#>>Divine Teacher >>Sotha Sil

[thedreamingapostle]

@mechanicosmia​

Caspar loved dreaming more than he did being awake. His imagination was limitless, and through his years studying within the Clockwork city, he has finely tuned his own pocket of reality inside his mind. It was lonely, but solitude was the dunmer’s best friend-- it’s all he’s ever known. The world was filled with little birds and bugs to keep him company, but Caspar simply added them to beautify his little world. No one had ever been here except himself.

Which is why when Caspar leaves the grand tower he holes himself up in, he blinks when he sees movement in the streets of the facade of a town he had created. None of the creatures that inhabited his dreams were bigger than a small deer, and this intruder was tall. From that observation, it takes milliseconds for Caspar to piece together exactly who that form was. 

Caspar, though a devout student, swore he would never waste time recreating Sotha Sil in his dream world. It was pointless, even dangerous, and slightly blasphemous. But could he have on accident? No, impossible, he tells himself. Accidents don’t happen in the Lucent Phantasmagorium.

Bending corners and crossing always empty streets, with his heart beating in his throat, Caspar chases the ever looming shadow of what he only hopes is the Clockwork God and not some vile aberration playing tricks.

...Until he runs himself right into the back of Sotha Sil, knocking himself back onto his hindquarters with a startled grunt. 

[tittytania]

Finding ChristBorg: A TED talk about what happened during the Coldharbour Compact.

Reposted from my tes reddit bc I want to see what y’all think.

I can't tell if I'm a genius, completely insane, or if I'm just late to the lore-party. Time to find out I guess. TL;DR at the bottom.

So it has never been explained what Sotha Sil did during the Coldharbour Compact to convince the daedric princes to not manifest on Nirn without an intermediary, and it probably never will be since the mystery of it all is far too cool. But that doesn't mean I can't read into it like literature and look for meaning in the other texts I can compare it to.

To start, Vivec is based off of the Shakta variation of the half female/half male Ardhanarishvara, where the gold-skinned female half is the right side. Both Vivec and Ardhanarishvara represent unity and duality, and looking at some images of Ardhanarishvara, it's kinda hard to argue that Vivec wasn't based off of them. Kirkbride even confirmed that Ardhanarishvara was the inspiration for Vivec in an AMA. Now, Vivec is part of the god trio the Almsivi Tribunal, along with Almalexia and Sotha Sil. Shiva, who Ardhanarishvara is the avatar of, is also part of a god trio, called the Trimurti in Hinduism. So it would make sense if the other members of the tribunal are also based off of one member of a real world religious triad. I have a shaky idea of who Almalexia could be, but my theory for her god-inspiration is nowhere near as solid as my theory for Sotha Sil, who I believe is based on Jesus Christ.

To start, their characterizations have multiple similarities. Both are one branch of a god-triad, with Sotha Sil as part of the Tribunal, and Jesus as The Son in the Holy Trinity. Both serve as a teacher, with Jesus being referred to as Teacher several times in the Bible, and Sotha Sil giving lessons on magic and Mysticism to the Psijic Monks. Also, both are characterized as wise, patient, and celibate. They both talk about moral and philosophical concepts with their followers, neither Jesus nor Sotha Sil are shown as having a temper or raising their voices, and neither of them are shown with a spouse or partner. Sotha Sil is specifically shown as not caring about the Night Mother's attempts to sexually manipulate him in book seven of 2920, The Last Year of the First Era. Now I know that 2920 is considered a work of historical fiction in-universe, but I don't think that matters in this situation since I'm approaching this as a person reading a text, not as a person living inside the lore world.

In terms of specific scenes that connect Sotha Sil and Jesus, the first I will mention is that they both use a makeshift whip to beat intruding wrongdoers and drive them away, while yelling about fathers. In the Truth in Sequence vol. 8 book, it says that "[t]hrough His will alone, Mighty Seht wound the veins (of metal ore) into god-bronze whips, and lashed the Prince pitilessly," saying "[b]ehold the wrath of lost Ald Sotha! Know death at my hands, false-son of a false-father!" In the Bible, Jesus found people doing sales in a place of worship, and then He "made a whip of cords, (and) He drove them all out of the temple," saying “Take these things away! Do not make My Father’s house a house of merchandise!” (John 2 15-16).

Also, Jesus had close friends and followers who were called his apostles, and Sotha Sil has his own Clockwork Apostles. Sil's apostles reside in the Clockwork Basilica, and while basilica isn't an exclusively Christian term, it is frequently used to describe a type of church architecture, and is a term the pope uses to recognize distinguished churches.

Another similarity that I found was in the plot of Morrowind, where Sotha Sil's death was caused at the hands of Almalexia, who was someone he had once loved and trusted, much like with Jesus and Judas.

The most notable life similarity as it relates to the Coldharbour Compact is that both leave the earthly world in order to make a deal for the benefit of the souls on earth, and then return to the earthly world. This parallel is given extra weight with the descriptions of the scene in the book 2920, The Last Year of the First Era. Sotha Sil returns from Coldharbour by way of someone "rolling aside the great boulder that blocked the entrance to the Dreaming Cavern. This sounds a lot like the scene in the bible of the discovery that Jesus had risen from the dead, where "an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door" (Matthew 28:2). In addition, Jesus said "after He is killed, He will rise [on] the third day," (Matthew 17:23) and after Sotha Sil returned from Coldharbour, he "felt he had been away for months, years, but only a few days had transpired." Perhaps it had been 3?

