#[ michael was evil for not coming w gabriel!!!!!

[theriddlersunderwear]

MORE QUOTES

Lucifer: “Sam, it's me. The Devil. I'm here to convince you to do sin. Come with me, steal candy from babies and small businesses.”

Sam: “I will never do such a thing! I'll sin my own way!”

Lucifer: “OK bye.”

(Explosion)

Sam: “OKAY I'LL SIN I'LL SIN–”

---

Ketch: “New idea: adultery.”

---

Dean: “I need to update my audio equipment.” (Cocks gun) “I have updated my audio equipment.”

---

Lucifer: “I'm about to become the one thing more powerful than Jesus Christ. The President of the United States!”

---

Gabriel: (solemnly) “He thinks I'm a… pervert now.”

---

Crowley: “Good job, you've earned 16 sin points.”

---

Chuck: “Aye, bing bong. You're doing a bad job.”

Sam: “I know I'm doing a bad job!”

---

Metatron: “I am a gamer and I am in Hell.”

---

Benny: “The ultimate evil.”

Dean: “Gambling.”

---

Gabriel: (appearing out of nowhere) “Ding-a-ling cocksucker.”

---

Amara: “You know what? Fuck you, you're going to space.”

---

Crowley: (to Dean) “Do you know what a logistic issue it is when you destroy Hell? THAT'S MY HOUSE.”

---

Gabriel: “AND SHE HAD A DIAMOND IN HER VAGINA?!”

---

Belphegor: “I can't believe your tits are one polygon.”

---

Michael: (about Adam) “Now I can carry around my boyfriend wherever I want.”

---

Jack: “Whattya know… three. That's how old I am.”

---

Sam: “Dad, I have something to tell you.”

Bobby: “What is it sweet angel, darling eh– butter biscuit, honeysuckle, love of my life, noodle… spaghetti (wheeze) sauce?”

---

Belphegor: “I've ate nothing but drywall the past three years.”

---

Lucifer: “There's a lot of sin in this w– is that an alien?”

---

Lucifer: “Hi Sammy… it's me…. The Devil. I looooveee youuuu… I'm having so much fun with youuuu…”

Sam: “Thank you?”

---

Nick: “I can die happy tomorrow!”

Mary: “T-tomorrow?”

---

Dean: “You're an asshole, man.”

Crowley: “You are what you eat, Squirrel.”

Dean: “WHAT.”

---

Michael: “PSYCHIC. ATTACK. FUCK YOU.”

---

John: “WHAT? YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FUCK MY WIFE! KETCH. KETCH COME BACK. WHAT THE FU–”

---

Chuck: (to Metatron) “Where are you going you cucker?”

---

Castiel: (calling Jody) “911 I've been atta–HUUGHDDD”

---

Gabriel: “You over there–shut up! And you over there–take off my pants!”

---

Jack: “I have a question for you. If I gave Dean 15 apples, and Sam gave Dean another 16, and Sunny took away 3… my question is, what is the total mass of the sun?”

[doe-eyed-fool]

Fear Of The Known

Lucifer x Fem!Angel!Reader

|Chapter Twelve|

"You're serious?" Michael asks, still in shock by the news Y/n just gave him. Y/n nods her head. "I'm just as surprised as you are, but...Maybe this will do some good. At least now I won't feel like I'm being kept in the dark about certain decisions."

"Well...I can't say I didn't see this coming." Said Michael. "You are a very important figure in Heaven. Everyone looks to you for what the future will bring. I guess it only makes sense for Father to do this."

Before Y/n had left after speaking with God, after delivering news of a war on the horizon, and thankfully altering the future, God had proposed an offer to her.

'You want me to...what?' Y/n asks in disbelief.

'I wish for you to join my council. You will be present for most meetings, alongside my most trusted Angels. I believe it will be best to have you here, given it being such a...sensitive time. Adam is gone, and now one of Hell's Overlords have access to angelic weaponry.'

Y/n still couldn't believe this. Very few were apart of God's council, as he said, only his most trusted Angels stood by his side. And now, she had the opportunity to become of those Angels.

'What we choose to do next, will entirely depend on what the future holds. You could be there to guide us to the right path, and keep Heaven safe and untouched by evil. Do you accept this offer?'

Y/n never thought she would be given a chance like this. Yes, her future vision set her apart from many Angels. But she was still beneath so many Angels who held power of their own.

Now, she had the chance to join their side.

And so, graciously, she accepted.

"I guess we'll be seeing a lot more of each other from now on." Y/n smiles. Michael chuckles. "As if we don't already?"

"Only this time, it will be in a more professional setting." Y/n adds. "To think I'd be along side the best. And the most powerful...Hah. I already feel out of place, and I haven't even been to single meeting yet."

Michael places a hand on her shoulder. "You have nothing to worry about. You know those Angels as well as I do. We all view you with the same respect you view us with."

"Though none of them panic whenever they're around me. Unlike me, around them. You're the only one who I've ever felt comfortable with." Y/n tells him. Michael's smile soften, his heart flutters ever so slightly. He tries not to pay it any mind. "Oh? Not even Cassius?"

Y/n rolls her eyes playfully. "Well, no, Cassius is fine."

"Or Leroy?" Michael asks.

"Leroy is fine too." Y/n laughs. "See, that's two already." Michael says with a shrug.

"Yes, but I really mean Joel and Gabriel. Then of course, Leo. They're all so serious. And Azrael is...Azrael."

Michael laughs. “He is, isn’t he?” His laughter dies down as he places his hand on Y/n’s gently. “As intimidating as this all might be, I know you will do just fine. If father believed you could not handle such an important promotion, he would not have given it to you. And of course, I will be there with you too.”

Y/n smiles warmly. “Thank you Michael.”

“Now.” Michael starts. “I’ll be sure to wake you up early for the meeting tomorrow morning.”

“Tomorrow morning!?” Y/n gasps. “So soon!? Oh my goodness, I-I didn’t think-”

“Y/n, Y/n, calm down.” Michael chuckles. “It’s alright. It’s nothing huge, just a simple meeting about what’s to be done with the former exorcist angels.”

“I’m sorry.” Y/n sighs. “The exorcist angels…There was so many of them. What will they do now?” She asks. Michael shrugs. “That’s yet to be decided. Just try to relax. Everything will be fine.”

Everything will be fine. That's what Y/n had to keep reminding herself, that everything would be fine. With every step closer to the meeting, her anxiety spiked. But everything will be fine.

At least the people she'd be in that room with would not be total strangers. Some of them more intimidating than others, even if not intentionally. But still, familiar faces nonetheless.

And Michael would be there. That alone made the walk there slightly less nerve wracking.

Y/n slowed to a stop when she came across the two large double doors, on the other side, she could hear the faintest of voices conversing amongst each other.

She inhaled, smoothed out her dress, and opened the doors. Everyone's eyes were on her as soon as she stepped in. Y/n felt as if she would faint right then, the only thing keeping her composure was Michael and the God's temporary absence in the room.

Still, Y/n made herself look presentable and respectful of the angels before her. "Good morning everyone. How are you all today?" She asks with a kind smile.

Michael opened his mouth to speak first, but someone else beat him to it.

"Hi, Y/n! It's been ages since we last talked!" Cassius. They stood from their chair and walked towards Y/n, and taking her hands in theirs. "When I heard you were going to joining father's council, I almost couldn't believe it! Well, almost couldn't believe that you weren't invited sooner. You do play a pretty important part around here."

"Yeah, seriously. Pretty sure Heaven would have more than a few problems if not for your guidance." Leroy says.

"What matters is, she's here now." Said Michael. "And because of that, Heaven's future will be heading on the right path."

Y/n's smile became a bit more genuine. "I'll be sure to do my best."

"You better, otherwise we're all done for." Azrael teases, which earned a sharp look from Leo. "Enough, Azrael." He says firmly.

"Ah, lighten up Leo, I'm just playing around." Azrael leans back in his seat. "We all know she can handle it. I mean, she wouldn't have gotten this far if she were utterly useless right?"

"Azrael." Leo warns, but Azrael just laughs it off. "Come on, Y/n knows I have faith in her. Right?"

Y/n shifts awkwardly. "I hope so." She laughs lightly.

"Pay him no mind, Y/n." Gabriel spoke up. "You are here for a reason. Father believes you can better guide Heaven alongside us. Your gift of the seeing the future is special, it's important. You are important, to all of us, and to the countless souls of Heaven."

"Thank you, Gabriel. That means a lot." Y/n says with a warm smile.

Just then, the doors opened again, and in walked God with Galim at his side. Everyone became quiet as they stood from the seats as God entered further into the room. He took his place at the head of the table before speaking.

"Good morning everyone. I hope all of you are doing well. Let's get this meeting started, shall we?" He spoke. Everyone nods before seating.

There was a slight stretch of silence before God spoke again. "Now....What was the meeting about again?"

Galim, along with a few others sighed in defeat and slight annoyance. Did...Did he actually forget? Y/n watches in silence.

"The exorcist angels, your Heavenly Grace. We are to discuss what must be done with them." Galim tells God.

"Oh! That's right!" God chuckles. "Well, how about you take it from here then? I feel as if I need to be caught up again as well."

Galim nods before clearing their throat. "As you all know, there has been an army of exorcist angels that had been kept secret from Heaven for many years. An army only few knew about. Those being, the late first man Adam, his lieutenant Lute, and the head Seraphim Sera." They continue.

"The proposal was first discussed with Lucifer Morningstar. Once agreed by both him and Sera, Adam was given the ok to raise an army of exorcists, that would once every year, portal to Hell and slaughter it's inhabitants. All in hopes to keep Hell's population controlled."

"As of recent events, the council has decided to put an end to the exterminations along with the army. We have lost many souls to the exterminations, even if they were exorcists. Adam was among those souls." Galim looks to Y/n.

"And with the trusted guidance of Y/n, it was fated that any further exterminations would prove to lead to a terrible future for Heaven and it's people."

Y/n stiffened at the mention of her name, but she kept herself composed as Galim continues.

"Now, we must decide what is to be done with what remains of the exorcists."

"Very good Galim!" God claps. Galim awkwardly smiles.

Michael is the first to speak. "The exorcists won't fit into society so easily. Their whole lives, they had been trained to kill. Aggression and violence is all they know."

"Then what do you suppose we do? Lock them all away? There's hundreds of them." Said Gabriel.

"We could always have them banished to Hell." Said Azrael. "After all, they did go against Heaven by keeping their bloodshed a secret."

"Them, and Sera." Said Joel. "If Sera were not such an important figure, banishment would be a fitting punishment."

"Of course, that would spark panic amongst the civilians." Leo sighed. "There is nothing we could say to explain just why the head Seraphim was casted out of Heaven. Sera would be gone forever, regardless of what we say. And people will become suspicious. And their suspicions will lead to fear if they ever knew the truth."

"I believe we should try and give those exorcist a chance." Cassius speaks next. "One last chance to prove their souls are worth saving."

Y/n listened as they converse among themselves, she was unsure of when she should speak. But also, she was somewhat captivated by the council in action like this.

God took note of her silence, he raised his hand, and everyone quickly became silent. "Y/n? What do you propose we do?"

Y/n froze. What should she say? She didn't want those angels to be banished. She didn't want Sera to be banished either. But could they adapt to a new way of life? Would they even consider it?

"I...I do not particularly favor the idea of banishment." Y/n spoke truthfully. "However, I am unsure of what their reactions will be to fitting in with Heaven's society. Their violent tendencies, their bloodlust, all of it must disappear if they are to join within civilization. And I don't know how easy that will be for them or if they will even like the idea." She took a minute to think.

"I suppose I can look into the future for an answer." She suggests. God nods his head. "If you must."

Y/n closes her eyes, the path of the near future open ahead. In the future, she saw some of the angels agreeing to leave their life of bloodshed behind. But most...most will not comply. Which will lead to one of two things.

The angels who will not give up their old habits will spend eternity locked away from the rest of Heaven. Or...

Banishment. They will all be casted out of Heaven, and never return to Heaven's light.

Then she saw Lute. Y/n looked further to see what might become of her. Adam's death took a heavy toll on her, surely, she would choose to stick with what she has always known. Murdering demons.

However. That is not what Y/n saw for her future. Instead, Y/n saw Lute complying along with the few angels. Choosing a life in Heaven, free from the bloodshed.

Y/n opened her eyes, brows furrowed in confusion. It was that easy? Lute would go along with it just like that? Even after witnessing Adam's death at the hands of the very creatures she hates?

It was that easy?

"Y/n?" God spoke.

Y/n looked up. "U-Um." She cleared her throat. "Very few will agree to live freely with the other civilians of Heaven. Most must be locked away or banished. However, it is up to us to decide which it will be."

"Thank you, Y/n." God says before turning his attention back to the rest of the council. Y/n barely paid any attention throughout the remainder of the meeting.

She was too busy thinking about Lute, and the odd feeling she got whenever she looked into her future...

Suddenly the doors to the meeting room burst open. Shocked, everyone looked towards the entrance, and saw a frantic angel who panted every breath.

"Your heavenly grace!" The angel began. "I have urgent news from the head Seraphim!"

God narrows his eyes, but nods his head. "Go on." He tells the angel. They sucked in a lung full of air before delivering the news.

"A sinner has passed divine judgement and entered Heaven!"

Tags-

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@annybah

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[lifefcrged]

Additional side blogs here atm are; @ambitionfcrged @nomadfcrged @balladfcrged @faithfcrged their blurbs can be found under the cut so you can see if you want to follow / write with them! They are all open to plotting and scheming if anyone would like to interact w/ them lmk !! additional info for melody & dante can now be found on their blogs as well under BIO. tag!

also, now, we have amos burton, from the expanse, @factiousfcrged - no blurb atm, he's open for any crossover or au or other verses.

WILLIAM; fc adam dr*ver. mutant / superhuman.

Mutant / super human OC w/ electrokinesis; the ability to control & manipulate electricity from the minute amounts in organic cells to lightning strikes. He also has an abnormally long lifespan and decreased aging. He is a willing recruit to HYDRA or whatever compatible evil power hungry group exists in any particular fandom; Vought, Brotherhood of Mutants, the Sith, the Empire, whatever organization he feels will gain him the most power, protection and prestige. He is a sadomasochist, he craves power above anything else and will do whatever he wants, whatever he thinks he has to, to get it. He is not a nice guy. He is not redeemable. Any emotions he has that might be construed as love or affection by outside parties are only mimicries of those - he may even think that he loves someone (he's pansexual) but it's only in a way that serves him, only if they please him, only if whatever they're doing and how they live in some way contributes to helping him. He is controlling and obsessive. He is calculating and vindictive. He is not going to change his ways for anyone other than maybe on some surface level because he thinks it'll help him get further with them / their cause if that will help him in some way.

MELODY; fc elizabeth ols*n. tog immortal.

The Old Guard oc. Teaches music at elementary, high school and secondary education levels as well as private lessons. Plays piano and violin. Brand new baby immortal. Makes a minor splash in news for being the sole survivor of a subway derailment; found in the rubble not only alive, but unscathed. More to come.

ARMAN; fc rahul k*hli. mortal.

DOMINION original character. Saved from the pack of eight balls that killed his parents, as a child, a few short months after the end of the world, by the Archangel Gabriel. Given into the care of a higher Angel who was loyal to Gabriel inside the sanctuary city of Vega to be kept safe. After the massacre of High Angels and Michael’s attack on the guards & senator of Vega, he evacuated from the city to travel to find Gabriel to pledge his service and to try and find a way to bring hope back to the Angel who was once the most staunch defender of humanity.

DANTE; fc oscar is*ac. mortal. (maybe? undecided)

Ex US Army member. Discharged after he confronted his CO about an order he considered unlawful bc it would endanger civilians; not willing to risk the heat of bad PR fallout, military simply discharged him. Parents died when he was in his early twenties. His younger sister lives with their aunt in a yet tbd foreign country. He spent some time in a private mercenary unit; did not work out and he has since being primarily nomadic, hopping from city to city doing odd jobs like security, bodyguard, bouncer, bartender, etc for whether he can get decent pay under the table. Has a habit of landing in trouble bc he doesn’t like seeing people pushed around.

[cxffexngel]

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@volfinas​ || is it curiosity? probably not; this is something she is aware of, has always been aware of, since long ago when they had all been in canaan unaware of everything " you miss him greatly, don't you? " she just believes it is something that should be talked about, the absence of lucifer and their hopes of one day seeing him again // from gabriel oaisjdioada

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       It’s not something he gets questioned about that often, but it certainly is in his memory from different bonds that the current supreme primarch has memory of enough to easily form an answer in his mind, first. Even when his eyes lower at a freshly brewed cup for the former water primarch. Gabriel being the most concurrent sight between the four of the other elemental archangels that visit sometimes the airship, check on Sandalphon despise he’s assured the others it’s alright and that they shouldn’t - But much like... him; they care, unconditionally in their ways. And he likes to think he’s gotten better at ignoring that bitter sting of guilt that comes with that acknowledgement, it’s as easy as to bite down his tongue and let the numb ache and cooper taste soothe him in a completely wrong way that he’s sure the Singularity or the Girl in blue would nag him about.

       And is not really that much of a kept secret, truly. From a pile of unsent letters he was taught that it was a good way to convey what his core wanted to say but unable to deliver when the recipient of those letters laid well beyond these skies and stars, to gazing upon pinkish clouds at sundown, searching for something and someone that has long since left this sky, to the large white plume Lyra had been gifted but she later gave to Sandalphon who keeps it in a delicate crystal display upon his room. Promises and next times, a revenge for a cruel and yet beautiful world that had no mercy for the one Sandalphon still feel greatly has wronged Lucifer. And yet, he swore to see it through everything, ‘til the very end so he can have a lot to talk to once it’s time to visit that faraway place. ‘‘ ...Yes. ‘‘ Finally, he finds his voice. It’s low, a bit distant and with sorrows he hardly shares about. Talking to the primarchs it’s both reassuring as it’s a mystery to him. They have long forgiven him and yet there’s still pieces of his core that don’t understand why they care – but much like how he wonders why the Girl in blue and the Singularity’s own forgiveness, Sandalphon just deals with it. ‘‘ He deserved more than just a legacy. He... deep down, wanted to do what you all have chosen to, and settle. ‘‘ and yet here he is in his place. The very thing Sandalphon didn’t want to happen his own personal nightmare and blessing. The weight of so many wings and promises he feels he can carry, and some days crush his bones bit by bits - all when he wished that he could finally give the former Supreme primarch that little wish he had weakly whispered, when all he could answer was poison and angry bile when meet with the awful reality of his own actions.

        He misses him, more than anyone - the selfish part of his says in a low voice within the depths of his mind but goes unsaid, his core cries with the loss as his sleep is riddled in nightmares each time he dares close his eyes by night, he misses him so much sometimes the most the archangel can do is will his white wings away and stare at nowhere in particular until the voices of someone else can finally take his focus somewhere else before letting his mind wander too far. Calloused hands etched with cuts and scars, newer ones from mundane accidents as paper cuts healing to the duller ones from bites, scratches and holding a heavy claymore’s handle too hard cradling the cup Gabriel had asked for to settle it before her with great care, not a sound meeting his ears when it meets the porcelain, golden rimmed plate it matches with, and with the tip of his fingers slides the order towards her. ‘‘ He’d be sad seeing me like this, wouldn’t he? ‘‘ Adds, a little tinge of bitterness there but amusement too, an attempt of a jest where he knows some truth lies. He’s never asked how it was for Lucifer bonding with the others, he hasn’t tried much beyond when they invite themselves over, and there’s enough time between battles he’s called forth to when he opens the kitchen and serves others. ‘‘ I don’t ask for pity though, it’s my fault that all lead to this, after all. It’s my burden to bear and I promised to live this through all - maybe go hours talking about what I’ve seen and experienced from what he couldn’t. That’s... Something I can do. ‘‘

[sidecarghost]

Kripke: Family (as a source of trauma)

Sam and Dean’s brotherhood and the dichotomy of loving your brother while also disagreeing with him on almost everything at a fundamental level.

