuna secretly took photos of your cosmetics to get you a set for his place so you wouldn’t leave him early in the morning.

All of your friends just assumed one day you’d randomly make it official, seeing how deep you fell for one another. Honestly, at first, you thought so too. That maybe after a few weeks, one of you would start that ‘what are we’ conversation.

But you know Sukuna’s not a relationship type of guy, and you don’t want to risk losing what you have for a dumb label. Even if it hurts like hell every time you tell people you’re ‘just friends.’

“We’re just having fun, Yuki.” Your answer is not the one she was hoping for, but it’s the one she expected.

“You’ll hurt yourself, babe. And I’ll be the first to tell you ‘told ya.’ Then we’ll buy cheap wine and drink from the bottle, watching some shitty rom-coms.” She sighs when you smile at her and turn your attention to your phone when it pings on the table. She doesn’t need to check to know you’re texting Sukuna, because who else would you reply immediately to? “Dumb, dumb girl.”

It’s almost time for the game, and the arena is buzzing, full of excited people. Your team is playing against their main competition for the playoffs, and every time they meet on the ice, it’s intense and brutal. And people can’t wait to see it tonight. You’re standing with Choso, Yuki, and Nobara, Sukuna’s brother’s friend, in the no-civilians zone, one of the perks of being close to the captain. Your conversation is cut short when the enemy team makes their way in. Funny enough, you know at least half of them from high school, since you’ve only moved here when you’ve started college.

“Well, well, isn’t that y/n y/l?” Hearing a familiar voice, you turn around and smile lightly. “Shit, it’s actually you.”

“Hi, Naoya. It’s been a while.” The blonde man smiles back and pulls you into a hug. You and Naoya were friends when you were still in middle and high school, meeting young when your families were doing some business together. For some time you even dated, but that ended up pretty quick when you decided to leave the town. Many said that Naoya was shady; you’ve heard about him a few times in the last two years, about how he changed, more and more similar to his father, the biggest asshole you’ve ever met.

“Year or two, yeah. How are you?” He asks when you separate after a moment and looks you up and down. “Looking good as always.”

“Stop, gosh. You don’t look bad yourself. Keeping the hair longer now?” You ruffle the stands a little, and he scoffs, pushing your hand away.

“Quit it, woman. It’s already messy without your help.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good, thanks. Studying business, so a little busy, but…”

“Too busy to grab a coffee with an old friend tomorrow?” He interrupts. “I really missed having you around, and I’d love to catch up. So what do you say, y/n?”

You don’t even get to answer, ‘cause a second after his question, there’s a tattooed arm over your shoulder, and you feel the warmth you know so well.

“She’s busy. So quit it, Zenin.” You look up at Sukuna and almost shiver. His face is like a stone, jaw tense, and if looks could kill, Naoya would be reduced to ash already.

“And since when are you a guard dog?” The blonde man snorts but looks between you with the tiniest specks of confusion and much more annoyance. Just now he notices that you’re wearing a jersey with a proud C on your chest, and it doesn’t take a genius to guess it says “Sukuna” on your back. “Well, I’ll be damned.”

“Naoya, let’s go!” One of his teammates yells at him, but his gaze is still stuck on you.

“Think about it, princess. For old time’s sake. You have my number.” With that, he winks and turns to join his team.

“What the hell, Kuna?” You move from under the tattooed arm and cross your own on your chest. “What was that?”

“What was what?” The man in front of you furrows his brows and checks the time on his phone. “We’ll talk about it later if you want, but I have to go get ready.” He says, but stays right there, looking at you expectantly. You scoff and lift your chin up a little.

“Need something?”

He does, and you both know it. Before each game, he finds you to collect his good luck kiss(es), since the one time you did that jokingly, he scored 5 points on his own that evening. Now it’s a must-have, and if they have a game away, he’ll collect it right before he has to leave.

“Doll, don’t be a brat. Told you we’ll talk about it at home.” He sighs, and you roll your eyes, trying to hide the fact your heart went mad. Home. Not my or your place, home. What the hell?

“Fine, grumpy. Only because I want you all to win; I hate to see Yuji sad.” You take a step closer, and Sukuna leans down a little so you can reach his face and cradle it in your hands. One kiss on the forehead (that Sukuna cringes about), one on the lips. However, it’s never just one. You hold back a moan that tries to slip out when he pulls you closer by the waist and deepens the kiss, his tongue making its way into your mouth.

“Suku—oh, shit, sorry.”

You pull away, hearing Yuji’s embarrassed voice from behind you. Sukuna’s younger brother stands in the locker room’s doorway, holding the door with one hand, the second scratching his neck nervously, not used to seeing his brother in situations like this.

“I’m coming, Yuji, chill out.” The older one says his way and looks back at you. “Wait for me after the game, doll.”

“Yeah, okay.” You simply nod and watch his back as he disappears with his brother. Only then does a deep sigh leave your lips before you go to find your friends on the bleachers, guessing they left during your conversation with Naoya. What a mess.

You can barely sit still throughout the game. Being at almost every one, since meeting Sukuna, you got used to seeing aggression on ice. But this? This is a new level.

Both teams went through almost every player they had, penalties were thrown left and right, and at one point you were sure that the guy named Todo missed his destiny and should try MMA instead of hockey, ‘cause what the fuck.

Somehow your team managed to score three points in all of that chaos, two on the power play and the third with pure luck, but it counts. Which made their opponents even more bloodthirsty with only one period to go and 3:1 on the table. That’s also why Geto gets the meanest elbow to his sternum, Toji, your goon gets thrown into a wall by Todo (you worry for a second that the wall would break with how hard that was), Yuji gets tripped and run into and ends up with an actual deep cut from this asshole’s skate on his leg.

There are 7 minutes left on the clock when Sukuna goes against Naoya in a face-off. So far he was calm, surprisingly, seeing as his brother had to be taken to the medical room, and there were barely any emotions on his face. Until Naoya starts talking. He says maybe two sentences before Sukuna drops his stick and pins him to the ground with actual murder intentions in every single one of his punches.

You’re on your feet, as close to the wall as you can, and you swear your heart stops when Naoya manages to land a few punches too. It takes four players to pull Sukuna away from him, and before he skates straight to the penalty box, knowing very well he’ll probably stay there until the end of the game, he spits a mix of saliva and blood, landing it mere centimeters from Zenin’s face.

“What the fuck did he say?” Choso wonders, as you all watch how Naoya’s teammates almost scrape him from the ice.

“I’ll take a wild guess and bet it involved y/n.” You hate how you have to agree with Yuki. But what could he say to flip the murder switch in Sukuna?

The team won, but no one is really in a celebratory mood. Yuki and Choso wait with you outside of the arena, but as soon as they see Sukuna, they leave, not wanting to piss him off anymore. You take a look at him and sigh, taking in damp hair, a busted brow, and bruised knuckles that took damage even through the gloves.

