#<-kinda? can be read as /r or /qp

[tjodity]

Loose Transfem C!Tommy thoughts:

@maigetheplatypus57

transcript below cut:

I think Tommy would be fine still going by Tommy and it's easier to remember but she would get so so much gender euphoria from being called Clementine I think when she's younger she doesn't feel any attachment to being a guy and really really wants to look like the girls she hangs out with but doesn't have any context for those feelings and just assumes it's kinda normal and tries to make a joke out of it. Hence "Manly man ulimate man tommyinnit" and "I love women" being running bits. She really idolizes Schlatt just from commercials and interviews and stuff she sees as this guy who seems to just. nail being a man so flawlessly. When Tubbo transitions she's like wow that's so cool I wish I could do that. Anyways. but that's kind of the first even incling that she'd like to be a girl but she doesn't think about it again for a while. Then everything with Manberg happens and she gets to see Schlatt and realizes 'oh this guy is so fucked up. oh this guy was an insecure wreck who ended up destroying everything around him and himself while pretending so hard that he was fine. huh' and the feeling that something is wrong with how she's going about things gets a bit stronger. But she keeps putting it off because of everything happening. BUT THEN WE GOT EXILE. nothing can force you to think about your own identity like being kicked out by your best friend and completely isolated on an island for a few weeks and grappling with suicidal ideation. At this point she's kinda like fuck I don't wanna be me but is having a hard time sorting out what's gender and what's depression and what's escapism. I think her habit of trying to ignore it and overcorrect flares up really badly when she's living with Techno. Cuts her hair short and tries to put on this very cold, violent exterior-

because she's just very scared and feels completely betrayed and alone and deeply uncomfortable in her own skin. Post Disc Finale she spends a lot of time trying to grapple with herself. She finds some of Niki's old clothes that she abandoned somewhere and tries them on in private and gets really freaked out by the fact that she likes wearing them and puts them away. She's not really on speaking terms with Eret and Tubbo at this point she's friends with but he's not always very approachable. Ironically I think the first time he voices any of her thoughts about gender is when she's trapped in prison because Dream won't tell anyone and she doesn't really care about what he thinks of her. And cDream is. a very bad person. But he's also not transphobic, and he also cares about Tommy in his own horrible fucked up way, and he can kind of relate just based on wanting to be someone else and weeks spent in different performances and disliking parts of how he looks. He comes across as dismissive but also tells Tommy that she can just be a girl if she wants, and that she's stupid for stressing out over something like gender. Then a few days later he beats her to death but yknow. I think the first person she'd properly like. come out to would be Sam Nook. Basically saying like hey could you act like i was a girl for a little while pleaseplease please and Sam Nook's just like Okay ^_^ I think she might come out to like. Ranboo next. She doesn't know him suuper well but she just finds them easy to talk to and it ends up slipping out

It would take her a whiiiile to tell Tubbo because she has a hard time talking to him and doesn't want to mess with anything that could upset their friendship but after they start making an effort to hang out more and Tommy starts living in Snowchester she would try to mention it very very casually just when they're doing chores one day. Then Tubbo is hit with like several years of memories of Tommy being arguably very clockable as an egg and him just. not realizing and he has a crisis about not noticing something like that. But when he calms down he becomes #1 Tommy girl supporter. He calls her pretty and cute and Miss and Ma'am and drags her out to go shopping so that they can get dresses and makeup and things for her. Tubbo vaguely remembers how to do makeup and Ranboo wants to learn with Tommy so they have a fun time with that. I think Tommy would love love love wearing dresses and doing her makeup and stuff but would not give any fucks about being traditionally pretty or presentable. She'd run around with very cute dresses wearing a t-shirt and cargo shorts below it with very assymetrical makeup having the time of her life

also she'd grow her hair out and loooove braiding it. Her transition also comes with a lot of relief because for a loong time she's enjoyed things that are traditionally feminine (sewing, domestic chores and upkeep, etc) but wasn't letting herself enjoy them and just letting go is so nice.

I also think with cTubbo #1 Tommy being a girl supporter and also Tommy living in Snowchester with him and Ranboo and them being so close Tubbo would absolutely accidentally call Tommy his wife at some point in conversation. And then there's a beat and then he's like ohmygod im so sorry i didnt mean to say that and Tommy's just like no I'm that from now on. Husband<3 and Tubbo's just completely dumbfounded

[doomburgerdoodles]

kuzenbo replied to your post “This might be unpopular opinion time. I’ve really kinda lost the magic...”

a g r e e

Sad and so frustrating tbh :/

edithroemer replied to your post “This might be unpopular opinion time. I’ve really kinda lost the magic...”

I don't read much of any fanfics but like...thinking of them as father/son is just.............weird and wrong

kuzenbo

replied to your post

“This might be unpopular opinion time. I’ve really kinda lost the magic...”

