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Let's Be Real[istic]

I haven't been to the gym since I went back to work after maternity leave (September 6, 2019). Today, I found the energy to do a 20-minute fartlek and 20 x 7 jump squats.

I had such high expectations of myself: to lose all the baby weight by Harlowe's 1st birthday. My body disagreed and decided it would lose most of the weight after that first year.

I could blame Instagram for these unrealistic goals, but I will take full responsibility. My body grew, carried and birthed an entire human (and, not trying to brag, a brand new organ to feed said human). It did all of that, and I just expected it to go back to "normal".

Well guess what? This is the new normal. I will never be the same again. I don't know if you're ok with that, but it doesn't really matter. Because I am.

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My Birth Plan vs. My Birth Story

I know they say your birth will never go as planned, but I was not expecting it to be so far off from what I had envisioned!  I’m going to get quite detailed with this post, mainly because I want to be able to refer to this down the road, when my mommy brain has taken over and my recollection becomes blurry!

My Birth Plan

July 6, 2018

I scheduled this day as my last day of work to give me two weeks of relaxation (if you can call it that) before the baby came.  I had already finished nesting about two weeks prior to this (in hindsight, perhaps my body was trying to tell me that this baby was coming early), so I didn’t have any real plans, other than enjoying the last of my alone time.  Other than doing some café-hopping, I was happy to stay home and not have to waddle to/from work in the heat, which is amplified when you are pregnant.

July 20, 2018

This was my due date.  On or around this date, I was planning on welcoming our baby into the world at the Toronto Birth Centre as my pregnancy was uncomplicated.  To people who didn’t know about TBC, I had described it as a “birthing hotel”.  Each of their three birthing rooms (we had chosen the Cedar room) was equipped with a birth pool and shower.  Nitrous oxide, TENS machines, birth stools, suspended slings, birth balls as well as a variety of other options for comfort and pain management were available, and believe me when I say I was planing on trying all of them!  Narcotics, epidural, and other interventions including medical induction and augmentation of labour, continuous electronic fetal monitoring, instrumental delivery (forceps and vacuum) and c-section are not available at the birth centre.  I hadn’t decided if I was going to pull our baby out, if Andrew would pull her out, or if we would just leave it to our midwives, but I did know I wanted immediate skin-to-skin contact and wanted to delay the cutting of the umbilical cord until it stopped pulsating.

My Birth Story

June 26, 2018

At a routine visit, our backup midwife (who is amazing, but does not have the years of experience that our primary midwife has) felt the baby was in head-down position, but she wasn’t absolutely certain.  She suggested getting an ultrasound just to confirm, which we were happy to do (any opportunity to see the baby)!  At our previous visit, our primary midwife (who has 20+ years experience) was positive that the baby was head-down, so she was puzzled as to why our backup midwife ordered an ultrasound.

June 29, 2018

This set of ultrasounds was the beginning of a route we were not expecting to take.  At our scheduled morning ultrasound, we learned that the baby was head-down, however, according to the sonographer, she wasn’t moving.  I wasn’t too concerned as (a) I hadn’t noticed a decrease in fetal movement and (b) the sonographer didn’t seem to know what she was doing (I won’t call her out here, but if you want to know where not to go, holler at me).  She asked us to return later in the day in hopes that the baby would be awake (she blamed me for the baby being asleep).

When we came back that afternoon, all the sonographer told us was that she got the images she needed, and she did not seem as concerned as she was that morning.  Hours later, we received a call from our primary midwife who had just spoken to the sonographer.  The sonographer told her that the baby wasn’t showing any breathing movement and her body growth was in a much lower percentile for her gestational age.  Our primary midwife was not concerned as she also sensed that the sonographer did not know what she was talking about, however, because of what was written in the ultrasound report, we had to get another ultrasound to confirm.  As it was Canada Day long weekend, we were unable to get another ultrasound until the following Tuesday, which meant three whole days of worrying about our baby.

July 3, 2018

After what seemed like an extra long weekend of sleeplessness and obsessing over each movement the baby made, we were finally able to get another ultrasound, this time at Women’s College Hospital.  This sonographer confirmed there was breathing movement, which was a huge relief, however, her concern was the level of amniotic fluid, which had dropped to level 6.  Anything at level 5 or below would mean I would have to be induced.  Up until this point (aside from a car accident we had in May – we were rear-ended, and after being monitored at the hospital, it was confirmed that the baby was ok), my pregnancy had been going smoothly, so this news was very unexpected.  My primary midwife suggested to stay hydrated and get another ultrasound in a few days.  Another few days of worrying…and drinking all the water.