The silence seems ironically loud as you drive the car to his apartment, but neither decides to break it before you get there. Only when you get inside does Sukuna drop his duffel bag onto the floor and lean his hips on the kitchen island, that you decide to speak, not sure where to start.

“Why?”

“You have to be more specific, doll. Why what?” He sighs and crosses his arms on his chest, fingers tapping on one bicep, a nervous habit of his and the only sign he was actually stressed about this conversation.

“Cut the bullshit, Ryomen.” Well, that got a reaction. You’ve never before called him by his actual name; hell, you weren’t sure if anyone ever used it before. Even his brother and cousin called him just Sukuna. Not letting his stare intimidate you, you keep talking. “You know exactly what I’m asking about. But do you want to hear it? Sure. Why did you try to scare Naoya off before the game, and why did you beat him later?”

“I wasn’t trying to scare him off.” He starts, and you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“Please, I’ve known you long enough to know your ‘look at how big and dangerous I am’ stance.”

“Will you fucking let me talk?” There’s annoyance in Sukuna’s raised voice after you interrupt him. “You want to be right so badly? Fine. I was fucking jealous. And yeah, I acted like a damn guard dog.” He admits and pinches the bridge of his nose with two fingers. For a few seconds, he stays silent, and you furrow your brows.

“But why, for the love of god? And is talking to me a good enough reason to almost kill a guy?!”

“This guy is one of the shittiest people I’ve ever met, and your history with him doesn’t fucking change that!” He’s standing straight now, every muscle in his body tense, and he looks like he’s about to punch something to release some of it. “Still, no, that’s not a good enough reason. But this fucker is talking shit about my girl, how he’s going to ‘ruin your pretty body again’ and how he misses how easily you bruise ‘cause he can mark you, is.”

“W-what?” Sukuna is taking deep breaths to calm himself down while you try to process what he just said. ‘My girl,’ ‘ruin your pretty body again’…

“That’s fucking why, y/n. I don’t care that you’ve slept with this fucker in the past. But if he ever tries to touch you when you’re mine, I’ll rip his damn arms off. And I won’t fucking regret it for even a second.”

“Mine?” You ask quietly, looking into his crimson eyes like they alone could give you answers to so many questions you have right now. At the same time, you can’t put the words together to even ask one.

“Yeah. Mine.” Sukuna nods and takes a step closer.

“Since fucking when? And don’t tell me you’ve just decided, ‘cause if that’s just your stupid testosterone ass talking, I might actually punch you.” You groan and rub your temples, feeling overwhelmed.

First, your ex-(boy)friend turns out to be an ass; now your current (boy)friend has an enlightenment moment about your relationship? What’s next? Yuki goes to the church? Choso wears colors?

“Of course not, who do you think I am, doll?” He looks actually offended, and a part of you wants to laugh. “You’ve been mine since the first time you’ve put on my jersey. I thought that was obvious?”

And you’re laughing.

“What the actual fuck, Kuna? That was like eight months ago. You’ve never thought that I don’t know, we should maybe fucking talk about it? Like adults do?”

“You clearly have a mouth that I know can do a lot more than talking. Why didn’t you say anything either?” You brush away the hair that fell onto your face during the laughing fit and sigh.

“Because you’re the Ryomen Sukuna. You’ve been here only a year longer than me, and you’ve already had a reputation when we met. The first thing I learned about you, other than your name, was that you don’t do relationships.” Either you’re losing your mind or Sukuna is nervous. No, he’s definitely nervous, biting his cheek from the inside.

“I’ve been ‘doing a relationship’ with you for almost a year now, y/n. Yeah, okay, we should’ve talked about it, but I thought I was pretty clear with… my actions, for example? Damn it, woman. We cuddle! I can count on one hand how many people I’ve cuddled with.” You bite your lip to stop the laugh that’s trying to escape because Sukuna, THE Sukuna, always so calm and stoic, is gesticulating. “What’s so fucking funny?”

“It’s just… I haven’t seen you this emotional about anything ever, I think.” Hearing that, he’s back to crossing his arms and furrowing brows at you.

“Sure, laugh at your man being emotional. That’s called a stereotype, and it’s hurtful, doll.” He has a point, obviously, but there’s a soft smile on his lips, and you can only focus on one thing he said.

“My man?” You take a step towards him and lean your head back a little to maintain eye contact.

“Um, yeah? That comes in a pack, doesn’t it? If you’re mine, then I’m yours, y/n. I’m not into polygamy.” Sukuna sighs for the nth time tonight and moves his hands to your hips finally. He can almost feel how just touching you soothes his nerves.

“Say that again.” You whisper, resting your palms on his chest, the warmth of his skin spreading throughout your body, even if you only feel it through the t-shirt material.

“I’m yours, weirdo. I’ve been for a long time now.” As amused as Sukuna is about your reaction, he finds that wide smile on your face adorable.

“Damn, you’re actually serious. And all it took was an idiot talking shit about me? Wild.” You can’t help but laugh and shake your head a little at how stupid this situation is.

“I’m kind of opening my heart to you, and you bring up this fucker again? Seriously?”

“Sorry.” You take a deep breath in and caress his cheek with your thumb, careful about the bruise that’s forming around his brow and cheekbone. “So I can actually tell people that you’re my boyfriend now?”

“You haven’t before? Wait, what have you been telling people?”

“Um… that were really good friends? You?”

“Everyone knows you’re my girl, doll. I didn’t even have to say it. But I did, just to be clear, you know.”

“So half of this campus knew we were together before me? So romantic.”

[susiekern]

17. the one with the tour

warnings: swearing

word count: 945

masterlist

It was the days like this one, or should I say evenings, that you appreciated the most. When the world seems to slow down, giving you the space and air to breathe. To cherish the things you love the most.

On evenings like this, you’d get cozy in the living room with Nobara, both under a blanket, with warm tea and snacks on the coffee table and a dumb rom-com on the TV. Or maybe you’d spend it in Yuji and Megumi’s apartment, where the destined chef for the night would cook something for the group, as the rest sit patiently at the kitchen island with drinks and chat about things so irrelevant that normally it’d skip your minds. Some days, you and Megumi would escape from everyone and hide in either one of your rooms, playing games, cuddling, or just lying down with quiet music playing in the background. Sometimes he’d play the guitar and sing for you, watching as you relaxed on the bed with a book or just looked at him with pure adoration in your eyes.

It’s one of those evenings when you grab a blanket, something to drink, and climb up to the rooftop to stargaze. The weather is perfect, the cloudless night granting you a perfect view of constellations. You lay on the fluffy blanket, wrapped in Megumi’s hoodie, his warm body next to you, your fingers intertwined. Both of you have one earbud in, changing who’s choosing another song.

Your eyes are mostly stuck on the dark sky above you, tracing the constellations your grandfather taught you about all those years ago when you went camping.

