sycamoretower

[sycamoretower]

i sooooo wanna know how we come off to others .... what vibes and colours and stuff .... but I am too chicken to actually ask bc I don't want it to be inorganic LOL

[sycamoretower]

"jon wouldn't respect oujia board etiquette" jon didn't respect my etiquette. dumbass

[sycamoretower]

ok u gave me the ok to send in a request so hmm... maybe either something for kafka or something for misha? both hsr. kafka is pretty general but for misha, more angel-like and soft things since our misha in sys (aisling) is part halovian? whatever you'd like to do most 🩵🩵🩵🩵 thank u sm

(its vince hehe hi)

misha psd / kafka psd blue frame kafka transparent - @tokenpng

i didn't have anything else to do so, both. i found a very cool blue frame but i also tried to do my own thing. here you go

[sycamoretower]

not to use this as a place to vent but ..... i love feeling incredibly nervous over silly things I'm kinda scared about but also scared to talk about so I will never get reassurance for ... proceeds to talk about it under the cut anyways

I've seen so much in communities on this site and seeing friends get into those communities (which I'm in as well) makes me nervous as fuck bc I'm afraid that they'll interact with people that don't like me or my partner and then we'll be hated as a result and kicked out of our servers and lose friends, some of which I've known for years now .... and its my only little group I even have anymore.... and I'm barely a part of it .... I'm so nervous and scared though

[sycamoretower]

daily amnesia in DID is something i don't see talked about that much, i see regular amnesia (ie not being able to remember years of your life, traumatic memories etc) talked about but never the daily things.

daily amnesia is on a day to day basis never being able to remember important things, did i take my medicine this morning? did i shower yesterday? have i eaten yet? what have i been doing for the past hour? what was i supposed to do today?

daily amnesia REALLY fucking sucks because whenever you start suffering you remember every other time you've been suffering and just scold yourself for not getting help and not getting better - but when the moment it's over? it's completely gone from your memory. it's so much suffering and you're so stuck because how can you ever get help for something you can't remember? you're always in a constant state of 'feeling fine' and when you end up getting help and going to therapy there's nothing to talk about because there's nothing you remember.

every day is groundhog day where you are forced against your will to repeat it over and over for god knows how long.

[IMAGE ID: ponyville is a (pro) endo free zone break dni and get blocked loser! END ID]

[sycamoretower]

[sycamoretower]

brain telling me to constantly check the election results or something will Happen that is Bad vs wanting to do literally anything else to distract myself so I can relax

...to take my lexapro or to not take it yet....

[sycamoretower]

Cluster C Personality Disorder Userboxes

(also, we have permission from the creator of the flags to do this, so long as the creator is properly credited :3)

Flag credits to @fantasy-store (link)

[Text: This system has Avoidant Personality Disorder (AVPD).]

[Text: This system has Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD).]

[Text: This system has Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD).]

[Text: This system is Cluster C.]

Please like/reblog if you save or use!

[sycamoretower]

i have been on the hunt for several days to figure out a fursona . nothing is sticking and I'm blaming being a system for my faint sense of identity

[sycamoretower]

um. locked in my own head again. does anyone have The Password

[sycamoretower]

thinking about how growing up with my sister getting into witchy things she (and I) were always told that thinking about things enough and really hard can make them manifest. and I truly thought that for a really long time. but such a mentality is so so so bad for (my) ocd holy shit

[sycamoretower]

Dark purple Yagen icons for @fatui11 !

Hey! Here are the icons you requested awhile ago! Sorry it took a while to do them, internet issues for the majority of the week, big surprise. But, I hope you like them!

Please let me know if you’d like anything changed and thank you for requesting!

[sycamoretower]

⛽ and 🧭 for ask game, i really like understanding how other people found out about their system.. (: - L 🧠

⛽ - how did you discover you were a system?

god its actually kind of silly to think back on. i didn't realize SHIT until silas showed up when I was talking to myself about kin stuff and he just started answering my questions and I was like. what the fuck, I don't kin you, and then it started a small journey of re-reading his source (owari no seraph, for the record,) until I brought it up to my partner. and I was like "yeah so like, since at least 2018/2019 I've heard these voices talk to me when I'm trying to sleep and sometimes they've tried to get me to break up with my (then) gf and sometimes they argue or try to scare me and I have to shoo them away, but now there's this new one and he's just sika madu from ons and I don't know why some idk spiritual guide would present as a guy I hate" and my partner. who I helped when they found out they were a system. just looked at me. metaphorically they didn't live with me yet. and were like. i think those are headmates and I was like WAAAAA bc at the time I didn't think I had "enough" trauma (spoiler alert: yes I do oopsy). and this was back in ... 2021 (I just looked back on the messages too and its funny "I don't have any of the diagnostic criteria!" yes you do . you silly silly vincent yes you do)

🧭 - were there any obvious signs that you were a system before your discovery?

well firstly my partner is giving a very enthusiastic "yes I did" but we arent really sure of what they are LOL. though I guess the first thing to note is that my sister said I was constantly dissociating throughout our childhood <3 plus the fact I constantly forgot that I told people things, not remembering things that people tell me FOR SURE happened (like going on a rollercoaster. mom dad and sister all say I likely went on one but NO THE HELL I DIDNT).... the time my mom woke me up to go somewhere when id been wanting to get out for days and I apparently told her I didn't want to go anymore and when I actually woke up I never remembered telling her that ... the time for like at least a few straight weeks that any time I wasn't at home I was talking in a British accent and could not stop it and just thought it was kinnie things .... man

— vince

[sycamoretower]

system ask game, because i'm bored!

PART 1: BRAIN MADE ALTERS

💫 - do you have a face claim? if so, what is it, and how'd you find it? ⭐ - do you have a "theme song", or a song you think describes you? 🌟 - what's your voice claim, if you have one? ✨ - do you have any friends or family in the system? 🌜 - did you form with any pseudo memories, despite not having a direct source?

PART 2: INTROJECTED ALTERS

🌾 - do you like your source? if so, does it bring you comfort? 🌱 - do you feel connected to your source, or more separate? 🌿 - do you have any pseudo memories? are there any you'd like to share, if so? 🍃 - what are your opinions on interacting with source mates? ☘ - do you look like or sound like your source?

PART 3: HEADSPACE

🍓 - does your headspace have layers to it? if so, how many? 🍒 - is your headspace big, small, or somewhere in between? 🍎 - was your headspace there when you first discovered you were a system, or did you have to make/build it? 🍉 - has your headspace changed over time, or has it generally stayed the same? 🍑 - do your alters have their own spaces/rooms?

PART 4: DISCOVERY RELATED QUESTIONS

🛑 - how old were you when you first discovered your system? 🚧 - do you remember who was host when you discovered your system? are they still host now? 🚨 - have roles within your system changed a lot since you first discovered your system? ⛽ - how did you discover you were a system? 🧭 - were there any obvious signs that you were a system before your discovery? feel free to send any of these asks in/our way as well! have fun lovelies!

[sycamoretower]

still thinking about how micah got himself "locked" up in him and quincy's room in headspace like. a week after he showed up for the first time. like DUDE

[sycamoretower]

I SWEAR IF I DISCOVER ANOTHER HEADMATE THAT HAS AN ACCENT THAT I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT ILL HAVE . TWO NICKLE.

[sycamoretower]

Crossover ships be wild as a system with fictives , we likely got aventurine hsr and mithrun kissing