@edithroemer how so? can you point out ANYTHING in canon that suggests a father/son interpretation of events would be weird? i have nothing against hannor shippers as a concept i just wish yall wouldn't say nonsense like this

Yeah ‘weird and wrong’ is a pretty harsh descriptor imo? canon has Hank calling Connor ‘son’ (in context “Hang on, son” so like common colloquial term for an older man to call a younger man as well) and telling Connor him dying reminds him too much of Cole, like the evidence for it is there enough, even if it’s easily interpreted other ways. 

Plus if we take Connor’s age as around what Bryan’s is (31), then Connor and Hank are 20 years apart about roundabouts, which is plenty enough for Hank to be the right age to be his parental figure.

So yeah, i think its very reasonable people would think of them as having a more father/son relationship. 

It’s just been so tainted with CONNOR IS A BABY UWU ableistbs that its ruined for me now lmao. Plus some other complications but I won’t talk about them rn XD

marvelously replied to your post “This might be unpopular opinion time. I’ve really kinda lost the magic...”

hard finding anything that's labeled them as qp specifically but this one's pre-relationship and i think could interpreted as queerplatonic instead! https://archiveofourown.org/works/15290766

YESSSS thank you I’ve bookmarked it for later! I’ve been wanting something after that scene anyway so I’m excited 8I

[eaterwhore]

yknow. they say im important but sometimes i really dont feel that way

its frustrating when they sit there and say they want to be loved and wanted like they love and want and im sittin here screaming “I WANT YOU!! I LOVE YOU!!!!” and they dont hear a goddamn word i say

AND add on how they never tell me anything- i have to read their dms to find out when they feel bad and what about

i feel like im getting tossed to the side and am so out of touch with their life but not of my own volition

so i withdraw and then nothing changes? they just kinda accept it? im learning to really hate them having dependeds/not being their depended

like. i was so good to them? im still so good to them? i can be a bit distant but i want to be m o r e i just dont feel . safe doing that

but i just. i still love them. so much. im happy with the moirail/qp role but i still want to be most important

[cavesalamander]

Do you have any queer book recs? Preferably not the kind where it's like a coming out book or a Queer Struggle™?

Thanks for the ask!

Honestly I don’t go seeking out a lot of queer books for just that reason - also because being ace and mostly aro, I tend to go for heavy world building and action/adventure, with romance being mostly incidental, if there at all. Also series that last a while and let me know the characters really well.

I also don’t tend to read books that aren’t already at least somewhat popular, so if you want more indie queer book recs, please go check out https://twitter.com/tatehallaway this badass lady on the twitters. I haven’t read any of her books (yet, entirely because I haven’t read anything longer than a couple thousand words in way too long) but I met her at World Con where she hosted a panel on diversity in fiction. She’s a queer writer and is super approachable and friendly. I’m sure she’d be able to point you in the right direction, if not rec some of her own books!

I also would totally recommend checking out Mark Oshiro who recently wrote and got his own book published!! I’m super excited for him, and I’m gonna buy it at some point. His reviews of books are really entertaining too, and he gets pretty autobiographical during them. His fans often recommend queer books and TV shows to him too - so then you get to watch him cry when he realizes that this character that he fell in love with is SURPRISE GAY and he’s so happy he can’t with the emotions. (He’s also a total sweetheart in person holy crap. I got to talk to him at World Con too.)

There’s also TritonYA, which is a publishing house that is working on publishing queer YA genre fiction. I haven’t read any of the 3 books they posted so far because I don’t have the f o c u s these days, and none of them really caught my interest from the summary.

As for books I’VE read... (Apologies that these are like all from cis straight authors afaik, they’re just the ones who I read/ started reading 10+ years ago when I used to read all the time... and back then there just wasn’t the visibility of queer authors, and I didn’t go searching for particular books. I just don’t read very much anymore aaahhh!)

The Circle of Magic series by Tamora Pierce is FANTASTIC. It’s very much romance light - very heavy on the friendship and bonds between the four main characters. But one of the four MCs is lesbian, and there are other queer secondary characters. One of the other girls reads to me as ace/aro too, but that hasn’t been confirmed. (And like 99% of the time my hopes are dashed, but I can see Pierce actually writing an ace character who stays ace.)

Keep in mind that when the series starts they’re like 10, so romance doesn’t come into play until the later books when they’re 16, which is when one of the characters realizes she’s into girls and not boys.

The series is so good too. Pierce’s world building is so good always. She’s like my fuckin idol when it comes to how she does it. The lesbian chara’s character arc about realizing she’s into girls is handled pretty well IMO - the world as a whole isn’t homophobic, so the struggle is mild and mostly self discovery. And the romance is centered around the political struggles happening at the time - is the girl she likes flirting back bc REAL FEELINGS or bc SNEAKY POLITICS!? And SHOULD SHE STAY OR SHOULD SHE GO. Which, given the story as a whole, (and her other writings) this is pretty much in line with how a het romance would be treated.

