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Aameen ya rab!
I seek refuge in Allah from a sin that does not allow me to enter Paradise
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An important lesson for everyone reading this!
Always try to expect the best from life and stay hopeful. You may have read this many times but nobody explains why we should stay so positive? Especially if our lives have mostly been quite negative. Let me try to explain why we should stay positive and hopeful in life.
Our brains don't create our realities, it just reinforces and supports the realities that we create for ourselves. Quite complicated, I know.. But wait for it!
Our brain's job is to keep us safe physically, mentally and emotionally. It's supposed to keep us 'risk free' and will often even justify our wrong doings, just to save us from negative emotions like stress. It does that by supporting our wrong doings with evidence. So that's why so many murderers justify their actions. You'd literally hear a murderer say 'I killed her because she was being too loud and I couldn't focus on my game'.
It's their brain justifying their actions to them because our brains have to ensure our emotional safety and save us from the stress that comes with committing a crime. So the initial reaction to our crimes is usually justification. It takes many people to convince us that we are wrong, that's when we finally understand. This is why there are laws that specify what comes under the category of "crime". Do we need a law to tell us that stealing is a crime? It's common sense right? But nope, because our brains would've justified every crime of ours, that's its job 🤷🏻♀️
So the point of this example is that the initial reactions of our brains is always to support our actions, no matter how wrong they are.
Now that we've understood this point, let's move on to why we need to stay hopeful and positive in life.
Your brain will always reinforce the reality you create for yourself. For the sake of your emotional safety, it won't create conflicts in your head. So if you choose to believe that everything in your life goes wrong, everyone around you hates you. You just aren't capable of succeeding in life, life is just too hard etc etc.. If you believe all those negative things, your brain will ONLY bring evidence to prove your negative thoughts to you. The world around us is a busy place, so many things happening at once but our brains can't and won't focus on everything. It cherry picks and remembers the details that reinforce our thoughts. So in case of you having negative thoughts, it won't make you focus on the people that do like you, the things that you have achieved successfully etc. Because if it does that then it's creating a conflict between your thoughts and the reality outside of you. That's not what it'll do, for the sake of your emotional safety.
What happens when your brain turns a blind eye to the positives and magnifies the negatives? It can see the positives and the negatives both, but what does it remember and magnify and what it forgets and discards? Again, depends on your thoughts. So if you often have negative thoughts, you start believing the negative even more because now you have evidence for it 🤷🏻♀️ when this happens several times, the reality you have about others and about life in your brain turns very negative. You eventually lose confidence in your abilities, trust in your relationships and just you turn into a sad, lonely person who doesn't succeed at anything. That obviously is reflected in your body language and in anything practical you do. It creates mental burdens and slowly deteriorates you.
This is called confirmation bias. A true phenomenon that has been observed for many years.
If you intentionally choose to ignore the negatives and pick the positives in your life, your brain will be trained to only focus on the positives around you cuz it has to use that as an evidence to support your positive thoughts.
And this can be life changing because this will boost your confidence, increase your abilities, groom you and just overall create a positive reality for you. Choose to focus on the positives even if you are facing too much negativity now. In the long run, this will really help all of you.
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If you come across this,please read the whole thing.
Signs that you're sabotaging yourself :
1- You often procrastinate
2- You may keep the promises that you make to others but you usually break the promises that you make with yourself
3- Refusing to take support in any way, even if you need it.
4- You prioritise comfort even if it isn't leading to any progress. Progressing requires discomfort and you don't accept that!
These minor things are minor self betrayals and overtime they add up to become major self betrayals.
Imagine a friend or a lover constantly betraying you, at some point you'd lose your trust in them and that loss of trust will cause you to lose confidence in them. You won't consider them reliable enough obv.
Similarly, your mind will slowly cause you to lose trust in yourself after so many self betrayals and overtime, you'd lose confidence in yourself, you'd lose hope, you'd slowly start disliking yourself and that'll lead to you allowing others to play with your emotions just to feel accepted /appreciated. When we don't like ourselves, we want someone else to like us,anyone would do. Even if that person is toxic to us or emotionally /physically abusive. Because wanting to feel accepted is imp to all of us and our brains will do anything to feel that way if we haven't been feeling appreciated /accepted for a long time. That's why you'd see so many people stuck in toxic/abusive relationships despite having the option to leave. They have betrayed themselves so much that now they can't rely on themselves alone, they need someone! Anyone!
This is major self sabotage. It's subtle and slow so you don't notice it happening but in a few years, you'd look back and you'd realise you've lost yourself somewhere!