“There’s the Andromeda. Oh, and big and small dogs, they’re chasing the hare that’s right there. They were named for Orion’s hounds.” You tell Megumi, pointing to the shapes with your finger. As you turn your head his way, you notice how his gaze is stuck on your side profile. “Sorry, I bet it’s boring.”

“Not at all. I just didn’t know you knew so much about the stars.” He squeezes your hand and gives you a smile.

“When I was little, my grandfather would take me, Yuji, and Ryo camping in the summer every year. We’d lit a campfire and stargazed for hours. He was passionate about Greek mythology and would tell us about the myths that the constellations were named after.” Your eyes are back on the sky. “It was my favorite day of the year.”

“I can’t imagine Yuji camping. He’d be gone day after day without the wifi.” Megumi jokes, putting his free arm behind his head.

“Yeah, he was the worst one. Ryo would prank him with insects every time.” Laughing, you nod and turn sideways to look at him.

With all the hustle coming with planning a tour, a setlist, and recording a few new songs, Megumi was so busy lately that you started to appreciate moments like this even more. You’d still see each other almost daily, but usually, he’d fall asleep on you or just listen to you talk about your day. So in moments like this one, when you could spend a few hours without anyone else, either Yuji, Nobara, or his band, you loved watching his relaxed face, admiring how calm he gets around you. It also calmed you in a way and pushed the thoughts about the tour to the back of your mind. Why would you worry about it now when he’s right next to you, his thumb is caressing your hand, and he hums the song that’s currently playing in your ears? It could wait another day or two.

“Do you have the favorite one?” He suddenly asks, ripping you out of your thoughts. You nod and look back up, searching for a moment.

“Ursa Minor, a little bear.” You point it out. “It was called after a nymph that nursed Zeus in the form of a bear when he was an infant.”

Megumi focuses on the stars for a moment, trying to memorize the shape.

“I’ll look for it.” He whispers, bringing your attention back to him. Your brows are furrowed when you turn his way, catching his gaze. “When we’re apart. It’ll remind me of you every night.”

You swear your heart stops for a second before it clenches almost painfully. Right, you can try to ignore it, but soon, he’ll be gone for probably three months, traveling the world. You won’t be able to just cross the hallway for a cuddle; you won’t feel his warmth and won’t steal a kiss when out with friends for three months. You’ll only hear his voice when you manage to fit in a call; you’ll only see his smile on the video call. Three months. Seems like an eternity after seeing each other almost daily for so long.

“Will it be toxic if I just chain you down in my room and won’t let you leave?” Your joke comes out weak, given how your voice is shaking and there are tears in your eyes, threatening to fall at any second now. You rest your head on Megumi’s chest, and his arms wrap around you instantly, pulling you closer.

“I wouldn’t be mad, honestly.” He says quietly and gives you a kiss on the forehead, his hands caressing your back. You stay like this until the cold has you escape the rooftop, but even then, you end up in Megumi’s room, bodies as close as possible, like you’re both trying to memorize how it feels. How it feels to have each other close, how it feels to be together, stealing the feeling and saving it in your minds for later.

tag list (lmk if you wanna be added!): @nytylie @fresa-luna @syrooo @zaranobiyuyu @jvpit3rr @pandabiene5115 @good-mourning0 @pearlydays @irwinchester @pxppetmxster @ivydoesit23 @zayuriluvs @applepi25 @s777athv @estella-novella @wgafa @pookalicious-hq @lovely-maryj @briezy04764 @evergumi

[susiekern]

it's incredible how after so long I try to post another chapter of the fallen and Tumblr decides that "nope, not now" and gives me an error every time I click the damn post button 🫠

[susiekern]

hiii, is the fallen finished? or are any updates coming? i loved reading it 😭

Hiii! So quick update on the Fallen

It's not finished yet, I still have a few chapters planned (not a lot of them tho), but with how crazy life has been for the past few weeks my head was completely not in the space to write anything besides angst maybe

I will update in a few days, promise, but since I've got this question a few times already I've wanted to let y'all know!

tag list: @nytylie @fresa-luna @syrooo @zaranobiyuyu @jvpit3rr @pandabiene5115 @good-mourning0 @pearlydays @irwinchester @pxppetmxster @ivydoesit23 @zayuriluvs @applepi25 @s777athv @estella-novella @wgafa @pookalicious-hq @lovely-maryj @briezy04764 @evergumi

[susiekern]

maybe in another universe - Satoru Gojo x reader

a/n: just a little something I wrote tonight, it's not even good, but whatever, also the first thing I post since starting the fallen, wild

word count: 840

warnings: none I think?

Another sleepless night kept y/n stuck in her thoughts. Her eyes were stuck on the toned chest of the man who slept peacefully next to her in a queen-size bed. His steady breaths were soothing her nerves, seeing him in such a rare state of vulnerability and calmness. She looked up at his face and smiled a little, reaching his forehead to brush back a few strands of white hair that got messy throughout the night. Her hand stayed there for a moment, gently caressing his cheek and jaw, her heart clenching almost painfully.

Satoru Gojo and y/n y/l weren’t meant to work. Not here, not now, not in this universe.

Maybe somewhere, in another life, they were just Toru and y/n, living a mundane life together, working 9-5 to come back home, eat dinner together, talk about their days, and go to sleep for a deserved rest. Maybe they go out for a date once a week or two; maybe they visit their friends every month for a joined game and wine night; maybe they plan their future in the middle of the night, wrapped in each other’s arms. Maybe they’ll buy a bigger house, get married, have a child, and grow old together. Maybe they’ll rest in the grave next to one another, having lived a fulfilling and pleasant life.

Or maybe in a different universe, they fight against the world, against the people who tried to keep them down. Maybe they stand proudly by each other’s side, not letting anyone disrupt their happy ending. Maybe they’re on the run, hiding all over the planet, but they’re happy ‘cause they’re together.

Maybe in a different timeline, they’ve never even met. They passed each other once or twice, on the streets or in the metro, not even aware of it. Of missing the opportunity. Of how the random person was their soulmate. Both of them settled with a different partner, never fully satisfied, but it was good enough, right? Because they never got a chance to experience the love, the excitement, and the pain of falling for someone so hard and so fast as this universe Satoru and y/n did.

Still kids, barely 16 at the time they met, they already had to deal with impossible expectations that the world threw at them every day. He was The Satoru Gojo, a boy who was the jujutsu hope and future, called the strongest even back then. She was a special-grade sorcerer, tested and trained ruthlessly since she was a child due to her unusual cursed technique. When they met in jujutsu tech, both quickly understood their situations were painfully similar. That’s what got them so close, so fast. Only one another could understand what they had to go through daily.

Time passed by, and as they grew up, it only got tougher. Satoru was now officially the head of his clan, the strongest sorcerer. Y/n was known as the most reckless one, taking on missions that no one else wanted to deal with. Some of their friends joked that if a devil can’t reach something, he’ll send y/n y/l there. And the higher-ups used that as often as they could, sending her on the roughest missions.

