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aplaceforyourhearttorest · 9 months

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Add One More ୨୧ James Hetfield

The screeches of gleeful and partially muted laughter reverberate through your underprepared eardrums as you exit your car, the anxiousness pulsating through you causing your expression to come off as unnecessarily guarded and closed off. Dry California air scuffles its way up to you and caresses your bare calves as you slowly make your way forward, the large estate of the private elementary school in front of you coming off as far more intimidating than you had originally hoped for with each step you take.

You tightly clutch onto the folded files in your slightly trembling grasp, the repetitive sound and rhythm of your heels making loud contact with the uneven terrain of concrete underneath you somehow helps ground you, as you make your way to the top of the walkway. Before you could even test the doorknob or raise your hand to notify the office to the left of you of your presence, the door slams open, and nearly collides with you.

"Sorry, sorry!" A youthful voice shouts out, as a clumsy hand grabs onto your shoulder, immediately halting the process of you beginning to stumble back in shock. A dark and widened pair of brown eyes stare back at you unblinkingly, wild and curly hair hiding half of his face as he waits for your reaction. "In a rush, y'know. Part of the cool uncle duties." You allow a small and hesitant smile to grace your face at his words, and an empathetic feeling rushes through you as the man no more than a few years older than you lets out a sigh of relief and rests his head against the now closed and heavy wooden door.

"Thank you for not spitting on me." He says in a dramatic tone, causing your eyebrows to raise in bewilderment as he lets you go. "And why in the world would I want to do that?" You ask him, feeling incredulous as the man in front of you sarcastically grins in response and lets out a weighted laugh. He wordlessly gestures down to his outfit, causing you to feel even more confused as you obligatorily take in his attire.

"Nice, you like rock music. But that doesn't answer my question." You muse, before nervously glancing through the nearest window to look at the clock. You straighten up as a monotonous warning bell rings out, signifying that you've got less than ten minutes to prepare yourself for your very first day of teaching and your very first class. "My type of clothing doesn't really blend in and mesh well in this part of town, especially with the parents that can afford this type of school. Usually I'd dapper up, but we were in a rush. Her dad and I and the rest of our band just got back from the last leg of our tour, and we all wanted to see her as soon as possible."

You take in his words with all-intent listening ears and full attention, despite the risk of you running late. "Seems to me like you all really care for her, which means a whole lot more to me than what you wear," you state, before reaching over to grab ahold of the other doorknob nearest to you. Your arm and upper back protest as you strain and tense to keep it agape, the stray tendrils of hair falling out of your bun from the wind tickling the nape of your neck as you turn to give him a quick and meaningful glance. "And if anyone gives you slack for how you dress instead of how you are as a person and how involved you are in your friend's child's life, then maybe they shouldn't feel welcome around here instead of you."

You send him a soft smile before taking a deep breath and moving forward, wincing as the door shuts harshly behind you due to a rough gust of wind, the sound culminating the attention of everyone in the office with a resounding whack! Multiple pairs of eyes focus in on you at once, causing the already uncomfortable long sleeve you're wearing to begin to feel even more suffocating. You go to open your mouth and say a greeting, before pausing as an indignant huff filters throughout the room instead.

"You cannot just come in here minutes before the homeroom bell, especially when you already missed the welcoming assembly yesterday." You hear an elderly woman scold, causing you to turn around to find the source of the harsh tone. The awkward smile you had resting on your face quickly turns into a frown as you take in the clearly displeased child in front of you, their expression filled with distaste and their right leg beginning to bounce off the ground with unhidden agitation and impatience. You instinctively move forward before you could give yourself the chance and the time to second guess it, making your way into the large gap between the two and kneeling before the younger. Bright blue eyes stare up at you as you place your weight onto the tips of your heels and make way into her line of vision, the lace on the bottom of your skirt raising itself up to rest against the tops of your now reddened kneecaps.

"Well, if that isn't the prettiest bow I've ever seen," you start, making sure to maintain eye contact with her as you raise a hand to tap it against the top of your head. "I usually wear one of my own, but I didn't think it'd go so well with the lack of pants and this super long blouse." The distasted look on the blonde's face slowly melts into mild interest as she keeps her gaze on you, before finally letting out a drawn-out breath and reaching down to grab ahold of her multicolored and embellished school bag. You tune in with slight relief as you watch the uneasy expression on her face slowly turn into a look of determination, as she searches through the now jumbled contents of her bag.

The older woman behind you lets out an exhausted exhalation, and you slowly begin to relax your body as you hear her start to make her descent away.

"Here," the young girl offers, her hand shyly holding out an identical looking accessory, the new and improved attitude behind her action much softer and more welcoming than before. You widen your eyes in an obvious dramatization, and you grin to yourself as she lets out an animated giggle, before twisting around to face the front desk and placing your hands on your legs to stabilize your balance.

"Would you be so kind to do the honors?" You ask in a faux serious voice, helpfully tilting your head back as you hear a small shuffle behind you. An amused hum follows the sound of movement, and you feel accomplished and proud as the bow is placed crookedly in your mane. You tilt your head side to side to make sure it's secure, and reassuringly nod to the receptionist as she sends you a hesitant and inquisitive look from behind a pile of unfinished paperwork.

"Thank you so much, princess!" You cheerfully gush out, turning back to face her with a genuine smile adorning your lips. Your chest tightens as you watch her eyes fill up with newfound happiness at the nickname, her uneven and endearing smile making you feel warm. "Eden." She announces, the ends of her hair smacking against the middle of her back as she kicks herself off of the chair and onto the carpeted floor with unconcealed vigor.

"Eden." You mimic back softly, reaching down to gently squeeze her hand in a comforting manner before fully standing back up once again. You glance out the window once you hand over your identification and grin as your eyes latch onto another familiar looking pair.

The young man from before sends you a grateful and beaming smile, before pointing down to Eden and giving you a thumbs up as he begins to walk backwards in an attempt of the moon walk. Eden lets out an amused chortle at his antics, before whispering out a still fairly loud farewell. "G'bye, Uncle Kirk!"

You make sure to repeat the name back to yourself quietly as you're handed a directory and the official bell begins to ring.

"Hey!" You look down as Eden comes over to stand beside you, her insistent fist finding purchase on your crumpled skirt as she tugs at it for your attention. The young girl seems to freeze in place as she tries to find the words to show her gratitude. Finally, she lets go and sends you a heartwarming smile, her hands gripping onto her backpack's straps with an excited haste. You continue to look down in her doe eyes as she seems to find her words, and you send her an amused look as she opens her mouth to speak intentionally slow. Instead of a proper full-length sentence, she instead playfully just says, "Thanks for everything."

"Don't even mention it, kiddo. And thanks for the new sick bow. Maybe it'll even give me some actual street cred and my fist graders might show me some real respect." Eden lets out a sound filled with mirth as she follows you out of the main office and into the now packed and frenzied hallway.

"Yeah, maybe. See you later, miss!" She yells out, the now loosening bow scrambling against the neckline of her oversized vest as she runs forward to her friends, her hands thrown up in the air, one waving back at you fervently. You watch her filter into the crowd, before turning around and carefully following the directions messily written on the top of the map in your hands, on a bright and highlighted sticky note. Looking up as the children in front of you giggle and smile and hug each other, the anxiety you felt earlier on your way on in becomes easily forgotten and long gone.

If the children are truly as happy as they seem and are as half as decent and sweet as Eden is, then you think you'll end up being just fine.

Dozens of feet excitedly pitter out of the classroom as the last bell of the day rings with finality. You groan out as you lie back on the hardwood floor beneath you, refusing to acknowledge the learning numbers blocks digging in the base of your spine. You hear a chuckle come from the doorway, causing you to twist your neck to the side and pop open a bleary eye.

