#[ travis martinez / itchose. ]

[silencedrage]

@itchose sent 💬 for a starter for Travis

Shauna stood in front of Travis, unimpressed. She wasn't sure what exactly the older boy had said to his brother, but Javi was moping and it made something in her prickle. Maybe she could blame it on hormones, or some kind of weird maternal pregnancy instinct. Either way, she fixed the other teenager with a death glare. “Deal with the consequences of your actions, and then promise to do better." It was harsh, and more pressure than Travis probably deserved out here in hell but it felt illegal to pick on the youngest member of their group.

[werechampions]

He doesn't look up at her as he hears her voice. He's not interested in a lecture, especially one that sounds too similar to one his father had given him many times about how he needed to go easier on Javi, which in turn usually only made it worse for Travis, because listening to him never felt like a real option. Around the others here, he sticks to what he knows, hiding behind his shield because he's too afraid to be vulnerable around them, not when he's so far on the outside of all of them. ❝  What fucking consequences? ❞ He shoots back, glaring in her direction but still refusing to look at her. ❝  He's my brother. He's my responsibility. ❞ And that's both a burden and a gift, because he loves him, he's glad he's still alive despite the circumstances, but how can he be a parent to Javi when he's barely known how to be a brother? Still, he's not letting her know those insecurities. ❝  Let me deal with him the way I know how and mind your fucking business. ❞ He doesn't actually want to be harsh with her, it's just a defense mechanism; he hates to be told he's handling something wrong when he already knows, when he's already worried about it, so he refuses to let himself falter in front of her now. / @itchose (continued from xx)

He's not interested in a lecture and she's not interested in giving one. She's said enough and Javi can take care of the rest if he needs to since he's a kid that needs to grow up. But Travis never knows when to stop pushing back and Shauna knows, she knows she should just let it go. It's not her business, except it kind of is when Javi is coming to her for paper and rummaging through her things. She almost wants to throw that in Travis' face because maybe then it will wipe the sullen look from his face. The irony is that she's not soft, she's not maternal, and any attempt at gentleness is usually a fumbling mess. She's desperate for Travis to take it off her hands before Javi realizes how fucked up she is.

"If you want to act like that, fine, but then you actually have to step the fuck up," she hisses back at him. It's a tempered response, better than yelling at him from across the clearing even if that's exactly what Shauna wants to do. But Javi is better off with Travis and Natalie and Lottie, literally anyone would be better than her, so she sits back and scribbles in her journal so ferociously, it's a miracle the pen hasn't snapped by this point. "Deal with your shit so it doesn't become my business."

[manslaught]

@itchose: i think you did what you had to do.

she knows that. not once has she felt remorse for her father's death, because she knows that he had it coming for years. mikayla doesn't know what the rest of the world is saying about her, but she's sure it's not good, if what some of the inmates have said is any indication of that, but she doesn't care what a world full of strangers think. she cares what the others think, all of the survivors, constantly wondering if they understand it had nothing to do with what they went through, that the bloodlust they'd experience during a hunt hadn't followed her home. she knows nat understands. she thought tai would, too, but the longer she goes without hearing from her, the less sure of herself she becomes. so it's nice to know that even if she doesn't have her, she has travis.

years ago, she never would have imagined that travis fucking martinez would be one of the only visitors she had in prison, because she never paid him any mind, never even bothered to learn his name until the plane crashed, but she hardly questions it now. his brother would have been there for her, something that's crossed her mind several times, but each time, it only makes her feel worse, bile threatening to raise in her throat. she thinks that might be part of the reason travis is here, for javi, because it's what he would have wanted, even if she doesn't deserve it. not because of what she did do to her father, but because of what she didn't do for javi.

“ i did, ” she says quietly, looking down at her hands, at the scars across her knuckles. mikayla knows that some people don't entirely believe that, preferring to believe that what she did to her father was all because of her trauma from what happened out there. but he has to know better, so she doesn't feel the same need to defend herself, to explain herself. and she shouldn't have to, because the story of that night was written all across the bruises on her face in that mugshot, even if some people want to forget about that.

it's difficult to force herself to meet his eyes, but she manages, knowing that she has to look less pathetic. rescue was supposed to mean something good, was supposed to give her the opportunity to become someone better than who she was before the crash, who she had to be after. it wasn't supposed to mean this: that she'd be here, lonelier than she'd ever felt before, consumed by self-doubt and insecurity that hadn't existed months ago. “ i'm glad you're here, ” she allows herself to admit, posture straightening. “ i didn't think you'd come. ”