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[sweetichigo-write]

Casse Croute

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

cw: SFW, fluff, angst, major character death

word count: 4,278

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

11:42 pm

That's what the clock read.

I did not notice it was this late. I always never mind the time. Rotting in bed was all I could do. Staring at the ceiling, dozing off, waking up, then stare the ceiling again and the cycle repeats.

I went downstairs to the kitchen to drink. It feels heavy to walk. Before I opened the fridge, I noticed a plastic bag, and inside of it was a paper bowl. When I opened the bag slightly, I saw a soup and a note on the lid. 

Hey (y/n)! I bought the soup from your favorite place hoping you'll eat and feel a bit better. I noticed the sandwich I sent you yesterday for lunch spoiled on the kitchen counter. (y/n), please take care of yourself. He doesn't want to see you like this.

I place the note on the counter and open the lid. The soup is cold. It was likely sent around 6:00 pm for dinner.

I pour the contents in the sink, and throw the paper bowl in the trash can, not bothering to segregate.

Before I left the kitchen, I realized that the sink was clean before I threw away the soup. 

(f/n) washed the piled dishes.

I frantically ran to the laundry room. Panting I switched the lights on and looked for the laundry basket like a wildman until I spotted the untouched dirty clothes. 

I breathed out a sigh of relief to see that (f/n) did not touch the dirty clothes.

I couldn't stop the tears from falling and letting out a sob. I slumped down, leaning at the door frame, crying covering my face.

I looked up and saw a blue button shirt, then grabbed it as if I were a child grabbing a toy.

The shirt is a beautiful wedgewood blue and soft to the touch. No buttons were missing. The fibers of the thread can be seen, holding the button for dear life.

I couldn't stop my hiccups and sobs as I felt the softness of the fabric. I sniffed the shirt and it smelled like him. Not the expensive perfume he used but him. 

His scent reminds me of the time when I greet him home and hug him, when he picks me up from work and bear hugs me, and when we cuddle to sleep and wake up still in his arms.

I carried his shirt as I walked back to our bedroom. The shirt is very light, but why is it so heavy? I plopped on our bed, laying down on his side of the bed, inhaling his scent on his pillow. The pillow slowly losing its scent made me cry and wail.

I miss him so so much.

The house is so empty! So silent! I hate it! It hurts so much. Every corner of the house reminds me of him. 

The lounge chairs where we read books every Sunday afternoon. The kitchen where we cook together and laugh when we failed cooking the food. The bathtub is where we have our spa day. The couch where we sit to watch movies and discuss mundane things. The bed I lay down where we show our love to each other. 

All corners, rooms,  and furniture always remind me of him. It hurts so much that I want to leave, or better yet, burn the place down...but I can't… this is my home, he was my home.

Still hiccupping and sobbing, I opened the drawer of his bedside table and then grabbed his daily planner. I flipped it to a particular date.

November 23

• Buy flowers

• Buy coffee and chocolate croissants at (y/n) favorite cafe

• Meeting with Mr.(r/n)

• Pick up the ring

• Dinner at (r/n) restaurant

The last bullet clenched my heart

• Ask (y/n) to spend our lives together

I kissed the page while tearing up and placed it on my chest.

I glanced at the clock and it read 12:02 am.

Today is November 23rd. My birthday. The day he was supposed to propose to me.

_______

I was jolted awake when someone shook my shoulder. It was (f/n).

"Hey, (y/n) are you okay? I was dropping off your meal and I decided to check up on you. You were whimpering in your sleep."

I stared blankly at (f/n) and then looked away from her.

"Thank you", I said weakly with a hoarse voice

There was a moment of silence before she spoke.

"Okay, I've had it enough, (y/n)! You’re killing yourself! Refusing to eat, not taking care of yourself, and just laying all day, do you think he wanted to see you suffering like this? (y/n), you look so thin! I am worried for you! We are all worried for you!"