"Still bouncing around with all that new teacher energy, I see." The woman you saw earlier from across the hall muses as she makes her way inside of the messy room, her feet expertly avoiding the toys on the ground without even having to look down. You let out an exhausted sound before slowly inching your way back up into a sitting position, your sore back from bending down all day cracking out loud in a painful protest. "I am the pinnacle of health and vitality, and I love my job." You deadpan, a laugh rumbling out of the two of you as you watch her catch onto the obvious, fake monotonous tone with matching energy and amusement.

"I think the only thing that makes the first day of teaching tolerable is the parent-teacher conference at the end of the day," she starts, her heavily ringed fingers reaching down to haphazardly toss the small and surrounding toys into the nearest bucket. You smile at her gratefully before standing up to do the same, and within minutes, the floor begins to look brand new. "The amount of fine, single rich men that send their children to this overpriced castle should be illegal."

You shake your head in humor-filled disbelief as she fans herself, before briefly leaning against you as another round of laughter runs through her trembling upper body.

"Anyone catch your eye yet?" You ask as you make your way around the classroom, your fingertips neatly rearranging the name cards on each of the assigned desks. "James Hetfield, man is all legs and fine and a half. Has a crazy daughter that likes to speak her mind and run about, but that doesn't deter me," you hum halfheartedly as you only half listen, your hands grabbing onto your files and unworn jacket over your already clean desk. "Her name is Eden, chaotic little thing. Runs around the entire school like it's her own home." The fellow teacher scoffs out, her voice still lighthearted but her expression showing a small bout of hostility and irritation. A fierce and unrelenting amount of annoyance runs through you as the younger girl's smiling face paints itself behind your eyelids, the strange protectiveness that pulses through you shocks you at the fact that you feel so strongly for a little girl you barely even know.

"Children are supposed to be excitable and energetic, that's how you know they come from a happy home." You defend, making sure to keep your tone neutral as you turn off the lights and allow her to walk out of the classroom first. She lets out a sound of acknowledgment as she walks past you but doesn't verbally answer you or care to elaborate. You let out a muted sigh as you follow her down the now secluded and empty hallways. Awkwardness begins to surround the two of you as you travel in silence, before a sudden and loud cheer echoes its way down the corridor as the auditorium's doors are pushed wide open.

"This way." She announces, her flat covered feet obnoxiously smacking against the linoleum as she quickens up her already hurried strides. You let out a puff of exalted air as you stop to take a break, your chest nearly heaving as you finally get to and enter the overly lit room. Multiple lines of cushioned chairs greet you and snugly fit around your hips as you make your way through the overcrowded pit of teachers and students and parents, your eyes widening as you lose the teacher from earlier in the crowd.

"Shit." You whisper out, your fingers wrapping around the cuffs of your long sleeves as your eyes frantically search for any familiar looking faces. Relief floods through you in a heavy wave as your eyes pick up a wild mane of curly hair in your peripheral vision, and you make your way over to Kirk on autopilot, your sweaty palms cloying against the irritating silk of your shirt. "Kirk, right?" You ask, your voice coming out as soft and anxious ridden as his head snaps your way at the sound of his name. Kirk's eyes light up as he recognizes you, and you sigh out as he gently yanks you forward and toward a much quieter and less crowded part of the room.

"Good to see you! You look about ten seconds away from shitting yourself." He greets, his tone welcoming but borderline teasing. You send him an exasperated smile as you take in his new outfit. "And you look like a brand new man! Trying to fit into the overbearing stereotypes around here, huh?" Kirk grins, welcoming in the much-deserved snark with open arms, before turning around to lightly push two other men forward. "These two hot messes are Lars and Jason, drummer and bassist of our very new and upcoming band," The man introduced as Lars sarcastically rolls his eyes before greeting you with a sly grin and a raised cup. Jason gives you a heartwarming smile and an excited wave, before bending down and going on to talk animatedly with a just as invested looking little boy. "Our frontman is around here somewhere, probably getting swarmed by a bunch of middle-aged married women, with more artificial estrogen packed up inside of them than an obgyn's office." A rough petal of laughter bursts from in between your lips at the unexpected jab, and you flush as unknown and judgmental eyes dance their way over to you and spectate.

Before you could fret over it, a small bound of energy collides into you, causing you to let out a punched-out breath as Eden grins up at you. "Miss, you're here!" An unfightable smile makes its way onto your face as you feel her jump against you in excitement, the crown of her head barely brushing above your bellybutton and one of flapping hands smacking against your inner elbow. "Hi there," you coo down at her, your hands instinctually coming up to flatten and rearrange her now messy and windblown hair. "Been having fun, haven't you?" You ask, mirth filling your tone as she nods against your palms. You pause in place as a throat clears itself near you, and your breath catches in your chest as you look up and lock eyes with a clearly handsome and attractive man making his way over to the two of you.

"Daddy!" Eden all but screams out as she looks over at her father, who is too busy staring at you. Deep ocean blue eyes catapult themselves into your own as you stare up at the frontman in front of you, your eyes becoming heavy and lidded as he looks into yours with enormous expression. James begrudgingly breaks the eye contact as his daughter calls out for him once again, and a smile creeps on his face as he takes in her content and happy body language and attitude. "Hi, my little bug!" He exclaims, laughter ringing out from the both of them as he lunges forward and brings her into a joyous hug. You place your now hanging hands on the top of your stomach as you gulp in a deep breath of much needed air, your heart pounding in your chest as you watch the two of them lovingly greet each other with butterflies raging in your middle.

"This is the teacher I told you about earlier," Kirk says once James has Eden cuddled up in his arms, said daughter with her head resting on his broad shoulder and a dopey grin encapsulating her entire face. "Calmed the little terror down faster than I've ever even seen you do it." James' eyes flicker over to yours once again, and you exhale shakily as his gaze slowly takes in the entirety of you and your figure.

"We even match with bows now, daddy." Eden says against his brown and fur-lined jacket, her voice now lilted and tinged with slowly creeping up exhaustion. You shyly smile before absentmindedly reaching up to touch the accessory with unsteady fingertips, trying terribly hard to fight back the blush trying to break out on your already heating up cheeks.

"Looks beautiful." James responds, the timbre in his voice causing a shiver to caress itself down your spine, and you have to look away from the duo to catch your bearings. You send Kirk a halfhearted glare as he beams back at you with a knowing and shit eating grin. Lars raises an eyebrow at your look of fluster, before returning his attention back to the woman hovering close next to him.

Before anyone else could speak up, a loud static-filled sound blares out from a nearby speaker, causing you to flinch and for Eden to jolt up and let out a shocked cry. James lets out a curse and glares toward the apologetic looking principal holding a microphone, who then ushers everyone to sit down as the lights begin to lessen and dim. You purse your lips as you look around in worry, you quickly noticing that all of the chairs surrounding you were currently filled. Before you could back away and find a seat elsewhere, James suddenly stands up and beckons for you to come over. He sends you a gentle smile and shakes his head as he takes in your hesitant expression, shifting his now relaxed and once again nearly sleeping daughter on his hip as he lowers himself to sit on the ground near your feet.

"I can't let you sit on the ground, especially with Eden in your arms." You protest quietly, leaning downward as you watch her eyes fully close. "I'm not letting you do anything, doll. I'm simply volunteering." James rebuts, the teasing grin on his lips causing you to bite your own to hide a smile from the spontaneous term of endearment, and his eyes follow the movement before jumping back up to yours. The air seems to dense and thicken as you two continue to look at each other, and you begin to feel overwhelmed as a variety of want and need and interest paints itself of James' face as he stares up at you in the now barely lit room. His body warmth purges against you with how close he is, and you have to stop yourself from jolting as Jason faces him and starts up a brand-new conversation, the bassist unknown of the tension in between the two of you and what he just broke.

James sends you a barely concealed wink before resting back against the front of your legs and turning his head to join in on the quiet conversation with Jason, who's sat next to him with a hand comfortingly rubbing small circles into his niece's relaxed back.