Each time she dealt with a special-grade curse, she thought about how many would be petrified to even stand in front of it when she did the most dangerous things she could to get it exorcised. If she died, she wouldn’t have any regrets, and that’s what kept her going. Because ever since she was a child, she lived a day at once, not thinking about even the closest future. It was a privilege she wasn’t granted. Not with her technique that could kill her at any time. It was a dangerous game, but y/n played it every time.

She’d only allow herself to think… no, dream about what could happen when it came to Satoru. She dreamt about their life together as he kept her in his arms after a hard mission, after they hadn’t seen each other in a few days due to work, or when life got too heavy to bear on their own. In the middle of the night, when darkness veiled her thoughts from the rest of the world, she imagined a small house in the suburbs, walls filled with photos of a happy family, maybe a dog running in the backyard, chased by the little kid, a perfect mix of its parents.

But it all vanished as soon as y/n’s phone buzzed on the nightstand, a distress call summoning her on another mission. She sighed and slowly got out of Satoru’s arms, getting dressed in the uniform that he hurried to take off her just a few hours ago. With a last glance at his sleeping body under the white duvet and a gentle kiss on his forehead, she quietly left his bedroom and apartment to put her life in danger once more. Wishing she could stay in his embrace for a little longer.

Maybe in another universe…

[susiekern]

16. the one with the boys

a/n: after two important chapters, I present to you: this fucking thing

warnings: swearing

word count: 1.096

masterlist

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“Are they mad about it?”

“Nah, Toge almost cried about me getting a girl faster than him, but Yuta and Cho are actually pretty chill about it. They know it’s serious and all.”

“Shit, it’s so weird when you say it’s serious.”

Megumi’s eyes move towards you, giving you the meanest side eye in history. You’re on your way to one of the bars, so you can meet the rest of the Fallen, or more like just Megumi’s friends. It’s been a few days since you officially started dating, the right way this time, and it was his idea, believe it or not. The three of them are the closest people in his life, besides you and Yuji, and he wanted you all to meet and get along. You know Yuta, obviously, but you’ve only heard stories about Toge and Choso.

“I’m kind of nervous. What if they don’t like me?” Saying that, you furrow your brows. Megumi sighs and squeezes your hand tighter in his own.

“I couldn’t care less. Besides, Yuta already likes you, Choso is as chill as it gets, and Toge’s been following you on Twitch for the past few months. But don’t tell him you know that; he wanted to act all cool around you or something.” He says with a smirk. “And I’m not with you to show you off, they could hate you, and I wouldn’t give a fuck.”

Your smile is back on as you get on your toes to peck his lips. Before you pull back, one of his hands is on your neck, keeping you close and deepening the kiss.

“We’ll be late, Megs.” You laugh quietly, but that doesn’t keep the black-haired man away from you.

“They’re constantly late for rehearsals, I don’t care.” He murmurs, relishing your taste for a few more seconds. When he finally lets you go, your cheeks are blushed, and you have that glint in your eyes he loves so much. “If you hate them, you can just talk to Yuji or tell me, we’ll go home and watch that weird show of yours.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

He opens the door for you, following close by as you enter the bar. It’s the middle of the week, so it’s relatively empty, which makes it much easier to find a booth occupied by the boys. The sight of Yuji’s pink strands soothes your nerves a little. He’s talking with Yuta and a black-haired man with a dark streak running through his nose bridge who must be Choso. There’s also Toge, you assumed, his white hair making him stand out from the group. He’s also the only one who’s not dressed in dark colors, with the pink t-shirt (that’s weirdly almost the same color as Yuji’s hair) and light jeans on. His focus is on his phone, tapping fast on it, until he notices you two coming their way.

“Gumi! Finally, I can’t deal with another minute of their boring shit.” Toge puts his phone down on the table and gets up to greet Megumi with a typical manly handshake and back pats. His brown eyes then land on you, and he smiles. “And you must be y/n?”

“Be nice, Toge. She doesn’t know how weird you are yet.” A much taller figure appears behind him, the man you recognized as Choso, based on Megumi’s stories.

“You don’t need to spoil it for her then, gosh. Give a man a chance.” Toge sighs and moves a little, so Megumi and Choso can greet each other. “The tall emo is Choso, I’m Toge, as you probably know already.”

“Nice to meet you both. Y/n y/l.” You offer them a smile and a polite head nod. Before you can say another word, there are warm arms wrapping around you, as Yuji almost jumps your way.

“Finally, a crossover episode.” He grins, squeezing your body and pulling you to the leather couch, where you quickly greet Yuta. Thankfully, without any awkwardness. You haven’t seen each other since your little date, only exchanged polite texts where you thanked him for the evening, not expecting that the next time you’ll meet will be like that. With you, meeting your boyfriend’s friends. The universe has a weird sense of humor, you have to admit.

“I’ll do that, and you all will see. It’s a new way.” The evening is going great; it turns out they’re all as welcoming as you could ever ask for, and it’s not long before the conversations are flowing naturally.

They share a few funny stories about Megumi, asking you how you’ve met Yuji in exchange; Toge admitted to following you, to which Choso reminded him about the time he called you a “twitch baddie” in their group chat. You’re really enjoying this. Megumi is by your side all the time, keeping a hand on your thigh or at the small of your back, smiling almost constantly. It eased his mind to see you getting along with his friends, something he was anxious about, even if he’d never admit it. He doesn’t keep a lot of people close to himself, so the sight of you joking around with his support group warms his heart in a way.

“Toge, I guarantee saying random food items won’t make you popular among the girls.” Yuji is shaking his head, barely keeping the laugh in. For the past few minutes, Toge explained his brilliant plan to the whole group, and you weren’t sure if you should laugh or cry.

“It works for him!” The white-haired man says offended, brows furrowed as he looks around, looking for any support but meeting none.

“It’s a guy from an anime. He has a magic tongue, and you think it’s about saying salmon all the time?” Megumi lifts one brow before taking a sip of his drink.

“First of all, he’s a cursed speech user, he doesn’t have a magic tongue. And second, I even look like him!”

“When was the last time you looked in the mirror?” It was Choso’s time to stick a pin in. “If you look like him, then I look like the blood guy you talked about yesterday.”

“Yeah, I’m with Cho on this one, you don’t look nearly similar.” Yuji nods, eyeing his friend up and down.

“Just admit you all hate me.”

“Easy. But when did we start playing truth or dare?” You almost choke hearing Megumi’s words.