"Did you think I wanted this!", I shouted back at her, "I can't eat! Even if I wanted to, I can't. My pain after losing him is greater than my hunger. I'm sorry for neglecting myself all because I drown myself with my sorrows", I broke down.

(f/n) embraced, brushing my hair, "I'm sorry, (y/n). I did not mean to shout at you I'm sorry."

I cried in her arms, clutching her sleeves not wanting her to leave me.

"(f/n), what should I do? This place hurts me. I cannot leave this place" I can't stop the tears from flowing, not minding the mess I made on her clothes.

"Actually...."

_____

I fiddled with the ring on my hand. It was a beautiful gold ring with a diamond at the center. It is simple and beautiful. He really knows my taste.

(f/n) gave me the ring he was supposed to propose to me

"He planned to propose to you on your birthday. He told me his plans and asked for my help to look for a ring. It was funny because the guy knew you like the back of his hand but still asked me for my opinion on what ring to choose, but I declined since I wanted him to choose the ring"

I was snapped out of my memory when someone called me.

"Miss (y/n), you may now enter", the woman gave me her warm smile. I smiled back at her even though it was small.

Inside the room was a white cushioned recliner-like chair. A woman with glasses appeared and greeted me.

"Good morning, miss (y/n)! I am Dr. Ieri, and these are Dr. Kamo and Dr. Inumaki", I bow to them as my greetings, "Please sit down on the chair so that we can begin the procedure."

(f/n) suggested me to come to this place. I did not know such a place existed. Many have visited the place and have a memory wipe out. Not thinking about the consequences, I impulsively accepted her suggestion.

I followed Dr. Ieri's instructions. After I made myself comfortable, Dr. Kamo placed a device on my head and an anesthetic face mask.

"We will use the device on your head to see which memories you want to be wiped. While trying to make you sleep, we will start reviewing your memories, and you might see and remember the memories being wiped out."

I just nodded to him since I was already wearing the anesthetic mask.

As they started to choose what part of my memories to wipe out, all of the times when me and I were together flashed in my eyes

_____

I went to my favorite pastry shop for lunch since I was craving for their casse croute. After  I grabbed the last piece, I saw a man that was about to pick it up. I noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He looked so tired. Feeling bad, I give the sandwich to him.

"Here you go, sir, you can have it", I smile at him but the worry is clear in my expression.

"No, thank you, miss. I'll just grab another sandwich", he politely declined.

"No, I insist", I placed the sandwich in his hand then walked away so that he wouldn't give it back, and then roam around the shop to buy another of my favorites.

I saw the man paying at the counter, talking with the cashier, (c/n), as I waited in line. I realized he is kind of...muscular. He is tall, maybe like 6'3. And he dressed so well. I chuckled to myself. 

"He is so my type", I whispered to myself.

When it was my turn to pay (c/n) looked surprised.

"Oh, (y/n)!  The gentleman a while ago paid for your sandwich as well", she beamed.

My eyes went wide. I was speechless. I did not even notice (c/n) packed my sandwich.

I thanked (c/n) and then went out of the shop in a hurry hoping to see the man again, but he was nowhere to be seen.

_____

It was Saturday night when me and my friends decided to visit a jazz club in the city. When we sat at our booth, I scanned the area, admiring the ambiance.

A particular blonde head caught my attention. I excused myself from my friends, then strutted my way to his booth.

"Casse croute", the man was about to take a sip of his drink when I spoke. He turns his head and his eyes widen.

"Ah, miss...?"

"(y/n). What's your name?" I offered my right hand to shake his hand.

"Nanami Kento", he held my hand, and instead of shaking he kissed it.

"So, what brings you here, mister Nanami?", I sat in the chair next to him, "oh, I hope you don't mind", I sat comfortably and faced him.

"It's fine. I'm just drinking here alone to unwind. What about you? What brings you here?", he shifted on his seat to face me.

"Well me and my girlfriends wanted to unwind too and have fun", I look at our booth motioning where my friends are seated. He looked at where they were seated, and my friends waved at us. As soon as his back was facing them, they raised their thumbs, hyping me up, and I giggled.

