#[ everyday i wake up and i am so normal ab roger and the love he has for others and how he will inevitably hurt them because he was

[pirateborn-a]

so incredibly normal about Rayleigh and Roger,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[littleliv1]

I Was Born To Love You- Part Eight

I cried writing the last part. So emotional! I know my warnings in the very very beginning had a miscarriage but I fell in love with the baby and Leah, I couldn't. I have another idea for bringing in a tragedy, however. Also forgive my amateur smut writing. I didn't want it to be filthy, but I had to get the point across. Thanks!!

Summary: the first encounter with the baby and their friends, figuring out something sad about the baby, as well as some cutesy moments with Ben and Leah.

Warning: Steamy stuff, but no sex, language

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My son was finally in my arms, having his first meal. The love of my life. "I'm going to get the guys, I'll be back." Ben said. I nodded, not taking my eyes off of him. He was so perfect, but he hasn't open his eyes yet. I couldn't wait to see them. I could only hope he has my blue eyes. I looked up to see our friends walking into my bedroom. Lucy looked at me with a wide smile. "Hello, beautiful, welcome to the world!" She said quietly. "What's the name?" Joe asked. I looked at Brian and Roger. "His name is Nathaniel Brian Roger. Named after the three most important men I've known in my lifetime." I said. They touched their hearts and bowed in respect. "That's a perfect name for a perfect little jelly bean," She said, rubbing Nathaniel's face. Rami looked at her in complete love. I smiled at the two of them. "Luce, wanna hold him?" I asked, taking my nipple out of his mouth, covering it with a blanket. She nodded as I handed him to her.

I smiled at the group of men surrounding her, all cooing at little Nathaniel. Ben grabbed my hand, kneeling besides me. He cupped my face as we kissed. We heard the group slightly gasp. We looked over and they were all smiling. "His eyes, Leah, they're so bright green. They're almost emerald." Lucy said. He had Austin's eyes. Great. I looked down in disappointment. "Hey, your son is yours. All yours. Not his." Ben whispered to me. I nodded. "Ours," I corrected him. He smiled, kissing my hand. "Mind if I borrow him? I just need to check his sight now that his eyes are open and check his hearing." Amanda said. "Oh absolutely," Lucy said, handing him over. She left the room with him into the living room.

She walked back in about a half an hour later still holding him, but was extremely sad. We had been talking about the birth and what it was like for me, when she started speaking. "May I please talk to the parents alone?" She said. Something was wrong. Oh no. Everyone left the room, as she handed him back to me. "I'm no professional, if we were in a hospital I'd have sent him to doctors to double check, but Leah, your son may be deaf." My heart stopped. Deaf? How could he be deaf? My heart sank as I looked at him. I started to cry. "So, he can't hear me?" I said. He stared blankly at me. "I'm afraid not." She replied.

~~~6 months later~~~

It was Nate's half birthday. Over the course of these last few months, Ben and I decided to get married. He just asked me last week. We were going to raise Nathaniel as our own. Ben wants to be his father, and he's truly amazing with him. We decided, when he was old enough to understand, we would tell him about Austin. The movie had finally wrapped up, and now Ben is home everyday, waking me up to a home cooked breakfast, and waking up at 2 A.M. to take care of the baby and only waking me up when he's hungry. Ben and I took four sign language classes a week. We started to prepare him by teaching him things like "Mummy" and "daddy". He was too young and too small for hearing aids, but he could feels the vibrations of our voices in our chests or the piano if he's right next to it.

Because we decided to be those parents, we wanted to throw him a half birthday party. I was almost done setting up the party for tonight when I heard Ben playing the piano. He was singing the beginning of Bohemian Rhapsody. What made my heart flutter was the sight of my baby in his lap, smiling up at him. He stopped at the end of the phrase 'I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all,'. "Let's go see if Mummy needs any help." He signed "mummy". I smiled at him. "Yes! That's right peanut!" He got off of the bench and smiled at the sight of me. "I didn't know you sang," I said, pulling him into a kiss. "I'm full of surprises." He said. "Oh yeah?" I replied, taking Nate from him. "How's my boy? Hungry?" I said, signing the word 'food'. He responded with 'food'. I smiled at him. "I finished with the cake, can you vacuum the living room? The dogs got on the couch again," I said. He nodded his head, pressing a kiss on my forehead. I took Nate to our bed room to breast feed. The party didn't start for another few hours, so I'm hoping to get him to nap before it starts so he will be up. This wasn't a 'present giving' type of party, just something to show how far he's come. I sat down, holding him to my chest and he ate, thinking about things. How hard it was when I found out I was pregnant with him, how great Ben was from the time I met him, and how hard it's been to raise a deaf child. And he's not even one. I couldn't help but to shed a tear.

My tears were short, as I felt him slow down, falling asleep. I pulled him away and lifted my shirt as I took him to his room to lay him down. I got on my knees, and watched him sleep. It was unbelievable how much I loved him. "He looks just like you, minus the eyes." I heard Ben say. He came up from behind me, rubbing my shoulders slightly. "I want one with you," I said, still looking at Nate, rubbing his hands in return. "Our time will come, my love. Let's get through his first birthday and our wedding and we can talk more about it. I don't want any more stress added onto you." After lots of thinking, I couldn't help but to slightly laugh, which made him laugh. "What's so funny?" He said. "Well, we've been together for a while, we're raising a kid, we're getting married, and we've never had sex." I said. He laughed at that too. I stood up, leaving the room as Ben closed the door quietly behind him. "Is that a problem?" He asked, pulling me in to his arms. "I guess not, just kind of weird. Our life is happening in a weird order." I said into his chest. He smelled so comforting. "Well whenever you feel ready, we can." He said. I smiled up at him. "What if I am?" I said. He kissed me. "Then I say we've got two hours and a sleeping baby, and a bed room across the house." He said, making me giggle. We started to kiss, as we made our way to the room.

He grabbed the stereo remote from behind me, turning it on. The song "Too Much Love Will Kill You" by Queen came on. The thought that this was our first time made me giggle again, making him laugh. "I love you so much. I love you and that precious life across the house. More than anything." He said, looking into my eyes. I smiled. "I love you, too. We both do. I'm so glad that I found you. I want you, now and forever," I said. "But I'll save that talk for my vows. For now, take your shirt off." I'll admit, I was eager. I've seen him shirtless- and damn did he look good. He laughed, following so. He took it off, and I grazed his chest and abs with my hand. I felt like I was basically drooling, when he grabbed my hand. "Your turn," He said. I smiled at him, slowly unbuttoning the baby vomit covered button up. Not the sexiest I guess. But I'm a mom, he should expect this.

He pulled me into another, deeper, kiss. He wrapped his arms around me, while undoing my bra. As of our minds were in sync, I jumped at the same time he pulled me up, wrapping my legs around him. He walked us over to the bed, and laid me down on it as he started kissing down my neck. This felt so normal, it was so nice. But, of course, was ruined when someone was knocking at my door. I threw on a t-shirt and angrily walked to the door. I could hear Ben chuckling behind me. Once I opened the door, my heart sank.

Austin.

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