“Shit, and you say Nobara’s rude.” He rolls his eyes as you murmur, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“She is. You just don’t notice it anymore.”

tag list (lmk if you wanna be added!): @nytylie @fresa-luna @syrooo @zaranobiyuyu @jvpit3rr @pandabiene5115 @good-mourning0 @pearlydays @irwinchester @pxppetmxster @ivydoesit23 @zayuriluvs @applepi25 @s777athv @estella-novella @wgafa @pookalicious-hq @lovely-maryj @briezy04764

[susiekern]

i'm in love with your fic and loved the nanami one too 😭 will you post more things? please please please 🙏🏻

Hiii, thank you sm for reading it at all!

I have a few works done, but I'll probably wait with posting them until I'm done with the fallen so my feed is consistent

I'm currently working on college Sukuna au, I have one mostly complete Naoya one shot, and I started writing Sleep Token song inspired shot for Gojo + two more from Fairy Tail (can you tell I'm rewatching rn 💀)

It'll all be posted one day, promise

[susiekern]

15. the one with the question

a/n: the demons told me to name the chapter "the one with hotneighbor235" so let's say it's an alternative title

warnings: swearing

word count: 1.829

masterlist

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You drop your phone on the desk and sigh deeply. It’s been almost a week, yeah. And you still haven’t talked to Megumi. You weren’t exactly sure what you were going to tell him anyway. ‘It was shitty when you talked to me as my favorite artist? When you hide that you’re him and try to build a relationship with me anyway? When you lied multiple times to conceal the truth?’

One part of you truly understood why it turned out like that. He couldn’t just randomly tell you about it all. The whole band worked hard to keep their identities covered, and it wouldn’t work if they just told people around them all the time. What hurt you was how he used Zenin to talk to you at the same time that he got close to you as himself. Why did he do that? For fun? To laugh at the dumb fan who was over the moon because he noticed her? That hurt part of your heart kept telling you it was cruel and you shouldn’t just forgive him.

But fuck, did you miss him. You barely stopped yourself from texting him back last night when your phone lit up with a message at 2 am.

‘I won’t give up on us.’

Please, don’t.

You wanted Megumi back, of course you did. But the wound was still too raw to just cover it up and forget about it. Thankfully, he limited himself to texting you, respecting that you didn’t want to see him, even though showing up at your door would only take him a few seconds. You needed the time and space, and he gave it to you. But how much more do you need?

“Hi, guys! Sorry for canceling earlier this week, but sickness got the best of me. As a compensation, we have a guest tonight, your favorite, Yuji.” Tuning out your thoughts, you put on your best smile and focus on your stream. It can wait a few more hours.

zeyde_: come again to Kyoto, pleaaaase

sammie: LET’S DO A MEET-UP IN KYOTO, YES.

“I’ll think about it, for sure. It was great to see some of you at the expo and obviously to meet with you, Zeyde, for the concert later.” You smile at the camera a few hours later, having just ended a call with Yuji after playing the planned games. It was truly relaxing, occupying your mind for the evening with something else than the last week. “Nobara wanted to go next time too, so we could probably make it happen.”

viviaaan: omg yes, bring the queen with you

viviaaan: I have to ask her about a few things from my closet, that’d be perfect!

zeyde_: the pleasure was mine, always happy to be a guide and a photographer

yusshi: I’m so jealous, must be nice not to live in a shithole, watch me take a trip across the country to meet you

“It’s always incredible to talk to any of you, so even if only two people show up, I’ll be more than happy.” Your cheeks almost hurt from smiling at the comments that flood the chat.

hotneighbor235: god I missed that smile

sammie: hotneighbor?!

zeyde_: THE hot neighbor

rooney_: wait what’s going on

“What the hell?” You murmur under your breath and furrow your brows. No, he wouldn’t do that, right?

viviaaan: wdym you missed it

zeyde_: what have you done hot neighbor

hotneighbor235: something shitty, but hopefully I can make it right

“You really don’t give up, huh?”

hotneighbor235: never

hotneighbor235: 5 minutes y/n, that’s all I need.

sammie: as a hot neighbor x y/n shipper, I’m with him

viviaaan: give the guy a chance, that’s actually adorable to come here and ask

yusshi: if a dude showed up in my chat asking for 5 mins, I’d cave in instantly

hotneighbor235: you’ve heard the people, darling

hotneighbor235: what do you say?

“5 minutes and not one longer. I’ll meet you upstairs soon.” Sighing, you nod your head. You can’t lie; asking on your stream warms up your heart a little. That’s an effort that you didn’t expect. Besides, it’s only 5 minutes, right? You’ll let him explain and nothing more, then you can think this through again.

hotneighbor235: we both know how it usually ends

hotneighbor235: but I’ll take what you give

hotneighbor235: thanks chat

20 minutes later, you climb the staircase leading to the rooftop. It brings back memories of every time you went there to just sit and talk to Megumi, all those weeks ago. When it all seemed easier. No, when it was easier. Now you’re not sure what to expect; your hands are shaking a little, and your brain feels fogged up. You finally go through the door, feeling the cold air enveloping you in a moment.

“You actually came.” Megumi sounds shocked, like he didn’t expect you to show up in the end. He’s standing in the usual spot, black hoodie on, hair tousled by the wind, cheeks a bit blushed, but you can’t tell if it’s due to the cold or emotions. You nervously come closer, tugging at the sleeves of your own hoodie.

“Yeah.” You murmur, standing in front of him, keeping the distance. “Hi.”

“Hi.” You hate how unsure your voices sound, how it feels like this week and everything that happened created a valley between you two. But you won’t be the one to cross it first, no matter how much you want to feel his warmth and arms around your body or breathe in his smell, which brings you so much comfort every time. “I’m… Fuck, I don’t even know how to start.”

“You’ve had almost a week to figure it out, Megumi. Or even longer if you ever planned to have this conversation with me.”

“I know. I just didn’t think you’d actually agree to talk to me tonight.” His fingers tug anxiously on his hair as he takes a deep breath in. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you found out like this, I should be the one to tell you about it all. But I need you to know that I didn’t mean anything wrong by keeping it from you. At first, I would never think we’d be that close, but then I saw it as an opportunity. It was easier to talk to you as a Zenin since you didn’t even like Megumi. But then I fell too deep and couldn’t find a proper way to get out of this.” He says, his voice hurting almost as much as your heart did in the past days.

“I understand why you kept it hidden at first, truly. But after Kyoto and the last few weeks, I thought we both felt the same, and I felt like an idiot when I finally figured it out.” Megumi’s eyes meet yours, and you almost gasp seeing how intense his gaze is.

“We feel the same. At least I hope you still do. And I’m the idiot for not telling you earlier, I wanted to do it in Kyoto, but I was worried. Zenin is a different part of me, and sometimes even I can’t believe we’re the same person. So I thought maybe you’d be mad for ruining his image in your head or disappointed with how it turns out.”

“I would never be disappointed. God, Megumi. If the last months showed me anything, it’s that you’re more than I could ever ask for. Zenin was a dumb fantasy of mine, somewhere deep in my head, but you’re the one I wanted to build something with. My future. Our future.” You clench your fists, keeping your head high. He thought you’d be disappointed? “I’m only disappointed that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me before. But at the same time, we’re not even officially together, so how could I expect it?”

