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Bring Your Love Baby (I Can Bring You Shame) chapter 15!

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Chapter 15: “Welcome To The Club, Buck”

Chapter rating: G

Words: 2,623

Summary: Buck comes to a realisation about Tommy and sees the last person he expects on a call out. Tommy has the fear of god put into him by a phone call

Buck

It had taken two thirds of their shift for Buck to finally get Hen alone to talk. He liked the days when they were busy on shift—he wasn’t very good at sitting still and doing nothing, but he’d been wanting to talk to her all day. Not that he had a clue what he wanted to say. He wasn’t really even that sure about how he felt. He knew something was going on inside and knew (kind of) what it felt like, but didn’t quite have the words to articulate it.

Hen was in the kitchen making some tea when he approached her. “How long have you been with Karen?”

“Okay.” She responded confused. “Uh, coming on 10 years now I think. Why?”

He ignored her question. “Did.. did you know that you liked her back then?”

She huffed a laugh. “Actually, I didn’t like her at first.” Buck raised his brows in surprise. “I thought she was arrogant, a little stuck up and demanding.”

“Was-was she the first woman you liked?”

“Um, no.” She replied.

“So, you always knew you were gay?”

“Yes. Buck, you know that. Why are you asking about Karen and me?”

“I-“ He really was at a loss for words. This was new territory for him. At least it could be. He still wasn’t entirely sure what the thoughts he was having meant. He’d had crushes before and knew what those butterflies in his stomach usually meant. But he’d never felt them before about a man. It’s not like he felt any kind of shame for having them, more that he was unsure if he was interpreting them correctly.

He was well aware that plenty of people came out later in life, but was it possible to not realise your sexuality until later on? Could you think you were straight until you happen to meet someone of the same gender and then uncover your real sexuality? Or could your sexuality change entirely? Could you live your life one way and suddenly live it another? Buck was no stranger to a research binge but this felt like something to talk to an actual person about.

“Is.. is it possible to- can you.. can your sexuality change?”

“Not where I thought this was going, but alright.” She turned to face him, leaning her hip against the kitchen island. “Yeah. Yeah it’s possible. It depends.”

“On?”

“Well, some people have inclinations towards different people but don’t realise what it means until later. Others simply have never thought of being with someone of the same or different gender until they meet someone and just.. click. Why do you ask?”

Both of those made sense. Aside from checking out the occasional ass of an objectively hot guy, he’d never seriously considered men as an option. Until Tommy. He wasn’t even sure if he was an option right now given that he wasn’t entirely sure of what he was feeling. He was certainly drawn to the man. He was just so cool! He was calm, and confident in a way that Buck had always wished he could be. Tommy held himself in an almost gentlemanly like manner—always seeming to take the high road and never getting bogged down by jealousy or doubt like Buck did on a regular basis.

He was also handsome as hell and there was no way Buck could deny that anymore. Those lines that appeared around his eyes when he smiled were beautiful and more than once he’d imagined drawing them with his fingertips. The smile itself made Bucks stomach flip then fill with something warm and comforting. And that cleft!

“Is this about Tommy?” Hen said out of nowhere.

“Why-What? No.”

Hen replied with one of her signature ‘are you really gonna stand in front of me and lie’ looks. Buck stared back determined not to give in. Instead, she did with a sigh.

“Buck. Your ears perk up like a dog when his name gets brought up in conversation, that’s if you’re not the one bringing him up which you usually are and don’t get me started on the ‘Evan’ thing.”

“I-what Evan thing?”

“Even Cap doesn’t call you that because you’d kick up a fuss. Yet Tommy does and not a peep from you.”

Im all honesty Buck hadn’t even realised the significance. He’d noticed of course, how could he not, but Hen was right—he’d correct anybody else who called him Evan. His name was usually somewhat of a sore spot for him thanks to his parents. Evan was the kid who couldn’t do right. Even was the disappointment. Evan was the one whose name was spoken with derision and annoyance.

But it never felt that way when Tommy spoke his name. It seemed to be spoken with fondness and calm. It never felt heavy or full of judgement. And the deep, smooth tone of Tommys voice saying it often made his belly twist.

He had a crush on Tommy.

The realisation was written across his face and Hen let out a fond chuckle, patting him on the shoulder. “Welcome to the club, Buck.”

He let out a long breath and nodded. “What do I do?”

“In the grand scheme of things or with Tommy?”

“Both.”

“Honestly? Right now, nothing.” She said and Buck knotted his brows in confusion. “You need to sit with it for a bit. Figure out what you feel and what you want. There’s no time limit.”

“Oh-“ the bell rang out interrupting him. “-Kay.”

*****

Buck threw his tools into the compartment and closed the lid. He removed one of his gloves and wiped some sooty sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. His turnout jacket was open and the movement sent a whiff of himself out and he scrunched his nose. God he needed a shower.

“Everything done in there?” Bobby asked walking over.”

“Yeah, Cap. Gotta steel beam supporting the back end of the house, should hold until the family can get a contractor in.” He gestured towards the crowd gathered on the opposite side of the street, the family standing at the front, their faces sullen as they looked on at the smouldering remains of their home.

Someone at the back of the crowd caught Bucks eye. It was the mirrored sunglasses, really, that got his attention and the man looked familiar. Was that Alex? He smirked and Bucks stomach twisted uneasily.

“Earth to Buck!” Bobbys voice got his attention. He turned his head to Bobby beside him.

“Huh? What?”

“I said are we’re leaving.”

Buck looked back towards the group of people but couldn’t see him. He looked in each direction and passed the crowd but couldn’t see him anywhere. Alex was gone.

“Buck!” Bobby repeated, this time in a more frustrated tone. Buck looked back at him. “Get in the damn engine.”

“Right. Yeah. Sorry.”

*******

Tommy

“This is so unfair.” Grizz complained with a pout, hands on his hips. “Why didn’t you tell me he was a pool shark?”

“You challenged him to a game.” Clements reminded him unsympathetically

“And you were the one who made the bet.” Alvarez added.

Grizz watched on as Tommy easily began potting the remaining balls on the pool table. “Why didn’t you tell me how good you were?”

Tommy sunk the black and stood up straight and shrugged. “You never asked.”

“Could be worse, probie-“ Alvarez slapped a hand on his shoulder “-you could have bet money.”

Grizz scoffed. “I think I’d have preferred that.“

“Oh come on, it’s just latrine duty.” Clements said.

“For two months.”

“Like I said, you were the one who made the bet.” Reminded Alvarez.

Tommys phone vibrated in his pocket. “I’m sure you’ll do an excellent job, Grizz.” He told him with a sarcastic smirk as he walked away to answer his phone.

“Hello?”

“Hello. Am I speaking with a Thomas Kinard?” The deep voice on the line spoke.

“Yes. Who is this?”

“Doctor Steven Lamb, at Cedars Sinai..”

Tommys heart immediately rose and situated itself into his throat. He couldn’t help the visions of his sister lying dead or dying from infiltrating his mind.

“Is it Agatha?” He said, feeling like his throat was closing.

“No. I’m calling regarding Evan Buckley.” Tommys heart settled but not by much. The visions of his sister were replaced by Evan lying on a gurney. He felt a lump in his chest at the thought of losing him. How he had managed to infiltrate Tommy’s carefully guarded heart was beyond him.

“Is..” Tommy swallowed. “Is he hurt?”

“I’m afraid so. He has been severely injured in a work related accident. I can’t say much over the phone but I was advised by his colleague, a Henrietta Wilson, to contact you.”

“Oh god.” He ran a hand down his face. “Thank you for calling.”

The man on the phone hung up without responding. Clements, noticing something was wrong, walked over.

“Tommy? Everything okay?”

“Uh, no. That.. it’s Evan.” He said. “He’s been.. hurt.”

“Shit. How bad?”

“I don’t know. They wouldn’t-“ he cut himself off and lifted his phone to search for Hens number. If the doctor wouldn’t tell him over the phone then Hen would.

“Tommy! To what do I owe the pleasure.” Hen answered in a far more jovial tone than he was expecting.

“How is he?”

“How’s who?”

“Evan.”

“Buck? He’s fine?” She replied clearly confused.

Tommy breathed a sigh of relief. “What happened?”

“What do you mean what happened?”

“Hen, I’m not on the mood for screwing around.” He was getting annoyed.

“Tommy, I’m not screwing around. I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Evan getting hurt on the job.” He replied. “The hospital just called me to tell me.”

“Well, either there’s a mix up or Buck has a doppelgänger because I’m looking at him right now making a mess in the kitchen.”

Tommy’s relief was quickly replaced with confusion. What mix up could have possibly happened? Come to think of it, why would the hospital call him and not Hen herself? She was well aware Evan lived with him.

“Tommy, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know. Can you put Evan on the phone for a sec?”

“Uh, sure. Hold on.”

He honestly wasn’t expecting the level of relief and happiness he felt when he heard Evan’s voice through the line. “Hey, Tommy.” He could tell by the way he spoke that he was smiling.

“Evan.” He breathed. “Are you okay?”

“Uh, I’m fine?” He answered, confused. “Why do you ask.”

“I just got the weirdest, and honestly terrifying, call from the hospital and-“

“Shit, is it your sister?! Has something happened?”

“No, she’s fine. Least I think.” Tommy made a mental note to call her when he got off the phone with Evan. Just in case. “No, it was about you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. They said you’d been hurt on a call.”

“Uh, no I’m perfectly fine. Did they call the wrong person by mistake?” Buck suggested.

“I don’t think so. They used my name and yours. And Hen’s.”

“Maybe it was a prank?”

“If it was they better hope I don’t find out who did it .” His tone got angrier. He wasn’t a fan of pranks at the best of times, but something like this was beyond cruel.

“Almost sounds like you were worried about me.” Buck said back, and again Tommy could hear him smile as he said it. He could picture the little shits smirk and it doused the angry heat in his chest.

“I was.” He replied in a moment of honesty that surprised himself.

Bucks voice was softer and had a hint of sincerity as when he replied. “I’m really okay.”

“Yeah.” Tommy said. “Good.”

**********

Buck

Buck spent the entire 40 minute drive from the station to home at the end of his shift thinking about Alex. He kept going back and forth between thinking that it must have been a coincidence that he saw him on the call and thinking that something more sinister was afoot. In all likelihood it probably was a coincidence, but he couldn’t rid himself of that gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t see Alex’s eyes behind his sunglasses, but something about the smirk he’d thrown Bucks way that unsettled him. He was standing at the scene of a fire that had destroyed a family home; the family themselves standing a few feet in front of him crying and yet Alex looked amused. Proud, even.

His gut instinct told him that it was more than just a random occurrence that Alex was there, but he’d be lying if he said he had complete faith in his own gut. Often times growing up he’d gotten told off by his parents for doing what he’d thought was the right thing. And Bobby had chastised him numerous times on scenes where he’d taken an action based on his instinct, even when he’d been right in the end because going with his instincts often meant dismissing Bobbys orders.

“I saw Alex today.” He told Tommy later. Tommy had come home from his shift exhausted and Buck chose to wait until he’d showered and eaten before bringing up the subject.