You try to focus in on what the principal is droning on about, but the effort turns futile as your legs begin to vibrate from the father's answering laughter and your eyes keep compulsively checking up on the now sleeping young girl, who's quickly beginning to grow on you, her father and his bandmates included. Smiling tiredly at the thought, you fight back a yawn as you feel James place some of his weight on the tops of your knees, the strangely comforting addition and gesture making the urge to close your eyes too strong to resist as time goes on.

A large and loud collection of relieved sighs echo out around the room and land beside you in a cacophony of noise, causing you to open your eyes and slowly readjust to your surroundings. You wince as the light in the auditorium begins to brighten once again, and you furrow your eyebrows as you realize you're unable to use and move your legs to fully sit back up. Looking down, a smile begins to grow on your lips as you take in the sight before you. James' head lies and rests back on your kneecaps, his lips partially open as he steadily breathes in and out, with his left arm and hand wrapped protectively around Eden, who's still asleep on his shoulder and chest.

You shift over to try and nudge Kirk to share the view with him of the father and daughter duo but have to end up holding in a laugh instead, as soon as you see him sprawled out and deeply asleep in the seat next to you. Lars sends you a gentle smile as he makes eye contact with you, before nodding down at your lower half.

"It's been a long week for all of us, especially James. Damn near tried kicking his own ass when he wasn't able to be the one to drop her off on her first day." He whispers, his accent soothing in the low tone and his eyes softening as he watches his bandmate and close friend sleep. You look down at the man's face resting against you and feel sympathy as you take in the slight bags underneath his eyes, fighting back the urge to run your fingers through his long hair sprawled out against your hips and thighs.

You hold in a gasp as you feel his fingertips twitch against your ankle, his right hand seemingly wrapped around your limb in a subconscious embrace the entire time the both of you had drifted off and slept.

"I probably shouldn't tell you this, and I'll most definitely blame this on the vodka I snuck in here about three hours ago, but," your eyes widen in shock as the drummer grins at you tipsily, before shrugging carelessly and continuing. "They've had a rough last couple of years, with the band blowing up and us having to leave intermittently to go on tour states away and overseas. They both get attached real easily, and Eed is getting to that age where she's starting to question why people stop showing up at their doorstep. I know you're just a teacher at her school, and not even specifically her own, but if you're going to just hang around for a little while and then end up leaving in the end, I recommend you do it now. She's already lost a mother figure, and she doesn't need the other one to be fully gone off after another woman leaves again either."

You try to blink away the sting enveloping in your eyes as Lars' tone of voice becomes more weighted and serious, the drastic change in conversation and topic making you feel uncomfortable and on edge. "Where is this coming from? I don't understand." You trail off, the lighthearted feeling in your chest now gone as your hands reach up to wrap around your forearms in much needed self-comfort.

"I'm not saying this with any ill intention. I think it's great that you've been able to bond with the kid so quickly and easily, and I genuinely like you. But you're new, and you're the youngest teacher who's been accepted to teach here in the past few years we've been visiting. Getting too close to a student so fast and having their father be so attracted to you on the jump isn't the smartest and best thing for you to get yourself involved in. And it won't be easy either, so if this isn't what you're prepared to sign up for, it's your time to leave."

"I don't think that's your place to say, man." Jason adds in from below, his face set in a grimace as he looks up and sees the carefully placed neutral look on your face. You take in a deep inhalation and send them both a fictious smile, before gently tapping the father on his back to wake him up.

James sits up straight as you come into view, and confusion immediately sets in as he sees the downtrodden and uncharacteristic expression on your face. "What's going on?" He asks you, looking down at Eden and letting out a relieved breath as soon as his eyes land on her still sleeping form. "Excuse me." You whisper out, before hastily standing up and trying to make your way through the crowd.

Lars lets out a scoff as he watches your retreating figure disappear in the pit of people, ignoring the feeling of his heart dropping in his chest as his eyes catch sight of your hiccupping and rising and falling shoulders. "Figures." He grits out, hiding his dismay and disappointment behind his raised cup as he finishes the rest of its contents. Kirk groans as he stretches out his tense joints, his eyes immediately darting to your now empty and cold chair. "Where'd she go?" He asks innocently, his question going unanswered as James' sight zeroes in on his abnormally quiet and fidgety bandmate.

"What the hell did you do?" James asks the drummer, now wide awake and glaring at his guilty looking, long time best friend. Jason reaches forward to carefully detach his niece from his friend's shoulders, and places her in his arms instead. Kirk perks up as the bassist cocks his head to the side, insinuating for them to move and make some distance from their other bandmates. "Lars said some shit to the new teacher that he shouldn't have. It was way too soon." Jason explains, saving the man beside him the wasted breath of asking what was going on again.

Kirk sends Lars an exasperated look, the drummer catching it and looking down at his feet as James berates him from only a handful of feet away. Letting out a sigh and leaning against the tiled wall behind him, Kirk sighs out and glances at your empty seat once again.

"What else is new."

James lets his shoulders slump down in automatic reassurance at the sight of you alone, the relief hitting him full swing as he finds you outside and not already running for the hills.

"He didn't have the right to say all of that to you." James says in greeting, making sure to maintain a few feet of distance in between the two of you as he watches you tense up and only partially glance his way. "He's just looking out for you, I get that. The harshness of his tone is what got to me, is all." you breathe out through a forced, shuttering laugh. The frontman's eyes widen as he takes in your tear tracked and stained cheeks.

"He saw me break down after Eden's mom left, and he's been overprotective of me ever since." You shake your head and send him a small smile, before lifting yourself up to sit on the freezing cold brick wall behind you. "You don't have to explain yourself to me, James. You don't owe me anything." James fights back a shudder as he hears you say him name for the first time, the calming and stabilizing tone giving him enough bravery to step forward and closer to you.

"I do owe you, a few things, actually. This morning I was stuck in a meeting, almost close to tearing my own hair out while talking about the next album release and feeling like absolute shit at having to beg my clearly exhausted bandmate to take my daughter to school, because I couldn't. The very same bandmate of mine who feels like he's always being judged when he comes over to this side of town. So, while I'm stressed out and pacing around and hoping to God that my daughter makes it on time to her first day of the new school year, I get a call from one of my best friend's and immediately start to feel better."

You listen to him vehemently, unable to hold his intense eye contact as he stops only a few inches away from you. James has to physically stop himself back from reaching out and holding onto you and pleading for you to look up at him.

"Kirk tells me that he meets an amazing girl, pretty close to us in age range. And not only does she make him feel welcomed and understood within the first few minutes of him meeting and speaking to her, but she's also able to easily calm down my clearly distraught and upset daughter, who just wants to stay at home and spend some time with her irresponsible dad."

You let out an airy gasp as he places his left hand on top of yours and interlaces your fingers together. You look up in his eyes and remain that way until he begins to speak again, and even after that.

"And then I make my way over here once classes are done. And I'm stressed out and running all around the school looking for my little girl, who I just so happen to find in your arms and looking up at you like you just stole the sun and handed it to her on a silver platter. I haven't seen Eden look so relaxed and content with anyone who isn't part of the band or an immediate family member. And then I see the way you look at her, all unassuming and caring and understanding. So, when Lars said I'm attracted to you, he wasn't wrong with that. I think you're beautiful, but not just in the physical sense. I think you're light, and I think you're the positivity that the both of us may just need."

James moves forward until his chest is pressed against yours, and you blink back tears as you stare into his honest eyes. You take in a deep breath before you begin to speak, your heart pounding just from the close proximity.

