#+ the tshirt cannons I couldn't fit in

[echofades]

PARKER & HARDISON - Leverage: Redemption | 2.01 - 2.03

[twstfanblog]

!*~Valentine's Times~*! pt 4

A/N: This is all crack and just little things that popped into my head while making this fic that I couldn't find a place to put. Have fun! Word Count: 2.6K Warnings: She/They Pronoun OC, Swearing, Mild Spicy at the end, Word Vomit Crack Ideas Pairings: Poly Yuu/Azul/Jamil/Malleus, Riddle/Floyd, Jade/Trey, Ruggie/Leona, Epel/Deuce/Jack/Ace/Sebek, Sebek/Silver, Cater/Idia, Rook/Vil

L (Here). O (Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle). V (Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia). E (Here)

E is even more than anyone that you adore...

Sam huffs, looking down at Grim as the dire beast struggled to drag his multiple bags of treats out of his store, “...You know for an extra fee-”

“NO! I DON'T NEED IT!”

“Alright then…” Sam grabs his own bag of chocolate, snapping a bones in half with his teeth. Sure watching Grim was slow and kinda sad, but it was a form of entertainment.

Deuce entered the Heartslabyul kitchen, smiling as he saw Trey standing in front of the ovens, “Ah! Clover-Senpai you aren't busy. Yuu's here and they said they have something for us.”

Trey remained silence, eyes unblinking as they watched the numerous cakes in the oven.

“...” Deuce’s eyes glance at the ovens before turning back to Trey, “Clover-Senpai?” At Trey's continued silence Deuce grows worried. After a few more moments of silence he snaps his fingers in front of Trey’s face, nearly jumping out of his skin as Trey suddenly breathes in.

Trey blinks rapidly, looking around the room, “Huh? What? Deuce?...What did you need?”

“Were you asleep!?”

“No…ok, I was resting my eyes. But, I have a timer set.”

“Senpai, your eyes were open…”

Riddle knelt below a second story window of Heartslabyul, fiddling with a tube at his feet.

Trey walked from the side, “Ah, there you are. The party is starting. Do you want to greet the other students?”

Looking up, Riddle sighed at seeing the number of bite marks littering Trey’s arms and neck, “I see you gifted Jade his chocolate.”

“He was…excited. Are you going to be giving Floyd his chocolate?”

“Was just about to.” Riddle smiles, holding up the tube to reveal it was a tshirt cannon with his bag of chocolate as the ammo.

“...Riddle, just give Floyd the chocolate.”

Riddle lines up his shot, aiming directly at Floyd's head where he stood pouting beside his brother teasingly holding his own treats, “This is the only safe way…”

Rook smiles at Vil's bag of chocolate, “I wasn't aware mon vieille amor could tie such intricate knots! Truly beautiful.”

Vil hums from his vanity, toying with having his hair up or down, “Oh…no. Tulip did the bows apparently…”

“...” Rook racked his mind, but the name wasn't finding a face, “Tulip?”

“You don't remember Tulip?” Vil looked questioningly at Rook through the mirror, “Do you recall our first ‘date'?”

“Oui! We went for a lovely walk through the Pomefiore woods at sunset….”

“And you remember what happened on said date?”

Rook sighed, placing his cheek in his palm as he remembered that faithful walk, “Oui… a bird flew out from the bush and in its panic attacked you. A thousand apologies that I could not protect you back then mon roi…”

“You've long been forgiven Rook. But yes…‘A bird’ flew into my face and basically assaulted me while also managing to rip off a noticeable length of my uniform.” 

“So, how does this Tulip fit into this?”

“Tulip was the ‘bird’…”

Jade made sure to keep his palm open, though he so deeply wanted to clench his fist around the forage fairy. A desperate voice in his head (that sounded oddly similar to Trey Clover) screamed that forage fairies did not like being gripped. But, he wanted to know what the fairy would do if he did…no…he had riddles to solve.

Riddles that were quickly sidetracked by Jade showing the fairy his assortment of terrariums, the fairy excitedly pointing at the mushrooms. But soon, Jade remembered the promised location of the unseen mushrooms. Franklin looked at him with a wide eyed stare, only to gestured to his phone.

Jade gave the device to the small fairy. Clearly the fairy was going to use a text program to write out the riddles since they weren't able to communicate verbally. But, looking at his phone from the corner of his eyes he had to fight back the urge to cackle. Franklin was using his phone to google ‘Riddles for Children’.

Malleus beamed from his place at the table. He had no idea why Jamil was scolding Azul, but he was content with his grouping of lovers.

Azul clears his throat, finally verbally lashed into submission, “Any how. Yuu, we have your gifts.”

“Bout time.”

“Stop being rude.” Jamil hands Yuu a wrapped present. Watching them open it with a nervous eye.

Yuu opens the gift to be delighted. A set of bangles, each molded to resemble snakes whined into a loose loop, “I love them!” They slip the bangles on, instantly shaking their wrist around to hear them jingle, “Now you can hear me coming.”