Azazel fostering a group of special children to serve in his holy war, and John raising Sam and Dean as soldiers for his holy war.

Filial piety taken to the extreme where any agency is given up. Meg’s blind faith in Azazel and then Lucifer, and Michael’s blind faith in following through with God’s plan for the end.

John Winchester’s legacy of hate and revenge being passed down to his children, Sam and Dean.

Dean, Cas, and Micheal and the consequences of absentee fathers and their sons hopelessly trying to gain approval from them.

Found family that helps emotionally support each other with team free will Sam, Dean, Bobby, and Cas vs the toxicity of the family you are born to. Similar parallel to fate vs free will.

Gamble: Identity (roles we assume vs our authentic self)

Souls as the fundamental particle that establishes our internal compass, but also capable of being lost or weaponized.

Assuming a role at the cost of being authentic:

Dean and Lisa where Dean tries to be a better father to Ben than John was to him

Cas as God where Cas tries to be a better God than the father he never met

Sam as soulless where Sam tries to be a better hunter than John, Dean, or the Campbells ever had been

And Leviathan becoming better capitalists than humans (authentic chameleons that live their best life by assuming whatever form let’s them be the most effective predator)

Carver: Oppression (being a hero to some makes you a villain to everyone else & the only force strong enough to cure oppression is love or total annihilation of the oppressors)

Abuse of power at all levels: Hell, Heaven, Earth

Monsters are shown to be morally complex and an oppressed population

The MoL is a defunct organization of humans that oppressed monsters.

Sam and Dean as the inheritors of the MoL legacy of oppression. They are never redeemed and carry on killing monsters until the end of the series.

Cain saves his brother Abel from damnation, but the cost doomed millions. His only escape was conquering the mark because of the love of one woman.

Naomi overriding the free will of angels by reprogramming them to keep them kowtowed to her agenda for heaven. Cas is able to conquer Naomi’s reprogramming because of the love of one man.

Metatron ejects the angels of Heaven forcing them to live among the people heaven has oppressed in the name of God. The show frames Metatron as a hero and a villain because good and evil can be subjective.

Rowena as the narcissistic mother that sees Crowley as a failure because of her own failings, and attempts to emotionally manipulate and influence his role as king of hell. Eventually Rowena is redeemed by developing genuine love for her son and team free will.

Styne family as a dynasty of white supremacists trying to make a race of superior humans. Their reign of oppression ends with their annihilation by Dean.

Sam clings to faith and hope in a righteous God even though he has suffered his whole life. Sam’s relationship to faith is never resolved through the end of the series.

Light oppressing the Darkness. God’s only sister was kept entombed by her only brother. Love for each other was the only force strong enough to stop their suffering.

Dabb: Fuck if I know???? (Cw: racism, suicide ideation, rape, incest) Dabb era is the most racist era of a very racist show. Other eras were problematic, but at least they attempted to tell a story based on an interesting theme. I cannot, for the life of me, come up with a theme for Dabb that the season wide plots feed into (calling it plot is a misnomer because there really is none in s12-s15, that shit cannot be consumed serially).

Destiel is shamelessly queerbaited, because Dabb has found that the queer and queer ally portion of fandom responds favorably to these crumbs.

BMoL as oppressive but now also British, and a new bunch of white people are added to the cast, because in the Spn universe Britain is solely populated by white people.

Lucifer keeps appearing to antagonize the protagonists, even though his relevance as a legitimate antagonist ended 7+ seasons ago.

Lucifer rapes a woman by posing as her lover. This results in the birth of the Messiah and death of the woman. No one ever seeks justice for Kelly, instead they endlessly obsess over her fetus.

The actor cast as Jack, the Messiah, is yet another white person in a cast full of white people.

Alternate universes are found that are like the main universe but way more boring.

Crowley is killed because Dabb is out of ideas for the character.

Sam and Dean are only interested in finding a way back to the apocalypse universe because their mom got stuck there. They express no desire to find a way back to help the universe where humans are being exterminated. They have completely given up on altruism and are living it up as privileged white people in their bunker mansion.

Black archangel Michael is villainized and loses any of the moral complexity that white archangel Michael exhibits.

Kevin Tran (one of the few recurring PoC), reappears in the Apocalypse universe just to blow himself up as a suicide bomber.

Archangel Gabriel was being kept imprisoned by Colonel Sanders who moonlights as a prince of hell. Does any of this mini arc impact the overall narrative? No. Just more white men added to the story because Dabb can’t figure out where to take the franchise.

Mary Winchester is fridged, yet again, by another yellow eyed supernatural being, so a singular family member can go into a vindictive rage about it.

Canon bisexual God is villainized. I would say for plot reasons, but I have yet to discover anything in s15 resembling a plot.

Main universe Kevin Tran (who sacrificed everything to devote his short life to helping Sam and Dean) reveals that God sent him to Hell all those years ago. Kevin is then doomed to wander Earth as a ghost until he goes insane. At which point, white guy Sam is probably going to kill him sending him back to suffer for eternity in Hell.

Billie, a black woman, becomes Death, a primordial entity and a stronger force than God (will reap God in the end). She is villainized and killed by white men for being committed to keeping the universe in balance and adhering to the natural order. No one seeks justice for her.

W*ncest is shamelessly baited because Dabb has found the portion of fandom that prefers bros as soulmates responds favorably to these crumbs.

Romanticizing suicide in a meta attempt to inform viewers that this show has lived past its useful shelf life and keeping it alive is a punishment to be endured.

Spn Prequel: ??? Not to jinx the prequel but at least it should not be worse than Dabb era.

[vxmorpheus]

The Crossroads to the beginning. P1

Tw - blood, and mentions of miscarriages

LONG post

"I... just don't think we can do this anymore, Eli. We can't just keep pretending nothing's happened," Michael spoke solemnly as he packed his clothes into his suitcase.

Eli stood by the door, fighting tears back, "you don't have to leave though! We can work things out, maybe-"

"No! ... no, Eli. We've tried working this out for 5 years, but you keep miscarrying! I-"

"Excuse me?! Are you blaming this on me?! It's not like I'm fucking trying to! I want a child just as bad as you do!"

He shouted back, "well it sure as hell doesn't seem like you want a kid!"

"So, you're saying I'm doing this on purpose?!"

"Yes! I don't think you ever wanted one in the first fucking pla-"

Eli slapped Michael hard. Hard enough that it jerked his head to the left, "get. Out."

He put his hand on his face, "Eli, I-"

"GET. OUT. GET OUT RIGHT NOW! LEAVE!" Eli screamed out. Michael jumped in surprise, then scrambled to close his suitcase and left quickly. Eli followed him to the door, slamming it shut behind him. She put her back against the door and slid down until she was sitting on the floor with her face in her hands. She sobbed into her hands before bringing her legs up, hugging them to herself for comfort. Eli didn't know how long she sat there crying, but by the time she got up, it was nighttime. She set a kettle onto the stovetop and walked to the window, looking out on the city... it felt much more empty and quiet now with Michael gone. "What am I going to do...? How am I going to pay rent...? I can't work..." the kettle cut off her ramblings to herself. She poured some of the hot water into a mug and put a teabag into it. Eli made her way to bed, walking by the spare bedroom that was meant for Michael and her baby... that was never to come. When she stood in the doorway of their bedroom, she stared at the empty king bed for a long time before turning around and going to the couch. She couldn't bear to sleep in that bed all alone.

Over the next couple of months, she and Michael got divorced. Which was easier than expected given there was no child to fight for custody of. She had also found out that he had actually been cheating on her for 3 months before he left her. She was pissed, not at the other woman, but rather at him. He was a coward. He was a liar. He never stood by Eli's side after each miscarriage. She was always left to heal by herself, to take care of herself even when she wasn't supposed to be walking and bending. She resented and hated Michael, she was actually happy she never had a kid with him... but she still wanted a child.

The money she saved and the money she got from the divorce helped her pay rent for some months while trying to figure out what she would do for income. One night, she was binge-watching a show with paranormal/supernatural themes and one of the characters went to a crossroads and summoned a demon then made a deal to save another character that was in a coma. Eli sat up slowly and thought, "if... maybe... I can do that... and make a deal for a job..." she grabbed her laptop and changed the channel to something else. She began doing research into crossroad demons, she had heard of them before but only for famous people. While she did research, the news played a recap of the election results... "Gabriel Kenward is the confirmed winner for governor. He and his wife are goi..." Eli zoned the tv out while reading steps on how to go about summoning a crossroads demon. She read up on every single website she could handle, even the ones making fun of people for looking or trying to summon a demon. Her eyelids felt heavy as she was reading a website specifically made for the supernatural practices, she could only read two paragraphs before she passed out on the couch. She felt herself falling in her dream, making her jerk awake. Eli sighed, annoyed, and got up, setting the laptop onto the coffee table. She walked around the couch to the kitchen to get some water, but... something felt off. She paused at her refrigerator and looked around. Everything looked normal but the air felt different for some reason. Eli shook her head and grabbed a glass, putting it in the water dispenser on her fridge. There was a pause... then liquid poured it into her glass before she yanked it away. Eli stared in horror at her fridge before looking at the glass, which had blood in it.

"You going to drink that?" A voice behind her asked humorously. Eli whipped around to see... something... sitting on the kitchen island. It was like her brain couldn't understand what she was looking at. "Didn't your mom tell you staring is rude?"

"I-I... wh...what are you?"

"What you're looking for," it took the cup from her and downed the blood, making Eli shudder in disgust.

"W-What do you mean?"

"Oh please, dear, you can't be that stupid."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I'm a demon, idiot."

"I am not an idiot! How the fuck did you get into my house?"

"Hah! I'm not inside your house. Well, not in the traditional sense. I'm in your dream. This is a dream, sweetheart."

"Don't fucking call me sweetheart. What do you want."

"Ooh feisty, I like that. It's not what I want, it's what you want," it jumped off the island counter.

"You are not what I'm wanting to summon."

"Yes, yes, I know. But, I can tell you how to properly summon a crossroads demon. Just be sure to mention me to him, hm?"

"What else do you want?" Eli snapped back.

It held its hands up, "oh, my dear, nothing. I just want to be mentioned. Might get me a promotion."

"... a promotion...? What the fuck? What does that mean?"

"It doesn't matter, just listen..." it leaned into her and whispered.

Eli sat up quickly, the sun shining into the living room and her phone blaring loudly to inform her that her friend was calling. She picked up the phone and talked to her friend for a bit before agreeing to meet up at a cafe. She quickly got ready and called a taxi, thinking about her dream the entire time. By the time she was snapped out of her thought, her friend was shaking her arm. Eli looked at her friend surprised, "what?"

Her friend gave her a concerned look, "how are you holding up? You're really out of it today." She took a sip of her coffee, "like... what's goin' in your brain right now?"

"What would you want if you made a deal with a crossroads demon?"

"Oh, you finally got to that episode? Hmm... money or fame. What about you?"

"To be in good health and have a fun and fulfilling career..."

"Huh, don't you want a kid still? I thought you'd ask for something like that," she froze for a second. "Sorry, that came out wrong. I-"

"No, no... you're right... I never thought of that..." Eli sat back in her chair and idly sipped at her frappe.

"Uh... anyway... h..."

Eli had zoned out for the rest of the day until night fell. She gathered everything she needed to summon this... demon... The idea of summoning a demon made adrenaline pump through her body. She wasn't sure if it was fear or excitement... or maybe both? Eli put everything in a bag and grabbed a butcher's knife before heading out. She looked at her cellphone GPS where she marked down a crossroads that was relatively outside of town and away from busy streets. Eli shoved the butcher's knife into her bag when the taxi drove up to her. Eli showed the man where she wanted to go and he gave her a weird look that said 'ok but why?' He took her to where she said and asked her as she was walking into the dark, "are you ok lady? Are you sure this is where you wanted?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Leave," he quickly left as Eli made her way crossroads. She opened a box she brought. "Ok... to do this successfully..." She took out the knife and took a deep breath before cutting her thumb a bit, smearing the blood onto her own photo and onto the white yarrow flowers. Eli closed the big and dug a hole, burying the box in the crossroads.

Nothing happened for a bit, making her the slightest bit embarrassed, but her body got the chills like something was behind her. Eli was the type to hate being scared in such a manner, so, not caring that this was probably a demon, she spoke, "I swear to fucking God, if I turn around and you are right behind me, I will not hesitate to punch you." She heard a quiet chortle and then some steps backing away from her. Eli was prepared to see something monstrous and scary, but... this guy was... normal looking? It looked just like a man in a nice suit with silvery-white hair.

"You actually did this in a proper way... so I guess I can't trick you too much... how may I be of service, love?" His eyes flashed red for a moment and he gave a sharp-toothed grin as he leaned back into a tree.

"Love? Did you just call me love?" The demon nodded, "don't fucking call me that, you mean nothing to me. You are only a means to an end."

"Oh my, so rude to somebody who's just tryin' to help," he looked slightly taken aback by her blatant honesty but tried to keep a straight and cool face. "Who told you how to do the summoning correctly? It's a rare treat."

"I don't fucking remember its name. It was a demon that came into my dream and told me to do it this way."

"Ohhh, my friend... well... I guess I did promise him a promotion if he got someone for me... anyway! What is it you need?" He pushed himself from the tree and took a step towards Eli, an evil look of amusement in his eyes. Eli held the knife like she was ready to fight someone to the death, "love, even if I wanted you to kill me or severely injure me, you wouldn't be able to. Humans can only exorcise demons and harm them with religious artifacts."

"I don't give a shit, I'm putting up a fight whether it matters or not," she said through clenched teeth. He continued walking towards her nonetheless, making her back away slowly until, in the most cliche way possible, she felt a tree blocking her path backward. He got up close, his body touching her body, and looked down at her with a smile.

He grabbed her chin and made her look at him, "did you just summon me here to fuck around with me, or are we making a deal, dear?" He grunted and looked down, seeing the knife stab into his left side. He looked back at Eli with amusement, "I told you, you can't hurt me. You have no power in this situation. Also, this was a brand new suit, ya know, now I have to take it in to get it fixed."

"Let me make it more expensive for you then," she took the knife out of his side and stabbed him again in a different spot. Then she took it out again and cut his shirt, cutting him in the process.

"Stop," he spoke aggressively, her antics starting to get on his nerves. He pushed himself away from her and looked down at his ruined suit, "are you fucking kidding me? Come on."

"Don't get into my space without consent then," she snapped.

"Humans and their consent... jeez..."

"Excuse me? Listen here you little shit," she marched towards him. He took a step back in surprise by her boldness. Eli was so much smaller than he was AND she was just a human, so why was he slightly scared? "Consent is important to have, it makes it so both parties are enjoying whatever they are doing. If one party says no, it means no. Say, 'no means no', right now."

"What on this forsaken p-"

"Say it. Right now," she held the knife up at him. There was silence between them, just eye contact. They stared at each other for a long time... it could've just been 30 seconds or it could've been 10 minutes. Time was insignificant to the demon and the human before him didn't seem to care either. She was going to keep going. Nothing was going to stop her from whatever her goal was, not even him being an asshole.

Holy Hell... she's... beautiful... what the fuck...? He thought to himself. "No means no," he finally spoke and broke the eye contact.

"Damn right," she only slightly lowered the knife, watching him with suspicion, which she had every right to do.

"L-Look, lady... I do not have any intentions of doing anything to you. Not anymore, at least. Just... what do you want?" He spoke softly to her.

"I want..." she lowered the knife all the way down. "I want a child."

He choked on nothing, "w-what!? A- what?! A child?! You could literally have a bunch of money or fame or the love of your life or-"

"I want to have a child," she spoke more sternly and with determination. He was beyond confused. Usually, humans always wanted the same things; money, power, love, etc.... but a child? He's never heard a human ask for a child. Having a child because she wants to bring a new life into the world... was that selfish? Humans are only selfish beings... was there selfishness in this request?

"But why? Just go have one yourself or like-" he stopped speaking, seeing tears in her eyes. "I-It's not-! It's just-! Fuck! I don't know!"

Eli sniffled, "do you really think I haven't tried to have a child of my own? Do you think I would just summon a demon just because I could? You have no idea what I've been through to have a child of my own! I-"

Suddenly arms wrapped around her, strong arms that felt... comforting and held her close, "I-I... You're right... I-... I have no idea what you've been through. But... I can tell that death follows you... so, I can gather an idea of what's happened... but I can't ever truly understand how you're feeling." He made a surprised sound at himself. Why was he comforting a human? Why was he being so nice? He was nearly 6,000 years old and here he was... hugging and comforting some human woman he's just met. He expected to be stabbed by Eli again, but nothing happened besides the sound of the knife clattering to the dirt. Now was his chance. He could do anything to her and she... 'no means no... no means no... no means no...' he repeated in his head. He felt her face shove into his chest and heard her sob loudly. He looked up above the trees at the stars and the moon, some clouds drifting by slowly. The demon rubbed her back idly while glaring at the sky. 'What are you doing to me. What are you planning', he thought into the air, directed at the big man himself. After some time, Eli pulled away and apologized, "no, no... you don't have anything to apologize for. I-If anything... I should be apologizing to you."

"Hah... a demon apologizing..." she sniffled and bent down to pick the knife up, he put his hand onto hers, keeping her from lifting it.

"I'm sorry," he said to her quietly and then took his hand away. She stood up and looked at him with surprise, but there was still suspicion in her eyes. Eli slowly put the knife away into her bag while watching him carefully for any movements. He looked down to the ground, "I don't intend on harming you in any way, but I understand why you're suspicious of me... I still want to grant your wish, so to speak... make a deal."

Eli perked up, eyes wide, "w-wait, really?"

"Yes... I'm sure it's against the rules though... but... I'll just break one rule. For you."

"So... I get to have a child... one that'll live a good long life?"

"I cannot guarantee the good part, but a long life I can."

"What is the ultimatum? 10 years?"

"Ah... see... that's the issue... since I'm breaking the rules for y-this... I have to cut it down to 5 years... n-now I-"

"Deal."

"Excuse me? We haven't even talked about how and when and all that other stuff."

"I don't care, just... deal. I'll take it."

"It's really reckless to just run into a deal without finalizing everything first. A demon could pull tricks and make terrible rules..." he put his hands together and then slowly opened them, a scroll appearing in flames in his hands.

"Well... are you going to do that?"

"No," he untied the scroll.

"Alright then... where do I sign?"

"W-What? You're just going to believe me just like that? What if I'm lying? I'm a fucking demon for hell's sake!"

Eli stared into his eyes for a short while before bringing them down to the scroll, "I trust you."

The demon stared at her for a while, feeling his non-existent soul swell, "...alright... so be it... sign here with your blood." She nodded and took out the knife, it still had black demon blood on it. She poked the tip of her pointer finger, using it as a way to sign. After she finished, the demon looked at her signature, "Elisa... a very nice name... joyful... it seems about right."

"Just call me Eli. What do you go by?"

The demon rolled the scroll closed, tying it up once again, then making it burst into flames, "the deal is done. Just... call me Sam."

"Alright, Sam it is then... what happens now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like... how am I going to have a kid? It just happens or like..."

"A-Ah, right... in the traditional way humans have children."

"Should I go to a club, a dating app, or like... what?"

Sam felt the hairs on his neck stand up, "no! er... I mean... a club would probably be the best fit..."

"Is it already determined who's going to be the father?"

"You see, this would've been stuff to talk about before you signed the deal. Well... nnnnnnnnnoo-yes. Yes, the father is already determined."

"Can I ask who it is? Like what's his name?"

"You'll know it when you see him."

"...Alright..."

"Why are you not afraid?" Sam blurts out. He clears his throat, "I mean... like not afraid to go into the dark, in a place you don't even know, and summon a fucking demon."

"I don't have anything to lose," Eli said flatly. Sam winced slightly, "I need to get home. It'll be a long walk home... thank you for helping me even though I stabbed you a couple times."

"N-Now wait a second. You don't have a ride? Or a car? What about a taxi or whatever that taxi service thing is called on your cellphone."

"It uh... it died. I'm just walking... I don't drive either, so," Eli shrugged and turned away, about to make her way out of the trees. Sam grabbed her arm and pulled her back, accidentally(?) a bit too close, "what the hell? Let me leave."

