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satancopilotsmytardis · 3 months

Text

Slipping Under

Pairing: Shigadabi

Rating: E

Contents: Rape/Non-con, Octopus!Shigaraki, Panther!Dabi, shifter AU, no quirks AU, non-human genitalia, tentacle dicks, tentacle rape, oviposition, paralytics, mindbreak/Stockholm Syndrome, drowning, physical abuse, threats of violence, double penetration, orgasm delay/denial, prostate milking, loss of virginity, forced feminization, face fucking, cum swallowing, creampie, breeding kink (no mpreg), infertility, egg birth, dacryphilia, multiple orgasms, anal gaping, praise kink, captor/captive romance, twisted and fluffy feelings, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

You can also read on AO3 here!

Word Count: 14859

The forest burning was not his fault. He was given an entire mountain range to patrol on his own, and the fact that the small group of mortal warriors had even made it to him was evidence that someone else was not doing their job. But when the torch fell, when the brush caught before Dabi could stop it in favor of making sure there were no survivors to bring back to the edge of their civilization, he had expected to die a hero. His father had him treated, but only to bring him to trial for failure to uphold his duties. He was stripped of his clan, renamed for the fire that had destroyed so much of the mountainside, and exiled.

Six months since then, six months of pain and wandering. Six months since he could shift fully, sleep comfortably, fill his stomach. And Dabi is tired. When he finds a river he can fish he nearly sobs his relief. Chasing down prey has been nearly impossible with his skin still stapled together, but fishing, that is waiting and striking once. He finds a place along the bank, drinks deeply, and then waits.

///

For three days he is able to feed himself, sleeping in the tall plants, trying to give his exhausted body the time it needs to heal. He doesn't see any other shifters, though other animals come to drink from the river. None that pose him any threat though and he is determined to stay here until he is able to shift again.

On the forth day as he watches the water move languidly, he sees a faint shadow much further down the river. He sniffs, turning his attention to it. Another panther? He can't smell it if it is. Maybe a larger fish? He starts to move carefully in that direction. He'll stay on the bank, but he would like to know if something has come to invade his little place of peace. He isn't sure if he's prepared for a fight, but he can try. He doesn't see the shadow anymore, but as he goes along the bank he notices that the water gets much deeper. He can't see the bottom anymore, a darker blue here that he thinks means it's likely deep enough to dive into.

Deeper enough that he imagines larger fish will probably be able to swim through this area and his stomach growls. The smaller ones he's been able to catch are good, but he would love to get something large enough to put a stone in his gut, something to fill him so that he can go and fins a tree to sleep in for the rest of the day. That would be possibly the best thing that could happen today. He lingers on the bank and waits.

The sun is just starting to dye the land in shades of golden light when he sees a bigger shadow moving beneath the water. He can't tell what kind of fish it is, but he doesn't care, it's large enough that he knows it will be a good meal. He moves up to the very edge of the bank, ready to catch it as it moves closer to the surface, and Dabi realizes that the long shape might actually be an eel or a snake. He starts to retreat, but movement catches his attention out of the corner of his eye and terror spikes through his veins.

The octopusfolk had tucked his torso and other limbs up against the crevasse of rock along the embankment, and as Dabi moves in so close to the edge of the water, he strikes. Dabi tries to move, he tries to scratch out at him with his claws, but there are too many limbs wrapping like mortal steel shackles around his limbs, his neck, his waist, and before he can even let out a yowl, he is being pulled into the river.

He tries to thrash as the water rushes into his nose and over his eyes, managing to only get a bit of it uncomfortably into his throat from his surprise before he holds his breath as best he can as panic surges through him. He opens his mouth to snap at the limbs holding him, but that just makes the tentacle tighten so sharply around his neck that the blood flow is crushed as surely as his breath would have been, making dark spots bloom across his vision. He tries again anyway. This creature will either drown him or break his neck if he doesn't fight back. The tentacles wrench his arms behind his back at a hard angle that nearly make him cry out. He's dizzy from the pain more so than the loss of oxygen so far.

It takes him a second through that haze to realize that they are moving through the murky water. The octopus is swimming upstream, far past where Dabi has ever traveled before. Dragging him back to his den to eat, he guesses and tries to pull out of the impossibly tight embrace again. If anything that only makes his lungs ache more, the pressure building and building like he's burning again as his his chest starves for air. He fights the crushing darkness that is moving in along the edges of his eyes, the screaming terror in his mind, the tight grip on his limbs. He survived alone when so many humans came to destroy their home. He survived being burned and exiled from his community, surely there is a way for him to survive this.

As the water finally fills his mouth again and his vision goes dark, he thinks that will be his last thought before he dies.

///

He wakes up, drenched, his throat and nose burning, and on a different embankment. He coughs, trying to clear that horrible ache from his throat and chest, and tries to get his limbs under him. His whole body feels weak, and his limbs ache sharply from being restrained, but he manages to push himself up from the stones and sand and take in his surroundings. He's... in a mountain? Maybe? He's not certain. He just knows that he's surrounded on all sides by tall stone walls, tapering up to about a hundred feet until he can see the sky above. All around him, in maybe eighty feet of space, brush and only a single large tree growing up towards the light, sits around the semicircular pool of water that must lead from the river into this grotto or sorts.

He starts to push himself off of the ground and away from the water, not eager to go near that for the moment as he tries to shake the terror of drowning. Not a moment too soon as the octopus's head breaches the slight ripples of the pond. Long white hair drips across his face, and in the water around his shoulders. There's a strange texture around his lips and eyes which shine as bright as blood, set into a pale face. Scars litter his face, over one eye, slashed across his lip, and spilling down to the bare bits of his shoulders that Dabi can see above the water.

His throat is still aching, but he bares his teeth and tries to growl anyway. The sound rattles out of him shakily, and the octopus doesn't look intimidated in the slightest.

"You were fishing my river."

"It's a river, no one owns it." He snaps right back. The creature's voice isn't any deeper than his own, but there's a raspy quality to it that makes his fur stand on end. His teeth are more needle-like as his mouth opens around his words, but they're still sharp. Definitely could take a chunk out of him and it's a miracle that he hadn't tried that already.

"This is my river, hadn't you noticed that no other creatures came to drink in it, or fish nearby? Have you ever even seen a bird fly overhead?"

Dabi bristles. No. He had been grateful for that at the time, so nervous about getting into a fight while he was still healing, that he had just taken it as a rare stroke of good luck. "...I'm not from here."

"Clearly. But that doesn't excuse theft. I have killed every creature who dared be as bold as you." The octopus's head tilts slightly. "But you've made this mistake at an interesting time, so I'll offer you a choice: I can kill you, like I have all of the others, or you will remain here for... four months. You will be mine for that time and I will care for you, and assist you in leaving this place when that time is finished."

"Why the fuck would I agree to any of that and not just kill you?"

"Because even if you were to get the upper hand in a fight against me," and Dabi bristles as the creature's eyes drag over him to find the scars and sutures keeping his skin in place. "You won't be able to escape. No land-born creature has ever been able to hold their breath long enough to find the entrance to this grotto, and the walls are too sheer for any to climb. Even if you killed me, you would starve or drown alone in here." His voice is too calm and even, too sure. It makes Dabi's skin crawl and a hollowness fill his gut.

"...Why are those the only two options? I didn't know the river was your territory. I know now. You could just let me leave and I won't ever fish it again."

"And what would stop you from thinking that maybe, some other time, that you could get away with just a sip, just a bite, here or there? Surely you could manage that, since I cannot possibly monitor the entire length of it at all times. No. Those who violate my territory die. You are being given one exception."

"...There's nothing to eat here."

"I will feed you."

Dabi looks up at the top of the cavern again, at the single tree that grows up towards that light, at the water that is so deep, even only a yard and a half from the bank he's on, that he cannot see the octopus's dark limbs beneath the surface.

"...Four months?"

"Four months. You will belong to me, panther." And there is a warning in that tone, but it was the same warning that came with the knowledge he will die here otherwise even if he refuses.

"...Fine."

"Come here." The octopus swims along the bank, further along the curve of it and Dabi hesitantly stands and follows him.

He's lead to a place that might be a bed or sorts for the creature. It's a pool of water, made by building up rocks to dam in about a foot of water, moss grown in thick layers over the bottom and up the sides where the sand does not touch. The octopus pulls himself into it and Dabi realizes that he's even larger than he thought he was, his tentacles easily as long as Dabi himself is tall. His arms and chest are also heavily scared with his fingers ending in wicked black talons that curve off of his nailbeds. Dabi has not often felt disconcerted around other predators, but this creature makes an instinctive fear shudder down his spine. Seafolk don't normally make their homes this far inland, and his alien form makes something in him want to run very, very far away as quickly as possible.

"What should I call you?" He doesn't even know if seafolk have names like theirs.

"It's rude to ask for a name without offering one yourself. Though I'm not certain why I'm surprised given you had no qualms about stealing from me."

"I didn't know," he snaps, his cheeks going hot with his frustration and shame. The octopus looks entirely unimpressed and unmoved by the outburst. "...Dabi."

"For now, all you need to know is that I am your master, and you can address me as such."

"Fuck you." He would never say that his mouth gets him out of trouble nearly half as often as it gets him into it, but he knows before the last syllable has even left his lips that he should not have said the first.

The octopus bares his teeth with an angry chitter, three of those long, inky tentacles reaching out and lashing tight around his ankles, his waist, a wrist, and yanking. He can't even try to dig his heels into the bank because he is startlingly certain that if he did his arm would get dislocated in the process. His center of gravity shifts sharply, and he's torn from the bank and into the pool, his feet splash in and Dabi's pulse spikes sharply with his fear as he tumbles, terrified that he will fall back and crack his head open on some of the rocks built up around the edge, but there are more tentacles, around his chest, catching his other wrist, wrapping tight around his throat, the skin slick and cold like a fish. His back hits soft algae, and then the creature is right in his face, those bright red eyes furious and his teeth bared. Dabi tries to growl right back, but the sound is shaky even to his own ears as his arms are pined beneath him painfully and the weight of this creature over him, the sharpness of his talons as he is free to scratch them over Dabi's scalp as he knots one hand roughly into the tangle of his hair between his ears and pulls hard enough that Dabi knows some of his hair must be torn out, make his display much more frightening.

"You are going to learn your place if you want to survive this."

"Fuck, let go!"

"You do not make demands of me, kitten." Dabi lets out a feline yowl as the hand pulls harder, as the tentacles wrench his limbs to sharper angles and put pain on his joints that threatens to break them, that threaten to pull his skin free of the sutures.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" It's an old panic, an ingrained one from living with his father who's temper could turn on a dime and where submission, apologies, pleading, were sometimes the only way that the pain of the beatings, or at least the duration of them would lessen. "I'm sorry--Master! Please!" It's a panic that makes his already aching chest feel like it's going to collapse in on itself. Spirits of the earth, what did he submit himself to?

"That's better, if you manage to be good, then I'll let you eat tonight before you sleep."

Dabi whimpers as his hair is let go of, but his limbs aren't released. The octopus is just moving his hands to catch his waist, forcing him onto his stomach, making sure that his chin is resting just barely above the waterline in the pool, an achingly uncomfortable scrap of safety between breath and being dragged just low enough to drown in the shallowest part of the water. He holds still, his tail flicking with his agitation, but he doesn't dare say a word after just two put him in this position.

"Much better, kitten." One of his hands moves along Dabi's back, sharp claws a bare prickle against his skin as he finds the seam that cuts across his back. "You're already so damaged," The words sting almost as sharply as the tight grip holding both of his wrist tight to the small of his back do. "If I'm not careful you'll break before I even make proper use of you. That would be a shame, but I think I will remember to be careful if you remember to behave. Do you think that sounds fair, kitten?" The words are soft and light compared to his anger, but that tone of threat is still laced through each one.

"Yes, Master." His voice is thin with his fear.

"That's a good girl."

Dabi flinches, and then winces as the tentacles holding his limbs tighten a little more. "I--I'm not a girl," He vaguely knows that seafolk can be strange when it comes to their genders and sex, but he didn't know it was so different that the octopus would mistake him for--

"You will be for me, at least until my mating season is over." A new sound in the octopus's voice, something lower and rumbling almost like a purr, as his hands move to the fabric slung around Dabi's waist. It's just a strip of cloth, just the bare minimum for modesty, but nothing that would impede him if he shifted fully, if he still could when his skin is so damaged. Now it's pushed up and Dabi tries to twist away, only for his body to be pulled down, the other hand pushing his face into the water and holding him there. His whole body wants to thrash harder, but Dabi holds his breath and forces himself still. The creature keeps him there as he tears the fabric from around his waist and palms his ass, holds him under until Dabi's lungs are burning for the second time today, and only lets go of his head when he feels his body starting to give aborted little twitches to be free.

As soon as he can, Dabi pulls his head up and gasps for breath, trying to get enough to take away the dark spots that are flickering across his vision. But even desperately trying to suck in as much air as he can, Dabi can't ignore one of those icy, slick appendages slipping between his cheeks as a hand grabs one and holds him open for it, talons biting stinging pricks into his skin.

"Don't--"

"You don't tell me what to do, kitten, or do you need another reminder so soon?"

Dabi whimpers, "Please,"

"Better," the octopus drags the tip of his tentacle over Dabi's hole, the feeling of it sharply unpleasant, so cold and strangely slick with something that certainly feels thicker than the water he thought was giving it the texture. He's never had someone touch him there, always far too busy with his duties to pursue a mate of any gender, but he understand what this means. Why the octopus would bother to give him an option of living in the first place. "Since this is the first time," Dabi's gut is hollow with his terror, his helplessness as he is held prone beneath this creature. "You can plead all you want, kitten. You can beg me to stop, tell me if it hurts, and as long as you don't move away, or try to use those sharp teeth or claws, then I'll let you. But if you misbehave, I'm going to break your arms and jaw. Am I clear?" He punctuates the question by bringing the fine tip of his tentacle to his hole and prodding harshly at the tight ring of muscles, trying to force them open as Dabi's whole body only goes even tighter with his fear.

He can't help it when his response is as much a sob as it is words, "Yes, Master."

"Good girl."

The tears burn and ache as they slip across his cheeks and Dabi is even more sharply confused because the sand turns red where they drip off of his face. It takes him a moment to realize, "I'm bleeding."

The octopus chuffs. "I've barely touched you, don't be so dramatic. But you will if you don't relax for me." The tentacle presses more firmly against his center, the tip is so thin that it manages to press just inside and Dabi yelps.

"N-No! My, my face. There's blood, please!" He doesn't know what exactly he's hoping for. If the creature is willing to mate him after breaking his limbs, he doubts bleeding will really make it stop. But the octopus does growl lowly in his throat before easing up on his body a bit. Enough so that Dabi can turn his face back a bit to him.

The annoyance on the monster's face turns to some amount of surprise, an alien-sounding chitter slipping out of his throat as his free hand moves to catch some of the tears, the blood, slipping down his cheeks. "Oh, kitten, I think your eyes are as damaged as the rest of you." His thumb strokes up beneath his eye, talon dangerously close to the soft organ and Dabi whimpers.

The temptation to bite his wrist is enormous, but he restrains himself with another soft sob. A broken jaw is a death sentence, a slow and painful one by starvation, and if not that, without healers, if he did manage to survive, he may never hunt for himself again, would never be able to adequately defend himself either. It would be a half life of him barely limping along until hunger or a worse predator or human killed him. He's already broken, he can't imagine being that.

"It's alright, they're still such a pretty color." And the tone is a little more gentle than it was before. But the thought of a possible reprieve is barely a flicker on the edge of his mind before the tentacle starts to stroke just inside of him. Dabi shakes his head weakly, words caught in his throat. "It will feel good if you let it, kitten." Not even the barest flicker of mercy in his tone, or his actions as he starts to rub more insistently just inside, trying to work his muscles open.

The appendage is slick, slicker than it was even before, even through the water that is up to his waist as his body is moved to the creature's preferences, though he allows is head to stay above the pool this time. The slickness drips inside of him, spreading that wetness around and Dabi whimpers as he feels his muscles starting to tingle. It's a strange sensation, not numb, not painful, not even just the pressure of having something trying to get inside. It's something he's never felt before and it makes his tail flick and his breathing hitch.

The octopus sees his moving tail and curls a hand around the base, stroking his thumb over where his fur meets his skin and Dabi yelps, his whole body jolting in the tight grip. "Don't, please!" Terror in his throat as he thinks the appendage is going to be torn away. But the hand just tightens and strokes, somewhere else Dabi hasn't ever had a touch before and he's shuddering and whimpering as his muscles loosen involuntarily because that... feels good. He whimpers again as the tentacle takes that split second of reprieve to push in deeper, easily two inches inside of him now, and the taper starts to thicken. And that motion forces the muscles even wider, the tentacle stronger than his body, holding him open as the octopus chitters low in his ear as he leans in to lick away the bloody tears still slipping down his cheeks.

"That's it baby girl, open up for me."

Another thin sob slips from his throat as the tentacle moves deeper, stroking inside of him and it's so chilled against his burning insides that he can feel each movement of it, each flickering press of suckers inside of him as it rubs and crooks. That tingling that was going through him starts to spread through his legs, up his abdomen and into his tail. It's with another fearful cry that Dabi realizes that he can't move at all from the waist down, even if he can still feel the tentacles moving over his skin.

"I--I can't--"

"Already? Good." Dabi yowls as with that confirmation, the tentacles go from restraining his legs to spreading them open wider, one thick coil of his limb going beneath his pelvis and pulling him up a bit more so that he's presenting for the other and ready to be mounted. Dabi bites his lip hard to keep from crying out as shame spills through his body, but that doesn't mean that the octopus can't feel it himself. "Oh, kitten, you like it this much?" As the tentacle moves more deliberately under his pelvis, moves so that it can cup his half-hard cock and balls between his suckers.

Dabi shakes his head weakly, words failing him, but there's no hiding away from the sour pleasure that's starting to stoke through him as one sucker presses to his head like a fluttering mouth and starts to kiss and pull at him there. He whimpers, wanting to squirm away, but he can't move at all, even as the tentacles that were restraining his arms let go as well, their grip not needed anymore as whatever the octopus has done to make his muscles weak spreads through the rest of his body.

The octopus hums and fucks his tentacle deeper into his body, thickening the length of it until Dabi's muscles are burning with the stretch, and it puts a pressure on something inside of him. Something that makes pleasure jolt along his nerves and makes his cock thicken the rest of the way as a broken moan bubbles out of his throat. "That's it, baby girl. I told you it would feel good. Can't even pretend you don't want it anymore." He murmurs, words cut through with a constant chittering purr. His mouth galls to the back of Dabi's neck, pressing soft kisses there as he strokes his cock and his insides so firmly in the same move. It feels good and Dabi is sick to his stomach with that.

"No, please, I don't, please, stop, please," he pleads with another sob, trying to fight away the paralytic that is holding him down.

"You don't want it?" He fucks into him again roughly, making sure to seal a sucker over that spot inside of him and giving a hard pull that nearly makes Dabi's vision white out as he screams as his cock aches from how blinding that burst of pleasure is. "This doesn't feel good, baby? You don't want to cum with my cocks inside of you?"

It's hard to focus as a sweat breaks out across his body as he is rendered so helpless beneath the creature. He can barely manage it, but his muscles move just enough for the slightest shake of his head as he cries.

"Alright, kitten, you won't then." And the tentacle beneath his pelvis shifts. The thinnest part of it, another joining, reach between his legs and wrap firmly around the base of his cock and his balls, not quite causing pain, but applying a choking pressure to him there that he's never felt before. The tentacle inside him retreats, slithering out of him and coiling wetly against his thigh so that he can move a hand to his ass instead. His thumb strokes around his rim, humiliating Dabi with how wide he can feel that he's been stretched. "There, just wide enough to fit, and so much easier than I was expecting. I didn't even have to break you."

There's shifting in the water that he hates, that fills him with fear as the monster presumably readies his cock to push inside. Dabi strains his vision, trying to see over his shoulder, one cheek pressed firmly to the sand, and watches with horror as two new tentacles crawl out from underneath the spill of the others. These are different, both as stark white as his hair, and neither having suckers until about halfway along their lengths, but one has a wider, diamond-shaped head that curves inwards slightly like a spoon, and the other has a more bulbous tip. And they're both huge. The same size as the rest of his tentacles. He hears the octopus groan softly as they come out from beneath him, dripping and rubbing against one another before they start to reach for him like the others have.

"Stop, please! Please, they won't fit--!" He cries out as his tail is tugged on as the octopus gives him a warning snarl. "Please, Master, please don't," he corrects with a sob, even though he knows the words are falling on deaf ears. The diamond-shaped head presses against him first, drenching his hole with its slick as it dips just inside before pulling out, until there is so much slick that Dabi can feel it rolling down his balls. "Master," he sounds breathless, his eyes burning with tears, his face hot with his humiliation, and a horrible ache making itself know in his cock as the head starts to push all the way inside, the widest part of it making him stretch again. It's not painful. Dabi wishes it were painful. He doesn't want the pleasure that spills along his spine as the cock pulses and shifts, feeding itself inch-by-inch inside of his limp body.

He brings it as deep as he had the first tentacle before he pulls it all the way back out in one smooth movement that has Dabi's mouth filling with blood as he bites into his lower lip to keep the sounds of his unwanted pleasure behind his teeth. The octopus fucks it into him again, trusting his slick has made him more than wet enough for it, and manages to do so, pushing in even deeper and making Dabi see stars again. The loud moan that echoes against the cavern walls is met with a cruel laugh and Dabi wishes he'd chosen death.

"My pretty, broken kitten," he chitters, hands stroking over his skin as he keeps fucking him on the first cock. "Just needs her pussy stuffed full to turn into such a sweet little thing." He feels the more bulbus head starting to stroke at his rim too, "Don't worry, baby girl, you're going to be full for days."

Days? Terror tries to fight its way through the pleasure. Can octopuses mate for days at a time? He'll die. He really will die if the creature-- Dabi keens his distress as the diamond head pulls all the way out so that both of his cocks can push inside together. The pressure is blinding and radiates sharply to his cock and balls as the tentacles there tighten their hold, as Dabi realizes with a sob, that he would have cum if not for their choking presence. He hears the octopus starting to click in the back of his throat, breathy sounds that he thinks are the creature's own pleasure as he starts to slowly work both of his cocks deeper inside of Dabi's body. He doesn't pull them back nearly as far again, only enough to work more slick inside of him as it drips all over his skin, and then goes deeper.

Dabi is scared he's going to push in so deep that he'll be able to feel him in his throat, but something inside of him, some invisible tightening before he reaches too deep inside, keeps the octopus from pushing all the way into his guts. It's still sensation there that he's never felt before, pressure and an awareness inside of him that is dizzying.

"Breathe, kitten, you're alright. You're doing such a good job, you just need to keep breathing for me, baby girl." Only realizes as his hand strokes his hair between his ears that he's hyperventilating. He rubs and strokes inside at that place, his cocks rubbing against each other, along Dabi's walls, faster, more insistently, and he hears the octopus's breath go a little rougher with his pleasure. He realizes then that he must be getting close.

"Don't, too full, please--" he sobs weakly, but looses any other words as he feels one of the cocks twitch more irregularly, and then he's getting even fuller, soaking wet, as the octopus starts to cum. Dabi mewls, bloody tears dripping down his face because it's so much, too much.

But not enough for him to not notice the solid bump that is suddenly pressing at his rim. Wider than the other tentacles, inside of it, and pushing insistently against the muscles. Dabi didn't think he could be stretched any wider, but the bump pushes and his muscles are helpless to do anything but open wider or tear. The slickness and toxin do their work of forcing him to accept the bulge, and it feels so solid as it moves down the length of one of the tentacles, until it's pressing against that tight spot deep inside of him too, adding more inside that makes him whimper. The solid thing seems to slip free of his tentacle and before Dabi can even think to ask what he's doing, another is pressing at his rim.

Three more slip inside of him, each squeezing a mixture of the octopus's slick and cum out of his aching hole, and Dabi is sure that he would be writhing if his body weren't paralyzed. As it is, "Please, Master, please," He begs weakly, eyes puffy from crying and dizzy from how full he is and how badly his cock hurts as more and more of the round things are pushed inside.

"What is it baby girl? Not full enough yet? Don't worry, kitten, I have plenty of more eggs for you." Eggs? That's what he's putting inside of him? Dabi tries to move, to thrash away, but the toxins keep him still and weeping against the sand as a fifth pushes past his rim, the cocks are having to draw a little further out of him with each new one, he whimpers loudly as he does the pressure against that special place inside of him is too much and there's a burning, aching pleasure-pain that's radiating from there to his balls. A sharp heat that is so noticeable against the cool slide of the tentacles holding him tight as it travels along the length of his dick. Dabi cries out in humiliation as he feels something starting to pour out of his cock, burning hot and releasing a little bit of that pressure as a sixth egg stretches past his sore hole. It's a shaky, embarrassing pleasure, and he can't even look between his legs as something thinner than his cum, but thicker than urine spills out of him in a constant stream. So hot and so much, that the octopus notices as it runs all along the dark coils of his tentacles.

He chitters with his amusement. "Oh, kitten, like being filled up so much you squirted? Even after all of that whining?" He chitters contentedly as he nuzzles into his neck, pressing a kiss to his skin, and releasing one of the tentacles tight around his shaft so that the liquid can pour out of him faster and the tentacle can make it feel even better as it strokes him, milking each drop out as it does. Then he moves the parts of his cocks still inside him experimentally. "Hmm, I think you have room for one more, don't you?" Dabi sobs.

"N-no, please,"

"Two then."

Dabi learns the lesson even without the threat on the edge of his voice. "Two, Master." He agrees, scared of being torn open around a third, or nature abound, a fourth. It's a fresh humiliation that as the final two eggs are pushed inside, he doesn't stop... squirting until the octopus fully draws his tentacles out and starts to knead at his hole, coaxing the muscles closed around the mess that keeps threatening to drip out.

"There, baby. You did such a good job. Going to make the perfect incubator for me, aren't you?" The octopus picks him up, rolling him onto his back when he thinks that he can, and Dabi can't help but whimper because he's so full still, and he can feel the eggs rubbing and moving inside of him. Can see himself then, and the thin milky cum that has spilled all over the tentacles that were around him and across his stomach and thighs. And his stomach, it's not as flat as it was before. Not bulging, even though he thinks it should be from how full he feels, but certainly a bit bloated like he's eaten a sizable meal. The octopus puts a clawed hand there, pressing softly and Dabi mewls in humiliation as the pressure makes more of the creature's cum leak out from his achy hole.

The creature chuckles. "Why don't you nap for a while, kitten? I'm sure you're tired. You were so well-behaved, I'll go find something for you to eat." Leans up and presses a kiss to the tip of his nose with a mocking sweetness. "And when I come back, if you've misbehaved, or tried to take any of my eggs out, then I'll pump your stomach full of them as well. Understand?"

"...Yes, Master." He doesn't know if he'll need to break his jaw to open is mouth wide enough to accept the tentacle, and he doesn't want to find out.