Azul mutters under his breath, “Thank the Seven…anyhow here's my gift.”

Massive teardrop pearl earrings dangling from seashell themed clasps. Yuu hums, holding them closer to look at every detail, “I need an outfit to go with these earrings you know~.”

“Yes, yes. I'm aware.” Azul smiles, looking to the side, “I've already selected a few outfits.”

Jamil raises an eyebrow, clicking his tongue when Azul only teasingly smiles at him.

Malleus smiles, proudly presenting his gift to Yuu. Waiting patiently as they opened it. 

“...Malleus, I love you so much, but I can't wear this.”

“Why not?” Malleus pouted, eyebrows furrowing in both confusion and discontent.

Yuu reaches into the box, pulling out an ornate tiara themed after the dark fae covered in glittering gems, “Malleus, the person I will become if I put this on my head is an actual danger to the well being of people around us.”

Azul leaned over the table, eyes wide as he drank in every gem on the crown. Jamil hiss whispered to Malleus, “We agreed on simple jewelry.”

“It is. This is one of my grandmother's less formal tiaras.”

Idia and Cater sat in a hidden corner of the maze, a few turns away from the main party. They sat in silence, each with an arm entwined as they tapped away at their phones. Cater hums, holding his phone to catch Idia’s attention.

“Look babe. An artist I follow did a Valentine's pic of that character you like.”

Idia’s eyes widen, a smile pulling across his face, “Ah…send me the link. I have to save that pic. It's so hard to find people who can draw his hair right…”

Cater chuckles and sends the link, “Well his hair is literally just water, it kind of leaves it open to how ever you draw water…”

“Ok, but it's literally-”

They both jump at the sound of loud, cackling laughter and the sound of snapping branches. Cater untensing first as he recognized the sound of his housewarden demanding Floyd cease his actions, “Guess Floyd finally caught Riddle…”

“Idk how you deal with this level of wild every day. I would have crumbled from the constant social crits…”

From their tucked away corner, the two could see a smug looking Floyd sporting a black eye walking through the maze. A ruffled and leaf covered Riddle slung over his shoulder like a prized hunt.

Cater sighs, leaning to rest his head against Idia’s shoulder and intertwine their hands together; pretending to not notice his boyfriend’s hair turning a bright shade of pink, “You get used to it.”

Maleficia stared into the box. A Valentine's gift from the human child her grandson had fallen for. Odd, yet not fully unwelcomed. No matter what the council said, this could only be seen as a sign of goodwill and hope for a strong familiar bond in their future.

So she put on the gaudily colored ring, its stone massive yet illy cut. The girl was poor, it was most likely the best she could afford and Maleficia will praise her efforts. But the ring also gave off a sugary fruit smell, one that (shamefully) urged her to bring the ring to her mouth and lick it.

She exclaims in surprise, turning to one of the maids beside her. With a smile she lifts her hand, showing the servant the brightly red gemmed ring on her finger, “It tastes of candied cherries.”

Jamil buried his face in his hands, “You sent the reigning queen of Briar Valley a Ring Pop.”

“A cherry Ring Pop. Because she's worth it.” Yuu turns to Malleus, the fae clearly delighted by the very idea of his grandmother being gifted children's candy, “I thought blue raspberry, but that might have been too wild for her.”

“Blue raspberries in the valley are poisonous. So, yes, that would have been a bad idea.

Azul pushes up his glasses, “Well now I want to know what you sent my mother…”

“A bunch of those octo truffles I made you. Plus a note stating that was how many grandkids we were gonna make.”

Azul spurts, barely catching Malleus’s approving hum and Jamil’s small nod, “Yuu!”

“What? I know what that woman wants to hear. It's literally why she tried to trick you into proposing already.”

Jamil rolls his eyes, “What did you send my family?”

“Oh I sent Najma and your dad some really high end chocolates Kalim recommended. Your mom got a delightful edible arrangement of chocolate dipped persimmons.”

“...” Jamil squinted his eyes, frown deepening at Yuu, “My mom hates persimmons…”

Yuu nods, “ I know. But she doesn't know I know that.”

“Stop engaging in psychological warfare with my mother…”

“No. It's how we bond”

“Father, please.”

Lilia pouted, almost fully folding his face in half, “Another year…another trip around the sun…another season with no love from my precious boy…”

Silver sighs, looking to the side, “Father those cards weren’t even good.”

“I miss when you were a baby…”

Kalim appeared at their table, “Lilia! I have a gift for you!” He produced a glitter filled piece of construction paper, “Since you said you missed getting them, I made you a homemade Valentine!”

“...” Lilia fanned his face, crocodile tears appearing in the corner of his eyes, “Oh Kalim…you persona of the sun…You’ve eased my heart…”

Silver leans over to whisper, “Truly, thank you for this. He was becoming insufferable.”

“You’re welcome?”

“I see the Leech got you.”