"No! I... I'll take you home. There are weirdos and bad people driving at night on the highway, I can feel the sin..." he lied.

"What? ... I... uhm... I guess... but how are you going to take me home? I don't imagine you have a car, do you?"

"No, I have something better. I'm a fucking demon. Er... may I hold you closer for safety reasons?"

Eli raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, "just don't try anything with me."

"I won't," he took a deep breath, pulling her closer to his body while he repeated 'no mean no' in his head. He closed his eyes, "close your eyes and don't open them until I say so, no matter what you hear." He opened his eyes and looked down at her, she had her eyes squeezed shut. He nodded and mover his left art out and forward, holding it above his head before making a slow cutting motion downwards. A rip in reality formed, the inside of the rip showed hell and its lovely glow of flames. He stepped into the rip while holding Eli as close as possible, "do not open your eyes." He repeated as the sounds of screaming and torture began. She buried her face into his side and started holding onto him as well. Again, his non-existent soul swelled up and he gave Eli a comforting squeeze. Sam successfully made it to the other rip that was made without running into any other demons. He stepped through that rip and looked at a door to a house he presumed was Eli's house. "You can open your eyes."

Eli peeked an eye open, "where..." she looked at the door, "home... where did you take me?"

"What do you mean?"

"The screaming place," she pointed behind her and started to turn.

Sam panicked, sealing the rip shut immediately, "You can't look at it! It's dangerous! It could damn your soul, trap you there, all sorts of things could happen!"

"Why would that matter? Am I not damned anyway for making a deal with you? I know I go to hell after the 5 years are up."

"W-Well yes... but no... I... If that happens you won't have a kid!"

"Fuck... yeah..." she looked down at the ground, a small smile playing on her lips, "this isn't like some fucked up dream right?"

"N-No. What? Why would it?"

"It just feels unreal..." Eli pulled out of Sam's hold and walked up to the door, digging the keys out of her pocket. Sam reached out slightly, her not noticing at all.

"Well... it's real... I'm glad you're happy," he followed after her.

She unlocked the door and started turning around, "I really am... I really am happy." Eli jumped slightly and looked up at Sam who was behind her. They stared at each other for a long time before he dove in and kissed her, pushing her slightly against the door. Eli's eyes widen in surprise before closing them and kissing Sam back. She reached behind her and grabbed at the air for the door handle, finally getting it and opening the door. They pulled away from each other, both of them flustered, "t-thank you, S-Sam... maybe see you again?"

"A-Ah... y-yeah... of course..." he rubbed the back of his head, "I'd... I'd love to see you again..." He knew it was against the rules to see her again. But... what's two broken rules to a list of nearly 400? He started walking down the stairs. She gave a kind smile, closing the door slowly before pausing and opening it again.

"Sam."

"Oh! Yes?" He turned around, surprised to see her at the top of the steps, eye level with him.

Eli grabbed his tie and pulled him to her slightly, "come here."

"O-Oh? Oh! Ohhh..." he let himself be dragged into the house. "Eli... is this... like... I don't want to get the wrong idea... but..."

"Maybe, play your cards right," she said playfully, still pulling him by the tie. "Take your shirt and coat off," Sam did so quickly, handing them to her, "go sit in the kitchen." He nodded and went there as she did whatever with his shirt and coat. She came out with a white box and walked over to him, "you said I couldn't hurt you because I'm human, right?"

"Yeah... physically."

"Well... that doesn't matter to me. I don't care if you heal faster than normal or it doesn't hurt or anything. It's the principle of the matter," Eli opened the box and pulled out some first aid supplies.

"Eli, you don't-"

"I want to! I... I want to," she got a wet washcloth and started cleaning the dried black blood. The room was in comfortable silence for a good long time before Eli broke it, "I'm sorry for stabbing you twice, cutting your chest, and ruining your new suit..."

"Yo-"

"But you kind of deserved it."

Sam blinked and looked down at her, she was concentrating on the left side stab wound. He laughed, "yeah... I kind of did." He watched her work carefully as they made idle conversation. She was treating him like a person and not some creature that could tear your body to pieces... and he... kind of liked it. Demons never really talked to each other, let alone have personal conversations. Sam put his hand on his chest in surprise, feeling a throb of something or some emotion he's never felt before or hasn't felt in a very very long time.

"Are you ok?" Eli looked up at him with... worry in her eyes?

Sam tore his eyes away from her, "Eli, I need you to get away from me, right now." He warned.

"But, I'm just trying to help you. Why are you getting hostile?"

"Eli, p-please, get away from me. Please. I don't want to hurt you."

"Now you're threatening me?" She stood up and crossed her arms, "in my own house?"

"Eli, you aren't understanding what I'm saying. I need you to get away from me. For your own health and safety," Sam started shaking. "Please, I'm begging you."

"Tell me what's wrong. What's happening?"

"For fucks sake, Eli!" He got off the chair and took a step towards her, "I need you to... get... away from me... right now. Go! Get out of my sight! Hide!"

"H-hide?" Eli took a step back and looked at Sam closely, "o..oh... Oh!" She spun on her heel and ran down the hall and to the master bedroom. 'Ok... closet... no that's too obvious... bathroom... again too obvious... this is so stupid,' she thought to herself as she starts dragging herself under her bed. She gets into a comfortable position where she is one-hundred percent under the bed with no extremities poking out so she'd get yanked out like some horror movie. She steadied her breathing and waited... and wait...

...and waited

.........and waited...

She started getting tired and her body was aching from the way she was laying under the bed... but everything seemed clear. Maybe he was good now? She very slowly, inch by inch, as quiet as possible, pulled herself out from under the bed. She sighed once she was free from under the bed and got onto her hands and knees to push herself up. A sinister laugh came from behind her, "I was wondering how long you were going to stay under there."

She slowly turned around, seeing Sam laying on her bed, "S-Sam...? How did you get in here and onto the bed without me knowing?"

He shrugged, "I'm a demon, love. We have our ways."

"Sam, please... let's just go back to the kitchen so I can finish-"

"Mm, no," he stood up.

"Sam... please..." She slowly stood up.

"You're driving me crazy, you know that? What are you doing to me? What are you planning?" He walks up to Eli and pushes her back onto the floor easily, putting a foot on her chest to keep her down, "tell me."

"I-I'm not doing anything! I'm just trying to be nice!"

"Nobody is nice for no reason. What do you want?"

"There are people who are nice for no reason other than to m-" he pushed his foot down to make her stop talking.

"You are somethin' else, aren't ya?" He drops down to the floor to join her there. Sam reaches over to touch Eli's face, but she swats his hand away. He then grabs her wrist, her other hand coming and trying to get his hand off, only for him to grab that hand too, "just let me show you affection."

"No! Let go of me!" Eli shouts at him, trying to kick him. Sam moves and sits on her thighs, pinning each hand in its perspective side by her head.

"Why?" His eyes were wide and glowing in the dark, his pupils were dilated to their fullest amount as he looked down at Eli.

"Because I said no! No means-!"

"No. No... No!" Sam let go of Eli and threw himself off of her, wildly rubbing his eyes, "fuck! God damn it! Fucking... I'm sorry, Eli... I'm sorry... fuck, I'm so stupid."

"What is the fucking hell was that?!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry... fuck..." Sam stood up and kept rubbing his eyes, "this hasn't happened in 4,000 years..." He walked over to Eli, holding his hand out.

Eli hesitantly took it, Sam pulling her up, "ok, but what was that."

"I... in the past... it's only happened once to another woman... I... I killed her because I couldn't control myself. I was only 1,900 years."

"So, you would've killed me?"

"I'm sure you'd probably want to die after what happens..."

"What would have happened?" Sam gave her a look, "Oh... right... yeah... but why would I want to die?"

Sam laughed nervously, "let's not Uhm... talk about what happens, ok? It's... I... no, let's not talk about that."

"Uhhh..." Eli gave him a side-eye, "alright then... we won't talk about it... for now." Sam nodded and stared at the ground, "come on... let's finish cleaning your stabs. I would've stabbed you again if I had a knife."

"I know..." Sam said. Eli took his hand and dragged him to the kitchen, "why are you not kicking me out of your house?"

"I'll do that after I clean everything up," Eli looked back at him with a smile. Sam just stared for a moment before giving her a genuine and kind smile.

She changed him and he could feel it by the pounding in his chest.

[trashboatprince]

I figure that at some point at least one or two angels came down to check on Aziraphale about his business with watching over Warlock. I know that the angels didn’t seem all that interested in the plan, but it doesn’t hurt to see what is going on with the lessons, yeah?

Summery: Aziraphale is enjoying the unmonitored freedom he has at the Dowling estate, his relationship with his favorite demon is going strong, until he gets an unexpected visit from one of his superiors.

How do you tell the Archangel Michael that you’re working in the same area as your so-called adversary?

I headcanon the angels having their signature weapons hidden on their person through marks and tattoos, so they don’t have to carry them around. If Aziraphale still had his sword, he’d have it on his body somewhere as a golden tattoo. I bring this up cause it’s mentioned in this.

This is also posted on ao3 under the title Of Heavenly Tree Trimmings and Hellish Nursery Rhymes

On with the fic!

--

Brother Francis gave his carnations a hard stare, just as Ashtoreth taught him, a warning that one must not displease an angel, for they are known to rain Heaven’s wrath down upon those who do! He then smiled and gave them a good misting from the hose.

It’s been a rather lovely week, he’s noted. The summer heat wasn’t terrible, Warlock was doing well with being rather good this week and rebelling against Nanny’s change in naptime hours, which Francis wasn’t going to touch, as it was funny. Just part of his attempts at thwarting a wily, in his mind.

He hummed to himself as he moved to go and tend to the rose bushes, only to tense up when he smelled something in the air.

A smell that was fresh, clean, with a hint of ozone, and metal.

“Oh no.” He dropped the hose and turned sharply, looking towards the house.

He could see Thaddeus on the patio, stepping towards the yard with a figure that the angel knew all too well. Dressed in a clean pantsuit, with laced sleeves and hair styled in a specific way, was the Archangel Michael.

She smiled as she listened to Thaddeus speak, nodding and chatting with him in return. Aziraphale panicked, why was she here!? He hadn’t expected to see one of his superiors show up, and if he had, it was always Gabriel! Once in a while it was Uriel, but she usually just dropped a report in front of him and walked away, but Michael never came to Earth where Aziraphale was!

At least, she hasn’t done that in a long, long time. This had to be serious, but why was she talking to Francis’ boss?

Did… did she come here to send Aziraphale to Heaven for something?

Or did she know about Crowley?

Aziraphale panicked, he couldn’t go to Crowley! He was already spotted; he couldn’t warn the demonic nanny! And Michael was smart, she would know Crowley was somewhere nearby. After all, she was the angel who took down Lucifer! She had her spear on her at all times, hidden on her arm as a tattoo, painted gold. Just a flick of her wrist and it would be embedded in Crowley without so much as a flinch.

He tensed up, watching them approach, but he smiled despite himself as the American. “Good afternoon to ya, Master Dowling.” He bowed his head. “And a good afternoon to yer companion here.”

He could see Michael looking at him with a neutral expression on her face, but her eyes betrayed her. She was disgusted with his appearance, but she understood that he had to blend in.

“And a good afternoon to you as well, Brother Francis.” Thaddeus returned the greeting. “I was just showing Mr. Archer here around the estate. He stopped by to discuss things with me and asked about the garden.”

“Ah, no need to introduce me, Mr. Dowling.” Michael smiled, his voice just slightly deeper. “I already know your gardener. I recognized his work from outside of the meeting room, he used to work for me.”

“Oh?” This caught both Thaddeus’ and Aziraphale’s attention. “Ah! Didn’t expect that, haha! Small world, am I right?”

There was a sharp ringing sound and he pulled out his phone. “Oh, gotta take this. I’ll leave you two to catch up! Do come back inside so we can finish the deal when you’re done.” He smiled at Michael before answering. “Mr. President!” He greeted before stepping away.

Once he was out of earshot, Michael turned to smile coldly at Aziraphale, making him feel small. “Aziraphale, you look… filthy.”

“Comes with the job, I’m afraid.” Aziraphale replied, his mouth dry. “But it allows me to keep an eye on the boy, he’s rather adventurous, always wanting to be outside.”

“Hm.” The Archangel stepped around him, looking around the garden. “Interesting. Any news to report?”

“Well, he’s doing well with his lessons! He prevented the death of a spider this morning, and he told off his nanny-!” He froze up, which cause her attention.

“That sounds rather evil.” Michael frowned.

Aziraphale swallowed, laughing nervously. “W-well, the nanny, she’s a troublesome lady..! Thinks things have to be done in such a way to get her approval…!”

Michael just looked at him, glancing at the house. “What does this nanny look like?”

“Like… a nanny you’d see from a while back, she claims to be old fashion, though I can’t say much myself.” He tugged as his smock.

“I wonder…” The other angel mumbled. “Do you smell it, Aziraphale? In the house?”

Aziraphale frowned. “Smell what? I don’t go in the house often, I’m usually out here, got a little cottage I live in too.”

“So, you don’t smell the evil?”

He tensed up, eyes widen, before he laughed a bit. “Oh, yes..! I’ve smelled it, but I just suspect it to be the child! You know how new powers can be, can’t quite be controlled!”

“I’ve heard that none of us should be able to detect his smell, do you think that there is someone evil in the house? Trying to do what we’re doing? I wouldn’t be surprised if the forces of Hell had come to a similar conclusion of influencing the upbringing as you did.”

There was a tone of suspicion on Michael’s voice and Aziraphale was glad he couldn’t breathe for real cause he’d suspect that he’d be having trouble doing so. Did she know? Did she suspect that Crowley was there?

He glanced towards the house, eyes wide when the backdoor opened and outstepped the demon in question, pushing a stroller with a giddy, two-year old Warlock strapped in. She didn’t seem to suspect that Michael was there, but if she did, then she was doing her best to not show it. Usually Crowley would tense up and try to bolt when other angels were about, but that would be suspicious.

He wished that Crowley had stayed inside, but it was the time of the day to take Warlock outside to play, and Ashtoreth kept to a tight schedule.

“Well, well,” Michael spoke up, “this must be the nanny you were speaking of. Aziraphale, maybe you need a lesson on evil again, because I can just sense it, there’s something dark about her…”

“That would be the aesthetic she radiates, lots of humans are into it, I do believe it is called ‘goth’.” Aziraphale spoke, trying to keep Michael from questioning things, and- oh dear, the Archangel was making her way over to Nanny.

Aziraphale hissed and followed quickly, seeing Michael step in front of Ashtoreth, who paused in pushing the stroller. She glanced up; eyes perfectly hidden behind her shades. “Excuse me, can I help you?” She asked softly, her voice accented as always for her persona.

“I just wanted to introduce myself.” Michael smiled, speaking sweetly, Aziraphale bit his lip as he watched the two. “I’m Michael Archer, I’m just visiting, speaking with the gardener. We know one another.”

A slight shift of her head had Ashtoreth looking at the gardener, before she looked back at Michael. “I see, I suppose you are a former client he worked for. I am Nanny Ashtoreth.”

“Ashtoreth?” Michael asked, looking at the redhead with a suspicious stare. “Isn’t that name a little… demonic? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Not at all.” Ashtoreth replied, her grip on the handles of the stroller was tight. “It is a family name, old, yes, and associated with a demon, but I have embraced it as something to be proud of, at least by which the goddess Ashtoreth is associated with. You yourself share a name with an angel, and our mutual friend here shares a name with a saint.”

That didn’t stop Michael from looking at the other, her nose twitching. Aziraphale unconsciously repeated the action, sniffing the air. He smelled Michael, along with a strong scent of flowers, of a musk that clearly meant perfume was used. It was Nanny’s usual smell, just a bit stronger. He could just barely smell the more demonic scent hidden beneath it.

“Do you often wear sunglasses?” Michael suddenly asked, stepping closer.

“Often enough, I have a bit of trouble in bright lights.” Ashtoreth replied.

“May I see them? Sorry, they look rather nice, I’d like to see if they’d be worth a purchase.” She smiled at the demon, who kept a neutral face in a way that Aziraphale had never seen Crowley do in the six thousand years they’ve known each other.

Quietly, Ashtoreth reached up and removed the shades, Aziraphale nearly jumping to action when he could sense the holy energy coming from Michael’s arm. Without saying a word, Ashtoreth turned her head up, opening her eyes to show perfectly normal brown eyes. There was no indication that they were snake-like in anyway.

Michael was handed the shades and quickly looked them over, the holy energy quickly gone. “I’ll think about it,” She spoke before handing them back, Nanny was quick to put them on, “well, I must get back to that meeting with your boss. Lovely meeting you, Miss Ashtoreth.”

She turned her attention to Aziraphale. “I shall see you in due time, Francis.” She patted his shoulder before making her way to the house. The two watched her until she vanished inside and Ashtoreth walked quickly into the large garden, to get out of sight, Aziraphale following.

Once they knew they were completely out of sight, away from prying angel eyes, Crowley snapped her attention to Aziraphale, looking quite shaken. “That was Michael.”

“I know.”

“Archangel fucking Michael!”

“I know, my dear…”

“Why was she here!? Does she know!?”

Aziraphale quickly shook his head, putting his hands on her shoulders. “No, no, she has no idea you’re Crowley. From what it seems, she must see you as just some nanny who likes witchy stuff, like the rest of the staff seems to think. Dear, you’re shaking like a leaf!”

A chair was suddenly behind the nanny as she was gently sat down onto it. Aziraphale moved behind her, removing her hand to put his suddenly-clean hands on her head, carefully rubbing at her hair. He knows his demon well, knowing that the panic and stress would give her a migraine, especially after having to use a miracle to make her eyes appear so human-like. It was something Crowley loathed to do, as it blinded her in the process, she couldn’t see with her pupils like that, she wasn’t the kind of snake with wide ones.

She seemed to relax carefully at his touch, but her hands were clenched on her lap. “She was going for her weapon.”

“I would have stopped her.” Aziraphale replied as he placed a kiss to her head. “But you stopped her with your fake eyes. I also noticed you covered your smell.”

“I sensed her before I ever saw her inside, I had to work fast, practically bathed myself in perfume.” Crowley hissed out, trying to force herself to relax. Her eyes turning to Warlock who was giggling as a butterfly flew around his head. “I’m suspecting you’ll be going up to Heaven tomorrow.”

Aziraphale sighed loudly. “No doubt about it, best to give all of them an actual update. I’ll explain that you’re just some human woman with an interest in looking like you worship Satan, but don’t really do so.”

There was a quiet hum from Crowley as she nodded. “Best of luck, angel.”

“Thank you, and best of luck to you as well, I’m sure you’ll need to report to Hell tomorrow, just in case.”

“Uuuuuhhhhhhgggggg…” Crowley flopped back, looking up at Aziraphale with a pout, which earned her a chuckle from the angel. “Wanna get shitfaced tonight in your cabin?”

“Oh, you have no idea how badly I was hoping you’d suggest that, my dear nanny.”

END

--

Michael is suspicious, but not sure. Give her a few more years and she’ll learn the truth.

[milasartblog]

Brothers' quarrel (part 1)

It was common day for all creatures of Heaven, Hell and Human worlds. Some were busy with works, others with other work. Michael was on his way from one angelic duty he did while talking with someone on the phone. Surprisingly, Michael learned how to use it somehow, thanks to Lucifer.

Michael: So you had only one lesson today with human students? That's cool. Yeah, I also got free from my duty. No, I still have to do some. Luci, don't tempt me to skip them! Pff, do you really think it will work? Okay okay, maybe we can try to skip today. Alright, in couple of minutes I will be at that building. See you later!

With smile he finished the call as walked in the Hall. Meanwhile, Gabriel was walking in the Hall too, looking around in a search. Noticing Michael, he ran to him.

Gabriel: Michael! I was looking for you.

Michael: Oh hi, Gabi. Good to see you. How is Raphael?

Gabriel: He is fine, busy with family. Do you have a minute?

Michael: Umm, yeah? What is it?