"Good girl." He lifts him easily, getting him onto the bank properly, and laying him down so that he's not in the water or at risk of drowning if he somehow shifts before getting full control of his limbs back. The octopus then slips back out of his bed, moving three of the stones so that the dirty water from their mating can spill back into the wider pool and be refreshed with a cleaner flow from the river. Then he disappears under the waves again, and once he's gone. Dabi lets his body be wracked with deep, wrenching sobs.

///

The feeling came back to his body after an hour or so, but Dabi couldn't really bring himself to move, terrified that any movement might make the eggs inside of him shift and slip out of his sore hole, cum still slowly leaking out of him and creating a puddle in the sand. After another hour, the sun had started to set and the octopus returned with a large fish of a breed that Dabi hadn't ever seen, and instructed him to eat. He hadn't wanted to, sick to his stomach from what had happened before, but too scared to disobey.

With his stomach full, the exhaustion from his body had finally overtaken him, and he fell asleep as the creature watched him from his pool.

///

When he wakes the next day, it's because he's whimpering. A hazy warmth has spread through his limbs and made them tingle and even just shifting the slightest bit has him shoving his knuckles between his teeth because... he's hard. The eggs inside of him have moved in his sleep, settle against that spot inside, and his cock is straining up against his stomach, must have been for a while because he's smeared with his pre and feels so achingly close. He lets out a yelp when hands catch him around his biceps as the octopus pulls himself out of his pool with a yawn.

"Oh kitten, that didn't last long. Even less compatible than I thought. Come here." He locks an arm around his chest before Dabi can try and claw at him, and pulls him into his embrace, a few of his tentacles catch around his thighs and spread them open. Dabi squeaks, feeling the weight of one of the eggs against his hole,

"W-wait--" and desperately not wanting to be punished the way he was threatened the night before.

"Shh," one of his tentacles comes up to his hole and rubs around it gently, prodding lightly at his center as he hums softly. "Looks like they're ready to come out, kitten. Stay still and let me help." One of the appendages moves to wrap around his cock and balls again, putting that choking pressure in him from root to tip like he had the day before and Dabi lets out a low, feline whine. "You said you didn't want to cum, baby girl. So now you won't. Maybe if you're good for me until the next clutch, you'll earn a reward."

The tentacle prods around his hole like it had before, but this time, he can't try to keep his muscles tense even if he wanted to, and just a few passes has the octopus's cum pouring out of him, pushing one of the eggs right up against his rim, and Dabi doesn't think he's imagining that they feel... bigger than they were yesterday. His cock twitches in the confines of the tentacles, a shaky, foreign pleasure making his whole body tremble in the monster's arms. The tip slips inside of him, pulling his hole wider as the creature's other hand goes and presses on that slight bloat low on his stomach and the reaction is instantaneous. Dabi lets out a loud moan as the egg squeezes itself out of his hole, that burst of relief at the slight lessening of the ache inside of him making his cock throb and pleasure surge through him.

"There," one of the unoccupied tentacles moves between his legs and brings up the egg from the sand, moving to swish it through the water to clean it before the octopus brings it up and offers it to Dabi. It's a little bit larger than his fist, and the color of amethyst, perfectly round and almost gelatinous looking. It feels squishy in his palms when he hesitantly opens them to accept it, and it's warm from... his body in his hands. The octopus presses a kiss to his temple, "Now let's get out the others."

It's an achingly long process, lasting until the sun is high overhead, as the tentacle works its way inside of him and slowly coaxes the eggs close enough to his hole that he can manage to push them out, each one feeling so massive as he does and putting an exhausting strain on his muscles. He's not even paralyzed today, but he couldn't try to swipe at or bite the other creature if he wanted to, not when he feels absolutely hollowed out around the slow emptiness that's building inside of him and how badly his cock is aching, flushed so dark and not allowed to cum. By the fifth egg, Dabi is crying again, hitching little gasps and sobs around tiny pitiful mewls as he's made to... give birth to this monster's eggs. His tentacle pushes in deeper to catch the next egg and Dabi nearly claws at his arm with his free hand, other being forced to hold the clutch as they're pulled from him, as his pleasure spikes white-hot in his veins.

"Master," The word slips out on a loud moan, his back arching against the creature's chest as his hips jump and rock, angling down to try and chase that feeling.

He can feel the other's chest rumbling with those chittering purrs again as he pulls the next egg closer, and the next after that, each subsequent one making sure to drag over that special place that strips back the horror of what is being done to him and leaves Dabi writhing with his pleasure. He can't stop moaning and whimpering each time an egg slips free he's emptier, and that hollowness is so sharply uncomfortable. When the last one slips free and he is left empty, Dabi gives a rougher sob, shaking his head weakly. He-- he needs more. Even with the choked pressure of his cock, he we so, so close to that thinner pleasure that he felt yesterday when he'd-- when he'd squirted for the monster. He would take anything to have relief after enduring this all for so long, and his throat is so thick, his stomach a sickened knot, as he begs,

"Please, Master, please," just for any hope of relief.

"I'm going to enjoy keeping you just like this, kitten." He purrs, but he does feed a tentacle back inside of Dabi's gaping hole and start to rub against that place. It feels swollen and achy, but so good, and fresh tears stream across his cheeks as Dabi's mouth falls open around his moans as that burning pleasure builds inside of him again. Builds higher and higher, until he feels it along his length, and gets to watch this time as a fresh bead of pre joins the mess already all over his stomach before the drop becomes a stream and it just starts to pour out of him in a constant flow until he's soaked again with the fluid, little moans and relieved sobs slipping from his throat as he's finally, finally allowed relief for the first time since he woke.

By the time his cock stops dripping, Dabi's body is a mess again. The octopus's slick and cum all down his thighs, his own across his stomach, his face dripping with his bloody tears, and his whole body drenched in sweat. He can't do anything other than slump bonelessly against the monster's chest, so tired that all he wants to do is sleep again. Another soft kiss gets pressed to his temple before the tentacles pull away from his skin and the octopus is shifting him to lay down back against the sand.

"You did a very good job, baby girl." The monster praises as he starts to gently take each of the eggs from his arms. "Rest up. When you're tight again, it will be time to give you the next clutch."

He's so exhausted that even the sharper spike of fear that goes through him then isn't enough to force his limbs into movement, as he lays aching in the sand.

///

It takes two days before the creature thinks that he's ready to take more of the eggs, and again he's held down, paralyzed, and fucked full of the eggs and his cum. And again, the next day he's cradled in his arms until the very last one has been pushed out of his body. It's a horrible, exhausting cycle that leaves Dabi weaker than he could have ever imagined being, especially as the burns continue to try to heal across his body. But the exhaustion is not nearly as deep as he pretends that it is as he waits for the octopus to leave again to patrol his territory after the eggs have been removed again. The creature takes those with him, as he did after the first time, and Dabi doesn't know if he's storing them deep in the pool until they hatch or if he's hiding them away because Dabi is more than tempted to crush every single one to ensure that no other monsters like that one are born. He tests how weak his legs are and then is careful as he goes over to the pool. The creature helped him bathe after he hid away the first clutch, and he doubts that it will look suspicious if he is in the water when he returns if he comes back and finds him in it. Dabi hopes he won't though.

He slips into the water, deepening his breaths slowly until he's taken in as much oxygen as he can, and then starting to swim down. His eyes try to adjust to the dark as he swims down and then holds still, feeling the current in the water and then moving into it. The current has to be where the river flows, and he is bound and determined to swim out. But the pool is deep. Far deeper than he thought it was. He tries swimming towards the hardest current, but the water gets so dark that he can't see anymore, and his chest aches sharply. He's forced to try to return to the surface to suck in deep gasps of air, and when his lungs are full, he tries twice more. Each time he gets no closer to finding the exit through the water.

When he cannot stand to experience that disappointment anymore, he gets out of the water and begins to move around the modest chamber. The walls are sheer to the top, with very few places to hold onto, and too tough for his claws to pierce to afford him any leverage to climb, and there are no other cracks or crevasses in the dirt or stone for him to get through. He brings a stone from the shore and tries to chip it against the rocks, but the sound is horrendously loud, and the rock in his hand chips faster than the wall. He tries to dig at the earth, but the cavern walls are set in deep to the ground, and he cannot find the edge. With all of his other options explored, he moves to the center of the cavern and to the tree.

Climbing this, at least, is easy. He has been climbing trees all his life and he has no trouble getting up high into the bows and branches. But when he is at the very top, he confirms what he assumed from below. The tree is the highest vantage point in the cavern, but the top of it, that little hole of daylight that streams through, is still nearly sixty feet above him. With the tree nowhere close to any of the walls, Dabi can't even risk leaping from it and trying to grab onto the rock and attempt to claw his way up. He can just sit, a little ways off of the ground.

It's not until the creature returns with a collection of fish that he realizes that he has never seen him properly on the land. The octopus glances around the enclosure for a moment before looking up to find Dabi in the tree.

"Get down from there and come eat."

Dabi finds his nerve. "No."

The octopus pauses setting his catch on the edge of the bank and looks up at him. "Dabi, if you don't come down from there right now, I am going to break your leg."

"I've already laid your clutch, twice. That is more than enough compensation for fishing your river. Let me go."

"No. You agreed to four months as mine."

"As a prisoner, not as a-- a hatchery!"

"Would you rather be dead than my mate for a few months?" The creature hisses back, his limbs whipping through the water with his agitation. Dabi's throat goes tight. He doesn't want either. "Fine. You can starve up there until you're ready to come down." And he gathers up the fish and disappears back into the water, leaving Dabi trapped and alone again.

///

He stays in the tree all of the next day, constantly searching the water for even a flicker of movement from the octopus, but he can't find any. His stomach is achingly hollow by the time the sun sets that night with no sign of him.

By the second day, Dabi knows things are going to be much worse. He didn't think this through. He should have brought some water up with him however he could, because his thirst is a constant agony sitting on the edge of his mind and his lips dry and parched. If he doesn't drink something in the next day or so, he won't have to worry about living long enough to starve slowly because he'll die of thirst first. He won't even last out the week without water. He holds out for another half a day, watching the water for any movement with his thirst growing so intense that he's afraid that he'll pass out before he can even reach the bank. Maybe he can run down and get some to drink quickly and then run back to the tree before the creature notices?

He is shaky and weak as he climbs back down, limbs stinging with pins and needles from holding himself in only a few positions for days, but he manages to get down to the base of the tree and stays there for a long moment. Until he thinks he can move to the edge without stumbling. He approaches carefully and quietly, already on all fours just in case he has to run, searching for that dark and light shape of the other creature beneath the waves. He cups his hands into the pool and drinks deeply, meaning to only take one or two before trying to find a stone or leaf to bring more back inland with him, but the first one doesn't nearly quench the thirst that has been building in him for so many days, and he has to take a second.

He only sees the flash of black just before it breaks the surface of the water, grabbing at him far more quickly than he can rear back. Dabi yowls as his wrist is caught and he's yanked off-balance, tumbling into the water with a loud splash, and accidentally sucking in a lungful of water. Panic seizes him and he tries to thrash against the hold, snapping his teeth towards the whipping tentacles before a hand catches his jaw and wrenches it shut as his arms are caught and locked into place against his torso as he is dragged through the water again. Back towards the small pool. He tries to fight even harder, but just like the first time, the limbs hold him in a vice as he's pulled along to the creature's will.

Dabi sputters and gasps for breath through his nose, when he is all but thrown into the smaller pool, back hitting the stones hard enough to bruise, and head landing in the sand that must be through sheer luck, because he knows this creature does not have an ounce of mercy in it. His jaw is still being held tightly in place so he can't snap at him again and Dabi tries to squirm out of his grasp, fear soaking his veins again. He's going to break his jaw! He knows his eyes must be as wide and terrified as the octopus's are furious as he barres his teeth in a snarl as his body looms over Dabi's everywhere he isn't holding him tight.

"I warned you."

He moves his hand away from his jaw though, his eyes and limbs shifting down to one of Dabi's legs-- "No! Don't!" He thrashes, trying to kick out at the other man, his tail flicking and fur standing on end as his pulse pounds impossibly loud in his ears.

The octopus snarls again, sinking his claws into his thigh and forcing him still. "If you don't stop moving I won't give you a clean break. I'll force the bones up through your skin and let them get infected and then watch as you die of blood poisoning or have to chew off your own limb."

Dabi doesn't even have the chance to let that horror settle in his mind before the octopus coils a tentacle around the top and bottom part of his right calf and then wrenches it with sharp, decisive pressure. The crack that fills the cavern is so loud for a moment. It's all he can hear. All he knows. And then the agony comes. A scream tears through his throat, tears springing to his eyes as his leg pules with his pain as the tentacles more again, jerking the broken limb back into place and squeezing. He hears the broken bone grind against itself, feels it as the agony spikes so sharply his vision goes black, and then snaps back into place. He sobs, his stomach churning from the pain, but he doesn't vomit, not the way he hadn't been able to stop when he had first woken up from burning. This is not as bad, his panicked mine tries to tell him. This doesn't hurt as badly as that. But it still hurts too much.

The octopus chitters irritable as he sobs, letting go of him so that he can swim over to a patch of reeds and snap off two of the thicker stems before moving back over to him, finding his wrap and tearing it easily into a few strips of fabric. He brakes the reeds to the lengths he wants, grinding the sharp edges against the stones until they're not so jagged, and then places them on either side of his broken leg, the skin already gone purple around the break and swollen badly. He ties the splints into place tightly enough that he shouldn't be able to jar the bone out of place, each little tug at the dressing making Dabi's breath hitch on fresh pain.

"There. Now if you behave, that should heal well enough. If you put pressure on it, if you move it around too much, I can't guarantee you'll ever walk again." He says it so matter-of-factly. Like he wasn't the one to just put him through such sharp and decisive violence. Dabi is still sobbing softly as he moves up his body again, hands coming to wipe away the mixture of blood and tears across his cheeks. "And you tried to bite me."

He knows what's coming next and his heart leaps into his throat, "Master, wait, please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

The octopus's expression is unmoved, his fingers shifting to the edges of his jaw and starting to press in harder. "If I let you break the rules without punishing you, you won't ever learn."

"Master, please, I won't ever do it again, I promise! I'll be good, I won't disobey, please don't, please."

The creature hums, bringing two fingers to Dabi's lips, while his other hand moves to hold his chin firmly in place. He presses his fingertips to his lips, the claws barely pricking at his skin and two more fat tears slip over Dabi's cheeks as he instructs, "Prove it. Open."

He's never heard the keen that he lets out now, a sharp animal sound that is so full of his fear and pain that he thinks he sounds like he's dying. But he still parts his lips with another sob. The fingers press in and settle against his tongue, his skin cool and tasting of the river. And they stay there. Through the hazy fog of fear and pain, Dabi realizes that the monster is waiting for something. Hesitantly he closes his lips softly around the appendages, moving his tongue lightly across the pads of his fingers. When he's not hurt again, when some of the anger seems to leave the creature in a soft sigh, Dabi tries to focus on the movement of his tongue. He licks along them, between them, letting them push in a little deeper and being careful not to let his teeth come anywhere near his skin.

The octopus pulls them out, tracing them around his lips again, smearing his spit across his skin. "One more chance, kitten. You are going to open your mouth wide and I am going to fill up your throat." Fresh fear saturates his skin. "And if you so much as twitch to close your mouth, I will pull out ever one of your teeth and embed them into your cock. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Master." His voice is shaking as badly as he is, each little movement putting fresh pain in his broken limb. He doesn't want this monster's cock, either of them or, spirits forbid, both of them, in his mouth, but being mutilated further is beyond what he can even comprehend coping with now. Not when the adrenaline and pain are so heavy on his nerves. He's still so thirsty. He hasn't eaten for days. He doesn't know if he'll even survive the slightest other cruelty that the octopus could press into his skin, and he doesn't want to find out.

Dabi opens his mouth, doing his best to relax his jaw. "Good girl."

He still presses three knuckles between his molars so that he would have some resistance trying to bite down. Probably enough, as weak as he is right now with hunger, pain, and dehydration, to be able to pull his cock out of his mouth before he could bite it off. He wouldn't dare, and he thinks that the other creature can see it on his face because he shifts, letting his cocks unfurl from beneath his other tentacles. It's the one with the diamond-shaped head that moves to his mouth and Dabi fights back his nausea as it moves along his lips in the same pattern as his fingers before it starts to push into his mouth.

He keeps his tongue flat as the appendage slithers over it, tasting more strongly than the skin of his hands. There's a bitterness to the flesh here that seems to come with the slickness that spreads over his tongue and puts that tingling sensation through him again. That's almost a relief. He can't even feel his burns when the octopus has dosed him so heavily with his toxins, and Dabi is desperate for the relief from the pain. He rubs his tongue along the shape of him. He's pushed inside with the curve down, so it's easy for him to press his tongue up along it, conforming into that shape, and rubbing. The skin is very smooth and soft against his tongue, so he can immediately feel the slit at the center and figures that must be like the one on his own cock, circling it with his tongue and getting rewarded for it by more of that bitterness seeping out over his tastebuds. He swallows it away, desperate to bring that numbness deeper into his body.

"So eager, kitten?" But there's the start of those low, satisfied chitters starting to make their way out of his throat. He glances up at the other creature, and quickly drops his gaze again, and when that is still too much, he closes his eyes entirely. He doesn't know what to do with that softly satisfied look on the monster's face and he lets him feed his cock deeper into his mouth. He presses to the very back of his tongue and hesitates, like he's waiting for something, Dabi is half waiting for his throat to seize up and try to force it out, but the toxins are doing their work, and his soon his jaw and tongue are completely slack as well, a mixture of drool and slick starting to drip down his chin and onto his chest.

The octopus pushes the head of his cock into his throat and Dabi whines softly as the intrusion makes him stretch there in a way he never has before, but the sound can't survive for long because he moves deeper. The air is abruptly choked off as his cock forces its way deep into his throat, his master moaning softly as the inherent tightness of such a small channel is forced to open up to take him, letting them both feel every inch of the involuntary constriction even as he stays unable to fight it. The fingers come out from between his teeth and that hand moves to instead cup the back of his head to keep him tilted at the angle he wants as he pulls back so that Dabi can suck a breath in through his nose, before he fucks back into his throat just as languidly.

It's by the third or fourth movement that Dabi feels his other cock starting to prod at his hole, and he realizes that he's not in pain anymore. It doesn't hurt when that bulbus head stretches him open and pushes inside either. Dabi can hardly make sense of it, when the tentacle goes so deep inside that he swears that he can feel it in his chest, but as it pulls out again so that he can breathe, his head is light and floaty no matter how many breaths he tries to take in. Oh. And he's hard again. Always gets hard no matter how much this monster hurts him, like his body is aching for any contact that doesn't come with more pain. He doesn't care. Doesn't want to think about it. He lets himself float and be used, breathing when he's allowed and not even whimpering when Master sees his hard cock and tightens his tentacles around him again to force him to squirt instead of orgasm. It doesn't matter. At least that feels a little good. He would take any thin amount of pleasure if it just promises him the absence of pain.

He's so far gone that when the tentacle in his mouth twitches irregularly he hardly registers it. Not until it's pulling back from his throat to just inside his mouth and there's a sharply salty flood of warm fluid so copious in volume that it pushed back into his throat, and fills his mouth to the point of it overflowing down his chin as his master chitters with his pleasure. One of his other tentacles coils tightly around his base as his cock twitches again and just saves Dabi from being completely drowned in the cum as his cock pulls out of his mouth and his hand quickly shuts Dabi's jaw and forces his head back, coaxing him to swallow. He doesn't have a choice if he wants to clear his throat enough to breathe and he swallows away his seed before that tentacle is moving back to join the other inside of him, just barely getting the head in before he lets go of his base and spills the rest of it deep inside of him. That seems to be the cue that his second one needs to open and for the first egg to start moving down the length to his hole. But it's not one, it's two bumps, he can feel them distinctly, two pushing his rim wide. They are barely inside before more are pushing in. He can't even keep count, his head lulling back against the sand limply. Days since he laid his last clutch inside of him. Maybe there are more then there should be? It feels like more, but he doesn't have the energy to count to think about it. All he knows is that he gets full enough again to put that constant pressure against that special place again, and his cock twitches before he's making a mess all over himself again.

And then darkness rushes in on his vision.

///

He wakes up, cold, but sweating, his mouth thick and a horrible stiffness across most of his body except for his leg which is on fire again, he's certain, from how badly it is hurting. He whimpers, clutching onto--

"Careful, kitten. I don't want to have to punish you again." Realizes a second too late that he's been curled up against the octopus's chest, and that he's holding onto him. He lets go as quickly as he can, but he can't move at all with how weak and feverish his body feels. His master reaches with one of his tentacles and draws half of a shell out of the water, filling it in the bigger pool, and bringing it to Dabi's lips. "Drink." It's still so dark out, deep into the night he guesses, as he parts his lips and drinks the contents greedily, desperate to chase away at least one of the physical discomforts that is plaguing him. The octopus gives him two more, without complaint before setting the shell aside again and bringing a tentacle out of the water. Dabi watches it kink and coil around itself until it is dripping thickly with its slick.

He doesn't need to be told to open this time, desperate for that numbness again if it takes away the pain. The tentacle smears the slick over his lips and tongue and Dabi laps it up desperately until there's nothing left. It takes him an achingly long time to realize that the octopus is stroking his hair gently as he does, murmuring praise against his temple.

"That's it, baby girl. You're being so good for me. Wish you hadn't made me punish you before you could behave."

His mouth is starting to tingle as that numbness spreads, but he barely manages to slurr, "'m sorry, M'st'r."

"Shh, I know you are, kitten. And I know you won't ever do it again. Go back to sleep, sweetheart, you know that the eggs will need to come out in the morning."

Dabi whimpers, the pain in his leg had been so intense he hadn't even felt the fullness sitting inside of him, but now he's taking notice again. The other creature wraps him back up, letting Dabi tuck his face into his throat like he doesn't have even the faintest worry that Dabi will tear it out. He's right not to. He's too terrified of what a failed attempt would bring on him to even contemplate it, even if he were able to move normally right now. Instead he closes his eyes and notices for the first time the scent of salt and a storm that comes off of the other creature's skin and closes his eyes.

///

Extracting the eggs is beyond exhausting with his leg broken and pulling his focus at ever second until the creature gives him another dose of his toxins, but that does mean that Dabi can't tighten his muscles at all to help push them out. Instead the octopus has to push two more tentacles inside of him, stretching him open so wide that they come out in a flood of his cum and making it take half the day before the toxins wear off and he's not allowed any more for the pain until he stops gaping. The octopus shifts up onto the sand with him, sitting so that Dabi can see the gills on his neck and sides close up as he presumably uses his lungs instead. He builds Dabi a bed just off of his little pool out of some of the grass that grows all along the bank and uses a stone and a mound of wet sand to make a place where he can elevate his leg. Then he chitters at him softly, stroking his sweat-damp hair back from his forehead.

"You need to eat. Are you thirsty?"

Hesitantly he nods.

The octopus returns with the shell and lets him drink until his thirst is sated, then fills it up one more time and balances it in the sand within arm's reach. "I'll be back in a few hours, kitten. Try to rest."

It's a fitful rest with the pain surging through him any time he shifts that limb even the slightest bit. But he stays put for hours until the octopus returns with three otters. It's not something that Dabi has ever eaten often, but he doesn't care, tearing into the flesh ravenously, grateful that the water was able to stretch his stomach and ready him to receive food again after so many days without. The octopus watches him eat patiently, letting him have his fill until anymore would make him sick, and then taking away the bloody remains and cleaning him up gently and allowing him another dose of his numbing slick.

And so the routine goes for three more breedings.

///

It's after the fourth, when Dabi has gotten all of the eggs out, and is slumped against the creature's chest, crying again, as his hair is stroked so sweetly, he realizes that the pain in his leg wasn't so intense today. That he was able to get the eggs out without needing the extra tentacles and the slick. He presses a kiss to his temple and then starts to gather the eggs up again. Dabi catches his arm, making sure his claws are fully retracted before he does, to pause him.

"What is it, baby girl? Are you hurting?"

He shakes his head weakly. Not hurting, just exhausted. "When will they hatch?" He wants to know, has to. How many more of these monster is he helping to put into the world.

"Oh, precious," a hand shifting to cup his cheek and his thumb carefully wiping away a track of blood and red eyes search his. "You're not compatible." His voice is soft. "They won't ever hatch."

That... should be a relief. He should be glad to know that all of these horrid things that are being forced inside of him won't ever take a breath, but it pulls sharply at his own instincts. Wild panthers don't stay together to have litters, but in his village it's different. They mate for life, they stay together through litters and raise their cubs together. His stomach feels strangely hollow knowing that, like everything else, he has failed to even be a mate, no matter how forced these matings have been. "I'm sorry." His voice even smaller, the sharp press of fresh blood beading up behind his eyes.

"It's alright, kitten." His master reassures him, wiping away the tears as they slip across his cheeks again. "I knew that before I made my offer. I don't want for offspring. I am more than happy to just have a warm body rid myself of them this season." He curls a hand around the back of Dabi's neck and kisses his forehead before starting to extract himself with his eggs. Dabi doesn't let go of his arm, though the grip is so weak the other creature could if he wanted.

"What do you do with them?"

"I take them downstream and use them to set traps. They make good bait. And I crush the ones I don't use." His head tilts slightly to the side. "Does that upset you?"

It takes Dabi a long time to answer, and when he does, it's hardly an answer at all. "I... don't know."

His master pressed another kiss to his forehead before extracting himself completely this time. "That's alright, kitten. You don't have to. I'll take care of everything so long as you keep being so sweet for me. Why don't I help you clean up before I go? That will make you feel better."

The tone doesn't leave any room for argument, and by the time Dabi is no long drenched in cum, slick, and sweat, and settled back down with his leg elevated again, he does feel better. "Thank you, Master."

"You're welcome, baby. Take a nap, you need your rest to heal."

He figures that he's probably right about that too and settles in and closes his eyes.

///

It's easier when he's not fighting back each day. Dabi loses track of how many clutches, how many days, it has been before he doesn't bother anymore. His master will take care of him so long as he behaves.

///

Time passes and his leg only hurts if it's jarred wrong. His master still takes care of him, always making sure to bring him large meals to help with his recovery, re-splinting it and washing the bandages for him, helping him to get clean and moving him around when he needs to. And they... sleep close now. Originally, he thinks it was just so that Master could give him his slick at night when he woke from the pain, but as it ebbs to a more manageable state, there isn't a reason for the octopus to have carved out a new section of the bank so that his torso could recline against the sand at night while his lower half could stay in the water. And Dabi didn't need to sleep perpendicular to him on the bank, curling up with his ear pressed against his chest, listening to the strange sound of his heart and the soft long pauses between when his lungs breathe for him and when his gills do. No reason for those sounds to become comforting.

No reason for him to be moaning and rocking back desperately as his cocks move inside of him. His body is more used to being able to take him now, not needing as much of his slick to accept them inside, sometimes just needing enough to get him wet, rather than the messy gush of it that it took at the start. And when he's relaxed enough to take him without so much, the toxin just makes him tingly, soothing the barest bits of his pain, and leaving his limbs sluggish, but mostly within his control. It still doesn't mean he should have his hands against his back, holding on tight as the octopus's mouth moves along his throat as they move together. But it feels good. It always feels good and it's been five days since his last clutch. He hadn't dared ask why, but by the third day Dabi had been getting hard intermittently and squirming, desperate for the stimulation his body had grown so used to.

