#[and im too tired to keep my eyes open let alone think of a pretentious tag]

[raindownforme]

Theater Kid

Ted Nivison x reader [she/her used]

It wasn’t odd for me to be left alone in the big open space. Most nights I was there into the late hours when my teachers were too tired to remember I was there. But tonight they’d actually forgotten, so I busied myself by sweeping the giant black stage. The push broom had been left near the side lighting panel, so I chose a few flood lights to turn on to better see the flooring. The lightbulbs hummed to life above me and I went back to take center stage as a starting point. I turned to look towards the house but, as I stared out into the seats, I saw someone standing who hadn’t been there before.

“You turned the fucking floods on.” His voice echoed across the near empty space and I shushed him as quickly as possible. Fucking actors always having to be the loudest.

“Jesus Christ Theodore shut up. Haven’t you ever done this before?”

“No. I don’t stay after school cleaning like a weirdo.”

“Well you’re here. And I’m not a weirdo! It’s a shared space. If anything you should appreciate me.”

I watched as he awkwardly picked up his backpack and walked down the aisles towards me. He stood at the foot of the stage, staring up at me, which wasn’t that much of an angle for him. He was an abnormally tall person, especially for a highschool student. Of course it only added to the strange charismatic spell he held over almost everyone else in our shared department, and I hated it. I hated the way he never talked to me but talked to everyone else. I hated the way he would sit on the desks and the tables in the classroom and the makeup room and on the edge of the stage and when he caught me looking he would give me this wide, crooked smile. I hated how loud his stupid improv club was that he got to lead was because he was the only student good at it. I hated how I spent every day inside the workshop and the prop hallway and the sound booth and the set alley and the lighting booth and he never payed a bit of attention to it. It was everyone else but me. And even knowing how close I’d gotten to being the stage manager, I knew I’d always be one peg under him.

“Did you hear me?”

I blinked myself out of my angry thoughts, trying to catch up with the real world. “I’m sorry?”

“I said you don’t have to call me Theodore. Ted is fine.”

“Oh.” I rolled my shoulders back unsure of what was the appropriate next step. “Well my name is-“

“y/n I know.” He cut me off. I stared at him in confusion, simply having assumed he didn’t know who I was. “We have like five classes together. We’ve done every production together since freshman year. You’re the one in charge when I come to set days. I sit across from you in the makeup room during lunch. And I know you do all your homework at the director’s desk.”

I stared at my feet as I felt my face flush. It felt like I couldn’t make words. It didn’t make sense that this guy I thought was a prick for the last three years knew me? But I knew that I liked him knowing me. And that was the worst part; I’d been fine with thinking he didn’t know me and didn’t want to because it gave me a name to whatever this feeling was. And now I don’t know. I looked back towards him, trying to think of anything to say. “You don’t care about tech.”

“I- what?” I couldn’t tell if he was angry or confused, and I wasn’t sure which was worse. Staring at him again I noticed the strange tint to his face, which seemed to be turning pinker by the second. I could see my reflection in his glasses and I realized how awkward of an angle we were at.

I bent down on my knees to meet his eye level. “You don’t care about tech. You’re the guy who’s a lead character and comes to rehearsal just to fuck around when you’re not needed act all high and mighty when really you never do anything.”

He narrowed his eyes, as if thinking, and then slapped his bag down on the stage near my feet. “Give me a fucking broom.”

We spent the next while peacefully sweeping up the stage. At some point I switched to the nail detector (which was really a long stick with a magnet on the end) and began going around the edges and crevices to try and find anything. We crossed paths a couple times, shoulders brushing together or brooms clinking.

Eventually I had passed him just enough that he stopped me in my tracks. He grasped my forearm gently, but I stared at his hand. I didn’t seem to want him to let go. “Here.” He took an AirPod out of his ear and handed it to me.

“Ooooh fancy actor boy has AirPods.”

“Literally shut up and appreciate me.” I smiled as I walked towards the trash can. I didn’t know what was playing, but it seemed like some indie bullshit I probably would have admitted to liking if it wasn’t coming from Th- Ted.

I sighed as I leaned the broom against the wall. “I think we’re done here. I can put away the broom in the morning if you don’t know where it goes.”

“I got it.” I watched as he took the trash can under one arm and the broom to the designated little outcropping in the workshop.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you in here.”

“Eh.” He shrugged and stood up straight to look down at me better. “Freshman year someone smacked me straight across the face with a roller. Worst acne I’ve ever had.”

“Oh. Ouch. Still on the handle?”

“Nope.”

“Wet or dry?”

“Wet. With paint. Fresh paint.”

“Ooh. What color?”

“Forest green.”

“Euch. Nasty.” I chuckled as I rubbed my hands up and down my arms. It wasn’t uncommon for this part of the school to be the coldest, especially surrounded by walls of exclusively concrete and a single garage door, and the seasons still changing as we neared the end of winter. I felt a shiver run through my spine, and Ted looked at me funny.

“Is it cold in here?”

“For some of us.”

“Here.” Ted shrugged off the heavy bomber jacket he had been wearing and draped it over my shoulders. It was warm on the inside, much warmer than I’d been expecting. It almost fit, but I guess his torso and arms were just slightly larger than mine. I looked back to him to say thank you but instead he was staring at me with this dumb look. He was smiling and his head was tilted slightly, and his face was pink again, but darker this time. I felt my face heat up as we stared at each other.

“We should leave.”

He seemed to snap back to reality. “Right. Yeah no right god it’s- what time?” He flicked his wrist out to move his sleeve in order to see his watch. Of course the pretentious bitch wore a stupid watch. “It’s like 6. I guess it’s eating time.”

I nodded and walked back out towards stage left, Turing off all the lights except for our single ghost light that had to sit center stage. It cast a hazy shadow over everything. I watched Ted walk towards center where the lightbulb stood. He started to reach for his bag but I heard the song change in the AirPod. He made eye contact with me as a slow waltzy song moved through my ear. He extended a hand to me and I tentatively reached for it. His hands felt good in mine. They were soft but worn, I and I could clearly feel the lines that ran through his palms and his fingers.

