#[ anything rly i am just grabby hands ] | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

feral-autistic · 3 years

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tags 4 organization n stuff:

(pls read if ur even a little bit interested, it took a while to link all the tags n i feel pretty proud of my efforts)

general:

#*stims violently* (good vibes)

#cool art woah (any art i rb)

#mecore (self-explanatory)

#thats me im that (stuff w my vibes)

#grabby hands (things i want)

#want 2 look like this (gender/appearance/vibe envy)

#sobbign adn cyring (emotional /pos)

#kekeke (mischievous)

#hehe funnie (self-explanatory)

#self rb (rbs from other sideblogs)

#my unknowable form (pictures of me)

#long post (self-explanatory)

#video (post containing a video)

#video essay (video essay recs)

#gif (post containing a gif)

#untagged (self-explanatory)

weird sub-categories of “mecore” and gender vibes:

#im dogy (dogbrain & furry type stuff)

#im computer beep boop (sometimes i feel like a robot or perhaps a machine)

#frankensteins monster just like me fr (i am also a fucked up science experiment)

#im creacher (self-explanatory)

#1950s scientist gender (self-explanatory)

#some kind of unhuman (idk man maybe its the autism but i rly feel like im not human sometimes and it isnt a bad thing)

#no gender only void

#my gender isnt

categories:

#special inch rest (special interests + hyperfixations etc since its easier to put both in the same category)

#trans is holy (trans)

#queer is beautiful (queer)

#gender? i hardly know ‘er (stuff i relate to in a gender way)

#got the ‘tism (autism)

#ass dont have dopamine (adhd)

#stimboard (stimboards & things i find stimmy)

#art refs (art refs/info)

#resources n tools (useful info/links)

#craftz (things to make/how to make things)

#fashion & clothez (self-explanatory)

#ocs tag (posts with vibes of my ocs; will be tagged with their names & where they’re from)

topics & interests:

#places n spaces (locations etc)

#confy (comfy and cozy vibes)

#plushies!! (plushies/stuffed toys)

#music (anything containing/about music)

#witchy (aesthetic/info/tools)

#cryptidz (cryptids/cryptidcore)

#voidpunk!!! (voidpunk & similar vibes)

#want 2 crumch the dice (dice sets)

#teefs (teeth)

#just some guy(s) (misc guys)

#cat info (self explanatory)

#khoshekh ideas (ideas for my cat, khoshekh)

several different horror categories/tags:

#horror my beloved (general horror & posts about it)

#body horror my beloved (same as above, but specifically body horror)

#peep the horror (when ur peeping the horror)

lots of nature/etc topics:

#mush shrooms (mushrooms)

#r o c k (cool rocks/stones)

#opossums :] (opossums!! happy stim)

#moff (moths)

#froge (frogs)

#bugz kekeke (insects/bugs/etc)

#bunni (rabbits/bunnies)

#dogy (dogs)

#ratz (rats/other rodents)

#cæt (general cat content)

#creachers (other creatures & animals not already categorised)

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skullrock · 4 years

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ask

gif by @harringtown

pairing: Steve x Reader

request: hi! this isn’t a prompt but can we have jealous steve where he just wants the reader’s attention for whatever attention and it’s cute and fluffy ? no smut please

word count: 1.2k

warnings: Great Gatsby/Romeo and Juliet spoilers??? lmfao

a/n: sorry this took so long anon!! I hope you enjoy! he’s rly only jealous of a book in this but I thot it was cute!

===

Steve is whining from across the room.

Steve is whining from across the room for an extended period of time.

Steve is flailing his body on the bed to get you to look at him.

“Hello?”

“Come here.”

“’m busy, Steve,” you respond, flipping to the next page of your book. “I have to read this before class on Tuesday.”

Another whine. You laugh. “Stevie! I have to finish this.”

He reaches out for you. “I’ll read it to you.”

You smile and shake your head. “You’ll just get distracted, and so will I.”