Gabriel: Better talk in another room. It's serious question.

Michael: Oh....okay.

He got nervous for a moment as they moved to an empty room. Michael guessed what his brother wanted to ask. But he was not ready to tell him about it now, he wanted to take more time to figure things out, how to bring such news, how Gabriel and Raphael will react to it, and how things will go on after this. But seems like fate changed its plans.

Michael: Okay, Gabi, what is it you wanted to talk about with me?

Gabriel: I wanted to talk with you about something, and I want you to be 100% honest with me.

Michael: Well, you know that i'm not the best at it. But are you sure that-

Gabriel: Michael.....

The awkward silence wrapped angels. The seriousness of Gabriel's expression and words made Michael even more nervous, as he tried to stay calm. He tried to predict any moment, and even if he could, it made him be covered in sweat more. After couple of seconds, Gabriel broke the silence with smile.

Gabriel: Why didn't you tell us that you got a girlfriend?

Michael blinked for a moment.

Michael: W...What?

Gabriel: C'mon, brother, don't be fool, we already guessed that something is happening with you. You even acted not like usual. And what can another reason be than love?

But it made Michael feel more anxious as he knew that there was no way back. He had to tell him about Lucifer.

Michael: Gabi, listen, it's not what you think.

Gabriel: Of course it is. I still can't believe that you found your solumate. Why didn't you introduce us to your girlfriend?

Michael: It's...actually a boyfriend, and-

Gabriel:.....Welp, okay, i think we can handle it.

And another anxious nerve was added to Michael. Now the tension grew more.

Gabriel: So who is this angel man?

Michael: It's not an angel, and not a human.

Gabriel: Huh? Who can it be else than these two? I'm pretty sure that angels can be with other angel. Well, i would still advice not to hang out with humans, as-

Michael: It's a demon!!

A sudden exclamation broke out and both brothers stood stunned: one from news and other from giving such news. Gabriel's eye twitched for a second as uneasy smile appeared on his face.

Gabriel: You're joking me, right? Nervous joke, right?

Michael: No, Gabi....It's true. And you know this man pretty well.

Anxious silence got them for a moment. Gabriel's face changed into indignant while Michael sighed heavily. Gabriel grabed Michael's arms.

Gabriel: Why didn't you tell me earlier??

Michael's eyes were wide as looked at angry Gabriel. He knew that it was inevitable, and yet he wished things went calmer.

Michael: I couldn't tell because-

Gabriel: Did Lucifer use a spell on you?? Or worse, hipnotized you?? Or other kind of demon trick??

Michael: No, he didn't!! It was our honest feelings to each other.

Gabriel:....Do you think i will believe it? Demons are manipulative, evil, unpredictable, sinful troublemakers!! They guide humans to untrue ways!! And so they can do it to angels, like you!! I so knew that weekends plan with Lucifer was the worst. Please, tell me where he put spell and i will break-

Michael: There is no spell!! Lucifer was honest with me!! And so was I!! How don't you understand it??

A sharp shout sounded from Michael's mouth that made Gabriel flinch and step back a bit. Realising what was done, Michael's face changed into anxious, distressed look.

Michael: Oh God....Gabi, i-i didn't mean to-

Gabriel: We need to get to Raphael. Right now.

Gabriel grabed Michael's hand as started to walk quickly out of the room.

Michael: W-Wait, Gabi!! Let me explain-

Gabriel: It's worse then i thought. And how could Lucifer fall so low?? To seduce an archangel, moreover his brother!! Don't worry, Mike, we will help you!

Michael: Gabi, please, listen-

Gabriel: And why nobody listened to me that day?? I should have just take and do it.

Michael: Gabi, stop it!!!

With force he removed his hand away, making both of them stop for a moment. Michael breathed deeply, trying to calm down as tears began to appear in his eyes. Gabriel looked at his brother.

Gabriel: M-Mike-

Michael: I....I don't need help. I'm fine....really....Lucifer did nothing to me, none of us were forcing each other to do it. I tried to explain it to you....But if you don't want listen to me.....then I better not try.

Gabriel: Michael, wai-!!

But it was too late: Michael vanished to Human world, to the roof of one of the buildings, under which the meeting with Lucifer was planned. However, Michael didn't rush to the appartment immediately, he stood there, trying to calm down. But emotions kept coming, running with tears like a river. He grabbed his hair tightly, almost kneeling to the ground as tried to focus.

Michael: It's no use....no matter what time, place, circumstances.....the reaction is the same.....why....why should it happen like this?...I thought....I thought that we understand each other. Like real brothers....Gabi......Raph.....Luci.....

He wraped himself with his arms as fell on his knees, crying. Couple of minutes seemed endless as river of sadness kept washing weary angel. Thousands thoughts spun into one anxious lump. He didn't know what to do, to whom he can go. He couldn't explain to his brother, nor he would not be able to face Lucifer like this. If not sudden phone vibration, who knows how long Michael would stand like this. It was messenger, with several messages from Lucifer.

Michael: Lucifer is waiting for me.....Oh God, i so forgot about the meeting! But....I can't appear in such state....I need to calm down. Calm down.

Easy to say than done. Realising it was useless, another worried message appeared, saying "Mike, are you okay? Did something happen? Answer me, please". And this was the last point where Michael gave up on calming down and, with snap of fingers, he changed clothes and teleported to the front door of the appartment. Meanwhile Lucifer was about to go out of his temporary appartment.

Lucifer: Michael is getting late again. I hope that nothing serious ha-

He couldn't finish his sentence as after he opened door, he got stunned, seeing Michael with tears on his eyes.

Lucifer: Michael?! What happened?

But no words sounded from Michael as he hugged Lucifer tightly. Staying confused and stunned, Lucifer looked at Michael as hugged him back.

Lucifer: Hey, babe, what happened? Who hurted you? Come in, I will bring water.

And they both stepped inside while Michael didn't say any word.

----------

And that's the first part of brothers' quarrel qwq Things are getting angsty here qwq Will Gabriel ever change his mind? qwq

P. S.: Sorry for long text qwq

Gabriel, Lucifer and Michael belong to @wildstarfan and @milasartblog (both me)

Okaria et Feria belongs to @wildstarfan and @captainthane

[kadywicker]

gomens for the ask game

@vizarding who asked for gomens too!

my all-time ultimate fave character: crowley. i love my kid.

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: idk that i have one? gomens characters r pretty straight-forward asfajsd

a character I used to like but now don’t: again, gomens characters are p straight forward

a character I’m indifferent about: newt. rip newt but ur very boring.

a character who deserved better: all the characters of color lmao. i also would love to see actual on screen rep but w/e

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: why do people ship aziraphale/grabriel? or crowley/gabriel? who hurt you?

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: aziraphale/crowley 

a cute, low-key ship: uuuuuuh dont have one tbh? oh michael/beelzebub is fun

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: again michael/beelzebub

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: idk really? i’m like okay w the ships that happened

my favorite storyline/moment: looove episode 3 it’s so fun.

a storyline that never should have been written: “crossdressing is very funny haha see the man in the dress? hilarious!” and also the one actually on screen nonbinary person being an evil poc who dies like thank you. for that. “oho but neil said on twitter-” i dont care frankly many trans women have spoken abt how the nanny thing absolutely is a man in a dress joke and even if the intention WAS somehow for crowley to be genderfluid they got a cis man to play him and never addressed it beyond the nanny thing which can easily be passed off as a joke so like i have little sympathy

my first thoughts on the show: “idk anything about this but people are saying it’s gay so i’ll give it a watch”

my thoughts now: i love gomens deeply it has a very special place in my heart i’ve got a TATTOO and everything. it’s a fun show! however it’s been kinda ruined for me by a) the fandom b) neil’s handling of the gay situation. like the show would’ve been fine as it stood but the constant insistence that everyone that comes to him w a sexuality/gender headcanon is absolutely right thats what he intended (even when they contradict) EXCEPT when someone says “hey i think they’re gay” is just. it’s really insulting and has given me a bad taste, esp bc a lot of the fans LEFT in the fandom are ones that will defend that tooth and nail like neilman is paying their rent. and a lot of the fans left are the ones that will defend p//edophilia in fandom (lookin at everyone fine w draw//light & mia//ugly) and not care about racist/transphobic/homophobic headcanons. like the fandom was genuinely fun for a while when it was half of the site and you could choose people that aligned more w ur beliefs but now its just :| and theres so few actually decent people left here. ANYWAY THATS ALL TO SAY i still love the story and love the characters and i’m deeply invested in my lil gomens adjacent universe i’ve built w my boyfriend, but the creator/fandom has kinda ruined my taste for the actual thing or interacting w the fandom beyond reblogging some gifsets lmao

send me a tv series and i’ll tell you…

[kathyprior4200]

Falling From Grace, Landing In Love (AU)

Vaggie has to make a choice to decide her fate for her afterlife. She is trained to become an Exterminator due to her personality and expertise with weapons. She is sent with the other Angels of Death to purge the citizens of Hell once every year to reduce overpopulation and induce fear in the sinners. Along the way, she meets Charlie, the princess of Hell and falls in love.

Unable to kill her or any other demons, Vaggie chooses to be with Charlie and disobeys the others. She falls from grace and lands in Hell in her current moth demon form. She is left with a harpoon weapon to defend herself and a mission. Her mission is now to spy on (mostly) Charlie and the other demons to try and get them to redeem themselves. (and also to ensure that the citizens don’t pose a threat to Heaven, God and the angels). Only when she is able to redeem herself, her girlfriend Charlie and other demons can she ascend to Heaven (or an alternate realm).

  Ascension (Vaggie)

 “Vagatha…”

  “Vagatha…”

  The sound of her name mingled with the chorus of a choir. A black void was all she could see…if she actually had vision. Floating in the darkness, no physical feeling…she didn’t appear to have a body at all.

 For a moment, she just…was.

 “Vagatha…”

 The vocalizations appeared to be coming from above. Faint rays of white light appeared, slowly reaching out. Though bright, it’s wasn’t blinding…it was light at the end of a tunnel of space and time.

The light radiated closer, and as it did, her senses sharpened.

Wait…wasn’t she…dead? Why could she perceive this event in the first place? Death meant a change into energy, a merging with the universe…at least that’s what many spiritualists believed.

Had the choir not sung out her name, she may have forgotten who she is…or was.

 Vagatha was apparently her name…she knew it sounded familiar, but also wasn’t quite right. Too formal and too long.

A shorter, better-suited version would be…

 Vaggie.

 She felt every inch of her ethereal being yell out her name, but no sound came out. It was similar to a person declaring something in their sleep, or speeches inside the mind. Repeating it, holding onto the word that could somehow connect her to what was before…and what was to come.

   The darkness was soon dispelled by the light and the whiteness around her gained the form of large puffy clouds.

 Moving forward until an unseen force froze her in her tracks, the deceased soul saw a unique sight. A slightly rusted golden gate blocked her path. A silver sign next to it read “Low Level of Heaven.”

 Heaven?

 An angel appeared next to the gate, clothed in white dress pants, a white shirt with a golden bow-tie and a pair of white feathering wings folded behind his back. Strangely enough, his face was completely white, with red blushes off to the sides on either cheek. His hair was bronze gold and short, looking white. If he hadn’t looked so serene and regal, she would’ve considered him a clown.

 He stared at her and spoke wordlessly with his golden eyes. “What’s your name?”

She knew what to say. “I am Vaggie.”

   “Vagatha Gonzales,” the angel stated, looking at a holographic list that appeared in front of him. “Formerly of Earth. El Salvadorian ancestry, born to Jeffery and Margaret on May 10th, 1992…”

The angel’s words faded in and out in a haze. She was on the brink between matter and ether. Until something snapped her into focus.

“…died in 2014 of stab wounds and homicide.”

Brief traumatic-inducing images flashed in front of her, but she couldn’t quite piece them together.

 The angel then went on naming all the good and bad deeds that Vaggie had supposedly done in her previous human life. He started off with the good:

“A hard-working individual, devoted to her values/faith. Protective of children, animals, and flying creatures: Moths in particular…”

How in Heaven and Hell could he see through her?

 And then the so-called sins…

“…harmed and maimed various racist men in the name of your family and Hispanic women…displayed lustful feelings toward other females…”

A boiling feeling of rage filled her body-less form. Her previous memories started to rush back to her. “Love, not lust! It’s who I was. Who decides what’s good and what’s bad?”

“God, the Heavenly Father,” the angel answered.

“Read my mind again. I dare you!”

“You don’t technically have one as of yet.”

“Then where’s yours? Did you lose it?”

The angel sighed. “Let’s just get through this interrogation process smoothly. I have eternity to reside here, but I’d prefer to not waste much of it on arguments.”

Vaggie fell silent. “Anything neutral about me?”

“You liked punk rock music, 80’s music, and Latino music.”

“O…kay? When I get into this place, can I listen to them?”

“If you truly get in,” the angel added. “All souls begin with an evaluation and judgement. The majority are neutral, like yourself. The evil and unfaithful get sent down to Hell. Only the heroic and legendary can reach the highest levels of Heaven and find fulfillment with God.”

Vaggie was silent again.

The angel turned red in the face and summoned a piece of paper in his hand, glancing down at it. “Or Nirvana. Or Akasha. Or becoming one with the Universe and the Higher Self,” he read. The list of other faiths went on, though Satanism and certain Pagan faiths were not included. “Man, diverse times in the mortal realm call for more accommodations around here…”

“Who the fuck are you?!”

“To answer your current question,” the angel added, unfazed, “My name is Puriel. I am an examiner of souls brought to Heaven. Each soul gets one chance in Heaven at the lowest level. Those who can prove their worth can ascend to higher planes. It is a starting point for the majority of souls. Sadly, there are more that end up going to Hell, which poses a big problem.”

Puriel continued.  

“But more on that, later. And yes…other realms do exist…Enlightenment, Avalon, Summerland, the Void, etc. The lower level of Heaven is a basic starting point for the afterlife, mostly because it’s been woven into mortals’ minds for centuries. Souls are given one chance, though there are, of course, exceptions.”

Vaggie could already feel Puriel’s eyes judging her.

Puriel waved his hand and spoke an ancient incantation. Vaggie somehow understood it: “Breath is lost, a new life found, Temporary form to this soul be bound.”

 Vaggie’s new form very much resembled her previous human form…thought it was also very different. As a human, she had thick dark hair, light brown skin, and a thin but strong physique. She had gotten her muscular tone from martial arts and hard work. She frequently wore gothic outfits of black, gray and pastel pink.

 Her skin was now slightly light gray, her hair long and white with faint bands of red along the tips. A pink bow was perched on her head, like the one she enjoyed wearing as a human. Her eyes were large and the sclera orange. She wore stockings over her legs, the right one navy blue, the left one with pink stripes on it. Her white mini dress with two xs over her breasts covered the top half of her legs and exposed her light gray shoulders. She wore a blue undershirt and a tight collar around her neck. A large pink X appeared over her left eye, the same eye that had been damaged in her previous life. Vaggie’s most stunning feature was a pair of white feathery wings that materialized from golden light and emerged from her back. Her wings also had thin red bands along near the tips.

 “This is the form that appeared in your mind, so at your request, this is your usual form for the afterlife,” said Puriel. “Your redeemed form will be the one you possessed as a human.”

 “Thank you,” she replied, staring at herself. She would have to get used to her alternate form, but already it seemed fitting for her.

 Puriel spoke another incantation and several portals opened up in a row above the gate. The faces that appeared in the holes were the faces of other angels: Michael, Raphael, Haniel, Gabriel, and even some Angels of Death: Dumah, Azrael, etc.

In the very center, another portal opened, revealing six winged seraphim angels guarding a hovering throne. God Himself, appearing as an elderly man with a great white beard, gazed upon his subjects and attendants. He began to talk with the council of angels residing in different spheres of Heaven.

 Vaggie couldn’t make out the words, as they were speaking in a divine language only few had the privilege to learn.

After what felt like an eternity, God left and one by one, the angels and the portals vanished.

 Puriel turned to Vaggie.

“Your misdeeds by themselves would originally send you right to Hell, but you also have a chance to repent based on your values of justice and wisdom.”

 “You have several choices. First, you can return back to the void of nonexistence. No feeling, no memory, nothing…thus bringing balance to the universe. For what emerges from the ether must eventually return. Those who die a second time in Hell, Heaven, or any realm, will cease to exist again.”

 “Just stop with the philosophical bullshit.” Vaggie clenched her fists, eager to get past this unbearable lecture.

  “Second, you can travel to other realms and see if they’ll let you pass…though it may take a while and it’s not guaranteed. Third, you could go straight to Hell and become a demon…though it’s not recommended.”

  “…Or, if you choose to stay here…you are to become a member of our Exterminator Angels of Death. This is determined based on both your proficiency in fighting and weaponry…but also on your neutral nature overall. Though your past human actions would be considered malicious, your overall intentions were pure. Once initiated into the soldier ranks, you will need to prove yourself in order to potentially ascend to higher levels of Heaven. What say you?”

 Vaggie thought for a moment. “I want to stay in Heaven and see my family.”

 “Do you solemnly swear to serve in the name of Christ the Lord and embrace His ways and the ways of the citizens of Heaven?”

 “I accept.” A flaming white halo with little spikes through the brim appeared above Vaggie’s head. A small white arrow with the shape of a French emblem appeared in the center of the halo.

 “Close your eyes and focus,” said Puriel. “Say, ‘Saint Samael, I’m ready for duty.’”

 Vaggie did so, and she instantly transformed.

 A harpoon weapon appeared in her right hand and an LED mask in her left. Dark curved horns arched slightly past her head, her white hair vanishing under a dark hood. Her wings now sprouted black feathers which were both strong as steel and lightweight for graceful movement. In replacement of her normal outfit, she now wore a kind of black body suit with feathered gauntlets over her arms and lower legs, all black. She stared at the LED mask which displayed a glowing white eye to the left, an x in place of an eye on the right and a large glowing white grin. There appeared to be faint red stains off to the sides. Vaggie almost recoiled at the grotesque item. Hesitantly, she put on the mask and was still able to see clearly.

   “Archangel Vagatha,” Puriel said, declaring her new title. “Your fate has been decided. Your mission is to purge the demonic citizens of Hell once a year to reduce overpopulation to a set quantity. Any relationships and fraternization with the citizens of Hell is forbidden. Your training begins at twilight.”

 The gates finally opened soundlessly and Vaggie flew through. She was amazed at how she quickly got used to her wings, like they were a second pair of strong arms. Her harpoon somehow felt natural in her hands. She was half tempted to throw it at Puriel, but she knew that the mostly immortal being would not be happy.

Was he immortal? Was she immortal, even in this peculiar plane of existence?

 “And Vagatha,” warned Puriel as she briefly glanced back at his row of strangely sharp white teeth, “Break the rules of God, and you’ll fall from grace. Your halo will vanish and your wings will burn off. You will become nothing else but a demon of Hell forever.”

   Preparation (Charlie)

“Charlotte, it’s almost time for the show to begin. Hurry on down!”

A young teen demon was sitting in front of a mirror decorated with yellow eyes with black pupils along the elegant rim. She put on a dash of red lipstick while her two goat dolls, Razzle and Dazzle fixed her hair.

 “Dad!” called the blond-haired princess from inside her room, “I told you to call me Charlie! Charlotte sounds too…strange.”

“Well that’s your name, you should be used to it by now.”

 Charlie rolled her eyes and stared at her reflection: golden yellow eyes, a ghost white face with red blushes off to the side of her cheeks, razor sharp fangs when she smiled. She was so excited, she could barely sit still.

 When her attendants were done, she stood up to admire herself and her outfit. A candy red pinstriped dress nearly touched the floor and felt slightly tight around her waist. An enchanted light purple snake was wrapped around her waistline, both serving as decoration and self-defense in case of grabby onlookers. It was very similar to the snake that her father Lucifer kept around his white top hat (though both were protective of their owners thanks to Lucifer’s magic). Spider web leggings covered her pale legs and on her feet were black tap-dancing shoes. One of her feet was already moving up and down slightly. Finally, Charlie wore a black spiked crown with a red apple gem in the center.

