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John wrote a short story where he has sex with a 'woman' in paris. Except the woman is called Amie L'Nitrate and Amyl Nitrate is a reference to poppers. He talks about grabbing her 'pomme de frites.' Her potatoes? He uses the term 'tread lightly on some loafers' which is an old euphenism for being gay. Amie says they should have sex to God Only Knows. Then John says their relationship ended in a seething rage but he still thinks of 'her.' Yeah. Most solid mclennon evidence in my eyes.

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January 13th, 1969 (Twickenham Film Studios, London): John contends with how the force of his partnership with Paul and his relationship with Yoko has negatively affected George and perhaps directly contributed to George’s walkout on the group three days prior. (Note: Follows shortly after this clip. My apologies for the vagueness; this is a very difficult excerpt to interpret, and I change my mind about it constantly, as the emotional nuances of what is being conveyed shift significantly depending on whom you presume John is speaking to (Paul or Yoko) about whom (Paul, George, or Yoko) and whom it is in reference to or is directed towards (Paul, George, or Yoko), word to word. I did initially try to indicate who’s who in brackets next to the relevant pronouns, but the transcript got dreadfully cluttered, and as I said, I have hardly nailed myself to a mast. Basically, this is a fannish Rorschach test and Your Mileage May Vary.)

JOHN: And it’s just that, you know. It’s only this year that you’ve suddenly realised, like who I am, or who he is, or anything like that. But the thing is—

PAUL: But I still haven’t realised that. What I’m – the process.

YOKO: [inaudible]

JOHN: Yeah yeah, but you realise that some – like you were saying, like George was some other part. But up till then, you’d had a – your thing that carried you forward. [pause; Yoko speaking?] I know, I’d adjusted before you. Alright, that would make me hipper than you, but I know that I’d adjusted to you before that – for selfish reasons, and for good reasons, not knowing what else to do, and for all these reasons. I’d adjusted to all these and allowed you [inaudible] – you know, if you wanted to let me— [inaudible] —very, very… whatever it is. But this year, you’ve seen, you’ve seen what you’ve been doing, and what everybody’s been doing, and not only did we feel guilty about it, the way we all feel guilty about our relationship to each other, because we could do more… 

YOKO: [inaudible]

JOHN: I know, the thing is that I’m – I can’t – I’m not putting any blame on you for only suddenly realising it, see, because it’s [inaudible] our game, you know; it might have been masochistic, but the goal was still the same, self-preservation. And I knew what I liked about that. I know where the – even if I didn’t know where I was at, you know, the table’s there, and… let him do what he wants, and George too, you know…

PAUL: I know. I know—

JOHN: And I have won.

PAUL: But this thing has been—

JOHN: But I think you—

PAUL: You have—

JOHN: I feel it’s you.

PAUL: Whatever it is, you have. Yeah, I know. Well, I’ve had [inaudible]—

JOHN: Because you – ’cause you’ve suddenly got it all, you see.

PAUL: Mm.

JOHN: I know that, because of the way I am, like when we were in Mendips, like I said, “Do you like me?” or whatever it is. I’ve always – uh, played that one.

PAUL: [laughs nervously] Yes.

JOHN: So.

PAUL: Uh, I’d been watching, I’d been watching. I’d been watching the picture.

YOKO: Go back to George. What are we going to do about George?

JOHN: Yeah, I’m – yeah, sure. But this year, suddenly, it’s all happened to you, and you sort of go – you’re taking the blame, suddenly, as if, uh… Oh, he’d say, “Oh yeah, you know [inaudible],” as if I’ve never known it. And then he thought, “Fucking hell. I know what he’s like. I know he used to kick people. I know how he connived with Len, Ivan. I know him, you know? Fuck him.” And then, oh, but, but right, I’ve done such things… all that. So you’ve taken the five years that [inaudible], you’ve taken the five years of trouble, this year. So half of me says, alright, you know I’ll do anything to save you, to help you. And the other half of me says, well serves him fucking right. I’ve chewed through fucking shit because of him for five years, and he’s only just realised what he was doing [to her?]. So, and that’s something – we’ve both known it, you know? [laughs] And it is incredible. [pause] PAUL: Yeah.

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When I think I'm so strong and nothing can ever hurt me, much less any old stuff, which happened long before I was born, I suddenly play this little song (actually, 3 in 1) and hear Paul and John singing between Two Of Us' takes, Do I love you? Oh, my, do I? Honey, deed I do?