He took one of my hands in his and his other hand placed itself gently on my waist. “Have you ever waltzed before?” His voice was low and raspy, trying to be as quiet as possible.

I whispered back, “no.” He began to shuffle us around, pulling me left and right and pushing away and pulling me. I felt surrounded by the way he smelled and the way he held me gingerly, like a glass figurine. I stared down at my feet as to not step on him, but he took the hand that was holding mine to gently lift my chin up.

“It’ll be easier if you look up at me. I know you can hear the rhythm.” He began to hum the song as we continued to move. The song began a flourish ending as he threw me out in a twirl, then pulling me back in to his arms. I felt him dip me to the ground as the ending came. I let my self dangle, my head up side down, staring at the ground, then gently lifted my face back upwards. Ted was mere centimeters away from me. I could feel his breathing on my neck.

“Ted. I should-“

“Yeah. No no I know. Yeah.” He lifted me up slowly until I was sure I was flat on the floor. I grabbed my backpack, holding the straps.

“Do you want your jacket-?”

“Keep it. I can get it back tomorrow.”

“Today’s Friday.”

“Right. Monday then.”

I nodded and walked towards the door. I could hear his heavier footsteps behind me, gaining quick due to his longer legs. The door clicked shut behind us, and the cool February air rushed through my skin and hair. I watched Ted take a keychain out from the pocket of his back pack. He looked at me and frowned.

“Did you drive or do you have a ride?”

“Oh yeah. No they’ll uh. They’ll be here in a bit.” I dropped my bag and sat on the curb with it on my lap to try and stay warm. Ted’s jacket was lovely but not lovely enough.

I heard Ted drop his bag and watched as he took a seat next to me. He looked over at me. “What? I’m not gonna leave a pretty girl out alone at 7 at night in the winter. Besides my parents probably think I’m at the game anyways.”

Now that he mentioned it, I could hear the sound of cheering and drum line off in the distance.

Did he call me pretty?

We both waited on the curb for probably another 10 minutes before he started talking again. “There’s no one coming is there?”

“Ted-“

“I never see you leave because you always leave last. After anyone who could possible give you a ride has left. You’re one of those kids.”

“I’m sorry one of those kids?”

“No I didn’t-“ he exhaled and closed his eyes. “You don’t have anyone waiting for you. So you just walk.” We were both quiet for a moment, taking in the cold as it burned your skin. Ted stood up and extended a hand to me. “Get in the car.”

“Im sorry what?”

“Get in my fucking car. I’m not going to leave you to get kidnapped on the way home so you’re coming with me to get food.”

“See now this feels like kidnapping.”

“Oh my GOD get in the car.”

I reluctantly climbed into the passenger seat of his car, looking at the very minimal personalization that had been done: a couple stickers on the back window and a glasses case in the center cup holder. I watched as he reversed out of the parking spot, extending his arm against my seat to better turn around. I did my best not to stare, but I wasn’t sure what else to look at. He stopped before going into drive, asking if I didn’t mind McDonald’s even if there was a long line.

“Sure. It’s not like there’s someone waiting on me.”

He frowned at my response, but nonetheless kept on driving. “Well, there’s also a Dairy Queen, Sherri’s, maybe a Taco Bell-“

“Sherri’s.”

He glanced over at me with a confused look. “Really??”

“Come on, you know sitting in a dirty trashy restaurant at night is the total teenage coming of age moment.”

“Yeah but a Sherri’s? The food isn’t even good enough to justify.”

“You only say that because you haven’t tried those loaded hash browns.” I jokingly placed a hand on his shoulder, but I felt him tense at the contact. I retracted my hand and he sighed, moving to turn on his right blinker.

Ted swiveled his head to check for passing cars, but he grinned at me as we made less than a second of eye contact. I turned my head away towards the window next to me, trying to swallow whatever heat was rising towards my cheeks. I watched us pass cars and headlights as we approached the poorly lit parking lot. I jolted as ted’s plastic bumper lightly scraped the ground. He mumbled something under his breath as he pulled into a spot.

“I hate this stupid lot. Always scratch something coming in.” He unbuckled his seat belt and got out quicker than I expected. I went to unbuckle and get out but as I reached for the door handle, Ted opened it for me from the outside.

“Oh.” I stared at him for a second and he grinned at me.

“I know. Such a gentleman. Now get out of the car before I break your heart.” He winked at me, obviously joking, but I still felt my heart drop out of my chest.

“HA.” I pushed him away from me gently, but my fingers burnt at the touch.

I heard Ted shut the door behind me as I walked into the restaurant. There was really no one inside other than a group of kids tucked away in a booth in a far corner. I watched as the hostess approached me, saying I could sit in any table I wanted. I heard Ted walk in behind me and I turned to look at him, but he was staring at the group of kids in the corner.

He sighed and closed his eyes. “Oh shit-“

“HEY. TED!” One of the kids started yelling at him from the booth. The other boys laughed at him as the maybe two or three other girls giggled. I looked between Ted and the boy, who seemed incredibly belligerent or under some sort of influence. He waved his arms in a wide span over his head, as if telling Ted where he was. “NIVISON! COME SIT OVER HERE! COME ON FUCK THE LOSER! GET OVER HERE.”

Ted looked at me, making a prolonged eye contact, then back to the kid. “No thanks! I’ll see you later.”

He linked arms with me and rushed over to the other side of the restaurant, tucking us into a small booth by the window. He said almost nothing, staring just out at the bushes. A waiter came by, dropping off two thick plastic menus.

“Anything to drink?”

Ted mumbled, but I was sure the waiter wasn’t able to hear. “Water for him please. And how much is a vanilla milkshake?”

“$2.50 for a small.”

“A small vanilla milkshake then. Please.” I smiled gently at him, and the waiter seemed to straighten himself a bit, more self assured than he had been two minutes ago.

“Of course. Right away.”

The waiter walked away and Ted stayed quiet. I slid my hand across the table towards him. “Theodore-“

“I’m not friends with Jake. I mean I was when we were younger.” He was looking me now. Well not exactly me, but my extended hand at least. “He joined the football team and some other sorts and we just stopped hanging out because of time. And he does still wear the lettermen’s jacket but....” he dropped his voice and leaned in, I copied and leaned closer to him. “He got cut from the team because he would show up drunk so now he goes to games just to drink under the bleachers and pick up cheerleaders from the other schools. He tells anyone who asks that he got a brain injury and can’t legally practice but still goes for support.”