"I think you're a pretty good dad," You start, letting out a wet laugh as James' eyebrows furrow at your words. "Let me finish. I think you're too hard on yourself, and I think if I went up and asked anyone who knows or knew you, they'd immediately agree. Your eyes lit up as soon as you saw Eden, who then met with you halfway with so much enthusiasm and glee. If you were an absent or poor parent, she wouldn't have reacted that way towards you. I've been around enough bad parents to know that, at the very least. You care so much about her education and her being on time for her first day of school, that you sent Kirk over to take her, even though you knew that you would feel guilty after by just having him drop her off." You place a light fingertip on the bottom of his chin as he looks back at you with wide, encapsulating eyes. You hold back a smile as the stubble of his facial hair tickles the tip of your finger.

"I think you need to give yourself some more credit. Because you barely know me, and yet you're standing out in the middle of the freezing cold with me in the pitch black, making sure that I'm okay." James grins at you softly and shakes his head to ground himself and to remind himself that this moment is real, before reaching up to encircle his large and calloused hand around your wrist. He presses a warm and reassuring kiss on your fingertip and watches intently as a bright flush makes its way up to the apples of your cheeks.

"I'm not sure where pursuing this is going to take me, but I hope it takes me somewhere with you. From the moment I heard about you, I was interested. But from the moment I saw you, I was completely fucked," you laugh loudly at the vulgarity of his words, causing James' smile to increase tenfold and his dimpled cheeks to become sore from the stretch. "So, if you would allow me, I'd like to kiss the ever-living shit out of you, and then get my daughter and go get us some dinner."

"You're going to take your daughter out to dinner and leave me here alone? A table for two?" You tease, letting out a shocked inhalation as he loops his fingers inside of your skirt's belt notches to yank you forward.

"Add one more." James murmurs, before grabbing onto your waist and leaning forward to attach his smile to yours. Warmth fills you as the hands gripping your waist slide around your middle and envelop you into a tight hug, your lips parting as his tongue sneakily peeks out to taste the bare skin of your bottom lip. James slides his tongue against yours and groans at the taste of you, before letting out a guttural moan against your mouth as you intertwine your fingers in the strands of his slightly curled hair and yank. You smirk against him before slowly leaning back, feeling triumphant as you take in the drunken and swept away look on his face.

"So, where are you taking us to dinner?" You breathe out cheekily, watching with humor-filled eyes as the man in front of you has to visibly collect himself. "Wherever you want and whatever you want, just so long as I can experience that again."

You bite your bottom lip and grin widely at him, glancing away from James as the opening of the main doors momentarily steals your attention. Jason makes his way out first, his expression turning hopeful as he takes in the happy looks on your faces, Eden slowly coming back to in his arms and letting out a quiet yawn against his jacket. Kirk comes out next and hot on his tail, his face lifting as he looks in between the two of you, before suddenly turning smug. "I knew leaving the two of them alone would be a good idea." He announces into the cold and frigid air, his adorable and crooked smile a contrasting brightness in the night's dark.

"And none of this would have even happened if it wasn't for me and my inability to keep my fucking mouth shut," Lars nearly shouts, looking over at you with an apologetic and small smile as the door behind him slams shut. "Sorry about that, by the way." You wave a hand at him and gently guide him out of the way as other attendees tiredly make their way out, and you hold back a laugh as the teacher from earlier gapes at the position you two relax in.

"See you on Monday!" You say to her as a farewell, quiet and unmanageable laughter jostling you to the core as you watch her nearly stumble as she shakes her head, before walking forward with a disbelieving grin on her lips.

Eden beams at you once you come into her line of view, after she fully raises her head and looks around. She hurriedly taps on Jason's shoulder to be let down, nearly running over to the two of you before her feet are able to fully hit the ground. You lift her up to sit her on the brick wall beside you and quickly place her hands in the large pocket of your coat nearest to her. "Warm enough?" You ask her, a seemingly permanent contentment filling you to the brim as she smiles up at you and nods enthusiastically.

The other men all quickly say their goodbyes in order of who they're closest to and turn to run towards the SUV they made their way over in, while you encircle your arms around the younger as the three of you hastily make your way over to your car. You quietly thank James by placing a kiss on his cheek as he takes Eden from your arms and guides her into the back seat. You smile widely as the man before you turns bright red, before hopping into the driver's sides seat as the wind begins to pick up.

"So, where are you taking us to dinner?" James mimics you from earlier, causing you to let out a huff of laughter as you turn the temperature dials to the right to blast the heat. You look in the rearview mirror and smile to yourself as you watch Eden strap herself in and make herself comfortable. You lean over to place a meaningful kiss on James' lips as a response once you're sure the younger isn't looking and find complete and utter fulfillment in the look of bliss on your handsome man's face.

Wherever the two of you will and may be, just add one more.

#metallica #james hetfield #james hetfield fluff #james hetfield smut #james hetfield x reader #kirk hammett #jason newsted #lars ulrich #metallica x reader #metallica imagines #metallica smut

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kirkewrites · 6 months

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looking for more rp partners on discord!! would absolutely love another small town mumu (multimuse) or two, extra info about me & what i'm looking for under the cut!

hiya, thanks for clickin!! my name is mo! i'm 28, she/her, and i'm in the PST timezone! i'm exclusively looking for rp partners who are at least 21+ please (but preferably closer to my age)! i write on discord only in a private rp server (with tupperbox!) i'll make for us!! i looove organization and will make us some character & ship categories, as well as a town worldbuilding section, i'll also keep track of things like the in-game calendar and timelines in reference to our threads!! once i get invested in an rp, i'm IN THERE in there

i write all genders, but i only write f/f, m/f, and nb ships! i'm looking for writing partners who are similar in enjoying and wanting to write all genders (and who have equal muse for all their characters regardless of gender) as i'm interested in exploring multiple ships and characters! i am also looking for a partner who likes to write a wide variety of ages, as I enjoy writing characters anywhere between the ages of 20s-50s! i prefer using & being opposite by faceclaims with resources from films & tv (i'm not interested in opposites such as sabrina carpenter, harry styles, madison beer, and the like)

i'd love an rp partner who loves to worldbuild, plot, write headcanons (or do little rp memes), share inspo stuff, and chat ooc! pinterest boards and playlists are a bonus! i really enjoy building a friendship with my rp partners as well as a fun, collaborative writing experience! i would absolutely LOVE to create a small town with a new partner and come up with its location, the names of shops and other places, some NPC names, maybe plot up some town lore & history, ect, and fill it up with a bunch of diverse characters and relationships we can continue to add on to over time! i'm interested in exploring relationships of all kinds, including romantic, platonic, familial, antagonistic, ect! for example, new budding romances, exes on good and/or bad terms, toxic exes or relationships, old high school sweethearts, best friends, friends who fell out or grew apart, close siblings, sibling rivals, and just other fun and/or complicated connections ahoy! i just love multi-muses and being able to write a living, breathing town filled with characters who can all freely interact with each other!

because i'd love a slowly expanding cast of characters (maybe start with 2-3 characters each and go from there?), it's very preferable to me that replies stay on the shorter side, as in one paragraph or less (unless the thread is really plot significant or intense/emotional! ik those can get away for us length-wise LOL) this way we can prioritize quality over quantity, and actually get to see relationships & plots evolve over time in many threads rather than spend weeks or months on a single thread and never actually get to all the good stuff we've plotted. in my experience, it's way more fun to have an evolving mumu where replies take maybe 5-10 minutes to write, and it also allows us to keep the progress of the rp going at a continual pace, which keeps it fun, exciting, and fresh!

i am happy to write smut when the relationship/thread calls for it, and i also enjoy nsfw headcanons alongside sfw ones! i'd say i prefer a 80/20 story to smut ratio. i am also comfortable with most dark or complicated themes, but this will probably be case by case basis. i'm looking for a soap opera inspired town mumu, basically! a good variety mix of drama & intrigue, angst & fluff, smut & sweetness, tragedy & other dark themes, ect, but nothing too intensely or consistently dark or taboo

i'd consider myself to be a pretty active rp partner for the most part (i'm in college plus i work sporadic hours as a private tutor) and when replies are on the shorter side, i can usually do at least one set of replies (if we are writing multiple threads at a time, i personally enjoy writing 2 at a time!) a day, but likely more, and i'm down for rapid-fire sessions as well when i can! i prefer my partner to have similar activity (it's difficult for me to stay invested in an rp when it mostly just consists of hcs & shared inspo, and when there is very little actual writing happening), though i don't at ALL want my partner to feel pressured to write replies!! it's just a hobby, not a jobby! things happen & life gets busy! but i really appreciate communication and transparency with rp friends! just lmk what's up and i'll do the same for you! and if you can't do replies for some reason, i'm always happy to just chat ooc or do some inspo chatting or plotting!!

this got so long, if you read all of it ily! if you have any questions or are interested in all this shit by me, please send me an IM!! or if you like or comment on this ad, i'll reach out to you! ty!! if i don't reach out it's because i found something in your guidelines that i don't think is compatible with this plot ad (usually has to do with desired reply length being multi-paragraph/novella, listed low activity, if the blog is heavily smut-centric, or rules state exclusively wanting to write one gender or kind of ship) but if your guidelines are out of date pls feel free to reach out anyway!!