And John comments, Yes, I do it, Paul

Playing the fool as usual

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i’ve come to a conclusion

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Quote compilations

Because I cope with my Beatles feelings by collecting and organizing quotes in a big ass spreadsheet and I may as well post them here divided up by topic:

The breakup

Quotes from each member divided by year, showing it was never so cut and dry that Paul always wanted to stay in the Beatles and John/George always wanted out

John Lennon’s sexuality

Internalized homophobia, intentionally spreading rumours about being gay + people thinking he was joking (John Lennon invented queerbaiting in 1963 did you know?), revealing comments from John and others about his sexuality, replacing Paul with Yoko, jealousy over Paul, flirting with Paul

Quotes about the Lennon-Mccartney rivalry & John's insecurity

The ramifications of Yesterday, a fear of abandonment, ego death, and having a relentlessly productive, competitive soulmate

John not meaning what he says

"Yeah, I was lying" [laughs]

Paul hurting John

The extent to and ways in which John claimed Paul hurt him and Paul's struggle to understand wtf happened

Paul wrangling John

Paul understands the importance of public relations and affectionately straightening ties

Beatles defending each other

Only Beatles can talk shit about Beatles

Paul trying and sometimes failing to be chill about Yoko

WHO KNOWS, YOKO?

Just insane mclennon things

Shit where you're like "I can't believe that actually happened??" Often not in a good way

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Those John and Paul moments ... (Ready, Steady, Go rehearsals, 1963, full video here)

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Neil Gaiman having a tumblr blog (especially after GO s2) feels like the equivalent of ao3 authors advertising their blogs in the notes after the most heart-wrenching fic you have read in your life.

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Hyperfixate on some Freak Shit.

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so true

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Part 5 less go

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did anyone else notice that the closer yellow gets to discovering lesley, the more the clump starts to become more independent?? like, the whole theme of dhmis is like ‘it’s a kid’s show but with gore and it’s disturbing’ and so they all follow these norms. but, even before smart yellow shows up and starts questioning everything, we see some freedom in the characters.

in ep4 red outright states that the clump lives in a nightmare and he says that he hates the house in ep5, when he tries to leave. in ep6 they seem a little conforming, but both duck and red guy swear (breaking disturbing kid’s show rules) and, of course, the “i like looking at you scene”. (i think the romance in this show is another example of independence and breaking free of their norms so them glancing at each other in the transport episode during the song 100% counts)

thank you for coming to my tedtalk

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another stranger things take because i am not normal about this show:

THE DUFFERS HAVE BEEN SETTING UP BYLER SINCE S1.

everything, down to costumes and music, is carefully put together. it is ALL on purpose. all this evidence that we’ve been finding is there on purpose.

karen’s queer-coded talk to mike in s1? on purpose. mike’s constant closet imagery? on purpose. mike and will’s costuming correlating to each other especially in s4 with the green, blue, and yellow? on purpose. all of it is completely intentional.

in s5, we are going to get requited byler. i am sure of it.

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YES!!! and then he sees why joyce likes him so much and trusts him around will and maybe mike will finally get a proper father figure in his life

i love the ‘hopper is okay with will being gay and dating a guy but hates that it’s mike’ trope but the better trope is ‘hopper is okay with will being gay and dating a guy but hates that it’s mike until he sees this total change in mike’. unlike how mike was with el, mike and will are not constantly making out and sneaking off to suck face somewhere. instead, they talk, draw together, actually DO things together instead of just kissing which was what hopper solely saw el and mike doing. he notes that mike seems happier and more like himself and that he makes will happy and he treats him with respect and love. then he starts to like mike a little bit.

all in all, i think that hopper’s problem with mike is that he knew that milkdud was super toxic and he blamed it on mike.

[sylvie-stardust]

i love the ‘hopper is okay with will being gay and dating a guy but hates that it’s mike’ trope but the better trope is ‘hopper is okay with will being gay and dating a guy but hates that it’s mike until he sees this total change in mike’. unlike how mike was with el, mike and will are not constantly making out and sneaking off to suck face somewhere. instead, they talk, draw together, actually DO things together instead of just kissing which was what hopper solely saw el and mike doing. he notes that mike seems happier and more like himself and that he makes will happy and he treats him with respect and love. then he starts to like mike a little bit.

all in all, i think that hopper’s problem with mike is that he knew that milkdud was super toxic and he blamed it on mike.

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cant like, duck and red just kiss??? im getting sick of them being gay! im going to be homophobic at this point!

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@styleweek Day 3~

spooky & stars 🐺🦇