symphonyinsea

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i never realised

you would be so kind but now

i know i love you

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One of the pics didn’t work for some reason...

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Thanks @studiousmedic for the tag! Lock screen is Edinburgh in the snow, from the uni library. Man I miss Scotland sometimes! Last song I listened to was Redemption by Joe Bonamassa - my boyfriend has been getting me into the blues!

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60 hours

Sixty hours

You gotta be tough

Sixty hours

It’s ten minutes of a sunrise every day

and then time is lost as you walk the long white corridors

Sixty hours

And a thousand conversations, people sad

Afraid, relieved, surprised, beaten,

about to live through their worst days while we

look on

try to comfort

share in the pain

But not too much or I will break

and we can’t have that, can we?

Sixty hours

The alarm goes off, a girl screams, she’s shaking, she’s dying

oh no she’s not

I feel impotent, thank God the others aren’t.

I mean, I know what to do

(don’t I?)

but I get too involved and can’t move my feet,

hope the others didn’t notice...

A phone call, a patient has died

A bleep, can you check this one is dead? He’s still warm - 

They say we should prioritise the living, the dead are

at peace

hopefully

Sixty hours

I can’t stop thinking about the man from last week. I told him

He had cancer - I had to - and his family and

then I had to take away his will when he was afraid of murder

and then I can’t bring myself to take away her choice to stay with her partner 

who hurts and steals and bullies because 

she says she’ll be okay.

Who gave me the right?

Sixty hours

My father told me, expect to leave two hours late every day. 

Then you’ll be happy when it’s only one hour.

But it still doesn’t feel fair. 

It doesn’t feel fair that that a son should be told his father is dying, or

a person’s will is taken away when they are under the delusion they are sane

or a criminal gets the best care when he is abusing it or a disabled man 

can’t tell us what’s wrong

or I forget the name of a patient who died.

There’s only so much brain space and when you’re overwhelmed by 

the problems of today and can barely remember last week, much less 

last month because you’re always so tired and behind and it’s

work eat sleep repeat - 

But you chose this, right?

Sixty hours

And it’s worth it when you make that person smile,

When you’ve got the diagnosis and can start treatment,

When you’ve managed someone’s pain,

When somebody understands what’s going on because you’ve 

taken the time to explain.

When someone says, ‘Thank you, doctor!’

Doctor

The word still feels unfamiliar

I still feel like a child playing dress-up.

But I gotta believe that’s how they see me -

when people say I’m ‘hardworking’, ‘on it’, ‘capable’,

‘communicate effectively’, ‘a good team player’

when inside I’m still shaking...

Sixty hours

with thousands more to come 

So far, it’s still worth it.

And maybe one day I’ll feel competent,

Maybe one day, I’ll believe it.

[symphonyinsea]

asia

i’ve always wanted to do a piece that celebrates asia for it’s diversity and richness, and I finally got around to doing it 🙂

prints / twitter / ig

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He has a freaking 6-pack and I had no idea 😅

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Graduation

Summer rains and birdsong,

Mountains, valleys, lying long

You were laughing in the sun

While ocean breeze sang out for one

Last chance to be us

Give us a week and you will see,

Give it a month and we will be

In far-off lands, adventurers

Becoming who we always were

When I called you brother

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For a while now, when I’ve been missing somebody like crazy, my thoughts automatically go, ‘miss you like a hole in the head’.  Today, I thought about the phrase and where I picked it up, because it’s kinda strange, isn’t it? I mean, ‘hole in the heart’ would make more sense, surely. So, I googled it, and found that it came from that classic song by the Sugababes, ‘Hole In The Head’. Who knew. And who would have guessed that my subconscious would have picked it up as the most appropriate phrase to describe how I’m feeling.

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by Mehmet Geren | Prints available here: www.curioos.com/mehmetgeren

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Sandra Cisneros, from My Wicked Wicked Ways: Poems; “One Last Poem for Richard,” (x)

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Drifting

i hate that i still

care so much about you and

what we could have been

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Cleaning women washing a crucifix, 1938

via reddit

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You’ve got time, Calm down

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