In addition to the life and behavior similarities, there are similarities in dress. In the 2920 book, Sotha Sil is always described as wearing a white robe or cloak. In ESO, Sotha Sil is shown as barefoot, and wearing a blue sash over his long white robe. In medieval and renaissance art, Jesus is most always depicted as barefoot, and is frequently shown with a blue cloth over his shoulder. In most resurrection art, as well as in almost all 20th/21st century art, Jesus is depicted as dressed in white. While Jesus usually isn't usually shown wearing both the blue sash and the white robe at once like Sotha Sil is, I found one modern interpretation of Jesus that does dress him this way, and several depictions of him in Chinese art that also portray him like this.

I'm feeling almost conspiratorial here, but these similarities are far too many for me to think it's accidental, and therefore I have to think that all of this is meant to suggest that Sotha Sil serves a Christ-figure role in his story, i.e. in sacrificing own life like Jesus did in order to make his deal in the Coldharbour Compact. However I don't think Sil's sacrifice was quite so simple. After he is asked what he offered the Daedra in return for the deal, he states: "The deals we make with Daedra... [s]hould not be discussed with the innocent." This implies that in contrast to the Christ mythos, Sil's sacrifice was not blameless; he did not come out of the deal with his hands clean.

So, a Christ-like sacrifice that isn't quite as pure and selfless as it is in Christianity. What could that be?

My theory is that in order to make the Coldharbour Compact, he sold the lives of Vivec and Almalexia along with his own. Perhaps he told the princes that he knew the tribunal's godhood would end, and in exchange for their cooperation he promised not to tell the other tribunes or make any attempt to prevent his and his companions' demise. (After all, as far as I know he made the mechanical heart for keeping his city functional, not for recreating the divinity the heart of Lorkhan provided.) Or, maybe he offered to do something to assist in bringing the Tribunal down, and losing Sunder and Keening, the tools that helped them maintain their divinity, was intentional on his part. Sil deliberately sacrificing his own life appears to be reflected in Azura's statement after his death. She said "he shed his mortality long ago, and I am certain his death was no small relief to him." Of course she'd know that he let go of his life ages ago if he had willingly sold it to her. Of course she would be certain that he found his death to be a relief, if she'd heard him say so himself when he was explaining why a god would ever offer such a deal.

It would also make sense with Sotha Sil's character, since he allegedly loved the people on Nirn more than Almalexia or Vivec did, and the destruction of Gilverdale could have definitely been a traumatic enough reminder of the destruction of Ald Sotha for him to do something dramatic to prevent it ever happening again. And guilt over sacrificing his friends could have definitely been a contributing factor to the worsening self-isolation and intense depression in his later life. It would also be a definite explanation for why he apparently never met another soul in the 10 years between losing the tools and his death. Not only had he become extremely disillusioned with the imperfections of the world, he had now finalized the deal he made so long ago, and saw no point in continuing to interact with a deeply flawed world he was essentially finished with.

However, I do see some issues with this and how it would work in-universe. Namely the fact that Hermaeus Mora's seekers said the prince received something from every individual on Nirn as part of the deal, which is quite different from what I'm suggesting. A different deal for each prince would also explain why Sil was able to include Clavicus Vile and Mephala in the compact at a much later date. There would be no reason for Vile and Mephala to submit to a collective deal whose terms had already been decided. So if he offered the tribunal's lives as part of the deal, he would have needed to offer other things as well. But for me the most significant in-universe issue I struggled with was that using his death as a bargaining tool would create a massive problem for his ability to enforce the deal in the future. This could explain why both Molag Bal and Mehrunes Dagon manifested on Nirn after Sotha Sil's death, but since I think they were summoned by qualified mortals that could have been a loophole. Either way, making a deal that is meant to last forever by promising something that can never be taken back in the case of a breach of contract seems extremely short-sighted for someone who claims to be cursed with certainty. Especially considering how many of the princes there were known to be cheats and liars.

Unless, that is, you believe this theory I read about the reason why Sil was completely silent as he was killed. My original belief was that he was silent because he'd seen it coming long ago, and knew that nothing he could have said would have changed Almalexia's mind. And while that would be in character for him, now I'm starting to think that it was because he had already uploaded his consciousness elsewhere. This would fit in with the Christ-figure parallels, due to the Christian belief that Jesus is risen from the dead and very much alive. While Jesus returned to life at the same time he emerged from the cave, the completion of Sotha Sil's death sacrifice didn't happen until long after his return via the cave. While I have found no explicit evidence that he's still around, when you find his body in Morrowind he is shown hanging, with his arms outstretched at his sides, in a sort of crucifixion pose. And after the crucifixion comes the resurrection. Perhaps Sotha Sil is still around somewhere in the gears of his city, and he promised the princes he'd never be present or have any influence on Nirn so long as they kept up their end of the deal. Additionally, the 37th sermon of Vivec mentions Sotha Sil as holding "his swollen belly," carrying "[his] daughter." While Vivec's sermons are hardly ever literal, Kirkbride's comments suggest that maybe Vivec was being somewhat literal in this instance. Regarding this concept art, Kirkbride said "note the cosmic baby growing inside Sotha Sil. While Sotha Sil is dead as we saw in the add-on pack “Tribunal”, the child survived." Perhaps one of Sotha Sil's many body modifications made him able to carry and birth a child, and then he created a daughter through self-cloning or some other method that allows him to have enough influence to enforce the compact.