Tommys face showed surprise. “As in my date, Alex?”

Buck nodded. “Yeah.”

“You walk past him on the street or something?”

“That’s the thing, no. I saw him on scene at a house fire. And-and he wasn’t just walking by, he was standing in the crowd smiling at me. Like, he remembered who I was.”

Tommys face shifted to a concerned look. “Did he say anything to you?”

Buck shook his head. “No. And as soon as I saw him he disappeared. I don’t know, Tommy, it felt.. it was like he was there on purpose. The way he was smiling at me..? It-it was like he knew something I didn’t. Honestly, I.. I’m starting to think that something is going on.”

“Wait.” Tommy declared sitting upright on the couch. “What time did you see him?”

“Uh, I don’t know. Around.. 3:30pm give or take.”

“The phone call I got about you being in hospital happened around the same time.”

“Okay, that can’t be a coincidence, right?” Perhaps this was one of those times that his gut was correct. “And you know what? I’m starting to think that maybe it was him who threw that rock through my car window.”

Tommys eyebrows drew together. “What makes you say that?”

“The fact that not long after he just happened to be in the same cafe as you and your sister. I didn’t think much of it at the time but after today—you getting that call right after I see him—I don’t think it’s random.” Tommy sighed and a pensive look same across his face.

“But it didn’t sound like him on the phone. The voice was much deeper.”

“I’m certain you can get apps these days to disguise your voice. Did it sound fake?”

Tommys tried to think back to the phone call but all he could remember was the fear he’d felt thinking that something bad happened to Evan. He could barely remember the words the man spoke on the phone let alone the sound of his voice. “I don’t think so. I don’t really remember what it sounded like to be honest.”

“I think.. maybe we should call the cops.” Buck suggested.

“What are they going to do? We can’t prove he’s done anything. And they’ll just say it was just a coincidence.”

Buck thought about it for a second. “Maybe I can talk to Athena? If nothing else, maybe she could look him up, see if anything crops up about him.”

“If you think it’ll help.”

#911 abc #evan buckley #tommy kinard #bucktommy #911 buck #buck x tommy #evan buck buckely #tevan

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sweaters-and-silly · 2 days ago

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911 what is your pride (week 3; family)

@911whatisyourpride

bucktommy; 2.7k tags: future fic; kid fic; dialogue heavy; see note below

notes: in the mess of my wip folder there's the beginning of a story where buck and tommy, after bobby's death, leave LA and start a new life in southern new jersey, going mostly no contact with the 118 until athena comes to them five years later. they're married with two kids in that story, and this is the story of how they got those kids. this got long, but i probably won't put it on the ao3 until the rest of the story is written (if it happens!) so. uh. here you go.

---

Buck wasn't being held hostage in his captain's office by a six-year-old girl, but he wasn't… not being held hostage by a six-year-old girl.

"Who's there?" Layla demands, pointing at the door.

"That's my captain," Buck says easily, meeting Captain Reynolds's eyes. He minutely shakes his head, so Cap holds up a big transparent Ziploc bag to the door's window. "Looks like he brought lunch for us. I can go get it, and you and Bailey stay right here."

"Okay but he can't come in," Layla says. Bailey, her two-year-old brother, sniffles and holds onto Buck's belt loop as he tries to get up. "Bailey, he's coming back, he's bringing lunch."

Buck gently pries Bailey's hand off his belt, holds it between his own for a second, then walks carefully to the door and opens it just wide enough for the bag to slip through.

"Tommy's here, so are the state adoption officials," Reynolds whispers. "You sure about this?"

"Buck!" Layla screams. "He can't come in!"

Buck nods, takes the bag and shuts the door securely behind him. "Alright, how do we feel about applesauce? Ooh, I haven't seen this before: blueberry applesauce? I don't get it. Huh. It's applesauce that tastes like blueberries?"

He sits on the floor again, Bailey between him and Layla. Bailey eagerly gets close to Buck again and looks into the bag, pulling things out and holding them out to Layla curiously. Layla doesn't like being on the outside, though, so she comes around and sits in front of them.

"Alright, so, while we eat," Buck says, popping open some veggies and hummus for Bailey. Layla examines the sandwiches inside and settles on tuna fish, which surprises him. "My husband's here. Tommy. I told you about Tommy."

"You can't leave," Layla says immediately.

"I didn't say I was gonna," Buck says. "But he'd like to meet you guys, if you want."

"Why?"

Buck didn't think this is how it would happen, but it's not like anything else in his life has gone normally before. Ever. Ever.

"Last year, we put ourselves in the state adoption registry," Buck says, keeping cool. "And maybe… maybe we could adopt both of you."

Layla stops chewing and stares at him. Bailey wants another carrot stick and another fistful of hummus, so Buck helps him with that.

"Both of us," Layla says. "Or no deal."

"We want both of you," Buck agrees. "I grew up with a big sister and I wouldn't be who I am without her. She's everything to me. Tommy doesn't have any brothers or sisters, but he wanted them as a kid, so we said that in our paperwork: we want to adopt siblings, if we could." Buck smiles at her. "So maybe this is a good deal for all four of us."

Layla takes another bite of her sandwich, watching him suspiciously. "Bailey likes you," she says finally. "He hasn't yelled since we got here."

"I like him, too," Buck says. "And I like you. Maybe you guys will like Tommy. I hope you do. I like him a lot. I love him."

"Why don't you already have kids?" Layla asks.

"Well, we didn't feel ready until now. Kinda feels like things are lining up for us, all of us."

Layla hmphs to herself. She looks at Bailey, who's thrilled with his hummus situation and sitting in Buck's lap. "Bailey, let's meet this other guy. Maybe he's not so bad, either."

"He's great," Buck says. "Best guy I know. Wouldn't have married him if he wasn't."

"Yeah, okay," Layla says.

"I'm gonna use my radio," Buck says, reaching for the mic clipped on his shirt. "Cap, this is Buck. Tommy can come in, just Tommy, over."

"Copy that, sending him in, over."

"You guys really talk like that? Why don't you just say okay?"

"Easier for emergencies," Buck says. "Okay sounds like too many things; copy that, roger, over, not a lot of words that sound like that. It's important when things around you are too loud or you can't say much."

Layla nods and then whips around when there's a knock at the door. Tommy has both his hands up and Layla flips back to Buck. "That's him?"

"Yup, that's Tommy," Buck says. "Can I let him in?"

"Okay, but if he tries to take us away—"

"He's just here to sit with us, get to know you guys," Buck replies. He tries to get Bailey out of his lap, but he fusses and clutches Buck tighter. "Okay, let's both—"

"Don't go anywhere," Layla says sharply. "Don't take him anywhere. Open the door and then come back."

Buck leans in close and meets her eyes. "I'm not leaving, okay? And neither are you, until you and Bailey want to. I promise."

She stares right back at him. "I don't believe you."

Buck's only met her twice, but he knows that face and how much she wants to believe him.

"Believe me a little, please." She doesn't agree, but doesn't argue either, so Buck stands up and balances Bailey on his hip. "Boy, you are a big guy," Buck says, bouncing him a little. He lets Tommy in, then shuts the door behind him again. "Come on in, we're just having lunch."

It must have been a classroom day for Tommy in his (relatively) new job training medevac pilots, so he's dressed in his best responsible nerd chic: a button down shirt with a V-neck sweater over it. Perfect for convincing the state adoption agency that they're responsible potential parents, even if one of them has been trapped in the captain's office for almost two hours. As they look at each other, though, the mature silver fox instructor look gives way to pure Tommy: what the fuck are you doing/are we doing this/alright I guess we're doing this/christ now we're here aren't we/guess we're rolling with it. His face takes a real journey as they cross the room to where Layla is still sitting, watching them suspiciously.

"Layla, Bailey, this is Tommy Kinard," Buck says. "Tommy, this is Layla Hoffman, age six, and Bailey Hoffman, age two."

Tommy nods, hands at his sides. "Nice to meet you. Can I sit?"

"Fine," Layla says. She doesn't make room for Tommy, so Tommy folds himself up the best he can next to her, across from Buck and Bailey. "Tommy, why do you want kids?"

"Right out the gate, huh?" To Tommy's credit, he doesn't blink. Buck could swoon if he wasn't playing it so, so cool.

Layla points at Buck. "He's really nice and hasn't lied to us yet, and Bailey likes him. What about you?"

"Well, I also don't lie to children," Tommy says. "And…" He looks across to Buck, eyebrows up by his hairline. "And it's not just me. We both want kids. We want a family."

"You like kids?"

"I do."

"Someone at the adoption center told me to stop being a little jerk or I'd never get adopted," Layla says. "Are you gonna get rid of us if I'm a little jerk?"

"Absolutely not, and I can't believe someone said that," Tommy says, glancing with horror at Buck, who's hearing this for the first time, too. "You're kids. You're going through stuff for the first time. Of course it's gonna be a lot. You're gonna feel how you feel."

Layla looks at Buck seriously. "Good answer."

Buck can't help preening a little. "Told you. He's a good guy."

"Yeah, maybe," Layla says. "Okay. You can hold Bailey."

Tommy hums to himself as he takes in Bailey, who's getting his face wiped clean of hummus while the conversation goes on around him. "Seems like he's busy."

Layla tugs at Bailey's hand and points at Tommy. Buck watches him turn curious, so he gets him to stand up near Tommy. He fusses a little to be away from Buck, but Tommy's solid and steadies him right away. He stands behind Tommy and drapes his arms on Tommy's shoulders, chin leaning against Tommy's head. He looks at Layla and Buck like, okay, this guy's fine.

"Tommy's got that effect on everyone," Buck says to Layla. "He's so cool."

Tommy gives Buck a look as he answers dryly, "I put my socks on one at a time, just like anyone else. And I make really good pancakes."

Layla's skeptical. "Better than IHOP? What makes them really good?"

"Love, patience, and more butter than I should admit to," Tommy says, glancing at Buck. "Sorry. That's my secret."

"Yeah, not that much of a secret," Buck replies, then assures Layla, "but they're really good."

She nods and then, to Buck's surprise, comes around and sits next to Buck, side-by-side. "So what happens now?"

"Well, I'd like to eat this sandwich, and maybe you and me can watch Tommy try to win Bailey over."

"He already did. Bailey screams right away if he doesn't like someone."

"Good to know," Tommy says, still in Bailey's clutches.

"But what happens to us? Are we getting in trouble?" Layla looks into Buck's face with her piercing eyes. "Are you really gonna try to adopt us or are you just saying that so we get out of here?"

"So, I talked to the state adoption people outside," Tommy says, motioning to the door. "We had a home visit before we submitted our paperwork so…" He glances at Buck, who nods. No time like the present. "So we can take you home, if you want to come with us. Both of you."

"You'd have to share a room for tonight, both of you, but we have a room for each of you," Buck says. "We can shop for stuff tomorrow. Pick out your own bed, sheets and blankets, whatever you need. Your stuff."

"And Bailey's," Layla says.

"And Bailey's," Tommy agrees.

"Are you gonna get fired?" Layla asks Buck, eyes glancing at the door. "Because I locked us in here?"