“Oh my god.” I blinked, my voice still at a whisper. “That’s terrible.”

Ted nodded eyes wide. He looked over my shoulder, tapped my hand, and then sat up. I sat up too, assuming it was the waiter, but stared at how close his hand was to mine.

“Okayyyyy one ice water and one vanilla milkshake.” I moved my line of vision towards the drink set in front of me. It had the standard glass cup and whipped cream topping, but on top were red and pink heart-shaped sprinkles. I stared at it, and Ted must of noticed it as he took my hand firmly in his, lacing our fingers together on top of the table. The waiter stared at it.

“Hey I think we’re ready to order if you don’t mind.” Ted’s voice was louder than I expected as it took command of our whole corner of the restaurant.

“Uh yeah. What can I get you two?”

“You said you wanted the loaded hash browns, right babe?” He turned to me smiling, but I had no idea what he was thinking.

“Y-Yeah. Those are the ones.”

He gave me a giant goofy smile, and turned back to the waiter. “We’ll have two orders of that please. And an extra straw for this milkshake if you don’t mind?”

“Uh yeah. Coming right up.”

The waiter walked away and Ted sighed, relaxing his grip on my hand but not quite releasing it. “Fucking creep.”

“What?”

He looked back at me, confused. “You didn’t notice he was flirting with you? He put heart shaped sprinkles on your milkshakes.”

“I guess he’s not that good at it then.”

We sat in silence as I drank the thick vanilla shake. Ted cleared his throat and looked towards me. Our hands were still together.

“Well what can we talk about together?”

“I don’t know, theater kid shit?”

“Alright.” He though for a second. “Fine. Movie musicals.”

“Oh. Oh my god I hate the greatest showman.”

“No you don’t!”

“Yes I do! PT Barnum had no excuse to be an asshole and the whole thing is just him being an asshole to his family who somehow accepts him again.”

“I think if you have a shitty life you could have the right to be an asshole, and he wasn’t that bad! He loved his wife, and the music is good!”

“Okay some, some of the songs are good, and the whole kiss with the red head was totally not his fault. But just cause you have a shit home life doesn’t mean you can be an ass. I would think it would make you want to be nicer so other people don’t experience the same treatment, you know?”

Ted pauses, seeming to consider, then nods and moves to take a drink from his water.

We spent the next while talking about random topics: stories, tv shows, movies, books, anything. At some point the waiter came back and set the food down without a word. Ted released his hand from mine to grab his fork, and I stared at the place his fingers had been. My hand felt cold and unfamiliar as I set it closer to my plate. I ate slowly, suddenly feeling uncomfortable, but Ted ate quicker than I thought he could.

“You were right these are delicious.”

“I told you, only good thing they have.”

I was probably close to finishing when the waiter came and slapped the receipt on the table. “We close in ten.”

As he walked away Ted chuckled. “It’s Sherri’s. They’re open 24 hours?”

I shook my head, smiling, as I dug around for some cash. I grimaced at the amount I had, realizing I would have barely two dollars left. I looked up, prepared to go broke, but Ted had already gotten up with cash in hand.

I reached out and grabbed on to his t-shirt as he walked towards the register. “Theodore, wait-“

“If I get to be your fake boyfriend I can pay for our fake date.” He smiled and continued walking. I rustled through all the small bills and coins I had. I was still holding them in my hands when he came back and sat down across from me.

“Y/N, i told you-“

“But, tip-“

“I got it. Finish your food.”

We sat in silence for a little longer, and as soon as I was done he stood up, shouldering the backpack I’d brought in with me. He stood next to me, holding out his arm towards me. I giggled as we linked arms and walked to the door. I made eye contact with the creepy waiter and watched as Ted flipped the guy off.

The air was cold as we exited the building. I probably would have shivered again if not for Ted’s jacket still around me. I used my free hand to pull it closed in front of me. We were silent getting into his car, but as he turned his key over to start the engine he looked to me and smiled.

“Thank you for an amazing fake first date.”

I laughed and felt a small heat rise to my cheeks. “You make an excellent fake boyfriend.”

He turned up the music as we pulled out of the parking lot. I could hear him scrape his bumper again, but he didn’t say anything about it this time. “So, how do I take you home?”

“Oh. You don’t have to! I can just take the bus-“

“y/n. It’s late and it’s dark and it’s cold. Please let me take you home.” We were stopped at a red light, and we paused, staring just at each other. Ted’s face was bright red, and I’m sure mine was too. But even when the light turned green, his face was still red, and I’m sure mine still was.

A car behind us held a sustained honk, and Ted jolted out of his stupor and peeled out across the intersection. Of course Ted wasn’t a bad driver. He was a highschool driver, so he drove to look cool half the time. Meaning right now he was driving with one hand at the top of the wheel and the other arm rested against on top of the center console. I made the judgement call to reach over and take his free hand in mine. I did so loosely, allowing him to let go if he wanted to, but if anything he laced his fingers with mine tighter. I looked down at our hands, smiling, then back towards Ted’s face. He was smiling widely, but when he saw me looking he made a stupid attempt of trying to play it off and act like he wasn’t smiling, but I started laughing so he eventually fell into laughter with me. We didn’t talk much on the way to my house other than me giving directions every now and then. He didn’t let go of my hand the whole time, except when he had to put the car in park.

I stared out his window towards the front of my dark building. I knew no one was home, and it was probably pretty cold inside since I usually forget to turn on the heater before leaving for school.

“I guess this is me.” He watched me throw my bag over my shoulder as I stepped out of the car. “Thank you Theodore. For everything.”

“Ted.”

“What?”

“You can call me Ted.”

I smiled at him. “Right. Thank you. Ted.”

I shut his car door and walked up my sidewalk, but I turned when I heard another car door shutting behind me.

“y/n, wait.” Ted was walking towards me, hands shoved in his pockets as the giant man toward over me. “I, uh, I really enjoyed being your fake boyfriend tonight.”