TL;DR - Sotha Sil has a lot of similarities with Jesus, so he's a Christ figure and therefore his sacrifice in the Coldharbour Compact was himself, and Almalexia and Vivec too, and that also means that he may still be around.

Anyways, thanks for reading and sorry if this sounds like I'm putting red strings on a wall as my application essay to the r/SothaSimps fan club. Also, lmk if I'm missing anything obvious. For me right now Reading Lore On The Bedroom Floor is a bit more manageable than playing the games, and there may be something I've just completely looked over.

[the-college-of-whispers]

Hi! I'm quite new with TES paganism, but I was wondering, how would you go about working with the tribunal (aka Vivec, Sotha sil and Almalexia)? Are there correspondences that would fit them?

Hey pal, welcome to TES paganism!

I've never really done in-depth research into the Tribunal, so that's actually where I would start - the research phase, like I do with non-pop entities. I find the Unofficial Elder Scrolls Pages to be a more reliable source of information than the Elder Scrolls Wiki, but this isn't an if/or scenario - you can use both! I also research what lore-studiers in the broader TES community have written for them and try to find information about them on other TEScraft blogs.

After that, I would move onto the planning phase - this is where I bust out my tarot and oracle decks and do a spread to see if this relationship would be a fruitful one. Some good questions to ask at this step include:

What drew me to this entity?

What would our relationship most likely be like?

What could the ultimate outcome of our relationship be for both of us?

What are some things they would like in a relationship? [offerings, devotional acts, etc]

What are some things they would not like in a relationship?

After that and if I feel like the relationship would be a good one from my initial reading, I would move on to the introductory phase. This is where I make first contact. I introduce myself, say I would want to work with them, and make an initial offering. Because I have the space and grandiose for it, I usually set up an altar in or right before this phase.

After that, then it's just the relationship phase. Because I love divination, I check in on my relationship with various entities with tarot and oracle readings. Deity-related card spreads are useful for regular check-ins. Semi-regular or more regular offerings and devotional acts keep the relationship moving, even if it's at a slow pace because of outside things you can't change.

One thing that isn't covered very often is the farewell phase. One may get to a point with the entity they work with where it might be better to end the relationship, either permanently or until a point in the future. This phase is where you thank the entity for their time with you and do one final offering (usually a libation) for them.

Now, as for the Tribunal and associations/offerings therein, I had to do some digging and some research for this post, which is why it took so long to get back to you with this.

Vivec

Alternate Names & Epithets: Guardian God-King of the Holy Land of Vvardenfell, the Master of Morrowind, Saint Vivec, Vehk, vi, Vivek

Domains/Portfolio: great heroism, radical freedom, the spirit and duality of the Dunmer

Canon Associations: a coin with the side profile of his face on one side and his open hand on the other, intersexed people, Muatra (Milk Taker, a spear), The Thirty-Six Lessons of Vivec, Vivec's Ash Mask

Other Associations: genderqueerness, gender non-conformity

Offerings (Misc): coins, depictions of duality, masks, spears (real or fake)

Offerings (Plants): damiana, orchid, pansy, willow (white)

Offerings (Stones): amethyst, rhodonite, tourmaline (green)

Sotha Sil

Alternate Names & Epithets: the Clockwork God, the Clockwork King of the Three in One, the Father of Mysteries, the God of the World Mechanism, the Inspiration of Craft and Sorcery, the Light of Knowledge, the Magician, Magus, Mainspring Ever-Wound, Seht, Si, the Sorcerer, the Teacher, the Tinkerer

Domains/Portfolio: adaptation, artifice, artificers, binding Oblivion, creation, time, wizards

Canon Associations: Keening, Mask of Sotha Sil, Mechanical Heart, Seht's Affect Inducer, Sunder, Sunna'rah, Wraithguard II

Other Associations: binding magic, creation, intelligence, learning, magic overall, soul gems, studying

Offerings (Misc): clocks & other timekeeping things, heart imagery, learning/study materials like textbooks, magical tools you use regularly, masks, staffs

Offerings (Plants): apple, bergamot, columbine, grass, hydrangea, oak (leaf), tangerine

Offerings (Stones): aquamarine, carnelian, fluorite, jasper (yellow), quartz (rose & smoky)

Almalexia

Alternate Names & Epithets: Ayem, Face-Snaked Queen, Healing Mother, Lady of Mercy, the Lover, Mother Morrowind, the Warden

Domains/Portfolio: compassion, forgiveness, healers, healing, madness, protecting the poor/weak, sympathy, teachers

Canon Associations: Hopesfire, Mask of Almalexia, stars, Trueflame

Other Associations: fire, love, medicine, serpents, snakes

Offerings (Misc): masks, medicine bottles, serpent/snake imagery, swords

Offerings (Plants): apple, banana, barberry, blackberry, blueberry, bergamot, cantaloupe, clover, dandelion (leaf), datura (fruit), durian, elderberry, grass, huckleberry, kiwi, kumquat, lemon, lemongrass, lily, lime, mulberry, neroli, oak (acorn), papaya, peach, persimmon, pine (needle), plum, pomegranate, prune, raspberry, sage (woodland), starfruit, tangerine, tomato, walnut

Offerings (Stones): agate (blue lace), amethyst, carnelian, hematite, lapis lazuli, malachite, moldavite, obsidian (especially snowflake), onyx (black), quartz (golden rutilated & rose), sodalite, tiger's eye (red), tourmaline (black & pink)

The reason Almalexia has so many more is because healing and protection are super, super common correspondences. Overall, go with what you feel fits and make sure to do your research!