“Come on, I am a perfect narrator.” He makes grabby hands again. “I will make it way better than it could be in your head.”

You get up with a sigh, a smile playing on your lips. Steve smiles victoriously, pulling the covers back to let you in beside him. You hand him the book and rest your head on his chest. He wrinkles his nose and holds the book away from him. “The Great Gatsby? What is this, high school?”

“It’s a popular book! I need to read it for my English lit class.”

He rolls his eyes, then smirks. Bringing you in tighter under his arm, he says, “I have an idea.”

“Oh no.”

He smiles wider. “Since I have to read you this book –”

“You insisted –”

“You can give me one kiss after each page.”

“What is this, high school?” you mock.

“It’s only fair.”

“Fine,” you sigh, burying your head into his chest.

Steve was right – it’s better than reading it in your head. He adapts a different voice for each character, talks with his hands, makes wild gestures that shake you and the bed. And, at the end of each page, even if he was in the middle of a sentence, he would look over at you with pursed lips. Each kiss given was longer, and by the tenth page, your lips lingered for half a minute.

“Steve,” you say against his lips. “I told you we’d get distracted.”

“I’m not distracted. Are you distracted?”

“A little.”

He smiles and shrugs, pulling you tighter against him once again, and continues to read.

“’I wasn't actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity.’” He pauses at that, then turns to look at you. He studies your face for a moment before asking, “Are you in love with me?”

“Of course, I am.” You reach up and tuck some loose hair behind his ear. “I wouldn’t let just any boy read Gatsby to me.”

He chuckles, but there’s still a sadness in his eyes. You frown and gently take the book from him, closing it and placing it beside you. “Hey, I mean it.” You pull him into you, chests pressed together. “How couldn’t I love you?”

He smiles bitterly. “You know….”

You nod. “I know.” You press a kiss to his forehead, and he buries his head into your neck, nearly cutting off your breathing from how hard he grips you. You run a hand through his hair, and he sighs, relaxing at the feeling.

“You want to know what I love about you?”

You feel him smile into your skin. “Sure.”

“I love your hair.” You play with a stray strand, curling it around your fingers. “I like that it’s so long that I can twist my fingers through it.” You trace your fingers down his neck. “And I love the moles you have going down your neck and to your collarbones. I love your shoulders and your arms….” You reach down to grip his hand, lacing your fingers in his. “I love your hands. They’re always so warm and soft.”

You feel him squeeze your hand and the smile come back on his face.

“You’ve got the cutest tummy.” You unlace your hand to reach down and tickle it, giggling when he giggles. “Cutest ass.”

“Not true,” he mumbles.

“True to me.” You lift his head with your fingers, making him face you. “And the most adorable face.” You trace your fingers over his features as you point them out. “Straightest nose I’ve ever seen… nicest jawline… softest lips.”

Steve pulls you in for another kiss. It’s soft and warm, inviting and welcoming, just like he is. His kisses make you dizzy, and you have to brace yourself on his chest as his move against yours. He always smiles into his kisses, too, an adorable display of his own affections without saying a thing. When you both pull away, he’s still smiling – softly, Mona Lisa style, content and happy and comfortable.

“You’re the funniest guy I’ve ever met,” you continue, tracing circles into his clothed chest. “And so brave. God, so brave, Steve. You always do the right thing. You’re kind and caring and loving and strong.”

Steve blinks some tears away and buries his head into your hair, rubbing circles into the small of your back. “Anything else?”

“You’re the love of my life,” you whisper. “I don’t ever want to do anything without you.”

“You won’t have to.” He kisses the top of your head softly, lovingly. “You’ll never have to be without me.”

You smile. “Unless you keep throwing yourself in harm’s way.”

“That was three times,” he jokes quietly. It’s not really funny, the amount of times he’s almost been killed or maimed beyond repair. But in bed with you, he can be vulnerable. He can joke. He feels safe and secure in your arms, and he doesn’t ever want this feeling to stop.