Trials of Apollo and the Magnus Chase series by Rick Riordan are pretty good too. I don’t like Riordan’s worldbuilding like I love Pierce’s, and he’s writing as a cis straight man but his books are still a lot of fun. There’s a gay kid who gets a couple of POV chapters in an earlier series, (Percy Jackson) but he’s got a lot more of The Struggle going on in his story. (Kinda understandable considering he was born in the 30s, but still.)

Trials follows, well, Apollo who is unapollogetically bi because that’s canon greek myth. (Incidentally, one of his kids is dating the Struggle boy from before and they are very cute together, if a fairly background relationship). Apollo is also totally full of himself and hilarious, and his trials are of course gonna be about how he has to eat a big fuckin slice of humble pie because that’s how grecian trials work. Only like one or two books are out so far, but it looks like it’s gonna be a lot of fun!

Magnus Chase is about a guy who dies and gets sent to Valhalla and becomes a demigod basically. In the second book, a third MC is introduced who is genderfluid/bigender, and by the end of it, Magnus is kinda crushing on her so, that’s cool! I’m not sure yet how it’s gonna be played, since Magnus so far seems to be striaght, and sometimes his love interest is a boy... but I have a pretty good feeling it’s going to be addressed.

Riordan’s a cis straight white dude but he’s definitely done his research. Some of the bits come off kinda “here’s my research laid out” but he started his first series with the goal of, “I want my son to see heroes who are like him. Heroes with ADHD and dyslexia.” And now he’s like “I have fans who are poc, and fans who are queer, and I want them to see themselves too.” And his stories are fun. Which is the important part, in my opinion!

Gunnerkrigg Court by Tom Siddell is actually a webcomic, not a novel, but the MC is most likely aro/ace, and her best friend is bi, who currently is in a relationship with another girl - and there’s at least two other queer couples in the story... and strong hints that one of the characters is a trans girl, and another that used to be a female rabbit but is now a male human, gender unknown as of yet. They didn’t seem particularly bothered by the change though.

It’s also a book about robots and magic and birds and ROBOTS and family legacy and friendship and love and R O B O T S!!! Listen it’s just REALLY GOOD OKAY? Please read it. Please please please!!

The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Johnathan Stroud is one of my all time favorite book series, though it’s the least explicitly queer. There’s no romance in it whatsoever, and the human MC reads to me as aro/ace. (The one time he feels something resembling sexual attraction, he realizes almost instantly that something is Wrong and that he was put under a spell. Lmao...) Human MC is also a ginormous fucking shitlord but I love him a lot, and compared to all the other shitlords in the series, he’s actually pretty moral.

Demon MC is also a shitlord, and somehow works as human MC’s moral compass. Also he’s hilarious. And okay, so... when I was younger, I never really read into anything. But demon MC has this boy from his past who he absolutely loves a lot. You can choose to read it whichever way you want, but it’s a very deep and strong love. QP is likely though unintentional hahaa! Very important... I really need to read the prequel book to see more into how the relationship developed...

A girl is introduced as an MC in the second? and third book. She’s Very Good and also not a love interest. Like it’s way easier to read into a romance between the demon and the boy from his past than it is to read into girl MC and boy MC.

Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner This one I actually got on rec from the librarian I asked for queer books. It’s an older book, like from the 80s and this one I’m pretty sure the author IDs as bi, so hey that’s at least one rec from a queer author. The book is just set in a fantasy world where sexuality is like WHATEVER! and everyone fights with swords and honor and the MC and everyone else are all total fucking pricks but also bisexual.

It’s the most adult and romancy book out of all of them, but the love scenes aren’t explicit or anything. Definitely a recommended read if you wanna see some earlier rep. The copy of the book I got from the library had a recommendation by GRRM on the cover - one that I think predated his rise to fame. You can definitely see why he’d like it. There’s lots of political drama, affairs, murder, swords, etc.

People die, and I don’t necessarily want to spoil you on if the MC or the MC’s love interest dies unless you want me to (You’re welcome to ask!), but it IS a romance, and it’s not centered around The Struggle at all, and I don’t think it counts as Bury Your Gays if EVERYONE is queer!

So that’s what I have off the top of my head. I only counted MAIN characters in this, none of that “someone was gay once in the background see? representation!!!” crap. And like I said, it’s been a while since I’ve really sat down and read anything in earnest. The Swordspoint book was the only one I found while I was actively looking for queer books, the rest is just happy happenstance!

Let me know if you have any questions, and feel free to reblog!