I hope this helped!

~Jasper

Sources & Recommended Further Reading

UESP Lore page for Vivec: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Vivec

UESP Lore page for Sotha Sil: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Sotha_Sil

UESP Lore page for Almalexia: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Almalexia

"The elves as flowers" by @maybemanyskeletonhats, which can be used for flower correspondences/offerings to the Tribunal: https://the-college-of-whispers.tumblr.com/post/662151707714879488

"Pop Culture Entity Spread" by @paganclan: https://jasper-grimoire.tumblr.com/post/669561516135153664

"Deity Discussion" tarot spread by me on @jasper-pagan-witch: https://jasper-grimoire.tumblr.com/post/666963949897531392

"Back to school crystals" by @daddysdem0n: https://jasper-grimoire.tumblr.com/post/669021744546430976

"White willow:" by @soberwitch: https://jasper-grimoire.tumblr.com/post/669336405254848512

"Deities, Saints, Crystals, and Herbs For All Your Gay Magick Needs" by @the-illuminated-witch: https://jasper-grimoire.tumblr.com/post/666246878201102336/deities-saints-crystals-and-herbs-for-all

"Fruits" by @tired-sunwitch: https://jasper-grimoire.tumblr.com/post/666929429764866048/fruits

Common Spell Items by @gensgrimoire: https://jasper-grimoire.tumblr.com/post/666752796955213824/common-spell-items

"Stones That May Help with Tarot Readings" by @natural-magics: https://jasper-grimoire.tumblr.com/post/668120917738733568/stones-that-may-help-with-tarot-readings

Nami’s Guide to Crystal Divination/Crystal Throwing by @themanicnami: https://jasper-grimoire.tumblr.com/post/666253959573504000/namis-guide-to-crystal-divinationcrystal

[profanetools]

i think in the early days Vivec honestly had some of the hardest time adjusting to godhood actually, believe it or not, and for a while kind of lost it.

Almalexia and Sotha Sil were born to nobility and in some ways godhood is not a gigantic step up in social position: one is still part of a select few with a great deal more power and responsibility than the rest of the populace. Vivec wasn't born into that world; vivec ended up there largely following Nerevar. i really like the headcanon that @seydaneencensusoffice talks about, that vivec has a lot of resentment and class hatred largely directed towards Nerevar because he - and thus in turn vivec too - has become part of the political establishment and the elite they both once despised.

I think following Nerevar's death Vivec doesn't have anyone to redirect that anger onto: hir actions are all hir own. I think that does cause a lot of turmoil and I think in contrast to Almalexia and Sotha sil, Vivec lacks a cause, a vocation.

Almalexia is devoted to mournhold and serves the people of that city and is tied down with a lot of the politics of that city; Sotha sil, in his pre-clockwork years, was a teacher with many students who travelled around the world sharing his knowledge and has his students to ground him. Vivec does not have anything like this as Vivec, for the longest time, was only following Nerevar. In that sense I think his death hit hir the hardest because to some extent Vivec was rather lost.

I think a lot of Vivec's exploits - daring adventures and courageous tales - are the sort of missions one would take when trying to find oneself. In a lot of ways Vivec attempts to do a lot - ze tries to be a philosopher, a poet, a cunning warrior, a head of a religious order, a famous lover, and an anticipation of Mephala - and I like to imagine the great variety of these undertakings stemmed from Vivec scrambling to find hirself in hir newly formed divine position - socially, personally, politically, metaphysically.

I think vivec does settle into the role over time; in contrast I think sotha sil struggles with it more over time and by 3E427 or whatever the year is, sotha sil is coping far worse with thousands of years of divinity.

[ja-khajay]

I know it's too late but I would kill to read some unintelligible tes lore rants right about now

Here’s a transcript of a majority of my rants. About our favorite Chimer. It was a sunny day, I had opinions, the ESO Clockwork city DLC hadn’t came out yet. I still love the first council. I still have opinions. I still don’t consider that DLC canon.

Sotha Sil died “without a word” on purpose, yes he was murdered by Almalexia, but he let himself be killed and wouldn’t have regrets over that. Considering he and Ayem are mentioned in the Lessons together, and the several books written by Almalexia herself where he appears as a child, I assume that :

he and Ayem knew each other from a young age

he and Ayem were close friends

Judging by that and the fact Vivec calls him a brother, it’s no surprise he gave divine power to those two in particular. They were his new family after his blood relatives died, he trusted and loved them. And despite that, he fucked off to god knows where and walled himself in a city in another dimension until he was murdered there, only leaving here and there. The 2920 series mentions him being a teacher to young psyjic kids. Avoiding Morrowind politics again i see

Nerevar died, he and Nerevar were close. Did the first council murder Nerevar or not? We’ll never know and I don’t intend on being a definitive answer to that. I think he was old, a generation older than Ayem who was already the eldest of the soon-to-be-three, and that he got wounded in the fight. Almsivi were already bonded by a common bitterness against him, let him die and betrayed him once he closed his eyes. Ayem and Vivec grew to be rulers, beloved by the people. Sotha Sil didn’t want that, being a more recluse personality, so he left the group with his talents and bitterness, made them ascend, and once they were gods he left again. He always avoided the responsibilities that came with it.

