#[secretly bad because akechi dead]

[marigoldthegamer]

Long ass ramble below the cut, you have been warned lmao, also MAJOR MAJOR P5R SPOILERS BTW :)))))

Akira would listen to Ophelia after Akechi's death. [The Maruki good anding one, but could also after both.] I refuse to elaborate, but it's giving that vibe tbh.

But really, I imagine [Akeshu/Shuake or not] that Akira/Ren is just depressed after Akechi's death. Like he's a grieving teenager give him space. Like I've just been thinking about the train scene when he leaves to go to his home town, I feel like he would shove on some headphones and play some shit like Ophelia or Baby Hotline or something, ya get me? Also, if anybody at all even reads this I'll probably be posting a few more rambles, as I've got a very severe case of fandom brainworms. Anyways yeah he has a specific playlist for when he wants to feel his feelies about Akechi and it's called some shit like 'Rivals Till Death', and I have had brainworms about this for WEEKS. Anyways cya have fun, stay safe.

-Blip Rants

[vashtijoy]

probably a silly question, but i was under the impression that mental shutdowns can either kill or put someone in a coma, while psychotic breaks make the victim abandon all societal norms and whatever inhibitions they had. sort of like. it will make them act like their worst self and desires and intrusive thoughts but it won't kill them. is this wrong? :0 i guess even in my interpretation a psychotic break can make someone act in such a way that will cause them serious body harm or death. but can a psychotic break kill on its own?

You have it right, anon! Definitions again:

psychotic breakdown—more literally something like "mental rampage", this is the result of Akechi using Call of Chaos on someone's shadow. The game implies (with statements like "once the chains on [their] heart are broken") that the things people do during a breakdown are things they can't admit they want to do; the things they repress down into their shadow. These result in "accidents and scandals", and (probably?) won't kill you directly.

mental shutdown—the result of Akechi killing someone's shadow, this is haijinka, more literally "cripple-ization" or "making someone a human wreck" (thanks so much, y'all)—note that 廃人 haijin is derogatory and "should be used with caution".

Here's Japanese Wikipedia (via Google Translate bc I'm both lazy and busy this morning) on haijin:

When people are generally called "haijin", most of them refer to cases in which sociality is significantly impaired compared to healthy people . Because of the particularly strong discriminatory elements, it is used when the mind is destroyed or activity is hindered due to congenital (or acquired) mental disorders, or when normal social activities are difficult.

Note that, while these are two very different things, with very different effects, the localisation typically muddies the water by saying shutdown when it means breakdown, or vice versa. Or by turning "shutdowns and breakdowns" into one or the other. Or by describing something else entirely as a mental shutdown—the cases in that post are breakdowns, but they're a specific subset of breakdown. So when you hear these mentioned in English, think about what they're describing, and which definition it meets. The characters are often validly confused about what's going on, but the terminology is also usually muddled, one way or another.

how fatal are they tho

Using @cincosechzehn's original spreadsheet as an indicator, we see five mental shutdowns in canon, as part of the plot: Wakaba, Kayo, Kobayakawa, Okumura and the SIU Director. Out of these five, the only five we see onscreen, four of them die and one recovers.

Those are bad odds. Those are really bad odds. That's an 80% kill rate. Like, the SIU guy and Okumura may not be in good health, but by their nature mental shutdowns are going to tend to target older people in power. Wakaba and Kobayakawa may just in the wrong place at the wrong time—but that's still 40%; going brain dead in the real world is not safe.

On the upside, the only person we hear about having a mental shutdown and not dying immediately does begin to recover in the medium term. But Sae (a reliable source, unlike the TV news) tells us people "lose consciousness, never to recover"—which likely makes those odds a bit worse.

Based on this, I would be really hesitant about saying "mental shutdowns aren't fatal". 80% fatal is essentially "only not murder because I missed". Additionally, it looks like Shido and the SIU Director may sometimes send the Cleaner in to "clean up", when a shutdown victim doesn't die first time—for instance, he may have been responsible for that truck that hit Kobayakawa. Not sure about this one yet.

what about the psychotic breakdowns?