"Master," he moans, tightening his thighs around his hips. His broken leg is held carefully in one of his tentacles, the suckers pressing soft, fluttering kisses against the skin far above the sensitive injury, his other wrapped as tightly around him as he can, like that will somehow get him closer, when their bodies are already pressed together everywhere it matters.

"That's it, precious, let me hear how much you like having your pretty cunt fucked." Moves the rounder head of the egg laying cock against that spot-- his prostate-- and presses hard enough that Dabi yowls, stars bursting behind his eyes and his claws jumping out involuntarily as his hands clutch at his master's back. He hears him hiss out a pained breath, but the movements don't stop inside of him and Dabi realizes what he's done with a horrified cry, trying to force the claws away and his limbs to cooperate and move away.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Master, please, I'm sorry, it was an acciden--" his fearful sputtering's are cut off as the octopus leans in and covers his mouth with his own. Dabi freezes beneath him. Kissing him. The other creature is kissing him. In all of this time, he has never kissed his lips before. His mouth is rough against his own, split skin and old scars, but Dabi doesn't care. Takes his hands away form his back so he can't misbehave again and tangles them in his thick mane of hair instead as he surrenders his mouth to him the same as his body with another loud moan. The octopus licks into his mouth, along his tongue, behind his teeth, and it's a new wave of sensations that pair with the perfect movement inside of his body and Dabi realizes that he is achingly close to the edge.

But there's no tentacles holding him tight now to choke away his orgasm. He's not allowed. He twists his fae away, breaking the kiss, but Master just starts to kiss across his cheek and down his jaw instead. "M-Master, close, please," Doesn't even know if he's begging for the pressure or to cum. It doesn't matter. His master will decide what he needs.

The octopus catches his chin between his claws and pulls him back into another kiss, breathing between in the small spaces between where their lips meet, "Show me, precious. Show me how beautiful you look when you cum, Dabi."

Didn't know his pleasure could be any sharper, but it surges so hotly through his veins. "Master!" He hasn't felt an orgasm since, since, spirits, before he burned. Feeling that abrupt, overwhelming pulse of it, has his claws out again, but safely tangled in his master's hair, his head thrown back on his moan, and as his balls tighten and his cock throbs, ecstasy along ever inch of it, and cum, real cum, not the thin milk he's normally allowed, is striped over his stomach, up his chest, ejected so forcefully it splatters his chin. His muscles tighten around his master's cocks, and that has them twitching. It drags out his orgasm impossibly long as he starts to cum inside of him, as the eggs start to push past his rim one by one until he's full.

When he slumps bonelessly against the sand this time, trembling and mewling softly, it doesn't have anything to do with the toxin. he just can't move because he's soaking in every lingering pleasure as his master fills him with his clutch. This always takes some time, and this time, he leans over him and keeps pressing soft kisses along his skin. Over his cheeks, down to his chin where he licks away Dabi's release, along his neck where he sucks and nibbles at his skin as Dabi's tail tangles itself up around one of his tentacles, trying to keep him close like he's going anywhere at all. Master catches it at its base and starts to rub and stroke there, knows that makes him as hot as when he has his tentacles rubbing and pressing their suckers along his cock, and before he's even finished filling him with his clutch, Dabi is hard again.

"Show me again, baby girl." And a tentacle does move to wrap around him, not squeezing and choking him this time, but stroking and kissing. moving with a fluid slowness that makes Dabi's pleasure build again, slower and sweeter that before. He's helpless to do anything other than what the other creature wants, and by the time he's cum again he's full, but empty of his mater's cocks, and absolutely exhausted against the sand.

Even though his leg is much better than it used to be, the octopus still takes care of him, washing the filth away from his skin. When he gets to his hands and presses on his palms to get his claws to push out again, Dabi sees the blood and remembers, fear flickering through him as his master guides his hand to the water and starts to clean it away.

"...I'm so sorry, Master. I didn't mean to."

The octopus presses a kiss to his palm. "I know, precious. It was an accident." He presses his palm against his cheek and looks up at Dabi, red eyes soft and warm. "And it won't happen again?"

"No, Master." He promises, bracing for the pain, tears already burning at the edges of his eyes.

Master kisses his knuckles again and finishes cleaning away the blood. "Good. If it does, we'll have to file them all away." And he moves onto the other hand, giving the same careful cleaning to that one as well.

But he doesn't break his arms. He just holds him close in his as they settle in for the night and after a few long, quiet moments, Dabi chances peeking up at him. His master looks back at him, waiting. Dabi timidly leans up and presses a soft kiss to his lips. A hand moves to the back of his neck, holding him there to make it firmer, but not filled with the heat from before.

And then he holds him the same way Dabi has grown used to, his hand petting through his hair, until the heaviness of sleep comes for him again.

///

The next day he lays the clutch and Master holds him as he does, stroking his cock and telling him how well he's doing the whole time. And each word might as well be sweetened with nectar, because those and the pressure of the eggs moving inside of him, out of him, is enough to bring him off three times before he's finished with the last one.

His master dotes on him even more afterwards, cleaning him up and then departing with the eggs, and coming back not too long later with two very large fish that he is able to gorge himself on before he curls up to catch the last of the warm sun on a stone by the water, his hand dangling into it so that his tentacles can brush against his fingers lightly. A cool reassurance that the other is still close by.

Two more days pass after that, and without needing so much of the toxin to loosen himself, he doesn't take nearly as long to close either. So when he knows he is tight again and won't risk the eggs or his master's seed spilling out of him entirely, he noses at his neck, licking just below his gills, and waking him from his nap. He chitters softly, a hand moving to tangle in his hair and pull him in for a proper kiss and Dabi is careful of his leg as he moves in as close as he can as he opens his mouth to get more.

The kiss is slow and lazy, and over far too soon as the other creature parts with an amused chuff. "What is it, kitten?"

"I'm ready for your clutch, Master," he breathes, his face going hot. Never had to ask for it before.

"Is that so?" And he definitely sounds amused as he says it, leaning back in to give him another kiss. This one sends a curl of arousal heating up along Dabi's veins and he mewls softly with his pleasure. But his tentacles don't curl around him, don't draw him closer or into the position he wants. He just parts and presses another kiss to his forehead before he sighs softly. "I don't have another clutch for you, baby girl."

Dabi's brow furrows. "What?" He always has before.

"It's the end of the season, precious. Four months, tomorrow, technically. I'll take you out of here then."

That news should be a relief, he knows that. He should be happy to be free. Everything that happened here, even the things that felt good, were a different kind of pain. He should be horrified that he was so far gone that he didn't notice how long had passed. Scared of being set free when his leg is still healing, even if he can put just a bit of weight on it again now. But there's a kind of hollowness that's sitting behind his ribs instead. "Oh."

The octopus's hand shifts to his cheek and strokes over his skin. It's still patchwork. The metal sutures are permanent, even after all this time, necessary to hold his skin in place and guaranteeing that he won't ever shift completely again. Ruined skin, broken leg. He's not sure he'll survive a week alone. "Or," Dabi's ears perk slightly. "I can give you another choice, kitten."

He hasn't had to make a decision in months, but he nods, his tail flicking behind him with his agitation. He's gotten so used to his master deciding for him, but he can manage this, he's certain.

"I can let you leave tomorrow. I'll bring back into the jungle and I will even let you fish my river until you're healed since I broke you so badly after you agreed to stay. Or, we can stay just like this, and I'll tell you my name, precious."

He knows which he's supposed to choose, what he would have without hesitation at the start of this. Still knows a trap when he hears it, because the octopus didn't say when the second would end but-- "Your name?"

"Is that what you want, Dabi? To stay here? To be mine?" The curl of heat in his voice is a temptation and he feels powerless against it.

"You'll take care of me? You... won't hurt me again?"

"I'll take care of you, baby girl. And I won't ever hurt you again, so long as you follow the rules."

"What's your name?" The words leave him breathlessly.

The hand wraps around the back of his neck again and pulls him into a hot kiss, his extra limbs moving the way he's come to expect, being careful with his leg as he pulls him in closer and shifts so that he can lay him against the riverbank. Dabi mewls again, legs opening to make room for him as his tentacles crawl over his body, finding every place that stokes his need higher.

Has nearly forgotten the question when his master pulls back just far enough to breathe the answer between their lips. "Tomura Shigaraki."

"Tomura," he tries the name on his tongue and it tastes sweet. Tomura kisses it out of his mouth, as his cocks move to rub along his hole and get him wet. He moans softly into the kiss, rocking back for more. "I thought--"

"With the right stimulation," he murmurs, his lips against his jaw as a tentacle pressed up between his legs and begins to stroke his hardening cock. "I can lay all year. So you won't ever have to be empty. Doesn't that sound nice, love?"

Dabi whimpers, melting into the touches with a delirious nod as that word rings around in his head. He doesn't know if he's ever been loved before. Certainly not the way that Tomura loves him. He can't care about anything else as his cocks start to press inside. He would give anything to keep being loved like this.

Thanks for reading!

#shigadabi #my writing #mha fanfiction #fanfiction #dead dove fic #dead dove do not eat

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gallickingun · 4 years

Text

remember me || t.a.

SUMMARY: Tamaki Amajiki saves a civilian. He doesn’t expect her to buy him coffee and teach him about the wiles of floral culture.

PAIRING: Tamaki Amajiki x Fem!Reader RATINGS: T+ WARNINGS: mild violence and language, etc. WORD COUNT: 6.9k+

LINKS: ao3 | masterlist | mobile | writing tag

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* TAG LIST *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ is at the end of this post!

AUTHOR’S NOTE: this is my first submission for the @bnhabookclub provisional license event! if you want to participate, here is the post! and if you want to apply for the server, here is the application!!

i have to get sappy here for a second. i had 2 panic attacks while writing this because i was so self-conscious, so riddled with doubts about a. was i getting tama’s character right b. was i even on par with the great and wonderful writers of this fandom and c. am i proud of this? eventually, after talking it through, i realized that it doesn’t matter how i measure up to everyone else. i should be writing this because i want to, and because i’m enjoying myself. so, special thanks to @freckledoriya and @k-atsukidayo who have once again been my lifeline. i love you guys ♡

if you like this, feel free to request more HERE!

Tamaki Amajiki had never given flowers much thought.

He usually passes by the windows of a floral shop and notices the blossoms just enough to smell the variance of air – from stale to sweet – and then he moves on, not much effort spent towards the colorful display of petals in the open windows.

But now, after finding you, he cannot stop thinking about the way they bloom.

“Columbine,” your eyes light up, thumbs pressed to the dark red petals, “they are used to symbolize anxiety.”

Tamaki’s eyes graze over the flower, wondering how you could know so instantly that he might connect with this specific budding plant. The tether he feels to it is strange, something particular but also aloof – as if he could not place it if he tried.

Anxiety is something very relevant to Tamaki’s life, a demon he has struggled with every day since he could comprehend the reason his stomach tied into knots, the worry he keeps pent up in his chest burning ulcers into his belly. He wraps his arms around his waist at the memory of meeting you, the way his entire body was wrought with anxious thoughts, mind unable to comprehend the extent of your impact on him at the time.

You tilt your head as if able to realize that his mind has begun to spiral, “We don’t usually add these into bouquets, but something about them is just so beautifully broken, I can’t help but fall in love.”

It is a typical day on patrol when he first stumbles upon you, nothing special or out of the ordinary, not really.

Tamaki has been working under Fatgum’s agency for a few years to date, and he’s comfortable with the route that he’s been assigned, a routine he has held since the beginning of his deployment. The elder hero understood from the very start that Tamaki tends to try and avoid social interaction. In response, Fatgum made sure to create a patrol route so Tamaki could walk the least populated paths while also providing an effective amount of protection to the community. It’s the least he could do for the young Suneater, a new hero steadily climbing the charts despite his difficulty in speaking with the press outlets.

Some days Tamaki will try to stop by various vendors’ carts, eating foods that will create good manifestations for his quirk or just to support the local economy. It also allows him to try and force himself to have a discussion, even if there isn’t much substance to it, trying to grow more familiar with the ideology of small talk. He’s decided that he is going to stop by his favorite sushi bodega today, already thinking up his lengthy sashimi order as he starts towards the food stand.

And then he hears someone cry out.

Tamaki races in the direction of the distressed sound, channeling his quirk as he rounds the corner. The tentacles that are thanks to the octopus he regularly incorporates into his diet are extended from his fingertips, ready for action as soon as he skids to a stop in the street.

Your body is pressed against the wall of the alleyway, face cut by the brick beneath your cheek. You connect your gaze to his, your brilliantly shining irises seeking him out like a moth to a flame. Tamaki can’t help the way his chest constricts at the sight of such a helpless person, and then his heart lights on fire when he sees the burly man currently trying to take advantage of you. He snarls, digging his heels into the concrete, tentacles growing straight from his fingertips.

Before you can part your lips to try and beg for help or mercy, Tamaki is landing a swift blow to the thug’s head, successfully knocking him unconscious to the ground. You clasp your freed hands around your neck, coughing violently as you bend over at the waist, stars in your eyes and shards in your throat. A thin river of tears streams freely from your lids, and when you’re able to look back up at him, you’re far from embarrassed.

“Th-Thank you,” you manage, voice hoarse. You lick your lips and swipe your hands at your face to rid your skin of tears and snot, “Seriously. That guy-he came outta nowhere!”

Tamaki finds the adrenaline of the short-lived skirmish to have fled from his system, leaving behind only the crippling anxiety that makes him blush from head to toe. He swallows the growing lump in his throat when he realizes he’s been staring at you without responding for at least a full minute now. Your hands are shaking and your shoulders quiver, but Tamaki is frozen in place, feet unable to start towards you.

Fatgum taught him how to comfort civilians, but he’s never been good at it, and the way that you look at him like he hung the moon in the sky does not make the encumbrance of his task any less intense. He knows that the objectification and idolization of heroes is inevitable, no matter how poorly he projects himself onto the public. The reality of it all only does more to constrict his throat, the familiar shroud of apprehension blanketing his body and curling around his spine like a snake. It slithers its way up into his throat until he can’t breathe, tongue deadweight in his mouth.

“Black-eyed Susan,” you muse, plucking a set of three yellow flowers from a vase not too far from him. You turn the buds between your thumb and index finger, the canary-colored blossom blurring in midair as Tamaki tries to stay focused on it. He’s not so close with you that he can smell your perfume, a distinct scent even when you are hidden amongst the blossoms in the greenhouse, but near enough that your presence is dizzying.

It is hard to focus anyway, what with the way your eyes are sparkling under the lowlights of the greenhouse.

You bring the bright flower toward your face and scrunch your nose as you sniff it, eyelids fluttering closed in bliss, “They’re used to express a fierce sense of justice. Usually, we use these in our arrangements for hero galas and festivals.”

Your eyes turn to him, connecting with his violet irises as a smile tugs the corners of your mouth upward, “Don’t you think they’re stunning, Tama?”

For some reason, when he answers, you can’t help but feel there’s a duality to his words, as if he is saying one thing but meaning something else entirely. Tamaki’s eyes are trained in on your face, not the flower, and his lips move in slow motion, like syrup dripping from his tongue, “Oh yes,” Tamaki is close to smiling, “quite stunning.”

You return to your arrangement and begin to hum a gentle melody between heavy breaths as you meticulously place the flowers in their perfect order. The way your brow furrows, creases ever-present on your forehead, draws Tamaki’s attention.

For a fleeting second, he wonders if he were to press his mouth to your worried skin, would you find yourself able to relax? To allow your body to melt into his touch?

“U-Uh, yeah,” he forces the words out, a hand brushing the back of his neck to try and relieve some of the tension he’s feeling. Tamaki adjusts his cape, taking a step forward, just like Fatgum taught him in his earliest days of training. He reaches out his hand for you to shake, but you’re fumbling towards him to capture his frame in a hug before he can make sense of what is going on.

You cup his face in your hands as you pull back to look him in the eyes, completely oblivious, it would seem, to his current state of panic, “Thank you so much! You’re Suneater, right?”

Tamaki gulps down what is left of his dignity and nods in silent confirmation, eyes a little glossy as he gazes over your face. He takes in your features, noting the slope of your nose and the bow of your lips, and he wonders if he’s ever seen anyone as pretty as you before. Normally his body would turn him to mush at the mere sight of a person such as you coming so close to him, but there is something different about your aura, the way you carry yourself. Your hands pull from his face, and he can’t help the manner that his body follows you, desperate for more.

Just as he’s coming to his conclusion about your beauty and grace, he realizes that you’re talking again, lips moving animatedly. Only this time, you aren’t speaking directly to him. You’re on the phone with the local police, letting them know that there’s been a low-level thief apprehended in the streets.

Tamaki is in awe of you – absolutely shocked at your ability to take charge of the situation, to hold onto it with an iron grip and make it your own. He should be the one alerting the cops, giving them an address and a rundown of what’s happened – that’s his job. And yet, here you are, phone to your ear and authority in your voice, detailing the scene down to the hair and eye color of the perpetrator currently propped up in the alleyway. He’s still unconscious, with his head lolled to the side with tongue protruding from his mouth.

Amajiki’s jaw is hanging just slightly, you notice, so when you step forward, crowding his space all over again, you nudge his chin with the crook of your thumb. A gentle giggle parts your lips, your head tilted in such a way that reminds him of a curious young animal, “Do you want to stop in at my shop? The police said they should be here any minute.”

“Y-Your shop?” he stutters, eyes flitting around to the different curbside stores on the strip of the road in an attempt to pinpoint the building you might be speaking of. He sees a few food stands and a bodega selling travel brochures, but nothing that screams you.

Although, does Tamaki really know enough about you to determine what kind of shop you might own or manage? He chastises himself for jumping too far ahead, his intense and sudden feelings forcing his heart to tumble over his inhibitions.

The habit of his emotions leaping into his throat is one he has struggled to curb for years now – he’s fully aware of his naturally forward-thinking spirit. He can take one action, one string of words, and force it into a new, paradoxical reality which he has fashioned all on his own in a matter of moments. The fabric of this new world is woven so intricately that it’s difficult for him to pull himself out of it, the alternate universe sucking him in and creating a vortex in which his mind can play.

You nod, grabbing your phone out of your pocket and unlocking it quickly, heading to your pictures folder for something specific. The split seconds in which you are distracted give him time to pull himself out of the recesses of his mind, to mend the fabric of time to bring him back to the present. You proudly hold the device up in his face, and he blinks harshly so he can focus.

The photograph on your screen shows him a rather familiar front display stand, dozens of budding flowers framing a beautifully crafted window sign that he’s seen every day since the start of his time at Fatgum’s agency. Tamaki tilts his head, trying to take in the store fully before he admits that he patrols by your flower shop consistently.

His head spins – he can’t believe he never stopped into your store before. Could he have met you a long time ago? Could he have seen you every day for the past few months, getting to learn your favorite flowers and flavors and the specific perfume you wear to smell so enticing? Another question plagues his mind – would you have stopped to give him the time of day had he not met you by saving your life?

“Oh,” he forces himself to speak, to dislodge himself from his tumultuous thoughts, “I-I’ve seen that shop before. You own it?”

You’re looking at the photo now, marveling at it with proud, shining irises. The picture distracts you from his enlarged pupils and blushing cheeks, and he’s thankful for the reprieve of your daunting gaze. Tamaki takes advantage of the seconds of your distracted scrutiny to map out your frame again, attempting to commit as much of you to memory as possible, given the short amount of time he has with you. He swallows the lump in his throat, licking his dry lips when you shove your phone back into your pocket, and he must refocus his eyes on some facet of your face other than your lips.

“There’s an adjoined coffee shop just to the left of it.” You’re smiling at him, and Amajiki thinks his heart is going to beat right out of his chest, flesh bruised from the intensity of its ministrations underneath the skin of his pectoral. The beginnings of a bashful tinge of pink warm your cheeks and ears, and Tamaki speculates whether your body is reacting to him or the heat of the afternoon. You lick your lips, “We can grab a scone and a cup of coffee if you like? My treat since you saved me.”

Tamaki is immediately refusing, holding his hands up as he shakes his head, ducking away from you entirely. “No, n-no, I couldn’t.”

“Why not?”

Your lips are pulled downward in a pouted frown, eyes losing a little of their luster. Tamaki regrets instantly that his mind is so tied down to the rules, the reality that: “Heroes aren’t supposed to accept bribes, gifts, or rewards in any form.”

You are twirling a different yellow flower between your fingers – this one is much more fragile in nature. Tamaki eyes the papery blossom and ponders the antiqueness of its appearance, as if it were meant to be made into outdated floral prints on fine china.

Your eyes are focused in on the center of the bud, narrowing just enough that he can tell you’re trying to concentrate, “These are yellow carnations. Carnations can mean so many different things – red for heartache, white for innocence, pink for the reality of being unable to forget someone – but yellow, wow yellow is something much more draining, exhausting.”

Tamaki is scooting closer to you, his body drawn in by the tone of your voice, “If the other flowers mean something so kind, h-how can this one have such the opposite effect?”

Your eyes are sparkling, but there is something hidden in the back of them, an emotion he can’t quite pluck out. Perhaps you have a familiarity with this type of flower? Does it hold a different power for you than the others? Are there memories tucked away in the recesses of your subconscious that wreck your spirit when you see this type of blossom?

“That’s the beauty in the buds,” you laugh at your attempt at a jesting remark, eyes hooded now as you glance downward, “if you choose the wrong one, you’re sending a different message entirely.”

Tamaki’s knee bumps into yours, and usually, he would pull away, but this time something feels different, weightier than before. His eyes cannot stray from you; he finds it difficult even when he tries. And so, he succumbs to the desire and leans closer. Near enough to you now that your body heat is intoxicating once mixed with the headiness of your perfume. He tries to keep his eyes from crossing and his hands in his lap, body uncharacteristically wanton for your skin.

You take a breath, your chest expanding, “Yellow carnations mean rejection, disappointment. Usually, they’re used as a revenge flower, given to someone who has harmed you, or taken advantage of you. We don’t do many yellow carnation bouquets.”

The phrase only seems to make you more determined – your brows pull together so tightly that your forehead creases, “Well,” you pause, brushing your hand over your face, “I guess it just won’t have to be any of those things then.”

Tamaki’s head tilts just enough to remind you of a confused animal. His inky irises are zeroed in on you, raven locks of hair falling in his eyes, “Wh-“

“It’s a date!”

His eyes practically bug out of his head, sweat starting to bead down his temples. He shakes his head and steps back from you, holding his hands up in the space currently separating your bodies. Tamaki attempts at conversation, trying to tell you in as few syllables as possible that no, that’s not okay, we can’t, I don’t think that’s allowed…

You shrug, “Listen, call it whatever you want - it’s just coffee.”

The police arrive with sirens blaring a few minutes later, taking down a statement and emailing Tamaki a new set of paperwork he’s going to have to fill out later regarding how and why he used his quirk. He secretly is praying that you will flee the scene once you realize how mundane this part of the hero job can be – interviews and paperwork and confessions on the street.

Maybe you’ll find him and the whole process tedious enough that you’ll run away, back to your flower shop where you can live on in peace, pretending as if you never met him. It’s not always fun and games being a hero, and typically, once a civilian realizes it, they walk away from the scene at hand and find something much more interesting to take up their time. Tamaki is sure you must have a thousand other things you would prefer to be doing than waiting for him to wrap up a discussion with a police officer, or so he’d like to believe.

For some reason, it does not surprise him to find that you are still waiting on him, patiently sipping a bottle of water given to you by another officer while you chat, feet twisting back and forth to pass the time. Tamaki’s mind begins to wander again to how he always passed your shop and never found you outside, watering the arrangements or even in passing in the window. He would have waved – that’s what Fatgum taught him to do. He has been trained to interact with civilians, to remind them that he is there for their protection and safety, as a beam of light in the darkness of their daily lives. There are other shop owners who he knows by name, their faces somewhat cataloged in the recesses of his mind, so he knows he would recall meeting you.

You’re remarkable; Tamaki would have remembered you.

And yet, he knows that now, every time he passes your shop, he’ll think of you, regardless of whether or not you’re outside watering the plants or inside working on an arrangement. Tamaki will be distracted with thoughts of your pretty smile, the way your eyes lit up when you spoke about your shop. Surely he’ll never be able to walk the beat of this street again without remembering you, his heart hammering in his ribs as he plucks up the courage to pass your shop each day. He’d bank on the hope that you’d see him, that you’d turn to wave, and he might be able to catch a glimpse of you, maybe even hold a full conversation more than a few sentences long.

It’s like his eyes are magnets for you now, drawn to find your essence like a northern pole. He turns his head so he can look over the officer’s shoulder, trying to find your frame again amidst the police and pedestrians alike.

Tamaki is more than surprised to find you staring directly back at him.

“What are these?” Amajiki points to a white flower he realizes he should have memorized based on its simplicity, and yet the hero knows that he’d sooner hear your bell-like voice rattling off the meanings to him, “I feel like I’ve seen them before…”

“Daisies,” you giggle, plucking a plume from your wall on display.

You twirl the flower around, taking an inhale of it before returning your attention to the hero stood in front of you. Your body moves without thinking - inhibitions tucked away in a box in your heart as you step forward, so your body is almost flush with his own. You press one palm flat against his chest, eyes connected with his inky orbs as you grin.

Tamaki is frozen in place, his feet cemented into the ground. He couldn’t escape you even if he wanted to, what with the way his anxious heart stutters underneath the cage of his ribs. Amajiki is somewhat thankful for the bone structure around the organ, acting like a prison so his heart can’t flutter out into the open. His body blushes from head to toe, painting his skin pink, when he feels your fingertips brush against his cheek.

“You look so pretty, Tama,” you murmur as you tuck the bright white blossom behind his ear.

You cannot pull your gaze away from the fragile petals held in place by the thickness of his violet hair and the curve of his ear. The blossom looks so lovely and light in contrast to his inky hair, tucked away like a secret between the strands and his skin. You are practically whispering when you speak next, afraid you might shatter some unspoken moment, “A daisy symbolizes innocence and hope. They’re typically used to symbolize the potential of new beginnings, a promise of faith despite a certainly somber situation.”

Tamaki’s face is bright red, but he manages to speak, “O-Oh, so a get-well type of flower?”

“Something like that.” Your hand ghosts over his cheek, pushing the bud deeper against his temple so the petals are flayed outward, a hauntingly beautiful smile painted on your lips. “It looks purely providential in your hair, Amajiki. Like a light in the dark.”

When you catch him staring, your left eye drops in a wink. Tamaki knows that he has never felt his entire body blush before, but now he is privy to what the sensation is like, an intense heat traveling from his ears to his toes. It’s hot and stimulating in all the strangest of ways, pinpricks of heat underneath his skin, making it seem like he may balloon up and fly away at any given time. He coughs to try and conceal the way his throat is bobbing, covering his mouth with his gloved hand. Even his palms are bright pink beneath the white leather of his suit, turned darker in shade by the overwhelming heat of your gaze but thankfully hidden by his gloves.

The eye contact between the two of you must make you bolder, because you are walking towards him now with purposeful strides. Tamaki knows that no matter how hard he tries, he can’t make his body combust instantaneously to avoid talking with you, and he can’t quite run away when you’re striding towards him. None of those options would prove very heroic.