They “ruled”, mostly Ayem with her experience and willpower, Vivec with his intelligence and charisma, Sotha Sil still hidden to the public eye being a mystery figure, Morrowind’s own absent father. Then the Sharmat woke up and cut their access to godhood and their power started decaying. Sotha Sil didn’t mind much, but the others did. The divine connection they had faded and they all started going insane in their own way.

Vivec’s fear of being abandoned flaired up, and he ended up dying, dropping Baar Dau resulting in the end of his city and people. Almalexia grew even more paranoid and unleashed the chaos seen in Tribunal. Sotha Sil walled himself up and refused to believe he was wanted or needed by his fellow tribunes or people. When Almalexia’s chaos started touching him, it woke him up from that mentality and made him realize how far he had fucked up. Almalexia had gone insane and the damage was already done, so he couldn’t do much but accept getting killed by her hand to give her enough time to be stopped by the new Nerevar

...but hey. Morrowind is vague. Anyone can interpret their own stories, right

[littlegalerion]

Aithilo, a Brief Bio

(This is a highly lore-fluid fanfiction that exists in a “what if AU”. If you have an issue with lore breaking, THEN DO NOT READ, you have been warned)

Name: Aithilo Raamando

Gender: Male

Race: Dunmer

Age: ESO, 160 years old

By Oblivion and Skyrim, do the math yourself

Sexuality: Asexual

Class: Sorcerer Archer

Family:

Raiynes Raamando (uncle)

Arncano Raamando (uncle)

Dimwe Raamando (mother)

Divayth Fyr (adopted father)

Sotha Sil (biological father)

Setheso Raamando (daughter)

Childhood:

Dimwe Raamando was a very elusive mage, an ex-ashlander along with her brother Raiynes. She vanished for months at a time, and Raiynes would worry himself sick. She kept company such as Divayth Fyr, and rumors spread she had even reached the Clockwork City. One day she appeared, pregnant, but refused to explain who the father was. She just needed a safe place to have a her child, and her brother couldn't turn her away. Sadly, Dimwe died during childbirth, leaving Raiynes with the task of searching for the newborn boy’s father. He was horrified when Fyr stepped up and claimed the child, and after a long debate, a custody agreement was settled.

Aithilo was raised in Valenwood by his uncles until he was five years old, then the custody agreement between them and Fyr took action. The two sets of guardians rotated months of which they had Aithilo, who took to the traveling in stride. Although he partially was raised on Vvardenfell, he always would consider Valenwood his true home. Aithilo was taught exclusively by Fyr, only permitted to take on other teachers once Aithilo was a young adult and struck out on his own. He did, however, sit in on various Bosmer sessions among their various settlements as a child, and learned a great deal from them.

Adulthood:

Aithilo worshiped Y’free, and no one else, throughout his life, despite Azura appealing to him as his mother had been a devoted servant to her. Fyr, who was near divine, discouraged him from ever worshipping any divine, and instead tutored his son in upholding the legacy of a long and mysterious lifespan. It wasn't until the 3rd Era that Aithilo decided to finally retire, hoping to find a foster mother to have a child with him. Azura chimed in, explaining she wished to bless the child as the Nerevarine, and insisted he should be honored, as “despite the soiled blood you carry, your mother’s sin will at last be made right”. When Aithilo approached Fyr about this, Fyr came clean about Aithilo's true parentage: Sotha Sil. Raw over being lied to for such a long time, and for his child being targeted as a result, Aithilo withdrew himself, though he had acted to late, having already fathered a child and offered the mother support.

During the time of the Nerevarine, his daughter Setheso, Aithilo was completely tuned out to events. He had remained locked away throughout his daughter’s childhood, hardly interacting with her. He had taken to heavy “pain killer” potions and substances, and eventually lost his mind to an endless sleep. Because his inherited divinity was passed through blood, it was not “borrowed” power. Instead, Lorkhan now had a new vessel in which he could manifest himself if he could numb Aithilo enough from being self aware. With his heart being destroyed, Lorkhan attacked Aithilo while in his weakened state, and would have returned to Tamriel once more in flesh and blood if not for Fyr finally tracking down his son, thanks to a tip from Setheso, and defending Aithilo’s subconscious.

Aithilo recovered with time, regaining himself and finding peace in what and who he was. He strives to make peace with his daughter, and to serve Nirn in the best way he can, as an accidental demi-god of Lorkhan.

Little Facts:

>Aithilo doesn't eat vegetation, due to his religious beliefs, and this never changes. To this day in the fourth era he still only eats meat and refused to touch anything from the ground, trees, and such.

>He is massively freaked out by Fyr’s clones, and has a hard time visiting for longer than an hour.

>He regrets never meeting his birth father before Sil’s death, and went so far as to retrieve Sotha Sil’s helm from the Clockwork City, now kept safe in his vaults.