Again, a psychotic breakdown seems to make you rampage and do something you secretly want to do, but are usually restrained from by little things like morality and not hurting others. They often seem so targetted (Akechi gives X a psychotic breakdown to make them do useful thing Y) that I think there must be an interrogation element—like he talks to the shadow to see what it wants to do, and maybe has to take time to find one that will serve his purpose. For instance, if he wants a flashy subway accident, he can't CoC a random train driver who it turns out just wants to slam on the brakes and jerk off.

So the breakdowns are described as "accidents and scandals", because sometimes they're devastating, but sometimes someone just loses their mind and does something weird. Or they start swinging a knife around on a train.

And here we need to get into intent. Akechi doesn't have a death note, after all. He can't just write down "this guy smashes his train through several stations at top speed, eventually derails it with catastrophic effect, and nobody dies." He sends the driver in knowing the likelihood is that the result will be a lot of dead people.

Because that's what happens. Akechi starts the ball rolling, probably with a rough idea that it will serve the purpose he was assigned, and then he has to let it roll and see where it lands.

This is why almost the first thing that happens in the game is that we get told about a "rampage accident" that is fatal:

(I figured this list really deserved its own post.)

Here's the top item on that list again:

バス暴走死傷事故 basu bousou shishou jiko reckless bus driving accident that caused injuries and deaths

This is a really interesting choice for the top item in the list. It's a case of 暴走運転 bousou unten "reckless driving", sure. But Japanese players are going to get very used to that word bousou, very quickly, in the context of the 精神暴走事件 seishin bousou jiken—the psychotic breakdown cases.

This is an explicit link between the word bousou—Akechi's word that describes his unique signature skill and his effect on others and ultimately his combat style—and a fatal accident. And it's right up at the front of the game, when about all we know about "psychotic breakdowns" is that some girls were talking about them as a spooky occult thing, on the train into Shibuya. Like, they could have chosen almost any of the things on this list to make fatal. But it was this one, and IMO that's important. The subway train derailing may not have been fatal, but the first thing the game wants us to know about psychotic breakdowns is that a. that people are terrified by them, b. that they can be extremely dramatic, and c. that people die from them.

To address your question again, specifically: no, people (probably; see below) don't die just from having a psychotic breakdown. But nobody "just" has a psychotic breakdown. The point is to make them do something—and the thing they do may well be devastating, and cause devastating injuries, up to and including deaths. Or it may just be personally devastating.

but then there are the chats and news stories

There are a lot of in-game rumours about psychotic breakdowns, and a lot of what appears to be misinformation, mainly because the difference between psychotic breakdowns and mental shutdowns is not clear.

One rumour is that breakdowns lead to mental shutdowns: "those people end up going brain dead", "they become haijin during interrogation". Another is that "you suddenly pass out ... [and] die in a lot of pain". Well, rumours are rumours.

But we also hear that "the news is saying the [train] driver couldn't even speak when they tried asking him questions". Of course, we know the news is controlled... but then we have to ask ourself what else they aren't reporting on.

doesn't akechi give himself psychotic breakdowns

The quick answer here is no. You could maybe argue that he does when the only example we had was the engine room, but in the third semester we get his Showtime, when he uses it repeatedly to put himself into a berserker rage. It looks like it gives him a bit of a headache afterwards, or makes him dizzy.

Call of Chaos just doesn't seem to work the same on Akechi (or, for that matter, on the two ordinary shadows he casts it on) as it does on people's shadows, when it goes "up the chain" and controls them in the real world. The immediate thing I'd point out is that Akechi doesn't drool blood (that I've noticed, at least) and his eyes don't roll back in his head (you can see his irises, albeit tiny and extremely crazy). Akechi can still speak, though he doesn't make much sense. He's not entirely out of control (despite being in, seemingly, a blind killing rage, he never attacks Joker in the Showtime—and there's a plot bunny for anyone who wants to pick it up and run with it.)

He is not experiencing exactly what his victims do—though he's experiencing something very similar: a lifting of his "chains", his inhibitions. It really seems like a true psychotic breakdown may be something that lingers with you, that lasts a long time, that probably leaves you in ruins. I'm not sure we ever hear of anyone who had one and was fine afterwards, though I can't swear to this.

[akechicrimes]

7 or 71 for either shuake or yukamitsu [big eye emojis]

7. “I told you that I’d never leave you; I’m not going anywhere.”