July 6, 2018

8:30 AM

I didn’t see it this way at the time because I was overcome with concern, but this ultrasound was potentially a game changer – we were either having our baby now, or she would get a couple more weeks to bake!  Unfortunately our experience with this sonographer was similar to the one we had on June 29.  She was visibly disturbed throughout the ultrasound and kept leaving to talk to the radiologist.  When we were done, she advised us to wait in the waiting room for the results.  Moments later, she rushes over to us, frantically tells us that we need to immediately go to Emergency at Mount Sinai Hospital, doesn’t give us any explanation as to what the emergency is, and runs to the back to speak further to the radiologist.  First of all, to my knowledge, sonographers are not to discuss the ultrasound with their patients or deliver the results.  Secondly, this woman clearly was not trained to deal with emergency situations, but seemed to be an expert in making worried expectant parents even more worried.

Thankfully, my midwife called a few minutes later to clarify that she had spoken to the radiologist and that I did need to go to Mount Sinai, but to Triage and not Emergency.  My amniotic fluid level was now below level 5 and I was going to be induced.  While on the phone with my midwife, the sonographer returned and apologized for losing her cool earlier.

11:30 AM

We arrived at the hospital and I was so happy to see our midwife, our source of care and comfort throughout our pregnancy.  As we chatted about the ultrasound and next steps, she looked me in the eyes, smiled, embraced me and said “you are having your baby today!”  I immediately started to tear up, I was so emotional, of course excited, but also so worried about the health of our baby.  When you naturally transition from early labour to active labour, you kind of have time to get used to the idea that your baby will arrive soon.  In my situation, it kinda went from 0 to 100!

Our midwife requested another ultrasound to confirm my amniotic fluid levels again.  This second ultrasound indicated that my amniotic fluid was pretty much gone.  Because it was an especially busy day at Mount Sinai, we were worried that we would get transferred to another hospital, where our midwife would not have privileges and the baby would be delivered by an OB we didn’t know.  However, because I had no more fluid, it would be unsafe to transfer me, so we were allowed to stay, which was a huge relief for us as we really wanted our midwife with us.

5:30 PM

Once we were transferred from Triage to a labour room, I was induced first via foley bulb (see below) to encourage the cervix to dilate.  The insertion of the foley bulb is supposed to be very painful, but thankfully I didn’t feel a thing.

A Foley catheter can also be used to ripen the cervix during induction of labor. When used for this purpose, the procedure is called extra-amniotic saline infusion.  In this procedure, the balloon is inserted behind the cervical wall and inflated, such for example with 30 mL of saline. The remaining length of the catheter is pulled slightly taut and taped to the inside of the woman’s leg. The inflated balloon applies pressure to the cervix as the baby’s head would prior to labor, causing it to dilate. As the cervix dilates over time, the catheter is readjusted to again be slightly taut and re-taped to maintain pressure. When the cervix has dilated sufficiently, the catheter drops out.

7:45 PM

As the foley bulb was [very slowly] doing its thing, my midwife started me on pitocin (administered in 15-minute intervals) to get some contractions going. Unlike the foley bulb, the pitocin started working in no time…half an hour later and I felt my first contraction. Throughout my pregnancy, I was dying to know what a contraction felt like. Women often have trouble describing them, other than calling them the “worst pain you will ever feel”. I will say that although they are painful, I can think of other things that could cause more pain. I would describe them as extreme menstrual cramps. However (*spoiler alert*), I didn’t have to deal with the contractions as long as other women have, so it’s possible that i didn’t get to feel the contractions at their full worst-pain-you-will-ever-feel potential. I actually found it way more painful when my midwife (or the doctor) had to check my cervix to see how dilated it was.

For me, breathing through the contractions was the key to pain management. Andrew applying firm counter-pressure on my lower back was also very helpful. I also tried different positions, but it was difficult because I had to be hooked up to the monitor throughout the labour process. Any time I wanted to get out of bed, we had to disconnect and reconnect the monitors. I tried swaying on a birthing ball, which I didn’t find helpful, as well as standing with my upper body bent and bracing the [raised] bed. I would have loved to try standing in the shower and using water as a distraction from the pain, but that wasn’t an option due to the need to be constantly monitored.