"I hope you didn't ditch your friends", he chuckled. 

I laughed, "Of course not! I saw a familiar blonde, and I just to say hi to him".

When I glanced at our table, a waiter was getting the order in our booth. My friends motioned me to come back.

"I have to go back. My friends are calling me. It was lovely chatting with you," before I left, he gently held my hand.

"Wait,"  I focused my attention on him, "I wanted to thank you for giving the casse croute to me. Let me repay you."

Curious, "How, mister Nanami?"

"Let me take you out for dinner, have drinks, and get to know each other", he squeezed my hand gently.

"Mister Nanami, are you asking me out on a date?" I acted fake shock.

"Maybe", he smiled then kissed my hand.

We exchanged contacts before I went back to my booth.

_____

On our date, he took me to a restaurant with a spectacular view of the city, a jazz band was playing making the atmosphere light and smooth.

We ate dinner, drank some cocktails, talked about ourselves, and laughed at some jokes.

By the end of our date, he drove me home.

When we reached my apartment complex he exited his vehicle. As I unbuckled my seatbelt he opened the door for me. He held my hand that was not holding my bag, assisting me as I got out of the car. He closed the door and stared at me.

"Did you have a great time?", he asked.

"Yes. How about you?", I ask curiously.

"Very much," he kissed the back of my hand.

The gesture made me blush.

"I wish to see you again"

"So a second date, Kento?"

"Yes"

_____

Over the past few months, me and Kento had several dates. There were dates on which I was the one who planned, but mostly he was the one who planned our dates.

In one particular meeting we had, he shared that he won't be renewing his lease and plans to move out.

"The house that I bought is not fully furnished. I don't have any idea what appliances and furniture should I pick," he shared with me while holding hands.

"I can help you pick. I am free this Saturday."

"Then this Saturday we'll have a furniture shopping date," he laughed and I laughed as well.

_____

Shopping for his soon-to-be home furniture was fun. I get to know his style and preferences.

Most of the furniture we bought was a fusion of our preferences, but mine obviously dominated his. I wondered why he just let me choose the furniture.

On the day he moved in, I was there to help him.

Dinnertime arrived, and we ordered chicken and pizza. We sat on the floor since the table was not yet assembled.

We talked and laughed as we ate dinner.

"Ah! (y/n), I'll grab something from my room", he stood up.

"I'll go with you," I was about to stand up when he stopped me.

"You don't have to. Just eat your meal. You needed that, you helped me move and organize some of my stuff," he ruffled my hair and walked away.

While he was gone, I admired his place. The house was so big for one person living here.

When he came back, he handed me something, "Here,".

When I looked at it, it was a key.

"Kento, what's this?" I looked at him confused. My heartbeat was so fast that it was ringing in my ears.

"A duplicate of my house key," he paused, " this is me asking you to move in with me. I want to see you all the time. After a rough day at work, I want to feel your presence and bask in your warmth. So, (y/n) will you move in with?"

I did not waste another second to reply, "Yes!", I jumped to hug him, but we ended up lying on the floor due to the force of my embrace. 

We laughed it off. I couldn't help myself to kiss him. He was taken aback but reciprocated my kiss.

_____

After I moved in with him, everything felt like a dream. I get to see more of him. I learned what genre of books he reads, and his favorite meal that I learned to cook (he protested that I don't need to cook for him but I insisted, we argued a bit until we made an agreement that we'll cook our meals together), and his favorite bread from the pastry shop where we first met. When we have disagreements, we would talk it out before sleeping, not allowing us to sleep with a heavy burden in our hearts.

One particular evening, he showed a different side of him.

We were cooking dinner. He was chopping the vegetables as I was stirring the pot when I asked him to pass the salt.

"Love, can you hand me the salt?", I reached my hands at my back waiting for the salt shaker to be placed on my palm.

A minute passed and no salt shaker appeared on my hand.

"Kento? Oh!," I was surprised when his arms encircled around my waist.