“What do you mean?” His brows are furrowed, and there’s an evident confusion on his face. “We’re together. We’ve been together since our first date.”

Wait, what? Now you’re the one who’s confused.

“We’re together?”

“I mean, if you still want to be with me, yeah?” Hysteric laughter that pulls from your chest makes him frown a little. “I’ll take that as a no?”

“I want to. It’s just not how this thing is supposed to be working.” You take a deep breath in and shake your head a little. There’s hope behind his green eyes, and you can’t help the small smile that tugs on your lips.

“Oh, sorry, you want me down on my knees and asking, or…?” He risks joking, his smirk that you love so much back in its usual place.

God, how you missed seeing it. Seeing him. Talking to him. You missed everything that came with Megumi Fushiguro. His green eyes you got lost in every time, his deep voice, terrible jokes, and calloused fingers. How he made you feel with just one look your way. Sure, you need to work on the communication between you two, but you’re willing to take the risk and give him a chance because how you feel around him is too rare not to try.

“Not hiding your second identity and being fully honest will be enough.” Your words make him drop his gaze to his shoes. “Any other alter ego I should know about?”

“Nope, Zenin is the only one, I promise.” He sighs and takes a step closer to you. “I want to ask, though.”

“Doing it the right way this time?” You take a step his way too, giving him the reassurance he so desperately needed.

“Something like that, yes.” Megumi takes one of your hands in his, gently, like he’s scared you’ll run away any moment now. “y/n y/l, will you be my girlfriend? With full honesty and VIP tickets to the concerts this time.”

“You got me at the tickets. So yes, I will be your girlfriend. But pull shit like that once again, and I’ll throw you off this rooftop with my bare hands.” The threat would be more serious if you weren’t smiling like crazy.

“If I hurt you again, I’ll jump on my own.” With that, he pulls you in, one of his hands cradling your cheek as his eyes roam around your face. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

You don’t answer, instead going on your toes to connect your lips in a first kiss in what seems like forever. It’s gentle, almost unsure, as you both test the water first. But you only need a few seconds to fall into the rhythm you know so well, his arms wrapping around your waist, as yours circle his shoulders, pulling each other closer. That feeling of comfort that envelops the both of you, the warmth and peace of mind, was worth waiting for. It was all worth it, as long as he held you close and as long as you kept smiling at him.

tag list (lmk if you wanna be added!): @nytylie @fresa-luna @syrooo @zaranobiyuyu @jvpit3rr @pandabiene5115 @good-mourning0 @pearlydays @irwinchester @pxppetmxster @ivydoesit23 @zayuriluvs @applepi25 @s777athv @estella-novella @wgafa @pookalicious-hq @lovely-maryj @briezy04764

[susiekern]

14. the one with the rain

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol

word count: 747

lyrics from: Rain - Sleep Token (please let's just pretend I haven't used it before already...)

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You’re splayed on your bed, keeping your eyes on the clock, watching the minutes pass. 11:59 pm, 11.12.24. One more minute. You still have no idea what happens at midnight. Zenin stayed true to his words, and besides the one ominous text, he didn’t reveal anything. What will happen in one minute? Is it the tour announcement? Is it new merch that fans have asked for for so long? A new song? Whatever it was, the mystery around it made you excited as ever. Not only you, Twitter was buzzing under the Fallen hashtag, with many fans waiting for anything, just like you were now.

12:00 am.

Your phone lights up with a single notification from Spotify.

“New release: The Fallen invites you to the room below in their new album! Save it now!”

New album? Whole album? With shaky hands, you grab your phone and tap on the notification. There it is. “The Room Below” by The Fallen, 10 songs. You put your headphones on faster than ever and instantly click the play button.

Around 25 minutes in, you’re more than half done. You recognize a few of the songs, two of them previously released as stand-alone, and one is the song they played in Kyoto, the one Zenin told you he wanted you to hear live first. You rest your head on your pillow comfortably, hearing the first notes of another one. Rain.

‘For so long, I have waited

So long that I almost became

Just a stoic statue, fit for a nobody’

You don’t even notice as your fingers tap the sheets to the melody. A melody that seems familiar in a way.

‘And I don't wanna get in your way

But I finally think I can say

That the vicious cycle was over

The moment you smiled at me’

Zenin’s voice floods your brain, words making your heart beat faster. You could imagine his figure standing tall on the stage, holding the microphone tightly, eyes closing behind the black and gold mask.

‘And just like the rain

You cast the dust into nothing

And wash out the salt from my hands’

Just like the rain… You abruptly open your eyes, head spinning. You’ve heard something like this before. You’re sure of it. But when and where? Who said that? How do you know this melody? They haven’t played it before, of that you’re certain. So how?

‘So touch me again

I feel my shadow dissolving

Will you cleanse me with pleasure?’

Just as the melody gets heavier, it hits you. You’ve heard it many times already. Your eyes instinctively move toward the wall separating your room and Megumi’s. He played it two weeks ago, last week, hell, even two days ago, when you were napping in his bed as he was strumming his guitar. It was obviously a little different played on acoustic guitar in his room than the electric one in the song, but it’s the same melody.

‘And just like the rain

You cast the dust into nothing

And wash out the salt from my hands’

The memory of your evening in Kyoto hits you out of nowhere, and you swear you’re out of breath for a second.

‘Once in a while, Megumi gives you a soft kiss on the lips or the top of your head, whispering gentle words. Barely awake at this point, you catch a few that make your heart clench.

“You’re like a rain that washes my heart of the dust and salt, dear.”’

“Just like the rain…” You whisper.

No. There’s no way, right? He wouldn’t do that to you. But it also makes so much sense at the same time. Why he was supposedly out of town when the Fallen played in Tokyo, why he was in Kyoto that weekend, even being out with his friends after the announcement was posted. Why you’ve never even heard Megumi hum when he played specific songs. Or how Zenin found your stream out of all people.

Was Megumi the Zenin all this time?

‘Nobody can say for certain

If maybe it's all just a game’

Was it all just a game? Your relationship? Or whatever you two were building for the past weeks? Every time he held you close, kissed you, comforted you? Was it entertainment for him to listen to you talking about the Fallen and Zenin?

‘When I open my eyes to the future

I can hear you say my name

So rain down on me’

tag list (lmk if you wanna be added!): @nytylie @fresa-luna @syrooo @zaranobiyuyu @jvpit3rr @pandabiene5115 @good-mourning0 @pearlydays @irwinchester @pxppetmxster @ivydoesit23 @zayuriluvs @applepi25 @s777athv @estella-novella @wgafa @pookalicious-hq @lovely-maryj @briezy04764

[susiekern]

13. the one with the announcement

a/n: short one this time, but the next chapter will be super important so I hope it'll make it up to y'all, the gc is obv the fallen boys from Megumi's pov

warnings: none I think?