You look up to him, making contact with his warm irises. “You’re my world. I don’t want you to ever get hurt. I don’t know how… how I could live without you.”

“Don’t get upset,” he coos, moving so he’s at eye level with you. “We’re like… we’re like Romeo and Juliet.”

You laugh. “You’ve never read that, have you?”

Steve looks concerned. “Does something bad happen to them?”

You don’t have the heart to tell him. “No, Steve. They live happily ever after.”

He smiles. “So will we.”

“So will we,” you repeat.

Steve kisses you again, then pulls away. He’s a bit pouty. “Will you hold me and play with my hair?”

You nod. “What else am I here for?”

“Forever grateful for you and your fingers.” He rolls over and you pull him to you, wrapping one hand around his waist and the other in his hair. You weave your hands through his locks, pulling and tugging gently, running your fingers up and down his scalp.

You pause just briefly, and Steve whines again. “Pay attention to me!”

“Oh my God, I stopped for two seconds!”

“Too long.” You can hear the smile in his voice and you roll your eyes.

“So needy,” you mumble, continuing to massage his scalp.

“Only for you,” he jokes.

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

===

taglist (join here): @harrington-ofhawkins @comedy-witch @gothackedalready @wolfish-willow @sassisaluxury @willowrose99 @harringtown @write-from-the-heart @m-blasterrr @whimsicalwoodlands @anerroroccurrrrred @Marvels-gurl @the-almond-dinger @ssanjuniperoo @darth-el @sourapplebaby @yall-wildin-like-siriusly @andyl394 @astil-be @troop-scoop @ilovebucketbarnes @mybestfriendthedingus @unknownherelm @metuel18 @magnitude101999 @simplesammyx @lukeskisses @bravest-at-heart @stevenismyboy

#steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington fluff #sometimes u have to project ur insecurities onto Steve Harrington and cry 2 the smiths and snail mail

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badheart · 4 years

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GENERAL name: sef birthday: 10.11. sexual orientation: pan school status: fach-abi (idk: advanced technical college entrance qualification??) ... i didn’t wanna learn french... idk kinda was necessary in most schools

QUESTIONS what is your special talent/skill as a roleplayer? i do actually manage to roleplay on this blog, so that’s something for sure. and maybe that i can do some fanart of my muses and ships, it is a neat extra haha. what is your favorite type of roleplay genre, and why? conflict, just look at the characters i play, but also fluff is nice once in a while, but mostly i want some deep talk, which allows some nice development, aka learning much more about my own muse and my partners as well, depending on how curious i am about them. why did you pick your muse? i have a thing for bad boys, and usually characters who ain’t part of the protag team, and by women i love very powerful, cool - collected ones. grimm was the first here, and he simply filled the bill and looked pretty, also kinda fun to play, in things depth, ... he lacks somewhat tho, due to being a hollow, also i find the goal to get stronger generally boring (yet a bunch of my muses have it, so welps) and being fixated on the protag, but another welps. / harri one of the few fem characters who interested me and i found aesthetically nice, i rly just wanted to rp / own her? idk you ever see a cool character and just? grabby hands?? def nice to rp her once in a while, but she difficult and tragic. / shu was mostly added after i wondered, which fem character has the highest chance to end up with (ila’s) aizen. it was her, and aesthetically, thematic wise my total type, she is pretty cool and bleach sure lacked some more evil, mature fem characters, then again it is a shonen, so not surprised about the lack. Also her position and role allowed a lot of interesting interactions, views. / ginjo is my rebel boi, one of the few characters who wont shut up about SS’s system, he holds some strong opinions and his entire story just gave me so much to work with and god i love him, shame the fullbring arc was not handled so well. / hubert, finally my first quincy, i blame my friends but also the lil bit interaction he had with ju and bazz, it just promised a lot interaction wise, also did i mention i like uniforms? also someone who is above most sternritter, also a neat perspective / bazz happened due to going a few times thro the last chapters, also cuz of hubert. he sure seems like another standard character, but he turned out to be quite a chaotic, egoist, i take him! if you could write any other muse - but know you don’t have the muse for him/her - who would it be? bankotsu, ezio what is one thing you think you need to work on as a partner? on my honesty level i am pretty good already, but sure not knowing some ppls reactions makes it still hard. communication, always, but it could be far worse for sure. in sympathy i suck pretty much as well, if u rly need help, better go to someone else, i am not good with words and would rather hug u, but obvs not possible in da internet. what would be your warning label to other roleplayers? i cannot concentrate well, and if only on a few (like partners), i am german & angry :^) fear me, ok but rly u can be chill with me, i do handle everything privately and i don’t waste my time on telling ppl what to write or not, that’s not my job and will not change anything anyway, it is da internet, somewhere will still someone write something u don’t agree on. i swear the shit i see on youtube, comments, or on reddit, or wherever... i don’t wanna waste my lifetime on that. what is your favorite episode/scene of your muse? hopefully the one in the future, where grimm meets askin. what crack!ships do you have for your muse? none, not much of a crack fan anyway. what is your senpai blog? mmmmh :^) ila’s, her writing has such a nice flow and is still easy to understand, I am still so fuckin happy, you started to rp again, because damn you got talent! Ila can capture characters so well, it is truly mesmerizing, 10/10 forever blessed.