“I enjoyed it too-“

“And I enjoyed sweeping the stage with you. And holding your hand. And dancing with you. And driving you home. And arguing over food. And laughing. And sharing music. And pretty much everything. And I don’t want it to be because I’m your fake boyfriend you happened to be on a fake date with because we happened to be in the same place at the same time.” He sucked in a breath as he took my hand gently. He stared at our fingers and palms pressed together. “I want to do all that stuff because I’m your real boyfriend. I want to dance with you and take you on dates to shitty diners and act all jealous because it’s real.”

I could feel my face burning. “You were jealous?”

He laughed a little bit. “Oh my God, yes, I was jealous, he was flirting!!” I laughed, gripping his hand a little harder, then pulling it downwards. “Ouch! What the-“

I placed a kiss on his cheek, and I watched him short circuit as his whole face turned red. “Theodore, I would like to let you know, I am free tomorrow night for a date if that’s what your asking.”

“OH. Okay! Yeah is 7 okay?”

“7 is perfect.”

“Yes! Yes yes!” He pulled me in for a hug and kissed the top of my head. “Oh my god! Okay. Tomorrow, 7!”

I laughed, still trapped in his arms. “I expect dancing.”

“Oh absolutely.” He pushed me back a bit, smiling as he stared at me. “I have to go home. I have to get ready!”

“For a date in 24 hours?”

“Yes! I have plans to make!” He kissed me on the forehead again and ran back to the car. Hand on the handle, he looked back at me, smiling. “I can’t wait.”

[overheardatthecontinental]

Kinktober Day 1: Monster Fucking

I’m so sorry y’all

She had always been told not to be afraid. There was no moving shadow in her closet and there was no monster under her bed. Monsters weren’t real. She was safe. Nothing was going to get her.

But Helen knew they were wrong. 

She wasn’t afraid of him, not anymore. When she was very young, the sight of him or his shadow would make her heart race with anxiety and fear. But he never hurt her. On one occasion, she had tried to jump from her bed to run and had fallen and scraped her knee. The boogeyman had picked her back up and placed her in the bed and tucked her in.

When she was nine, she learned to stop talking about him. She had brought him up at dinner one time too many and her parents decided she was too old to still see monsters under the bed and in her closet. They sent her to a shrink who told her that the boogeyman was just a manifestation of her fears.

Helen didn’t like the psychiatrist. He was very sure of himself and very certain there were no such things as monsters.

But she knew better. 

She went home and went to bed, and sure enough, the boogeyman was there, standing in the doorway to her closet.

“Goodnight.” She told him softly.

The boogeyman was real. And, for whatever reason, he was stalking her.

And it didn’t matter where she went. She would spend the night with her grandparents and the boogeyman would follow, standing in the corner behind the door.

When she went away to summer camp, he would watch over her as she slept.

When she was thirteen and her parents divorced, he would follow her from house to house.

He became a more permanent fixture in her life than either of her parents.

Friends would come and go but the boogeyman was there to stay.

…

Things were fine, Helen thought. The boogeyman was real and he followed her but he was harmless. Like a benign tumor. Maybe he wasn’t the most pleasant thing in the world but she didn’t mind his presence.

Until she was sixteen.

Steven Richter had driven her home from school.

No one was home and she had invited him inside. One thing had led to another and studying had turned into Steven kissing her on her bed.

He was handsy and his tongue didn’t seem to know what it was doing but it was her first kiss and so she didn’t mind.

And then, in an instant, Steven was ripped off of her and thrown across the room.

He couldn’t see the dark shadow that stood in front of her, hands clenched in anger and fuming.

Steven had run.

She didn’t blame him.

“What are you doing?” She had screamed at the dark figure when they were alone, “We were just kissing!”

She hadn’t expected a reply and she was not met with one but, for the first time, she thought she could hear breathing coming from her boogeyman.

And Helen didn’t bring home a boy again.

…

She hadn’t known what to expect when she had gone away to college. She had asked him, late one night, just days before she was set to fly out to New York.

“Are you going to follow me all the way across the country?”

The boogeyman hadn’t answered. He hadn’t even moved from his spot, standing vigil over her room. 

The first day of orientation was a blur and she didn’t know what to expect. The entire day, it felt as if her heart was still in her chest, waiting and anticipating what would happen when she retired

And when she reached her room that night, she almost sighed in relief to see the boogeyman standing next to her new bed.

She smiled at him but said nothing. Her new roommate didn’t need to know that she saw things no one else did.

Helen climbed into bed and fell asleep knowing that she was safe.

…

His name was James and he was a junior. A pre-med student who read Dumas and Hugo. Yes, he was a bit pretentious, but he was nice enough. He asked her to come back to his apartment to listen to his vinyl collection and she had accepted.

She was an adult now and had only kissed one boy. Barely. It hadn’t taken long for the boogeyman to throw him from her.

But this wasn’t her apartment.

It wasn’t even James’ bedroom. It was a common room and his roommates were out as the vinyl played softly and they spoke of literature.

And Helen felt a hand on her shoulder. Strange, since she could see one of James’ hands in his lap, the other draped over the couch.

But sure enough, there was a weight trailing across her shoulder and gently caressing her neck.

He was there.

The boogeyman was in the room with them.

His hand curled around her throat, not hard enough to hurt her. He wouldn’t hurt her. But it was a warning.

If that boy touches you, I’ll kill him.

And Helen excused herself, feigning a headache and mourning the fact that her body ached to be touched. By someone. Anyone. Even a pretentious med student with atrocious taste in music.

She went home and locked the door, curling up on her bed.

Her roommate wasn’t home and so she spoke, “You can’t just hurt any boy who touches me.” 

And, of course, he doesn’t reply. It pisses her off. How dare he? How dare he interfere with her love life when he doesn’t even bother to speak to her. To communicate with her other than the odd comforting touch every few months or years.

A tear slips from her cheek and she feels a weight pressing against her back, wrapping itself around her. The tear is wiped away and Helen leans back into the boogeyman.

“You can’t just keep me forever.” She whispers and the arms around her tighten.

Helen swallows.