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tag list (lmk if you wanna be added!): @nytylie @fresa-luna @syrooo @zaranobiyuyu @jvpit3rr @pandabiene5115 @good-mourning0 @pearlydays @irwinchester @pxppetmxster @ivydoesit23 @zayuriluvs @applepi25 @s777athv @estella-novella @wgafa @pookalicious-hq @lovely-maryj @briezy04764

[susiekern]

12. the one with the getaway car

a/n: I woke up to see that we've hit over 1000 likes at this point and I can't tell y'all how happy it makes me to know you enjoy my little works 😭 thank you so much for being here with me 🫡🫶🏻 also I'm posting it from my phone since I'm at a nye trip, so lmk if anything is looking wrong!

warnings: swearing, mentions and suggestions of sexual activities

word count: 1.491

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It’s crazy how things can change in a few weeks.

Ten days ago you had a first official date with Megumi, and now you’re sitting in his room, reading a book while he plays guitar. Spending quality time together, as Nobara would call it. You’re not sure if the thing between you two is official or not, but in the past two weeks of trying, you found out that dating Megumi is… fun. Yeah.

It had its ups and downs, like everything in life, but you try to only focus on the good parts, like how much your followers go crazy whenever you mention anything about him on your streams. They never saw him, but they loved him. Crazy. The first stream after your little Instagram fuck-up was filled with questions, and just remembering that you smile a little.

sammie: Y/N DON’T TORTURE US

rooney_: just admit it at this point

zeyde_: it’s the hot neighbor, right? it has to be him

yusshi: y/n x hot neighbor confirmed

“Guys, chill out. Nothing confirmed, I just went out with someone.” You sighed, taking a sip of the energy drink.

The little walk date you went out on yesterday turned into midnight cooking and late morning, so you were feeling the effects of only a few hours of sleep. It was great, though, so you weren’t really complaining. Megumi took the trying part seriously, and first, he took you for a walk around the calmer part of Tokyo combined with coffee in the park cafe, then cooked a dinner at his and Yuji’s place, so you could enjoy it while watching a movie. It wasn’t anything over the top; it wasn’t forced. Everything you did felt natural, like you’d been at it for years already.

lan2137: I refuse to ship you with anyone but him atp

zeyde_: LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

zeyde_: and you are the people in the back y/n

nobabar: IT WAS THE HOT NEIGHBOR GUYS

nobabar: also I got you the mochi you asked for, it’s in the fridge

sammie: the queen has spoken

viviaaan: HI NOBARA

yusshi: I knew it!

“Traitor. But thanks for the mochi, Nono.” Betrayed by your own roommate. For the next half an hour, your chat was restless in asking you about the date until you caved and shared a little. Not like you’re going to tell people how his back was now full of scratches and you had small bruises on your hips, accidentally shaped like his fingers. No way.

“What are you smiling about?” Megumi asks, looking up from his notebook that was splayed on the desk. Oh, what you’d give to see these pages. He treats it like his treasure, always putting it safely into the drawer. With the black acoustic guitar in his hands and without a shirt on, he was a view you’d never get tired of. His fingers expertly pulled on the strings, not stopping even when he looked at you.

“I’m just happy, nothing specific.” You close the book that you have been trying to focus on for the past minutes and drop it on the nightstand. Turning onto your side, you stretch a little on his bed and move your attention fully to him. “What are you playing?”

“Nothing specific.” He repeats your words. After finishing the melody and putting the instrument back in its place, he gets up from a chair and joins you on the bed. “Nap time?”

“Megs, we’re meeting with Yuji, Nobara, and Maki for dinner in an hour.” You can’t help but laugh at his proposition.

“Five minutes.” Wrapping his arms around you, he shifts you both so now he’s lying on your body, head on your chest. It was his favorite position to sleep in, you’ve noticed. Not that you’re opposing in any way, it was comforting to feel his weight on you, and you felt like hugging a giant teddy bear. Maybe a bit harder than an actual plushie, but the warmth makes up for it.

“It’s never only five minutes, and we both know it.” Even with that, you instinctively brush your finger through his soft hair, earning a sigh from him. “Fine, five minutes.”

It’s not five minutes. It never is.

“Why does he always have to come up with shit like that?!” It’s possible that the whole building was currently listening to your meltdown. Not that you care. Not right now.

“He just texted you? Didn’t even call?” Nobara was as calm as ever, sitting on the counter with a beer in hand, watching as you paced around the room. On the contrary, Yuji and Megumi, who are standing near the kitchen island, look terrified.

“No. He just sent one text with place and time. I wouldn’t even be surprised if it was his assistant who sent it. I should just fucking ignore it.” You shake your head. With shaking hands, you take your own bottle and take a sip, throat dry after cursing for a good fifteen minutes. “Fucking asshole.”

“Okay, deep breath in. I’m sure it won’t be that bad.” Megumi tries to do anything, but you only give him one deadly look.

“Keep going and you’ll earn yourself a celibacy.” You’re absolutely serious about that threat, and that’s enough to shut him up for a moment. “I need a fucking smoke before I punch something. Or someone.”

They all look as you grab a pack of cigarettes and a jacket and go to the balcony. Nobara sighs and takes another sip of beer.

“How are you so calm? I’m genuinely nervous just watching her.” Yuji asks, moving his gaze from you to her.

“It’s not my first rodeo, newbie. He pulls shit like that at least once every six months, but usually, you’re safely in your own apartment. Now you’re a witness at the wrong place at the wrong time.” She laughs humorlessly.

What reason for this whole thing? Your lovely father, who remembers about his own child once or twice a year. You were all having a lovely evening, watching shitty dramas and eating takeout, when you got a text from him, demanding you come to dinner in three days. Not asking. Demanding.

“I’ll risk that celibacy.” Megumi sighs and pulls on his hoodie that is lying on the bar stool.

“Good luck. Just don’t tell her to calm down, it usually has the opposite effect.”

When he gets out on the balcony, you’re not much calmer. Your hands are shaking, making it hard to even hold a cigarette, but nicotine is your last resort at this point. You’re leaning on the railing, breathing in cold air, hoping it’ll cool down your nerves.

“About that celibacy…” Taking a spot next to you, Megumi tries to start with a joke. Surprisingly, you chuckle under your breath, taking another puff in. “But seriously, I get it.”

“You do?”

“Have I ever told you about my dad?” He asks, before stealing a cigarette from your hand. As you shake your head, he takes two puffs and gives it back. “He did something similar. But when your dad forgot about you for a few months, mine forgot about me and Tsumi for almost ten years. I was six when Mom died, and he fell into a dark place after. Gambling, alcohol, and I don’t even want to know what else. He’d show up once a year, promise he’d get better, then do exactly the same thing every time, just disappear overnight. So yeah, I get it in a way.”