On Goro’s thirty-fourth birthday at ten-thirty in the morning, Akira calls him at work and says, “Happy birthday, dear. I just got hit by a car, and I need to know what color bike you want.”

*

On Goro’s thirty-fourth birthday at ten-thirty in the morning, Akira calls him at work (which Goro dubiously eyeballs for a whole four seconds before picking up) and says, “Happy birthday, dear. I just got hit by a car, and I need to know what color bike you want.”

Well, neither Goro nor Akira own a car for Akira to drive, so that means Akira got hit on foot. Goro is very calm, and has no immediate panic response to that, because he’s a rational and responsible adult. “Are you dead?” Goro asks.

“Probably not.”

“And is there a reason you’re calling me instead of the ambulance?”

“Oh, I’m fine. I think I have a bruise on one of my legs, if that counts. But I was riding your bike when it happened, so the bike got totaled, so, you know. They’ve got the same model you had, but there’s tons of new colors, if you want pictures.”

Goro takes a very long, very deep breath. Goro is very, extremely calm. “Anything is fine,” he says. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, hundred percent. I even landed on my feet; you should’ve seen it.”

“You should go to the ER anyway,” says Goro, in a voice that is truly the epitome of calm.

“I mean, I guess I could, but that seems like a waste of time. And I don’t want to just leave your bike in the middle of the road.”

“Throw it away if it’s wrecked, then.”

“But it deserves a proper send-off.”

“You’re doing this to me on my birthday, Kurusu.”

“I’ll go to the ER if you go with me,” says Akira hopefully, who is a perennially bad influence who is of the opinion that Goro should have just said he’d be ‘working from home’ and spent the day with him.

Goro takes a look at his calendar, tallies up how many meeting he’d have to reschedule, and waits a whole five seconds before he lets himself say, “Fine,” because Akira just said that he’s fine and Goro isn’t upset and everything is so calm that Goro can wait five seconds before agreeing to leave work. “I’ll see you at Leblanc.”

“Wait, wait, which color for the bike? They’ve got green, blue, a red, a kind of fun rose-gold thing, which is a bit excessive considering it’s a bike, and teal, and a kind of blue and orange Naruto-y thing…”

“Anything is fine.” Goro stops. “Except the last one.”

“Red it is! See you in a bit.”

“Don’t ride that bike back to Leblanc,” says Goro, as if lightning might strike twice on the same day on the same man riding the same model bike of the same color, but Akira’s already hung up. Goro speed-drafts a rescheduling email, copy-pastes it to four different people, and then sprints out the office door without even a goodbye to his coworkers.

*

Friday, 11:16 AM

FUTABA: hey

FUTABA: hey goro

FUTABA: hey gorororororororororo

FUTABA: HEY MR AKECHI KURUSU

GORO: If it’s about the traffic accident, I heard about it.

GORO: I’m going back to Leblanc now.

FUTABA: no it’s smthg else

FUTABA: well it is about the accident but i got smthg else for u

FUTABA sent MOV19.mp4

FUTABA: ripped this from the traffic cam

GORO: Is this footage of the accident?

FUTABA: yeehaw

GORO: …Thank you for the offer, but I don’t know if I want to see this.

FUTABA: ok i hear u but i promise it’s hilarious

FUTABA: and also u might feel better if u see it

FUTABA: like idk what he told u on the phone but like

FUTABA: look the car even slowed down at the intersection

FUTABA: the dude was obeying traffic laws and everything he was doing something like ten under the speed limit

FUTABA: the car ENTIRELY missed akira

FUTABA: got the bike full on

FUTABA: and then he just rolls up across the hood and up the windshield like a looney toon

FUTABA: rip ur bike tho it just goes cronch

FUTABA: instant pretzel

FUTABA: ty bichael for ur sacrifice

FUTABA: also idk i figured you

FUTABA: might wanna see for urself that he’s okay

FUTABA: like u can see him stand up at the end and he’s not even confused or anything he’s super duper ok

FUTABA: he’s not bullshitting u over the phone and pretending he’s ok when he’s not ok

FUTABA: u know how he does lmao

GORO: …Huh.

GORO: He really did land on his feet for a whole second there, didn’t he?