Of course, that’s what he intends.

…

Helen throws herself into her studies. She isn't sure what else to do because relationships are off the table so long as the boogeyman is watching her.

Even friends are kind of hard because the boogeyman is such a big part of her life and she can't even mention him.

In her senior year, her roommate had friends over and Helen found herself dragged into a game of never have I ever.

And, of course, it was came up. She thought about lying but after half a dozen rounds, Helen still had all her fingers up.

"What, are you a virgin?"

And what could she say?

Sorry, I'm in a long term relationship with thr monster under my bed? He's super possessive and has no problem hurting guys I'm interested in?

Its not like she can just explain to others why she doesn't even go on dates.

So she admits to it and puts up with the teasing and, when she goes to bed, tears in her eyes, he is there. She feels the bed dip and he strokes her hair until she falls asleep.

…

She gets a small apartment after college. It has one bedroom and it smells a bit like mildew but its cheap and its hers and she doesn't have to worry about anyone hearing her talk to the monster that follows her around 

He likes the space, she thinks. And she sets a chair up for him next to the bed and idly wonders if she's losing her mind. Is this encouraging him?

But she leaves it and when she wakes up at 2am, thr boogeyman is sitting and watching her.

In the morning, her coffee is prepared in a to go mug that she most certainly hadn't set out.

And just like that, something has changed. The boogeyman is her… friend.

…

Seasons change but the boogeyman doesn't. He still looks the same as he always has. Like a dark shadow that comes and goes corporeally. Sometimes there's a face and sometimes there's a shadowy blur. She decides that she likes his face.

It has high cheekbones and a dark beard. Its lips look soft and, sometimes, she its eyes look kind.

Deprived of touch and attention, she closes her eyes and imagines that face while she showers.

Its… nice but lacking.

At work, a nice man asks her to dinner and she declines, only to go home and have dinner on thr couch with the boogeyman next to her.

Helen tries not to think how much power she has given to her personal monster.

…

She turns twenty-six and something in her breaks. Twenty-six years old and she remains a virgin. Twenty-six and she has only had one sloppy kiss.

And it strikes her that it has been ten years since anyone has kissed her.

And it isn't fair.

She doesn't go home after work. She goes to a bar and drinks until the pain in her heart has dulled.

When a stranger propositions her, she doesn't have the mental capacity to remember what her monster is capable of and she takes him home.

The door to her apartment closes and he pushes her into it and presses his thin lips to hers.

She opens her mouth to deepen the kiss but he is ripped away. Helen opens her eyes in time to see red flash in her monsters eyes as the stranger slides across the floor and into the wall.

"Are you serious?" She screams at the monster. 

The stranger staggers to his feet, looking where she does but seeing nothing.

"You're fucking crazy bitch!"

And she shouldn't have said that because her monster flashes with anger yet again and charges at the stranger. He is lifted off the ground by the throat and held up to the wall.

The stranger grips at his throat but he cannot seem to breach thr touch of her monster.

"Put him down!" She shouts at him. "Fuck! Just let him go!"

The boogeyman looks back at her, making eye contact before releasing the stranger to crumple on her floor.

"Run." She tells him and he wastes no time, staggering to thr door and slamming it behind him. 

When the door has closed she looks back at the boogeyman. "Fuck you! I don't belong to you!"

And, of course, he says nothing. Which only adds to her anger.

"Im twenty-six years old and I am tired of never having been really kissed or fucked by anything other than my own hand! So if I go out to get fucked, that is my goddamned right!"

She doesn't seem him move so much as she sees a blur of darkness and she feels her back hit the wall.

A hand is around her throat but this is not like what she has just seen. He is not hurting her, just pinning her in place.

The darkness seems to fade and she sees the outline of his face. Sharp and dark and angry.

"No one touches what's mine." He growls and the voice is deep and gravelly and it makes every hair stand on end.

Her mouth opens in shock and a tongue forces its way in. It is strong  and thick and she nearly chokes as he claims her mouth 

Large hands grope at her flesh, grabbing at her hips, her waist. There is no mercy in his grip or in his touch.

She is lifted against the wall, opposite from where the stranger had hung minutes before. Helen gasps and the boogeyman steps into her space. Her arms wrap around him, as if she’s afraid he’ll drop her.

His dark lips form a smile and his head tilts to the side in curious wonder.

“You want to be fucked, Helen?”

Her breath stutters and a hand pushes her skirt up her thigh.

She looks between them and, sure enough, her monster looks more human than usual.  He is still half-shadow, but his anatomy resembles a human even if his skin feels… different. Thicker and a little leathery but soft.

Her skirt is around her hips and he rips the underwear off her body. Her arms tighten around him involuntarily at the shock.

There’s a sound from her monster, almost like a laugh, and his mouth descends on her neck. His teeth are sharp and they graze her skin so rough that she wonders if she’ll bleed.

But it doesn’t feel bad.

She looks at him and his eyes flash from black to red and back again. His hand moves and she looks down between them. A long, thick cock hangs between his thighs and… fuck, are they supposed to be that big?

But thoughts disappear from her head as his palm rests on her clit and his thick fingers tease her opening.

Helen gasps at the contact and John seizes the opportunity to push a finger fully inside her.

She cries out. It’s only a finger but it feels so good. It curls inside her and she leans into the wall, arching her back, as if she can get more of him into her.

“More!” She begs and tries to bounce on his finger.

The bogeyman growls and another finger breaches her core, stretching her. Helen keens at the contact. It’s a tight fit with both his thick fingers but she grinds down onto him while his thumb runs circles around her clit.

And fuck, she feels herself growing wetter, she feels herself getting hotter, and Jesus Christ. Has this been an option all this time? To have the boogeyman rocking up against her, inside her? 

Why the fuck hadn’t he?

Bastard.

Her arms rescind from around him and she grabs his face, bringing it to hers and she kisses him again. Fuck.

Why does a monster taste so damn good?

How is the boogeyman the best kisser she has ever had?

Probably because he wouldn’t let anyone else touch her.

But fuck…

Maybe she didn’t want anyone else to touch her if her monster kept rubbing her clit like that.

