#[ I need more of sandalphon interacting w the four tbh I wanna see uriel being the big bro or raph also there

[cxffexngel]

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@volfinas​ || is it curiosity? probably not; this is something she is aware of, has always been aware of, since long ago when they had all been in canaan unaware of everything " you miss him greatly, don't you? " she just believes it is something that should be talked about, the absence of lucifer and their hopes of one day seeing him again // from gabriel oaisjdioada

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       It’s not something he gets questioned about that often, but it certainly is in his memory from different bonds that the current supreme primarch has memory of enough to easily form an answer in his mind, first. Even when his eyes lower at a freshly brewed cup for the former water primarch. Gabriel being the most concurrent sight between the four of the other elemental archangels that visit sometimes the airship, check on Sandalphon despise he’s assured the others it’s alright and that they shouldn’t - But much like... him; they care, unconditionally in their ways. And he likes to think he’s gotten better at ignoring that bitter sting of guilt that comes with that acknowledgement, it’s as easy as to bite down his tongue and let the numb ache and cooper taste soothe him in a completely wrong way that he’s sure the Singularity or the Girl in blue would nag him about.

       And is not really that much of a kept secret, truly. From a pile of unsent letters he was taught that it was a good way to convey what his core wanted to say but unable to deliver when the recipient of those letters laid well beyond these skies and stars, to gazing upon pinkish clouds at sundown, searching for something and someone that has long since left this sky, to the large white plume Lyra had been gifted but she later gave to Sandalphon who keeps it in a delicate crystal display upon his room. Promises and next times, a revenge for a cruel and yet beautiful world that had no mercy for the one Sandalphon still feel greatly has wronged Lucifer. And yet, he swore to see it through everything, ‘til the very end so he can have a lot to talk to once it’s time to visit that faraway place. ‘‘ ...Yes. ‘‘ Finally, he finds his voice. It’s low, a bit distant and with sorrows he hardly shares about. Talking to the primarchs it’s both reassuring as it’s a mystery to him. They have long forgiven him and yet there’s still pieces of his core that don’t understand why they care – but much like how he wonders why the Girl in blue and the Singularity’s own forgiveness, Sandalphon just deals with it. ‘‘ He deserved more than just a legacy. He... deep down, wanted to do what you all have chosen to, and settle. ‘‘ and yet here he is in his place. The very thing Sandalphon didn’t want to happen his own personal nightmare and blessing. The weight of so many wings and promises he feels he can carry, and some days crush his bones bit by bits - all when he wished that he could finally give the former Supreme primarch that little wish he had weakly whispered, when all he could answer was poison and angry bile when meet with the awful reality of his own actions.

        He misses him, more than anyone - the selfish part of his says in a low voice within the depths of his mind but goes unsaid, his core cries with the loss as his sleep is riddled in nightmares each time he dares close his eyes by night, he misses him so much sometimes the most the archangel can do is will his white wings away and stare at nowhere in particular until the voices of someone else can finally take his focus somewhere else before letting his mind wander too far. Calloused hands etched with cuts and scars, newer ones from mundane accidents as paper cuts healing to the duller ones from bites, scratches and holding a heavy claymore’s handle too hard cradling the cup Gabriel had asked for to settle it before her with great care, not a sound meeting his ears when it meets the porcelain, golden rimmed plate it matches with, and with the tip of his fingers slides the order towards her. ‘‘ He’d be sad seeing me like this, wouldn’t he? ‘‘ Adds, a little tinge of bitterness there but amusement too, an attempt of a jest where he knows some truth lies. He’s never asked how it was for Lucifer bonding with the others, he hasn’t tried much beyond when they invite themselves over, and there’s enough time between battles he’s called forth to when he opens the kitchen and serves others. ‘‘ I don’t ask for pity though, it’s my fault that all lead to this, after all. It’s my burden to bear and I promised to live this through all - maybe go hours talking about what I’ve seen and experienced from what he couldn’t. That’s... Something I can do. ‘‘