tagged by: snatched away tagging: i know u like talking about yourselves, i certainly do haha, @levaer , @fcarher , @hirako5hinji , @amutucry , @tatarfora , @toketsuu , @sphaeraa , @serasarc , and here are some neat questions.

#╳ ——「 ooc.」

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messedupessy · 5 years

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seaswap pap and edge

Ohhh bless this anon yeess I have actually been thinking about this a couple of times so yeess I like this UwU ❤ since in my sims 4 play which i haven’t played for ages I have plans to pair Boney up with Edge bc i just had no idea on who else to pair him off with pfft

who’s the cuddler: Boney, he is extremely touchy feely and loves to be all cuddly and cuddled up with his partner, which Edge don’t mind of course because who wouldn’t want to cuddle with Boney? and Boney insists on them sitting all cuddled together while Edge does paperwork bc if Edge is gonna spend his days at a desk he might as well do it next to Boney or at least more close by because Boney just really like to be close even if not doing anything together.

who makes the bed: Both, they are both very clean and tidy af, Boney do insist on hella lot of pillows and like making the bed look like one from magazines, a bit cluttered but it looks good, which Edge thinks at times its a bit over kill as they are just gonna have to toss the pillows off later so they can sleep, but he let’s Boney do what he pleases, it do look good even though he don’t fully get it because like its pretty much only them who will even get into their bedroom, but whatever makes Boney happy.

who wakes up first: Edge, he got a very set time where he wakes up which is 6 am, Boney on the other hand really likes to sleep in whenever he can but usually gets up at around 10-12 at least, but he do srs not like it when Edge insists on getting up so early so he will pull that overworking boy back to bed allot, which Edge often don’t mind except when he actually really need to get to work, and Boney just gets pretty dramatic and pouty bc come back to bed which Edge finds cute and he do rly want to go back to bed but alas duty calls.

who has the weird taste in music: neither of them do, or at least not what I consider weird, Edge listens to rock but is mostly into instrumental music especially with violins, Boney since he is a pirate is ofc into shanties, but he too is a big fan of just instrumental music especially with guitars and stuff and loves to play music himself, he is also very into like folk music I guess old songs especially spanish ones as he grew up with those yeah.

who is more protective: Boney a tiny bit, like Edge got the whole needing to make sure Boney is safe due for his position as ambassador/captain of the guard etc, but Boney is a bit more protective in a overall sense so to speak, Boney is a bit more confrontational and stuff when ppl be talking shit. He’s a drama boy.