His face was buried on my shoulder. I turned around to face him, but he just buried his face on my chest.

"Kento, what's wrong?" I stroked his fluffy blonde hair, and that's when I noticed his red ears.

"Say that again," he murmured.

"Huh?"

"Call me love again"

I smiled and then chuckled. I kissed the top of his head then I said the words he wanted to hear.

"Love"

His embrace tightened.

I laughed and teased him throughout the night.

_____

I was folding his clothes and placing them in his luggage as he answered a call.

There was an urgent out-of-town business meeting. 

"Yes, Mr. (r/n) I'll meet you tomorrow morning. Have a good evening," he ended the call and walked towards the bed where I was packing his clothes.

He slumped on me, burying his face on my shoulder. I scratch the back of his head.

" I'm sorry I will be leaving you tomorrow. I will try to get back as soon as the meeting ends," he said sounding like a sad puppy.

"It's okay, love. You don't have to rush. I want you to be back safe and sound," I kissed his temple and caressed his cheek.

_____

When I woke up he wasn't on his side of the bed.

After eating breakfast and taking a shower I received a text from him

From: Love

I just arrived. Hope you ate breakfast already.

I texted back saying that I just ate and telling him to eat as well because he did not have time to eat earlier.

_____

October 31st

The wind was howling and the rain fell heavily outside. 

Today was the day he was supposed to come back, but given the weather, I think he will reschedule his flight.

As I was doing my skincare he called me.

"Good evening, darling! How are you?", he sounded tired but he tried to sound cheerful.

"I'm fine. How about you love?" I put our call on speaker while I continue my nightly routine of skincare.

There was a long pause before I heard him sigh before he spoke.

"I miss you so much. I'll try to go home tonight. I asked them to prepare my plane."

That alerted me.

"Wait. Hold on. Kento, don't you dare fly back home tonight. Don't you see the weather outside? There's a freaking storm," I said in a strict firm tone.

"I know but I just miss you so much. I want to see you now"

"Kento- love, why don't you wait-," our call was cut off when the power went out. There was no signal.

Damn

I slept that night thinking that he rescheduled his flight.

_____

I was woken up by my phone ringing.

'Who calls this early in the morning?' I think to myself.

I answered the call, not checking who called.

"This is *** speaking, who is this?" I asked groggily.

"Ma'am, this the (random hospital name) we would like you to come to identify the body of Mr. Nanami Kento."

_____

I immediately rushed to the hospital, not bothering to change my pajamas just grabbing my purse and phone and then hailing a cab.

I was in no condition to drive.

‘This can't be true. This is not Kento. He's at (town name). He rescheduled his flight. He'll be back this afternoon.’

I started to hyperventilate, not caring about the cab driver giving me worried looks.

When I arrived at the hospital, I asked the nurse where I could find Kento. She looked at me, and for a second I saw her worried expression then it changed into a stoic look.

She led the way where I could him. Hoping she'd lead me to a hospital room, but when I saw her turn to a corridor that had a sign 'morgue' the blood drained from my face.

When we arrived, the mortician looked at me worriedly, but he still unzipped the bag.

There I saw, the love of my life, lying lifeless.

I broke down, choking a sob. I went near his lifeless body.

'This is not him!’ Deluding myself, but when I saw the moles and marks on his body, it was definitely him.

I wailed loudly, not minding the nurse and mortician watching me as I crumbled.

I caressed his face hoping that he would open his eyes, that this was some kind of joke, but I knew that this was real.

_____

The funeral process went by like a blur. Family and friends saying their condolences.

I stared at his casket. He was wearing an expensive white polo shirt. He looked so peaceful, it was just as if he was sleeping.

After he was buried, my friends asked me if I wanted some company, but I politely declined.

After they left, I closed the door. For the first, the house was so silent. It was deafening.

I then slumped down on the door, crying for the nth time today.

_____

I gained a bit of consciousness. Realizing my mistake I don't want to erase my memories with him. Even if it hurts I'll hold on to those memories.