>When the Oblivion Crisis struck, Aithilo assisted in helping to drive back the gates in Cyrodil.

>I'll explain Sotha Sil and Dimwe’s relationship later, but there was no love in it, other than that of two close friends. Her and Fyr, however, is up for debate.

Artwork by the talented @zombbean

GO COMMISSION THEM

[vehk-and-vehk]

Epistle On The Worship Of Sotha Sil

A secret, to test your tongue against the flavor of my absent brother's tasking: The advances of mortal society are as a heartbeat that forgets its sound, are as the swiftest craft which trails its anchor yet thinks itself the wind. A single arrow will outpace in moments what an army may reach in a day, and there is wisdom to this which, for the sake of my affection for my kin, I shall not bury too deeply. What comes anew has come before, again and again.

Mystery, by virtue of the inscrutability of his nature, perpetuates the meat of his namesake in tranquil austerity, more content with solitude than with adulation; to adore him is to do so quietly and without great ceremony. Yet I do adore my brother, and though he has chosen the shape of an absent god, his worship must yet be fostered; such I shall perform for him, for he has lent me the mantle of the Teacher for too long, and I long to return to that of the Poet. 

My brother's audience is not like my own, personable and strung with familiarity as much as glory; stripped of the benevolence of my flames, the closeness of the breathing scripture I bestow with laughing hands stained dark with ink and borrowed secrets, the Clockwork King may be taken to be as bloodless as the vessels he births with fathomless intention. I can be entreatied, should the moods of the divine be in your favour, for my mercies have been known to bless the bold along with the impertinent, but it is vital not to mistake the amusement of one with the acceptance of another. My word stirs the ocean but a little, and the currents of each are their own.

My Love's rigours are matched only by my brother's patience, our gifts and our challenge to the dedicated, given to be proven deserved. Give your witness to the trust of our benevolence!

The Lord of Seas can allow for greater indulgence than even my sister, Ayem, should he be convinced of the pragmatism of your piety, though his nature is beyond the bounds of adoration's spectacle. To his worship are drawn the iconoclasts, the puzzle of this holy paradox the first of many to be picked open in his name; break yourself apart in the solving of your own imperfect code, only then to know yourself worthy. Flattery falls upon Seht's name as feathers upon bronze, without weight and without acknowledgement; he bears no patience for sycophancy. Come to your knees in unscripted devotion, for his rare favour is reserved for the seeker, the philomath, and no other. Yield your mind into the cold mechanisms of obsession, a sincere offering for his use alone, and know the ascetic burn of honest intellect.

Brass-bound hands may be implored to spread across your own and cancel out the indecision inherent in mortal action, interweaving effort and bone to guide the placement of precise and desired algorithm. Within the King's singing halls, the music of industry and of the forever-unsatisfied flow over the skin, deeper than tone, more immense than History.

The rhythms of its chambers dictate direction and motion in brutal elegance; the tutor instructs, and the student must obey. The Clockwork King beseeches his faithful to reveal themselves the anticipation of his pride, a worthwhile use of those secret fires tended even within the tidal blood of Mystery, and to that end it is expedient to cleave and yield to Wisdom's drowning with the utmost efficiency. The ways in which to fold oneself inwards and outwards are well-known, and of little worth describing here, though nonetheless there are certain Orders in my name to be found in the south, which house such instructors as is needed. To seek Mystery's illumination within its own darkness is to succumb with joy to the will of self-twinned sufficiency, Machine-Made-Holy, a depthless sea in which to be swallowed.

Sink gasping in the pressing darkness before and behind, bound throat and wrist to the weighted stone of mortal limitation. Pry apart jaws gritted tight upon the shreds of ignorance's comfort; a child's certainty grants no satisfaction as deep as the pain and glory of Knowledge. Know the guiding hands of the Self-Hewn God, Mystery-Without-End, the tide which feeds itself. Allow his waters to fill you, drown you, remake you as an emptied conduit of its progress. Succumb to the dispassionate violence of advancement, that driving force without rest or pity, and allow yourself to be shattered upon its teeth. Only then will the value of your devotion be measured against the rigours of Truth's sacred labours.

YIELD.

The Will informs what pressure you will strike upon the world.

YIELD.

The Teacher awaits with divided flesh, for the relentless proving of the worth you grant yourself.

YIELD.

Taste the bitter waters of Mystery and be claimed, a cycle of ecstatic suffering without end, the pleasured torment of the eternally curious.

YIELD.

The Lord of Seas takes sweetness in naught but the thrilling imminence of revelation, the small death of hypothesis.

YIELD.

Quicken in the rare warmth of such urgent delight.

YIELD.

Do not deny him his progress. It cannot be done.

YIELD.

What joy there may be in the profane made holy, in the beloved exhaustion of epiphany.

Speak my brother's names, and know the Inspiration of his aspects. It is only by the death of precedence that we may yet devise anew. Weigh for yourself the certainty of your obsessions, and mark your descent with clarity.

[chameleonspell]

176: grace

They had sailed all day, all night, and now dawn was breaking over their bows. Viatrix, upright in the stern, missed it. She had spent some time dozing, and some helping Blatta with the practicalities of the small fishing boat. Mostly, though, she had sat facing west, watching herself sail away from Vivec, further with every gust of wind that filled the sails, every wave that slapped against the hull. I have abandoned my faith. Vivec was my teacher. Have I learned nothing from my Lessons?