"Nah, Cap loves kids, he's got three," Buck replies. "No one got hurt, you didn't set any fires—"

"It's a firehouse, you can handle fires," Layla says.

"Yeah, but we didn't have to," Buck replies. "So what do you say? Do you want to try us out as your adopted dads?"

"I finally have a good excuse to put that tire swing in the yard," Tommy says.

Buck gasps. "I'm not a good excuse?"

"That's not what I meant."

Layla touches Buck's shoulder to get his attention. "You drive a hard bargain, but okay."

"Yeah? Okay?"

"Yeah," Layla says, standing up. "Let's see how good you guys are at this dad thing."

Buck's trying not to scream or cry as he stands up from the floor. One minute he was Buck, the next he was a dad. Isn't that how it always happens? "First thing's first: let's clean all this up and put it in the trash."

"Is this a chore?" She thinks of something. "Do we get an allowance?"

"We'll talk about it," Buck says. "Do you think Bailey can be paid off in celery sticks?"

"Can you be paid off in celery sticks?" Tommy asks Layla.

"Cash only," she says.

Buck helps Tommy stand, too, and gets Bailey situated on his hip. "You've got an incredible vocabulary," Tommy informs her.

"Thanks! I hate reading and I love TV."

"You haven't met our book collection," Buck says. "We'll find you something you like."

"Yeah, and no Seinfeld until you're 12," Tommy replies.

"I don't know what that is."

"Fantastic."

When they emerge from the office onto the main floor of the firehouse, there's a wave of applause from everyone gathered: Buck's usual crew and the staff from the state adoption agency.

"Remember what you said," Layla whispers as she grabs Buck's hand tightly, then Tommy's, too. "You said you're keeping us, both of us."

"We are," Buck says, his heart quietly breaking and mending itself, all at once. He looks behind at Tommy; exhaustion and lunch have suddenly hit Bailey, so he's on Tommy's hip and dozing on his shoulder like he belongs there.

"Congratulations," Captain Reynolds informs them. "Looks like negotiations went well?" He says to Layla, "Thank you for giving me my lieutenant back. And my office."

"So far so good," Buck says, Layla gripping his hand with all of her strength. "Okay if I take some time off, Cap?"

He nods at Buck, and at Tommy, too; they like each other a lot, and he looks just as happy for Tommy as he does for Buck. "Give us a call if you need anything, like another rescue."

"You got it," Buck says, then meets Tommy's eyes. "But I don't think we will."

"I don't think we will," Tommy agrees.

---

Buck doesn't think it'll happen again, but Bailey and Layla are asleep in the guest room by 9:30, completely conked out. Buck and Tommy leave the door ajar behind them with two nightlights gently glowing in the dark room, then head down the hall to their room.

"Okay, so what the hell did we do today?" Tommy whispers as he shuts the door most of the way closed. "I got to the office at 8 AM, no kids, and I got home at 7 PM, plus two kids. What."

"Life comes at you fast," Buck says, though he forgot the movie it's from. "Are—"

"Am I okay with it? Yeah, for the 500th time today: yes. Yes." He rests his hands on both sides of Buck's face and kisses him. "Yes, absolutely yes."

Buck kisses him, too, then pulls away laughing. "Oh, wow, she's—Layla's a handful."

"You're already so in love with the six-year-old who took you hostage in your own station."

"She reminds me of you," Buck says, joking and not. She does, though. Those sharp edges, that tough shell to crack, the way she finally sidled up to Buck and let him take care of her—that's a Tommy girl, through and through.

As Buck understood it and relayed to Tommy, with help from the state adoption officials: Layla and Bailey had been orphaned close to a year ago and had no other living relatives, but they had yet to find a long-term family. People were scared off by Layla, and Bailey was (according to Layla) too sensitive for the temporary locations where they had already been placed.

Today happened because they had already met Buck before on a scene last week, when there was a small fire at the adoption center where Layla and Bailey were staying. Captain Reynolds had invited all the kids to Engine Co. 19 for a special visit and safety presentation, where they ran into Buck again.

"And Bailey remembered you?" Tommy asks.

"I think it's the tattoo on my arm. He spotted it and waved me down, then Layla recognized me."

"And then she disappeared with her toddler brother, you found them in Reynolds's office, and she took you hostage in your own station. Got it. And now they're our kids."

"And now they're our kids," Buck agrees.

Tommy nods and takes Buck's hand. "Our usual hardware store doesn't open until nine tomorrow, so I'm gonna drive to the big box store when they open at seven so I can get as much babyproofing and kid stuff as I can find. I'll come right back and I can make breakfast, as promised."

"Hey." Buck tucks his finger under Tommy's chin and turns his face to him. "Thanks for following my lead. For—for this."

"Are you kidding? Bypass the whole waiting process and get two kids dropped right in our laps? It could only happen to you. I'm just lucky I'm here."

"I'm lucky you're here," Buck says, kissing him again.

"Alright, if you insist."

Buck laughs against his mouth and kisses Tommy again, lost in the kiss until his phone is in his hand and he can start making a list of supplies Tommy will be picking up before breakfast tomorrow. "Eyes down here, Kinard," Buck says, waving his phone, but Tommy has to sneak one more kiss before focusing on the first of their many, many checklists.

#911 fic #bucktommy #bucktommy fic #tevan #tevan fic #evan buckley #tommy kinard

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sweaters-and-silly · 2 days ago

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From the prompt list: “Breathe. Hi, we found you, just breathe for me, okay?”, please? Thanks in advance!

👀 it's gotta be injured Tommy + worried Buck to the rescue.. send me a prompt or two..

Tommy's awoken by turbulance, jostled in his seat from external forces, except..

It can't be turbulance. He can't be in the air. He's a decent pilot but he can't sleep and fly at the same time. The last thing he remembers was flying over downtown L.A, Lucy saying something about windsurfing, before—

A metallic banging snags his attention, his head throbbing and neck protesting as he tries to turn towards the sound.

The whir and grind of tools, muffled voices yelling— and then a great groaning sound and— bright lights blind his already poor vision, the voices are louder. There's a flurry of activity around him, the hurried capability of professionals doing their job, cautious touches to his body, inspection of his seat. Someone moves behind him, probably to get to Lucy—

"—Tommy?"

"..'van?.." His eyes are screwed shut against the torchlight but he'd know that voice anywhere.

"Tommy!"

"..Y're here.."

"Yeah, yeah I-I'm here— we're here, we got you— we're gonna get you out, okay? Just— just stay with me."

The other voices filter in and out of his awareness. He zeroes in on Evan: he's close, right by Tommy's ear, voice strained but beautiful. He hasn't heard that voice since..

Since Bobby's funeral. Since that night everything went to hell. Since the morning after they..

It's been too long. There's been too much complication and hurt. He misses hearing Evan's voice happy and unburdened. He doesn't want to add to his worry or stress.

As he shifts to try to move— pain lances through his side.

"Woah, woah, easy Tommy," Howie says. He must be the one evaluating Tommy's condition. Which mustn't be great, considering the pain.

"Just hold still," Evan says in his ear, voice wobbly. His hands— they must be Evan's hands— are braced on his shoulders, holding him steady.

He's missed those hands, strong and capable and eager. He'd do a lot to hear that voice again, feel Evan's touch again. Like stealing another helicopter, or..

..crashing one?

"Try not to move, just breathe for me, o-okay?"

Nodding seems like a bad idea and requires too much energy anyway— and he's so very tired —so he settles for humming in the affirmative and focusing on the grounding, heavy warmth of Evan's hands on him.

Lucy groans off to his left, reminding Tommy he's not the only one who's fucked up right now. "..Luce?.."

"..Wha' h'appen'd?.."

Good question.

"Civilian drone," says Howie.

An attack? It's not unheard of, people tend to target police helicopters but from far away it's hard to tell what's LAFD unless you know.

"Dumbass was tryin' to get an aerial shot for his stupid ass zombie movie," says Hen, condescending as hell.

Tommy's missed her, too. And Howie. All of them. He misses Evan's people, his old friends, misses being in their orbit almost as much as he misses Evan.

"Oh m' god— w're gonn' be in a zombie movie, T'mmy!" Lucy snickers as Hen chides her to hold still.

A laugh bubbles out of him, ending on a groan as another flare of pain shoots through him like a lightning bolt. Evan's hands grip him tighter.

"Chim—"

"Buck, just keep him steady— Ravi, get in here with that saw—"

Through slitted eyes, Tommy glimpses a long, metallic shard protruding from his midsection. So that explains the pain. As Ravi takes the saw to the metal, Howie and Evan hold him down.

Just before he blacks out, Tommy could swear he feels lips press to his temple, firm and desperate.

+ + +

There's murmurs and hushed conversation, but it's Hen's voice saying, "He's stable," that are the first clear words Tommy hears as he gradually resurfaces from unconsciousness.

The pain has subsided to a dull ache. He's comfortable, horizontal, and there's the telltale sign of a heart monitor beeping quietly nearby.

He's in a hospital bed. His hand is clasped between two strong, warm hands. Familiar hands. Hands clutching at Tommy like his only tether to this world.

Hen's a great medic, Tommy trusts her assessment, so if Evan was worried about him slipping away it sounds like he doesn't need to anymore. Not that he deserves Evan's concern, but he could probably let go of Tommy's hand now.

Tommy doesn't want Evan to let go. He squeezes Evan's hand.

"'m not a fan of deathbed confessions, just for the record," he says, voice low and raw.

"You're not dying," three voices say at once. A smile tugs at the corner of Tommy's mouth. Howie and Hen sound a little exasperated, but fond. A hint of humour colors the latent urgency in Evan's voice.

Tommy blinks his eyes open to find Evan smiling, tentative and gorgeous, blue eyes big and red-rimmed, brow unfurrowing as tension sloughs from his shoulders on a sigh, his messy curls limned by the morning sun. Evan could put the brightness of the sun to shame even when he looks exhausted.

"m' sorry, 'bout us. I shouldn'.. shouldn'..ve.. left." His brain is still a little foggy, words coming a little slow, but he can't wait for it to catch up. He needs to say this now, needs Evan to know.

And he'd forgive Evan for asking: which time? because he'd deserve the jab for being a coward more than once, for not fighting for them.

"No— I'm sorry," Evan says instead. "I didn't mean to push you away, and I-I should've reached out sooner."

Why didn't you? Tommy doesn't say, because he's not sure he wants to know the answer. But he knows for certain that Evan has been grieving Bobby's death and so doesn't blame him for their lack of correspondance following the funeral. It's a two-way street, Tommy could have picked up the phone but he didn't. Maybe he was giving Evan space after everything or maybe he was using circumstance as a scapegoat so he could stay couched in his own fears.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," Evan says, eyes shining, brow furrowed.

Tommy squeezes his hand again and manages a small, sad smile. "M' neither." He wants to pull Evan in, hold him close, beg for another chance, promise to never run away again. But he doesn't know if it's welcome, and he doesn't know if he can trust himself anyway. He'd want to, for Evan. He'd do his damndest to not screw this up a third time, to stay despite his fears.

Evan adjusts his grip, strokes a thumb reverently over the back of Tommy's hand. "I've missed you."