FUTABA: yeah like a cat

FUTABA: it’s nuts tbh

FUTABA: and then he remembers he’s a human and falls on his ass LMAO

FUTABA: show it to morgana i want his professional kitty cat opinion on the matter

FUTABA: rate akira’s near death experience

FUTABA: also the driver was v nice and v apologetic and he gave akira his insurance

FUTABA: but i have his home address and work address and phone number and the name of his dog if you want it

GORO: Just the insurance will be fine.

FUTABA: kk

GORO: …And thanks for sending the video.

GORO: Even though I already knew he was fine.

FUTABA: you know those like

FUTABA: itty bitty teeny weeny micro dogs

FUTABA: that are like four and a half pounds

FUTABA: but they think they can take any mfer on the block out of sheer will alone

FUTABA: and theyve always got their eyeballs bulging out and they pick fights with 70 pound dogs

FUTABA: and they have only two emotions which are rage and anxiety and they shake constantly because theyre only four pounds and they have So Much Emotion and nowhere to put it so they vibrate at the speed of sound

GORO: Is this a metaphor about me.

FUTABA: it’s a metaphor about you

FUTABA: because i can hear your shaky angry anxious four pound vibrating all the way from the other side of tokyo

GORO: You are the smallest, angriest, most anxious person I know, who regularly picks fights with international hacking organizations and billion-dollar companies.

GORO: And I, somehow, am the angry shaky dog.

FUTABA: your husband got hit by a car on ur birthday

GORO: I know that.

GORO: I do not need to be reminded.

FUTABA: ah yeah

FUTABA: sorry

GORO: He’s fine.

GORO: He said he’s fine.

GORO: And from this footage, he’s more than fine.

FUTABA: he is super double extra fine with a side of fine

GORO: Unless this footage was in any way edited.

GORO: And unless he was faking his call, somehow.

GORO: In which case, I’m going to walk into Leblanc and find out that he was just pretending to be okay so he could hear my voice one last time and Leblanc will be swarming with police officers to break the news the newly bereaved.

GORO: But that’s not going to happen.

GORO: Because Akira is fine, and I’m perfectly fine.

FUTABA: im rly glad to hear my man

GORO: This footage isn’t edited, is it.

FUTABA: no

GORO: Are you very sure?

GORO: Videos are easily modified.

GORO: Would you even know if it was edited?

FUTABA: yes im a literal wizard of course i would know

FUTABA: where are u even getting this idea from

GORO: The entire series of events is unrealistic, isn’t it?

GORO: You said yourself that it was almost like something out of a cartoon.

GORO: The likelihood that someone gets hit by a car and comes out of it entirely no worse for wear is practically ridiculous.

FUTABA: i ripped that film straight from the cam it is entirely unedited

GORO: But how can you be sure? Did you see him in live camera?

FUTABA: i mean no but he texted me

GORO: What if that was his dying text.

FUTABA: i rly dont know if his dying text would have been the “i lived bitch” meme with the cat filter

FUTABA: he’s fine dude

FUTABA: that’s why i sent you the video

GORO: I KNOW he’s fine.

GORO: I’m asking if there’s any solid evidence.

FUTABA: THE VIDEO

GORO: I’m going to call him. Brb

FUTABA: so what he can tell you he’s fine AGAIN and you’ll be like

FUTABA: “oh but what if it was secretly a pod person who stole his body after he died tragically after calling me one last time to hear my voice”

FUTABA: he is FINE

FUTABA: like go ahead and call him if u want but

FUTABA: the only person who was gonna edit that footage was me

FUTABA: and if he were dead i would not be functioning enough to be doing any kinda photoshop like that

FUTABA: let alone LIE to you jesus christ!!!!!

FUTABA: god

FUTABA: i pronounce you King Shaky Dog

FUTABA: the tiniest and angriest and shakiest and most anxious four pound goblin

FUTABA: i will reclaim my title tomorrow

FUTABA: for now it’s my birthday gift to you

FUTABA: the title of Shaky Dog allows you to go absolutely apeshit and nobody will judge you

GORO: You know I hate birthday presents.

FUTABA: did you call akira

GORO: I hate birthday presents so much that I will be refusing my title as King Shaky Dog and will henceforth not be going ape shit.

FUTABA: ok so

FUTABA: i didnt mean to

FUTABA: get snippy with you or anything

GORO: It’s fine.

GORO: I wasn’t… exactly polite, myself.

GORO: So.