who sings in the shower: Boney ofc, he really likes singing and music overall so its a given he sings in the shower/bath, Edge takes very quick and short showers so he don’t get any time to sing and he just isn’t that big of a singy person. When showering together they usually don’t sing either but they do get into pretty heated debates about various politics, literature and other subjects which they enjoy, which might turn into them doing something of the more naughty variety if they got time pft

who cries during movies: Both are, Edge easily cries when its anything with romance and drama and tragedies etc, and Boney is kind of too though not as bad but still cry at times. Both don’t really like crying like at all

who spends the most while out shopping: Boney, he is a very treat yourself kind of guy, he loves expensive shit and if he finds something he will buy it, or steal it he got grabby fingers and is a bit of a klepto, which Edge has srs troubles with bc he is after all a man of the law so Boney do his best not to steal stuff, but sometimes he slip up bc of old habits. Edge is very strict with his money and rarely buys anything but that is needed ye.

who kisses more roughly: both of them kind of do, Edge because of his teeth which makes any kiss easily turn more rough, while Boney is just a really passionate af kisser and in turn can get a tiny bit rough, but mostly they kiss very softly aye.

who is more dominate: both of them are, Boney prolly is a tiny bit more as he prefers to have a bit more control over his relationship due for his fears and anxiety over getting used and abused again, many things needs to be on his terms, he do get better with that as time pass, and Edge do not mind it, though overall they don’t do the whole dom or sub thing bc I just don’t roll with that stuff.

my rating of the ship from 1-10: mhhhh 10/10 bc hey I can’t help it I ship allot of stuff and they always get the highest score ok pfft xD but overall its a good ship yeah, former/current captain of the guard boy who is doing his best to fix the world with a fab af pirate boy who is sure to make the other boy’s life interesting af with his drama and flair pfft

Ship ask thingie here ye

#spicyhoney #i guess got no ship name for this #spicyboney #maybe??#MessedUpEssy #papcest #fontcest #seaswap #Essy Answers #Essy's Undertale Headcanons #ask thingie thing #darn i like this ship allot tho #like i just imagine edge asking about all the pillows and how its like a bit of a waste #and boney been like ah you have no taste love #and also don't know the true reason for them pillows #as he drags edge with him into them to make out bc pillows are good for that yes

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svt-writers-club · 6 years

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😭😭😭😭i just read ur villian au jihan angst and hfksKFKSKKFKSLD IM SO WRECKED???? Do jisoo and jeonghan ever make up? What happens afterwards? Do jihoon and jeonghan rly stay together and does jisoo really just let jeonghan go??? I need to know 😭😭😭😭

>:3 i’m in a strange pining sort of mood so here’s some jihan with some jicheol muahahahahah (i also just wanted an excuse to write some sexy pining jicheol so sue me)

Seungcheol was born with fire in his veins. His earliest memory was setting a dead tree on fire, shrieking in happiness as flames licked the dry branches like autumn leaves. For as long as he can remember, he’s been causing trouble and setting things alight.

Seungcheol is also great at burning bridges (both figuratively and literally – but mostly figuratively). Sometimes he wishes he wasn’t so good at it.

Like now.

He’s been looking for Jeonghan and Jihoon for three months now. It might’ve been easier if he hadn’t been so fucking horrible with keeping in contact with Jihoon (he still has Jeonghan’s number, but Seungcheol isn’t going to pretend he isn’t Enemy Number Two). He’s spent three months bribing, threatening and burning anyone who could’ve had contact with the heartbreak duo – because that’s what they did to Jisoo.

Jisoo might have a reputation of being ruthless and heartless, but Seungcheol knows Jisoo feels something for Jeonghan. Sure, Seungcheol isn’t sure Jisoo is even capable of human emotion, but he imagines that it’s Jisoo’s version of being in love. Jisoo has been heartsick – he’s been mopey, easier to annoy and his kill count has gone from a mere handful a week to dozens on a bad day. As his self-appointed best friend, Seungcheol’s in charge of dealing with that. The last thing he wants is Jisoo in jail. Not in this condition.