 “My 150th birthday!” she exclaimed, doing several happy jumps. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for a while.”

Indeed, it had been 150 years since she had been born in Hell to the king and queen. Unlike humans, the demons hardly aged at all, or if they did, it was a very slow process. (Then again, they were already dead, so it didn’t really matter.)

 But Charlie had heard of the interesting human tradition they called “birthdays” on Earth. She insisted to her parents they had to celebrate hers once a year.

 While Lucifer had been reluctant, Lilith agreed.

“We can’t participate in that foolish human tradition,” Lucifer argued. “Especially since we aren’t alive and our people are supposed to be suffering twenty four, seven.”

“If it makes our daughter happy, then so be it,” she said. “Besides, no one else has to know. It’ll be one of our traditions.”

“Very well,” he said. “But since Charlie gets a special day of her own, why don’t we make some days special for us…if you know what I mean.”

He gave her a devilish wink and she grinned in return. “A special day for domination…I’m up for that.”

Charlie had then entered the room, asking “What’re you talking about?” and the topic was changed.

“So, about that meeting with the other overlords?” Lilith asked her husband.

“As usual, I warned them they needed to know their place.”

Rolling her eyes, Charlie had left to play the grand piano.

 “Are you coming or not?” Lucifer asked, snapping her back to reality.

“I’m ready!” she called, opening the door.

There was her father in front of her, smiling his nearly ever-present grin. Like her, he had (much shorter) blond hair, a white face, blushes on his cheeks, and yellow eyes. He wore his usual white and candy red suit, with his white top hap with a snake along the rim. A black staff appeared in his hand with the Forbidden Fruit on the top: a red apple. Lilith walked over to stand beside him, wearing an elegant red dress and her usual black crown between her red horns on her head. She had blond hair even longer than Charlie’s and was taller than Lucifer.

“Oh Charlie,” exclaimed her mother in a soft voice, “You look so beautiful! You remind me of me when I was your age.”

 Charlie embraced her mother in a happy hug. “Come on, now,” Lilith said, letting go and beckoning her to come forward. “Our guests are waiting.”

 The “guests” were actually some of Lucifer’s snakes which he reluctantly enchanted to take on the appearances of…

 “Disney Princesses and Harry Potter wizards,” Lucifer muttered in disgust. “It could’ve been wounded demons sprawling in pain on the ground like in the past…”

 Charlie walked down the curving staircase down to the lobby of her family’s mansion. The “princesses” smiled and waved at her and some threw flower petals to her (which were actually dried scales dyed pink.)

 “You know how much she doesn’t like that,” Lilith mentioned. Charlie took the stage and began to sing.

 “But those enchantments aren’t even real,” he said. “It’s one of the ways to prepare her for her future duties as Hell’s princess.”

“And what’s the other way?”

Lucifer whispered into his wife’s ear and her eyes widened in both delight and hesitation.

“Oh that’s right. Today is also that day.”

“Surely she will enjoy getting a glimpse of what happens out in the world,” Lucifer smiled.

“But…what if it’s too much for her?”

“Too, much?” Lucifer asked. “She’s 150 now. She has to be ready. It’s a growing up right of passage that cannot wait any longer.”

 They watched Charlie take a bow as her doll demons clapped.

 “Trust me,” said Lucifer. “She’ll be delighted to witness her first…”

 “Cake!” Charlie squealed. “Oh my Satan, that’s amazing!”

 A devil’s food cake was rolled and set on a table in front of her. It had chocolate frosting (per her request), spidery snakes on the top and a fat red apple candle.

 After singing to her in their deep hellish voices saved for certain occasions, Charlie pointed her clawed finger at the candle and the flame shot into the air, bursting into red apple fireworks. The noise spooked the apparitions and the regular snakes appeared once more.

For the first half of the private party, Charlie entertained her parents by demonstrating her dancing skills up on stage. For Charlie, dancing wasn’t just a hobby: it was a way of life and a method to express her deepest feelings that she couldn’t put into words. Razzle played the grand piano and Dazzle played a violin as Charlie sang.

 As the day neared its end, the clock outside rang out twelve times. In the past years, Charlie would head upstairs to her room to watch musicals while her parents went outside for some “entertainment.” Now this time, Charlie would get a chance to be with her parents.

 “It’s a special surprise, sweetie,” said Lucifer. “Since it’s a big day for you, I’d like you to follow us.”

 He said it as if it were an order. Feeling bewildered, but still very excited, Charlie let her parents led her up the elevator and toward the uppermost balcony. Razzle and Dazzle followed close behind.

Soon, the group walked onto the balcony that overlooked the crimson sky and dark clouds of hell.

 Charlie stared out into the distance as the clock tower rang one last time.

 “I don’t see anything,” she said. “Are we waiting for fireworks? Or a rainbow?”

“Silly Charlotte,” said her mother with a smile. “You’re about to witness something even better than those things.”

 “A spectacle that you’ll gladly remember for years into your rule,” her father added.

 Charlie smiled wide, until seeing a speck of something in the distance. It looked like a circle of white light that slowly grew larger into the shape of a portal.

 “Huh?” she asked.

 Lucifer smiled. “Charlotte, welcome to your first Extermination.”

 Then…a swarm of dark flying creatures burst out of the portal. The shadowy figures rained down on the city below. Charlie looked closer and could see they had black feathery wings, dark curved horns and glowing white halos on their heads. Each one carried variations of spears, harpoons and other weapons in their hands.

 “What are those things?” she asked.

“They’re angels,” said her mother.

“Angels?” she asked. “You mean like the ones in human myths?”

“No, dear,” said Lucifer, his grin wide. “These are no myths.”

 All of a sudden, one flew close by and Charlie reeled back in fright. The angel that glided past had an LED mask on with a large sinister grin and an x over its right eye. The angel threw the spear in his hand, and the weapon struck a large parrot-like demon in the heart. The bird let out a shrill squawk as it plummeted to the ground.

Charlie glanced down at the streets and let out a sharp gasp.

 Down below, demons of all shapes and sizes scattered from the onslaught of angels descending on them like hungry vultures. A demon with three heads was unfortunate enough to have a harpoon struck through all his heads, causing the creature to collapse. Two other angels were choking a red dragon demon, the creature’s eye bulging. Two hellhounds whined in pain as electricity from another spear struck them both in the backs. The bipedal canines crashed to the ground and did not move again.

Nothing but screams, robotic laughter, and carnage. The longer she watched, the more frightened Charlie became. Soon, the rotten stench of death filled her nostrils.

She glanced back at her parents casually watching the show from their chairs like it was a musical.

Tears sprang from Charlie’s eyes.

“What is all this?! Why are you showing me this?”

“It’s a yearly extermination to reduce the population of sinners once a year,” explained Lilith. It was like she was talking about the weather.

“Those are our people!” she cried. “And you’re just letting this happen?!”

“There’s no need to act so brash,” Lucifer scolded. “It’s just a natural way of ensuring that evil gets a through cleansing.”

“Cleansing? This is murder!”

“Sadly, it’s a necessary act,” Lilith added.

“As you know, I was once an angel,” said Lucifer. “I was banished down here and nearly killed myself. But then God, the angels and myself came to an agreement. The Exterminators could kill citizens in Hell once every year, while we, the royal family, would be left alone. It does make sense, considering we are the most powerful individuals here.”

Charlie took several ragged breaths. “What’s so special about us? What about them?!” She pointed down toward the fleeing demons rushing into cars, stores, and even dumpsters to try and get away. Down over at the poor section of Imp City, the imps were even less lucky. The one ones who could escape were ones with enough proficiency to create small portals or to shapeshift into Exterminators to trick them.

 “This is Hell, Charlotte,” Lucifer said, eyes narrowing in frustration. “Suffering is what those lowlife scum deserve to experience. Just be lucky that we don’t have to deal with that.”

 “Vaggie,” Charlie breathed almost in a whisper, already concerned about her friend.

 “Now stop fooling around and embrace this momentous occasion,” said Lucifer.

 “No,” Charlie said.

“Excuse me?” asked Lucifer, eyebrows raised.

“NO!” she cried, tears running down her face. Her eyes turned red and her long horns emerged from her head. “I’m not gonna sit here and let more of my people die. I can’t believe you hid this from me all these years!”

 Charlie summoned Razzle and Dazzle and the two goats lifted her up and carried her down to the streets.

 “GET BACK HERE AT ONCE!” Lucifer bellowed.

Ignoring her father, Charlie landed down on the cracked asphalt, nearly stepping on a severed horned demon head. Razzle and Dazzle hovered nearby.

She saw three angels corner a frightened cat demon with a spotted brown face who held her paws up. Spears pointed toward her head and heart, the feline gave one last sorrowful meow.

“HEY!” Charlie bellowed in her demonic voice. She was seeing red. Her black shoes clacked against the pavement. “STAY AWAY FROM MY PEOPLE!”

The three angels turned at the same time, their eyes glowing red and teeth spread out when spotting her. The cat demon scurried up the wall with her claws and leaped from roof to roof out of sight.

 Flames receding from her body, horns shrinking back, Charlie backed up in fear and gulped as the angels advanced, their weapons at the ready. Razzle and Dazzle shuddered and held on tightly to Charlie’s hands. Just as the angels threw the spears and Charlie closed her eyes…

 She heard a sickening thud.

The spears had struck a pair of black fiery wings. The spears vanished in flames before flaming swords materialized out of thin air. The angels were struck by the swords, causing them to back up.

Lucifer’s eyes were red, his temporary black wings made from his enchanted snakes merged together.

“LEAVE.”

His demonic voice could stop the heartbeats of an entire group.

 Charlie slowly stood up once the angels had retreated and stared into Lucifer’s glowing red eyes. He slowly turned his head toward her. Though he was furious with her, she could see a small tear roll down his cheek before being evaporated by the heat.

“IF YOU EVER DO SOMETHING FOOLISH LIKE THAT AGAIN, I’LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER LEAVE OUR MANSION. YOU WILL BE GROUNDED UNTIL THIS PLACE FREEZES OVER. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”

Charlie nodded with a whimper.

“YOU WILL ACCEPT YOUR ROLE WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.”

 Charlie glanced over toward a group of demons and gasped. As her father raised his hand toward her, something inside Charlie stirred. A peculiar feeling in her temple, just between her eyes began to tingle with warmth. It was almost as if time stood still.

 When Charlie stared hard at the three homeless demons from a distance, she could almost see their faces briefly morph into their formerly human ones from their past lives: a white skinned bearded man with a bottle of alcohol in his hand, a mother with a cut-up face in torn prostitute clothing, a sobbing blonde boy in the mother’s lap just learning how to use a gun…

 Before Charlie could say anything, a glowing magenta pentagram surrounded her and she was transported back to her room with Razzle and Dazzle.

   Progression (Vaggie)

Vaggie couldn’t believe her eyes. Being so overwhelmed the day before with dying and becoming an Exterminator, she hardly had time to admire the shimmering city in the clouds.

 But now, as she made her way to the armory for her training session, she couldn’t help but stare in wonder.

 The architecture of the buildings ranged from Victorian mansions, to modern tech buildings made of glass and metal, to grand temples made of gold and silver, devoted to various gods, but mostly to Jesus. The streets were spotless and the roads were made of polished obsidian that was always smooth. Solar panels lay on every roof, powered by the sun. In the center of Holy City stood a mighty cathedral made of marble, reminiscent of Notre Dame. Several roman-style fountains were scattered around the city. One was a statue of Mary and Jesus as a little boy.

 Looming like Mount Olympus stood God’s palace, made of gold and precious stones, the gates made of indestructible diamond. A nearby garden connected to the palace housed the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge, guarded by several angels and a golden dragon.

 What was perhaps more intriguing were the citizens themselves. Some of them resembled typical white-winged angels: blonde or light colored hair, pale white faces with red blushes on their cheeks and yellow soulful eyes. Ironically, many of them had razor sharp teeth. The clothing they wore varied just as much as the outfits in Hell, coming from many periods throughout time. She noticed a dozen different ones: Roman tunics, medieval dresses and suits of armor, Egyptian clothing made of silk, top hats and suits from the 1900s. Some of the more casual people even wore modern jeans and t-shirts.

 Like in Hell, other angels had characteristics of animals and items. Vaggie spotted men with dove wings, women with white swan feathers for hair, and dozens of bipedal cats and dogs getting along just fine. A few other angels had heads of flowers and some had the heads of lyres, trumpets, and other musical instruments. None of them had to worry about falling; they could either fly or walk on air. There were several mythical creatures as well, including dragons, a few unicorns, fairies, and Thunderbirds.

 Several angels were in a circle in the sky, dancing the kumbaya and singing prayers while holding hands. Vaggie felt some nostalgia, remembering when she would wear brightly colored festival dresses for Cumbia dances and family events. She remembered dancing with her parents and extended family as upbeat Hispanic music played. How she longed for the taste of steamy quesadillas and juicy fresh fruit.

 Just where were her parents? And how safe could she really feel, even in paradise? The last thing Vaggie needed was to be gang-raped and murdered a second time by a bunch of beastly homophobic men.

  In the city around her, angels worked in ordinary jobs, especially in churches. There were also a few mosques, Buddhist temples and synagogues, but paled in comparison to the number of Christian places of worship. Volunteers and charity workers labored by the dozens, sending out food, blessings and miracles to the homeless and those residing in the lower levels of Heaven.

 Already, Vaggie was feeling like some sort of outsider.

 A small portal opened up to another heaven next door. Vaggie could see a glass building with bluish stained glass windows and classic art inside. A large sign on the roof read “Haven Hotel.” A bunch of angels were lining up and receiving white-winged keys in their hands. The portal closed before Vaggie could observe further.

 Soon, Vaggie reached the armory, a building shaped like a small white fortress. She stood at attention next to several angels, already fitted in their black Exterminator uniforms, black wings and LED masks. Vaggie looked and saw two muscular angels carry out a brown chest with planetary symbols on it. They opened it up and there lay dozens of sharpened harpoons, spears, and swords in neat rows. They were new weapons to be used for the time after the Purge in the next year. After a brief prayer, the recruits were called up in alphabetical order by a slender angel with long blonde hair and a light blue suit to retrieve a weapon of their choice. Gabriel stood next to Samael, the leader of the Archangels. He had red/brown curly hair and pulled out the flaming sword weapon he already had. Michael, another Archangel Leader, held a sword of his own: Excalibur, the weapon that defeated Lucifer. Raphael, the healer angel with long brown hair stood in the distance to watch.

 Samael called out the names of both new and old warriors one by one.

 “Azrael.”

Azrael was the first angel. He strode up and picked out a scythe, then pulled a hood over his head of long dark hair.

 “Camael. Cassiel. Dumah. Haniel. Hafineal. Israfil. Jegudiel. Jerahmael. Japhiel.”

 Vaggie yawned.

 “Kepherel. Munkar and Nakir. Metatron. Raguel. Ramiel. Raziel. Sandalphon. Sarathiel. Selaphiel.”

 The list went on and on.

 “Uriel. Uziel. Zachariel. Zadkiel. Zaphael. Zephaiel.”

 Finally Samael said “Vagathaiel…um, Vagatha? Is that right?”

 Vaggie looked up. “It’s Vaggie.”

 “Right. Come on up.”

Vaggie strode forward, ignoring the murmurs and whispers of her colleagues. It was embarrassing enough to be the last one chosen on accident, not to mention the only female angel in the group.

 Vaggie picked up the only weapon left in the chest, a harpoon spear. It felt good in her hands…like she was meant to wield it. Vaggie walked back to stand next to an angel with blonde unruly short hair, dressed in white.

“I’m Sam,” said the angel. “Many people call me Samael, but the real one is up there.”

 He mentioned to the lead Angel of Death: Samael. He had long flaming red hair, a white face, and crimson eyes. A scar ran along his neck. He enjoyed tormenting sinners more than anyone. He morphed into Exterminator form.

 “Welcome to training session and orientation. After our recent successful Extermination, it is now time to review what went well and discuss methods to increase efficiency.”

 Vaggie and the others flew thirty laps around a group of clouds then sat down for a lecture. The lecture covered Heaven’s history, Exterminator origins and the fall of Lucifer.

 For the next half, Vaggie practiced on using her weapon. She threw her harpoon at a demon training dummy at various distances. She worked on blocking, stances, aim, and flying patterns. At other times, she worked with other angels in a group.

 “Strike the head, between the eyes, the chest, abdomen and back,” Samael advised as he walked, observing the practicing soldiers. “Never get too close to some demons: their bites are venomous.” To others: “Swipe your weapon at the legs to trip your enemy. Keep a firm grip on your weapon. Follow orders and stick with at least two other angels during a raid.”

He continued: “If not enough demons are exterminated, then you all will have to repent for your failure of duty for three to seven days. Excitement of Ten Commandments, community service, fasting etc. Yes, I know we are all dead, but that doesn’t matter to the All Mighty Yahweh. Serve Him and happiness will serve you.” Samael showed a row of sharp teeth and a few angels flinched. “If you kill too many and linger too long and the portals will close and you’ll be trapped in Hell for a year. Either way, the demons must know their place, least they feel the need to bring war to Heaven.”

 He glared and stopped where Vaggie was.

 “Vagatha, your stance is way off. You need to spin faster when attacking multiple demons at once. Let your instincts move your body. And show less mercy to them or you’ll be begging for some during flogging, flying laps and scrubbing!”

Vaggie worked harder, feeling the pressures of this strange Heaven boot camp that felt like a living Hell.

After the intense training, they reviewed the Nine Circles of Hell, the seven sins and the seven virtues.

Vaggie was glad when the session was over at the start of twilight. Fortunately, she only had to attend six long days every other week (Sunday was rest day), as soldiers went on shifts. Walking into her designated home, Vaggie took off her uniform and tossed the mask aside, the creepy grin face staring at the ceiling. She concentrated, clearing her mind and the uniform appeared back on. Focusing again, the uniform came off next to her. She placed her weapon against the wall, not too far from reach. She lay down on a comfortable bed in a small house, which looked like the place she lived in when she was a human. In fact, other angels were living in different spots, in places that resembled their environment in their past lives. Colorful dresses and gothic outfits were neatly folded in nearby drawers. Punk rock posters from 90s bands were already hung up in her room. All of her favorites: Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Green Day, Blink 182. A nearby iPod had those songs along with Cumbia, Salsa, Reggae and other music from her parent’s home country.

 Vaggie was starting to feel creeped out. Everything seemed…too perfect. The room was mocking her, displaying her favorite things from her past…even an exact replica of a portrait of her and her parents! Her mother and father, both with dark hair, wearing practical clothing. Her as a little girl with light brown skin, long black hair, and both of her brown eyes. Her birth certificate was even in another drawer: “Vagatha Gonzales, New Mexico, May 10 1992 to September 11 2014. Age 22.”

 She sobbed.

She screamed.

 She ripped out chunks of her long white hair.

  “My life…or death is not the same anyone! I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like it is. Fuck you!” she yelled to no one in particular.

Vaggie sighed in exhaustion. She wasn’t sure what would happen next. She missed her parents and her previous girlfriend. She missed music and soccer and martial arts. If only she could go back to worrying about jobs and kicking douchebag boys in the nuts. She never asked to be an Angel of Death with a possibility of going to Hell.

 She buried her face in her hands. “What have I gotten myself into?”

   Contemplation (Charlie)

The young demon princess lay down on her queen-size bed, complete with an apple-shaped headboard, velvet red sheets and matching curtains. Her room was a blend of a vampire’s room and a little girl’s room: among the spider webs and skulls along a dresser were drawings of unicorns and bottles of makeup. Drawings of demons holding hands hung from old branches sticking out from inside the wall. One drawing showed a smiling Charlie and Vaggie in between her parents. Scattered among the dark red walls were rainbow paint splotches and a painted sketch of a flower. A typed motto of “Don’t worry, be happy” was taped to the side of a mirror.

 But on this particular day, the usually happy-go-lucky girl found it hard to be positive.

 “He…called me a failure,” she said softly. Razzle and Dazzle nudged her head affectionately, their faces full of concern.