“Shit.” You curse and turn a little to look at him. His face doesn’t tell you much, although his eyes are stuck on something in the sky. “I had no idea.”

“You couldn’t know. Even Yuji doesn’t. When I was sixteen, he was gone for two years and showed up again. But this time he actually did better. We’re not really close, but he’s present and calls me once in a while, trying to redeem himself for those ten years. He’s closer to Tsumi since they both live in Kyoto, and he took on a mission to be the best grandpa to her kid now.” There’s a soft smile on his face at the mention of the current situation, and he looks at you. “I’m not saying you should be happy with what your dad is doing because it could be worse; don’t get me wrong. He’s an asshole. I’m just saying I kind of understand how it feels, and honestly, he’s not worth the nerves. Go there, see what he has to say, and if it’s the same old shit, he can’t make you stay.”

“Yeah. Sounds like a plan.” You nod and lean on his shoulder.

“I can drive you there and wait for you outside if you want.” He offers, wrapping an arm around your waist and smiling, when you laugh and look up at him.

“You’ll be my getaway car?”

“Always.”

tag list (lmk if you wanna be added!): @nytylie @fresa-luna @syrooo @zaranobiyuyu @jvpit3rr @pandabiene5115 @good-mourning0 @pearlydays @irwinchester @pxppetmxster @ivydoesit23 @zayuriluvs @applepi25 @s777athv @estella-novella @wgafa

[susiekern]

Just to keep y'all going a little

Toji mentioned in chapter 12? 🫢

11. the one where they try

a/n: since chapter 10 was so short, I'm doing a double update, only smau here

warnings: swearing

masterlist

tag list (lmk if you wanna be added!): @nytylie @fresa-luna @syrooo @zaranobiyuyu @jvpit3rr @pandabiene5115 @good-mourning0 @pearlydays @irwinchester @pxppetmxster @ivydoesit23 @zayuriluvs

[susiekern]

11. the one where they try

a/n: since chapter 10 was so short, I'm doing a double update, only smau here

warnings: swearing

masterlist

previous | next

tag list (lmk if you wanna be added!): @nytylie @fresa-luna @syrooo @zaranobiyuyu @jvpit3rr @pandabiene5115 @good-mourning0 @pearlydays @irwinchester @pxppetmxster @ivydoesit23 @zayuriluvs

[susiekern]

10. the one with the talk

warnings: swearing, mentions of sexual activities

word count: 838 (it's short, sorry)

masterlist

previous | next

You’ve spent the last half an hour pacing around the hotel room, head filled with nervous thoughts. Terrified of the conversation that will probably happen in a few minutes and a little mad. But you’re not sure if the latter is directed at Megumi or yourself. This talk should’ve taken place a long time ago, and while you knew why you hadn’t started it, why didn’t he?

Did he have different reasons than your own? What if for him it was just a way to get something without any strings attached? But if that’s the case, would he act like he did this morning? Or talk to you in general? Usually, one-night stands or fuck buddies don’t cuddle after they’re done, don’t talk about their day, or spend time together outside of the bed in general, right? So many questions and not even one solid answer.

“Hey.” You are so lost in thoughts, you don’t even notice when Megumi enters the room and stands in the doorway. He looks tired, and his voice is a little raspy, but you blame it on the day with his family. He mentioned they were quite tiring before.

“Hey.” Your response is almost shy as you stop pacing and look at him.

“How was the event? And the concert?”

“Good. Yeah, it was good. I’ve met some followers at the expo, and The Fallen were amazing, like always.” You answer, watching as he slides his jacket off and hangs it over the chair that’s next to the big window. “We should talk.”

Megumi smirks hearing the sudden confidence behind these words and nods.

“Yeah, I think so.” There’s a tension in the room when you both sit at the edge of the bed, facing each other. “I’ll start. Just… let me finish before you say anything, okay?”

“Sure.” You nod and put your hands on your lap to stop yourself from fidgeting.

“I never wanted this to play out like that. When we met, I should’ve apologized for how my words came out; it wasn’t my intention to sound rude or hostile. Then it gave me some weird satisfaction, fighting with you, but I didn’t realize why until that night at Supernova. When you get excited or angry, your eyes glisten, and there are so many emotions on your face, it makes me feel alive in a way. Kind of like when I’m making music. It’s almost addicting. And after Supernova I’ve realized we don’t need to fight to get it, because every time I kiss you, it’s there too. Then we started meeting on the roof, and I don’t even know when you broke your way into my mind. I don’t know when I started caring and falling for you, y/n. You got me addicted, and I don’t want to let go; I don’t want it to end. And if you let me, I’ll try to show you what it means to me.”

For a second or two, all you can hear is your heartbeat. It’s racing, trying to escape your chest like it wants you to give it to Megumi. Funny, because it feels like you’ve already done it. His eyes didn’t leave yours for even a moment, and there’s sincerity and hope glistening in them.

Once before, you thought about how they remind you of a forest you could get lost in. You don’t know when, but you did. And there’s no escape route; you wouldn’t use it anyway.

“I’d let you do anything, Megumi, even break me. ‘Cause I have no idea when I started falling either. But suddenly you were on my mind almost constantly, and as much as it was infuriating, it felt right too. Fuck, even at the date with Yuta I couldn’t help but compare him to you, and it was just nice because his smile and touch didn’t make my body and mind stupid like yours do. I’ve never felt that way about someone, and I think I’d regret it if we didn’t at least try to figure it out.” Your voice and hands are trembling from emotions. Are you nervous? It doesn’t matter, because when Megumi takes your hand in his and smiles at you, it’s gone. The only thing left is the peace and overwhelming comfort you find in this small smile.

“So, should we try?” He asks, intertwining your fingers and giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

“Yeah, let’s try.”

For now, it’s enough. Trying is more than you could’ve asked for, and it seems you’re both content with that. You spend the rest of the night in each other’s arms, either talking or lying in comfortable silence, taking in the warmth and comfort of being with the other person. Once in a while, Megumi gives you a soft kiss on the lips or the top of your head, whispering gentle words. Barely awake at this point, you catch a few that make your heart clench.

“You’re like a rain that washes my heart of the dust and salt, dear.”

tag list (lmk if you wanna be added!): @nytylie @fresa-luna @syrooo @zaranobiyuyu @jvpit3rr @pandabiene5115 @good-mourning0 @pearlydays @irwinchester @pxppetmxster @ivydoesit23 @zayuriluvs

[susiekern]

HI this is kinda silly lol i've been reading your megumi fic series and when i tell you i'm OBSESSED also i started listening to sleep token because of it and i now LOVEEE them so uh thank you i guess LOL also could you please add me to the taglist for the fallen one? tysm <3

I'M SPREADING THE SLEEP TOKEN PROPAGANDA HELL YEAH

Of course you can be added 😭 Thank you so much for reading it and I'm so happy you enjoy!