July 7, 2018

1:15 AM

Almost 8 hours after it was inserted, my midwife was routinely checking on my foley bulb and was easily able to remove it (rather than it falling out). I had finally dilated to [only] 5 centimetres. This was progress, but not enough to start pushing.

2:30 AM

My midwife was assessing my cervix and she decided to break my water in hopes that my dilation would progress.

4:30 AM

I had been dealing with my contractions up to this point, but was pretty exhausted. I’m pretty sure Andrew and I were dozing off between contractions. My midwife posed a question that caught me off guard. After assuring me that I was doing a great job dealing with the contractions and applauding me for being so strong, she asked if I wanted an epidural. She figured that if I got the epidural, then I would be able to get some rest, and that would hopefully allow my cervix to further dilate, as it was still at 5 centimetres. It was a tough decision for me, but I fully trusted that my midwife, knowing my desire for a natural birth, wouldn’t have suggested an epidural without good reason, so I decided to go ahead with it. Looking back, I think she recommended the epidural because she knew I was going to end up having a (*spoiler alert*) c-section.

I’ve heard scary things about getting an epidural. Now, I was on the verge of passing out, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Mind you, I didn’t see the needle, which I’m told is massive. It was difficult to be able to sit still, bent over, while dealing with contractions to have the epidural administered…but once it started flowing, I did not feel a damn thing. Enough for me and Andrew to take a 3-hour recovery nap! 

8:00 AM

As our primary midwife had been awake for 24 hours, it was now time for her to get rest. Our backup midwife showed up and was debriefed with the details of what transpired thus far. She specifically pointed out that overnight, the baby’s heart rate would sometimes drop while I was contracting, indicating that the baby was in stress. After a couple of hours, I had still not progressed from 5 centimetres. I think at this point I dozed off again as I was now officially placed on the c-section list, but had quite a few women in place ahead of me.

11:00 AM

Being monitored the entire time in labour, the sound of our baby’s heartbeat played constantly in the background. And being in labour, you are not really in a deep, restful sleep. Around this time, I was asleep but could hear that our baby’s heartrate was somewhat irregular. I was woken up by our backup midwife to try to change my position to see if it made a difference. This seemed to make it better, but a doctor came in to examine me just in case. He said I had now progressed to 8 centimeters and that we could potentially try a vaginal delivery, which was such a huge relief for me. Now this is where everything went from 0 to 100 (again). While Andrew was taking a bathroom break, the baby’s heart rate dropped again. A bunch of doctors rushed into the room, quickly assessed me and said the baby needed to come out now. One of doctors assured me, in a very sweet way, that everything was ok, so I must have looked worried even though I surprisingly felt calm (I knew I had to stay calm for the baby’s sake). I will never forget that doctor’s quick but meaningful reassurance, as I didn’t expect that type of heartfelt care in a hospital. And just like that, I was wheeled out of our room, Grey’s Anatomy style, all while Andrew was still in the washroom. There was a woman about to go into the OR ahead of me but she had to get back in line because my c-section was more urgent. As soon as I got into the OR, the baby’s heart rate had returned to normal, but I felt so bad for Andrew because he was not allowed in the room until everything was set up and he had no idea what was going on. Thankfully, our midwife was able to quickly update him on what was going on. It makes me sad to think about how extremely worried he was.

The doctors then started to choose a music playlist and I told them that I had no idea that’s what an OR was like! They explained that it was a good sign, and that because they had the luxury of choosing a playlist, it meant that our baby was ok. I was then strapped to the table with my arms out to the side (Jesus-on-the-cross style) and my epidural was topped up. From my neck to my toes, I could not feel a thing. Andrew was finally allowed in the room, dressed in a gown and cap. He sat by my side the entire time and didn’t look at what was happening, until the doctors urged him to get his phone out while they pulled our baby out of me. I could only see all of this via tv monitor.  The epidural made everything pretty hazy (sleepy and soon after nauseous), but I just remember having a permasmile on my face once I saw her face and heard her cry. She was then immediately taken to be cleaned and have the umbilical cord cut, again something I could only see via the monitor. That smile remained on my face until we finally met face to face (unfortunately, I couldn’t hold her because I couldn’t feel or move anything but my face).  At 12:22 PM, our beautiful daughter entered our world and changed it, in the very best way, forever.