Tommy's heart flutters. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. You were open and honest with me that night, and I-I should've said this then— I wanted to tell you, but I-I needed— and then I—" Evan shakes his head, clearing it to refocus. "In the helicopter, I decided. Afterwards, I was gonna ask if we could talk, but.."

Tommy squeezes his hand.

"Everything's been so messed up, Tommy," he starts again, "for so long—" He pauses to take a steadying breath, "I don't wanna lose you. I wanna fix this— us— because I miss you, and.. I love you." His hands cradle Tommy's. "I love you."

The second I love you — and Tommy's head spins at the words — seems to settle something in Evan. Tommy's heart is soaring. His eyes are welling up, voice cracking as he says, "Yeah?" lips twitching up.

Evan nods. "Yeah."

"Well, then.. y'should know I love you, too."

Evan breaks into a watery grin. "Yeah?"

Tommy blinks, a tear tracking down to his hairline as his own smile breaks free. "Yeah."

It's just the two of them, hand in hand and laying their hearts out on Tommy's hospital bed.

"Thought you weren't one for deathbed confessions," Howie chimes in.

Tommy totally forgot he was there. Hen tsks and half-heartedly whacks his shoulder as she and Evan both say, Evan chuckling now, "He's not dying."

Hen's eyes are glistening and she's trying to hold back a smile. Howie looks touched, too.

"Hey," Tommy tugs on Evan's hand. "What're y'doing Saturday?"

Evan laughs and ducks his head. "Uh. Today is Saturday."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. And I, uh." Evan threads their fingers together. "I was hoping to spend the day with my boyfriend."

Tommy beams. "Lucky guy."

"Yeah, I am." Evan's smile turns soft and intimate.

Tommy adores him.

Buck blinks in surprise.

"Did I just say that out loud?"

"Uh-huh," Hen and Chim pipe up in unison, but Tommy only has eyes for Evan.

"S'true," he says, knowing he'll say the words again with intention and feel just as content in having them known.

"I'm kinda crazy about you. Hope that's okay?"

Tommy was lucky enough to glimpse a bit of Evan's crazy during their first try at this. The thought of being the focus of that intense emotional spectrum makes him giddy. "I like y'r crazy."

"You two are sickeningly adorable," says Howie.

Tommy lowers his voice to a stage whisper. "Wan' make out in front of th' peanut gall'ry?"

Evan laughs, the sun flaring above the city skyline behind him nothing compared to his light. "Yes, yes I do."

"So this is the thanks I get for saving your life, huh?" Howie balks.

"Ravi handled the saw with expert precision, I gotta say," Evan tells him.

"R'mind me t'.. send him.. muff'n bask't.." The exhaustion is creeping back in, trying to pull him under.

"Buck's got you covered on the baked goods front," Hen adds.

"..Hmh?" His eyelids are heavy as he blinks in slow motion, trying to focus as his brain slows down again, urging him to rest.

"Just, uh. Some of my crazy," Evan admits, a shy note in his voice.

"Hm.. g'd.." Tommy hums happily as his eyes lose the battle to stay open.

There's whispered voices around him as his breathing deepens and evens out.

"Call us if either of you need anything, Buck."

"I will. Thanks, guys."

There's footsteps and rustling. A dip in the bed and a warm solid presence at his hip. Evan takes the hand covering Tommy's to brush back some wayward curls from his forehead.

Evan likes his curls. He said it more than once, but it was his hands and even his eyes more than his words that clued Tommy in.

Plush, bitten lips press a lingering kiss to his brow, Evan's hand cradling Tommy's skull, thumb scritching against his scalp.

"Get some rest," Evan murmurs between them, the gentle pressure and comforting warmth of his forehead pressed to Tommy's.

I love you, Tommy thinks, and a warm puff of air ghosts over his lips.

There's a smile in Evan's voice when he says, "Love you, too."

Tommy surrenders to sleep, his last nebulous thought being that he can't wait to wake up to this.

#bucktommy #tevan #buck and tommy

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sweaters-and-silly · 3 days ago

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This has been sitting in my drafts for a long time but it was a random crash that copter thought lol

Helicopter crash but the 118 finds Tommy and Buck is hovering over Chim while he’s trying to treat Tommy.

“Uh…w-what are you doing now?” Buck worriedly interrogated.

“…Checking his blood pressure. Is that okay?” Chimney deadpanned.

Buck nodded as Tommy weakly squeezed his hand.

“Let him work, Evan. I trust Howie.” He softly requested.

“I do too. I just—I was so worried about you.”

“I know.”

“Pulse is elevated, BP is borderline hypertensive, pupils are dilated.”

Buck’s eyes widened as he watched Chimney take out a syringe. “Ha-hang on, what is that?”

“Morphine. For the pain.”

“Wait—Tommy doesn’t really like needles.” He looked down at Tommy. “Just focus on me okay? You can squeeze my hand if you need to.”

Tommy gave a weak nod. Chimney scoffed as he administered the morphine.

“Ive had my fair share of backseat paramedics, but you, by far, are the worst.”

“C’mon, Chim. Tommy’s the love of my life.”

“I am?”

Buck realized he hadn’t even told Tommy he loved him in the first place.

“Yeah. When I heard your helicopter went down I-I was a mess. And-and all I could think about was spending more time with you. How it hasn’t been enough and how…much I love you.” Buck smiled.

Tommy quietly chuckled. “I love you too. thank you for not giving up on me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Alright, lover boy, let Tommy rest.” Chimney ordered. “Hen, what’s our ETA?”

“5 minutes.”

“Can you let him rest for five minutes?” Chimney asked Buck.

Buck screwed his mouth to the side and reluctantly nodded. “Yeah.”

Tommy slowly drifted to sleep and Buck couldn’t keep his eyes—or hands off of him.

He caressed his bandaged cheek, combed his fingers through Tommy’s hair, swiped his thumb across Tommy’s brow—

“Hey!” Buck loudly whispered when Chimney swatted his hand away.

“Hands off my patient.” He warned adamantly. “Let him rest.”

Buck huffed, crossing his arms and leaning back.

Chimney continued to monitor Tommy’s vitals as Buck looked on.

“I know how you feel, Buck. In more ways than one. You see, after I saved Tommy’s life, we formed a bond. No matter how far, or how long we didn’t talk, we’d always show up for each other. But I also understand what it’s like to worry about the love of your life.” Chimney smiled. “He’s gonna be fine. You have the rest of your lives together.”

Buck wanted to believe that was true. But until Tommy was discharged from the hospital, he knew he wouldn’t be able to rest easily.

#bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #chimney han #tevan #buck x tommy #tevan ficlet

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sweaters-and-silly · 3 days ago

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I posted Where The Smoke Settles on AO3 in the dead of night. I fell asleep reading @paperyowl works of art. And somehow this one decided to crawl out of my drafts.

So, anyways it’s live now.

Chapter One

#911 fanfic #salbucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #sal deluca #9 1 1 fanfiction #bucktommy #tevan #tevan fic #911 pre canon

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sweaters-and-silly · 4 days ago

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Part 7: Fault Lines

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6.A - Part 6.B

Content Warnings: Gerrard

Homophobia, PTSD, Military Trauma, Emotional Abuse, Verbal Harassment, Bigotry / Slurs, Power Imbalance / Abuse of Authority, Psychological Manipulation

Idea: This is pre-canon, slow-burn AU, Buck arrives at Station 118, ruled by Captain Gerrard. Tommy/Buck/Sal.

—-

The engine hissed as it rolled into the bay, the weight of a long shift settling into the cracked concrete. Buck jumped down before it had fully stopped, already moving to drain the hose line, gloves still damp from the last call.

Behind him, the slam of metal on metal echoed harder than necessary. Sal tossed his crowbar onto the rig’s side rack without a word.

“Probie,” Sal said flatly, not looking at him. “Check the gear. Make sure we’re prepped for the next run before you clean up.” Not an unusual order. Routine, even. But the tone was off. Too sharp around the edges.

Buck didn’t flinch, but he felt it. The space that hadn’t been there last week. Before the kitchen. Before he’d turned the corner with damp hair and bare feet and caught the shape of something that wasn’t his to see. Sal’s hand wrapped around Tommy’s wrist, Tommy’s forehead resting soft against Sal’s.

He just sidestepped, eyes on the tile.

They hadn’t talked since. Not really.

Sal was back to using Probie like a wall. Tommy keeping his distance during drills. A hair too much formality in his voice. His gaze quick to slide off him, like Buck might say something.

Now, Buck could only nod. Quick. Quiet. No pushback.“Yes, sir.”

He moved fast, shoulders set, heading for the rig like it might give him something solid to hold on to. Something that wouldn’t pull away.

“Still here?” Gerrard’s voice came low, behind his shoulder. “Figured someone like you would’ve found a way to slide out early. Let the real men handle the job.”

Buck didn’t flinch. Just kept working.

“You know,” Gerrard continued, stepping in closer, voice too casual, “I took a look at your file again. Reads like a goddamn recruitment ad. Sparkling clean. Suspiciously clean. But that’s the thing about clean records, they don’t always mean clean pasts.”

Buck’s hands stilled over the last coupling.

Gerrard smiled. “Made a few calls. Asked around Coronado. Not officially, of course. But you’d be surprised what an old friend will remember. Especially when you give ‘em a name like Buckley. Doesn’t exactly fade into the crowd.”

There was a silence that stretched. Buck’s chest tightened.

“One of them said something about you and a teammate. Julian, I think it was.” Gerrard clicked his tongue. “Shame he didn’t make it back.”

The sound of his name Julian hit like a brick to the sternum. The ground beneath him wasn’t concrete anymore. It was sand. Dry. Metallic with blood. Julian laughing with half a lung and a broken rib, voice rasping with pain, brown eyes locked on Buck’s, lips speckled with blood.

“Say his name again,” Buck said, voice low and steel-cut. “But this time, put some fucking respect in your voice Captain.”

Gerrard blinked. Not at the volume there wasn’t any but at the ice behind it. At the way Buck stood now. How his posture had shifted, going still and controlled, like someone who’d learned how to breathe in chaos.

“He died saving six men,” Buck said quietly. “He was the best of us. And you don’t get to drag his name through your shit.”

For a beat, Gerrard didn’t speak. Then his smile sharpened into something meaner. “Touched a nerve,” he said, softer now. “That’s the thing about quiet probies. You think they’ve got nothing to hide, but then the mask slips.”

He stepped in close. “Just be careful. The department’s got a long memory. And so does the city. You start acting too familiar with the wrong people, and folks will start asking if the rumors followed you home.”

Buck didn’t move.

Gerrard leaned in. “You want to suck cock, that’s your business. But don’t go making it mine. This house doesn’t bend for that kind of moral corruption. And you’re still on probation. You’re lucky your lifestyle isn’t a fireable offense anymore.”

Then he stepped back, slow and smug, like he’d scored something. He walked away like a man who thought he’d won.

Buck stood there, jaw tight, throat locked. He reached for the last hose loop, fingers trembling as he finished the task.

Then he showered in the dark, water too hot, steam curling like ghosts around him. His ribs ached. The scars on his wrists felt tighter than usual.