FUTABA: um

FUTABA: you really can call him if you want

FUTABA: there’s nothing wrong with that

FUTABA: between u and me……………………. i definitely did that more than once for a lot lesser reasons than someone getting hit by a car

GORO: My stop is in less than thirty seconds.

GORO: I will probably live.

FUTABA: lmao ok well

FUTABA: if u change ur mind about losing ur shit then please know i gave u that footage in the first place because i think if something like that happened to MY partner i would mcfreakin lose it

FUTABA: speaking of her

FUTABA: sumi says happy birth btw

FUTABA: but cuter because u know how she is

FUTABA: “happy birthday crow-senpai~~~~~~~~” in her shy voice that makes u wanna die

FUTABA: ofoogofhghhfoghfhhghfh g gh SUMI ur so cute ilysm

GORO: Tell her I said thanks.

GORO: And stop telling me how much you love her and use the ring you made me go ring shopping with you for.

FUTABA: HHHHH

FUTABA: im being cyberbullied for being a cowardly lesbian

GORO: I’m at my stop, by the way, so I’m going offline.

FUTABA: which tbh i probably deserve

FUTABA: oh kk see u

FUTABA: watch the video again mr shaky dog

FUTABA: akira is fine

FUTABA: everyone is alive

FUTABA: you are one year older

FUTABA: happy birthday goro

*

The bike is totaled.

Akira isn’t the sort of person to dump a piece of trash right in front of Leblanc, but it’s hard to miss sticking out of the nearby public trash bin. The back wheel has exploded into serrated wheel-spokes and limb rubber bits that Akira’s shoved into the trash as best as he could. The body of the bike is crushed in on itself, exposing its sharp hollow innards; the handlebars resemble a badly-tied knot. The front wheel is left to stick up and out, creaking gently, spinning overhead from half a hinge like a head not quite fully severed.

The cafe is empty except for its usual barista who, of course, is a very normal and mild-mannered barista, who has nothing to do with the several hundred millions worth of dollars of repatriated art hiding in the attic en route back to South Korea. That would be illegal, of course, and Akira Kurusu-Akechi has never once in his life done anything illegal in the name of what’s morally right. “Welcome back, dear,” says Akira, and hangs up a coffee mug to dry, and it’s so normal that Goro is convinced that either he’s experiencing yesterday, or maybe he’s re-experiencing the year 2016 all over again, or maybe Akira really is dead and this is just his ghost.

Goro sits in his usual spot at the bar. Same chair, sixteen years later. Unbelievable. Maybe Goro’s giving him a little bit of a dumbfounded look, because Akira tilts his head, leans across the bar, and pecks Goro on the cheek.

“Where’s Sakura?” Goro asks.

“Having his midday old man nap. So,” says Akira, looking pleased with himself, “either we can close Leblanc for an hour and raid the kitchen and make lunch, or we can close Leblanc and go out and have a fancy lunch. Your choice because I already made dinner reservations and we’re doing those no matter what.”

Goro really means to give him an answer, because Akira really does love Goro’s birthday every year and never fails to pick someplace nice for the day, but instead what comes out of his mouth is: “Did you ride the new bike back home?”

“Yeah, I did. Figured I might as well take it for a test drive. It’s a good bike.”

“Why didn’t you take the subway?” Goro says sharply.

“Didn’t have my card.”

“You just rode the bike all the way across Tokyo?”

“It wasn’t all the way across Tokyo, just a bit away and back… Goro?”

Ah, Goro’s going to become one of those people who has a meltdown any time their loved one gets on a plane or a train or ksomething else associated with heebie-jeebie nonsense magical thinking. Great. Fantastic. God dammit.

“Do you really want me to go to the ER?” Akira asks eventually.

Goro really wants Akira to have never gotten hit in the first place, but people don’t get what they want and sometimes the universe decides to send one bad fucking driver through a red light and take away Akira’s entire life in a split second—one mistake, a coincidence at the wrong place and time, and the boy who fought God and won is a smear of bones on the pavement.

This would be different if it were sixteen years ago, and Goro had the power to bend people’s minds in half until they broke, or dive into the deepest, bloodiest parts of the collective psyche and pummel the worst of them to a pulp—but what’s he going to do here? Lambast a guy who was going ten miles under the speed limit and just wasn’t looking the right way? Is he going to summon a new Persona from his soul and undo time itself?