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Naturally

In early 2017, after seeing a doctor regarding my irregular menstrual cycle and not getting the response I was seeking (her response to me telling her I hadn’t had my period in three months was, ‘Why do you want your period?’), I decided it was time to see a naturopath, and I’m so glad I did.

In addition to my irregular menstrual cycle, I experienced bouts of constipation (the longest lasting two weeks) despite my balanced diet, and I wanted to get everything back on track.  My naturopath treated my concerns with importance, and also asked if I wanted to have children soon, as she would prepare me for that as well.

To resolve my initial concerns, she had prescribed the following to be taken daily:

Probiotics

Slippery elm (to relieve constipation and to make me regular again)

PMS SAP (to regulate my menstrual cycle)

I was shocked at the results.  My systems were back to normal in no time!  I continued this regimen up until I found out I was pregnant, then my naturopath started me on a new prenatal regimen:

Pre Natal SAP (prenatal multivitamin, which you should actually start taking when you start trying to conceive)

Probio SAP (probiotic benefits the baby, who is exposed to the probiotic flora in the vaginal lining when he/she is born)

Vitamin D (as a source of energy for mom as well as to prevent preterm labour and infection)

DHA (omega-3 DHA to assist with baby’s brain development) to be stopped at 28 weeks

Raspberry Leaf Tea (to prepare the uterus for labour and shorten labour time) to be started at 28 weeks

Flora SAP (to prepare for the Group B Strep swab) to be started 10 days before swab

There is an additional supplement to take for cervical ripening, I will update this entry after my next naturopath appointment!

And of course, this is not to be taken as medical advice, just some insight as to what I did to prep for pregnancy and the routine I have maintained throughout my pregnancy.  The only advice to be taken from this post is to see a naturopath!

*UPDATE*

Evening primrose oil has been added to my regimen (to ripen the cervix) starting orally at week 36 and then vaginally at week 37 on days you are not having intercourse.

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Can you keep a secret?

There aren’t any hard and fast rules for when to announce your pregnancy, I think it’s all about what feels right for you.  We told our immediate families as soon as we were able to gather everyone together (we told my family at my birthday and Andrew’s family on his birthday, which are 11 days apart).  Keeping the news to ourselves for that long (which wasn’t long at all) was excruciating (for me at least)!  We wanted to tell everyone else (close family, friends and co-workers) once the first trimester had passed, since miscarriage is very common in the first trimester.  However, we were approaching Christmas, which meant lots of holiday parties, which meant lots of alcohol.  And me not drinking is basically unheard of.  In my first post, I mentioned a having a bacterial infection at the same time I found out I was pregnant.  Although dealing with the infection was very difficult (taking antibiotics and sticking to the BRAT diet while knowing there is a baby growing inside of me), it also helped me disguise my pregnancy for a while.  My loose-fitting minimalist wardrobe was also a huge help!

I was able to survive my work holiday party without breaking the news (Andrew made sure I always had a ginger ale in hand), however, I was super paranoid the whole time and was convinced everyone was on to me!  Although it would have been so much easier to just spill the beans, keeping it a secret until the end of the first trimester felt right.  We didn’t have the same luck at holiday gatherings with family/friends (and I knew I wouldn’t) so we had to share the news (which came with a sprinkle of hormonal mommy tears) just before the first trimester was complete.  As for social media, we didn’t post anything pregnancy related until about week 20 of my pregnancy (Andrew posted the photo above).  There was no real reason why we chose to wait that long, I think we were just waiting for the right photo opportunity to present itself!

I normally don’t find it that difficult to keep secrets, but this one was different.  This is the kind you are so happy about, you just want the world to know! 

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Food for Thought

I’ve been pretty good at eating healthy for the past seven years, I would say.  By pretty good, I mean eating breakfast every morning, subbing quinoa for rice, limiting my carb and sugar intake, making sure fruit and vegetables make their way to my stomach daily, making my lunch (which, during the week, is usually salad) and dinner, and not eating out too often (although, if you follow my tarabites account, no doubt you think I’m talking shit).  