#discord 1x1 #1x1 #discord rp #1x1 mumu

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moisssofrp · 2 months

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random rp idea / dead dove

was reading something i had an idea for an a 1x1 smut rp (could turn into more, if we want to expand and pick up more characters) as the option for more plot but can also just be smut / o for a mxm rp!

check under cut

warning: dead dove, in**c, dub/non-con/looking for someone to play dom/top male. super buff dom or flipping it and someone cute/unexpected for a top.

to the point. my muse is older in his late 30's or so. he's divorced and was a shitty dad who focused on work. bad personality, was spoiled going up. def a brat when dynamics come into play. honestly, is a bit of mess and just needs someone to iron him out a little. either way, he was a shitty dad to his daughter and they re-connect a bit before the wedding. this is late his last chance to have her in his life. your muse is dating the daughter, he is a bad guy, trashy guy, the kind of guy dad was when he was younger but she's smitten (really, your muse can be rich or whatever or poor but her mothers family has money and influence and that's the prime motive. doesn't take the relationship serious.)

your muse wants mines and he's also used to getting what he wants in his life. starts to makes moves, touching, out-right sex and dangling it over my muses head that if he fucks up with him, then he won't have a relationship with his daughter. his choice.

i have a few reasons for why he would do it or you could have your own! i'll list them and also, some kinks and etc i'd like to include! such as dub/non-con, somnophilia, forced fem, manipulation, cheating, blackmail, brain-washing...in a way? there is a reason why my guy falls so easily but stills resist and that could be explore if we wanted to add in a bit more plot. toys, public sex, risky sexual situations, maybe romance? if your muse truly starts to throw in romance to get him to fall into the trap...desperation, my muse does something to lose your and does whatever to get him back. possibly in**cest? depending on how we do the plot? the ages can be flipped if you want it to be a younger guy or your muse is an older guy dating his young daughter. humiliation (plan on making my muse have a small cock), group sex...maybe? possibly mpreg if your down!

this is super open! i have one more but it'll be in the tags!

reasons!

your muse simply has taken to mine, maybe my muse was rude in private on the first meeting and your muse wants to blackmail them

access to the muse my money has

he's just sick like that

if we do incest, maybe your muse is a son mines gave up shortly before he had his daughter

like this and i'll come to your or message me!

#dead dove smut rp #gay male rp #discord smut rp #smut rp #mxm smut rp #dead dove rp #dead dove roleplay #possibly #race play #if your into it #same for water sports

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badger-bear · 2 years

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I normally put books first since I typically read more fics but this month I read a lot of books. I also decided to add my reviews of the books because I said so, really I have no other reasoning.

Fics

So Happy To Be With You Right Now by @tommokat

Harry and Louis scroll through the 2022 Met Gala looks.

Subverting Expectations @disgruntledkittenface

“Do you have a cigarette?”

If Harry thought the question would shock Louis, she would've been wrong. Louis doesn’t even look startled, even though it’s the first time one of them has spoken. She smirks at Harry in the mirror.

“We’re not supposed to do that anymore,” she says, her raspy voice full of mirth. Like she’s amused at Harry or something. “It’s bad for the paintings or whatever.”

“And you’re not a bad girl,” Harry says, turning to face Louis. She leans her hip against the counter, determined to both gain the upper hand and not think about why she wants to. “Right?”

Harry goes to the ladies’ room at the Met Gala expecting a cigarette and a break from the boredom. Instead, she gets Louis.

Stranger Coffees by @chai-hat-tea

Harry wants to start his perfect weekend by having his favourite coffee from his favourite café, but the stranger with the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen was never part of the plan. Or is he really a stranger?

Or, the cliche coffee shop AU.

It’s Been So Long by @littleroverlouis

“I don’t make it a habit of marrying boring broads,” Louis muses.

Harry snorts. ”Or staying married to us bad bitches. Cheers to my favorite ex-wife!”

The pair toasts each other with their icy margaritas.

Silver Foxes Louis and Harry have a long, complicated relationship that is hotter than a jetstream burning up. What happens if they roll and they roll 'til they change their luck?

Rimadon by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

Zayn books a private session with Louis the day after Eid al-Fitr to keep his own personal celebration going.

To Sleep, Perchance to Ream by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

Louis has never minded that Harry tends to go to sleep earlier than her. But the nights when Harry signals she'd like Louis to...wake her when she comes to bed are Louis' favorite.

Harry, You’re No Good Alone by @cinemastan

“Can I do anything for you, Daddy?” He asked sweetly, giving Louis big eyes.

“No, baby. Did enough just letting me please you.” Louis gently tucked a curl behind Harry’s ear. “Did you want any breakfast?”

Harry couldn’t help but frown. “I-what?”

I'd Walk Through Fire For You (Just Let Me Adore You) by @neondiamond

Firefighter Louis is having an uneventful shift at the station when a call comes in about a devastating fire in a nearby apartment complex. All of his worst nightmares become reality when he realises it’s where Harry, his best friend who he’s had a relentless crush on for years, lives, and that said best friend is stuck inside among the flames.

Books

You and Me by Tal Bauer

A single dad’s romance/bisexual awakening/friends to lovers

This book destroyed me in the best way. The dad’s were keeping their relationship a secret from their respected kids so I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and when it did, wow! I was not expecting the twist. I loved Luke’s bisexual awakening. Luke and Landon’s friendship was amazing to witness and I loved watching them realize their friendship wasn’t ever just friendship.

Funny Feelings by Tara DeWitt

Fake dating/boss and employee/single father

This was pretty cute, I’m not a big fan of stand-up comedians so why I decided to read a book about stand-up comedians is beyond me. I liked the relationship between Farley and Hazel, it was really sweet from the beginning. Overall it was okay, didn’t regret reading it at least.

214 Palmer Street by Karen McQuestion

a psychological thriller

So it’s fitting her last name is McQuestion because wow do I have some McQuestion’s. I was able to guess everything that was going to happen which was such a bummer when it comes to a psychological thriller. I loved the premise of the book and I would love to know why the author chose certain plot lines that she did. The villain had good reasoning and I wish the author would have given her one more push to her madness.

The Caretaker by Emily Shiner

a psychological thriller

I read this right after 214 Palmer Street because I was desperate for a thrill and it delivered! It gave me the creeps the entire read and even afterwards when I was telling my husband about it. I loved that each character’s flaws. Reading Paul’s spiral was seamless and creepy. The ending was frustrating but in a good way. This book will stay with me when I’m home alone for sure.

One Percent of You by Michelle Gross

enemies to lovers/single mother romance

The best part of this book was when Elijah steals Lucy’s chips in the grocery store aisle and hisses at her. It’s a cute read and Elijah’s protectiveness over Hadley and her children was sweet. I wish there seemed to be more of a inner fight with Elijah and deciding to be a family man. Overall it was a cute read, if not a little forgettable.