“Just before sending me here,” Charlie said. She stared at a crumpled piece of paper with her drawing of a hotel on it. The sign read “Happy Hotel” but the page was ripped thanks to Lucifer’s accusing claw tearing through it.

 He had paced back and forth, clearly frustrated. “Ever since your foolish fiasco on your birthday last week, you’ve been…shall I say…frying my nerves with your random ideas.”

“What’s bad about a hotel that redeems sinners?” Charlie had asked.

“I’ll tell you what’s bad about it…everything! First, there is no hope for those low-class demon trash. They were sent down here for a reason; because there’s no chance for them to ever change their ways.”

“Dad, that’s not true…”

“Second,” he interrupted, “You’re supposed to keep up an important reputation as heir to the throne. No one will take you seriously again if you blab on and on about some fantasy you insist upon.”

“It can be true, though!” Charlie replied. “I’ve seen what those demons are like. Sure, they did bad things, but everyone deserves a second chance.”

“There are some people who don’t get second chances,” Lucifer answered, with a faraway look in his eyes. “And that also applies to those people out there. It’s just the way afterlife works, Charlotte.”

“What if, it doesn’t have to always be that way? There is a more humane way of reducing overpopulation without all the senseless slaughtering…”

“There is no other way!” Lucifer said, raising his voice. Charlie flinched back a bit. “If hell becomes overcrowded, then God and the Angels will not hesitate to eliminate the threat: us.”

He paused. The king hadn’t considered the possibility of a second death before…the final journey to the void.

“Dad, listen, I know it sounds far-fetched, but I’m confident that my idea will work. I just need to spread the word about the Happy Hotel.”

“And embarrass yourself and our legacy? Along with putting yourself in danger?!”

“I can defend myself, easily!”

“You may be powerful, but this place crawls with overlords and who knows what else that will kill you.”

“But we’re already dead.”

“No. I was born an angel, near immortal. You were born here in Hell. If you want to be able to have a stable future here, you will stop with your nonsense.”

“I’m not going to give up. I know there’s a rainbow inside every demonic soul. I’ve seen…”

She hesitated, debating on whether to tell him about the anguished human faces she had seen during the last purge.  

“…humanity,” she finished.

As if reading her mind, Lucifer leaned in close, flames in his yellow eyes. “Do not think like an inferior human mortal. Humans are nothing but temporary bland prototypes to demons. All arrogant, not worthy of divine respect.”

“Have you even met a human?”

“I’ve learned enough about them to stick to my conclusion.”

“Many humans are good, just like other demons can be. Demons, after all, used to be human! Maybe they can become human again.  Redeemed souls will be sent to Heaven and everybody wins! No more killings, no more sorrow. Enough with the “us versus them” speech. You will join me in paradise, Dad, then you’ll see.”

Lucifer growled, and flicked his daughter backward across the hall with his power. She landed on her butt and back with a surprised yelp of pain, as Razzle and Dazzle lifted her up off the floor.

 “THERE IS NO PARIDISE FOR ME,” he boomed in his deep demonic voice, eyes red. It sent chills up Charlie’s spine. “NO HAPPY ENDING FOR ANYONE.” He sighed heavily. “The sooner you realize that, the better. You and the other demons will never leave Hell, I’ll make sure of it.”

Charlie’s mind began to whirl. What did he mean by that?

 Charlie began to speak but her father held up a hand. “Not another word. One thing is for certain: based on your actions thus far, you are nothing but a failure.”

Tears pooled in Charlie’s eyes. “You…you don’t mean that, do you?”

Lucifer pointed toward Charlie’s room and then looked away. “Get…get out of my sight.”

Charlie could only stand frozen in disbelief and sadness as her father departed down the hall, staff in hand.

  After tossing the worn paper aside, Charlie turned around and sobbed into her pillow. Later on, she sang a lament while walking to her balcony outside. Razzle and Dazzle even howled mournfully with her as she sang. It was the only way for her to truly express herself and let out her emotions.

   “Why am I such a failure?

It always seems to be

Destined for the throne, yet I feel so alone

What is truly best for me?”

 “Happiness lies at the end of the rainbow

Feeling like that’s the place to go

An endless distance, out of reach here

Lost in emptiness, foreshadowing fear”

 “Inside of every demon is a soul (is a soul)

Trapped by events beyond their control (their control)

I try to help and brighten their day (to find their way)

But my hopes and dreams fade far away”

 “Seeing the light in the darkness

In this world I’m blind

I wonder why I cling to hope

For those cruel and unkind”

 “Goodness beneath the surface

Redemption beyond the mask

What is my role, my purpose?

How can I complete my task?”

 “Peace, love, is all I ask

(Oooh, oooh, oooh)

Peace and love, is all I ask

(Oooh, oooh, oooh)

All I ask…”

 “Inside of every demon is a soul (is a soul)

Trapped by events beyond their control (their control)

I try to help and brighten their day (to find their way)

But my hopes and dreams fade far away”

  Extermination (Vaggie)

 It was now time for Vaggie to put her skills she had learned to the test. One year had passed and the time for the Purge was upon her. Despite being a newbie in comparison with everyone else, Vaggie had become one of the best fighters among the Exterminators. The fateful day soon came, and Vaggie lined up in position with the other Archangels. All dressed in black. Vaggie’s harpoon was in her right hand. She had requested that her wings stay white, with the red line through them like her hair. Although she didn’t like to think of herself as a murderer, she told herself that it was for the greater good. Sinners would get what they deserved and balance and cleansing would be brought to Hell.

 The angels all saluted when Samael strutted over. He had a black scythe in his hand, black flames rising from the blade. His red hair was tied back in a tight ponytail, his dark uniform, horns and mask ready for use. He walked over to Vaggie, approval in his eyes. “Your dedication to the Lord has been commendable. You’ve adapted well from your previous novice status. As such, I now assign you with an additional task.”

 He continued, “You are to spy on Hell’s princess Charlotte, find her, and make her surrender to us. Be wary of her pyro kinetic powers. If she does not comply, you are to kill her on sight before the days end.”

 Vaggie silently gulped as she saluted.

 “But,” Samael added. “Don’t forget about the other demons. And…do not try to reason with Lucifer. The traitor and his promiscuous queen sealed their fates long ago.”

 “Yes sir,” said Vaggie.

 Samael nodded and walked toward the front to address the winged assassins.

“Remember to aim for the head, chest, groin and pressure points. Show no mercy to anyone or anything. May the Lord bless you and all your endeavors. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit will reside in our souls always. May He deliver us from all evil. Amen.”

 “Amen!” the angels repeated.

 Michael waved Excalibur and a round portal to Hell appeared against the white clouds. Samael led the way and the angels filed through, Vaggie following close behind.

   Vaggie descended into the crimson chaotic world. The Big Ben-like clock tower rang twelve times, the *BONG* *BONG* rings echoing like hell’s bells of doom. The citizens screamed and scattered and scurried in the streets below. The angels were black vultures, circling around their prey. The thrust their spears forward. One angel managed to stab through two chubby orange demons like a gruesome shish kabab. Another demon in a black and white stripped outfit fired a gun at an angel to no effect. The demon teased the angel by appearing and disappearing around him. The trickster’s antics were cut short by a well-fired bolt of electricity through the demon. Two spears crisscrossed through the paralyzed frazzled demon, finishing him off for good.

 Vaggie flew down and landed on the ground, stomping after other demons. One demon climbed up a tree, Vaggie followed it, lifting herself up, spear in her mouth and swinging up the branches. She sliced off the demon’s blue head then landed gracefully on the ground on one knee. Standing up, she spotted a red vampire with black wings. She threw her spear and the creature was struck down in a splash of blood. Retrieving her spear, she attacked other demons that got too close…or ones who ran in her line of sight.

 “CLEANSE! CLEANSE! CLEANSE!” The chants rang out like a constant war cry.  A demon held a sign that read “Fuck you, Heaven!” in large red letters. Nearby, demons with six arms held up protest signs which displayed hellish slogans on them: “God spelled backwards is Dog!” “Hail Lord Lucifer, our true savior!” “Salvation, Sex, Substances, and Slaying.” “Asshole Archangels Suck Dick!” “Go Home Jesus, We’re Drunk As Shit!”

  Vaggie quickly made short gory work of them.

 Then, Vaggie saw some things that made her freeze. A green frog demon was nursing a wounded doll child back to health. A long dark green snake demon hung motionless from a streetlight, looking like a piece of thick string in the shadows. Whining could be heard from a gray teenage hellhound wearing a black tank top in the middle of a road. She was kneeling next to the furry corpse of her hellhound boyfriend. She lifted up her head and howled in sorrow. Small mouse demons scampered away in fright when they saw Vaggie.

Vaggie stared at her bloodstained hands. “Have I truly become a remorseless monster?”

 “CLEANSE! CLEANSE! CLEANSE!” The shouts pounded through the dark among the sounds of breaking glass, screeching cars, demonic laugher and the flickering of flames.

 Vaggie’s gut clenched. There was no way she could kill these souls. They did bad things, yes…but surely there was still some light in them. “I never fully believed all they taught me,” she thought. Heaven isn’t perfect at all. It’s ignorant and exclusionary! How could I have followed through with that for so long?”

 Around midway through the Purge, Vaggie finally spotted the person she was looking for. The demon princess with her long curly blond hair and pal face was looking forlornly from a balcony. She was wearing a red Victorian style dress with apple designs along the ends of the long dress.

Clearing her throat, Vaggie flapped over to her, spear at the ready. The girl’s eyes grew wide as she approached. Vaggie’s outfit morphed from plain black to an elongated version of her usual stripped leggings and white tank top with Xs over her breasts. Still, she kept her mask on, her horns extended in slight curves. The girl turned to run, but Vaggie waved her hand and the doors locked. She spoke in an emotionless voice, “Princess Charlotte.”

“W-what do you want?” Charlie asked, her voice tremoring in fear.

“I have arrived here on behalf of my leaders and the word of God. You are to surrender yourself peacefully and come with me. You are now an official prisoner of Heaven.”

Tears welled up in Charlie’s yellow eyes. “N-no! I can’t leave Hell and my people. I can’t leave my family!”

“I will resort to physical force if necessary.”

Flames erupted around Charlie and her straight black horns protruded from her head. No other words were needed to get the intention across.

Vaggie raised her spear. “If you won’t come with me…then perish!”

Charlie flinched back. “Leave me alone and hear me out!”

 Vaggie stared longer at Charlie. She lowered her weapon. She wasn’t allowed to feel emotion for any demon, let alone the princess of Hell.

 But this…peculiar feeling of warmth…was something new. Like a trace of her humanity was rising to the surface.

 Charlie stood up, breathing a small sigh of relief.

“I don’t want my people to be slaughtered every year. It truly breaks my heart. I know there’s good in everyone…including you.”

Vaggie lowered her head.

Charlie continued. “I am proposing a way to redeem sinners by introducing a new hotel to help them reform.”

She mentioned to the building she was in, the one with the sign that read “Happy Hotel” in large pink lit up letters on the roof.

“I’ve tried for months but no one listens to me. It’s like I don’t really belong here. If you believe that there’s a soul in everyone…if you have a heart…”

 Vaggie stood, conflicted. She had been taught to ignore pleas and cries of mercy. But this was different. It appeared that Charlie felt like an outcast as well…

…and the rare humanity that she showed, despite her status as the daughter of Satan himself.

“I…I…can’t do it!”

She dropped her spear and collapsed to her knees.

 Transformation (Charlie)

 Charlie did all she could to promote her hotel. Nobody would listen. No matter how many songs she sung, art she created or speeches she made, she’d always be ignored, taunted, ridiculed or even threatened. Food would be thrown at her as demons booed. Her rival Hesla called her a crazed Barbie bitch. Aaron von Eldritch, her former tall green boyfriend, son of Helsa, told her to get a grip and to “start being the pretty, polite, and passive princess she was before.” Out of a new desire to be with a caring woman partner, Charlie broke up with him. Her parents were not pleased.

 Lucifer was vivid when he heard the news. “You’ve just severed a valuable alliance with the Eldriches. Now they’re our rivals. We can’t afford to have more competition against us than we already have. A family like theirs could easily turn the tides against us when they badmouth us to our citizens!”

 Lilith was disappointed as well and a little surprised with her daughter. “You want to date girls now?” she asked. “How will you raise your heir in the next two centuries?”

 “Yes,” Charlie said. “I love both men and women. I don’t see what the problem is.”

 The only one who’s the problem is you,” Lucifer seethed. “You’ve never done anything right for so long and, frankly, I’m getting tired of your teenage nonsense. Break away from your petty fantasies, stop tainting our legacy…” his eyes turned red, voice lowered… “And… Grow. The. Fuck. Up.”

Charlie raced into her room, crying fresh tears as she wondered over to the balcony. Lilith was chiding her husband in a harsh voice over how hard he was on her. Charlie looked away when she heard the clock ring out.

 Now here she was, with an Exterminator angel sobbing at her feet.

Charlie stared as the angel slowly stood up, picked up her spear, and then removed her mask. A beautiful angelic face appeared, light gray skin, long white hair, a yellow eye, and white shimmering wings. “I am Vaggie, but people call me Vagatha.”

“I am Charlie, but people call me Charlotte.”

“It sounds too formal,” they both said at the same time.

They looked at each other some more, surprised to find they had so much in common on their first meeting day.

Vaggie spoke up. “I was sent here to restrain you or kill you so you wouldn’t be a threat to Heaven. But now…that’s the last thing I want to do.”

“So…you’re not going to kill me?” Charlie asked.

Just then, Samael spoke telepathically to Vaggie. “Based on my observations, the princess cannot be reckoned with. Exterminate her and return to the portal. Over.”

Vaggie gulped.

“What’s wrong?” asked Charlie.

Vaggie looked around frantically. A few other angels stood in mid- air, watching her and waiting to see what she would do next.

“I really can’t do it…” Vaggie said, her body shaking. Charlie comforted her with an embrace. Vaggie stood, stunned, but briefly returned it. Both of them were bonding…and gradually falling in love.

Samael’s voice rang through her mind, making her flinch back. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING, VAGATHA?! FINISH HER OFF AND RECONVENE WITH YOUR ASSOCIATES AT ONCE!”

Vaggie put her mask back on and stepped back. “I promise, Charlie, I will do whatever I can to help you out. Everyone deserves second chances.” She flew off.

   Damnation (Vaggie)

Vaggie flew toward the open portal. The angels turned their heads and their eyes glowed red. Samael pulled out his black scythe. Vaggie stood in front of him.

Samael pointed behind her. “Get back down there if you know what’s good for you. Kill her, or I’ll do it myself.”

“No,” said Vaggie.

 Vaggie couldn’t believe the word flew out of her mouth. Her thoughts were faster than common sense. Vaggie could no longer hide behind the metaphorical mask of indifference, nor her physical mask over her face. Vaggie took off the black abomination and tossed it to the ground far below.

Samael’s eyes gleamed dangerously red. “What did you just say?”

Vaggie pushed down her fear. “I said, NO!”

Samael growled, showing sharp teeth. “You dare disobey a direct order given to you?”

Vaggie pointed down to Charlie on the balcony. “Charlie wants to rehabilitate sinners and bring them to Heaven! Why should I stop her from pursuing such a merciful goal?”

 Samael leaned in. “You should know that we do not accept any sinners. They are inferior to us, plotting our destruction at every moment. Even God has limits on who He can let in.”

 Vaggie clenched her fists. “But that’s not just! Slaughtering people without giving them a second chance. I’ve seen bad demons, yes, but others are just innocent families that are poor shadows of who they once were on Earth. Whatever happened to “love thy neighbor?” “Love thine enemy?” Why would God just turn people away?”

“Because,” Samael stated, “They’re monstrous scum. Filthy bugs and maggots who need to be eliminated. They’ll kill us all if their numbers are too great.”

 Vaggie shook her head. “Charlie has shown more humanity in her soul than anyone I’ve met. And I’ve only just met her today!” Vaggie stood, defiant and filled with a new purpose. “I refuse to continue with my mission.” But her confidence wavered as more red eyed, angels closed in on her. “Blasphemy…mutiny…” they muttered, emotionless behind creepy grinning masks. One by one, they pointed their weapons at her.  

If you won’t obey the will of Christ and God…” Samael held out his hand…”then you’ll burn in Hell just like the rest!”

 From down below, Charlie gasped in terror. Vaggie screamed in agony as her gray skin peeled away in chunks. Her spiked white halo broke in little pieces above her head. Her horns and dark uniform vanished. Worst of all, her beautiful white wings rapidly caught fire, burning off feathers that flew to the ground, some stained with blood. Soon her wings were completely burned away, the remains turning into streams of multicolored light that vanished.

Vaggie plummeted to the ground with loud screams, spear still clutched in her hand.

“Vaggie!” Charlie cried.

Samael rushed at Charlie at lightning speed, weapon raised, but someone else was faster.

Lucifer landed a punch that sent Samael flying backwards in an arch. He flew after the angel with six black wings that materialized from his body. His eyes glowed demonic red. He spoke in a deep voice that shook the ground and seeded sheer terror to anyone who heard it.

“NO ONE TOUCHES MY DEAR DAUGHTER! RUN YOU COWARDLY PIECE OF SHIT, OR I’LL DESTROY YOU WITH A FLICK OF MY FINGERS!”

Samael and the angels retreated into the portal and it soon closed.

“This isn’t over, Lucifer!” came Michael’s voice before the portal completely snapped shut.

Charlie jumped off the balcony, her body surrounded by flames. She caught Vaggie before she hit the ground.

 Vaggie opened her eyes, now in base demon form, a large pink X over her left eye. White tank top and leggings, back to regular size. She gave Charlie a sad smile before passing out.

 Restoration (Charlie)

Vaggie woke up in a comfortable bed in the Happy Hotel. She opened her eyes and saw Charlie standing nearby. Her back and hands were bandaged up, her hair spread apart like resting moth wings.

“Charlie?” she grumbled.

“Yes, I’m here,” said Charlie sounding relieved.

“Thank you for saving me like that,” Vaggie said. “But…why would you do that? I’m your enemy.”

“Not any more. You’re my new friend,” Charlie mentioned. “I don’t want anyone to suffer, not even one of the Exterminators.”

Vaggie sighed, feeling her back. It felt naked and vulnerable without her wings.

“Well, I’m not anymore.” She glanced at her spear, leaning against the wall. “But at least I still have my spear. I think they let me keep it in the hopes I would repent and kill more demons. Which won’t happen,” she added. “But make no mistake. I will strike anyone down who lays a harmful hand on you. You’re too good for this world. Me though…I’ll never be redeemed.”

Charlie smiled and placed a small kiss on Vaggie’s head. She picked up a discarded pink bow and put it on Vaggie’s head of white hair. “You can redeem yourself,” Charlie said. “By helping others redeem themselves. Help me with this hotel. This is your new destiny. Our new destiny. We can live a new afterlife together, and we can get through whatever comes at us.”

Vaggie believed her words with all her soul. Then she glanced down, sadly.

“What is it?” Charlie asked.

“I didn’t get to see my family in Heaven.”

“I’m sorry,” said Charlie. “You must miss them. You were human once, right?”

Vaggie nodded.

“I was born here in Hell, but I can understand how you must feel. I promise we can make things right for both worlds. I’ve seen for myself that humanity can exist even in the blackest hearts.”

Vaggie sighed. “Not sure if I can agree with that part, but let’s see how it goes. You’ll need me to keep you grounded.”

Charlie rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me, I’m still grounded by my parents. I broke up with this guy and challenged my parents’ opinions.”

“Do you feel guilty about it?” Vaggie asked.

“Sometimes I do,” Charlie admitted.

Then she squeezed Vaggie’s hand affectionately. Vaggie squeezed back. “But for now, I wouldn’t have this moment any other way.”

Vaggie laughed. “What do you see in the future, crazy girl?”

Charlie just smiled. “Rainbows inside every demon.”

[imbellarosa]

Good Omens

Okay so I wrote a thing on the book a while ago, and I reread the book about a week before the show came up and I LOVED IT AGAIN BUT. I’m going to take a more critical eye now. Before we start, I’m going to say that id do a rewatch of the show. It’s gorgeously made, and most of the characters are compelling, and the story is brilliant, as always, if a bit different. So over all, for me, 8/10. Good? Good!