Jeonghan is impossible to find. For someone who hates subterfuge and subtlety, he sure is a pro at finding secret hideouts that stay, well, secret. It’s hard to tail someone to their secret lair when you can’t even find the person.

Jihoon, however, couldn’t care less. He’s arrogant and brash, uncaring if he’s caught on camera because the cops will never catch him anyway. God, he’s a cocky bastard. (Maybe that’s why Seungcheol finds him so intriguing.)

However, the bastard is still too smart to lead Seungcheol right to the plant manipulator he needs to talk to. Be it loyalty or some fucked up way to torture Jisoo (and by extension, Seungcheol), but it’s aggravating. Three months is too long to find someone to un-sad Jisoo.

Seungcheol isn’t surprised when Jihoon slips into Pleiades and Andromeda – a strip club that’s frequented by some of Seoul’s most depraved criminals. After all, Seungcheol’s enjoyed his own nights there, either fucking around or fucking shit up. He’s not surprised, but he’s really fucking annoyed. That’s the only reason he stalks after Jihoon, caging him against the bar with his arms.

“Hello, fancy meeting you here while you’re stalking me,” Jihoon drawls, glancing at Seungcheol out of the corner of his eye. The cheeky bastard doesn’t even bother turning to face Seungcheol. The taller growls, pressing closer so Jihoon’s back is flush against Seungcheol’s front.

“No more games,” Seungcheol demands. His palms heat up, smoke curling along his fingers as the wooden surface of the table scorches. “Where the fuck is Jeonghan?”

“Fuck if I’ll tell you,” comes Jihoon’s snide retort. He leans forward, ass pressing against Seungcheol’s groin as he calls for a bourbon and soju mix. Seungcheol hates the fact that his cock gives an interested twitch, despite his don’t fuck the same ass twice rule.

Seungcheol exhales, smoke trailing out of his nostrils as he struggles to reign in his temper. “Jihoon,” he says in an even voice, “I’m doing this for Jisoo.”

“If Jisoo,” pure disdain drips off Jihoon’s tongue, “cares so much about Jeonghannie hyung, then why isn’t he here, threatening me?”

“Because Jisoo is an idiot and he doesn’t know he’s heart broken.” Seungcheol’s hands ball into fists as Jihoon spins in the cage Seungcheol traps him in, glaring up at him with eyes the colour of dark, bitter chocolate.

“I don’t give a shit,” Jihoon hisses, enunciating every syllable. “He left hyung for dead. As far as I’m concerned, he’s better off without The Gentleman.” Jihoon sneers, pushing Seungcheol back with a single finger. “And I sure as hell don’t want anything to do with you.”

Seungcheol bares his teeth – it’s not a grimace, but it’s awfully close. “Come on, doll – ”

“Stop right there,” Jihoon says with an imperious wave of his hand. “I’m not your doll, I’m not your babe. You don’t get to call me disgusting nicknames because you’re nothing to me.”

“You’re not still upset I left, are you?” Seungcheol asks helplessly. He’s always been the fuck ‘em and leave ‘em kind. Jihoon must’ve known that the moment he tumbled into bed with him.

Jihoon’s eyes are ablaze with rage. It’s such an attractive look on him that Seungcheol has to remind himself that Jihoon is officially off-limits.

“I’m upset that you think I owe you anything,” Jihoon spits. He’s only a hundred and sixty-four centimetres, but his anger makes him at least ten feet tall. “You think you can waltz in here, with your stupid mouth and your dumb-fuck pants and think I’ll just spill everything? Jeonghan hyung nearly died, and it was by his hand. I’m not letting him near us even if I was dying.”

Seungcheol knows he should be paying attention to the vitriol Jihoon is spitting in his direction, but all he can hear is the way Jihoon was – in a backhanded way – complimenting him. He licks his lips, smirking when he sees the way Jihoon’s eyes follow the motion.