The name rang in his ears, over and over again. For the first time in months, he allowed his mind to drift back to Julian’s easy laugh, the way he’d wink like they were invincible, even while bleeding out in Buck’s hands.

And when the memory came blood, sand, the way Julian had smiled that stupid breathless grin at the end he punched the tile. Once, twice. Just hard enough to remind himself that he was still here.

Buck stepped into the kitchen still toweling off his hair, compression shirt clinging to damp skin. The back of his neck was flushed pink from the too-hot shower, and his eyes scanned the table as he crossed to the fridge. Chimney was already elbow-deep in tacos. Hen stood at the counter slicing limes with practiced ease. Sal was halfway through a plate, one arm slung over the back of his chair.

Tommy looked up from his phone, gaze flicking over Buck briefly. Something in his shoulders eased.

“Probie,” Chimney called with a grin. “We’re down two tacos and a story. Get over here.”

Buck slid into the empty seat beside Tommy, who passed him a plate without a word. He offered a faint smile in return, grateful for the normalcy.

Chimney leaned back with a groan, biting into his taco. “So, Sal. What’d you end up doing last night?”

Sal wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and reached for the salsa. “Gina dragged me to that vampire movie.”

Tommy looked up, one brow arched. “Seriously?”

“Sparkles and teenage angst, the whole shebang,” Sal added, unbothered.

Hen snorted. “Oh no. Twilight?”

Sal gave a mock-shrug. “Wasn’t half bad. Couldn’t really tell you what the hell was going on, but that Kristen Stewart.” He whistled low and appreciative, then tossed another taco onto his plate.

“I don’t get the appeal,” Tommy said, squinting across the table. “She’s too... broody. Too—”

“What, hot?” Sal smirked, the edge in his grin sharp enough to slice. “Maybe you’re more of a Team Jacob guy.”

Tommy’s jaw clenched. A pulse of warning behind his eyes. Sal just kept eating, like he hadn’t just lobbed a grenade under the table.

Across from them, Buck clocked it, the twitch in Tommy’s shoulder, Gerrard’s head beginning to tilt with interest.

So Buck leaned forward, eyes wide with mock confusion. “Wait, what’s Team Jacob? Is this like… Buffy?”

Chimney barked out a laugh, mouth full. “He’s saying Tommy’s gay.”

That earned a round of snorts. Tommy blew out a breath and rolled his eyes as he flipped Sal off, and blew him an exaggerated kiss. Sal grinned back.

“Easy, boys,” Gerrard warned from the corner, not looking up from his spreadsheets.

The laughter quieted but didn’t die completely. Forks scraped plates, someone opened a soda with a sharp hiss. Buck leaned forward to grab a taco, head ducked as he reached across Tommy’s arm.

Gerrard spoke again, voice low and just loud enough to carry. “Funny thing,” he said, pen tapping against the edge of his clipboard. “Used to be, you could tell what kind of man someone was by how he took a joke.”

He didn’t look up. “But I guess things are different now,” he went on, voice mild almost nostalgic. “You so much as elbow the wrong boot too hard, and next thing you know, you’re getting HR memos about pronouns and private showers. I don’t know what’s happening to this firehouse but I don’t like it.”

Hen’s knife paused mid-slice, her jaw tightens as her back stiffened.

Chimney stopped chewing, eyes cutting across the table.

Sal’s jaw tightened, eyes narrowing as Tommy looked up slowly from his plate.

Buck took another bite, chewed slowly, jaw working like stone under pressure. His eyes stayed on his plate.

Gerrard finally lifted his gaze. Let it sweep the table, lazy. Didn’t land on Buck. Didn’t need to. “Boot,” he said, almost an afterthought. “Hope the fellas aren’t making you feel too... seen. Some of these inside jokes go back years. Takes a certain kind of man to roll with it.”

Tommy turned his head just enough to catch Buck’s profile. He opened his mouth.

But Sal beat him to it. “Hen,” He said, sharp and clean. “You're on med check with Chim. Cobb, you’ve got inventory. Allen, you’re scrubbing the back bay. Rodric, kitchen. Tommy, truck inspection. Buck’s with you.”

Chairs scraped. Chim stood first, tossing his napkin on the plate. “You got it, Lieutenant.”

Hen wiped her hands slowly, set down the lime with surgical precision. “Sure thing.”

Rodric groaned under his breath. “Why do I always get…”

“Because you always complain like a little bitch.” Sal said without heat, not sparing him a glance.

The kitchen emptied, Tommy rose last, eyes flicking once more to Gerrard, who had returned to his paperwork like none of it mattered.

Sal finally looked up. Met Tommy’s gaze across the table.

Don’t

It wasn’t spoken. Didn’t need to be. It was in the set of his jaw, the slight flare of his nostrils. The message was clear: Don’t give Gerrard more ammunition. Don’t throw the punch I’ll have to cover.

Tommy didn’t nod. But he didn’t argue, he turned toward Buck. “Let’s roll, Hershey.”

Buck stood, and followed Tommy out without a word, his full plate left behind.

Sal remained seated. Let the hum of the firehouse settle again. He waited until the sound of boots faded, until he was alone with Gerrard’s low pen scratch and the clink of a ceramic mug.

The call came just after lunch.

False alarm. Small stovetop flare-up in a two-story duplex. Smoke contained before arrival. Hen and Buck cleared the kitchen while Tommy and Chim ran a check on the basement electrical.

Sal handled the report while Gerrard lingered near the front porch, charm turned up half a notch as he chatted up the older couple who’d called it in, two women in their sixties, one with a cropped white buzzcut and a Veterans hat, the other in worn jeans and a well-loved Dodgers hoodie.

They were polite. Grateful. Offered lemonade, even.

Buck caught the way Rodric rolled his eyes when he passed them. How Allen snorted under his breath as he climbed back onto the truck.

By the time they pulled back into the bay, the jokes had started.

“Did you see the kitchen?” Allen said, laughing as he popped the rig’s side compartment. “All those cat magnets and no real man in sight.”

Rodric chuckled. “I bet that’s what started the fire, too much friction.” Gerrard didn’t correct them. Just smirked and sipped from his ever-present mug.

Buck started wiping down the hose couplings. He could hear Hen in the back of the rig, reorganizing med packs, quiet.

Allen leaned against the bumper, voice pitching up in a mock lilt. “‘Oh no, honey, I don’t need no man just my rescue cats and my lady’s homemade chili.’”

Rodric fake-swooned, grabbing at his own chest. “God, Lois.”

Buck stopped wiping.

“Jesus,” Allen said, laughing harder. “What do you think, Boot? That your future?”

He didn’t mean that future. He meant any future. Anywhere Buck belonged. Anywhere he was allowed to belong.

Hen’s steps stilled behind him. Buck didn’t have to look, he could feel it. How she froze, hands hovering near the kit she’d been restocking, head ducked like she wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of a reaction. But her eyes...

God.

Her eyes were tired.

Something cracked. Buck turned, towel still in hand, “You know,” he said, “if homophobia’s a medical condition, I think I’ve finally found the cure for you boys.”

Rodric blinked. “What?”

Buck stepped forward, not much, just enough to make Allen stiffen. “Try sucking my dick,” Buck said, eyes sharp and cold. “I hear exposure therapy works wonders.”

The silence washed over the room as Hen inhaled, sharp. Sal rounded the corner fast, toolbox still in hand, eyes darting to Buck. Eyes wide.

Gerrard straightened, mug halfway to his mouth.

Rodric looked like he’d been slapped. Allen flushed deep red. “The fuck did you just say to me?”

Buck didn’t blink. “Need me to draw a diagram?”

Gerrard’s voice cut in, low and dangerous. “Buckley. My office. Now.”

He stepped back. Shoulders still squared, his chest still burning. He turned without remorse and walked toward the captain’s office.

Sal didn’t speak. Just watched the retreating line of Buck’s back for a moment before he turned to Allen. “Rodric, Allen,” he said. “Latrines. Now. Use a fucking toothbrush.”

Allen opened his mouth to protest.

Sal didn’t raise his voice. “Make a sound, and you’ll be on leave so long your gear will mold.”

Allen slammed the compartment shut and stormed off. Rodric followed, not even trying to defend himself.

The office door slammed behind them.

Gerrard didn’t sit.

Buck stood across the desk, posture like a steel rod down his spine, expression flat, eyes distant.

“You crossed the line,” Gerrard said. “And I don’t mean some HR checkbox bullshit. I mean insubordination, public lewdness, threatening language in front of another officer.”

Buck didn’t move, but the tremor in his left hand betrayed him. He tucked it behind his back before it could be seen.

“No threat,” Buck said coolly. “Just a suggestion.”

Gerrard’s face darkened. “You think your smartass mouth’s gonna get you anywhere? You’re lucky I don’t have your badge pulled tonight.”

Buck didn’t flinch. “Then do it.” His hands were behind his back, but his fingers twitched. “Fill your complaint. I’ll take it to the Chief.”

“What?”

“If you’re gonna bury me, Captain, don’t waste time barking. Put it in writing.”

That pulled Gerrard up short. The door opened without knocking. Sal stepped inside like he owned the space, calm and measured. He closed the door behind him, slow and deliberate.

“Sir,” he said, eyes on Gerrard. “Before you file anything, I want it on record that Allen and Rodric were engaged in conduct unbecoming. Insubordination. Sexually inappropriate jokes in front of civilians. I witnessed the aftermath.”

Gerrard’s eyes narrowed. “You defending him?”

“I’m documenting what I saw,” Sal said smoothly. “And what I saw was Allen mocking a homeowner. Again. This time in front of Hen, who was on duty, trying not to escalate. Buckley stepped in when no one else did.”

“He told another firefighter to…”

“I heard what he said,” Sal cut in. “And I know why he said it.”

Gerrard’s lip curled. “You really want to cover for this waste of a Boot, fine. But when the city calls for discipline, don’t expect me to lie for him.”

“No one’s asking you to lie,” Sal said, voice cool. “Just asking you to hold the right people accountable.”

Gerrard stepped closer, voice lower now. “You keep shielding him, Deluca, people are gonna start wondering why.”

Sal didn’t blink. “Let them.”

There was a long silence. Thick enough to choke on. Buck eyes darting between the two mean, his left wrist trembling behind his back as his right hand squeezed the paracord survival bracelet he never took off.

Gerrard’s stare slid to Buck. “Get out.”

Buck didn’t move at first. His gaze flicked to Sal, uncertain.

Sal didn’t look at him. The bite in his voice dulled, traded for something quieter, colder, heavy with disappointment. “Go. That’s an order, before I have to write you up for insubordination.”

Buck didn’t speak. Just gave a stiff nod, eyes fixed somewhere over Sal’s shoulder like it hurt to look directly at him.

The moment the door clicked shut, Gerrard rounded on Sal. “You undermined my command.”

“I enforced the chain of it,” Sal said. “And I backed a firefighter who was defending a civilian under your watch.”

Gerrard barked a low laugh, dry and bitter. “That probie’s a liability. And you know it. You’ve known it since the minute he walked in here.”