As much as I thought I was taking good care of myself, I was amazed at how quickly one’s motherly instinct kicks in.  Suddenly, it’s not just your own health that you have to think about.  No longer am I putting off eating lunch until 2:00 or 3:00 PM because I am busy at work.  Instead, I’m making sure I have enough snacks at work, home, in the car and on-the-go and trying my best to eat the things that will help my baby’s health and development.  I am being more conscious about how food is cooked, handled and stored.  I’m not at all saying that I’m going to be the best mother, that’s not what I’m getting at.  I just think it’s crazy how little we can care about our own health and how instantly that can change when you discover you are pregnant and therefore responsible for the well-being of another.

On the other hand, we also use our pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever we want, and others tend to not pass judgement on what pregnant women eat because they are eating for two (which they actually aren’t).  I would be lying if I didn’t say I haven’t killed a bag of ketchup chips at least once during this pregnancy (I blame my husband for that one...chips are one of his weaknesses and he keeps buying them).  The difference I’ve noticed between eating junk while not pregnant vs. while pregnant is the overwhelming feeling of guilt that your baby is not benefiting from any of it.  Also, weighing yourself and seeing numbers on the scale you’ve never seen before tend to stop you from digging into your junk food drawer.  I’m thankful that (so far) I’ve only had one real food craving and it didn’t last that long (toasted bagels and cream cheese) and no food aversions.  What I do have is a long list of things I can’t wait to eat (and drink) once our baby girl is born!  Never thought I would miss runny egg yolks the way I do.

Pregnancy has absolutely changed my relationship with food.  There are some changes that I hope to maintain post-pregnancy, and others that will revert as soon as I’m able to do so!  Which reminds, me, I have a reservation at Kaji that I need to make!

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[excerpt from Birthing from Within]

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Oh honey, it's alright you cryin' and don't know why. Sometimes when a pregnant woman is cryin' over nothin' she cryin' for her baby 'cause it can't cry yet, and when she laugh over nothin' she laugh for her baby all happy in there.

Unknown [excerpt from Birthing from Within]

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Although I will never be able to forgive Sarah for how she treated Peter, I can’t deny the fact that Kristen Bell is actually hilarious.  And she keeps it real, which I always appreciate.  Check out episode 1 of 6 of her ellentube web series, Momsplaining!

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Signs & Symptoms

I’m very thankful to not have experienced morning sickness throughout my pregnancy (I threw up only once), but some of symptoms I did experience were:

Boobs

This was the first symptom to present itself, after the first 8 weeks or so.  After years of being an IBT Committee member, I finally got the boobs I never had.  At first, I was able to get away with a bra extender (God bless these things), but eventually I graduated a cup size and had to buy new bras.

My new boobs bounced when I jumped.  They wiggled and jiggled.  I had cleavage without the need of a pushup.  However, there was one major setback:  THEY HURT LIKE A MOTHER F*CKER!  The lightest touch was enough to make me groan in pain -- the slightest graze of a t-shirt, the removal of my bra, water streaming from a showerhead, even the simple act of getting out of bed!

Thankfully the pain subsided after the first trimester, so for now, I’m just enjoying the fact that they’re there (and hoping they stick around post-breastfeeding).

Nausea & Sensitivity to Smell

I experienced nausea and sensitivity to smell after the first 7 weeks, but this symptom lasted well into my second trimester.  We went out for dinner on my birthday to an Italian restaurant, and the scent of cheese on pasta and pizza were really triggering my gag reflex.  The nausea eased up as the weeks passed, but there were many evenings where I felt uneasy.  A cup of ginger tea or chewing on ginger candy were enough to make the nausea go away.

Cravings

I always wondered if pregnancy cravings were as strange and as strong as people made them seem.  I’ve only experienced one craving for a specific food, towards the end of my first trimester -- bagels with cream cheese --  but the craving for just bagels and cream cheese has now expanded into all forms of bread, and it’s become less of a craving for them and more of a strong attraction to them.

There was one night early in my pregnancy where I was craving juicy fruit (not the gum, but actual fruit that is juicy), so Andrew made a trip to the store to pick up mangoes and oranges.  That never happened again, probably because I’ve been eating fruit consistently throughout my pregnancy.

Exhaustion

This is the strongest (and longest) symptom for me, and rightfully so, my body is manufacturing another human!  I’ve heard that exhaustion fades in the second semester, but I’ve yet to experience that.  I haven’t been tired enough to take naps during work hours, but I do feel super drained by midday and even more so when I get home from work.  It’s hard to combat these feelings when you’re only allowed 200mg of caffeine a day!  I admit that I don’t nap as much as I probably should, since I’ll probably never know real sleep again once this baby is here.  But I do very much enjoy falling asleep way before my bed time on the couch.  Couch sleeps are the best sleeps!