She licks his mouth, sucks on that thick tongue. She wonders what it would feel like between her thighs. Later.

If her monster had proven anything, it was that he wasn’t going anywhere.

She reaches down between them and wraps her hand around his cock, without looking away from his face. His eyes flash red again as she touches the appendage and she licks her lips. Her hand runs his length and back down.

He is hot in her hand and it almost seems to pulse.

The boogeyman bares his teeth at her and, fuck, that’s hot.

Helen feels her toes curl and, god, he speeds up his fingers. They thrust inside her quickly, making her moan. Her hand tightens around his length and her monster makes a sound like a purr.

She wants him.

Helen angles his cock up and the boogeyman moves his fingers, watching her carefully.

She slides the tip up her slit, coating him in the juices, before positioning him at her entrance.

Her monster leans forward and fuck. Fuck. 

His thick cock slowly slides into her, inch by inch. And it hurts and it’s glorious and she has never felt so full in all her life. A sound escapes her throat and she’s not even sure what it is but she knows that the boogeyman feels incredible.

Helen’s arms slip back around him as he gently thrusts into her. 

“Fuck!” She moans and the boogeyman quickens his pace, growling again as he pushes himself deep inside of his woman. His. She has been his for years, even if she hasn’t admitted it.

He chose her.

He stayed with her.

No one got to touch her.

No one but him.

The boogeyman keeps his hips moving, fucking his sweet girl. Listening to the moans and the keens that stem from those sweet, plump lips.

Helen squeezes around him and he pushes her harder into the wall. Her soft, little body is rocked between it and him. 

Helen swears again, pressing her head into the crook of his neck as he continues to abuse her little body. 

He thrusts so hard she wonders if she might break, still she begs him for more.

"Harder! Fuck!"

The sounds her monster makes are not human but she can't bring herself to care as he fucks her harder and faster and pleasure builds within her until she can barely breathe.

Helen screams as her orgasm rushes her, hitting her like a freight train. And still, the boogeyman keeps going. Still pumping inside her.

He grabs her hair, suddenly, and yanks her head to the side exposing her neck.

She whimpers in pleasure before it turns to a scream as he bites into her neck.

The world fades after that.

…

He doesn't sleep but, after that night, he spends every night in her bed. She sleeps curled up to him and he holds her through the night. 

Her life slips into an easy routine. She wakes up and her monster makes her coffee. Then she goes to work and counts down the hours until she can go home. 

She eats dinner and then spends her nights alternating between Snuggling with the boogeyman on the couch and letting him fuck her into the mattress until she passes out.

When strangers ask her out, she tells them she is sorry, but she's taken.

It slips out one day, when she's being pressured at work but a man who doesn't believe her when she says she had a boyfriend.

"Well what's his name?"

"John."

Its the first thing she thinks and, when she tells him about it, he doesn't seem to mind. He especially doesn't mind when she cries out his new name while writhing under him.

People come and go.

But her boogeyman is there to stay.

He is no longer the monster under her bed; but in it.

[feelsgood-anon]

Eros - Bar AU [Season 2] Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: THIS PIECE IS A MYSTIC MESSENGER AU.  IT IS HEAVILY INSPIRED BY THE AMERICAN SITCOM CHEERS, A SHOW CENTERED AROUND A BOSTON BAR CALLED CHEERS AND IT’S REGULARS.  EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TRIED TO KEEP AS MUCH OF CANON PERSONALITIES WITH ALL THE MYSTIC MESSENGER CHARACTERS JUST REMEMBER THAT IT IS AN AU AND A FEW THINGS MAY BE DIFFERENT THAN IN GAME OR YOUR HEADCANONS. THIS HAS BEEN FUN TO PLAN AND I HOPE YOU FIND A BIT OF JOY READING IT!  

PG13+ FOR SWEARIN’ AND BOOZIN’.

[Season 1]

[Season 2] | Prologue | Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5p1 |

The typical busy Friday night rolled on at Eros. Both Zen and Red had steadily kept the drink orders coming as Cannon and Sunny kept a good pace to make the patrons happy.

Joe squirmed in her seat as she intermittently checked her watch. Her fingers fidgeted along her drink and when she almost knocked it off the counter, Zen turned to address her, “Hey, Joe. Everything alright? You’ve been nervous since you got here. You aren’t in any trouble, are you? Who do I need to beat up?”

“No no, it’s nothing like that! I’m just waiting for someone and I’m hoping they find the place okay,” Joe replied with a weak smile, “Thanks for your concern though.”

“No problem! I can’t have my favorite customer feeling down!” Zen said, wiping up the bit of mess that she made with her constant turning of her beer.

Jingle~!

“Welcome to Eros! What can we get you tonight?” Zen called out to the woman that entered, flashing her his dazzling smile. Her face drained of color as she saw him, stopping in her tracks as she stared, “Oh wow, she wasn’t kidding. You are Zen! I can’t believe it!”

Upon hearing the voice, Joe turned quickly in the barstool to grin towards the woman, “Hey! You made it! Wait, you really thought I’d lie? I told you I knew him!” She threw her arms around the other and hugged her tightly, “Did you find the place okay? I know you don’t come to this part of town often.”

The woman kissed Joe on the cheek, returning the hug, “No problems with my GPS! It’s a really nice place though,” She pulled Joe’s hair to the side to whisper in her ear, “Can I really meet him?”

Joe laughed and pulled the female towards the bar, waving a hand towards Zen, “Hey! Got a minute? I want to introduce you to someone.”

Zen drummed his fingertips along Red’s shoulder to indicate he needed him to watch the bar for a moment, and stepped towards the two, “For you, my dearest Joe, I have all the time in the world! What’s up?”

“Babe, this is Zen! Zen this is my girlfriend!” Joe beamed as she introduced them, clearly proud to have her significant other next to her. Zen squinted towards the unknown woman, the cogwheels in his mind spinning rapidly. His eyes lit up, holding his hand out for a shake, “It’s an honor to meet you, Mocha! I’m glad you could make it out to our little hideaway. Please, allow me to get you something to drink, on the house!”