And, at the end of the day, despite his personal inhibitions and self-restrictions, his job is to be a good hero, to strive to provide the public with safety and comfort, and maybe today the word heroism just means coffee.

You step over to him, your body closer now than before, “You think you’re ready for that coffee now?”

“I-It’s three in the afternoon, what if the caffeine-“

“There is this cool, new invention called decaffeinated coffee,” you deadpan, raising a patronizing brow at him, smirk lilting your lips, “or you can always try tea.”

Tamaki runs his fingers over his jaw in trepidation, the pads of his digits soothing his sweating skin. He licks his lips and chews on the inner corner of his mouth, diverting his eye contact from you to the ground, focus now steadily on the toes of his boots.

The first thought in his mind is that he could be reported for this – he’s still on duty, and he’s decked out in his full hero costume. If he were to be spotted by one of the head heroes or a news outlet for being too friendly with a civilian after saving their life, it could end poorly for him in terms of his reputation. Not only would Fatgum be disappointed, the Suneater’s ranking would dip into the undesirable zone, and he’d probably lose a few of his current brand endorsement deals.

And yet, when you grab him by the elbow and loop your arm through his, Tamaki is frozen just long enough for you to begin dragging him down the street with little opposition.

“Hollyhock,” your eyes roll back in your head as you smell the pink flower in front of your face, a whimper caught in your throat at the dizzying scent. You groan, slumping down in your chair, “One of my favorites.”

Tamaki’s ears perk at the statement, eyes widening just enough so he can memorize the shape of the floral arrangement, stashing away the memory in hopes that he might pull it forward if he were to need it in the future.

“This flower is usually an accent piece, something to show that the recipient is ambitions, outgoing,” you place the stem back into the arrangement, neatly tucking it away to ensure the set is not disturbed. “They’re so stunning, such a phenomenal meaning. So often we don’t reward ambition, instead trying to stifle it.”

The hero turns toward the arrangement, eyeing it carefully. He tilts his head, careful of what he says next, “They a-are pretty flowers.”

“Yes,” your voice has quietened when you admire the blossoms, eyes glazing over as if you were under a spell. You sound far away when you speak, like you might be somewhere between here and there, feet planted on the ground beneath you but mind and soul much further away. “I think so.”

The scent of floral buds and coffee beans makes his head spin – or maybe it’s just the closeness of your body and the gentle breeze that blows your perfume towards him. Your smile mixed with the sunlight of the day makes Tamaki’s breath hitch, eyes averted from your gaze so he won’t turn every shade of red in the book.

“Bean There, Done That,” you rattle off the name of the shop, “they give me free coffee because I put together the floral arrangements for their shop.”

Tamaki is overwhelmed by the menu alone – his eyes roll back and forth over each flavor of roast and style of drink that they offer. Eventually, he feels terrible for holding up the line and he starts to stutter, attempting to spit out some flavor of some type of some kind of drink. His surprise only grows into silence when you half-step in front of him, palm jutting out to wrap around his bicep as you start ordering something that sounds like he might actually like it.

“I-I’m sorry,” he apologizes as you wait off to the side, his toes overlapping as he turns his feet inward. Your hand has since released him, but that does not stop his body from blazing beneath his costume from your touch. Tamaki coughs to hide the trepidation, “I-uh, I don’t really…I don’t really drink coffee? I-It doesn’t do much to help my quirk, so I tend to stay away from it.”

You shrug, folding your hands together at the knuckles in front of your waist, “It’s okay! I figured.” You’re turning to look at him, softness held in your irises as you behold his face, “Plus this place has a lot of options, so it can get kind of easy to feel bogged down, especially when you’re in a line, and other people are waiting impatiently.”

Wow, he thinks to himself, it’s like she’s in my head.

You’re pressing your palm to his arm now, warm touch once again like an anchor to his befuddled mind. When he looks down, you’re smiling, and some small part of him wishes your expression would never fade away into anything less miraculous than your grin coupled with dimpled cheeks and shining irises.

The crumpled petals look like sheets of tissue paper all bundled together, but somehow your magic touch makes them look appealing, beautiful even. Tamaki watches as your delicate hands swirl around the arrangement, tucking different colored flowers into various sections of the vase, transforming it from something that was one dull on its own to a symphony of color and meaning. He tilts his head and smiles, a gesture he’s discovered to be much easier now that he’s found you, “A-And, what are these?”

You glance up from your work, hands caught beneath a blossom, “Hydrangeas.”

He nods, as if he might know exactly what that word entails, lying through his teeth. When you see his unsure expression, you can’t help the grin that tugs upward on the corner of your mouth, “Do you know what these symbolize?”

Tamaki curls in on himself, shoes overlapping as his knees knock, “Uh, n-no?”

“Hydrangea flowers are beautiful because they are used to communicate gratitude for being understood,” you pluck a blooming flower from the stand, turning to hand it to him. When his knuckles brush yours, it’s like a dozen electric shockwaves tumbling through his veins, blistering his blood beneath the skin, turning him to ash inside. Tamaki gasps at the contact, but he’s thankful that you don’t laugh at his unexpected outburst, or rather you continue as if nothing happened, allowing him to shrink back in on himself with less shame than he may have been burdened with otherwise.

You lick your lips and take a short breath, eyes returned to the arrangement at hand, “Hydrangeas are beautiful and easy to manage, most people have them in their yards or gardens for decoration. I haven’t met many gardeners who know what the true meaning is, however, it seems that people always choose them for their bouquets.”

“When would you give someone a hydrangea?” Tamaki asks, eyes tracking your motions no matter which side of the arranging table you’re on. He cannot get enough of you, body drawn to your presence as he sits in wait of another story, another tale to tumble from your lips.

You are tilting your head, considering the question like it held the weight of a court behind it, as if Tamaki were your judge and jury. You sigh, the weight of the world seemingly settled on your shoulders, almost like you’d thought about this question far too much before, “I think if I were going through a hard time, and I had a friend who just was there for me, I would give them a bouquet of hydrangeas.”

“Why?”

He wishes he hadn’t blurted it out – how rude of him – but your answer makes it worth the accidental insensitivity.

“It’s easy to try and instruct someone on what you think they’re to do next,” you answer carefully, eyes following invisible directions as you stalk around the arrangement as if it were your prey. You grind your teeth together; Tamaki can tell based on the way your jaw quivers under the strain. “It’s difficult just to sit and listen. Even when it’s meant to be kind and helpful, it can sometimes be overwhelming to constantly be told how to react or what to say or how to handle a situation. Almost like they aren’t considering you at all, instead preaching to you of their prowess, how they might have done better if they were in your shoes.”

Your voice is almost chilling, hollow like a needle or a feather, “To find a friend who could listen to me without interjecting their opinion, without telling me what to do, now that is worthy of a hydrangea.”

He allows his subconscious thoughts to wander for a moment, thinking on the implications of you possibly having a mind-controlling quirk. Is that the reason he was okay with coming here? Was it all because you manifested a quirk that allows you to influence the minds of men? Or did your quirk work on women too? Did you-

“Hey,” your voice is gentle, subtle despite the loud volume of everyone else in the shop. Your palm is on his bicep, and for some reason, it anchors him instead of making him want to float away at the sudden contact. Your eyes are genuine as you whisper, “Breathe.”

Tamaki listens to you, taking a short breath in and exhaling soon after, eyes never losing direct contact with yours. His shoulders roll with tension, Tamaki’s lower lip tugged between the bite of his teeth. He swallows, realizing what a fool he must appear to be. How can a hero need assistance from a civilian just for breathing?

“I know what anxiety looks like.” You brush your thumb against his bulky costume, and Tamaki wishes a very secret thing then – something he would never admit aloud. He is curious about how intense your touch would be if he weren’t in his full hero outfit.

Would the pads of your fingertips be soft? Would he be able to feel the heat from your skin leeching onto his own? How much more calming might your skin be if it was direct on his own?

You tilt your head, a considerate grin tugging on the corners of your lips. He’s pleasantly surprised to note the dimples that dip inward, making you all the more appealing, as if you needed any additional help. Tamaki tries to say something, but it gets lost in his throat, so you speak instead, “I hope you don’t mind me ordering for you at the counter. I just wanted you to be a little more comfortable. I felt bad since I was the one who asked you to come.”

“N-No, it’s fine,” he forces the words out, turning to look you in the eyes. Tamaki grits his teeth together and muscles through the anxiety gripping his bones like a vice. He questions when the day will finally come when he might break. “I just feel bad for the people waiting on me.”

“This flower is pretty,” Tamaki licks his lips and leans forward, inspecting the blossom rather intently.

You laugh, and he’s reminded of how delicate you are when you giggle. His eyes are momentarily redirected toward you, taking in every curvature of your face, the dimples created by your smile, the way the gesture reaches your eyes, and it’s like little stars shine from your irises. Tamaki can’t help the way he grins, your laugh and your smile are infectious, much like your love for flowers.

“Have you seen one before?” you ask him, stepping towards the wall of blooms, “They’re a beautiful choice, a lot of meaning behind them. Most people have never seen one, though.”

Tamaki turns to face the flowers again, compelling himself to detract from your silhouette, “Are they rare?”

“Not necessarily,” you respond. You push yourself up on your toes to grab a bright red bud from the wall, twirling your choice blossom between your fingerprints. The scent wafts from the center of the flower, a small dusting of pollen coating Tamaki’s nose.

You giggle as you reach across to brush his skin free from the yellow powder, hand lingering just slightly too long for him to ignore your possible intent. You lick your lips, irises swallowed by your pupils for a moment, allowing him a direct line of sight into your soul. He reads you for a split second, and he swears that the look in your eyes mirrors his own when he thinks too hard about the way you move and the distinct notes of your smell. You’ve taken over every inch of his mind, every last curve of cerebrum and cerebellum.

For the first time, Tamaki is somewhat confident that you might be under the same spell.

“These are anemones,” you break him from his stupor, pulling his line of sight towards the budding flower in your grasp, “they signify anticipation – the build-up before the burst. Kind of like when you’re going to have your first kiss!”

Tamaki stutters, “T-That’s why you’d g-give someone this flower? Wh-When you want to kiss them?”

“No, silly,” you swat at him, smacking the back of your palm against his bicep. However, before you can turn away from him entirely, he notes the beautiful blush turning your cheeks to a rouge. You sigh dramatically with your hip leaned against the table, “I just mean that’s what the flower symbolizes – the tantalizing next step into the unknown.”

“Sounds scary.”

Your eyes light up as you turn to look at him again, irises gleaming under the bright lights of the flower shop, “Oh, but doesn’t it feel riveting?”

You are too close now, your pose intoxicating as he remembers every time you’ve come so near to him and he hasn’t had the strength to reach out and grasp you by the waist. Is this his time? Is this the day that he finally hands you a blossom and tells you the truth about the war raging inside of his chest? He has little soldiers prodding at his heart, stomping all over his bones, making them ache when he is adjacent to you.

Something within him wanders into the tumultuous thoughts of how you might respond, what his body would do in reaction to you. Would he finally find some relief from the plague of himself when he finally passes the threshold into adoring you on a physical level? Mentally, he’s been infatuated with you for some time now, but his throat can’t force the words out when he’s within ten feet of your frame.

Tamaki reaches out, his hand weighted down with reserve and implications. And yet, it’s almost like you lean into his touch before he can think on it too harshly, before he can make the rash decision to retract it and flee. He gasps audibly, eyes flashing to find your face, irises connecting like some sort of lighthouse out at sea, giving one another hope despite the disparity of every other moment leading up to this one.

“Anemones,” Tamaki whispers, voice curling from his throat, projecting onto you like a prayer. His hand is hot with hesitation as it rests on your rib cage, “I’ll have to remember that one.”

“Well, the people waiting on you can get over themselves. Everyone needs to learn a little patience, anyways.” You brush a hand through your hair, blowing away stray locks as they float back into your line of sight. You sigh, voice sounding dejected until your topic turns to blossoms, “I-I’m sorry if this wasn’t the place to bring you. I just figured it would be easy since it’s right next to my shop. I’d love to show you some flowers if you have time?”

“I-I’m on patrol,” he manages to push the words out from between his teeth, his throat grating like sandpaper, “I’m not sure…”

“Maybe another time, then?”

Dare he say you sound hopeful? And maybe even a little nervous?

How is it that each time his mind snaps him from you like a rubber band, you are right there, ready to stretch his limits yet again?

“I have seen this one…in Mother’s Day bouquets, I think?” Tamaki asks, unsure of himself this time as he circles the table. There are so many different types of blossoms, so many different meanings to decipher based on genus and color alone.

Your nod makes the pit in his stomach settle for some reason, and Amajiki releases a breath he didn’t realize that he was holding captive in his lungs. He’s not sure he understands why just the small reassurance of your head bobbing or your voice lilting on the right side of kind can calm the raging sea in his mind and stomach.

Tamaki is nearly tucked into your side, hands itching to find purchase against your body, his frame devoid of his typical uniform. The long sleeve shirt may cover the majority of his palms, but that does not mean he would refrain from baring his skin if it meant he could dip his toes into the edge of the ecstasy he might feel at your touch.

His fingertips are on the cusp of you, the calloused pads extended, beckoning you to come closer in a silent, desperate plea. Like your hearts are tied together in some other realm, as if you’ve done this a thousand times before, in a dozen other lives, you turn subconsciously to allow the collision of his fingerprints to impact the curve of your waist.

“Gladiolus means remembrance,” your voice is breathless as you point towards a set of buds that are seated proudly on the wall of flowers. You tilt your head upward, eyes shining as you press the heel of your palm into the column of his throat, thumb grazing his Adam’s apple to soothe it.

The weight of your words does not fall on deaf ears, Tamaki’s every sense on high alert as you speak next, “They can mean remembrance of someone past, or of someone you’re currently trying to honor. Or they can just mean a simple remember me.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* TAG LIST *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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the-starless-sky · 4 years

Text

BAE x The Cat’s Whiskers / “PRIDE” voice drama track 1

youtube

Mob A: Ahh, that was sooo great! So this is the legendary CLUB paradox's live...!

Mob B: The music was good, but the phantom was amazing, wasn't it!? Aah~ it feels like I'm still in a dream!

Mob C: Hey, which one did you vote for?

Mob D: Honestly, I was so lost! Hey, let's come again next time!

Mob C: For sure! We're not heads if we miss this!

Yohei: Seriously! I can't accept this. What's so good about that nothing but loud bunch?

Saimon: A loss is a loss. We have to accept it with our mind and body.

Yohei: Hah. You don't even think so yourself.

Ryuu: Don't fight, Boss, Master!

Yohei: It ain't a fight!

Ryuu: Master~ your face’s scary!

Yohei: Shut up.

Ryuu: And Shiki, too! Don’t be sad and gloomy [1]!

Shiki: S-sorry...

Ryuu: Muu... no helping it. At times like this... that’s right! Calisthenics, Shiki!

Shiki: Eh!?

Ryuu: Let’s go~! 1, 2, 3, 4... Come now, Shiki, you have to twist it more!

Shiki: Ouch, ouch, ouch! I can’t do more than this, Ryuu-kun!

Ryuu: Hmm...~ That’s weird... Hmm... If this joint bent here, then...!

Shiki: Stop it, Ryuu-kun! That’s...!

(Shiki bends one of Ryuu’s joints.)

Shiki: Ahh!

Yohei: Oi, oi, don’t break Shiki!

Saimon: Ryuu, it’s not good to force Shiki. Stop it right there.

Ryuu: Eeh~!? Even though it’d feel good after this...!

(Someone knocks the door.)

Saimon: Who is it? Please come in.

(Door opens.)

Anne: Good day, Saimon-sensei! Tonight, too, you’re extremely cool! You were wonderful~

Saimon: Faulkner-kun! And Sugasano-kun, and Yeon-kun. You guys came.

Allen: Yes. Today, we came as B.A.E. Well... it’s something like a courtesy call...

Hajun: Inspecting enemy movements, you can say.

Yohei: Hah! You said it. And? How was our stage?

Hajun: Fufu. Behind the times, it was.

Yohei: Ha? Oi, say that once again.

Hajun: Sigh... don’t make me say it numerous times. I said that it was behind the times, you guys’ music.

Allen: Wha－Hajun!

Anne: You don’t say that when you come to greet someone.

Hajun: I’ll say it clearly, Saimon-sensei... no, Kotonoha and God summer-san. I heard that Quadra-X [2] was a team that even got invited by an overseas fest, but... that was just a story of the past, after all, huh. How unfortunate.

Yohei: Bastard...! Just ‘cause I let a brat like you talk...

Saimon: Yohei. Indeed, that was in the past. In reality, Quadra-X has broken up, after all. However, now that we’ve reunited, there’s also Ryuu and Shiki. Our will and style towards music haven’t changed, but please understand that we’re already a different team.

Ryuu: Yeah, yeah! After all, there’s Sparkly Ryuu-kun and Gloomy Shiki now!

Shiki: I’m... gloomy...?

Yohei: And? Dissin’ us being stale, what about you guys? Just jumping at trends and thinking of yourselves as cutting-edge... ain’t that just child’s play?

Allen: Huh!? What’s with that!?

Anne: Wh－ Allen, not you too! Stop it.

Yohei: Hah! Not even having your own figure and style... there’s no meaning in doing rootless hip hop. Well-bred young masters and ladies should just sing ballads and get spoiled by others.

Allen: You said ‘style’, but isn’t saying ‘fuck off’ to bothersome stuff like customs, standards, and common sense’s what hip hop is!? We’re just spinning the sound we think is cool. The vibes that exists here and now... if you can express it, no matter how it is, we don’t care. We’ll just swallow it, drain it, and make it our sound!

Hajun: You say good things sometimes too, don’t you, Allen. If you only adhere to your own style, losing sight of discourses [3] and fear change and evolution, that’s just fossil music. It’s better to put it in a museum, is it not?

Saimon: Good grief... this is pretty harsh. They’ve got us there, didn’t they, Yohei?

Yohei: Tch.

Anne: Jeez... Both Allen and Hajun is so immature.

Ryuu: Sniff, sniff, sniff!

Anne: Ah.

Ryuu: Hmm~? Mm~? Sniff, sniff.

Anne: Whー what!?

Shiki: R-Ryuu-kun! It’s impolite to suddenly smell people like that!

Ryuu: Sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff! You with long hair, and you with spiky red hair...

Allen: Wh-what?

Ryuu: You guys have the same smell.

Allen: Ahh, that’s Anne’s perfume. He always uses so much it’sー

Anne: Grr!

(Anne punches Allen.)

Allen: It hurts!!! Suddenly punching me like that...! I’m against violence!

Anne: It’s because you’re saying rude stuff.

Ryuu: Sniff, sniff... But, you with mushroom head...

Hajun: Hm? What is it?

Ryuu: You’re being left out, aren’t you.

Hajun: Ha?

Ryuu: Ahh, but it’s not like you’re being bullied or anything. The one who left you out... is yourself, after all.

Hajun: What are you sayingー

Ryuu: Sniffsniffsniffsniffsniff!

Hajun: Oof! Could you please get away from me? You’re a bit close...

Ryuu: Sniff, sniff, sniff... That’s weird... I can’t smell ‘true scent’ coming from you.

Hajun: True scent...?

Ryuu: That’s right. You’re always inside a transparent box... Ah! I see! You don’t want to show anyone anything but your ‘clean self’, do you!

Hajun: ...!

Ryuu: Aha! You’re like a mushroom stuffed in packaging! Ahahaha, ehehehe!

Shiki: Sorry!! Ryuu-kun’s a somewhat peculiar child, so...

Hajun: Ah, no...

Shiki: Come on, Ryuu-kun. Get away from him...!

Ryuu: I wonder why~? But, if you don’t come out of there yourself... one day, you’ll rot... and become an unneeded child.

Hajun: ...Stop screwing around...

Ryuu: Hmm?

Hajun: Stop screwing around!

Ryuu: Uwooah!?

Yohei: Bastard, what are you doing suddenly!?

Ryuu: Ou-ou-ouch, ouch, ouch...!

Shiki: Are you okay, Ryuu-kun...?

Hajun: You... take back your words just now. [4]

Shiki: Words...? What do you mean?

Hajun: Don’t play dumb!! You said it, didn’t you!? That I’m a... ugh...

Allen: Stop it, Hajun! What are youー

Hajun: Shut up!!!

Allen: Ha... jun...?

Hajun: Damn it!*

Anne: Hajun!

(Hajun walks out, smashes the door close.)

Allen: He’s...

Anne: Yeah... he was seriously angry just now, wasn’t he?

Saimon: I’m sorry. Even though you guys took the time to come, somehow it turned into something serious.

Anne: Saimon-sensei...

Saimon: Don’t worry about us, go and run after him quickly.

Anne: Yes. We’re going, Allen.

Allen: Yeah...

(Allen and Anne leaves.)

(Ryuu’s stomach growls.)

Ryuu: Aa~aah, Ryuu-kun’s hungry! Heey, let’s eat Raimen-tei’s char siu ramen without the noodles and go home!

Yohei: This one’s carefree, huh? Oi, Ryuu.

Ryuu: Huh?

Yohei: What did you say to him just then?

(Tinging sound of ice in a glass.)

Saimon: Sigh. “Behind the times”... we just received quite a severe preemptive punch, didn’t we.

Yohei: Shit... ‘cause of that, I can’t get drunk at all.

(Yohei pours more drink into his glass.)

Saimon: It’s better to stop there. Trap reactions get more intense if you drink heavily, after all.

Yohei: I know.

Saimon: Shiki... has started, hasn’t he.

Yohei: Yeah. I laid him on the bed at the second floor. Ryuu’s more or less looking after him, but... Honestly, I can’t stand seeing Shiki’s ‘that’.

Saimon: Trap reaction... I wonder, just what is it that Shiki’s fighting?

Yohei: That kinda thing... nobody would want to let anyone touch the wounds in the deepest part of themselves.

Saimon: Yeah... but...

Yohei: Even so, Shiki chose the path to do it [5] with us. It’s his own resolution.

Saimon: Yeah.

Yohei: All of us is like that. If we use our metals, one day we might lose everything and die. Even so, if we don’t do it, we’ll die. Haha, jeez, what unfortunate livin’ beings. [6]

Shiki: Ah, ah...!! Ahh!! I’m sorry, I’m sorry...!! Aah...!! AAAH...!!!

Ryuu: Shiki, today too you seem in max pain...~ ‘Til how many hours left will this continue?

Shiki: Ah... it’s my fault, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry...!!

(Shiki clutches Ryuu’s hand.)

Ryuu: O-o-ouch!! If you grip Ryuu-kun’s hand with such monstrous strength, it’ll fall off!!!

Shiki: Ah...! Ryuu-kun...?

Ryuu: Oh!! You noticed!

Shiki: Ah... I-I’m sorry... I, again... When I saw the nightmare... did you keep holding my hand?

Ryuu: Yeah~! If not, Shiki’ll scream out ‘waah, waah!’ after all~

Shiki: Sorry... I’m always troubling you, don’t I?

Ryuu: It’s okay, ‘cause it’s interesting!

Shiki: Huh? Interesting?

Ryuu: After all, no matter how much Ryuu-kun uses his medal, he’s never had trap reaction, right?

Shiki: You have special constitution, after all. Honestly, I’m a bit jealous...

Ryuu: It’s boring.

Shiki: Eh?

Ryuu: After all, Ryuu-kun’s the only one left out.

Shiki: Ah... that’s not...

Ryuu: Sometimes, Ryuu-kun thinks... not having a trap reaction definitely means I couldn’t build a connection with anyone.

Shiki: Ryuu-kun...

Ryuu: Ah! You still have a fever? You do, right!?

Shiki: Ah, yeah...

Ryuu: Then, here!

Shiki: Ah!! What is it!?

Ryuu: A live octopus! If you put it on your forehead, it’s cold and feels good, right!?

Shiki: W-woah... it felt like it moved just now...!?

Ryuu: Yeah, it’s still alive, after all.

Shiki: Alive...!? Gross, take it off me quickly...!! A-ah, it hurts!

Ryuu: That’s no good, no good! You have to put it on your forehead, or your fever won’t go down~! Even though I bought it for you...

Shiki: But...!! It smells fishy... and it’s slimy... it’s gross...!!

Ryuu: Do your best, Octopus!! Such out Shiki’s fever!! If you can’t do it, I’ll eat you~!! Oh, I’ll still eat you even if you could, though, ahahaha!!

Shiki: Uhh... sobs...

(Yohei plays “Faith” intro on the piano.)

Saimon: That song... in the past, Tsubaki used to play it there a lot, didn’t she?

Yohei: Yeah... for some reason, I wanted to play it in a while.

Saimon: What do you think of B.A.E?

Yohei: They’re cheeky brats.

Saimon: Haha. But when I see them, somehow I’m reminded of the past.

Yohei: Pft.

Saimon: Yohei, Tsubaki, and I... that time when we were young, fearless, and just rushed towards our ideal music.

Yohei: Well, that young lady’s a nice woman.

(Yohei plays “Faith” intro again.)

Yohei: She’s kinda similar to Tsubaki-san, isn’t she? Their appearance’s entirely different, but like... the atmosphere, you know.

Saimon: That’s... true. But, Faulkner-kun’s not a woman, you know?

(Yohei stops playing the piano.)

Yohei: Eh...? He’s... a man?

Saimon: Fufu. Did I disappoint you?

Yohei: No way. As long as I have hip hop, it’s enough.

Saimon: Connecting people with music... do you think we can do that?

Yohei: We have no other choice, for that person who fell midway in chasing after her dream... [7] that’s the only atonement we, the people left behind, could ever do.

Saimon: Atonement... huh. I’m glad you’re here, Yohei.

Yohei: Huh?

Saimon: After I lost Tsubaki and ran to university, Yohei, you stayed in this shop and played the piano whilst waiting for me.

Yohei: It’s just that unlike you, I don’t have anywhere else to go to.

Saimon: Thank you, for doing music with me.

Yohei: W-what are you saying, after such a long time!? Disgusting!

Saimon: That’s my true feelings, though.

Yohei: Plus, there’s Ryuu and Shiki now. Quadra-X’s broke up already. The Cat’s Whiskers are us nowー

Ryuu: Hey, hey!!! Do we have a takoyaki maker!?

Yohei: Are you stupid? We’re a jazz bar! There’s no way we have that in hereー

Saimon: We do.

Yohei: We do!?

Ryuu: Yaaaaay!!! Well then, after Shiki’s fever go down and Boss and Master’s trap reaction ends, let’s have a takoyaki party!! Takoyaki party!!

Yohei: Pft. So bothersome.

Saimon: Haha.

Ryuu: Delicious takoyaki made together with everyone ♪ Run after it ‘till the ends of the takoyaki galaxy, with an aftertaste ♪ Crunchy outside, and fluffy inside, and steam coming out of your mouth ♪ Yeah, it’s done! ♪

Notes

[1] Jimejime also means damp and humid.

[2] クアドラエックス (kuadora ekkusu) - Quadra-X seems to be Yohei and Saimon (and probably also Tsubaki’s) unit in the past. I don’t know the stylization though, so I just go by what I think it is.

[3] Honestly not so sure what he meant, but probably it’s like not wanting to question tradition and stuff like that?