“He’s got better instincts than half your boys. And more restraint than me right now.”

Gerrard’s mouth twisted. “You really want to go to bat for a kid who just offered his dick as diversity training?”

Sal didn’t rise to it. Didn’t even blink. “Rodric and Allen started it. On call, in uniform. Buck did not retaliate until we were back in the station.”

Gerrard opened a drawer, pulled out a blank disciplinary form, slapped it on the desk.

Sal didn’t flinch. “You file that,” he said calmly, “and I file mine. With three statements and Hen’s full report. You want the city to sort it out? Fine. But don’t be surprised when the story doesn’t land the way you think.”

Gerrard stared at him. Then pushed the form back into the drawer without saying a word.

Sal stood for a moment longer, like he was waiting to see if Gerrard would try again.

He didn’t.

When Sal stepped out of the office, he found Buck leaning against the wall near the gear room, waiting, jaw tight, eyes straight ahead.

“You’re not suspended,” Sal said. “Yet.”

Buck dragged his eyes up from the floor his shoulders still tense.

Sal exhaled through his nose. “Next time you want to use your mouth like a battering ram, give me a second’s warning. I’ll clear the path.” He started to walk past, then paused. Tilted his head toward the bay. “You’ll partner with Hen the rest of the shift,” he added. “Chimney and Tommy can talk monster trucks and craft beer.”

Buck blinked, stomach dropping as hurt coiled around his scars. “That a punishment?” he asked quietly.

Sal gave a humorless smirk. “That’s a lifeline, Hershey. Take it.” He didn’t wait for a reply. Just turned and walked off, already calling out assignments to the rest of the crew like nothing had happened. Like he hadn’t just carved out a safe lane for Tommy and quietly nudged Buck out of it.

A lifeline.

Not an apology. Not protection.

He understood it. Didn’t mean it didn’t sting.

#salbucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #sal deluca #saltommy #911 fanfic #9 1 1 fanfiction #bucktommy #911 abc #tevan

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sweaters-and-silly · 4 days ago

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Through The Darkness To The Dawn (BuckTommy) - 8/8

Notes: Yes, you did see that this was originally two parts. Well, after 8x18 I really wanted to continue it. Summary has been updated and I hope you guys like it.

Title comes from Nobody Knows by The Lumineers.

Summary: S8 finale fix it fic. Buck is grieving, Eddie is the worst, and Tommy is the soft place that Buck needs to deal with it all.

Words: 6.6k

Read on Ao3

Part One - Part Two

Part Three - Part Four

Part Five - Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight: You Don't Have To Be Sorry For Leaving And Growing Up

Ravi was absolutely godsend and showed up with packing tape, coffee, and helpfully a truck that apparently wasn’t his.

That morning, Evan had woken up determined, as if either of them had managed more than four hours of sleep between the two and a half rounds of sex. The slow first start where they had taken their time to reconnect and map out each other’s bodies to find if anything had changed in their time apart. Finding new scars and bruises that had stories they hadn’t been a part of. It was wildly different than the night at the bar where hunger for each other had ruled the night. For Tommy, it had dawned that neither of them had been secure in knowing there would ever be anything more afterwards and they hadn’t really been wrong. This time was different. This time they could take their time and then be more desperate and rougher on round two. This time, falling asleep naked and their limbs all tangled didn’t leave their minds reeling trying to figure out what would happen in the morning.

Evan woke early and he had half a plan formed before they had even gotten out of bed. There were phone calls. Ravi first. Chim second. A text to Eddie.

Tommy focused on making them breakfast so they had something in their stomachs to give them the energy for Evan’s plans. Then, they cleared out some space in Tommy’s garage and the next thing Tommy knew they were driving to Eddie’s house. Tommy just hoped that Eddie’s “okay” in return to Evan asking him to stay away from the house actually resulted in Eddie not being there.

The last thing Evan needed was to see Eddie. As it turned out, Eddie had done as asked. There was no one there when they arrived, not even a trace that Eddie had been there.

The last time Tommy had been at that house, there had also been boxes stacked up everywhere in all the empty space. It was stranger to see boxes and also Evan’s stuff like it only half belonged there. His couch. His table. His bed. His dresser. All the parts of Evan’s life without a home. Tommy wanted to provide that home.

Ravi arrived a few minutes after Tommy had taken a walk around the place. He placed the coffee on the dining room table and wiggled his keys at them.

“Borrowed a truck, thought that would make this faster. Where do we start?” Ravi asked.

Tommy took a few gulps of the coffee Ravi handed him and looked to Evan who was frowning at the boxes that Eddie had packed up.

A knock on the open door made them turn and then Chim appeared. “Oh, how early did you guys get here? Looks like you’re almost packed up, Buckaroo.”

“I didn’t pack any of those,” Evan said.

Tommy knew that Evan was itching to repack everything in the boxes and Tommy didn’t blame him. He hadn’t had to move anywhere in ages, but he’d helped more than enough people to know how stressful it was and Eddie had made this so much worse. It was one thing to pack up your own stuff unlabeled and something else to do it with someone else’s things.

“Uh, who did?” Ravi asked, carefully.

“Eddie,” Evan said practically through gritted teeth and then he turned and walked to the kitchen. They heard a cabinet open with a bang.

Tommy felt Ravi and Chim’s eyes go to him. A few more bangs came from the kitchen.

“Eddie started packing Evan up before he told him he was taking the house back,” Tommy said.

Chim winced.

“Wow,” Ravi said. “Now I get why he wants to move out so quickly.”

“Yeah,” Tommy said.

Chim clapped his hands together. “Alright. Where should we get started?”

“And where are we taking everything?” Ravi asked. “I’m guessing he doesn’t have another place lined up already.”

Tommy felt their eyes on him again. “My house,” he said.

Ravi shrugged. “Sure. Cool. I only have my buddy’s truck until three so we can start with some of the bigger stuff and maybe do a few trips.”

“Your house,” Chim said.

“Until I can find a new place,” Evan said, coming out of the kitchen. “I’m not moving in.”

Tommy didn’t think he would have minded if Evan did move in, but it did feel kind of fast, and Evan had been insisting every time it came up that he wasn’t moving in. Of course just the night before they had been talking about marriage which was a little crazy. So, maybe a part of him hoped that Evan didn’t find an apartment that he liked or that was in his budget and that eventually they could talk about it again and Tommy could just ask him to stay. Evan had told him about how quickly Bobby and Athena had done things after they got together and it had scared him a bit to think about rushing into things, but somehow with Evan it felt right. He wasn’t any less scared, he was just sure that being scared was worth it.

Chim eyed him with some suspicion as if he could tell what Tommy was thinking, but Tommy just shrugged, and Chim seemed to decide that he was better off not asking questions. He was sure that once Maddie was filled in she would have questions to ask Evan.

“Come on,” Tommy said to Ravi, “we can get the couch out and onto your truck.”

Between him and Ravi they moved most of Evan’s living room furniture out and onto the truck. Tommy was a little amazed by how much stuff Evan had. A lot of it he remembered from the loft, but he must have picked up a few more things to fill up the house. Evan really had expected to stay there a while, he realized.

“How long did it take him to move in here?” He wondered out loud.

Ravi shrugged. “I wasn’t really around for that.”

“I hired movers,” Evan said, walking past holding one of his bedside tables.

“No one helped you move,” Tommy said.

Evan put the bedside table in Tommy’s truck and he shrugged his shoulders. “It was just easier to get movers.”

Tommy wondered if anyone had helped Eddie? Evan, probably, but what about the others?

Evan placed a hand on Tommy’s arm as if to stop him from going too far down that rabbit hole. His hand moved up and down over his forearm.

“Remember, my sister had just been kidnapped,” Evan said. “There was a lot going on and I really didn’t have that much stuff. I packed it all up in a couple of days and then the movers brought most of it over. Took me ages to unpack, remember? Anyway, everyone seems to be here today.”

Hen and Karen were walking up. Evan hadn’t even called Hen that morning. Tommy was reminded of how just a few days earlier he’d sort of told Hen off a bit. He hoped she wasn’t going to hold a grudge against him, but if she did then that was on her and not on him. If there was one thing that Tommy would always do, it was have Evan’s back.

Talking to Evan the day before about Eddie had made him so aware of how wrong even Tommy had understood their friendship.

“I heard someone was moving out,” Hen said, hands on her hips.

“So we wanted to know if we could stop by and help,” Karen added. “We also wanted to share the good news.”

“Good news?” Evan asked.

“We officially have a date for Mara’s adoption,” Karen said and the giddy grin on her face was not going to go away anytime soon.

There were hugs and pats on the back and congratulations all around. Tommy was thrilled for them, he knew how difficult things had gotten when it came to Mara’s adoption and he was glad it was working out for them. It did remind Tommy that the last time he’d seen Mara — and for that matter, Denny — had been at Halloween. That felt like it had been ages ago. Tommy had felt so out of place in that hospital room even next to Evan.

“I’m glad it’s finally happening,” he said to Karen as they walked towards the house.

“You don’t even know how happy we are,” she said back.

There was something to be said about good news right after something tragic, because life just kept moving. Good things happened. Bad things happened. They all just had to keep going forward.

With the addition of Hen and Karen, Evan decided that he could repack the boxes Eddie had done. Karen got to work with him while the rest of them took the furniture out to Ravi’s friend’s truck as well as Tommy’s. Almost everything fit and all that was left was the last of the bedroom furniture. To fill up as much space as possible they added a few of the repacked boxes. They might be able to get the rest of Evan’s stuff on a second trip.

“I think we’ll make a trip over to the house now,” Tommy told Evan.

Ravi nodded. “I’ll follow you.”

Chim and Hen volunteered to go with them to move things along and so Tommy found himself climbing into his truck with Hen, Chim having gone with Ravi.

They’d made it down to the stop sign at the end of the street before Hen reached over to lower the volume on the radio. Tommy had turned it on mostly so there wasn’t just silence between them, but he’d also been expecting Hen to have questions.

“All I got from Chim was that Buck called him this morning to ask if he’d come help him move. I guess Eddie’s staying in LA?”

Tommy nodded.

“But why is Buck moving out so quickly? Does he even have a new place yet? What’s really happening here and where’s Eddie?”

A part of Tommy had definitely wondered if Eddie would go and talk to Hen or Chim about everything that happened and paint himself as the victim. Clearly, he actually hadn’t. It was as much of a surprise as it was that Hen and Karen had shown up to help Evan move. Evan had said something about not wanting to bother Hen so last minute, but Chim had called her and she showed up anyway.

“Evan texted him and told him he wanted him out of the house so he could move his stuff out,” Tommy said.

He didn’t have to look at Hen to know her eyebrows had shot up over the frame of her glasses. When she didn’t say anything, he knew it was an invitation for him to just keep going.

“When Evan went to the house yesterday, Eddie had already started packing his stuff,” Tommy told her.

Hen inhaled a breath audibly. “That’s why he’s repacking all those boxes.”

“Yup. Eddie kicked him out, Hen. Just assumed that Evan would be okay with finding somewhere to go on no notice at all. It doesn’t matter that he’s welcome at my house or that his sister would ask him to stay with her. Eddie doesn’t think, Hen, and the one that keeps getting the brunt of it is Evan.”