So avoid those 4 things at every cost. Make small promises to yourself and fulfil them even if they aren't significant at all. Make a work /study routine and follow it strictly to avoid procrastination, take it easy on the weekends or take a week off every few months with the intention of getting back on track soon. Ask for support or help when you really need it. If you want something but are refusing it because you want comfort, stop yourself right there and work to get a step closer to your end goal. These are minor things but overtime, they make you strong enough to rely on yourself and bonds with others are bonuses to your lives.. bonuses that you can truly enjoy, not a need that you HAVE to cling to or you'd have no one else to rely on!
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The beautiful waters of the North Coast of Egypt.
(@egyptiannoor, 2016)
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"اور ویسے بھی، مرنے کے لئے اِنسان کا زندا ہونا ضروری ہے..
ٹھیک کہا، لیکن یہ انعام بھی صرف زندا لوگوں کا مُقدّر ہے"
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لا يوجد علاج آخر للأسى ولكن صبر؛ وقت التفكير في الأرواح التي فقدت أو تغيرت
There is no cure of sorrow but patience; the time to dwell on the lives that have lost or that have changed.
ولكي نقبل بأن من ننتمي، يجب أن نعود إليه
To accept that who we belong to, we must and will return to.
~ 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑓𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑡𝑦
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Many relationships would be a lot healthier if we romanticized honest, open and direct communication instead of idealizing the idea of a partner who's intuitively in tune with your every need. You don't need someone who can read your mind, you just need someone who's willing to listen when you speak.
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I recently heard something very unique and I wanted to share it with everyone I know. I heard someone say this 'Your spouse is like a door for you. He/she can either open up and give you a way or he/she can stay shut forever and block your path".
Different people will dervie different meanings from this but it was said in a spiritual context so this was my interpretation :
Your spouse truly is a door for you, a door to Allah, a door to Jannah. We change ourselves the most for our spouses. Mostly women change themselves to adjust to their husbands' standards and their husbands families but men change themselves too. Men change their outlook on life as a result of staying with their wives for a long time. They both change for eachother and I've never seen anyone change for themselves as much as they change for their spouses. The person that has the power to change us the most is our spouse. The reason we change the most due to our spouse is that we happily accept that change. We don't resist. Why don't we resist? Because we believe that it's our choice. That change is OUR choice. Why do we come to the conclusion that it's our choice? Because we want to/have to live with that person and if we don't change then WE are unhappy. To seek our own happiness and peace, we 'choose' to change. So afterall, I was the one who chose this change, I wasn't pressurised right? Wrong!
We all know that we are pressurised. It's this subtle and hidden pressurisation that makes us believe that we are in control of what we choose. So we happily accept that change!
Now comes the main point! If the change is good, if the change brings us closer to our Lord. If our spouse makes us feel like we need to love Allah more, we need to follow the right path etc the this pressure is amazing. It's this positive pressurisation that opens our path to jannah. It shouldn't be viewed negatively and should be considered a blessing. This is when your spouse is the door that opens for you.
But, if your spouse subtly pressurises you to become distant from Allah, to dress in ways that Allah doesn't like, to lie or cheat, to hurt or disrespect etc. If your spouse slowly makes you change into someone that Allah dislikes, then your spouse has become that door that refuses to open. Your spouse has become a door that has blocked your path to Allah, all while making you believe that it was YOUR choice to change.
I think we need to internalise this concept and be very careful while looking for our spouse. They can permanently block us from Allah or can open up beautiful paths for us. Also, don't be a blocked door for anyone. Don't be the reason why someone forgets Allah. The world is ending soon, the sun will rise from the west soon. The doors of forgiveness can close any time now, be careful of what you've become for others and for yourselves.
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Children of martyrs are removed from the rubble of their house, which was bombed by the Israeli occupation in Gaza.
انتشال اطفال شهداء من انقاض منزلهم الذي قصفه الاحتلال الإسرائيلي في غزة.
Gazze'de İsrail işgali tarafından bombalanan evlerinin enkazından şehit çocukları kurtarıldı.
Where is humanity?
SPEAK UP! SPREAD THIS! REBLOG!
Let the world see the crimes of the Israeli occupation.
Israel is child killers.
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Please pray for her and many families like their theirs if this touched your heart. When you see your table full of food today, remember her again and pray for all the people that are suffering. Pray to Allah to provide for them just as He provides for you without you even asking.
You may think that you re helpless and you wish you could do something, but remember that prayers have caused miracles to happen. They have! Sincere duas are the strongest weapon we have, so pray and pray sincerely.
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