Crazy Dreams

My dreams have become much more vivid, similar to the kind you get when you pop some melatonin before bed.  If we’re getting specific, I’ve had at least one dream about each of my ex-boyfriends, and even about less significant men in my life.  And apparently I’m not the only one!

Other

There is a slew of other signs & symptoms I have experienced, none of which I really care to share on a public forum, but chances are, whatever signs & symptoms you’re experiencing, however unwelcome they are, are normal and a result of your fluctuating hormones.  Be proud of them!  If I’ve taken anything from these changes in my body, it’s that women are fucking amazing!  Our bodies have the power to bring life into this world (with some help from the opposite sex, of course) and to accommodate another body within our own!  How insane is that?!

*UPDATE*

After writing this post, my linea nigra appeared.  I also developed chest acne and experienced swelling in the hands and feet in the third trimester.

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Carbs

This child loves them way more than I do!  Especially bagels toasted with cream cheese.

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I literally was told about the Ovia Pregnancy app just now and wish I had known about it sooner! I haven’t explored all its features, but the feature I am most interested in (and the very reason why my friend told me about it) is the food safety lookup! Once you download the app, create and login to your account, go to More, scroll down to Tools and select Food safety lookup. It has an extensive list of foods you can/can’t eat while pregnant, and the reasons why you can/can’t eat them! Now my Google history can consist of things other than “can I eat [insert food here] while pregnant?”

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Mama: You were really partying hard last night in my tummy, I could barely sleep!

Baby Girl: Just trying to wake you up for that morning workout you wanted to do! You're welcome!

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Positive

I have always been drawn to kids -- I love taking care of them (nothing more heartwarming than a child falling asleep on your chest) and playing with them (I’m all about releasing my inner child) and couldn’t wait to have children of my own.  Leading up to our wedding, I was so excited at the thought that we were getting closer to start a family. 

We have a lot of family and friends who have kids, and one piece of consistent advice was to do all the things you want to do as a couple before you have a family.  We took this advice very seriously and made sure we did a decent amount of travelling before trying to have a baby.  BC (Vancouver & Whistler), California (San Diego), Maui, Japan (Tokyo, Hakone & Osaka) and France (Aix-en-Provence and Paris) all in one year...not bad, right?!  On the other hand, we also didn’t want to wait too long to try to conceive, in case we encountered any difficulty with that.

We decided to officially start trying after we returned from our honeymoon in September 2017.  I had been tracking my menstrual cycle via the Clue app, made use of ovulation test strips and monitored my bodily functions (there’s a more accurate word I could’ve used but I’ll spare you the details) quite seriously.

Fast forward to November 2017, Andrew and I had just returned from Paris and I was sick. Like running-to-the-toilet-every-hour kind of sick.  And it was not vomit.  Troubles of the tummy variety to be more specific.  This went on for an entire day before I decided to see a doctor.  I gave her the rundown and as part of her list of questions she asked me when I had my last period.  I casually told her I hadn’t had it for 45 days, which was normal for me as my period has always been irregular.  To be safe, in addition to testing me for a bacterial infection she was going to test me for pregnancy (yay! for free pregnancy tests).

The doctor returned after a couple of minutes and proclaimed, “So, you tested positive...”, and just let that information float around in the air for a bit.  “...you’re pregnant!”, she finally added.  I was in shock that it happened so quickly (and very grateful for that fact)!  I was overwhelmed with all sorts of feelings...happiness, concern (about all the alcohol and uncooked food I had in Paris), excitement, and curiosity about what my next steps were supposed to be.

I sat outside of the walk-in clinic and called my husband immediately, tears flowing.  He was worried and thought something was seriously wrong with my stomach (which, after the submission of stool samples -- something I hope nobody ever has to do in their life -- I learned was a bacterial infection), he had no idea I was being tested for pregnancy.  I would have loved to have told him the good news in person, but there was no way I could wait until the end of his work day to tell him that.  In hindsight, I guess I could have walked to his work and told him, but I don’t have that kind of patience!  

I had drummed up all these ideas of how I was going to surprise him with my pregnancy news (which I guess I’ll have to save until next time), but if I could go back and change how it all happened I wouldn’t.  Just like I said to Andrew at our wedding...sometimes the best moments in life are the ones unplanned!