Mehra was sleeping close by, her eyelids swollen. She had done little but weep for most of the journey, locked inside a grief Viatrix had no key for. Where is my grief for the god I have betrayed? Am I so unfeeling that I would leave her holy city forever, without even one tear? Viatrix used male pronouns for Vivec with older Temple colleagues, who were likely to be scriptural hardliners, following a masculist tradition of interpreting the Thirty-Six Lessons. She used gender-neutral ones with most others, this being as close as she could get to the subtle and intricate network of pronouns used in the original Dunmeris. In the privacy of her own thoughts, however, Vivec was always feminine. She still believed she had done the right thing. Viatrix didn't do regret. She also lacked practice at doubt, but occasionally she allowed herself to doubt whether this was a virtue. Nevertheless: she did not doubt her decision. She only wondered at her own continued self-possession about it. In the wrenching instant when the Intervention spell had translated her body to Ebonheart, and her soul hung in elastic suspense, ready to follow, she'd felt something. A farewell, or perhaps a blessing. Warm, familiar, and imbued with love, like Vivec's eyes, during their one meeting, when she'd knelt on the cold Palace floor, all unworthiness. But, then as now, this love did not want her submission. It raised her to stand, lifted her chin to the horizon. And it was not only a shared love, now, but a shared pride in what she'd become. The way mothers felt, perhaps, when they saw their daughters married. There was no Grace of Obedience, she realised, suddenly. There was valour and daring, justice and courtesy, pride, generosity and humility, but no obedience. Not that you'd guess, from talking to anyone in the rigidly structured Temple hierarchy. Some days, she could hardly draw breath without being told: "it is forbidden". To Almsivi, of course, nothing was forbidden. Sotha Sil was beyond all restriction, having examined it, unravelled it, and discovered no use for it. Shielded in the bright raiment of divinity, Almalexia walked through fire and filth, emerging unscathed and unsullied. And Vivec... deceptive, impossible, glorious Vehk, gave themselves over to forbidden things and was crushed and cleaved and violated. And each time, they endured, and stole new secrets, and used them to rebuild themselves, each time stronger, each time more beautiful. Weeping and laughing and teaching us: yes, it will hurt. Yes, it will be worth it. "Vivec is a liar," a now-ex-friend had sneered, when she told them of her religious conversion. "Vivec is a poet," she had retorted. Later, after months of study, she would have to admit that her friend had been right. Vivec was a liar. And yet, however misleading and twisting Vehk's words, she found there was always truth in them, if not always on the surface. "My mouth is skilled at lying and its alibi a tooth." "This is a forbidden ritual," "This Sermon is forbidden." Forbidden by whom? Not by Vivec, not explicitly. "This Sermon is untrue." Then where is the truth? "The first meaning is always hidden." "Do as I say, but not as I do. It's all so convenient." Wherever did I get that last one from? It's quite incorrect... the opposite, in fact. Vivec is a liar, who teaches by example. The true lesson is: Do as I do, not as I say. What, then, has Vivec shown me? She stared blindly out to sea, nails scraping the gunwale, breath caught in her chest. It's not a prohibition, it's a test. To see who has truly learned their Lessons. The lessons of poetry, creativity and stealing power from those who seek to control you. Mehra was still sleeping, eyes ringed with sullen mauve. Viatrix gazed at her, filled with love and a brief flash of pitying derision. Then, laughing, she shook the little librarian awake and dragged her upright. "Look!" Viatrix cried, "look at the horizon! Do you know who stands there?" Mehra groaned and blinked against the morning sun, croaking nothing intelligible. "No one," Viatrix told her, "not yet. But it's where we are going, and Vivec has blessed our way. This is the proof of the new, Mehra, this is the promise of the wise!" Mehra could not bear the bright horizon, shielding her face, eyes filling with tears again. "My gods have taught me nothing but lies," she husked. "I can no longer follow where they lead." "We were never intended to follow, once we'd learned enough! We were always intended to lead ourselves, to explore our limits, and seize our destinies!" "I'm no leader." A sob. "I want to go back to the Library." "Grace through Troubles, Mehra. Faith is forged in the crucible of suffering. The Temple has stagnated, no wonder the Palace doors are closed in shame." She put her arm around Mehra's quivering shoulders. "It's going to be all right, I promise. We're going the right way. But if you need someone to follow for a while, you can follow me." "I dunno about that Temple stuff of yours," Julan called from the bows, "but you're wrong about one thing." He was leaning over the port side, hair streaming, squinting through the dawn glare at the distant humps of the mainland. He wouldn't see it, but Viatrix aimed a glare at him anyway. "What," she enquired icily, "am I wrong about?" "The horizon." "Excuse me?" Julan had clambered higher, and was now balancing on the gunwale, clinging precariously to a rope. "Someone is standing there." She considered explaining that it had been a quotation, a familiar metaphor to inspire Mehra, but curiosity overrode the impulse, and she hurried forwards to join him. At first she could see nothing, but in time, a figure emerged from the mist. It was colossally tall, yet graceful, its slender arms extended outwards. Obviously a statue of some kind, though she couldn't see who it represented. Mehra, appearing beside her, gave the answer. "Azura," she breathed, eyes shining with the first hope Viatrix had seen in them since her