Now! Let’s start w the parts I didn’t love:

1.) the narration. This is zero surprise to the people who have been following as I watch this, but I think that if I’m watching a story through a visual medium, I’d like to WATCH it, not have the book read to me w pretty pictures over it. Episode 5/6 have the least narration and are, no surprise, some of my favorite episodes!

2.) Newt and Anathema. These characters had the least amount of life and were...not funny. I think that too much time was spent on them, and there was no real justification for it. They work (sort of) in the book, but I think they could have cut most of their scenes in episode 4, put more heaven/hell dynamic/ Adam’s arc, and had a stronger episode for it.

3.) Jon Hamm was tragically under used. Gabriel wasn’t a character in the book, really, but if your going to have JON HAMM play someone, and do it well - he did it really well - flesh him out a bit! They would have had less random angels, but this one really brilliant actor/character should have had more time!

4.) Adam’s transition to darkness. It felt. Really sudden. Like - he saw the picture of Satan and was like “yup I’m evil”. They didn’t mention the really powerful part of this story: he wanted to make the people he loved happy. And I love how in the book, he doesn’t hurt his friends - he would NEVER. In fact, it’s when he realizes that the world isn’t his - it’s THEIRS - that he comes back to himself. I LOVE THAT ARC, because it is LITERALLY "the road to hell is paved with good intentions", and I also love the kids that played the Them, and I think that they should have had that nuance.

5.) Episode 4. Just. Way too random and a mash of mostly unnecessary scenes.

6.) They tried for whimsy, and sometimes it worked (Freaky Friday was great!) and sometimes it just...didn't (Shadwell's finger - like. wtf)

Okay! So here are some bits that confused me a bit?

1.) the sudden tone shifts - I honestly didn’t know that Aziraphale and Crowley had been dating the whole time until episode 3? And I don’t think that Neil Gaiman did either. Also, I didn’t know if some of the scenes were being played for a laugh or not, and that’s sometimes because the words and the score/tone didn’t match.

2.) the whales thing. It popped up like...several times, and while I’m a Star Trek fan and I appreciate the references, I was starting to feel like it was a bit of a Chekhov’s gun, and it never went off.

3.) shadwell, as a character. That’s it. That confuses me greatly.

4.) Armeggdon means the end of everything, right? Bc that’s what it means in the book? So I was SUPER CONFUSED when Crowley kept suggesting they run away?? Like...okay, cool, but you’ll just die out in the stars vs on earth. I don’t think it was ever explained that it was just earth that was ending. In fact, Crowley explicitly said that after the end of the world all that would be left was eternity, not “eternity and the stars”, so while I LOVE ineffable husbands, this plot line confused me

Now for the good! And there was so much of it!!

1.) Crowley and Aziraphale. That was easily the best and most interesting part of this show. I’ve said it in a few tags and I’ll say it again: this is a HUGE step forward for the fantasy genre. Not only are these unlikely heroes gorgeously written, but they are CANONICALLY IN LOVE, and it made this a more interesting and a deeper story. ALSO it made me engage with the source material in a different way. Which I loved, because at first I had thought that they were the tiniest bit in love, but they're not. They're MASSIVELY IN CAPITAL L LOVE, and they're willing to prove it, and they do, over and over, and it's more than magical, it's ineffable, and God thinks so too.

2.) Michael Sheen and David Tennant. If the first point was about the characters, the second is about the actors. They had so much love for these characters, and brought so much nuance to them, and they played off of each other so well, that when they were on screen, you could believe that what was happening was real. They elevated this show in such an amazing way. Also, David Tennant could have chemistry with a rock. Bravo.

3.) The scene with Adam and his father. When he was explaining what it meant to be family. This meant a lot to me personally, and I think this one, along with the scene right before it, were the best scenes of the entire show. This book, and then the show, have always been about how loyalty is based on love, and how the strongest bonds form over time and shared experiences, not because it's written somewhere (*side eyes Newt and Anathema*).

4.) The scene where Crowley stops time, and they tell Adam that no matter what he chooses, they support him PLUS Aziraphale telling Adam that he's human and that means he has a choice, and them holding his hands, because he is a scared little boy and they do love him.

5.) The fact that this story is a love letter to humanity. This should be higher on the list, but I'm typing them as I remember them, so. This story is about loving both because and in spite of. We should save the world in spite of the fact that Death is always among us. So is war, and famine, and Pollution and pestilence. We should save the world in spite of the fact that humanity can be the worst of hell. Because between all of that bad stuff, there is also incredible kindness, and love, and peace, and friendships that change you and form you. In between the worst of hell, you find the best of heaven, and in between that, you find old cars and backwoods and red boots and bookshops and families that you choose and make and let go. And if any of it is worth fixing, then all of it is worth saving, and this story understands that.

6.) The drunk scene. I've never laughed so hard as I did when David Tennant screamed that the point was dolphins.

7.) The soundtrack was art. I loved how they interwove Queen songs with these gorgeous instrumental pieces, and then the last song was just a stroke of genius.

8.) The cinemetography, sets, set pieces, and costumes were amazing. The attention to detail was phenomenal. This was a triumph for the director, the set crew, the costume department, camera crew, and, of course, the post production crew.

9.) Pepper. That's it. That's the point. She's amazing. So are the rest of the Them, of course, but Pepper? Iconic.

10.) Episode six. The whole thing was beautiful.

So I loved it. I really wanted to, but I was so scared that I wouldn't and then I DID AND IT WAS GORGEOUS. I will definitely be rewatching this soon.

[iwritesometimes]

filigods replied to your post

“thank you to the gorgeous @wordssometimesfail for tagging me in a get...”

s o n g r e c s

so THANKS (much belatedly for tolerating my fucking out of control need to word vomit about music at literally all hours of the day and night; forcing others to listen to songs i like is literally one of the few joys that makes life worth living. also, idk if this was intended in a “hey cool, song recs” way or a “hey, yeah, link me those songs” way, but @filigods, BABY YOU’RE GETTIN THOSE LINKS and also more because i am insufferable.

below the cut: links to just Some Music What I Think Is Cool, organized...pretty dubiously, but an attempt will be made. also, now and at all times, anyone who feels so inclined should always link me to music they’re liking right now or that they loved in the past or that they think is just the bee’s knees...anytime. ANYTIME.

okay so the songs i mentioned the other day are all in here, but i wanted to organize it a bit more than just a random grab bag to give you some direction so that you know what you might be into, if you’ve never heard of some of these (my music taste isn’t all that niche but i’ve gone through a lot of phases in my life XD). particular “omg please listen to this before you die” faves will be in italics.

best of pop/pop rock

stuff by Keane, My Fave Band:

“Crystal Ball”

“Won’t Be Broken”

“Sovereign Light Cafe”

“Bedshaped”

“My Shadow”

stuff by Tokio Hotel, my first RPF subjects

“Übers Ende der Welt”

“Spring nicht”

“Wo sind eure Hände”

stuff by Elliot Minor, classically trained and sadly disbanded

“Parallel Worlds”

“The White One Is Evil”

“The Broken Minor”

“Solaris”

“Shiver”

“Electric High”

stuff by Dino Merlin, Bosnia’s Elton John

“Zid”

“Sarajevo”

“Majka Ruži Kćer”

“Heroes of Earth” by Wang Leehom (listen to more of his stuff - he’s insanely talented and has albums in several different genres)

“Sun Goes Down” by David Jordan

stuff by Gorillaz, you’ve definitely heard them but may not have heard these

“Stylo”

“November Has Come”

“Feel Good Inc.”

“Broken”

“Busted and Blue”

“Du erinnerst mich an Liebe” by Ich + Ich

stuff by Josh Groban, HE’S GOOD ADMIT IT TO YOURSELVES

“Never Let Go”

“Remember When it Rained”

“You Are Loved”

“Weeping”

“Tigerlily” by La Roux (whole album’s great, but this one’s gayyyy)

“Grace Kelly” and “Origin of Love” by Mika

“Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk” by Rufus Wainwright

“Make This Go On Forever” and “Set the Fire to the Third Bar” by Snow Patrol

stuff by Owl City, the fluffiest synthpop to ever make me happy

“Fireflies”

“Swimming in Miami”

“Meteor Shower”

“Strawberry Avalanche”

“Running Up That Hill” by Placebo covering Kate Bush

“Velvet Sky” by Los Lonely Boys

“Chasing the Sun” and “Satellite Call” and “Eden” by Sara Bareilles (WHOLE ALBUM!!!)

“Kiss Me” by Sixpence None the Richer

“Sad Clown” by Jars of Clay

stuff by Michael W. Smith, i can’t help i was raised on CCM please forgive me

“Cross of Gold”

“Lamu”

“Secret Ambition”

“Breathe in Me”

“Love Me Good”

“Faith My Eyes” and “High Countries” by Caedmon’s Call

stuff by Daft Punk, FUCKING SUPERB YOU FUNKY LITTLE ROBOTS (listen to all of Discovery and Random Access Memories!!)

“One More Time”

“Aerodynamic”

“Give Life Back to Music”

“Technologic”

“These Dreams” by Heart

“Even Rats” by The Slip

“To Build a Home” by The Cinematic Orchestra

“Mandolin Rain” and “The Way It Is” by Bruce Hornsby and the Range

“I’m Still Here” by John Rzeznik

“Ue o muite arukou” by Kyu Sakamoto

“Love Me Dead” by Ludo

“Just Communication” by Two-Mix (Soundcloud link because it’s not on YT?? however, this bitchin cover is!!)

“The Book of Love” by Peter Gabriel covering the Magnetic Fields

best of rock/rap rock

stuff by linkin park, baby’s first rock band (meteora and thousand suns, BEST albums)

“Forgotten”

“Somewhere I Belong”

“Breaking the Habit”

“Iridescent” (accidentally called this “The Radiance” in the op)

“The Messenger”

“Welcome Home” by Coheed and Cambria

“Televators” by The Mars Volta

“Isolation” and “Life Must Go On” by Alter Bridge

“Nemesis” by Arch Enemy

“Like a Stone” by Audioslave

“Lonely Boy” by The Black Keys

“In One Ear” and “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” by Cage the Elephant (whole album!!)

“Jordan” by Buckethead

“Paralyzer” by Finger Eleven

stuff by Gackt, j-rock boy of my dreams since 2003

“Mirror”

“Vanilla”

“Returner”

“Orenji no Taiyou” (with Hyde)

“Through the Night” by Masahiko Arimachi

“Magick” and “It’s Not Over Yet” by Klaxons

“Deliverance” and “In Mist She Was Standing” by Opeth

stuff by Panik, my good good german boys who just couldn’t make it work

“Revolution”

“Geht ab”

“Grau”

“Perfekt”

“Morgencafe”

“Bevor du gehst”

“Careless Whisper” by Seether covering Wham!

“Seasons” by The Veer Union

“Cold” by Static X

“Change (In the House of Flies)” by Deftones

“System” by Chester Bennington

“Whipping Boy” by Train

“Chevette” and “Some Kind of Zombie” by Audio Adrenaline

“Colossal” and “Witchcraft” by Wolfmother (whole album is great)

“Whiskey in the Jar” by Metallica and “Turn the Page” by Metallica covering Bob Seger

“Gravedigger” by Dave Matthews Band

“Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls

“Icky Thump” and “Blue Orchid” by The White Stripes

“Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry

“You Shook Me All Night Long” and “Big Balls” by AC/DC (there is NO CORRECT VERSION of Big Balls on YT...sorry for the spotify link)

best of choral (most of which i’ve sung so i’m biased)/instrumental/soundtrack

Lux Aeterna and “O Magnum Mysterium” by Morten Lauridsen

The True Story of Cinderella (i was the queen in this :3)

Knock Knock and indeed anything by P.D.Q. Bach

“i thank You God for most this amazing day” and “Lux Aurumque” by Eric Whitacre

“Magnificat” by Arvo Pärt

“Set Me as a Seal” by René Clausen

“Cloudsong” and “The Heart’s Cry” by Anúna

“You Are the New Day” by The King’s Singers covering Airwaves, aka, the greatest love song of all time

“Castle in the Mist” and “You Were There” by Michiru Oshima (voc. Steven Geraghty)

“Prologue” and “The Farthest Land” by Ko Otani (the whole soundtrack is sublime, please listen to it!!!)

“The Mighty Rio Grande” and “They Move on Tracks of Never-Ending Light” by This Will Destroy You

“On the Nature of Daylight” by Max Richter (also, there’s a great mashup of this with “This Bitter Earth” by Dinah Washington)

“To Zanarkand” by Nobuo Uematsu (obviously, listen to everything the man ever wrote, but ofc my fave is the FFX OST)

“More Streets” by Zpiderflower

“I Was Born for This” by Austin Wintory (from the stellar Journey OST)

“The Ballad of Fiedler and Mundt” by Disparition

“Sex (Daedalus Remix)” by Slugabed

Castlevania malarkey

Best of “Bloody Tears”: official 1, official 2, official 3, fanmix 4

Best of “Vampire Killer”: official 1, official 2, fanmix 3

Best of “Simon’s Theme”: official 1, official 2, fanmix 3, fanmix 4

Super Castlevania IV (PLEASE listen to the whole thing but my faves): “Forest of Monsters”, “The Submerged City”, “Clockwork Mansion 2″, “The Library”, “Dracula Battle”, “Ending”

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (ditto above): “Dance of Illusions”, “Dracula’s Castle”, “Marble Gallery”, “Lost Painting”, “Dance of Pales”, “Wandering Ghosts”, “Final Toccata”

“Clotho”, “Atropos”, and “Lathesis” from the Columns OST

Zelda shenanigans

“Title Theme (Wind Waker)”

“Dragon Roost Island”

“The Great Sea”

“Main Theme (Breath of the Wild)”

“Riding (Day)”

“Riding (Night)”

“Stables”

“Kakariko Village”

“Rito Village (Day)”

“Tarrey Town”

“Maze Forest”

“Hyrule Castle” and “Hyrule Castle Interior”

okay i gotta quit - i’ve had this tab open for like a week and a half now and i just keep adding stuff. this is enough to get anybody started. i hope y’all find something you like. :)

[padawanlost]

The links to your ‘legendary’ anakin playlist never work on mobile. Is it on Spotify or somewhere else?

Hey, youcan open on mobile because it’s a side page (https://padawanlost.tumblr.com/anakinskywalkerplaylist).You won’t find anywhere else, I was playing on creating a playlist on youtubefor easier access but I didn’t have the time yet :( But, if it help, copied thelist here so it should work on mobile now.

12 Stones - World So Cold

30 Seconds to Mars - Dangerous Night

30 Seconds To Mars - Hurricane 2.0

4th Point - Sick of It All

Adele - Hello

Adele - River Lea

Adele - Rolling In The Deep

Adele - Set Fire to the Rain

Adele - Skyfall

Adele - Someone Like You

Adele - When we were young

Aida - Written in the Stars

Alanis Morissette - Uninvited

Amaral - Sin ti no soy nada

Anya Marina - All the same to me

Anya Marina - Move You

Archive - The False Foundation

Arkells - Knocking At The Door

Avicii - Hey Brother

Avril Lavigne - I’m With You

Backstage Cast - Shot Me Down

Banners - Start a Riot

Bastille - Sleepsong

Bastille - The Draw

Bastille - Things We Lost in the Fire

Beth Crowle - Red

Björk - Hunter

Black Sabbath - War Pigs

Blink 182 - I Miss You

Bon Jovi- Santa Fe

brandi carlile - the story

Breaking Benjamin - Close To Heaven

Breaking Benjamin - Dear Agony

Brian Tyler - Lokasenna

Broods - Conscious

Carrie Underwood - I Just Can’t Live A Lie

Celldweller - Frozen

Celine Dion - My heart will go on

Celtic Woman - Amazing Grace

Chevelle - Red

Chihiro Onitsuka - This Silence is Mine

Christina Aguilera - Hurt

Clean Bandit - Rockabye

Clean Bandit - Stronger

Christina Aguilera - Say Something

Coldplay - Atlas

Coldplay -  a rush of blood to the head

Coldplay - Clocks

Coldplay - Fix You

Coldplay - Magic

Coldplay - Paradise

Coldplay - The Scientist

Coldplay - Yellow

Damien Dawn - Silent Scream

Daniel Knox - What Have They Done to You Now

Dar William - A God Descended

Dar Williams - The Ocean

Daughter - Human

Dean Martin .Ain’t That A Kick In The Head

Death Cab For Cutie - Black Sun

Depeche Mode - Wrong

Devour The Day - Good Man

Dido - Thank You

Dizzee Rascal- Bonkers

Drea - Justified

Ed Sheeran - Perfect

Ed Sheeran - supermarket flowers

Edward Sharpe And The Magnetic Zeros - Home

Elvis Presley -  I Can’t Help Falling Love

Elvis Presley - The Wonder of You

Emily Hearn - Volcano

Evanescence - Bring Me To Life

Evanescence - my immortal

Fall Out Boy - Bishops Knife Trick

Fall Out Boy - Centuries

Fall Out Boy - Champion

Fall Out Boy - Just One Yesterday

Fall Out Boy - Heaven’s Gate

Fall Out Boy - The Mighty Fall

Fink - Keep Falling

Five Finger Death Punch - Bad Company

Five Finger Death Punch - Battle Born

Five Finger Death Punch - Coming Down

Five Finger Death Punch - Remember Everything

Five Finger Death Punch - Wrong Side Of Heaven

Fleurie - Hurts Like Hell

Fleurie - Soldier

Flobots - Journey After (War Fatigues)

Florence and the Machine - Only if For A Night

Florence and the Machine - Rabbit Heart (Rise It UP)

Florence and the Machine - Seven Devils

Flyleaf - Fire, Fire

Foxes - Devil Side

Fun - Some nights

Gabrielle Aplin - Salvation

Gang Of Youths - Achilles Come Down

Generdyn Music - Let It Burn (feat RUTH)