Lilacs and Leather by Thora Wood

a pack bond abo

I loved this book so much. I don’t go into reading het abo with a lot of high hopes since I’m not a huge traditional abo lover. I love the bond the pack has though- they all have different sexualities and different kinds of love which I really appreciated. I found myself yelling at a few of the characters but they really developed through the second book. The ending of this one had me immediately downloading the second and reading as quickly as I could.

Lavender and Lightening by Thora Wood

sequel to Lilacs and Leather. a pack bond abo

I was on the edge of my seat through most of this book. I loved the development of Lydia and Lex’s relationship, that was probably my favorite part of the book. I’m eagerly awaiting the third part.

Praise by Sara Cate

age gap/taboo relationship, boss/employee, bdsm

Seeing as how this book is about the relationship between a father and his son’s ex-girlfriend, I expected a back and forth on deciding if the relationship was worth it to pursue. However, some of it was irritating to keep reading. The sex in this was super hot and I loved Charlotte’s sexual awakening and confidence she gained. I also love the acceptance from Emerson and Charlotte’s trans little sister Sophie.

Eyes on Me by Sara Cate

age gap/taboo relationship, bdsm, grumpy and sunshine characters

This isn’t a direct sequel to Praise but it features overlapping characters. The male lead in this co owns the bdsm club Emerson runs in Praise. I didn’t mind reading the step brother and step sister romance, I knew what I was getting into when I began it. The most unrealistic plot point was their parents approval. I totally understand the want of a happy ending but I would almost rather them have had to run away together. Just like the first book in the series, the sex was hot and overall it was alright.

Love In The City by Jen Morris

single dad, neighbors, enemies to lovers

By the time I wanted to put this book down and not finish it, I was a hundred pages from the end so I stuck it out. I understand why the author used the single dad trope but it was pointless at the end of the day. The kid was forgotten about half the time and the female lead hardly interacted with the kid. I loved Alex’s backstory and wish the author did more with the relationship with her parents. Michael was lowkey toxic and I actually dislike that they were together in the end.

Owned By a Sinner by Michelle Heard

an Irish mafia romance

I enjoyed the majority of this book. The sex was hot, the Romeo and Juliet element was great. The sexual assault wasn’t unnecessary to the plot, which sometimes I find authors adding for the hell of it. I liked Liam and Kiara’s relationship and the trust she felt in him. For once I wish this wasn’t a standalone and the book hadn’t ended the way it did.

Love Language by Reece Morrison

gay bdsm age gap/dom/sub relationship

I loved the inclusivity of this book but not much else to be honest. The sex scenes were hot and I liked Marco’s Daddy Dom persona. I couldn’t connect with the characters like I hoped I would. If I met them out and about I wouldn’t want to be friends with them. Overall the writing wasn’t bad, I just couldn’t connect.

Love Lessons by Reece Morrison

gay bdsm/age play relationship

Admittedly, I only read this because I am currently trying to write an age play fic. Again, I love the inclusivity of the characters- deaf characters, ace characters, gender fluid characters. Some of the sex scenes were hot but overall I found myself getting tired of one of the main characters. I understood their backstory and what led them to be who they are but I honestly just didn’t like them very much. Like the first book in the series, I didn’t mind the writing. I just couldn’t connect.

Tangled Vows by Anna Stone

lesbian fake dating au

It was okay, honestly. The most remarkable part was that they were woman. The sex scenes were okay and I liked some of the side plots but unfortunately they weren’t explored a lot.

Montana Daddies Series by Laylah Roberts

dom/sub, age play romances

Alright listen, I debated on whether I really wanted to admit to reading this series but here I am lmao I am only on book 4 but I’m going to read them all so I’m including them in this months list even though I haven’t finished. Each book is a with a different man so they are all a little different but the premise is the same. Damsel in distress doesn’t realize she is a Little and she meets the man who happens to be a Daddy Dom and shows her her true self and they live together on Sanctuary Ranch where they live and work. Overall, the writing is decent. The plots can be good but there are some elements of dubious consent that the author never addresses. For example, the daddy dom’s somehow knowing the woman is a Little and convincing her to give it a try. It’s like, not great. The woman gives in and there are safe words in place but sometimes it feels icky. Am I going to keep reading the series? Unfortunately. In my defense, it’s part research part curiousity.

#may reads #28th appreciation #monthly reads #2022 reads

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silverwings22 · 2 years

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Caught in the Crosshairs: Chapter 15 Falling Inside the Black: Skillet

Series warnings: Smut, mind control, canon typical violence, childhood trauma, language, chronic illness

Chapter warnings: SMUT, crippling self doubt, references to child-stealing, really painful foreshadowing if you've seen the series

Translations: cyare: beloved

Previous chapter:

Next chapter:

"I don't like the sounds of this mission, General. This isn't our usual style." Hunter and Miria sat on the bridge, reviewing their latest dossier.

"I'm not too thrilled with it myself. I've faced Ventress before, but her master? That's an entirely different matter." Her fingers drummed busily against the armrest of her chair, the only indication she was anything but serene. "This will require careful planning."

The mission was straightforward. Get into Dooku's castle on Serenno, hack his private server, and use the data to flush traitors from the Republic. Miria was far more preoccupied with something she remembered from Geonosis.

"What if I told you the Republic was under the power of a dark lord of the Sith?"

She'd assumed then that Dooku was the Sith he'd referred to… Ventress the apprentice that replaced Maul and fulfilled the Law of Two. But something didn't add up to her, and she couldn't explain why.

"How are we even going to get in? Tech could try that tunneling mechanism he's been working on." He mused.

"No. I don't think that will be necessary." She mused. "A door will do."

"I don't like the look on your face, General." Hunter frowned.

Miria smiled sheepishly. "You should be able to just walk in the back door while he's answering the front."

"And why would he do that?"

"Because I'm going to knock."

Hunter blinked. "With all due respect, General…. Are you insane? He'd kill you on sight."

"No he won't. You forget, Dooku was a Jedi once, too. He may have strayed from the path but his methods are shaped by the Order, as mine are. And he tried to convince Obi-wan to join him on Geonosis. He's going to want to make me see things his way. " She rested her chin on her steepled fingers. "Maybe I'll finally understand how one of the most decorated knights fell into darkness…"

"Crosshair's gonna lose his shit."

"Oh, I'm sure. But I'm prepared to handle this. We've been on more missions than I'd care to count by now, what's one more?"

"You've got a hell of a lot more to lose now, you know."

She smiled. "That's just more reasons to fight as hard as I can. I need you to trust me, Hunter. Can you?"

He sighed. "You know I do."

"Then get the guys ready for a brief. We'll need to land far enough away from the castle to avoid being noticed."

"You're explaining this." He sighed. "Meet you in the cockpit."

She nodded quietly. "Of course."

Hunter trundled off and she leaned back in the command chair. This was exhausting, the grind of battle clinging to her skin.

Not much longer. It's coming together, I'll be able to settle down with Crosshair and be at peace…

She heaved herself upward and went to see about the boy's brief. They weren't going to like this.

She settled into her seat in the cockpit, looking at four pairs of expectant eyes. "We're dealing with a Sith, gentlemen. This is going to be one of our most difficult missions yet. Fortunately, this Sith was once a Jedi. I believe I can keep him distracted long enough for you to get into the system." She lay the specs for the castle down for them to look at. "There is a rear servant's entrance and he is running with a skeleton crew of four servants at this time. Just enough to maintain the household. With Hunter's senses, it should be no trouble to avoid them."

"And you will be in combat with him the whole time?" Tech frowned.

"Goodness, I hope not. Dooku was a cut above the other duelists in the order. Even at his age, he defeated Anakin and Obi-wan on Geonosis, and they're better duelists than I."

"Then there's no way you're going in there alone." Crosshair hissed.

"Yes, I am. It will be fine. I'm going talk to him." She smiled.