“Come on, Jihoonie,” Seungcheol cajoles, placing a tentative hand on Jihoon’s arm. The mercenary glances at the hand sharply, missing the way Seungcheol steps in closer until they’re chest to chest. When Jihoon’s eyes meet his, Seungcheol allows a predatory grin to flit across his lips before leaning down to claim Jihoon’s hot mouth.

Maybe just this once, Seungcheol tells himself as Jihoon struggles for a brief moment, before he’s opening his mouth and licking into Seungcheol’s mouth.

Jeonghan can practically smell the sex wafting off Jihoon, even if he doesn’t see the dark hickeys peeking out over Jihoon’s collar. He tends to Baby, the venomous flytrap practically purring as Jeonghan prunes the weeds from its roots.

“Looks like someone had a good night,” Jeonghan comments with a wan smile. Jihoon’s hair is sticking up all funny, although he’s not walking funny. Must not have been that good of a fuck.

“Barely,” Jihoon grumbles, swatting away the grabby leaves of a nearby grapevine as he stumbles into the kitchen. “Fucking – asshole. He gave me second-degree burns.”

Jeonghan’s hands still. He takes a deep breathe, ignoring the way his inhale is extremely shaky. “I thought you said you’d never sleep with Seungcheol again?” He pats himself on the back for how level his voice is.

“It was the only way to shut him up,” Jihoon groans, sticking his head in the fridge. There’s a meaningful pause. “He’s looking for you, by the way.”

“Seungcheol?”

“No.” Another heavy pause. “Yes. But no. Jisoo.”

Baby rustles uncomfortably, spitting out acid at the mere mention of the name – a response that’s mostly Jeonghan’s. He takes a deep breath, steadying his heart and straightening his back. “Did you tell him where I am?”

Jihoon snorts, surfacing from the fridge with a carton of carrot juice. “Of course not. But… I figured I owed him this much, to tell you that he’s looking.”

Jeonghan frowns, squinting into the distance. “He just wants what he can’t have,” he mutters.

Jihoon leans against the door jamb, reaching up to stroke Baby’s vine that’s wriggling towards him. “You know,” he says in a gentle voice that’s completely out of character, “you say that, but you still keep all the things he left for you.”

He doesn’t ask how Jihoon knows – knowing the mercenary, he’s probably been snooping around. Jisoo likes to leave little presents from his heists, always somewhere Jeonghan can find. He still has the handful of diamonds Jisoo had left behind in a recent heist, a single Juliet rose resting over the gems. The rare rose sits by Jeonghan’s bedroom window sill, flourishing from Jeonghan’s magic and sunlight. There’s a middlemist red in the greenhouse, one of the world’s rarest and most beautiful flowers in the world – it had been pilfered from a greenhouse in England and delivered to a park Jeonghan had been looking after.

Jeonghan knows Jisoo is trying to buy back his affection. It’s the only way Jisoo knows how to apologise.

They’re all pretty things. But they feel meaningless.

“I care about the plants, not him,” Jeonghan says sharply, snipping a stray weed vehemently. “He can rot in hell for all I care.”

“You don’t mean that.”

Jihoon’s right. Even when he was dying in that desert, when he was staring at Jisoo’s tense and unforgiving back, his heart still beats for that damned criminal. When Jisoo had walked in with Seungcheol in tow, his heart still fluttered like a heroine in a goddamn romance novel. He could have crushed the light out of Jisoo so easily – an eye for an eye, broken bones for broken bones – but he hadn’t.

It hadn’t mattered that Jihoon had told him no.

It mattered that he couldn’t even if he wanted to.

Don’t get him wrong; he hates Jisoo. When he thinks of him, his blood boils. Rage beats unfettered in his chest and he prays there comes a time when Jisoo rots in jail.

But… deep down, he loves him too. He dreams of him, dreams of a life they might have had, if they were both normal. He yearns and he wants.

But he cannot forgive. He craves revenge.

That’s the only thing that’s stopping him.

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