[4] Hajun’s always using the proper and formal ‘anata’, but here he uses the informal and pretty rude ‘omae’!!

[5] ‘Do it’, as in form a unit and perform with a phantometal.

[6] Inga na ikimon - as in living creatures with unfortunate fate/destiny.

[7] Yohei actually didn’t specify who (he just said ‘that person’ and ‘in the middle of dream’), but from the flow of the conversation, feels like it can’t be anyone else but Tsubaki...

*Thank you @spooderhearts22 for the input!

#paradox live #translation #drama cd translation #the cat's whiskers #bae

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bad-draft-stuff · 3 years

Text

c. AU 6

SO CLOSE TO SPOOP

Arsé-kun: -Friday, October 29th- Sheepy: *Another morning has come! Grif is looming ominously in the kitchen, making crunching noises. Could the source be the frozen burrito he’s eating, still in the shell?* Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Griflet, for the last time, stop eating plastic wrappers. Sheepy: Grif: They contain nutrients. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... When you get internal bleeding, I don't want to hear about it. Sheepy: Grif: Internal bleeding is no problem. Sheepy: Grif: That’s where the blood is supposed to be. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... Don't make me come out there and slap you. I won't, of course, but it sounded good. Sheepy: Grif: You can come out here? Arsé-kun: Yog: No, but I am going to try while no one is looking. Sheepy: Grif: I see. A stealth mission. Arsé-kun: Yog: And I do not want to disturb your roommates. Arsé-kun: Yog: Grandfather is preoccupied, Father is currently dealing with that I believe, and no one mortal is looking. This is my only chance to make progress. Sheepy: Grif: Go ahead, then. Arsé-kun: *A banana-yellow tentacle starts to worm its way into the room through the microwave. Some pink cotton candy-like cloud comes with it, from which a single starry orb arises* Arsé-kun: Yog: One percent invasion rate successful. I could probably keep going. Sheepy: Grif: Go on. Sheepy: *Grif finishes his burrito + plastic.* Arsé-kun: Yog: I intend to. Here I come. Arsé-kun: *Yog's human avatar comes out of the clouds, reaches out, and pats Grif's head. Pat, pat* Sheepy: Grif: ? Is there something on me? Arsé-kun: Yog: *he sighs and smiles slightly* No. I wanted contact. Sheepy: Grif: I see. We don’t get that very often. Arsé-kun: Yog: We certainly don't. Sheepy: Grif: I finished the round sandwich so I don’t have any for you. Sorry. Arsé-kun: Yog: Don't worry, I'll find something. *he sends the tentacle to the freezer to find food. it comes back with an ice-cream bar.* Sheepy: Grif: That’s called ice cream. It has a crunchy shell and creamy innards. Part of it tastes like wood. Arsé-kun: Yog: You don't eat the stick or the wrapper, Griflet. *he opens it, wraps the plastic around the stick, and has his prize. mmm. human food.* Sheepy: Grif; Stick? Wrapper? Arsé-kun: *Yog's out of the cloud to his waist, approximately, with several more tentacles of varying shades underneath. He's leaning on one with his elbow, and hand against his head. Comfy. His hair is notably not cotton candy cloud, but it's close.* Arsé-kun: Yog: The wrapper is the plastic. The wood is the stick. Neither is meant for human consumption. Sheepy: Grif: But I’m not human. It’s meant for Griflet consumption. Arsé-kun: Yog: If not for your father's eating habits, you'd also be restricted. Sheepy: Grif: ? He usually eats metal. Arsé-kun: Yog: Which humans do not. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... true. Arsé-kun: *Fou enters the kitchen to eat his food. hungery cat* Sheepy: Grif: Hi, Fou. Arsé-kun: Fou: mrrp. Sheepy: Grif: This is my dad. Arsé-kun: Fou: mrrrrAH Sheepy: Grif:? Arsé-kun: Fou: MYAAH?! *hiss, hiss, puff up* Nyaorr! Sheepy: Grif: He's nice. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Like Grandfather and Wilbur, animals don't take lightly to my being here. Arsé-kun: Yog: But he looks so soft. I'm jealous. Sheepy: Grif: He's very soft. Sheepy: Grif: Lobo is soft, too. He likes to chew on me. I think he likes me. Arsé-kun: *fou keeps just puffing up until he looks like a furry cotton ball. how scary* Sheepy: Grif: What is he doing? Arsé-kun: Yog: Cats usually puff out their fur to appear larger than they are when they feel threatened. Arsé-kun: Yog: I am likely the threat. Sheepy: Grif: Uncle does that, too. Arsé-kun: *Fou scurries away with his tail between his legs. Nope, nope!* Arsé-kun: *... Fou yelling can still be heard from here* Sheepy: Grif: Why is he yelling? Arsé-kun: Yog: I'm not looking, so I do not know. Sheepy: *Bedi enters the kitchen soon afterwards, still in his sleepwear. He looks half asleep and his hair is down for once.* Arsé-kun: *Yog looks alarmed for a brief moment* Sheepy: Bedi: ...Grif didn't eat it... There's still food in the bowl. Arsé-kun: Yog: *lowering his voice* I should probably go. Arsé-kun: Fou: Nyao! Nyao! Mraah! Hsss! Sheepy: *...Bedi, surprisingly, doesn't seem to notice Yog at all.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Sir, please, it's so completely obvious. Sheepy: *Bedi looks over to the microwave while getting out the cat food.* Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Just speaking to Griflet about potential missions. Do proceed. Sheepy: Bedi:...Oh, it's just Grif's dad. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That..?! Sheepy: Bedi: Not the dragon one. The other one. *he fills Fou's bowl to the proper amount.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: This is... Normal..? I had heard about monsters but this is beyond what I had expected.. Sheepy: Bedi: Normal isn't the word. Sheepy: Bedi: It's just how living with Griflet is. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I see... *not understanding at all* Arsé-kun: *Fou is STILL hiding from Yog behind Bedi and making noises* Sheepy: Bedi: It's okay, Fou. Arsé-kun: Fou: Nyao! Sheepy: Bedi: *he yawns and rubs his eyes* It's common for his dad to... *he finally notices Yog and trails off* Arsé-kun: Yog: .... ..... So like I said, I should probably not freak out your roommates. Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunate. Visit again soon. Okay? Arsé-kun: Yog: I'll certainly try if Father and Grandfather are both absent and the stars align. Sheepy: Grif: I see... Such strict requirements... Arsé-kun: *Yog gives Bedi a very guilty grin and a small wave, and then pats Grif again. He then withdraws in a way only described by "Looney Tunes smear-frame". One tentacle zips back into frame to steal a carton of ice cream from the freezer and bump it closed before vanishing into the cloudy microwave. And then the door slams shut.* Sheepy: Bedi: *he blinks, confused* ..... Arsé-kun: Yog: ... I am sorry you had to see that. Sheepy: Bedi:....Merlin left a science experiment in the microwave again...? Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Let us not discuss that. I have pride as a sothoth to uphold. Sheepy: Bedi:....Um, okay. Arsé-kun: *Fou gets down and sniffs before slowly moving to his food dish. Disturbance gone* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, you'll eat it now? ... I thought you were yelling because there wasn't enough. Arsé-kun: Fou: Mrrbrgrbr *hes munching* Arsé-kun: Arthur: I believe it was both situations, sir. The low food rations and... That. Sheepy: Bedi: Eels.... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Were those eels? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't know. Sheepy: Grif: It was Dad. Arsé-kun: Arthur: This answers nothing for me. Sheepy: Grif: He's... Sheepy: Grif:....... Sheepy: Grif: He's Dad. Arsé-kun: *Arthur blankly stares at him* Sheepy: Grif: He's not like anything you've seen because he isn't from this world. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I now understand Cai's desire to drink several pints of wine upon seeing Jaufre. Sheepy: Grif: Kay wants to drink when he sees me sometimes. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I believe I understand this as well now. ... Too bad. Sheepy: Grif: He drinks beer instead. I think. Arsé-kun: Arthur: We had beer. It was more pure than the riverwater, but not had as often. Sheepy: Grif: Pure? Riverwater? Arsé-kun: Arthur: We didn't have... This. *gestures to the sink* Sheepy: *Elyan is chilling out in the sink.* Arsé-kun: *Yog has fully withdrawn from the scene. He is a little embarrassed from being caught. He should have been paying attention but wasn't.* Sheepy: Bedi: That's a sink. Arsé-kun: Arthur: We didn't have this. The water looked filthy by comparison. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... that's concerning.. Sheepy: Bedi: Then how did you not get sick? Arsé-kun: Arthur: We did. Sheepy: Bedi:...Eh? Sheepy: Bedi: You can heat it to clean it, right? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I guess. Don't worry about it, it was in the past. Sheepy: Bedi: And you had Grif's Dad. He's like a walking lighter. Sheepy: Bedi: But I suppose these ideas are too late... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ..... Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: But now, not only can you get pure water from a tap, you can also keep perishables like meat good for a while! Sheepy: Bedi: That's the power of modern technology! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I don't understand at all, but I see. Sheepy: Bedi: Well... how to explain...? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't think I can... Sheepy: Bedi: Can you feel temperature? Arsé-kun: Arthur: um. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Kind of. Sheepy: *Bedi approaches the freezer and opens it* Sheepy: Bedi: Feel this. Arsé-kun: *Arthur hovers in front of it. He looks perplexed.* Sheepy: Bedi: It keeps food fresh. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Cold box.. Sheepy: Bedi: You can freeze milk to get a dessert, and you can freeze meat to keep it fresh for when you want dinner. You then can heat it up when you want to eat it. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That's amazing. Sheepy: Bedi: The bottom part that I haven't opened is less cold so it won't freeze things, but it'll still keep them fresh. Sheepy: Bedi: Of course, things do still go bad if you leave them there long enough, but it takes longer than food being exposed to room temperature. Sheepy: *Aru is petting Fou in the background* Arsé-kun: *Fou is chewing on her sleeve* Sheepy: Aru: My sleeve isn't for chewing, Fou... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I have decided I do not like the cold box. It is too cold for my liking. Sheepy: *Bedi closes it* Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose that's understandable.... Sheepy: Aru: Oh, Arthur! There you are! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Here I am. You missed what I initially called you for. Sheepy: Aru: Sorry. I wasn't fully awake yet. Sheepy: Aru: What was it? Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... What was the word you used, Sir? Eels? Sheepy: Bedi: Eels. Sheepy: Aru:...Eels? What about them? Sheepy: Aru: Beddy showed me one once. It was scary with all its teeth... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Clouds and eels. Crystal balls? But do eels have heads? Sheepy: Aru: Uhuh. Sharp teeth, nostrils, eyes... but some are cute. Sheepy: Aru: I can show you on my phone. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Then those were not eels. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe they were tentacles. Sheepy: Aru: Like on an octopus! Sheepy: Aru: Have you seen an octopus before, Arthur? Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... What the, pardon my language, heck is an octopus? Sheepy: Aru: It's squishy and lives in the water! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Hate that. Go on. Sheepy: Aru: They're incredibly intelligent and use their ability to get through basically any sized gap to their advantage. Sheepy: Aru: They have eight long arms and scuttle around. Some even carry a home with them! Sheepy: Aru: The only hard part of their body is their beak. So long as their beak fits, the rest of their body will, too. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Beak???? Eight arms??????? Arsé-kun: *poor arthur is getting overwhelmed* Sheepy: Aru: *she pulls up a picture of an octopus and shows it to Arthur* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Yes! Like that! But without the bulbous part! Sheepy: Aru: Those are its tentacles. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That's horrible and I dislike them. But that is more accurate than eel. Sheepy: Aru: They aren't so bad. Sheepy: Aru: Hmmm.... I know a good way to get you up to speed on animals! We should go to the zoo sometime!! Arsé-kun: Arthur: the what Sheepy: Aru: The zoo! It's a place where they take care of animals and let you look at them. Arsé-kun: Arthur: So a farm...? Sheepy: Aru: Ummm... well, the animals don't produce anything. Sheepy: Aru: They're more like... government owned pets? But you can visit them and learn aboutthem! There's usually a barrier between thr animal and you, though, because a lot of them eat or hurt people. Arsé-kun: Arthur: So a farm. Sheepy: Aru:...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: A cow can easily hurt someone. Sheepy: Aru: No, um... let's say you had, ummm... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Not a big deal but go on. Sheepy: Aru: And you make a big, nice environment for it. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... A farm? Sheepy: Aru: But you surround this environment with walls! Arsé-kun: Arthur: A stable??? Sheepy: Aru: They're low walls, so people can see inside, but you can't go inside. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Forbidden stable.. Sheepy: Aru: Okay, so you have this cow in an enclosed area, but everyone can look inside to see the cow. Sheepy: Aru: And then there'll be, umm... Okay, so you hire an employee. Sheepy: Aru: And this employee tells the guests facts about cows. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... So Bedwyr every time we'd pass a cow. Sheepy: Aru: Well... Yes. Okay, so you have Bedwyr. Sheepy: Aru: But then you make more, um... forbidden stables. Sheepy: Aru: But these have horses, goats, and chickens. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *entering scene* we talkin' farms..? Sheepy: Aru: And you have a big forbidden stable full of water. You put an octopus inside along wih some eels-- no!! Arsé-kun: Merlin: ....? ???? Arsé-kun: Arthur: H. How. Sheepy: Aru: Anyway, people come to look at all of the animals, and Beddy tells everyone about them! That's a zoo! Arsé-kun: Merlin: why didn't you just say the walls are made of window Sheepy: Aru: Okay, okay, so the walls are made of window! Arsé-kun: Arthur: So that's how you see in... Sheepy: Aru: But instead of having cows, goats, horses, and chickens, they'd have, um... lions! Sheepy: Aru: And elephants! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...! Sheepy: Aru: And, uhhh... panthers! Wolves... Turtles... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Dragons? Sheepy: Aru: Um... Komodo dragons, maybe. Sheepy: Aru: Humans have to take care of all of the animals, and dragons would prove too difficult to take care of, I think. Sheepy: Aru: But there's a bird that stands on one foot! Sheepy: Aru: And a horse with stripes! And...and... Merlin, you've been to the zoo before, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I have! I liked the lizards the most. Sheepy: Aru: Really? Because of dragons? Arsé-kun: Merlin: yes Sheepy: Aru: I don't actually remember much from the zoo. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It sure did have animals in it. Sheepy: Aru: ....Were you really little when you went, too, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I was like. I dunno. Eight? Sheepy: Aru: Neither of us would be good at explaining zoos to Arthur, would we... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope. Now let me be a garbage person. Arsé-kun: *Merlin goes to and opens the freezer. Investigates. Stops.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... where's my breakfast burrito? Sheepy: Bedi: Shouldn't you eat a real breakfast..eh? Sheepy: Grif: Boo-ri-toe? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Grif, did you eat a cylinder from the freezer? Sheepy: Grif: It was cold and crunchy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So many things wrong here. Sheepy: Grif: I didn't like the shell very much Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Did you eat my ice cream too?? Sheepy: Grif: Ice cream? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I just opened a whole carton of ice cream but it's gone..! Where is my food going?? Sheepy: Grif:....Have you checked the microwave? Arsé-kun: Merlin: wot Sheepy: Grif: The microwave? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Why would it be there?? Sheepy: Grif: You haven't checked? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Tentacle eels were in there before. Arsé-kun: Merlin: >:V ??????? Sheepy: Bedi: It looked like a science experiment gone wrong, but it was Grif's dad... Sheepy: Grif: Well, Dad doesn't get ice cream very often. Arsé-kun: *Merlin grimaces and opens the microwave. A twenty dollar bill falls out. There's an ice cream stain on it.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wow! Grif's dad pays back better than Tristan ever has! Sheepy: Grif: Look. He paid you for the ice cream. Make sure to thank him. He doesn't do that for just anyone. He bleeds Herb dry, I've heard. Arsé-kun: Kay: the fuck is going on in here?? I heard zoos, tentacles, orb dad, Tristan's unending debts, and forbidden stables all in the last bathroom break. Sheepy: Grif: Dad was in the microwave and he ate Merlin's ice cream. Sheepy: Aru: Kay, let's go to the zoo! Arsé-kun: Kay: under-fucking-standable, I got mo- what Sheepy: Aru: Arthur doesn't know animals, so we need to show them to him. Arsé-kun: Kay: In this fuckin' economy? How are we gonna get there? Sheepy: Aru: Um... Arsé-kun: Kay: Exactly. Sheepy: Aru: Dove! Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell no. Sheepy: Aru:?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Not doin' that again. Sheepy: Aru: Okay, Merlin, let's go to the zoo! Sheepy: Grif: Dad should be around still if you want to see a dragon, but you've probably seen him enough for it not to be a unique experience. Sheepy: Grif: If you want a zoo here, Elyan might be willing to become different animals, but he might turn into your phone instead of the animal on it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sure, I can teleport, but not THAT far! Sheepy: Aru: Darn... Sheepy: Aru: Maybe one day we can go to the zoo. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But not today. Sheepy: Aru: Yes... Arsé-kun: *Merlin needs his garbage person fix, and has started pouring two different cereals into one bowl. This is a disaster* Sheepy: Aru: Does that taste like anything detectable? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It tastes like sugar. Sheepy: Bedi: It's not a real breakfast... Sheepy: Bedi: It'll make it hard for you to focus later in the day. Arsé-kun: Merlin: My planned one got eaten, so I ain't got much of a choice. Sheepy: Bedi: Um... is this really the only choice? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Ain't got class, so we can make a good lunch later. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, that works. Sheepy: Bedi: Are you going to be taking lessons from Misyr later? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I do hope so. Hey Aru, you wanna come with? Sheepy: Aru: I've never met him before. I'm not really allowed in the meetings they have, but even if I was, Misyr doesn't show up anyway, I've heard. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm just gonna end up repeating what I learn to you anyway. Sheepy: Aru: Well, I'll definitely go! Sheepy: Aru: I've just gotten the impression in the past that, well... No, it doesn't really matter! Sheepy: Aru: Anyway, I'm looking forward to it! Sheepy: Aru: Oh, I could show you a cafe, Arthur! ... Is it okay to take him outside, actually? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... That's a good question. I've always wanted to see ghosts, but that's as far as I got. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... He probably wouldn't be the weirdest thing on campus, but maybe the sword's the safest bet. I dunno. Sheepy: Aru: Wouldn't a sword look suspicious? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's Halloween week. Who cares? Sheepy: Aru: Oh...! You're right! Okay, so I'll just bring him in the sword! Sheepy: Aru: You don't mind, right, Arthur? Sheepy: Aru: By the way, just so you know, this is actually a school! Instead of only certain figures knowing how to read and write, basically everyone does now. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Everyone can? That's a major improvement. Sheepy: Aru: I don't want to say everyone, because, um... Sheepy: Grif:....I'm learning. Arsé-kun: *Kay makes a disgruntled face at Aru in the background. I forgot he was there* Sheepy: Aru: I-I didn't say anything! Arsé-kun: Merlin: .. Hey, wait, I just got a stupid idea! Sheepy: Aru: What is it? Arsé-kun: *Merlin gets up from the table and runs out. He comes back with a broom. Kay stares at him* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, you're cleaning up after yourself for once! How wonderful! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm not gonna broom up a cereal bowl!!! Sheepy: Bedi: How disappointing... Sheepy: Aru: What's it for? Sheepy: Aru:........ Arsé-kun: Merlin: I may have miscalculated but the idea is solid! Sheepy: Aru: Oh...! Oh I should be clapping, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Save that for when I manage more than assflooring myself. Sheepy: Aru: I have a feeling based on what I've heard about Misyr he probably doesn't know how to do it either, so he might be useless for that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What'd you hear? You wanna share? Sheepy: Aru: Ummm.. how to put it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What I know is he can't heal and I'm pretty sure his phone is fucked. Sheepy: Aru: Myrrdin warned me about a few of the Merlins when he met me and Misyr was one of them. Something about being a "cheating liar to his very core" and "having a complete makeover to hide something dark residing within him". Sheepy: Aru:...Although, he's so critical about everyone! What a stiff guy! Arsé-kun: Merlin: So he went to hot topic? Sheepy: Aru: Maybe! Sheepy: Aru: Myrrdin didn't really add any details to that, but it might be a "you darn kids, stop dyeing your hair with your newfangled dyes!" deal. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's only purple. Malleus' is blue. Arsé-kun: *fou has gotten onto the broom and is now licking his paws. fou 1 merlin 0* Sheepy: Aru: Blue? Is that a natural hair color? Arsé-kun: Merlin: As far as I'm aware! Sheepy: Aru: Maybe Merlins prematurely go white and hide it with hair dye. Arsé-kun: Merlin: uh. *has white hair* Sheepy: Aru: Do you plan to hide it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: No? I like my hair the way it is! Sheepy: Aru: Oh. Okay. Sheepy: Aru: By the way, Merlin. I know it's a silly question, but what do you intend to do with your powers when you become a fully fledged wizard? Help others? Disappear into a world of your own in pursuit of knowledge? Hide your identity to fit in with society? I want to know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Woah, woah, hold up! I haven't even finished college yet and you're asking me about that?! Sheepy: Aru: Well, it's something to think about. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We get there when we get there! But not now! Sheepy: Aru: Really? I think about it a lot... but okay! Arsé-kun: Kay: You're like five, stop having existential crisises. It makes me look bad. Sheepy: Aru: You can have an existential crisis too! By the way, when are we going? Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't ask me. I'm not in the magic club. Sheepy: Aru: Well, Merlin could answer. Arsé-kun: Merlin: As soon as I figure this out. *he puts a leg over the broom and gives it a second try. He stays on this time!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, we can go! Sheepy: Aru: *clap, clap* Good job! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thank you, thank you! Balance is still important! Sheepy: Aru: Yes! Sheepy: *They head to the cafe!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin falls off the broom several times on the way, but that's okay! It's a learning experience. Do not roll the broom when turning.* Sheepy: Misyr: --Ahaha, I have no clue what you're talking about! Arsé-kun: Watson: Yes you do. Cut the crap. Sheepy: Misyr: Isn't being able to blow up the sun enough credentials for being a demon king? Arsé-kun: Watson: That isn't exactly a demonic trait. Sheepy: Misyr: What do you think I am, then? Arsé-kun: Watson: I don't know, but not that. Sheepy: Misyr: And if you're wrong? Arsé-kun: Watson: Then I'm wrong. Sheepy: Misyr: Then wrong you are! Arsé-kun: Watson: Okay, then what ring of Hell do you hail from? Sheepy: Misyr:........ Sheepy: Misyr: Demons don't all come from Hell! Arsé-kun: Watson: Okay, so Judeo-Christianity is off the list. Sheepy: Misyr: Ahahaha.... Arsé-kun: Watson: .. Oh, your grandkid is here. We'll continue this later. Sheepy: Misyr: Nah, he's messing around in some casino. Arsé-kun: Merlin: One of us works in a casino?? Sheepy: Misyr: Maximillion, my grandson. Lucky number seven. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Is he a nerd? That sounds like a nerd name. I respect it. Sheepy: Misyr: Ehhh... Not really. The big nerd is 10. Mint. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So I'm closer to the nerd.. Sheepy: Misyr: Yup! Sheepy: Misyr: He's incredibly gullible. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nice... Oh, right! Look! Sheepy: Misyr: What's up? Arsé-kun: *Merlin gestures to the broom he hasn't gotten off of* Sheepy: Misyr: Good job! Arsé-kun: *Fou is still proudly sitting on the front of it. Fou's day out* Sheepy: Misyr: What's that? Arsé-kun: Merlin: This is Fou! He's Bedi's cat. Bastard. Sheepy: Misyr: A cat? Really? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm not gonna challenge it! Arsé-kun: Fou: Mrrp? Sheepy: Misyr: Nine loves cats. Sheepy: Misyr:... I haven't really met them, though! I just use social media sometimes! Sheepy: Misyr: We should show Mewlin. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Mewlin... Sheepy: Aru: Mewlin...? And Cat Mint? Sheepy: Misyr: The cat references end there, because unfortunately Mint indirectly put the worst Merlin into existence by being his grandpa. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Worse than blowing things up? Sheepy: Misyr: I keep deleting his tweets because I love humanity and don't want to see it suffer. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... So really bad? Sheepy: Misyr: Yeah. Huge flirt. I wouldn't be surprised if 10... Mint ended up with a succubus or his kid ended up with an incubus and it resulted in 11. Sheepy: Misyr: Like I said, I haven't really met most of the family, so don't quote me on that! He just seems like a huge creep based on his tweets. Sheepy: Misyr: Oh, right, did you need something? Arsé-kun: Merlin: lesson Sheepy: Misyr: ...Oh, I forgot about that! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But can I bring my student too? Sheepy: Misyr: No problem. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Great! Aru, where'd you go? Sheepy: Aru: I'm still here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Aight, cool! Sheepy: Aru: I was just watching over Arthur. He doesn't know any of what's in here, I think... Sheepy: Misyr:....? Arthur? Sheepy: Aru: He's my ghost friend. Arsé-kun: *Merlin gets into his seat and starts scrolling mobile twitter while he waits.* Sheepy: Aru: Arthur, when you hit this button, coffee comes out! ...Oh, do you know what coffee is? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I do not. Sheepy: Aru: It's, umm... Sheepy: Aru: It's a drink made of beans. Sheepy: Aru: And the beans are poisonous to bugs, but the poison makes humans really alert and energetic. Caffeine! Caffeine's in tea and chocolate, too! Sheepy: Aru: People use it to stay up all night or wake up in the morning, but it's really bitter, so I wouldn't drink it! Sheepy: Aru:....But how did knights wake up early and work late without coffee, I wonder...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: The same way you do. By simply doing so. Sheepy: Aru: So Teacher made you get up, too... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Of course. Best to start early in the morning. Sheepy: Aru: College students don't think so. Arsé-kun: Arthur: They seem to be busy even at night, so I would understand the frustration. Sheepy: Misyr: Ghost... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wild, ain't it? I kinda wanna bust out some of my cheap equipment and see if it actually works. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Right, the lesson! Teach me, gramps! Sheepy: Misyr: Oh, yes! Let's start! Sheepy: *Misyr starts the lesson!* Arsé-kun: *Arthur stops investigating to watch this. He's mostly watching Misyr* Sheepy: *Misyr seems to be slowly getting more and more uncomfortable...* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Is my presence bothering you, sir? My apologies. Sheepy: Misyr: Ahaha... no, but is there something on my face? Arsé-kun: Arthur: No. I wanted to see how you taught in comparison to Merlin the first. I reckon you are far easier to follow along with. Sheepy: Misyr: Well, that's more because you're a good student! Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... I will not answer that for my own dignity. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Has anyone told you that you have a strange aura before? Sheepy: Misyr:...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Or perhaps that is due to your demonic nature.. I would not know. Sheepy: Misyr: Uh...Yeah, that must be it! Sheepy: Misyr: Demon lords feel really different! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I see. Do go on. Sheepy: Misyr: Like... did you know that we can cause a flood from our pure sadness alone? Arsé-kun: Arthur: That is distressing. Sheepy: Misyr: Aahahaha! Just wait until I blow up a local volcano from joy! Sheepy: Misyr: Just don't count on me to heal anyone. We're forces of destruction! Someone like me couldn't help anyone. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, like how you blew up that Colour back in Aggy's kitchen! You sure exploded it! Sheepy: Misyr: Yes, yes, that's what I'm good at! Ahahaha! ... Eh, but I'd really recommend being good at more than just destroying things! Really, there's no happiness to be gained from such a limited skill set! Arsé-kun: *Meanwhile! Kay has decided, since even Fou has left, that he can clean the goddamn house for once. Finally.* Sheepy: *Grif is watching him very closely.* Sheepy: Grif: ... I can break things so you don't run out of things to clean. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he stops* I'd kick your ass if you did. Sheepy: Grif: Try me. I'm strong. ... Wait, no, that's not how I'm supposed to respond, is it... Arsé-kun: Kay: You'd snap me in half like a goddamn twig. I'd probably thank you for it. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Do you like being snapped in half? Arsé-kun: Kay: No. I don't like dying the way you do. Sheepy: Grif: I don't like dying. Sheepy: Grif: It just is part of my job. As I get better at my job, I will be stronger, but simultaneously so will my enemies. Thus, there'll always be something out there that can and will kill me. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I'm gonna keep making fun of you for it, but I'll apologize eventually. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Sheepy: Grif: Is it funny? Arsé-kun: Kay: Because it's so fucked. Sheepy: Grif: It doesn't bother me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, yeah. *he goes back to dusting* It's normal for you. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. It has to be, so it isn't normal for anyone else. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... That's true. Fine, sorry. Sheepy: Grif: There's no need to apologize. It doesn't bother me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, but I'm bitching at you about it, so that's on me. Just. Not in front of me, ya hear? Sheepy: Grif: I will only die when I know you won't see it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, cool. Sheepy: Grif: I will increase my stealth skill... I am sure stealth dying is on the list of skills somehow. Tomorrow should give a good bonus to Stealth. Sheepy: Grif: I will be in costume, thereby hiding my identity. Stealthy. Sheepy: Grif: I am looking forward to it. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's in two days, dipshit. Sheepy: Grif: Eh? Two? Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunate. I'll train another skill today. Sheepy: Grif: Kay, teach me to do what you're doing. Arsé-kun: Kay: Cleaning?? Are you sure? You can't break anything. Arsé-kun: Kay: Absolutely not. Fuck you. Sheepy: Grif: Try it, try it. You'll get 1 Brawling XP by smashing things. It is miniscule and barely worth it, but it exists. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Arsé-kun: *Kay picks up a wrapping paper tube he intended to throw out, and bonks Grif with it. 1xp gained* Sheepy: Grif: Yes. That's the way. Sheepy: Grif: It's important to have a little bit of Brawling skill. Arsé-kun: Kay: Checks out. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, if you show me, I won't break anything. Intentionally. Sheepy: Grif: I can't promise I won't unintentionally. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fine, but I'm gonna bully you into lifting things for me. Sheepy: Grif: I am strong. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, you sure are. Sheepy: Grif: I can lift things. Arsé-kun: *With the combined power of Kay's ability to clean and Grif's ability to lift heavy objects, the dorm gets cleaned! Hooray!* Sheepy: *Grif is pleased with himself!* Arsé-kun: *Kay is also pleased!* Sheepy: Grif: Dad is not good at things like this. Nor am I. Arsé-kun: Kay: I see this. Sheepy: Grif: That's why I'll learn from you. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, it looks nice now. Thank you. Sheepy: Grif: By the way, did you know? The barrier is weakest around now. Make sure to stay safe. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's so goddamn ominous, but like hell if I didn't know, thanks! Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I will protect you as best as I can. Sheepy: *Elyan is watching the two.* Sheepy: Elyan: *Merlin voice* Hewwwoo!!! It's clean!! Arsé-kun: *Kay stares at Elyan* Sheepy: Elyan:..... Sheepy: Grif:....Uh... Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, it's clean, so don't you make a mess! Sheepy: Elyan: Woooww!!! Messy!! Sheepy: *Elyan spreads his tail out! Shake, shake, shake, shake- he left a feather on the floor! You found 1x Peacock(?) feather!* Sheepy: Grif: He just said not to do that... Arsé-kun: *Kay picks it up and puts it in the trash* Sheepy: *The feather looked like an imitation made by someone who didn't know what a peacock was past a few sightings anyway.* Sheepy: Elyan: Gift... trash! You did it! Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure did. I said no messes and you made one! Arsé-kun: *Kay starts taking the trash bag out of the can and tying it shut. The final step* Sheepy: Elyan: *he spreads his wings out. menacing* Bazinga! Arsé-kun: Kay: *deadpan* Penner, delete system 32. Bazongos. Sheepy: Elyan:? ... Arsé-kun: Kay: Ask Merlin, you shit bird. Sheepy: Elyan: *Slightly squeaky Kay imiration* Bazongos! Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, now say fuck Sheepy: Elyan: *he's back to his Merlin imitation* Vavoom! Arsé-kun: Kay: 2/10, bird doesn't curse. Sheepy: Elyan: Gift! Take it, bird! *he drops another feather* Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, fine! God, I see where you got this from, you stupid puddle. *Kay picks up the feather and leaves briefly to put it in his room* Sheepy: Grif: Puddle... I heard that he was originally found in a fountain. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe fountains are like dorm rooms for water. There's schools of fish, so maybe he attended? Sheepy: Grif: But I was told he has very little intelligence and just imitates others. So maybe not. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why would fish live in fuckin' fountains? Sheepy: Grif: Why do humans go on vacation? Sheepy: Grif: To see sights they usually don't see. Arsé-kun: *Kay looks confused by this* Sheepy: Grif: Fish don't see fountains usually, so they'd vacation there. Maybe. Arsé-kun: Kay: how Sheepy: Grif: How? Sheepy: Grif: They'd just walk there... Arsé-kun: Kay: Fish can't walk, asshole! Sheepy: Grif: How did fish get into almost all bodies of water, then? Arsé-kun: Kay: They always lived there?? Sheepy: Grif: There was a time before fish. Some of those bodies of water may have been manmade, too. Therefore, the fish must have been put there somehow. Sheepy: Grif: Meaning... fish could very easily live in a fountain. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... Fish were the earliest animals on the planet. Humans did not exist yet. Dragons did not exist yet. I did, but that is not relevant. Sheepy: Grif: Wrong. There was something before. Arsé-kun: Yog: Lesser-celled organisms. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... Arsé-kun: Yog: And many of them evolved into fish. Sheepy: Grif: But if fish came before manmade bodiesof water, there is no way they should be able to be in them. But...they are. Sheepy: Grif: So clearly they got there somehow. Sheepy: Grif: They either walked or someone put them there. Arsé-kun: Yog: Humans can relocate fish. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. So then it'd be perfectly logical for fish to be in a fountain. Arsé-kun: Yog: Fountains are for design more than survivability of whatever is living inside. Sheepy: Grif:..... Arsé-kun: Kay: Here, hold this. *he hands Grif a tied-shut trashbag, and slings the other over his own shoulder* Sheepy: Grif: *he takes it* Thank you for this gift. I will treasure it. Arsé-kun: Kay: No, stupid, it's trash. We're gonna get rid of it. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... And didn't you say those colours eat anything? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: We can feed them. Arsé-kun: Kay: If they eat trash, then it leaves no trash behind and it feeds them. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Great idea. Let's do it. Sheepy: Grif: I have heard feeding ducks is a good bonding experience. Just imagine they're ducks. Okay? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm glad you liked the idea. *kay is pleased* Sheepy: Grif: It's a bonding experience. Let's go, let's go. Arsé-kun: Kay: Lets. You take the lead. Sheepy: *Grif heads out to where the colors are!* Arsé-kun: *Kay follows him* Sheepy: Grif: We're here. I hope they like it. Arsé-kun: Kay: You toss them in. I don't think I could. Sheepy: Grif: Right. *He tosses the bags of trash over the wall! Yeet!* Arsé-kun: Kay: And that's that. If it gets the Colours to leave, then we get to explore it. If it doesn't, whatever. Sheepy: Shuu: What are you two even talking about... No, it doesn't matter. It likes trash, huh? So it should like this. Sheepy: Grif: It's a veggie bowl. They give good stat bonuses. Arsé-kun: Kay: Shut up for a moment, Grif. Arsé-kun: Kay: And yeah, you don't wanna know. But if you wanna throw your trash over it, go nuts. Sheepy: Shuu: If I slip it to you two without anyone seeing, I can still claim I ate it. Sheepy: Grif: If you eat a veggie bowl regularly, you can toss it up without my help. Sheepy: Grif:...Ha. Ha. Ha. No. It gives DEF and HP. Not STR. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Hmm. Nope. Sheepy: Shuu: How merciless of you. Sheepy: Shuu: Leaving me with this wretched thing... Arsé-kun: Kay: Sucks. Sheepy: Grif: Veggie bowls can be eaten with Sauce for extra stat points. Sheepy: Shuu: If you think it's so great, you can eat it. Sheepy: Grif: No. It's not my food. Sheepy: Shuu: Ugh. This was useless. Maybe I can conveniently accidentally drop it near some squirrels. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can't help with that, emo man. Good fuckin' luck. Sheepy: Shuu: I'll make my luck. Sheepy: *Shuu heads off to find someone to dump the salad on.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Well, that's that. Sheepy: *The two head back!* Sheepy: Crow: *he's inhaling a salad!* Arsé-kun: *Kay doesn't pay it mind. None of his damn business* Sheepy: Crow: *in between bites* You're not gonna believe this! Just when I was thinking about how hungry I was, that obnoxious sparkling creep gave me a salad! Hah! He must've realized how great I was!! Arsé-kun: ?: He must not have wanted it. Sheepy: Crow: Is that why it's so warm...? Sheesh, what am I?! A walking trash bin?! Arsé-kun: ?: Yes. Arsé-kun: *Kay glances back, wondering if Crow meant Shuu* Sheepy: Crow: That creep's gonna pay! ...Ouch! You aren't supposed to agree! Arsé-kun: ?: Hm, hm. That is tragic. Arsé-kun: ?: But did you... You know. Sheepy: Crow: Well, no, but now I'm gonna! Arsé-kun: ?: Then go do it. I will take my targets, you take yours. Sheepy: Crow: I've got a feeling I know where he is! ...Just don't tell Rom! Arsé-kun: ?: As if I speak to anyone here. Sheepy: Crow: You speak to not just anyone... you speak to the great Crow!! Arsé-kun: ?: ... You're also a fool along with being a trash bin. Sheepy: Crow: Ouch!!! Arsé-kun: *Kay has stopped and leaned on a tree to absolutely not eavesdrop on this interesting conversation* Sheepy: *Crow tosses his empty salad container in the correct trash bin* Arsé-kun: ?: Good work. One day you'll remember to sort souls that well too. Sheepy: Crow: They're all cattle, so it doesn't really matter! Arsé-kun: ?: It does matter... Sheepy: Crow: They're all going to the same place, right? So it's okay to eat your peas with your carrots! Same goes for souls. Arsé-kun: ?: .... They're absolutely not. Please leave before I reap you too. Sheepy: Crow: Scary!! Okay, I'm going, I'm going!!! Sheepy: Crow: *he rushes off to the Delinquent Club* Arsé-kun: *Kay raises an eyebrow before deciding to leave. He misses the other man turning his head almost completely 180° to stare at him. Thankfully.* Arsé-kun: *Kay gets home fine, and immediately makes a point to bother Grif once he puts last-minute groceries away* Arsé-kun: *ELSEWHERE* Sheepy: *Crow kicks the door open and poses* A miracle born in a wavering moment clad in crimson scarlet... CROW! Has arrived! Arsé-kun: Pink: That's a weird bird! Arsé-kun: *Lance has a cardiac arrest in the bg* Sheepy: Shuu: It's just Corn. Ignore him and he'll go away. Sheepy: Crow: Bare your cattle soul to me, punk! You treated the great Crow like a trash can, so that's where you're gonna go!! Arsé-kun: Mngwa: Do trashcans usually have bangin' capes? Sheepy: Crow: No! At least SOMEONE agrees my outfit is cool!! Sheepy: *Crow summons Red Tomahawk to his hand!* Sheepy: *Crow suddenly lunges at Shuu and hits him with Red Tomahawk before he can react! No visible damage was lift, but... poof! Shuu's a blond!* Arsé-kun: Mngwa: Okay, what the FUCK was that?! Sheepy: Clover: ...What did you just... do? Arsé-kun: Ignis: I don't think it's free dye jobs! *he gets up and blocks Il* Sheepy: Crow:...? Sheepy: Crow: No! I did my job! Sheepy: Crow: But usually that doesn't happen... Sheepy: Il: Oh. I suppose that even after almost all angels have fallen, the angel of death would still be around. What a hard worker Sheepy: Crow: I'm a fallen angel!! Get it right! Sheepy: Il:....? Arsé-kun: Ignis: He SAID fallen already! Did you kill Shuu?! Sheepy: Crow: Huh? Arsé-kun: Ignis: You hard of hearing?? Did you? Kill our foxy man? Sheepy: Crow: Oh, I hope so! He's been dodging us for a while! Man... I'm gonna look SO cool to all the reapers!! Fallen Angel: 1, Reaper: 0!! Sheepy: Il: But you are not fallen. Arsé-kun: *Crow is shot by a paintball gun courtesy of Mngwa. He might not be Dr. Jack, but...* Arsé-kun: Mngwa: You come into our goddamn house and do this?? Sheepy: Crow: Owowow!! Sheepy: Crow: Man, you guys are jerks! This stinks! I'm going home! Arsé-kun: Mngwa: Clover, permission to open on full auto?? Sheepy: Clover: Go ahead. Arsé-kun: *Mngwa picks up and mounts an even bigger paintball gun on the railing. Rattatattatattta* Sheepy: Crow: Hyeeeek!! That HURTS!!! Sheepy: *Crow turns tail and starts to flee!* Sheepy: Shuu: He's running away ⭐️ Too bad ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Pink: You're aliiiiive! Sheepy: Shuu: Ahahaha, it's really cold ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Ignis: .... I'll fetch the bastard. You guys get ready to pummel. Sheepy: Il: Pummel? Why? He is doing his job. Arsé-kun: Ignis: We're delinquents. We're gonna ruin his day. Sheepy: Il: Oh, I see! I will get to witness true delinquents before my very eyes...! Wonderful! Sheepy: Il: Good luck on your chase. Arsé-kun: *Ignis gives Il a thumbs up, and runs out* Sheepy: *Crow is running as fast as he can!* Arsé-kun: *Ignis is hot on his tail, literally.* Sheepy: Crow: B-Boooosss!!! Where are you?! I need help!! Arsé-kun: Kay: --- There, that's the guy! You know him, Grif? Sheepy: Grif: No. Arsé-kun: Kay: Huh, do we step in? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Go gettem, Grif! Arsé-kun: *Ignis takes advantage of this and throws himself at Crow as well!* Sheepy: *Crow barely stumbles out of the way!* Arsé-kun: *Ignis eats dirt facefirst. Graceful* Sheepy: Crow: Boooosss!! BOOOOSSS!! Arsé-kun: *No one is coming to save you* Sheepy: Crow: Uhhh...uhhh...! You can't hit me! You'd be defying death! Which, which... it's against the law! No punching me when I'm on the job! Sheepy: Grif: I don't care about the law. Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif can't die anyway! *he's cheering Grif on from over there* He always comes back! Sheepy: Crow: Wh-what!? No fair... Sheepy: Crow: I don't get it! I don't beat you up for doing what you do! So why beat me up?! Sheepy: Crow: And if I hit you guys, it'll be dealing with you prematurely! This stinks! Arsé-kun: Ignis: Because he ain't goin' yet! He's still alive! Sheepy: Crow: But he's on my list and has been for a while! Sheepy: Crow: If you leave me alone, I'll give you my autograph later, okay?! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Okay, how about this. Keep anyone else you got, but put this one back. At least wait until he's physically dying to do it?? Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: B...but... Arsé-kun: Kay: People don't just drop dead for no goddamn reason. Sheepy: Crow:..... Arsé-kun: Kay: You can't be bitched at if you snipe a man when it's appropriate! Arsé-kun: *Ignis gives Kay a death glare. Kay flips him off* Sheepy: Crow: Boss is gonna be so disappointed...! Arsé-kun: Kay: Tragic. Get a sense of timing. Sheepy: Crow: Where? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Grif, this is what you sound like sometimes. Sheepy: Grif: Wrong. He's worse. Arsé-kun: Kay: Harsh! Sheepy: Crow: Ouch...! Arsé-kun: *Ignis squints and sniffs the air before looking around. Who is coming?* Sheepy: *Shuu has arrived! He's slowly approaching, stumbling and shaking all over. His eyes look lifeless...* Arsé-kun: Ignis: ..! Sheepy: Shuu: Okay ⭐️ Fun's over, give it back ⭐️ Sheepy: Crow: E...EH?? You're supposed to be all dead and stuff! You guys have been bullying me for no reason! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I have no idea what's happening now. Sheepy: Grif: I see. We involved ourselves in a confusing situation. Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Paimon* This is indirectly my fault, but I am not apologizing. Sheepy: Grif: Did you revive him? Arsé-kun: Yog: Quite the opposite. I tried to have him killed for breaching an important rule. I still have not found that hound. Sheepy: Crow: B-b-bOOOOSSS!! There's a DEAD GUY!! He's walking TOWARDS ME!! Sheepy: Grif: I see. He cheated death and now he's being punished. Arsé-kun: Yog: This was one of the rare instances of my hounds losing. I genuinely do not know what happened. Sheepy: Shuu: Give it back ⭐️ Arsé-kun: *Very distant car horn* Sheepy: Crow: BOSS!! Sheepy: *Crow starts fleeing towards the car horn!* Arsé-kun: Ignis: Oh no you don't!! *he hauls ass after Crow... on all fours. This is somehow FASTER* Sheepy: Crow: NONONONO!!! Sheepy: *Shuu doesn't pursue them very far. His stumbling finally results in him collapsing to his knees.* Sheepy: *Crow suddenly whips around and aims to hit Ignis (non-lethally) with Red Tomahawk! It's back!* Arsé-kun: *Ignis goes flying! He ends up slamming into a building before dropping to the ground. Critical hit.* Sheepy: *Crow uses this window of opportunity to try to get to the car!* Arsé-kun: *He can see the headlights! He can see the car!* Arsé-kun: *...He can see Rom's fist inches from his face!* Sheepy: Crow: E-EEHH?! Arsé-kun: Rom: ABSOLUTELY NOT! Sheepy: *Fist, meet Crow's face! He's launched, doing a few somersault before finally stopping. He's in the traditional butt-in-the-air death pose. Oof.* Arsé-kun: *The loud CRACK on impact was probably not good, but Rom ignores it in favor of stomping over and stealing the lunchbox.* Sheepy: Crow: W-why my face?! *he lifts his head. his nose is bleeding...* That hurt!! Arsé-kun: Rom: Because I know you hate it. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, 'cuz it HURTS!! Arsé-kun: Rom: I've told you not to mess with Shuu! Several times! Sheepy: Crow: But my list! Arsé-kun: Rom: Over my dead body! Sheepy: Crow: Yours...? Arsé-kun: Rom: Yeah, sure! I've got time! Sheepy: Crow: But I don't wanna see you die... I'd cry! Arsé-kun: Rom: It'll happen. Now if you don't mind. *he opens the lunchbox to let the soul out* Sheepy: *It quickly makes its way to Shuu!* Arsé-kun: *Kay stayed put with Shuu, so he sees this* Sheepy: Shuu: My hero ⭐️ ... I was really cold without that, you know! Arsé-kun: Kay: .... So you're good now? Sheepy: Shuu: "Good" is an overstatement. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Don't sass me, blondie. You're gonna live? Sheepy: Shuu: I always do. Sheepy: Crow: Tough words from a guy who used me like a trash can! Sheepy: Crow: Eat your own food next time! Arsé-kun: Rom: Go home, Crow. I'll see you at lunch tomorrow. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? You're still gonna be my friend? Arsé-kun: Rom: I punched you for your crime. We're even. Sheepy: Crow: *he whimpers before suddenly hugging Rom* *sob* You're the best friend anyone could ask for!! Arsé-kun: Rom: ... *he sighs* I'm glad to hear it. Now please go home. Sheepy: Crow: I need my lunchbox back first! Arsé-kun: Rom: ..... Right. *rom gives it back* Sheepy: Crow: I'll see you tomorrow, Rom, Shuu! Don't miss me too much! Bye! *he heads back to the car* Sheepy: *Crow enters the car.* Arsé-kun: *The other reaper gets back in and drives off. The license plate reads "θænətɒs". How'd he get those weird letters on there??* Sheepy: Shuu: ... That’s a new one. He got me ⭐️ I need to up my game. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Y'know what? This isn't the weirdest shit I've ever seen. So that's normal for you, that's unusual but I get it. Sheepy: Shuu: When you make bad decisions, you get to deal with the consequences. Sheepy: Shuu: I can’t go back⭐ Arsé-kun: Kay: .. On campus, you sass-squatch. Sheepy: Shuu: I’d like that, but Rom seems in more desperate straits. Sheepy: Grif: ... By the way. Have we seen him somewhere before? Arsé-kun: *Rom is pacing, tightly grasping his Crow-punching hand and grimacing* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Yeah, we saw him when we threw out the trash. Sheepy: Shuu: Rom, Rom ⭐️ Let’s go to the hospital together ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Rom: ...! Sheepy: Grif: No, that was a different guy. Arsé-kun: Rom: I'd like that... Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, you moron, his hair was a different color. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. Humans can change it so quickly... Arsé-kun: *Kay stares at Grif* Sheepy: Shuu: Okay, let’s get going then ⭐️ *he unsteadily stands before stumbling over to Rom* Arsé-kun: *Rom tries to support him with his good hand* Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Humans don't have tails usually..! But okay, forget it. Sheepy: Grif: Then what’s the tailbone for? Arsé-kun: Kay: I have no idea. Ask Doc West next class. Sheepy: Grif: I’ll ask him many things. For example, the purpose of four ears. Arsé-kun: *In the far bg, Ignis has gone back to the club. He's okay!* Sheepy: *Il is especially happy!* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I'm not sure if this was weirder than Glaaki or not. One's a giant space slug, this was literally death.. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... And with strange eons, even death may die. *Unhelpful!!!* Sheepy: Grif: For death, he seemed inexperienced. Maybe he’s new. Sheepy: Grif: If he was an experienced death, and maybe a more irritable death, none of us would have survived that. Sheepy: Grif: I heard on one of my quests that death [occupation] has had issues due to the off the path issues. It’s possible the others fell, quit, or died off, and we’re stuck with just him and the driver. Arsé-kun: Kay: So I'm absolutely gonna have a moral crisis when we get home, but let's not talk about that. Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Okay. Arsé-kun: Kay: Did you see how I stood up to him anyway?? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Very brave of you. Arsé-kun: *Kay is Pleased!* Sheepy: Grif: You did it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Put THAT on my adventurer's resume! Sheepy: Grif: There's a resume? Arsé-kun: Kay: If there was? Sheepy: Grif: I'll consider it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, lets go back home and stay there this fucking time. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Arsé-kun: *THEY GO HOME* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, you're home! Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm back! I sassed an angel. There was some other stuff but that's not important! Sheepy: Bedi: An angel? Arsé-kun: Kay: Some puny little man that made Aru look tall. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh... I see. You bullied the wrong short person. Arsé-kun: Kay: Actually, no! I got there with Grif by the end. Arsé-kun: Kay: May or may not have a new perspective on the concept of death as a whole, but that's still not outweirding the gigantic mind control slug. Sheepy: Grif: I watched a man smash his fist into the angel's face. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh yeah, and the man probably broke his hand. Sheepy: Grif: He was... very manly. Very cool... Arsé-kun: Kay: That got me a new insight, but I ain't sharing it with you around. Sheepy: Grif: I hope I can be that cool one day. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're not? Arsé-kun: *in the far bg, Merlin is stalking Fou and taking pictures to post to twidder. he's not listening to all this.* Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... it's not very cool to do things just because it's your job. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, to have the confidence to wear no shirt, even into a fight... Very cool. Arsé-kun: Kay: Starting to notice a trend here.. First Lot and Lance, now the catboy. Sheepy: Grif: They're all incredibly cool... Sheepy: Bedi:...catboy??? Sheepy: Grif: Oh, the angel he punched was a little lion, wasn't he? Arsé-kun: Kay: I dunno, he had leopard print on. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... So I gotta get ripped. ... ... Not happening. Sheepy: Grif: Leopard print... How many leopards did he fight to get that? Sheepy: Grif: They just shed their fur like a sheep, don't they? So maybe he just fought the same one many times. Sheepy: Bedi: Nothing about this feels right... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Grif, go ask Merlin where leopard print clothes come from. I'm sure he'll be glad to stop what he's doing. Sheepy: Grif: Merlin, Merlin. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...? What? I'm busy. Sheepy: Grif: Where do leopard print clothes come from? Sheepy: Bedi: He, um... was being sarcastic, I think! Arsé-kun: Kay: It's fine, gives us a moment. Arsé-kun: *Merlin sighs and explains- to the best of his ability- where fake leopard print comes from* Sheepy: Grif:?! Sheepy: Grif: A factory... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Should we take this elsewhere? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, I think so. Arsé-kun: Kay: Aight. Sheepy: Grif: Merlin, let's rescue the leopards from the factory! Arsé-kun: *Kay opts to not help Merlin here.* Sheepy: Bedi: I'll follow you. Arsé-kun: *Kay goes into Bedi's room for some goddamn privacy in this house* Sheepy: *Bedi follows him* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... You got into a relationship, how flirt man Sheepy: Bedi: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: How do I approach a man with romantic intent? If I don't, I'm gonna just keep getting jealous. Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize for disappointing you, but... Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin did all of the work. I was oblivious to all of it. I am still oblivious to most of his flirting. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Right, you've never done a day of work on that in your life. Sheepy: Bedi: Ahaha... Well, I have no skill in that department. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't know till you try. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes... I guess the only ideas I have are being clear with what you're asking and not doing anything too flashy. Arsé-kun: Kay: And this is Grif, so I gotta take that more seriously. Sheepy: Bedi: If it helps any... I think you have time. Sheepy: Bedi: I think you're probably unique in terms of being attracted to him. Arsé-kun: Kay: I hate the way that sounds, but you're right. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's clear that being stupid and doing stupid things for his attention is only kind of working. And I can't get flowers because he'll eat them! Sheepy: Bedi: Good luck! You'll need it. Sheepy: Bedi: Gifts he'd like... Sheepy: Bedi: He likes rocks, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, but that wouldn't get any messages across. Sheepy: Bedi: True... Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, I could just ask him. Sheepy: Bedi: You could! Sheepy: Bedi: There's nothing to lose, right? If he says no, he says no. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Uh. Yeah. Of course. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Sheepy: Bedi: Well, I'm rooting for you! Arsé-kun: Kay: Thanks, bud. *he nods* I'll do my best. Sheepy: Bedi: Of course! Arsé-kun: Kay: Now lets make sure Grif didn't drag Merlin out. Sheepy: *Bedi exits into the main room* Arsé-kun: *Kay follows him out* Sheepy: *Grif is dragging Merlin outthe door.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, please! Not now!! Sheepy: Grif: We need to! Arsé-kun: Merlin: There's no leopards, so what's the point?! Sheepy: Grif: They have to be getting the leopard fur somewhere! Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's not real! It's patterned fabric, I told you this..!! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Should we help him? Sheepy: Bedi: It's too late now. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bedi?! Sheepy: Bedi: I'll miss you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bedi?!? Sheepy: Bedi: But I can't stop him. Sheepy: Grif: There must be a reference leopard! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm not doing this at night..! No way! Sheepy: Grif: I see. Arsé-kun: *Kay just salutes and presses X to pay respects* Sheepy: Grif: When does it stop being night... Sheepy: Grif:... 5 am. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're not waking me at 5 am on a Saturday either!!!! Sheepy: Grif: We have to! Sheepy: Grif: For the leopards! Sheepy: Bedi: Grif, do you know what a factory is? Sheepy: Grif: No, but it doesn't matter! Arsé-kun: Kay: There probably isn't any leopards, but go ham. Have fun! Don't let the shitwizard get hurt cuz Bedi WILL annihilate you! Sheepy: Bedi:...Okay, good luck finding one, then! Sheepy: Grif: I will protect Merlin. Okay, we're going now. Arsé-kun: *Merlin recognizes his thrown-under-the-bus status, and reluctantly accepts his new role as party mage. He does not look happy about it.* Sheepy: Bedi: I'll make it up to you later, okay? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You owe me one, babe! *fingergun* Arsé-kun: *Yog gives Grif a quest notif. He understands the current situation.* Sheepy: Grif: *he drags Merlin out the door.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Is that how it looks when I get dragged out? Sheepy: Bedi: Slightly less bad, but yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: I need to work on that. But okay, we both look like we're on the same page, huh? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, what did you want to make? Arsé-kun: Kay: Apple pie feels too easy, but I know it's a solid hit. Sheepy: Bedi: He loves apples. It can work with ice cream, too, and he loves ice cream... Arsé-kun: Kay: But there's no way we got enough apples for something big. Sheepy: Bedi: Too bad. Arsé-kun: Kay: Hmmm. Well, we got time to think of something. Sheepy: Bedi: Right... And we can ask the group chat, too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Lost my phone. YOU can ask. Sheepy: Bedi: Right, I'll ask then. Sheepy: Bedi: *he pulls out his phone* Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] What should Kay and I bake? As a gift? Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] Recipient likes apples and ice cream. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] gee, wonder who it is lol Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] you can make something for me too. as a treat Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] Me too! I want payment for my services under the bus! Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] Okay, Merlin. What do yoi want? Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] oh my name is lucan but I'd like your finest concoction thank you for asking Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] First I never wanna see grif eat a durian again, and also idk make lucan something and give me the bowl of whatevers left lmao Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] You don't have to eat leftovers. Arsé-kun: Lot: [chat] Given what we know of them, I doubt griflet would care all that much. You could just put apple slices on ice cream and he'd probably be happy. Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] Is that meaningful? Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] Maybe if we make them into cute shapes? Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] as Arsé-kun: Lot: [chat] Lucan is the culinary student here, and his input is clearly more valuable. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] as much as I want to believe he'd see a meaning in this it's more likely he'd just eat it without thinking about its shape Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] you coild feed him food from the trash and he'd eat it lol he's like the family dog who bites hou for no reason Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] btw I didn't see grif eat the durian skin but I heard his voice ao I really just barely dodged that bullet Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] should i just ask him directly since hes out here and yall arent Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] unless you've left I'm here lol Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] Wouldn't that ruin the surprisr? Arsé-kun: Kay: You think he'd think about it that hard? Sheepy: Bedi:...No, Grif and thinking don't really go together. Arsé-kun: Kay: Except when he does. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes... true. Arsé-kun: Kay: But okay, get back on topic. Sheepy: Bedi: It's difficult to really come up with anything... heepy: Lucan: [chat] why not an apple cake or something? btw if you need durians just ask that obnoxious sparkly idol and if he decides you're wotyhy og his durians you might het onr Arsé-kun: Kay: Those exist?? Sheepy: Bedi: Apparently... Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, it seems simple enough. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] he claims yhey're souvenirs from his vacation. imagine buying durians as a souvenir Arsé-kun: Lance: [chat] imagine going on vacation Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] if we pull enough money together one or two of us could go on vacation Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] where though?! Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] ... I wonder where he goes on vacation Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] maybe he buys them at the store and calls them souvenirs just to mrss eitb peoplr Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] that's the level of shitpost I aspire to ngl Sheepy: Lucan: [chat]... he does always have them on hand... Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] maube his vacation is in the fruit aisle of the nearest supermarket LOL Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] shuzo's isle vacation. sorry, did I say isle? I meant aisle lololol Arsé-kun: *printer noises* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, you're printing it out! Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell yeah I am! Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] anyway How long to you guys need? This affects what I do next Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] An hour or so...? Maybe two at most? Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] Aight! I got an idea then. I'm gonna needta jump in the washing machine as soon as I'm done though looooool Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] spin me right round baby right round ~merlin in the washing machine Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] I WAS GONNA SAY THAT Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] That scares me. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] I'm a mind reader...... Arsé-kun: *Kay is gathering supplies, preheating the oven, banning Fou from the oven* Sheepy: *Bedi joins Kay to help!* Arsé-kun: Kay: We got most of this, but do we have a greek yogie sitting around? Do any of us buy those? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't. Arsé-kun: Kay: I absolutely don't. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... And Merlin doesn't. Sheepy: Bedi: I don't think Grif buys things. Arsé-kun: Kay: So why do we have this? *he holds up a greek yogurt carton. it sure is there* Arsé-kun: *Fou investigates it* Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah she does, but I don't know if it's hers. Arsé-kun: Fou: Raow! *spit, spit* Fao! Sheepy: Bedi: ...? This is how he reacted to Yog. Sheepy: Bedi: So maybe Yog is making up for the ice cream he ate by giving us this yogurt. Sheepy: Bedi:...Is it safe for human consumption? I guess it doesn't matter with Grif. He'll eat it anyway... Arsé-kun: Kay: It's his dad, so it's probably fine... Sheepy: Bedi: I guess so. Sheepy: Bedi: Let's use it! Arsé-kun: Kay: We're gonna be out of caster sugar after this, but I think we're clear for everything else. Arsé-kun: Kay: Let's get this shit over with. Sheepy: Bedi: Right! Arsé-kun: *We skip to about an hour later. The cake is done, the last dishes are being washed,* Sheepy: *Grif enters!* Arsé-kun: Kay: Welcome back, moron, you bitch. Did you figure out fake leopard fur ain't made of leopard? Sheepy: Grif: The leopard I met told me as much, so I should believe him. Yes. Sheepy: Grif: We looked for a slug. We didn't find one. Sheepy: Grif: The leopard, however... so cool... ... Perhaps, to be cool, the answer is to combine kindness with muscles. Arsé-kun: Kay: What is it with you and muscles? Sheepy: Grif: It's something one must choose to strive for in order to have. Sheepy: Grif: Basically... it's a symbol of devotion to a goal. Arsé-kun: Kay: Huh. That's surprisingly insightful. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, uh. Um. *he faulters* Sheepy: Grif: I ate an artichoke fruit today. It was painful. Arsé-kun: Kay: Did you eat the skin again? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I didn't want to waste it. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're not supposed to eat that! You moron! Sheepy: Grif: Hm? But salad man gave it to me. He already offered me his salad only to be rejected. I couldn't reject his kindness a second time. Arsé-kun: Kay: The skin! You don't eat the skin of it! Sheepy: Grif: ....Hm...hmmm... Arsé-kun: Kay: I know something you CAN eat all of, but you'll have to wait! Sheepy: Grif: Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes, really. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing... a skinless food... Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, no, but. Sheepy: Grif: Edible skin... Sheepy: Grif: Recently I discovered something horrible. Sheepy: Grif: I accidentally bent the top of a banana recently. It turns out, the yellow part is a covering that is meant to be removed. Sheepy: Grif: However, are bananas better with or without the shell...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Without. A hundred percent. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: I'll try it like that next time. Sheepy: Grif: I am looking forward to eating this food. Arsé-kun: Kay: I recommend it. You can eat bananas with ice cream and no one can stop you. Sheepy: Grif: Bananas... with ice cream... Arsé-kun: Kay: Ice cream sundae. I'm iffy on it, honestly, but it's up your alley. Man that'd been so much easier. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: Nevermind! Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Alright. Arsé-kun: *Kay finishes up with the dishes* Sheepy: Grif: You did it. Arsé-kun: Kay: I cleaned them. Sheepy: Grif: Now it's everyone's collective duty to dirty them again. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not yet. Arsé-kun: Kay: In a few minutes. Sheepy: Grif: So soon? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Actually, it doesn't matter. It's up to you to use dishes. Arsé-kun: Kay: But okay! Anyway! Enough stalling for time! Sheepy: Grif: Uh, okay. Arsé-kun: *Kay opens the microwave and retrieves the cake that was hidden there. This gets placed in front of Griflet on the kitchen island. There's a blank card on it! He looks nervous.* Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I know you're gonna eat that card. At least look in it first. Sheepy: Grif: *He takes the card and opens it* Arsé-kun: *It's not English! It's runes!!* Arsé-kun: *Translated runes: DATE ME, MORON. ~Kay.* Sheepy: Grif: ....?! Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Is my handwriting bad? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... uh... *That's an unusual red tint to his face! He appears flustered...* Arsé-kun: *and Kay starts going red in turn. Now he's embarrassed too!* Sheepy: *... In a panic, he eats the card!* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... ...... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... There it is. Sheepy: Grif: It's good!!! Thank you!!!! Arsé-kun: Kay: You stupid idiot! You stupid, idiotic, hot dumbass! At least eat the goddamn cake before I shove your face into it! Sheepy: Grif:?! Arsé-kun: Kay: What, did you think we let you drag out Merlin without reason? No! We baked while you were gone! Bedi helped! Sheepy: Grif: I see... So the leopards were a lie all along... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Today please! Sheepy: Grif: Well...! Sheepy: Grif: Are you sure? Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Bitch, I literally only tolerated you at first because you were goddamn hot. Yes, I'm sure. Sheepy: Grif: Uh, uh... Arsé-kun: Kay: And after all the dumb stupid shit I did, purely for you? Yes, I am absolutely goddamn sure. Sheepy: Grif: Usually I'm supposed to have some sort of cool, memorable response... right? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Honestly, I kinda expected you to ignore me in favor of the cake. Sheepy: Grif: It smells good... Arsé-kun: Kay: It's apple cake, so you damn well know it's for you! Sheepy: Grif: I see. You put so much work into it... Sheepy: Grif: I need to work hard in return. Arsé-kun: Kay: Like you don't already? Sheepy: Grif: Eh... Sheepy: Grif: If I say yes, you won't regret it, will you? Arsé-kun: Kay: My only regrets so far are losing my phone and... Y'know, the time you came home gross. Sheepy: Grif:...Okay, then yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: !!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell yeah! Finally, I am free to say things! I can call you a dumb hot idiot now! Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: I feel normal temperature. Arsé-kun: Kay: Attractive, I mean hot as in attractive. Sheepy: Grif: It's the power of high Charm. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's the power of having good looks despite being a bag of dumb rocks. Sheepy: Grif:....... Sheepy: Grif:...........*his attention has slowly turned back to the cake...* Arsé-kun: *Kay proceeds to place a duplicate card on it. He was ready* Sheepy: Grif:...It looks tasty. Arsé-kun: Kay: It better be..! We worked hard on this! Sheepy: Grif:...! For me...? Arsé-kun: Kay: For you. Sheepy: Grif:...! Arsé-kun: Kay: I considered adding some ice cream on top, but orb dad ate it all. Jerk. Arsé-kun: Kay: We noticed. Sheepy: Grif: I'd like to try some. Arsé-kun: Kay: Go ahead. That's what I'm still standing here for..! Sheepy: *Grif tries some!* Arsé-kun: *Kay stares expectantly* Sheepy: Grif:...It's good. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... *PHEW!* Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're welcome. Now can *he whips around to face the doorway* You fuckers stop eavesdropping?? Moral support's great but I ain't trusting a single one of yous! Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies. I was just thinking about the cake... Arsé-kun: *Merlin is furiously texting* Sheepy: *Il waves from the windowsill.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I did not want to interrupt, good sirs. However, I see that relationship proposals are approximately the same as I knew them. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Even the ghost was watching. Arsé-kun: Kay: And who the hell let you in?! *at Il* Sheepy: Il: To see love with my own two eyes...! Incredible! Arsé-kun: Kay: You wanna see more? Bedi and Merlin are already a couple, so you should ask them stuff! Sheepy: Il:?! Sheepy: *Il looks expectantly at Merlin* Sheepy: Il: So many questions I want to ask... Sheepy: Grif:...Why is he here? Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he looks up from texting* I've got no idea! Sheepy: Bedi: He was looming outside the window and I was concerned he was going to fall. Sheepy: Bedi: The fact that he was peering in through a non-ground window did not occur to me until I let him in. How frightening... Arsé-kun: *Fou sniffs Il* Sheepy: Il: Good evening, mascot character. Sheepy: Grif: Surprisingly, the only one not eavesdropping is the one you'd expect the most. Arsé-kun: Kay: That is extremely ominous and not at all questionable. Arsé-kun: *Fou sits down next to Il. Il has been judged acceptable* Sheepy: Grif: I meant Aru. Sheepy: *Il pets Fou.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh. I thought you meant your parents. Sheepy: Grif: No, I'm sure Dad is eavesdropping. Arsé-kun: Kay: ....... Where the fuck is my sister? Sheepy: Il: I saw her complaining at the Angel of Death outside. Something about standing her up, and it being too late to hang out now. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... So you're telling me. The same midget angel I sassed earlier- That knew the fox and leopard prior- is also friends with my sister? Sheepy: Il: They are around the same age, I think, so it is no surprise. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... So anything else anyone wants to tell me before I sit down? Sheepy: Bedi: I can't come up with anything. Sheepy: Il: Is being a tsundere usually successful? Sheepy: Grif: What, do you want information related to death? Sheepy: Grif: Lobo is a hellhound. He's probably owned by one of the two reapers we saw today. Presumably, there's so much death on campus that it's easiest just to station Lobo here. Arsé-kun: Kay: ....... So I hate all of that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I thought it was because of the ghosts! Sheepy: Grif: Maybe. I wouldn't know. Sheepy: Grif: If anyone would, it'd be the two reapers we saw tonight. Arsé-kun: Kay: So if my sister is with the little shitty angel, can someone ask through her about it? I still got no phone. Sheepy: Grif: I don't have her number. Sheepy: Il: She is outside with the him right now. You can join them. Arsé-kun: Kay: I ain't going out a third time. Sheepy: Il: Well, that is fine. Arsé-kun: *Arthur is markedly not volunteering his services* Sheepy: Grif: If you're desperate to find out, the buff man said he'd treat him to something at lunch tomorrow. Meaning, if you can find the buff man, you can find him. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then I gotta go hunting on a Saturday... Ah, fine. Sheepy: Grif: It could be a good learning experience about death. Arsé-kun: Kay: I think it's too early in my lifespan to even consider that. Sheepy: Grif: Well, alright. Arsé-kun: Merlin: People die when they are killed. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Il: I can confirm a few things, at least. Arsé-kun: Kay: But will you. Sheepy: Il: Lobo is not owned by the angel outside. It is not common practice for angels of death to use hellhounds in their work. He is one of the few remaining angels who have not fell, so I cannot see him having an affinity with them... Sheepy: Il: Lobo is banned from the hospital, but he seems attracted to it anyway. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Probably because people die in hospitals. Sheepy: Il: Yes, but I have never seen him reap a soul from the hospital... Arsé-kun: Kay: But who's the fuck with the white car that drove him around? The death angel, I mean. Sheepy: Il: White car? Sheepy: Il: Without another angel to teach him, a reaper may have felt bad for him and taken him under their wing. Sheepy: Il: In the equivalent of human ages, he looked to be 16 or 17. He would need this, because it was nowhere near time for him to take up the role. Arsé-kun: Kay: So watch out for the scary-feeling guy, gotcha. Sheepy: Il: Yes. Sheepy: Il: The other guy... the reaper probably has experience. Sheepy: Il: The angel is dangerous mostly due to lack of experience. However, in the event he were to do something unfavorable like he did tonight, as long as he is following his duties, well... I cannot do anything about him. Sheepy: Il: Meanwhile, the reaper... I could strike out, but is it right? Arsé-kun: Kay: Hmmm. Depends on what he's doing. Sheepy: Il: If he is reaping the soul of someone you care for, even if it is his job, you will never consider it right. The list will not matter anymore in this situation. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Yeah, that's true. Sheepy: Il: That is what caused the events tonight. Arsé-kun: Kay: But he was also still alive. I didn't even know the guy. Sheepy: Il: It was uncomfortable to watch. Especially when he offered us an early out. Sheepy: Il: Anyway, I feel as though people survive injuries they are not supposed to in the hospital. I have, on occasion, heard rumors that those unfortunate enough to wander off the path and get attacked will be visited during the night by a "short edgy man". Manipulating him can trick him into leaving, thus allowing you to survive another day. Sheepy: Il: I suppose we know who that is now... Arsé-kun: Kay: People survive dumb shit all the time. Exhibit A: me. Sheepy: Il: People survive incredible injuries all the time in otome games! Sheepy: Il: It is difficult to explain... Sheepy: Il: I am not able to fully grasp the resistance of a human. I am regularly being lectured because I apparently have caused great damage and nearly ended lives. Sheepy: Il: It is difficult to imagine them surviving monsters off of the path when they cannot survive me easily. Arsé-kun: Kay: I wanna say they vary, so it checks out. Sheepy: Il: Vary... Sheepy: *The next day...* Arsé-kun: -Saturday, October 30th- Arsé-kun: *Wilbur was TRYING to read, but there are so many noisy people here. It's bad enough Grif and his roommate are here, but the wizards are here too. Not to mention two of the musicians. Being Wilbur is suffering* Sheepy: Shuu: What, you want to know about Crow? What's there to tell? It's not like he hides anything. Everything there is to know about him, he flaunts. Arsé-kun: Kay: I see. That makes things a bit easier. Sheepy: Shuu: Meanwhile... it's much more profitable to be secretive ⭐️ Sheepy: Shuu: 16, hedgehog, singer and guitarist for SpinachCrumbleZ, an up and coming band that strives to be at the top. Claims to be a fallen angel. Likes milk. There's basic info about him ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Rom: Doesn't have a drivers license. But can you at least get our band name right? Sheepy: Shuu: Of course I can. Arsé-kun: *Rom just sighs* Arsé-kun: Rom: ... Crow is like every other edgy teenager when he's not on the payroll. You shouldn't have to worry about him. Sheepy: Shuu: And like most teenagers, he needs reassurance to make him feel better about himself, and he hides that behind constant self compliments. Complimenting him makes him easier to manipulate ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Rom: Please don't do that. Sheepy: Shuu: Hehehe. Sheepy: Shuu: It's better than insulting him. Arsé-kun: Rom: That's true, but not by much... *his ears flick up* Oh, he's here. Sheepy: Crow: A cri-- Sheepy: Shuu: If you do that all the time, people will grow bored of it ⭐️ You need to put more "woosh" and "kaboom" into it, spice it up ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Do neither of those! Shut up and sit down! Sheepy: Crow: Ugh, you're a total wet blanket! You're like a cow who's not fully awake yet! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Ouch. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, yeah! Eat that! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: You're like a rooster that screams at every time except dawn. Sheepy: Crow: Oof...! Sheepy: Crow: Well, my voice is great, so everyone might as well hear it! Sheepy: Shuu: But if people grow bored of it, you'll have nothing. Sheepy: Crow:?!?!?!?! Arsé-kun: Rom: You stop that. Sheepy: Crow: Rom, is that a thing?! Sheepy: Crow: Am I gonna... ... ... have to work on imitations?! Sheepy: Crow: I can't let my voice get old and boring! Arsé-kun: Rom: He's teasing you. Don't take it seriously. Sheepy: Crow: Maybe that's why Aru chewed me out last night? Something about standing her up? Maybe she wants stand-up comedy? rsé-kun: Rom: That's when you don't show up to a planned outting. Which you apparently did. Sheepy: Crow: Well, I didn't realize killing Shuu would take so long. Sheepy: Shuu: You know me, I like being difficult ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Rom: You can try all you want, but I don't think it's happening, Crow. Sheepy: Crow: What a pain...! Sheepy: Crow: Go peacefully so I don't have to deal with you! Sheepy: Shuu:...That's what I mean about him being open and easy to figure out. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Yeah, that's easy enough. I'm pretty sure Aru can deal with it fine. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Were you talking about me when I was gone? ... Some of my cattle, right?! Ehehehe, I just got a new pen for autographs too! Sheepy: Grif: The last I checked, I am not a bovine... Arsé-kun: Kay: Neither is any of my family. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: You're all cattle in my eyes! Ehehehe! Except Rom!! Sheepy: Shuu: Translator note: Cattle means fans ⭐️ I just call them my princesses, or my precious dream travelers... ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Kay: You can't just call them fans like normal people? Sheepy: Crow: Normal people? My cattle love the name! Sheepy: Shuu: Using cheesy nicknames like "princess" comes with the job. Sheepy: Shuu:...Oops, forget you heard that, hehe ⭐️ Sheepy: Shuu: Oh, you helped me last night, didn't you? Sheepy: Shuu: Okay... just this once, I'll give you a Sparkling ⭐️ Tropical ⭐️ Dream Souvenir, as a symbol of my thanks. Sheepy: *Shuu pulls out a durian and gives it to Kay.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... This came from the shitmart, didn't it. Sheepy: Shuu: *His features darken some and a smug grin spreads across his face. There goes his cute dreamy prince act* You're absolutely no fun, are you? You can't play along even a little? Sheepy: Grif: I ate one of those last night. A blond gave it to me. Do you know him? Sheepy: Shuu: *His grin fades, leaving only a baffled stare at Grif* Arsé-kun: Kay: He's kind of stupid. Sheepy: Shuu: Kind of? Arsé-kun: *Kay looks offended on Grif's behalf* Sheepy: Shuu: What's with buff guys, anyway? Do they have dumbbells for brains? Constantly thinkng about not missing leg day? Arsé-kun: Rom: Better than being undernourished at all times. Arsé-kun: Kay: But the short angel doesn't fit in the dumbbells for brains category. Sheepy: Crow: I'm NOT short! Arsé-kun: *Kay stands up and looks down at Crow* Arsé-kun: Kay: Almost everyone is short to me. Shut your yap. Sheepy: Shuu: Undernourished... do you really consider the abominations you construct sustenance?? Arsé-kun: Rom: Just because my cooking is limited doesn't mean you shouldn't eat at all Sheepy: Shuu: I eat a limited diet for my job. Arsé-kun: Rom: Of absolutely nothing. Sheepy: Shuu: Well, everything on the diet tastes terrible. Arsé-kun: Rom: Get a new one. Or a new manager. Sheepy: Shuu: When I'm at the top, I won't have to worry about it anymore. Sheepy: Crow: I drink milk every single day 'cuz I was told by my parents that it'd make me grow up tall! Arsé-kun: Kay: How'd... How'd that go for you? Sheepy: Crow: Bad!! Sheepy: Crow: But if my skeleton ever engaged in fisticuffs with another skeleton, it'd totally win with a single crimson fist! Sheepy: *Shuu stops bickering with Rom to stare at Crow. What?* Sheepy: Grif: I understand now... I must train even my skeleton to kill my enemies, in the event it gets separated from me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, you didn't understand shit, you just agreed with something stupid. Sheepy: Grif: It sounds reasonable to me. Sheepy: Crow: It's the power of milk! Drink milk every day for stronger bones! Sheepy: Crow: By the way, some of the milk you buy at stores is supplied by my cows! Sheepy: Shuu:...So you've got a sales pitch for milk so you can sell more milk. Sheepy: Crow: Some of the vegetables you buy at the store are provided by me, too! So eat your vegetables! Sheepy: Crow: I've even been considering putting out a cookbook, but it's really difficult coming up with a cool name. Arsé-kun: Rom: Can't believe you feed into capitalism, Shuu. You and your durians. Sheepy: Shuu: Nobody expects the durian. Nobody expects someone to take a bite out of the skin of the durian, either. Sheepy: Crow: If it sells well, I'll be able to contribute more to ShinganCrimsonZ.... Reaping souls doesn't really pay... Sheepy: Crow: Maybe I should get a part time job? But reaping souls, farming, writing songs, and playing with a band takes up so much time as it is. Sheepy: Shuu: I do wonder one thing. What does a durian taste like? Arsé-kun: Kay: *still holding that durian* I mean, we could find out right now. Sheepy: Shuu: Sure, we could. But will we? Only you can decide. Sheepy: Grif: Why would you buy a bunch of them and never eat them? Sheepy: Shuu: It's funny giving them to people unprompted. Sheepy: Shuu:... However. I regret to inform you of one thing. Sheepy: Shuu: ...You seriously think I'm giving out fruits that can sell for upwards $200 and smell like trash? Arsé-kun: Kay: Honestly, I don't really care enough either way. Arsé-kun: *yes he does* Sheepy: Shuu: I just picked them up at the local store because I thought they were funny. Who knows what they are. Sheepy: Shuu: Rom, Rom, let's go to the store sometime ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Rom: only if you eat beforehand. Sheepy: Shuu: Okay, just for you ⭐️ Sheepy: Shuu: ...Really, because for whatever reason it's such a big deal to you. What a pain. Sheepy: Shuu: If it was up to me, I wouldn't waste my time on it. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day? Mayhe if you actually sleep at night, but if you spend all night working, it's entirely forgettable. Sheepy: Shuu: And you won't make it to the top without working overtime. Sheepy: Crow: Sometimes, Yaiba works at the store! Maybe if you go then, he'll get some perks! That's how it works, isn't it? I go then to keep him company but never buy anything. Sheepy: Shuu: All of the three stooges are frustrating to deal with, and you wanna make me deal with two of you at the same time, Moe? Sheepy: Crow: My name is CROW! C-R-O-...W!!! Burn it into your memory, because that's gonna be the name at the top along with my buddies! Sheepy: Crow: By the way, Rom, what's a stooge? It's gotta be a cool guy if I'm one, huh? And Yaiba is the second one... Yup, so you must be the third stooge! Arsé-kun: Rom: All of that was wrong. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: If it's something cool, it can't be Wimpion. He's the lamest guy I know. Arsé-kun: Rom: Found the third stooge, then. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah? Who is it? Sheepy: Crow: You really wanna throw away your stooge title so Wimpion can have something? Don't worry! You'll still be the coolest guy I know! Sheepy: Crow: Other than me, of course! Arsé-kun: Rom: .... ... Why do you think Shuu is complimenting you? Sheepy: Shuu: Oh, I just really want to be nice today. Make sure to tell everyone you're a stooge, okay? I'm sure they'll agree with you. Just don't tell anyone I told you that, or they might get jealous and want me to call them that, too. Sheepy: Crow: See! He just said he is. Maybe he's finally waking up to how cool I am! Arsé-kun: *Rom sighs* Sheepy: Shuu: What? Your fist is broken so I'm going to have as much fun as I can before it heals. Sheepy: Shuu: Not that you could land a shot on me if you tried ⭐️ Arsé-kun: *Rom socks Shuu with his other fist* Sheepy: Shuu: Oof! Arsé-kun: Rom: I didn't even try. You're getting lazy. Sheepy: Shuu: Lazy... Sheepy: Shuu: I can't be getting soft... Arsé-kun: Rom: How else would Crow be able to catch you? Sheepy: Shuu: That really is concerning... Sheepy: Shuu: And with this obnoxious talking style bleeding into everyday conversation, I have to wonder how much this role is affecting me. Sheepy: Shuu: I really need to up my game ⭐️ ... ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ I did it again. Arsé-kun: Rom: Finally. Freedom from your sailor mouth. Sheepy: Shuu: Can't curse if you're supposed to be a dreamy prince! Arsé-kun: Rom: Lady sailors probably like it. Sheepy: Shuu: Don't disappoint me. Arsé-kun: Rom: Nope. So I hope you're ready to start getting up early again. Sheepy: Shuu: What a pain. I work late nights, and now I have to get up early, too? Sheepy: Shuu: But if waking up early will make me sharper, it's worth it. Arsé-kun: Rom: Who said you were working late? Not on this schedule. Sheepy: Shuu: Oh? You're going to tell my boss that I have a different schedule now? How brave of you. Arsé-kun: Rom: Sure, why not? What's he gonna do? Cry on me? Sheepy: Shuu: He'd cry on you. And then what would you do? Arsé-kun: Rom: Suffer with the consequences of my actions but know he can't stop me. Sheepy: Shuu: I suppose at the end of the day, he's just a guy who can't keep straight which of his eyes is eyepatched. Sheepy: Shuu: But alright, I'll work with you on it. Taking a break to work on myself rather than pleasing people would be a good breather. I'll just tell the twins that it's a Dream ⭐️ Galaxy Secret Sparkling Collab ⭐️ or something. Sheepy: Shuu: That way, they shouldn't worry. Sheepy: Crow: What? The sparkly creep is staying with us for a while? Maaaan... this is the worst... Sheepy: Crow:Well, don't hold us back, Loser! Loser.... Shuu-ser... Nah... Bo ⭐️ zo... Nah, that doesn't work either... Arsé-kun: Rom: Why can you also do that? Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: Shoot, shoot! It's catching, isn't it?! Sheepy: Crow: Rom, Rom...! You gotta do it - you gotta save me from it! Arsé-kun: Rom: I never figured it out. Good luck, Crow. Sheepy: Shuu: Maybe I'll start with agility. If I follow your workouts too closely, I'll get all beefy. Arsé-kun: Rom: That implies you can get beefy. Sheepy: Shuu: You don't think I can? Arsé-kun: Rom: Not like this! *he pats his arm. muscle* Sheepy: Shuu: I think I could! I just don't want to. Sheepy: Shuu: I don't want to steal your look. Sheepy: Shuu: But just know that I can. Sheepy: *...Shuu looks very pleased with himself. His smug aura is radiating.* Arsé-kun: Rom: ... I can't tell if you're being serious. Sheepy: Shuu: I am. Sheepy: Shuu: It's not too difficult, is it? It just takes years of devotion. Sheepy: Shuu: I'm not going to do it Sheepy: Shuu: But it doesn't stop me from following you some. Sheepy: Shuu: But at the same time, if I get muscly, it'll ruin my image as a cute, sparkling prince. Sheepy: Crow: That's what you're supposed to be? Arsé-kun: Rom: It won't hurt to have a bit of meat on there! Sheepy: Shuu: A prince who's secretly buff... Sheepy: Crow: I thought you were supposed to be one of those bugs. Sheepy: Crow: Y'know! The kind with the human faces! Arsé-kun: Kay: *from a table away* the WHAT Sheepy: Crow: Eh, y'know...! Sheepy: Crow: They're real, uh...! Sheepy: Crow: You've totally heard of this one before! Drinkerhell! She's little and sparkly. Sheepy: Crow: She's friends with this guy who kidnaps children and feeds them to trees. Sheepy: Crow: And, eh... there's this guy who's missing a hand and because he won't fit in a tree, this guy feeds him to an alligator instead. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Tinkerbell, you mean? The lil green bitch? Sheepy: Grif: I have heard of this. Crinkletell. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, yeah! Tinkerbell! Sheepy: Crow: But now that I think of it, the tights are more like the kidnapper's outfit than the bug lady's outfit. Sheepy: Crow: His name was... what was it... Robin Hood! Sheepy: Shuu: I was feeling motivated, but listening to you made me lose that. Arsé-kun: Kay: *deadpan* It's peter pan. Sheepy: Crow: Peter Pan? Arsé-kun: Kay: robin hood's a thief that steals from the rich, gives to the poor. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow:.... Sheepy: Crow:...Hey, but once he steals from the rich and gives to the poor, the poor become rich and the rich become poor. Arsé-kun: Kay: You think the bastard gave it all to one person? Sheepy: Crow: So once he's all done stealing, he's gotta redistribute the wealth all over again. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, but you understand that just fine! Sheepy: Shuu:...Robin hood.... Peter Pan... Tinkerbell... Sheepy: Shuu:...I need a new look. Sheepy: Shuu: If I build some muscle, maybe I might look less like those three... Rom, Rom, let's work out together when your hand is healed. I don't want to look like Peter Pan. Arsé-kun: Rom: I don't like the idea of you looking like Peter Pan. It'd make you more of a creep. Sheepy: Shuu: Oh? I'm a creep? Arsé-kun: Rom: If you looked like him you would. Sheepy: Shuu: So I don't look like him! Arsé-kun: Rom: You're not green Sheepy: Shuu: Eh... that's all... Sheepy: Shuu: Well, I really hope your hand is healed soon, then, so we can get started. Arsé-kun: *Raph is peering in through the big front window, staring at Crow primarily* Arsé-kun: Rom: So eventually. You better not forget. Sheepy: Crow:...Hey, hey! One of my cattle spotted us! Sheepy: Shuu: Don't worry. I won't forget. Sheepy: Crow: Of course I'm the focus! The singer usually is! Eheheh! Sheepy: *...Despite his words, Crow's tail is wagging excitedly. He's very happy!* Sheepy: Shuu: That's one of the doctors at the hospital. Maybe he found that people were getting headaches and wanted to locate the source. Arsé-kun: Rom: That, or he's here to give you a stern talking to. Sheepy: Shuu: Why me? Sheepy: Shuu: He looks focused on Crow. Sheepy: Crow: I bet he wants an autograph! Arsé-kun: *Raph looks around briefly, gives Crow a shush gesture, lowers one side of his coat... And pops out an angel wing! Wink, fingergun, wing put away* Sheepy: Crow: E...eh...? Arsé-kun: Rom: ...? Sheepy: Crow:...............?! Eeehhhh?! *He unthinkingly spreads out his wings in response! ... And smacks Rom with them, as if his tail repeatedly smacking Rom wasn't enough* Arsé-kun: Rom: oh ok Sheepy: Crow: I...I...! *whimper, sob. his speech has become somewhat incoherent from sobs* I... I thought...! Sheepy: Shuu: You were told to be quiet, and you're doing everything you can to get people to pay attention... Arsé-kun: Rom: Oh, be nice. Sheepy: Shuu: Be nice? How'll we explain it? Arsé-kun: Rom: They can mind their own business. Issue solved. Sheepy: Shuu: Eh... Sheepy: Crow: Everyone was all gone...! Why'd they just leave me...? Why would they just show up out of the blue and act like nothing is wrong...? Arsé-kun: Raph: You make it sound like we did this on purpose..! *he's leaning on the booth from the next one over like kids do in fancy restaurants when they're waiting for their grilled cheese and fries* Sheepy: Crow: Y-you guys all just disappeared! It's not fair...! Arsé-kun: Raph: It wasn't! A few lucky ones got left, the rest of us? We got real messed up, bud. No way anyone would willingly do that en masse. Sheepy: Crow:....... Sheepy: Crow: I don't get it...! Sheepy: Crow: Messed up? Lucky ones? Arsé-kun: Raph: I'll keep this short since this is a public domain. Falling machine broke, kicked out nearly everybody. ... Not everyone made it down. Sheepy: Crow: I woke up and Dad... Uncle... everyone, they were all gone...! How is th-that lucky?! Maybe for everyone else, 'cuz they finally got rid of me! Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Have you ever caught fire before? Sheepy: Crow: No! What does that have to do with anything...?! Arsé-kun: Raph: ............ Arsé-kun: Raph: .................. You really have no idea. Fascinating. Sheepy: Crow: I woke up to everyone gone! Why would I know...?! Arsé-kun: *Merlin is very not-subtly eavesdropping* Sheepy: Crow: And, and...! Dad...! Uncle! Some didn't survive?! I'd already accepted they're gone...! I'd already...! Sheepy: Crow:....Now...now you're telling me they're probably... Arsé-kun: Raph: ....... We're really gonna need a nonpublic place for this. I don't need you jumping through the ceiling from elation. Sheepy: Crow:..... Sheepy: Crow: Elation? You think I feel elated...?! Arsé-kun: Raph: Now why would I suggest that after saying only SOME of us perished? Sheepy: Crow:...... Sheepy: Crow: Even if they aren't dead... There's no way they could forgive what I did. Why they left... Why everyone left... I tried not being myself, I really did...! Arsé-kun: Raph: .... ... The universe doesn't revolve around you. Things happen without your permission. Sheepy: Crow: I know that! Arsé-kun: Raph: Then why are you saying people left because of you? People died from this. Sheepy: Crow: That's not right...! Sheepy: Crow: Everyone's just gone 'cuz they left! I-if they didn't...Why am I here...?! Arsé-kun: Raph: Well, that depends on a lot of things. Where you were at the time, the chemical makeup of the environment, the population present at the location, age, a lot of other things that probably don't matter? But that's the scientific answer. Sheepy: Crow: Someone like me wouldn't be spared... Fallen angels are scary angels that people don't like. They're outcasts. That's why... Arsé-kun: Raph: .... Every single one of us that wasn't spared is fallen now. You're not. Sheepy: Crow:..... Sheepy: Crow: That's not right...that can't be.... Arsé-kun: Raph: I can provide proof immediately on site. Sheepy: Crow: What...? Arsé-kun: *Raph reaches back and winces briefly before dropping several very singed feathers onto the table* Arsé-kun: Raph: Yours look like this? Sheepy: Crow: ...? Sheepy: Crow: Why’re they so...? Sheepy: Crow: ... Sheepy: Crow: I’m... I’m so confused. Sheepy: Crow: They’re so... burnt. Why would they be like that? Mine aren’t...! Sheepy: Crow: I was 12... I don’t get it... is that enough for me to be spared...? But everyone disliked me, ‘cuz I annoyed them. I shouldn’t’ve been... Arsé-kun: Raph: Let me be simple. You aren't Fallen- You didn't fall and burn the whole way down. Sheepy: Crow:... Arsé-kun: Raph: If you want to call yourself fallen, that's fine. It's a good aesthetic, I get that. Sheepy: Crow:...? Sheepy: Crow: If they're dead, I can't see them again... If they're alive... after what I said, I can't just... ... Tch, that's it. That's gotta be it. Sheepy: Crow: Eheh! You got the great Crow pretty good! Arsé-kun: Raph: I'm not joking around for once. *he lightly pulls on Crow's ear* Do you really think they care that you said something years ago? Sheepy: Crow: Ouch...! Sheepy: Crow: What d'you know anyway? You don't know what happened between us. You don't even know who I am. Sheepy: Crow: You and that angelic creep I met yesterday both act like absolute know it alls. Arsé-kun: Raph: I didn't need to hear it from you when I had the other side of it on the horn. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: Horn? I'm a hedgehog, not a cow! Sheepy: Crow: How would you know who my Dad and Uncle are, huh? It's not like they'd have pics of me. Arsé-kun: Raph: You'd be surprised about that. Sheepy: Crow: You don't have proof! Arsé-kun: Raph: ...... I'm pretty sure it's still your uncle's work hours right now, so calling is out of the question Arsé-kun: *Rom has decided at some point that this Isn't His Problem and moved tables. Let's play Blackjack with Kay to ignore this entirely.* Sheepy: *Shuu followed Rom.* Sheepy: Crow: Working hours...? Arsé-kun: Raph: He's working as a prosecutor these days. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: Eh....ehhh? Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Law stuff. Sheepy: Crow: Prosecutor... prosecutor... Law... Sheepy: Crow: I know those! They behead people! Arsé-kun: Raph: That's an executioner. Sheepy: Crow:..... Sheepy: Crow: You're just a bundle of confusions! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: No, you're an idiot. Can you stop sounding dumber than my step-brother? Thanks. *he places a bottle of milk on the table for Crow, and then a cup of coffee for Raph.* He eats plastic, by the way. Sheepy: Crow: It's not stupidity to not know things you've never heard of! *he grabs the bottle of milk with a huff, opens it, and starts drinking it* Sheepy: Crow: And just know that I don't actually trust you very much! Sheepy: Crow: All you've done to back up your claims is show me some feathers. Arsé-kun: Raph: That's fine. If you trusted me right off the bat, I'd worry more. Sheepy: Crow: I doubt that! Arsé-kun: Raph: But okay. How can I earn at least some trust? Sheepy: Crow: Back up your claims. Duh! You know so much about me from Dad? Tell me what you know. I'll accept a little bit of incorrect info, because I've been on my own for a while. Or tell me about Dad! Or Uncle! Sheepy: Crow: Or... I don't know! Some evidence! Arsé-kun: Raph: Sure thing. I'll not say your real name, but I'll give what I know. You've been described to me before as a loudmouth that spent a lot of time in the barn with the cows. Got a bit rebellious in the teenage years, but that's completely normal. I still have no idea what kind of job Klimt has, but he still has that massive dog. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Balmung? Has he been lonely? Arsé-kun: Raph: Maybe a little? Sheepy: Crow: ....Well, so far everything sounds right. Arsé-kun: Raph: Barok's still drinking wine constantly. Sheepy: Crow: It's a bad habit to have... Arsé-kun: Raph: It is. Sheepy: Crow: But I guess he's always been like that. Sheepy: Crow: I miss them... but they wouldn't wanna see me again. Arsé-kun: Raph: According to Barok, Klimt still buys two cartons of milk every time they buy groceries. So I don't think that's correct. Sheepy: Crow: Maybe he just likes milk. Arsé-kun: Raph: He labels it as yours. Sheepy: Crow:.... Arsé-kun: Raph: Things you say in heated moments do not always remain as important as they're believed to. Sheepy: Crow: But... I... I never got to apologize and say I didn't mean it. It's not fair... Arsé-kun: Raph: I think they understood that, but you'll probably get your chance. Sheepy: Crow: Probably? Arsé-kun: Raph: I don't want to guarantee it. It could raise your expectations too high. Sheepy: Crow: So there's no way you can get into contact with 'em...? Arsé-kun: Raph: Barok is either working or drinking, so he's currently unavailable. Klimt is a nightmare to get a hold of. Sheepy: Crow:..... Arsé-kun: Raph: ... But I will try. Sheepy: Crow: Seriously, who getd drunk in the middle of the day...? Arsé-kun: Raph: Barok. Sheepy: Crow: Well, if you succeed, I'll give you my autograph! Heh! No need to thank me! Arsé-kun: Raph: Uh, sure. Sheepy: Crow: One day it'll be worth a lot, you know! My buddies and me... we'll make our crimson passion known to everyone! Arsé-kun: Raph: I wouldn't sell that, so why would I care for the value..? Sheepy: Crow:.....Uh... Sheepy: Crow:....Bragging rights! Arsé-kun: Raph: True! Sheepy: Crow: I don't really have much. I'll cook something up for you! Yeah! The great Crow's cooking is great! Everyone says so! Sheepy: Crow: So, will you do it? Arsé-kun: Raph: Sure. Let me get functional and I'll give it a shot. Sheepy: Crow: Cool, cool! Arsé-kun: *Raph picks up his coffee* Sheepy: *Crow drinks more of his milk.* Sheepy: Crow: I wonder if he drinks coffee with his wine in the morning... Arsé-kun: Raph: Oh, probably. Sheepy: Crow: Yuck. I gotta convince him to drink more milk! Arsé-kun: Raph: And less wine. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, yeah! Sheepy: Crow: Milk makes you strong! Sheepy: Crow: But I drink it every day to grow tall... and it NEVER helped!!! Sheepy: Crow: Dad and Uncle are real tall...! When will I be like that?! Sheepy: Crow: Being tall is cool! I've got cattle who praise me, saying I'm "cute" and "smol"! I'm not those things, but they don't listen... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Sucks to be you. If it worked that way, Duncan wouldn't be half your height. Sheepy: Crow:...Eh... even then, he's only sometimes half my height... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Disregarding the rest of the time. Sheepy: Crow: Sometimes he's real tall, and sometimes I'm reduced height. Not short! Arsé-kun: *Raph's texting, meanwhile. bitch writing an essay* Sheepy: Crow:...? Arsé-kun: Raph: Klimt is doing the thing where he ignores his phone, so I'm going to just keep texting until he gives up. Sheepy: Crow: Why would he ignore his phone? I just send one word responses when people message me, rather than ignoring them! Sheepy: Crow: I don't even read 'em usually. Sheepy: Crow:....Okay, I don't always send a response. But "Read" is a response! Arsé-kun: Raph: So you and he do the exact same stuff. I see! Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: I don't ignore it!! Arsé-kun: Raph: People usually like replies, generally speaking, and neither of you do that. And Barok does less than that. Sheepy: Crow: Well... well! When Rom asks about lunch, I answer what I want. Or if Yaiba asks if I wanna hang out, I answer yes or no... Arsé-kun: Raph: Well, better than your uncle. Sheepy: Crow: This stinks though...! Why do they both gotta be impossible to reach?! Arsé-kun: Raph: Because Klimt is a disaster in human form and Barok's a jerk. Sheepy: Crow: I can join you in text spamming...! Arsé-kun: Raph: Actually, let me ask you something real quick first Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Arsé-kun: Raph: Did Barok ever just complain about his boss doing dumb shit? Sheepy: Crow: Eh? I think he wanted your head. Arsé-kun: Raph: I'm not surprised. But okay! We're gonna gremlin tag team your uncle! I'll give you his number. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah! I'll help! Sheepy: *Crow takes a selfy!* Sheepy: Crow: *He then sends the selfy to Barok!* Sheepy: Crow: [Text: to Barok] hi uncle Sheepy: Crow: OK, I sent my text! Maybe he'll read it! Arsé-kun: Raph: Good luck. Sheepy: Crow: Is it really so difficult...? Arsé-kun: Raph: Yeah, he never answers. Arsé-kun: *... Crow's phone dings right after Raph says this* Sheepy: Crow: *he checks it* Arsé-kun: Barok: [text: to Crow] WHERE ARE YOU Sheepy: Crow: [Text: to Barok] w/ some weirdo creep in a coffee shop on a school campus Arsé-kun: Barok: [text: to Crow] UNHELPFUL Sheepy: Crow: Hey, where is this? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Miskatonic University. The new one. If this was the old one, we'd all be dead. Sheepy: Crow: [text: to Barok] miskatonic university coffee shop Sheepy: Crow: Great, thanks! Sheepy: Crow:...Eh, d'ya mean I gotta work my butt off even more to clean up the old place?! Arsé-kun: *Wilbur shrugs with questionable intent* Sheepy: Crow: I'm not doing that unless I gotta! Sheepy: Crow: He asked where I am... Y'think he's coming over? Arsé-kun: Raph: If he intends to, he might run into security. But that depends on his mood. Sheepy: Crow: Security? Sheepy: Crow: Oh, is that what I met yesterday...? Arsé-kun: Kay: --Grif, you can't eat the cards to avoid going over 21. Sheepy: Crow: There was this guy who was a total jerk towards me! Sheepy: Grif: There is no rule against it. Sheepy: Crow: And this other guy who was a total creep! Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Our security is attempting to eat playing cards, apparently. Sheepy: Crow: One of the security guys last night claimed the other one couldn't die... Sheepy: Crow: That's totally out of my jurisdiction... Arsé-kun: Raph: ...? We only have one security guard, but that still sounds correct. Sheepy: Crow: And then there was this guy who was chasing me on all fours. heepy: Crow: Is Uncle gonna have to deal with all that...? Arsé-kun: Raph: Only one of these is a guard, so I sure hope not. Sheepy: Crow: Uncle is strong! He can beat any of them! Sheepy: Crow: One day, I'll be stronger than Uncle. And then I won't lose my target again! Arsé-kun: Barok: [text: to Crow] I'm still at work, so I cannot show up now. Is tomorrow acceptable? Sheepy: Crow: [text: to Barok] yes Sheepy: Crow: [text: to Barok] same place? Arsé-kun: Barok: [text: to Crow] Certainly. I will attempt to drag your father out the door as well. Sheepy: Crow: [text: to Barok] what time? Sheepy: Crow: [text: to Barok] lunch? Arsé-kun: Barok: [text: to Crow] I can work with this. Sheepy: Crow: [text: to Barok] k see you there Sheepy: Crow: I scheduled a meeting time! Arsé-kun: Raph: Good job! Tell me so I can avoid being present! Sheepy: Crow: One day... this'll be how I schedule my interviews! Ehehehe! Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Do you dislike him that much? Right here, noon, tomorrow. Arsé-kun: Raph: Nah, he dislikes me. I'm not gonna ruin it for him. Sheepy: Crow: You're surprisingly nice for a creep! Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Do you just call people whatever insults cross your mind? Sheepy: Crow: I don't really think about what I say. Yep, I'm a natural! Sheepy: Crow: After all, you're the boss he complained so much about, right? I haven't a clue who you are outside of that. Sheepy: Crow: And how am I supposed to refer to you when I don't know your name, huh? Arsé-kun: Raph: It's Raphael. My bad, thought I did that earlier ^^; Sheepy: Crow:.... Nope! Never heard of you. Sheepy: Crow: Work real hard to put your name out there and one day you'll be known! Arsé-kun: Raph: ... ... Y'know what, that's fair enough. Sheepy: Crow: He was an absolute weirdo. Arsé-kun: Raph: Blond or green hair? Sheepy: Crow: Blond. Arsé-kun: Raph: Oh, Il. Be nice to him, he's still adjusting. Sheepy: Crow: Il? He implied he would've attacked me if I wasn't an angel... Sheepy: Crow: His friend thought I was gonna kill him. The heck kinda vibes do they think I put off? Just because I reaped a soul right in front of 'em? Arsé-kun: Raph: Reaping souls kills them if they aren't already dead. Arsé-kun: Raph: So yeah, I can see that panning out. Sheepy: Crow: Just 'cuz I offered to do it for them too! I wasn't really gonna do it. And anyway...! I was just following my list! Arsé-kun: Raph: Hard situation, then. On one hand, that's your job. On the other, Judgement. Sheepy: Crow: Judgement? Arsé-kun: Raph: Scary strong. Judgement's the guy the really bad angels were sent to for punishment. Sheepy: Crow: Tch! I'm not a kid anymore. Arsé-kun: Raph: No, worse. Sheepy: Crow: I don't believe silly junk like that. Arsé-kun: Raph: I mean the ones that commit actual crimes. Sheepy: Crow: Ehhh... Sheepy: Crow: Never heard of the guy. Arsé-kun: Raph: Aren't you lucky? And sheltered... Might need a word with Klimt. Sheepy: Crow: Sheltered? Sheepy: Crow: Just 'cuz this judgement guy didn't show up on the front doorstep doesn't mean I'm sheltered... Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Y'know what? He can explain. Sheepy: Crow: I know the real important angels! Sheepy: Crow: Dad! And Uncle!! Arsé-kun: Raph: So you weren't taught about the hierarchy or leaders at all.. Arsé-kun: Raph: What a mess. It doesn't matter now, of course, but still. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? There was what? Arsé-kun: Raph: The government. Sheepy: Crow: I know about that, but why would that be important? Arsé-kun: Raph: Because it means you weren't taught like.. At least fifty percent of the stuff even child angels were taught. Sheepy: Crow: I was taught the important stuff! Arsé-kun: Raph: Doubting this, but we've derailed. Sheepy: Crow: I was taught farming! Arsé-kun: Raph: And that's probably all you needed. Sheepy: Crow: I can do taxes and stuff too. Arsé-kun: *Kay Will Remember This* Sheepy: Crow: Really, anything important, I knew! Judgement? Hierarchy? That sorta stuff wasn't relevant to my life. It never would have impacted me. Sheepy: Crow: What, are you one of those leaders? Arsé-kun: Raph: Even if I was, I don't think it'd impact the conversation much! Sheepy: Crow: And anyway, it wouldn't impact me, 'cuz my boss is my boss! And only my boss! But I guess I kinda gotta listen to ShinganCrimsonZ's manager, too... And Rom... Sheepy: Crow: You've totally heard of my boss! He's the coolest! Arsé-kun: Raph: Maybe, maybe not. Sheepy: Crow: Thanatos! He's real cool! Arsé-kun: Raph: ..! Arsé-kun: Raph: I didn't know Peaceful Death was taking on apprentices... Sheepy: Crow: Huh? Arsé-kun: Raph: Never heard of him having anyone work under him before. Sounds like he's a good boss, though. Arsé-kun: *raph more or less wants to just yell "WHAT THE FUCK". so bad.* Sheepy: Crow: Well, I guess you could say he took me in and trained me when I had nowhere to go. I didn't really wanna follow the whole angel of death deal, but I gotta. 'Cuz I'm the only one left. Sheepy: Crow: That's how he ended up with the job of training me, I guess. Arsé-kun: Raph: I see, I see. Good to know. Sheepy: Crow: But! He's a good boss! A real friend! Sheepy: Crow: So if you say bad things about him, I'll throw fists with you. And just know that my crimson fist is the strongest! Arsé-kun: Raph: I would never dare try. I'd be best off not crossing either of you. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, yeah! We're real cool! Sheepy: Crow: What job do you do here? Sheepy: Crow: You aren't actually someone who can boss me around, are you? Arsé-kun: Raph: I'm a doctor. So this is a bit awkward. Sheepy: Crow: ...A doctor... ...Hey, hey! Can you tell your patients that I won't spare them, no matter what they say to me? Sheepy: Crow: People keep acting all desperate and praising me when I come for 'em because of this stupid rumor Shuu spread to make me look bad! Sheepy: Crow: That's a doctor's job, isn't it? To prepare patients for death? Arsé-kun: Raph: I mean, when it's necessary, yes. Sheepy: Crow: Okay, then get rid of this dumb rumor! Sheepy: Crow: It makes me look bad! I'm not that hungry for praise! Sheepy: Crow: I just want everyone to see how cool our band is, and by extension, me. 'Cuz I'm the mascot! I don't want people manipulating me and begging for their lives. It makes me feel bad. Arsé-kun: Raph: It'll be noted. Sheepy: Crow: Cool! Now I won't have to worry about that anymore. Sheepy: Crow: You've more useful than I was expecting! Arsé-kun: Raph: I'd hope so. I intended to be of assistance. Sheepy: Crow: Next time, introduce me to the green guy you mentioned! Arsé-kun: Raph: I probably will. It'd be a good idea for us to gather at least once.. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: can't wait to watch uncle bitch and moan while cleaning feathers out of someone's classroom. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, but my feathers are cool! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: He'll find a way to complain. Sheepy: Crow: Well, eh... He can deal with it!

#c.au #6

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