I tried to lift my arms to get the doctor's attention, but I couldn't move them. I tried to make a sound, but nothing came out of my throat.

'Please! Stop the procedure! I changed my mind! Dr. Ieri! Dr. Kamo! Dr. Inumaki!'

I silently prayed that they would hear my pleas. But as if the heavens loathed me, I heard a robotic voice 'Memory wiped out complete!'  before I lost consciousness.

_____

I was typing on my computer to finish my work when I checked the time.

11:42 am

It's nearly lunchtime. I stood up from my desk and grabbed an envelope.

Inside was my letter. The contents were just about a leave note. I already sent a soft copy to my manager, but to be sure I'll swing by her office.

I knocked on Mr.(r/n) and then entered when I heard a faint 'come in'.

"What brings you here, Miss (y/n)?"

"I'm here for my leave. I sent you an email," I handed him an envelope, "Here is another copy of my leave."

"Ah! I have already approved your leave. Thanks for letting us know in advance."

_____

I went to the washroom first before I went back to my office. I checked my appearance first when my earrings caught my attention.

It was the ring I wore when I woke up in the hospital.

I just randomly woke up and doctors informed me of the procedure I had just undergone. According to them, I wiped out some of my memories. I thought it was bullshit. But every time I glanced at the ring, now earrings, it made me slowly believe that a part of my memory was gone.

I asked a fine goldsmith friend of mine to turn the ring into earrings. It was hard to cook, do house chores, and work wearing the ring. 

I initially wanted to pawn the ring, but something stopped me from doing so. Just the thought of pawning the ring made me clench my heart.

When I was on my way to my office, I bumped into (f/n).

"Hey, (y/n)! You'll be leaving early right?"

"Yeah, I have to pack the last of my things. I'll be moving out tomorrow."

After I got discharged from the hospital, (f/n) drove me home. I was expecting to be in my apartment complex, but to my surprise, we arrived at a large house— more like a mansion.

Staying there was hard. The place was way too big for a single person to live. When I want to eat for my late-night cravings, I have to sleep the hunger away because the kitchen is very far away. The cleaning was especially hard.

When I put the house on sale, a family contacted me they were interested in buying the house. They were happy because it was the home of their dreams, and it made them more happy to know it was fully furnished.

_____

The moving truck was loading the last of my things. With my luggage in my hand, I glanced at the place. It looked empty despite the furniture still being there. A wave of sadness rushed at me. The place was compelling me to stay, but I stood my ground wanting to leave.

My attention was diverted when I heard an engine coming inside the estate. 

It was the family moving in. 

There were moving trucks as well

When they got out of the car I saw the wife, with the same hair color as me. We kind of look alike. We have the same body shape and height.

Together with her is her husband. He was a tall blonde man. Probably 6'3 in height. In his arms were two beautiful children giggling.

"Hello, Miss (y/n)!" The woman greeted excitedly.

I smiled and then exchanged pleasantries with her.

"You can't imagine how happy I was when I saw this place in the market. My husband and my children couldn't sleep a wink last night. They were too excited to move in!"

"Well, I'm glad that you and your family were looking forward to moving in," I reached for my pocket to hand her the keys, "These are the keys, the keys for the different rooms are here as well- Oh! There's also a duplicate house key too", she looks so happy after receiving the keys.

"Thank you, Miss (y/n)!"

I paused for a while before I said something to her.

"I hope you will be making happy memories with your family in your new home", I patted her shoulder and then walked towards my car.

After I placed my luggage in the trunk and closed it, I looked at the family entering their home. Something flashed in my eyes. It was me and a man entering the place.

I shook my head as it was nonsense.

As I drove off towards my new home, I glanced at the car mirroreflecting the gate of the house slowly getting smaller and smaller.

Fin

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

I was inspired by @enhaskzzz Enhypen swipe game breakup edition. The song playing in the swipe game was Ariana Grande's "we can't be friends". You can find the vid at TikTok 🍓🎀.