Mocha blushed as she took his hand, “O-oh, it’s very nice to meet you too. I am a big fan of your work! But my name is-”

“Nuh uh~!” He chided playfully, “When you are at Eros, you are Mocha!” He reached under to pull a mug, pouring beer into it, “You’ll grow to love the name.” Passing the drink to her, he leaned into the counter, “Your girlfriend here? We call her Joe.”

Joe chuckled a bit and placed her arm around Mocha, sitting her down on one of the barstools, “It’s his thing. I find it rather endearing!”

Mocha nodded, still slightly dazed that she had Zen standing right in front of her, “Ah, you can call me whatever you’d like! I’m sorry, I’m just a bit star-stuck. You know, the first thing Joe and I bonded over was our love for your musicals! Now that I think about it, it's kind of romantic to meet you with her next to me.”

Zen grinned even wider, pushing the mug towards her once more, “You’re too sweet! It always warms my heart to know that people enjoyed my work in the past. It’s been awhile since someone genuinely complimented my talent. I can see why you two get along so well.”

“Oh, no thank you! I don’t drink alcohol,” Mocha moved the beer in front of Joe, “A glass of water would be nice, though.”

“Mmmm, of course! I can understand that. I don’t know if you heard, but I’ve been sober for a few months now. I assure you, our water is the best in town!” Zen chimed as he fixed up a glass, “Still on the house, yah know.”

Cannon, who had walked up during their conversation, scoffed at Zen’s comments, “Nice one, bro. I see how you pick up all the chicks.”

Zen rolled his eyes as he turned to look towards the waiter, “What is your deal? I’m just trying to be inviting to our delightful guest! It wouldn’t kill you to be a bit nicer once in awhile!”

“You’re not being nice, you’re flirting! And it’s disgusting! I would have thought you’d learn after not only losing the supposed woman you love once, but twice! Get over yourself, you aren’t that great!” Cannon practically screamed, his seething words echoing throughout the bar.

The tightening in Zen’s chest stole his breath away from him, and with a swift movement he roughly grabbed Cannon’s arm to pull him towards the office. Sunny, of course, heard the proclamation and immediately followed. She was stopped when Zen glared at her, “Not now, Sunny.” Amidst her protests he slammed the door, throwing Cannon onto the couch, “Listen here. I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately but it’s really starting to piss me off. I can let it slide if you are having issues with your medications again but I need you to quit starting shit in front of the customers! If you have a problem with me or anyone else I need you to pull me aside and talk to me like a decent human being!”

“Have you been drinking again? You only rage when you’re drunk. What a shame, Sunny was really hopeful about you.” Cannon sneered, crossing his arms as he looked Zen straight in the eye.

“I’m completely sober!” Zen roared, kicking over the small trashcan next to his desk, “Damn it, Cannon, what’s going on? There is only so much I can take, you know. Your words...they hurt.” His body slumped in defeat, dragging himself to his chair, flopping into it, “I know you, I’ve worked with you for so long. You say stupid things all the time. I also know when you mean to make it sting. And today, it cut deep. Call me a sissy, call me a pansy. I don’t care. Do you not understand that you go a bit too far sometimes?”

Cannon slowly dropped his arms from his chest and for the first time was at a loss for words. He knew what he said to people had the potential to hurt their feelings but he didn’t think anyone would ever take him seriously. A knot in his stomach began to form as the rise of guilt began to eat away at him. As much as him and Zen bickered, as much as they butt heads - Zen was always understanding and accommodating. Knowing that he had truly emotionally wounded him made Cannon feel like an asshole, “I-Im sorry-”

“Yeah, you’re always sorry. Sometimes an apology comes too late. I know that from experience.” Zen interrupted, his fingertips massaging his temples, “Words start losing meaning when the actions continue. Don’t you get tired of apologizing? When will you get to the point where you don’t have to? I’m too riled up right now, just go. Your tables are probably wondering where you are.”

“I’m...sorry…I really am…” Cannon whispered, getting up to walk to the door. As soon as he opened it, Sunny went tumbling to the ground. He frowned down at her, knowing she probably had her ear plastered to the door to try to hear what was going on. He silently stepped over her and made his way back towards the bar.

Zen raised a brow as he saw the girl, “I’m not really in the mood, Sunny. Could you please leave me alone for a bit?”

She scrambled to get to her feet, dusting off her apron, “I think you should talk about what you are feeling right now. If he really did hurt your feelings you can’t hold it in!”

He shook his head, “I get what you are saying, but I just want some time to think about things and cool off. I promise to call for you if I need to work something out. So please? Just give me some time.”

Sunny puffed her cheeks out. She really wanted to press the issues further but as she had promised him to try to give him space when he requested, she just nodded and closed the door behind her. Looking around, she narrowed her gaze towards Cannon, stomping over to him, “Are you happy with yourself? That was such an inappropriate thing to say! How dare you attack him like that? I expect better from you. He’s been through so much and you can’t even give him the courtesy of keeping your comments to yourself! You’ve really disappointed me today.” Using a finger to poke at his chest, she shoved him back a bit before walking away.

Cannon chewed at the inside of his cheek. That uncomfortable feeling in his stomach only got worse with her lecture. Not only was Zen disappointed but now Sunny? With a lengthy sigh, he continued to tend to his tables.

Red tip-toed over to Sunny who had busied herself cleaning some dishes, “Hey, everything okay?”

“If you must know, Red, your brother is being a really big brat tonight. Maybe you should talk to him so he doesn’t continue to destroy people’s lives.” Sunny pretentiously answered, “Someone needs to control him.”

Red looked over at his brother who seemed quieter than normal as he went around the bar, “Well...whatever you said must have done something to him. He doesn’t seem himself right now.”

Sunny turned around and looked toward Cannon as well, feeling slightly bad that she may have been too harsh. It was odd the way he was acting. Perhaps she was too harsh on him? “I’ll talk to him once things calm down. I can’t get angry, I need to stay objective!”

They both jumped when Zen emerged from the office, taking in a deep breath before he walked behind the bar once more. He pat Sunny on the head and went back towards Joe and Mocha, “Sorry for that, ladies. That’s not a usual occurrence, Joe can attest to that.”