"Talk to him?!" He started. "He's a fucking Si-"

Miria leaned up across her seat and kissed him. "Hush."

He grumbled, but pulled her to him and she finished the brief from his lap. "When the data is secure, I'll extract myself. In the event of trouble, I'll send a distress signal. And Wrecker?"

"Yes, General?"

"Stealth, dear."

"Oooh, I hate that word!"

The castle was big and eerie, the Force around it both severe and lonely. Miria wondered if whatever had turned the former Master Dooku from the light had seeped into the stones themselves. She approached the main gate and quietly lifted her hand to knock.

Force give me strength.

She slammed down the brass knocker a couple times and stood back to wait. An older human woman with gray hair and a maid's uniform opened up. Miria smiled politely. "Hello, ma'am. I'd like to see the Count if he's not too busy."

The woman eyed her. Miria had left her armor on the ship, wearing her cream colored dress and brown cloak. "You're a Jedi."

"Yes, I am. But I'm not here for a fight."

The woman frowned again. "... I'll ask him. Wait here, Jedi…"

"Halcyon. Miria Halcyon."

The maid closed the door and Miria waited patiently. Her hands clenched and unclenched in her wide sleeves, nerves settled in. This was madness and she knew it, going into a Siths home by herself.

Plo Koon would skin her hide.

A few minutes later, the door opened and a stern looking old man in a very classy robe and cloak appeared. "Why is the newest member of the Jedi council on my doorstep?"

"To talk?" She smiled faintly. "Do you have a few minutes?"

He eyed her for a moment, brown eyes thoughtful and surprisingly… welcoming. "Come in then, Master Halcyon. Do you like tea?"

"Yes sir. Very much." She said gently, and he nodded.

"Let's go to my study. I'll have some brought up."

She followed him inside, looking at the grand and stately stone and columns of the front hall. "This is a lovely place…"

"It is my inheritance that I collected when I left the Order." He said quietly. "My homecoming wasn't quite what I'd hoped for."

They went up a set of marble stairs and into a large dark wood paneled study, laden heavily with leather bound books. Real books, which delighted Miria. He sat her down in a wingback chair and settled next to her in another. "So what brings you, a Master, to me?"

It was a half truth, but he'd sense a lie in an instant and she knew it. "I need to understand." She murmured softly. "You were an esteemed Master of the Order, the Grandmasters padawan, and I was only a youngling but I remember no great fight when you left. I can't understand why… but the key to ending this war is here. I know you spoke to Obi-wan Kenobi on Geonosis, you were willing to talk then. Can't you talk to me now? Can't we end this?"

He chuckled quietly as another maid brought in a silver tea service and set it on the low table between them. "So hopeful, aren't you? But that's not the only reason you've come. You question the Order, don't you?"

Miria looked askance at how quickly he read her. "I don't deny I have many questions… I thought I'd understand better when I joined the Council, but…"

"But you see that they don't listen. I remember that moment." He murmured, bringing his teacup to her lips. "And the Republic is even worse."

"What do you mean?" She frowned.

"I once petitioned the council for a restructuring of the Order. To push the Senate to form its own defensive guard, so that the Jedi could serve their actual purpose and aid those in need." He said delicately. "I was denied. Repeatedly."

She frowned, thinking of her own petition to help slaves in the Outer Rim. "We serve the Senate…."

"Politicians who serve their own self interest. They line their pockets while others suffer. And as long as the Jedi are their lapdogs, nothing changes. The trouble starts with Yoda."

"Master Yoda is-" she rushed to defend the grandmaster, but his raised hand cut her off.

"He is complacent, dear girl. He no longer notices the little evils the Republic fosters. He's been around it too long. He is perfectly pleasant and even kind when he directly involves himself, but he doesn't stand up to the wickedness in the Republic and it thrives under his lack of action." He leaned forward. "I see kindness in your eyes. Tell me, what in your opinion is the worst state of the galaxy? What would you address, given the chance?"

"Slavery." She answered automatically, mind on Chisee and Anakin's mother on Tattooine. And the clones, trapped in the war they had no choice but to participate in.

"And the Jedi know of it and do nothing, because it lines the pockets of the rich and powerful. They can't help the slaves. But they can help the slave masters."

Mirias eyes fell to her lap. "Is that why you left?"

"Among other reasons. Family being one of them." He mused. "Do you remember your family?"

"No… I was born on Naboo, but I was too young to remember…"

"Do you ever wonder about them? Who they were? Why they let you go? Who you might have been if they'd raised you?"

Her heart ached with sudden longing. A childhood free of illness, wrapped safely in a mother's arms, free of the shadow of death breathing down her neck. A full life before her, she might have still met Crosshair and… "Once or twice…"

"Every Jedi is a family who decided they could live without them." He murmured. "The Order convinces them they must give their children away, and then they send them to die on fools errands for a Republic who doesn't even permit them voting rights. Does that seem fair to you? I remember you, Miria Halcyon. I know what happened to you on Illum. What would your mother think if she'd known the Jedi would send her daughter to an early grave?"

Miria clasped her hands tightly, knuckles going white. "It was my fault, on Illum. I was careless…"

"You were a child. And you've been so blinded by your belief in the Order that you've let them convince you that the fault lies in a little girl looking for a kyber crystal, not the adults meant to be watching over her."

She closed her eyes. How did his words feel so true? She was Jedi, she'd resisted the dark side as a child, so why did she feel so… wavering? "But the Jedi serve the light…."

"They're meant to. Perhaps some do. But the Order itself is lost. This war will teach that, regrettable as it is. But you…." She startled when he took her wrists. "You are strong in the Force. A worthy apprentice. Join me, dear girl. Your life can have meaning, short as it may be. You want to help others, let this be the way."

Mirias eyes shot wide as she tugged back, shaking her head. "N-no! I'm not a Sith!"

"You hardly need to be." He didn't let go, and she shoved down the rising panic building in her chest.

There was a click in her earpiece. "Data acquired, General. Proceed to the rendezvous point." Tech murmured. Her team, her boys were out. She let that small comfort ground her in the moment.

"Please let me go. I came to talk, not to join you. Please."

The count chuckled quietly and released her wrists. "Remember the offer, Master Halcyon. It will still stand when you leave the Jedi." He turned away. "I trust you can see your own way out."

She looked at his back a long moment. "Thank you for speaking with me…" she murmured before hurrying out the way she'd come.

Miria left the castle, and as soon as the door closed she was running, sprinting like she could outrun the words the Sith had muttered. If she could escape the seed of doubt before it took root, she could still be herself. She could still be a Jedi, she could still serve the light, she could still have faith…

Strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her off her feet and into an armored chest. She got only a brief glimpse of a gray helmet with a sniper's crosshair over the right eye before she was burying her face into his neck and sobbing.

Crosshair stiffened as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Miria, what's wrong?" He murmured, pulling his helmet off and dropping it on the ground carelessly. "Did he hurt you? We'll go back and-"

"No!" She wailed helplessly. "He didn't hurt me, I'm o-okay, just don't go back." Her arms turned to durasteel around him. "Stay. Just st-stay."

He was throughly confused, but swept her legs from under her. "Okay. Okay, I'm here. Let's get you back to the ship." His voice was soft, what she needed, and she snuggled in tightly as her sobbing quieted to whimpers. Tech shrugged and picked up his helmet for him.

They trekked back to where they'd hidden the Marauder, eerily quiet as they all shot worried glances at their inconsolable General. This wasn't like her.

Everyone stayed in the cockpit as Tech got them off Serenno, leaving Crosshair to take care of Miria. He carried her to their bunk and set her down gently, carefully as he knew how. "Hey. Hey, baby girl." He murmured, thumbing the tears off her cheeks. "Look at me. You're okay, right? You're not hurt?"

She shook her head. "He didn't hurt me…."