Glen Hansard And Marketa Irglova - Falling Slowly

Grandson - Blood // Water

Grayscale - Forever Yours

Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

Green Day - Jesus of Suburbia

Green Day -  Wake Me Up When September Ends

Hamilton - Dear Theodosia

Halsey - Angel on Fire

Halsey - Colors

Halsey - Control

Halsey - Devil in me

Halsey - Gasoline

Halsey - Ghost

Halsey - Haunting

Halsey - Hold me down

Halsey - Young God

Heavy Young Heathens - Being Evil Has a Price

HIM - Beyond Redemption

HIM - For You

HIM - Join me in death

HIM - The Sacrament

house of heroes - out my way

Hozier - Arsonist’s Lullabye

Icon For Hire - Up In Flames

Ingrid Michaelson - The Way I Am

Imagine Dragons - Battle Cry

Imagine Dragons - Believer

Imagine Dragons - Demons

Imagine Dragons - I Bet My Life

Imagine Dragons - Thief

InnerWish -  Needles In My Mind

Isabelle Boulay- Parle Moi

James Young - Infinity

Jaymes Young - I’ll Be Good

John Rzeznik - I’m Still Here

Johnny Cash - Hurt

jónsi - tornado

Joshua Radin - Let Our Sun Shine Down

Joshua Radin - They Bring Me to You

Juanes - Fotografia

K.Flay - Run For Your Life

Kamelot - Insomnia

Kansas - Carry On My Wayward Son

Kelly Clarkson - Dark Side

kendrick lamar - DNA

Kendrick Lamar - PRIDE

Lana Del Rey -  Young and Beautiful

Lauren Aquilina - King

LemON - Napraw

Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah

Linkin Park - Breaking the Habit

Linkin Park - Burn It Down

Linkin Park - Castle of Glass

Linkin Park - Crawling

Linkin Park - Fallout

Linkin Park - Heavy

Linkin Park - In the end

Linkin Park - Iridescent

Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest

Linkin Park - New Divide

Linkin Park - Numb

Linkin Park - One More Light

Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong

Linkin Park - The Catalyst

Linkin Park - Until It’s Gone

Linkin Park - Valentine’s Day

Linkin Park - Waiting For The End

Linkin Park - What I’ve Done

Lord Huron - the Night we Met

Lorde - Liability

Lorde - Yellow Flicker Beat

Loreena McKennitt - Dante’s Prayer

LP - Muddy Waters

Macklemore ft. Kesha - Good Old Days

Major Lazer - Be together

Manchester Orchestra - Simple Math

Marilyn Manson - Fated, Faithful, Fatal

Marina and the Diamonds - Fear and Loathing

Maroon 5 - Payphone

Maroon 5 - She W

ill Be LovedMaroon 5 - Sugar

Metallica - Unforgiven

Michael Patrick Kelly - ID

Michael Schulte - You Let Me Walk Alone

MIIA - Dynasty

Mikky Ekko - Time

Milk & bones - Natalie

Mumford and Sons - Broken Crown

Muse - Madness

Muse - Resistance

New Order - As It Is When It Was

NF - Let You Down

NF - Paralyzed

Nickelback - How You Remind Me

Nickelback - PhotographNickelback - Savin’ Me

Nikka Costa - Push & Pull

Nina- we are the wild ones

nothing more - go to war

O.A.R. - Peace

Of monsters and men - Organs

Of monsters and men - sinking man

Oh Child - The Lion

One Ok Rock - Taking of

Paramore - Decode

Paramore - The Only Exception

Patrick Swayze - She’s Like the Wind

Peter Gabriel - Heroes

Peter Gabriel - My Body Is A Cage

Phillip Phillips - Gone, Gone, Gone

Phillip Phillips - Midnight Sun

Pink Floyd - Learning to fly

Placebo - Running up that hill

Portishead - Wandering Star

Radical Face - The Gilded Hand

Radiohead - creep

Rag'n'Bone Man - Human

REM - Losing my religion

Red - Fight Inside

Red - Shadows

ride - paralysed

ride - ox4

Rihanna ft SZA- Consideration

Rise Against - Hero Of War

Roberta Flack - The First Time Ever I Saw your Face

Rod Stewart - Blondes Have More Fun

Rod Stewart - I don’t wanna talk about it

Ruelle - Bad Dream

Ruelle - Deep End

Ruelle - I Get To Love You

Ruelle - Monsters

Ruelle - Storm

Ruelle - The Other Side

Ruelle - Walk Through the Fire

Ruelle - War of Hearts

Sam Smith - lay me down

Sam Smith - Writing’s On The Wall

Santana - Into The Night

Seal - Kiss From A RoseSerg

e Lama - Je suis malade

Shinedown - Call Me

Sia - Alive

Simple Plan - astronaut

Simple Plan - Untitled

simple plan - welcome to my life

Skillet - Monster

Sleeping at Last - Already gone

Sleeping at Last - Neptune

Slipknot - Snuff

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars

Sofi Tukker - Best Friend

Starset - My Demons

Sum41 - Pieces

Svrcina - Burning Heart

Svrcina - Lover Fighter

SYML - The War

SYML - Where’s My Love

SZA - All the stars

Tame Impala - I’m a man

Tamer -  Beautiful Crime

Taylor Swift - All too Well

Taylor Swift - I know places

Taylor Swift - King Of My Heart

Taylor Swift - Red

Taylor Swift - This Love

The All-American Rejects - Dirty Little Secret

The All-American Rejects - Move Along

The Beach Boys - God Only Knows

The Civil Wars - Devil’s Backbone

The Commodores - Easy

The Cure - treasure

The Dear Hunter - writing on the wall

The Editors - Smokers Outside the Hospital Doors

The Fray - How To Save A Life

The Fray - Over My Head

The Heights - Talk to an Angel

The Jonas Brothers - Burnin’ Up

The Jonas Brothers - Hold On

The Jonas Brothers - Paranoid

The Killers - The Rising Tide

The Kongos - (War) Come With Me Now

The Lumineers.- Ho hey

The Mountain Goats - Cry for Judas

The Neighbourhood - Afraid The Neigh

bourhood - Sweater Weather

The Neighbourhood - Wire

The Oh Hellos - The Truth is a Cave’

The Wanted - Demons

The Weeknd - Die For You

The Weeknd - Pray For Me

The Who - Behind Blue Eyes

ThouShaltNot - Trial By Fire

Three Days Grace - Tell Me Why

Throw Me Off The Bridge - From The Top

Throw Me Off The Bridge - Way Out

Tom McRea - You cut her hair

Tori Amos - Crucify

Tracy Chapman - Fast Car

Train - Drops of Jupiter

Twinbed - trouble im in

Welshly Arms - Legendary

Wicked - Defying Gravity

Winters Island - Ares

Within Temptation - A demon’s fate

Within Temptation - Destroyed

Within Temptation - Hand of Sorrow

woodkid - iron

woodkid - run boy run

Yellowcard - Only One

Zendaya & Zac Efron - Rewrite the stars

[syphiria]

Makai Ouji Pillar 94 Translation

Thank you, Michelle, for the RAW!

A packed penultimate chapter. Enjoy~

1 W: Wh…y…! (Right before the climax-!)

2 D: With this… I have… avoided harming… You…

3 S: By the great name of the living Lord and these holy words -I pray that this flowing blood will not be poured into the sea… It’s no use, Limbo is the only option for those wounds G: I’d love to bring him but As expected Exhausted…… SFX slump W: That’s why That’s why I lied to you back then Saying that I didn’t remember!

4 (I had a feeling that our paths would cross again some day) (And if we met, you would once again) (be hurt) I didn’t want you to make any sacrifices for me anymore!! L: Solomon, if you want to save him You know what to do

5 SFX blast S: Such power… C: I guess despite living way past his time Lucifer is still SFX boom Samael!

6 S: So long as it is His Majesty’s wish Let the garden of wisdom be lain to waste and depart for the east eternally! W: Ug……!! C: William!

7 L: You are no longer needed for this Millennial Kingdom Solomon Paradise must one day be gone The little garden that you created is no more [Solomon, the king of Wisdom loved by God] [That wisdom was no fortune It was wormwood that brought disaster-] W: Ugh……

8 S: You will! SFX Pierce

9 L: This time, pass on the requiem with your own hands You are calamity Disappear along with me From this cycle of cause and effect

10 S: William!!! B: “Send one of what the Demon King wants most to the other world” (Uncle……!?) O Emperor of Hell and my fellow comrade The one to commit double suicide with you is this world and-

11 Me! L: Wha!! B: Rejoice, White Rider This is the death that you have longed for

12 However, it is a death that visits only you and me!!

13 L: It’s not working!?

14 [Solomon has finally grasped his life] [In that case] I will destroy this fate too And retrieve myself!

15 W: Uncle!!!!

16

17 SFX BLAST

18+19 SFX EXPLODE

20 M: What was that massive release of magic… !?

21 (…The Kingdom…) (Along with the key……) Mi: -So I will go too, huh Met: Michael, there you- Mi: A curse is something that has no meaning when there is no opponent Enoch

22

23 M: Impossible- I can’t forgive you for disappearing… Where are you hiding, Michael…! Whereeeee!!!

24 K: Young Master! Open your eyes, you can’t be drawn away!! W: Kevin… But…… I’ve been dazzled by the blinding light K: Get a hold of yourself Right now, the shortest path to Limbo is open I’m going to throw those idiot demons in!!

25 W: Kevin You… Wait Definitely come back To our home

26 K: Leave it to me Young Master G: …Uriel Your wing K: It’s okay

27 (I chose this) (path myself) (At this moment) (I am above satisfied)

28 …Young, Master… (Please if he will) By the supreme name of the Lord By the power of the Father and Son and Holy Spirit We shall dispel all powers of evil and its seeds Bind thoroughly as if binding with chains Throw away to the darkness outside; so that the servants of God will not suffer (So that he may live a fulfilling life As a normal human)

29 By the supreme name of the Lord By my name of Uriel……

30 M: He can’t have been destroyed… That’s it, he must have fallen That must be the case I’ll definitely find him…! Heaven’s army, proceed as is We’ll conquer Hell’s deepest level!! S: There is no need for that M: ……!?

31 S: Tel Megiddo will close Is it okay for everyone to stay here and never be able to return to Heaven again? M: What are you trying to do, doll S: What am I trying to do? I’m simply using the authority that you bestowed to me Chief of Powers, Metatron Unless you want to remain in Hell by yourself M: …I won’t accept it A mere puppet

32 Someone like you isn’t Gabriel Someone like you!! S: All troops retreat!

33 J: How strange Even though it’s just wind blowing by It looks as if the world is changing

34 G: It has changed -secretly Just as usual… (Everything ending with the destruction of Lucifer and Solomon’s ring. Next issue, an emotional finale-!)

~~~And one more chapter to go!!

There’s still quite a few loose ends that need tying up; I hope most characters will get a happy end...

Please point out any mistakes or typos^^

[lucifersagents]

festive prompts: 1 w michael

1. “Is that Mistletoe?”

(gif is not mine)

You were decorating for Christmas when you heard a flutter of wings come from behind you.  As you stepped down from your chair and turned around, you saw Michael standing in the middle of the library.  He was looking around the room at all of the decorations you had hung up.

“How long did it take you to do all of this,” Michael asked.

You put the chair back by the table and walked up to the archangel.  “Since Sam and Dean are gone I wanted to surprise them with some decorations when they got back,” you said with a smile.  “What do you think?”

Michael looked around again.  He spotted something above the archway leading out of the library.  “Is that… mistletoe,” Michael questioned.  “Why would you hang poisonous berries over your head?”

“You’re not supposed to eat them,” you said with an amused grin.  “How about I show you what we humans use them for?”  You pulled the archangel under the mistletoe.  “When someone stands under the mistletoe, you get to kiss them.”

A smirk spread across Michael’s face as he breathed out a short laugh.  “You humans have such odd traditions [Y/N],” Michael jested.  “This however, is one I will certainly enjoy.”

Tags below the cut

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[aion-rsa]

Star Trek: Discovery Season 3 Episode 7 Easter Eggs & References

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This Star Trek: Discovery article contains spoilers for “Unification III.”

It’s Spock time! In “Unification III,” Star Trek: Discovery has continued a story that The Next Generation began in 1991. And, in doing so, the series has created an episode of Trek that is both nostalgic as hell and also forward-facing and new. Back before we even knew what Discovery would be like, we were told Michael Burnham was Spock’s adoptive sister. And now, Spock’s sister has come home! 

From TNG vibes to sweet nods to the reboot films, to a lot of references to Spock, here’s all the Easter eggs and shout-outs we caught in Star Trek: Discovery, Season 3, Episode 7, “Unification III.”

New Starfleet Logo on USS Discovery

During the opening moments of the episode, we see that a newer, more rounded Starfleet insignia adorns the shuttle bay of the Discovery. This feels commensurate with the upgrade we saw the ship get last week.

USS Yelchin 

One of the “black boxes” Burnham recovered is from an “old” Federation starship called the USS Yelchin. This feels like a huge tribute to actor Anton Yelchin, who played Chekov in the Star Trek reboot films. Tragically, Yelchin died just before the release of Star Trek Beyond. 

Two-Dimensional Thinking 

Tilly tells Burnham that mapping all the Burn data works fine in two-dimensions, but not in three-dimensional space. This could be a slight nod to Spock in The Wrath of Khan. In that film, Spock points out to Kirk that Khan’s strategies indicated “two-dimensional thinking.” 

Vulcan becomes “Ni’Var”

The new name for the planet Vulcan — Ni’Var — comes from OG Star Trek fan culture. In the 1968 fanzine called Spockanalia, fan writer Dorothy Jones came-up with the word “ni var,” which she claimed was a Vulcan word that referred to “two forms.” This is not the first time this word has made it into canon though; in the 2002 Enterprise episode “Shadows of P’Jem,” the NX-01 encountered a Vulcan ship named Ni’Var.

Saru and Burnham have no idea that Romulans have pointed ears

When Saru learns the Romulans are sharing the planet formerly known as Vulcan, he says: “The Romulans were considered enemies in our time.” Vance points out that “history forgot this in your time, but Romulans and Vulcans were two tribes of the same race…” All of this is true, but the funny thing is that because DISCO’s point of origin happens in 2258, that’s a full eight years before the events of “Balance of Terror,” in 2266, in which Kirk, Spock and pretty much everybody in Starfleet, learned that Romulans looked a lot like Vulcans.

Spock and “Unification III”

The title of this episode is a reference to the two-part episode in The Next Generation, “Unification Part 1” and “Unification Part 2.” However, in the TNG days, some of the multi-part episodes were styled this way; meaning the onscreen text read “Unification II” not “Unification Part 2.” This was also true of episodes like “Redemption II.” It was not the case with “The Best of Both Worlds,” “Time’s Arrow,” or “Descent.” It’s also not the case with the title of Discovery’s first episode of Season 3, “That Hope Is You, Part 1,” which very clearly spells-out the “Part 1.” That said, Discovery is the first Trek series to not actually show the episode titles during the opening credits, a tradition that continued with Picard. (Although Lower Decks used the TNG style and has the titles spelled-out in the credits.) That said, “Unification III” is the very first time an episode title in one Trek series directly posits itself as a sequel to an episode title from a totally separate show. 

Spock’s “death”

Vance mentions that the reunification of the Vulcans and Romulans “took centuries after [Spock’s] death.” To be clear, this is a presumed death. Starfleet’s records would show that Spock fell into a black hole in 2387, right around the time of the Romulan Supernova. They have no idea he actually went back in time to 2258, and also slid sideways into the J.J. Abrams universe in Star Trek 2009. Then, he eventually died in an alternate version of the year 2263 (Star Trek Beyond), which, in the parallel Prime Universe is like two years before Kirk and Spock even meet. 

So, Spock “died” in 2387, according to Starfleet records, but really went back in time to an alternate 2258, which in the Prime Universe, is the same year from which Michael Burnham went into the future. If you count Spock’s “presumed” death established here in Discovery, and his temporary death in The Wrath of Khan, and his “actual” offscreen death in Beyond, Spock has died three times. Starfleet’s recorded death of Spock being false when time travel was really involved also echoes Starfleet’s incorrect records of Spock’s bestie James T. Kirk, who everyone thought died in 2293 on the Enterprise-B (Generations) but, really, time-traveled via the Nexus and died with Picard in 2371. (It’s like space-poetry. It rhymes.)

Finally, it should be noted that all of Sarek’s children end-up as time travelers, except for Sybok, who, in The Final Frontier, touched the face of an evil space god, and got esploded. 

Multiple Spocks! 

The flashbacks we see of Michael talking to Spock (Ethan Peck), as well as kid Spock (Liam Hughes), come from the Discovery Season 2 finale, “Such Sweet Sorrow Part 2.” Combined with the archive footage of Spock (Leonard Nimoy) from TNG, this is the only episode of Star Trek, ever, in which Spock appears three times, played by three different actors and in none of the scenes is the character “alive” in the present. This is also the only time Ethan Peck and Leonard Nimoy appear as young and old Spock in the same Star Trek thing. That said, there are oddly several precedents for Trek episodes or films in which multiple Spock actors appear in the same story. 

In the TAS episode “Yesteryear” Spock (Leonard Nimoy) meets himself as a young child (Billy Simpson.)

In The Search For Spock, Leonard Nimoy appears in the same movie with four other Spock actors, Carl Steven, Vadia Potenza, Stephen Manley, and Joe W. Davis. All of these other Spocks played Spock in his various stages of hyper-aging on the Genesis planet. But, don’t get it twisted, like Billy Simpson and Liam Hughes, these Spocks are canon!

In The Final Frontier, Spock (Leonard Nimoy) is in the same scene with an infant version of Spock. We don’t know who that baby was, but it’s a good bet that it wasn’t archive footage of Nimoy’s actual birth.

In Star Trek 2009, Leonard Nimoy obviously appears alongside Zachary Quinto, but you also have a third, child Spock played by Jacob Kogan. 

In Star Trek Into Darkness, obviously, both Quinto and Nimoy appear.

In Star Trek Beyond, two still photos of Nimoy exist in the same story as Zachary Quinto as Spock.

In the Star Trek: Discovery episodes “Light and Shadow,” and “If Memory Serves,” Liam Hughes plays child Spock in the same episode that Ethan Peck plays an adult Spock.

Anyway. That’s a lot of Spocks! Does any other Trek character come close to having this many people play them? Second place seems to be a tie between Jean-Luc Picard and Christopher Pike, who have each been played by four distinct actors. Oh, and don’t even get me started on Molly O’Brien. 

The Spock flashback!

By now, it’s obvious, but just in case you missed it, the scene in which Michael views archive footage of Spock comes from two different scenes in “Unification II.” One scene, where Spock alludes to “closed minds” happens fairly early in the episode. The rest of the speech, however, happens at the end of the episode. In both instances, Spock was talking to Jean-Luc Picard. 

I never finished the command training program

Tilly mentions that she never completed her command training. This was a major plot point in Discovery Season 2, specifically the episode “Point of Light,” when we saw Tilly win the Command Training Program half-marathon. 

Graduate of the Vulcan Science Academy

Burnham mentions she is a “graduate of the Vulcan Science Academy.” This is something her brother did not complete. We saw Burnham’s graduation day in the Discovery Season 1 episode, “Lethe.” 

“Since the time of Surak”

Burnham mentions Surak, the founder of Vulcan logic. The first canonical reference to Surak was in the TOS episode “The Savage Curtain,” in which Surak fought with Kirk and Spock, alongside Abraham Lincoln. 

Qowat Milat and “absolute candor”

We learn that Burnham’s biological mother, Gabrielle Burnham, has become a member of the Qowat Milat. This references the Romulan warrior nuns, introduced in the Picard episode “Absolute Candor.” Like Elnor, Gabrielle Burnham has a sword on her back. This episode was written by Kirsten Beyer, who, along with Michael Chabon, Akiva Goldsman, and Alex Kurtzman, co-created Star Trek: Picard.

The Temporal Accords

The Vulcan president, T’Rina (Tara Rosling) tells Saru: “Your jump to the future is not widely known, even within Starfleet.” Saru tells her that’s because they don’t want to be “polarizing, given the Temporal Accords.” This references Enterprise, in which Daniels told Archer that the Temporal Accords prevented time-travel from being used illegally. But, it also seems to indicate that Vance hasn’t told all of Starfleet where Discovery is actually from. 

Essof IV

Burnham’s mom mentions that she landed “right back on Essof IV.” This references the planet on which the Discovery crew tried to “capture” the Red Angel. Presumably, Dr. Burnham didn’t land “right” back on Essof IV. She also, clearly, journeyed into the future. How long has she been living on Ni’Var? We don’t know. Long enough to become a warrior nun! 

Needs of the many

Saru and T’Rina briefly debate about the maxim: “The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few.” This originates in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. That said, in The Voyage Home, Spock’s mom, Amanda, pointed out that Spock’s friends believed that “the need of the one” — specifically Spock — was “more important to them” than the needs of the many. Amanda raised Michael Burnham, too! 

Vulcan gongs and fire reference “Amok Time,” and The Search For Spock

When Burnham invokes the T’Kal-in-ket, some very retro Vulcan-ceremony vibes. The gongs and fire are not only evocative of Spock’s “wedding” in the TOS episode “Amok Time,” but also the ceremony in The Search For Spock, in which Spock’s Katra was put back in his body.

Tilly and Burnham still share a room!

After much speculation, it seems very clear now that Tilly and Burnham still share a room. This is because Burnham makes a joke about Tilly asking her to “switch my bed to the other side of the room.” This means that they have been roommates since “Context Is For Kings” in Season 1 of Discovery. Is there just not that much room on the ship? Or do they just like it? 

“Live long and prosper”

Somebody doing the “Live long and prosper,” thing isn’t exactly an Easter egg, but it is the first time we’ve seen Saru give the famous Vulcan salute. Saru joins several other non-Vulcan Starfleet captains who have flashed the famous hand gesture, including Captain Picard and Captain Archer. Is Saru the first non-human and non-Vulcan to do it? It seems so.

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Star Trek: Discovery is streaming now on CBS All Access.

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