Joe laughed a bit as she shrugged, “Things can get pretty interesting around here. If I may say, your therapy must be going well! I’m happy to see that you can recover and become calm in a timely manner. We are all proud of you.”

Zen blushed softly, looking down at his hands, “Ah, thanks doll. It really has been helping a lot. I just wish I wouldn’t blow a gasket still.”

“Hey, you shouldn’t be expected to just roll over and take everything people say! You’re allowed to get mad, especially if someone says something really rude!” Mocha piped in, “But I agree with Joe. From the stories she’s told me, you’ve improved a lot to move the altercation to a private area!”

He shifted his glance upwards to her, cracking a smile, “Thanks, Mocha. I see why Joe likes you. I hope you come by here more often, even if you don’t drink. I’ll make sure to add more non-alcoholic drinks to the menu. I can’t have sweet customers like you only drinking water.”

Joe leaned over and kissed Mocha’s temple, “She’s pretty great, yeah? I’m glad she came by to meet you. I spend a good amount of time here, I wanted to share the love.”

Mocha beamed proudly, “I’m glad I came too! I won’t lie and say I wasn’t worried about this place being a seedy joint, but I was pleasantly surprised. And I got to meet the wonderful Zen! I’ll definitely come when I can.”

Before Zen could respond to the barrage of compliments that were thrown at him, Cannon sneaked by him and tapped him on the shoulder, “Hey, boss? Can we talk?” The waiter asked softly. Zen would normally shrug him off but hearing the unusual tone from his employee, he nodded and gently pushed him out from around the bar, “Sure, let’s go to the back near the pool tables.”

The room was empty, Cannon thankful that he wouldn’t have to be in this situation around anyone else. Zen leaned against a table, blowing upwards to push the bangs out of his eyes, “What’s up?”

Cannon let in a sharp breath as he started to pace. He knew what he wanted to say, but didn’t know how to say it. The right thing to do would be to just outright apologize but he did consider that it would seem disingenuous at this point. How was he suppose to tell him how bad he really felt for what he said? He wasn’t used to going back on his words but deep down inside, he was aware of what had to be done. Letting out his breath in one slow exhale, he stepped forward and threw his arms around Zen, hugging him tightly.

Zen’s body stiffened so quickly, not knowing how to react. The first thought that ran through his head was that Cannon would try to body slam him into the table but when there was no effort to inflict harm, he was left with even more confusion. “What are you doing?” He squeaked, now trying to wiggle out of Cannon’s grasp.

“You want me to stop apologizing, but I need you to know that I know I was wrong. I did say all of those things just to piss you off and I acknowledge that you have every right to be upset. You’ve had enough shit going on to have to deal with me too. I’m...ugh…” Cannon pulled away and looked down at his feet, “I really am sorry, I was shitty. I’m going to try really hard not to bring that kind of thing up again.”

Zen’s expression softened, his hand going to ruffle Cannon’s hair now that he was free of his embrace, “Hey, thanks for that. Don’t worry about it, all is forgiven. It did bother me a lot but you coming to me calmly really helps. Is everything okay? You know I’m here if you ever need to talk. “

Cannon shifted slightly. How could he tell Zen anything when he didn’t even know why he was flying off the handle so easily? It wasn’t his mood swings being off, he didn’t feel irregular in that sense. He was just upset about anything and everything when he stepped into Eros. “I dunno. I guess I’ve been working too much. Do you think I could take a few days off soon?”

Zen nodded, bringing his arm back to his side so he could push off the table, “Of course. Let me look at the schedule and see what I can do. I’m sure Sunny won’t mind picking up a few shifts to cover things.”

The tightness in his gut pinched again at the sound of her name, “Could you talk to her for me, then? She seemed really mad and I don’t want to deal with it.”

“Sure, I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry about her, either. You know how quickly she forgives. Oh, and by the way,” Zen cleared his throat, “The hug. It was weird. Lets not do that again, yeah?”

“Yeah, I can assure you that it won’t. I wanted to puke while I was doing it.”

“Glad you didn’t throw up on me. I don’t even know how I would explain that to everyone. Go on, take your break. It’s Friday and I need you to be on top of things.” Zen said as he walked back towards the bar.

Cannon lingered around the pool tables for a bit before dodging his way out to the back alley of the bar. He paced, only stopping to kick aside an empty trash can. He had apologized to Zen and made amends but why did he still feel guilty? “Fucking Sunny…” He muttered. Her disappointment in him was still burning deep and that made him even more angry.

“Hey.”

He whirled around when he heard Sunny’s voice, the tips of his ears heating up with embarrassment, “What do you want? Gonna yell at me some more? Go ahead. I deserve it.”

Sunny winced as she fully stepped outside, sitting on the steps, “Yeah, about that. Zen spoke with me. Cannon, I’m really sorry about going off on you. I didn’t know you were already feeling bad about it and I probably just made it worse. I’m glad you worked it out, though. I’m proud that you could be mature enough to be so candid.”

The gross feeling Cannon had now changed to butterflies in his stomach, causing him to turn around so she wouldn’t notice the blush he felt creeping on his cheeks now, “Yeah well...he’s an asshole but you were right, he’s been through so much already. I guess I can give him a break.”

She laughed a bit; the response from him made her feel better that he was back to his normal self, “Hopefully everyone can get along better from now on.”

“Everyone?” He asked, “I don’t know about that. Some people are just meant to stay away from each other. But at the very least, we can shut up enough to get through the work shift.”

“I like to think I get along with everyone! Even with you! I don’t mind the things you say even if you are mean at times.” She stood up and skipped over to his side, putting her arm around his shoulder, “I think we all make a great team!”

“Tch.” He looked away from her, but her actions strangely calmed him a lot more than he expected, “I guess you’re not so bad yourself. At least, in small doses.”

“Really?” She replied quickly, giving him a big smile, “See! I knew you weren’t such a grump! Come on, let’s get inside. They are probably wondering where we are. Cannon, but honestly, I’m sorry.”

He shrugged, reaching a hand to the small of her back to lead her to the back door, “It’s cool, I’m over it.”

tags: @zenscrotch @illneverrecover @suzunesays @serensama @sinfulinsecret @forever-ender