"Then what's the matter? You're shaking." He frowned sharply. "What did that bastard do?"

"It's not what he did." She shuddered. "It's what he said."

That gave Crosshair pause. He'd watched her laugh at the cruelest digs, ones that played on her every insecurity, without flinching. But this… he'd never seen her cry like this. "What did he say?"

"That the Order is wrong. That we're the problem, we're the reason for the war. That we allow corruption and we steal children and we-"

"He hates the Jedi. Of course he did."

"But he's right, Cross." She whispered.

He pulled her to him, shaking his head. "They can't be like that. You're not like that." He murmured.

"Aren't I? How many younglings that I taught had parents who loved them? Parents who only gave them up because a Jedi like me told them it was for the best?" She snuggled to his chest. "And the slaves in the Outer Rim, like that little girl on Tattooine. If it hadn't been related to the war no one would have helped. They didn't help Anakin's mother. They didn't let me help when I became a knight. They just let it happen. They let all this happen…"

Crosshair was not good at this. Comforting someone was Wrecker's thing. But she needed him, and he was going to have to be enough. "They can't be all bad, cyare." He murmured. "They raised you, and you're good. So whatever they've done or not done, they… have merit. And you're a Master, right? You can make things better before you leave. I know you can. You're… Miria, you're fucking amazing."

She looked up at him tearfully, scrubbing her eyes on the backs of her hands. "I certainly don't feel amazing, Cross. I… he asked me to be his apprentice."

Crosshair made a face. "Like you'd ever join that asshole."

"I thought about it, Cross. I kept thinking about Anakin's mother, and how I got sick… he asked me what my own mother would think if she knew. And… Force, I considered it." She laughed hollowly. "The Council would put me through a bloody tribunal if they knew I ever doubted…"

"You have to choose." Crosshair ran his gloved fingers through her hair. "What kind of person you want to be. Not what kind of Jedi. You don't have to agree with everything they do, and you don't have to join the Sith. But when we were cadets… 99 used to tell us we’d have to decide who we were going to be, with every action. So…who do you want to be?"

She frowned quietly. "I… I don't want to fall to darkness." She whispered. "It's a lonely place. I've been there, on Illum. I want to follow the light. I want to have friends and find joy and… I want you. My guiding star."

He smiled. "Then I'll always be right here, watching your six."

She smiled back, shaky, cradling his face in her hands. "I love you."

Crosshair smiled back, a real one. "C'mere, cyare. Lemme hold you."

She nodded eagerly, desperate for comfort after such a jarring day. He slipped his armor quickly and laid down with her, warm hands running gently over her hip. Smoothing away the ragged places in her bruised and broken spirit. It was almost enough to make her cry again.

She cuddled a little closer, pressing her lips to his neck in search of a particular spot that always made his arms tighten around her. He chuckled. "That what you want, cyare?"

She nodded. "I feel filthy." She whispered quietly. "Like his words cling. I always feel right with you…"

Crosshair propped himself up on one elbow, a slow smirk spreading across his angular features. "Then lemme make you feel better."

His lips pressed to hers, warm and welcome as she let him into her mouth. He kissed her slow, firmly shifting to pin her under his chest while one hand twined into her hair. Miria whimpered softly when the other one pulled her belt open and started tugging her dress apart. It was one of those simple wrap styles, parting under his fingers until they pressed comfortingly against the soft skin of her belly. "So pretty." He murmured. "My girl, so pretty just for me. Gonna give you the galaxy one of these days, you know that?" His mouth moved to her shoulder, sucking marks into the white skin there. "Make you my pretty little wife."

Miria closed her eyes, focusing on the sweet ache. "Your wife…" His. Not the Jedis, with their endless conflicting teachings she found herself more and more lost in. Not the Siths, with the darkness threatening to swallow her alive. Crosshairs.

"Mmhmm. Build you a house somewhere. Have a couple kids, with those eyes of yours." He chuckled when she let out a contented sigh, tugging her breast band down below the inviting swell of her chest. His tongue drew one nipple into his mouth, free hand palming the other side. Finally he pressed a kiss against her tattoo. "Love this. Having my symbol tattooed right over your heart. " He lightly nipped her hipbone on his way down. "Can't wait to see you every morning, first thing. And every night, just like this."

She cooed when he lifted her hips to tug her underwear out of the way. "Cross…"

He just chuckled and hooked her knees over his shoulders, pressing his mouth between her legs. Her first little moan was sweeter than music. "That's it, cyare. Just let me take care of you. Always be there to take care of my girl."

She sighed and gasped as his skillful tongue went to work, drawing her to the brink of shattering. It was good, mind numbing in the surety of his words. He'd always be there to pick her up if she fell. She didn't need to fear mistakes with Crosshair, because he didn't expect perfection. He didn't want it. He wanted her, with all her flaws and broken places. He could push the veneer of a perfect Jedi away and still think the women below it was beautiful.

She stifled a moan in her hands when his fingers breached her core, searching out the right spot to drag her to her release with snipers accuracy. His other hand pulled hers from her face. "Don't hide from me, ner cyare."

"Y-your brothers…"

"Let 'em hear. Who gives a shit if they know I'm making love to the girl of my dreams? If it's a problem, they can die mad about it." He chuckled, hand never stopping it's work. "They know I'm gonna marry you anyway."

She couldn't argue with that and her next soft moan echoed through the recycled ship's air. "Oh, Crosshair…"

"There you go. Come on, gimme a good one and I'll fuck you through this mattress." He purred softly against her thigh before sucking a mark there too.

Miria complied with a high pitched whine, tensing up as everything went blinding and debilitating white in her vision. She was dimly aware of Crosshair murmuring praise and kissing her hip as she came down, processing the words slowly through the din of her panting.

"There you go. That's my girl…"

She curled her hands in his silver hair, tugging him up her trembling body until she could kiss him again. She tasted herself on his tongue.

Crosshair kept his word and wasted no time sliding into her silken heat, shivering when her legs crossed behind his back and locked him into place. He settled his weight on his forearms, kissing her slow and deep with the pace of his hips to match. "I'm right here, cyare. Right where you need me." He mumbled, turning his head to mouth along her bared throat. "Right where I belong. Next to you."

Force, he turned her inside out when he got honest. She held tight to him, where she belonged, as he took his time rearranging her the way he wanted. His hips snapped into hers, the only sounds the strike of skin and their pants mingling together. "How's this, baby girl?" He crooned. "Feel better?"

"Yes." Miria half whimpered.

"Good. Can't- fuck, can't stand to see you cry…" He groaned faintly in her ear. "Can't fucking stand it… your pretty face…"

She shuddered again, looking up with all the effort she could muster to keep her eyes on his. They were warm and bright right now, molten honey and everything she needed in the galaxy to keep it together. "Darling…"

"Keep looking at me. Just like that… wanna see your pretty eyes when you- fuck, when you come for me." He mumbled. "The shit I'd do for you… Maker, I'd do anything for you..."

That did it. The confession, the unabashed love in those amber eyes, the way he hit every place inside her so perfectly all coalesced into an all- consuming wave that swept her off her feet and sent her tumbling, her locked legs driving him impossibly deeper into her when she fell apart and dragged him with her. He painted her insides hot and dropped onto his elbows, shuddering. Her muscles slowly unclenched and she traced nonsense over his back with her nails, holding him to her.

"I love you…" she whispered. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore. But I know I love you so much…"

Crosshair chuckled weakly. "Right now, you're finishing getting railed."

"You know what I mean, Cross."

"Yeah, I know. I love you too." He kissed her forehead, shifting so he could lay beside her and pull the blanket over them. "Go to sleep. We'll sort everything out later. Right now, I've got you."

Miria snuggled into his narrow chest. "And you'll always have me?"

"If I ever say no to that, I've lost my fucking mind." He smiled.

#eventual smut #explict #original character #crosshair #crosshair smut #clone force 99 #caught in the crosshairs

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