#<- not the moot im talking about pizza pasta

[strawbs-screaming]

☆ pizza pasta / pete zapasta headcanons ☆

i want to watch him sob. Im running out of normal things to say about the men im violently woobifying and its not fun

- after his boxing days were over, he started to work as a real estate agent and part time model

- did a fuck ton of jobs before his real estate shithole, including: chef, model, actor, lawyer and most importantly, podcast haver

- Really sensitive but likes to call it "being in touch with his emotions" When hes just a really big crybaby

- Really emotional, way more than the normal person, hes willing to cry over sad movies, romance movies and anything dramatic in general

- kept in touch with no one, and i mean NO ONE. No one knows where he went, no one knows where he is now, everyone just assumes him to be dead, theres a joke going on that he had memory loss and is now living in belgium

- gathers with his sad cringe fail uncool not swag non cash money babygirl sad noodle friends and have soup together while talking about being sad little men who are babygirl

- has insomnia (stop with the projecting moe im begging you) that ends with him eating cold spaghetti in the dark, on the kitchen floor at 2 AM before passing out

- Really animated, you could tell him the most tragic, depressing, heart shattering news and he would go "OH NO OH MAMA!!" Before crying hysterically on the floor, he literally emotes