“I didn’t even know Eddie was staying,” Hen said. “Does he even have his job back?”

Tommy shrugged. He didn’t really care where Eddie would be, all he knew was that Eddie had made yet another decision for himself that affected Evan in a negative way. In a way that had had him shaking and crying when he arrived at Tommy’s the day before.

“I assume Chim’s speech yesterday gave the impression he’d be welcome back at the 118,” Tommy said.

“Yeah,” Hen said. “Might have inspired him to stay, for that matter. I just can’t believe he’d just pack up Buck’s stuff just like that.”

“Well, he did,” Tommy said. “Evan, uh, he said he yelled at Eddie about it.”

“I just can’t believe he’d do that to Buck,” Hen said.

“Well, it’s not like he was a good friend before any of this happened,” Tommy said. “I didn’t really realize it either, but it’s been lopsided for a while now.”

Tommy pulled his truck into the driveway in reverse and Ravi parked behind Buck’s car. Tommy still had to find some time to work on it.

“What happened to Buck’s car exactly?” Hen asked.

“Starter motor. I would have been working on that today, but anyway, that can wait.”

He heard Chim and Ravi walking up as he opened the garage. “We can just move everything in here for now,” he said.

“Wow,” Ravi said. “Nice place.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been here,” Hen said.

Tommy shrugged. “When I bought it, it needed a lot of work and then I transferred. We always met up at the bar in those days and then we stopped doing that when we all got busy.”

“Right,” Hen said. She looked a little lost in thought.

It was quick work getting everything off his truck. Tommy moved it when they were done so they could move Ravi’s friend’s truck closer. Between the four of them, it didn’t take long at all.

“Has, uh, Buck said anything about transferring?” Chim asked as Tommy led them inside the house.

“I don’t think he’s made a decision yet,” Tommy said. “Would it be a bad thing?”

Hen and Chim shared a look.

“No,” Hen said. “It just isn’t like Buck to want to leave the 118. He’s fought hard to stay and get to work at the 118. But we’re not going to stop him if that’s what he decides to do. Right, Chim?”

“Right,” Chim said.

Tommy was glad to hear that. He didn’t want Hen and Chim and whoever else they could get from the 118 to hold some kind of intervention that bullied Evan into staying at the 118 because Evan probably would if they asked him to.

“Why shouldn’t he?” Ravi asked.

Ravi was quickly becoming Tommy’s favorite member of the 118 outside of Evan even if Tommy didn’t know him all that well.

“Even if he ends up wanting to come back to the 118, why shouldn’t he go out and explore other stations and other parts of LAFD? Some time away could help him deal with Bobby being gone and all the ways that everything has changed,” Ravi finished. “We’re getting a new Captain soon and that’s just going to change things again.”

“He’ll never stop talking to you guys,” Tommy said, shooting Ravi a grateful smile. “But, and I say this because I really do admire the bonds all of you have, you guys can’t drop him either.”

“We won’t,” Hen said firmly.

Chim nodded along and then he got a little more serious. “What happened with him and Eddie? There is definitely something happening here, Tommy, don’t even deny it.”

Hen and Ravi looked at him expectantly and Tommy had to weigh out if he should tell them everything or if he should insist that Evan needed to. Except that Evan probably wouldn’t do that and marr the way that Hen and Chim and even Ravi viewed Eddie. Tommy was also pissed off enough at Eddie that he did want Hen and Chim and Ravi to know exactly who Eddie was and exactly how he’d torn Evan down in a time when he should have been supporting him instead. A part of him also did still think that Chim and Hen had dropped the ball on being there for Evan, but he could see that they were trying to make up for that.

So, he told them about Evan texting him one night and showing up cold and upset. How hard Evan had taken Bobby’s death and how alone he’d felt. He told them about what Evan had told him that night about the fight with Eddie and how it was the breaking point for him. They all listened without interrupting and he could tell that none of them were happy with what had happened, even the parts they had played in it. Tommy didn’t want to point a finger at them with blame, but he did want them to understand how they had played a part in it too.

“I thought when Eddie decided to stay after the funeral it was because he was worried about Buck,” Hen said. “Buck seemed…he seemed to be doing alright and maybe I wanted to just believe that was true because then I didn’t need to worry about him.”

“Not like I did any better,” Chim said. “Buck and I already talked about that a bit.”

“I just don’t get why he didn’t say anything,” Hen said. “Why he didn’t come to any of us to talk about it or—”

“Maybe because he didn’t want to put that on any of you,” Ravi said. “On any of us.”

Tommy nodded. It was exactly that. His selfless Evan who thought about everyone but himself in every situation.

“And then Eddie took it out on him,” Ravi said.

“That was before Eddie decided to stay and pack up Buck’s things without talking to him about it,” Hen said. “Wow.”

Tommy nodded again. He got them all water bottles from his fridge and took a large gulp from his own. It was what they had gone into the kitchen for in the first place.

“So he flew his kid out here as some sort of buffer so that Buck would just know that Eddie felt bad for messing up?” Ravi asked. “What is wrong with him?”

“Grief,” Hen said.

“Everything,” Tommy said at the same time.

When they looked at him, Tommy lifted his hands. “I think I’m allowed to dislike the guy that’s made my guy feel worse than he already does after losing his father figure.”

“Your guy?” Hen asked.

Tommy allowed himself a smile. Evan was his guy. His man. His. Just his.

“Yes,” he said. “My guy.”

Hen gave him a smile that almost looked like a smirk. “So, you’re definitely back together then.”

“And moving in,” Chim added.

“Not moving in. He’s just staying until he finds a new place,” Tommy insisted.

“Right,” Hen said.

“I unfortunately do not have any openings at my apartment building,” Ravi said. “I do have a good lawyer I could recommend.”

Tommy didn’t even know if he wanted to know how Ravi had come to own an apartment building. Wasn’t he in his twenties? And if he had rent money coming in, why was he even bothering to work? Those were things he didn’t really want answers to.

“Why would anyone need a lawyer?” Hen asked.

“Well, kicking out a subletter is illegal and if Buck wanted to pursue it in housing court, he’d win,” Ravi said. “Just saying.”

Except that Evan would never take that route, nevermind that he’d sued the LAFD and Bobby some years back. This was different and no matter what kind of friend Eddie was, at the very least Evan wouldn’t do that to Christopher.

“I don’t think he’ll take you up on the lawyer,” Tommy said.

“Too bad,” Ravi said.

When they got back to Eddie’s house, Evan was piling boxes up right outside the house. They had clearly finished repacking the boxes. Tommy could tell he was surprised when Hen hugged him as soon as she saw him.

“What was that for?” Evan asked, hugging her back.

“Because Tommy filled me in,” she said, “and I’m sorry I didn’t notice that you were struggling so much.”

Tommy left them to it, seeing Hen pull Buck aside so they could talk. He figured they both needed it. When he looked back, they had started moving the boxes up onto his truck, still talking. Tommy kept walking. The front rooms of the house were already empty aside from a few boxes. Karen even had all the stuff hanging on the walls leaning against a wall. Only Evan’s bike rack and bike remained.

The bedroom had been halfpacked. Most of Evan’s clothes were in the box he’d brought with him the night before, but he’d left a few things behind so Tommy started to gather those up into a box. Mixed in one of the drawers, Tommy discovered a shirt he’d been missing for months. Of course it had ended up with Evan. He was sure there were other shirts of his that Evan had kept.

Evan appeared when Tommy was adding a pile of socks into the box. He paused at the doorway until Tommy looked up and then Evan crossed the room and wrapped his arms around him. Tommy hugged him back and he felt Evan relax into him.

“Hen told me you told them what Eddie did,” Evan said.

“I figured that was okay. They needed to know.”

“Thank you,” Evan said, voice almost too low to be heard. “I don’t think I could have—”

“I know.”

Tommy kissed the side of his head. They stood like that for a moment. From the kitchen they could hear the others gathering up Evan’s pots and pans. Chim laughed about something and Ravi joined him. Hen’s voice chimed in with them.

“It’s nice, having them all here,” Evan said. “I never invited any of them over after I moved in here. I don’t even know why, I just didn’t. As soon as I find somewhere new to call home, I’ll have a dinner or something. Invite them. You. Athena, too.”

“Or we could do it at my house,” Tommy said.

“Yeah?”

“Of course.”

“That might be better,” Evan said. “I have no idea what I’ll find or if it will be big enough to host.”

“My house it is,” Tommy said.

Together they finished packing up Evan’s bedroom. A couple of picture frames, some books that Evan had said time and time again he was going to start, but then never did. It was as they were taking the mattress off the bedframe, that Evan’s phone began to ring. Evan looked confused, but they set the mattress back down and he fished out his phone, frowned, and picked up.

“Uh, yeah, this is Evan Buckley,” Evan said. He stepped closer to the window and Tommy watched him. “Oh. Wow. That’s…I didn’t expect that. And I get to pick? Can I let you know in a couple of days? I’m in the middle of moving and I just want some time to look at my choices.”

Evan was silent for a moment, nodding along. “Sure. That’s fine. End of the week. I’ll give your office a call. Have a good day.”

Evan turned as he got off the phone. He looked shocked.

“And that was?”

“The Chief,” Evan said. “I guess some of the other houses heard I put in my transfer paperwork. A few of them are interested in me. I, uh, I didn’t expect that. So, he said he’ll send over the offers so I can pick where I want to go.”

Evan looked both surprised and pleased at the news.

“You want to do it,” Tommy said.

A part of him had already assumed that with Buck having Hen and Chim in his corner — Ravi too for that matter — that he might decide to stick around at the 118. Tommy wouldn’t have blamed him for wanting to stay with his family, but Evan still looked conflicted. Undecided.

“Maybe,” Evan said. “I just think, what if I don’t and then I just get caught up in staying where I am and then even if I still feel like it’s not where I belong I just can’t leave? And then there’s the other thing.”

“The other thing?” Tommy asked.

“Eddie,” Evan said. “I don’t know if I can work with him after everything because I know how he is, Tommy, and he’ll just want everything to go back to how it was. I don’t think I can do that. I don’t think I can just forgive and forget this time, but he’ll expect me to and I will maybe not right away, but eventually.”

If Evan gave an inch on it, Eddie would take a whole foot. Maybe Eddie would work on himself and become a better friend, but that took time and effort. He could apologize and promise to be better but did that mean he wouldn’t just fall back on old habits? As professional as Evan might be able to keep things and as much distance as he could put between them, they both would still belong to the 118 and see each other all the time. Evan would grow weary of keeping Eddie at a distance and Eddie might even do a bit of pushing too.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Evan, I’ll support you no matter what you want to do.”

“Well, I have until the end of the week to decide,” Evan said. “Though I am leaning towards taking the transfer.”

“Any furniture ready to be moved?” Ravi asked, poking his head in.

“Oh, uh. Yeah, dresser’s empty now,” Evan said.

Tommy helped Ravi carry it out.

“He’s really going to transfer, isn’t he?” Ravi asked.

“I think so,” Tommy said.