Riddle scowled up at Leona, his hair a mess and leaves scattered in his hair, “He tackled me into a bush…”

“Maybe little guys like you shouldn’t be fucking such big predators?”

“I don’t think size is the problem.” Riddle smirked up at Leona’s questioning glare.

“The hell does that mean?”

“I’ve just noticed that Bucchi has gold dust on his hands.”

“And?”

“Oh, so you are unaware of the gold hand prints on the seat of your pants.”

“...”

Rook tilted his head, staring as Vil glared at a single chocolate crown, “Mon roi? Is there a problem with your chocolates?”

“I know Yuu…something is wrong with these though I don’t know how much they’ve messed with them…” Vil hummed under his breath before smiling. He waves Epel over, ignoring the lavender haired boy groaning and leaving his table.

“What?”

Vil hands Epel the crown in his hand, “Happy Valentine’s Day. Have fun with your boys.”

Epel raises an eyebrow, but smiles and moves to toss the whole chocolate into his mouth, “Don’t gotta tell me twice…” He only chews for a few moments before his face sours and he starts to hack and spit the chocolate out, “Why is this filled with mayo!?”

Vil smirks at Rook, “And that’s how you out smart a trickster…” He puts another crown into his mouth, scowling and instantly spiting it out into a napkin when he bites into another mayo filled chocolate.

Rook smiles, batting his eyelashes, “I’ve learned so much.”

Yuu looked at their boyfriends, “What are you guys doing later tonight? I would have thought you’d be trying to convince me to do a private dinner with you.”

Jamil raised an eyebrow, “Didn’t you tell us, and I quote, ‘I love you guys, but leave me the fuck alone after the Valentine’s day party’?”

“Well I still thought you’d try to convince me.”

Azul pushes up his glasses, a small smile on his face as his pride pushed through, “We’re all having a private dinner at the lounge.”

“...” Yuu beams, hands slapping against the table, “Are you guys going on a date? Without me!?”

Malleus laughs, bringing a hand to his mouth, “You sound so excited…”

“I am!” They giggle, cupping their cheeks, “Aw~ My boyfriends are going on a date with each other!”

Jamil shook his head, “If the me of a year could see me now, I would not believe this was how my life would end up…”

Azul smiles, placing a hand over Jamil’s, “Our lives.”

“Azul, I could end both of us, right here, right now.”

Epel chugged his drink, trying to erase the taste of mayo.

Deuce raised an eyebrow to Sebek, “Are you going to sit with us the whole party? I know you and Silver are together, too.”

Sebek nodded, one hand holding onto Jack’s hand, “There’s no need to worry. Silver and I made out for an hour and cuddled before we left for the party.”

Ace tilted his head, offering Epel a chocolate from their shared pile of gifted treats, “The fact you and Silver have your relationship down to a schedule is so…weird…”

“How is it weird? I have my time between you four and Silver perfectly balanced. I’m able have plenty of dates with you all and a majority of my Diasomnia hours are spent with Silver. Healthy balance.”

Epel finished his drink, grabbing the chocolate and chewing with his mouth open, “Sebek, honestly, the fact you’re managing to fuck and have a relationship with five people while also having good grades? You’re a fucking god.”

Ace clicks his tongue, “What like we’re not doing the same thing?”

Jack speaks up, “Aren’t you failing english?”

Ortho sat at a table, eyes creased in joy as his brother and Cater returned from their ‘social recharge’. The First Year crew had each giving his a kiss on his forehead or cheek. Giving him a new total of  ten kisses counting both Kalim and Lilia’s added kisses. Looking around the party, ortho quickly floated to Rook and Vil, “Vil Schoenheit! May I request something of you?”

Vil blinked, “Of course Ortho. What did you need?”

“May I please have a Valentine’s day kiss? I am hoping to collect one from all of my loved ones on campus.”

Rook gasps, smiling as he held his hands up, “How bold! May I gift you a kiss Monsieur Wonder?”

“We are not that close.”

Both Rook and Vil stifled their laughs, “Fair.”

Vil smiles, tucking his hair back as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to the center of Ortho’s forehead, leaving behind a plum colored kiss mark, “There you are. One kiss of affection.”

“Thank you! I will leave you both to your date!”

Vil waved, “I’ll see you at the club meeting this weekend.”

The party lasted longer than Yuu had expected it to. But soon everyone had vacated the Heartslabyul garden and gone on to finish or start their own private Valentine’s Day plans. Yuu returned home, smiling at seeing Grim passed out on the lounge couch surrounded by a pile of opened and half eaten snacks. They took the time to make sure he was cozily wrapped in a blanket (and not in danger of dying in his sleep via throwing up and choking on the atomic amount of junk food) before going to their bedroom.

Just as Sam had stated their package was on their bed, a plain brown box with no indication of where or what it was. Yuu smiled, opening it and seeing the plethora of sex toys they had carefully picked and purchased, “Self-love is true love…”

Two in love can make it. Take my heart and please don't break it. Cause L.O.V.E. was made for me and you~