rescue. Above them, Julan's mouth had fallen open in awestruck wonder, and he looked like he might fall into the sea at any moment. When Mehra spoke, he glanced down at her and beamed. She smiled back. Viatrix restrained the impulse to knock Julan's legs out from under him. Viatrix understood the concept of the Anticipations on an intellectual level, but the Dunmer's appreciation for the Daedra was something she suspected she would never share. But Mehra's hip touched hers, so she stood and watched the statue pass by, placating herself with less obvious devotions, until Blatta called her to help turn the boat north. It would get worse, she realised, as she whipped a length of rope into taut coils. Her plan had been to head for the mainland, and lose themselves somewhere in the south, perhaps make the pilgrimage to Almalexia she had always wanted. But Mehra, between small sips of tea in Blatta's one good armchair, had whispered of a place called Holamayan, tucked away on a secluded island off the south-eastern coast of Vvardenfell. A secret hideaway for Temple dissidents, where she would be safe, and among friends. Desperate to comfort her, and under pressure from Julan, who adamantly refused to leave Vvardenfell, Viatrix had agreed. What she now overheard made her regret not standing her ground. Mehra was enthusing to Julan about the rumoured contents of the library at Holamayan. Although grateful the topic had finally returned some colour to the librarian's pale cheeks, Viatrix found it hard to share her joy. Holamayan was, she learned, a Temple of Azura, ostensibly linked to the Tribunal, but in reality, following far older traditions. Mehra might be among friends, but she wouldn't be. She would be a stranger again, a foreigner, a stuck up n'wah bitch. And not even her faith would be a shared point of contact, here, her devotion to Almsivi would be criticised, picked apart, dubbed naive and deluded. She glanced at Mehra, who was smiling and gazing out to sea. Julan said something to her with a smirk, and she laughed. Viatrix retired to the stern, fighting a sudden onslaught of tears for Vivec, which, it turned out, had only ever been lying in ambush. An hour or two before nightfall, they arrived at a small dock, hung with a single, golden-flamed lantern. "This it?" Blatta frowned at the map bearing Mehra's precise annotations from memory. "It better be, else we're lost in the damn Void." Mehra swallowed, and looked up at the craggy island. There were large, stone steps carved into the rock, winding several times around the summit, leading to the peak. At the top, camouflaged among the rocks, was something like an huge, stone seashell. "I think so," she said. "How in Oblivion d'you get inside?" asked Julan. He was right, the structure appeared completely sealed, without even a window. "Many of Azura's most sacred places observe rites of liminal boundary," said Mehra, and when this produced only blank stares, she added: "The doors only open at dawn and dusk." "Surely they will let us inside if we knock," protested Viatrix, but Mehra shook her head. "We must wait for the holy hour. Still, it will take some time to climb up there." She grimaced. "For my part, I hope I can make it by sunset. My legs are so weak, I may need to stop and rest, part-way." "Don't worry." Julan leapt onto the jetty, and offered her a hand out of the boat, oblivious to the look Viatrix gave him. "We'll give you all the help you need." "Thank you." Mehra gripped his arm, as she found her feet on the boards. "You really are quite different from most Ashlanders." She was smiling, intending a compliment, but, judging by his face, missed the mark. "You think?" he said, tone forcibly neutral. She blinked, confused. "I only meant--" "No, no. You're right." He replicated her smile, but with sharper edges. "Most Ashlanders are far nicer than I am." He didn't stop supporting Mehra by the arm, but his eyes were on the temple now, and he didn't resist, when Viatrix elbowed him aside, and took over. As Julan strode off towards the stone pathway, Mehra turned to Viatrix, eyes round. "Did I say something wrong?" "Never mind him," Viatrix told her. "He's quite insufferable. Really more of an acquaintance than a friend. I'm not sure why I even..." She shook her head, putting the thought aside, as she gazed up at the monastery. Ahead of them, Blatta was already following Julan. Mehra took a step forwards, but Viatrix didn't move. Pale fingers of tension were snaking through her limbs, and she could hardly feel Mehra's arm in hers. "Are you all right?" Mehra's soft, deep voice nudged gently at her ear. "Of course," she snapped - too harshly, she regretted it instantly, but Mehra didn't flinch, nothing but concern in the depths of her tawny eyes. "Are you sure?" She gave that smile, the one that felt like she was wrapping it around Viatrix's entire body, as if she'd spent her whole life crafting it for her, this smile that fitted every part of Viatrix so completely. Burn all my finery, let me wear nothing else for the rest of my days. She felt her mouth twitch. Stripped of her pride, she heard herself whisper: "I'm afraid..." "Afraid? Viatrix Petilia, who walked alone into the Ministry of Truth to rescue me, and only this morning claimed she was seeking her destiny, in the image of Lord Vivec? She's afraid?" "I'm afraid they won't like me, here." I'm afraid you'll never love me in the way that I love you, and I will never regret my choice if i live for a thousand years, but the fact I know it's worth it doesn't mean it won't still hurt. "How could anyone not like you?" Mehra laughed, and squeezed her arm. "And no matter what they think of you, please know that I shall always be your friend." She braced her smile against clenched teeth. Grace through Troubles, Viatrix. Sweeping her pride about her like a silk scarf, she set her foot on the first step of the mountain. next: 177: curses previous: 175: martyr beginning: 1: numb