“Good for him.”

They managed to get the dresser up on Tommy’s truck and Tommy waved Ravi off when he started to secure it in with some rope. Tommy had just finished when he heard a car stop in front of the house. He turned and spotted Eddie walking up the path to the door.

“Diaz,” he called out. “What are you doing here?”

Eddie stopped just a few feet short of the door. “Last time I checked, this is my house,” he said.

“That might be so, but Evan asked you to stay away while he moved out. So, I don’t know what you’re doing showing up here.”

Eddie seemed to not know what to say or do. Tommy watched him and waited. He wouldn’t stop Eddie if what he wanted to do was burst into the house and confront Evan, and nor would he allow Evan to deal with it alone.

“Look, man, I just…I feel bad, okay? My Tia Pepa, she told me I crossed a line just packing him up so I wanted to come and help and just talk to him. I screwed up.”

“Yeah, you did,” Tommy said.

Ravi came walking out of the house, holding one end of the mattress. His back was turned to them, so it was Chim holding the other end that actually saw Eddie. He said something under his breath and caught Tommy’s eye.

Eddie moved out of their way and as they got the mattress up on the truck, Evan walked out holding a bedside table. He stopped right outside the door when he spotted Eddie, placing the table down.

“What are you doing here?”

“Came to see if you needed help,” Eddie said.

Evan motioned around him. “I don’t need your help.”

“Buck, don’t be like this,” Eddie said.

Evan made to turn and head back into the house. Eddie seemed ready to reach out to him, but he dropped his hand before he could touch Evan.

“Look, I’m sorry. Okay. I just got excited about coming back and I figured I’d be okay since I’m moving back and needed my house back.”

Tommy just watched. Ravi and Chim stood by him. He was sure that Hen and Karen were just inside the house watching and listening too.

“And you’ll have it,” Evan said. “It’s what you wanted, after all, the faster the better, right?”

“Uh, right,” Eddie said. “So, you found a new place?”

Tommy could tell that Evan wanted the conversation to be over, but that he didn’t want to be rude or mean. He just didn’t have it in him to be that way.

Evan shook his head. “Does it matter?”

“Storage space then? I said that was a good idea,” Eddie said.

For Eddie this was clearing the air, it was making everything go back to how it had been. It was him grasping onto Evan and trying to keep him, but Evan was slippery and not meant to be held so tight to be confined. He was meant to be free. Eddie didn’t get that. He didn’t get that Evan had been pushed and prodded and made to be small and that he wasn’t going to take that anymore. Not from him. Not from anyone.

“Not that either,” Evan said. “Why do you even care? You just want me out of here, Eddie, and that’s what I’m doing so you can have your house back. Isn’t that enough?”

“Are you seriously still mad?” Eddie asked.

“Oh boy,” Chim said.

“I don’t know what else you want from me,” Evan said. “I can’t even move in peace.”

“Isn’t this what you wanted? You never wanted me to leave and now I’m back and you have a problem with that too. Nothing I do makes you happy, Buck. I wanted to share some good news with my best friend today but…I guess I’ll tell you anyway just in case you get mad that I kept something from you again. I spoke to the Chief and he said I can come back to the 118.”

They had all expected it, but to have it confirmed made Tommy wince.

Eddie wasn’t done, “Everything will go back to what it was like before and we’ll hang out in person and you can help Chris with his math homework and I’ll be around to have your back at work. Like before.”

“Congrats,” Evan said. His voice was dull.

“Buck—”

“What more do you want, Eddie? Yes, I’m still mad. If you had bothered to think about the reasons for that at all, maybe I’d be happier that you’re back at the 118. Right now I can’t. I have to move my stuff out and figure out where I’m going to live and I have to make a choice about what LAFD station I’m going to transfer to. And, Eddie, I don’t need you for any of it.”

“You’re transferring?” Eddie said, voice rising.

Tommy was getting ready to step in, but Evan caught his eye and shook his head. Tommy stayed put.

“That’s it,” Eddie said, gesticulating with both hands but then pointing at Buck. “See, that’s it right there. It’s why it feels impossible to talk to you. I tell you I’m back, but oh no the spotlight isn’t on Buck so he’s transferring to another station? Why? Because you want to run away from your problems and your friends? From your family?”

“Eddie, come on,” Chim said. “That’s not—”

Eddie threw up his hands.

“Sorry that my life doesn’t revolve around you, Eddie,” Evan said loud enough that it could be considered a yell. “Sorry I can’t put my emotions on hold until you feel like you can deal with them. With me. I don’t take any of what I said yesterday back. You’re not my friend.”

Evan then walked into the house and Tommy was not mistaken about the way his voice shook. Eddie at least didn’t follow him, when he turned to face them, it seemed like he was looking for them to sympathize with him. How did he think himself a victim? He looked to Ravi in a way that said, ‘can you believe him?’.

“You’re lucky it’s Buck you’re dealing with,” Ravi said as he passed by Eddie. “If it were me, I would have called the landlord and talked about the breach of contract and then maybe gotten my lawyer on the phone.”

Chim went to grab the bedside table Evan had put down and Tommy helped him hoist it up onto the truck.

“What, the two of you aren’t going to say anything?” Eddie asked.

“Just get out of here, Eddie,” Chim said. “Before you put your foot in your mouth further.”

Tommy knew he should go into the house to check on Evan. He knew that Evan needed him. He also knew that he didn’t need to say anything to Eddie. It was just that for as much as he could allow himself to hate Eddie on Evan’s behalf, he also knew how painful it was for a friendship to be torn to pieces like this one had been especially when it followed such a deep loss.

So, when Chim started towards the house, he hung back.

“What?” Eddie asked. “You gonna yell at me too?”

“No,” Tommy said. “I’m going to tell you that you hurt Evan deeply, that you kicked him when he was already down and I can’t even rationalize why. I can tell you that the Evan that came to me after you implied to him that we didn’t do enough that night to save Bobby was a shadow of the Evan I know. I can tell you that saying that to Evan was one of the worst things you could have done and a disrespect to all of us who were there that night. I hated you that night for hurting him like that and for how you took him and his friendship for granted.”

Eddie didn’t interrupt. He didn’t meet Tommy’s eyes, but at least he didn’t try to walk away or to try and explain himself and make excuses. He just stood there.

“Evan loves deeply,” Tommy continued. “He cares about everyone, even you. He’s selfless to a fault and I wish he looked out for himself the way he looks out for his friends. Yet you tell him he’s selfish for grieving his father figure simply because he wasn’t doing it the way you wanted him to? And because he wasn’t your shoulder to cry on? Have you ever been his shoulder? You got mad at him because he was upset you were leaving and did you ever even thank him for subletting this house and for giving up his place to do that? And the thing is that Evan will forgive you. He’ll want to be your friend again. But you need to be worthy of that. You need to go to therapy. You need to work on yourself because Evan is not going to be your punching bag and he’s not going to be waiting for you to call so he can fix your messes.”

Eddie’s jaw was clenched. His fists were balled up. Tommy could only hope that at least some of what he’d said would be retained. He waited to see if Eddie would say anything back, but he just hung his head.

“I’m serious about you needing help,” Tommy said. “For your own sake and for your son too. And you know what else, Eddie, if Evan does decide to be friends with you again I will never allow you to treat him the way you’ve treated him.”

He walked around Eddie and towards the house. He almost thought that Eddie wouldn’t say anything, but then he stopped when he heard his voice.

“That’s rich coming from you. You broke his heart.”

“I know,” Tommy said. “And I hate myself for that, and I’ll do everything I can to make up for it including not doing that again.”

He heard Eddie scoff as Tommy turned his back at him again, but Tommy ignored him and walked into the house, closing the door behind him.

Tommy found the others in the bedroom, but Evan was in the kitchen. All the cabinets were open and empty inside. Evan was holding a bottle of champagne. A very familiar bottle.

“Is that?”

“Yeah. I found it and then…well, it’s been in there for a while. I don’t really care about anything else in there, but this has to come with us. I think we’ll find a use for it. Maybe when I pick what station I’ll transfer to.”

“That’s a good idea.”

Eddie was gone when they went back outside. It didn’t take long after that to load up the last of Evan’s things. When it was all done and they stood in the front yard, Chim turned to Evan.

“I still don’t like it,” he said. “But if you feel like you have to leave the 118, then I can support that.”

“Just don’t be a stranger, Buck. We still want you around, alright?” Hen asked.

“And,” Chim added, “if you want to come back, I’ll make sure there’s a spot open for you.”

“It’s not like I’m not going to work a few more shifts with you guys,” Evan said, but he laughed and then pulled them both into a hug.

Tommy hung back by Karen who grasped his forearm. “Don’t let him go this time.”

“I won’t. I’m not planning to.”

She smiled at him. “Good.”

Hen and Karen left first, and Chim was reluctant not to join them in unloading everything back at Tommy’s house, but Evan assured him between the three of them that they could handle it and Ravi could still get the car back to his friend in time.

By the time that everything was done and they were waving at Ravi as he pulled out of the driveway, Tommy was far more tired than he’d expected.

“What, uh, what did you say to him?” Evan asked once they had settled down in the living room.

“Just mostly go get himself some help,” Tommy said.

“Oh. That’s good. Part of me thought you’d get into a fight with him or something.”

Tommy shook his head. “Do I want to punch him for the way he’s made you feel? Yes. I really do, but if he ever wants to repair things with you then that’s what he needs to do and the last thing I want is to fuel his anger. Now it’s up to him.”

“Yeah. I guess so,” Evan said. “But, I don’t want to think about Eddie anymore.”

It took one look from Evan, for Tommy to know exactly where that was headed and so when Evan climbed on his lap and his hands cradled Tommy’s face before he leaned down to kiss him, Tommy was prepared. Not that it mattered, because every kiss from Evan was and always would be as exhilarating as the last. Tommy could lose himself to it. The warmth of Evan’s body, his strong thighs and the way his hands held onto him and the way his tongue felt when it swept into his mouth, claiming territory that was gladly given.

They wound up in Tommy’s room, a room that was fast becoming not just his, but Evan’s too. They hadn’t made up the bed that morning and Evan brushed off the duvet and the topsheet and they toppled onto it laughing against each other.

Afterwards, Evan’s growling stomach had them cleaning up and looking to see what they could find to eat. The champagne bottle had found its way into Tommy’s fridge and seeing it there made Tommy smile. He remembered grabbing it on a whim when he went to get things for breakfast that morning. He’d planned on mimosas, but a part of him had also known that he hoped they’d be drinking them in celebration of a brand new start for them. This time, when they opened it, they would definitely be celebrating new starts.

After lunch, Evan pulled his laptop out.

“Alright, I told the Chief to give me some time, but I want to see who offered me a spot.”

Tommy smiled to himself. Evan was bouncy and excited. He had a gleam in his eyes again. Sadness too hidden behind that because Bobby was still gone and it would always stay with all of them, but more manageable. He kissed the top of Evan’s head and Evan turned his face up, grinning at him. He was going to be okay. On that, maybe Bobby had been right.

#bucktommy #bucktommy fic #911 fic #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 abc #kinley #tevan #911 season 8

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