Can he do anything if the universe decides, one day, that Akira’s time on this earth is up? He spent all those years desperate for power, and then abusing that power, and then desperately guilty for having abused that power, and then desperately trying to get up that power, and now here he is with the power to do jack shit when his husband almost gets run over and if the Metaverse were still around he swears he would have carved Loki from his own soul out of sheer fury alone—

“No,” says Goro sharply, and stands up. “It’s nothing. I’m not hungry, and I’m going for a walk. Please don’t text me unless it’s an emergency.”

“What—hey! Goro, wait, wait—”

“I’m getting some fresh air!”

Akira’s scrambling to get out from behind the bar. “Didn’t you just get here—?”

Goro spins around and points a finger at Akira like it’s his fault: “You were the one,” he snarls, “who promised, when we got married, that we’d always be together. And now you get hit on a bike, and then stand up like it’s nothing and—and get on another bike and go cycling around the exact same streets where you got hit—? Aren’t you scared? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

Akira falls silent. “I didn’t go back to the same intersection,” he says at last.

Goro can’t take this. “I’m taking a walk.”

“Wait wait wait, Goro, just—” Akira grabs Goro’s hand and Goro has the sudden urge to yank his arm away, but Akira’s hand is also incredibly real, just like it felt this morning and yesterday and the day before that and all the days Goro ever took Akira’s living, breathing body for granted. “I didn’t think it was a big deal. He was going, I dunno, twenty miles per hour at most. It was an intersection. He’d slowed down beforehand and everything, and I didn’t even get hurt on the fall.”

Right, because Goro’s the one who’s just freaking out for no reason. Right. Okay. Because that’s how he is, isn’t he, always being dramatic over little things. Right. Of course. This is fine.

When Goro doesn’t turn around, Akira moves around to the front to look him in the eye. “Sorry if I made you worry,” says Akira. “But it was really nothing at all.”

“Maybe it was nothing this time,” says Goro forcefully. “But what about the next time—the next car—the next time you borrow my bike? What about tomorrow? Or the day after that? Literally any one of the hundreds and hundreds of days coming up where you could easily die just as easily as you died today.”

“Then I’ll escape death hundreds and hundreds of times,” says Akira.

Goro scoffs.

“I mean it. I was a Phantom Thief, wasn’t I? I escaped death more than once. Did it again today. I’ll do it as many times as it takes until we’re both old and grey.” Akira takes Goro’s hand, but it’s Goro who laces their fingers together.

“Sometimes it doesn’t work that way,” says Goro, like a bad echo of his ten-year-old self, trying to figure out what kind of world would let his mother die.

“I’m just keeping my promise,” says Akira. “I told you that I’d never leave you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Sometimes that’s not your decision to make.”

“It is and I’ve decided I’m immortal until you die.”

Goro scoffs. “Don’t be arrogant.”

“Is it being arrogant? I didn’t let death steal you away from me. I’m not letting it steal me away from you, either.”

“Sometimes…” Goro begins.

“'Sometimes’ what?”

'Sometimes’ what?

Sometimes things get worse. People die early, and unfulfilled; they streak through the sky in a blaze and then wink out, without even a burst of fire to show for it. Sometimes nobody gets a say in what happens, and plans don’t pan out, and wishes aren’t granted, and everything happens for no good reason and no good end.

Today, Goro Akechi-Kurusu is thirty-four years old, about sixteen years older than he ever figured he was going to be. He has a career in a non-profit for maladjusted youth getting reacclimated to school systems and preparing for college, instead of the career in law he figured he’d have if he actually lived that long. He doesn’t just have one friend, but multiple friends. He has, unbelievably, a husband, which honestly still floors him to this day, considering that he was and maybe still is convinced that marriage is a scam devised by asshole men like his father to manipulate young women into a false sense of security. The other day, Akira mentioned that he wanted to get a cat to keep Morgana company, maybe in a few years when they moved into a pet-friendly apartment, and in Goro’s head, it made sense that they would both be alive and together entire years in the future for them to get a cat.

Today is already an impossible day, isn’t it?

“Sometimes,” says Goro flatly, “you say ridiculous things, and I think that you could actually pull it off.”

Akira grins. Akira leans in for their regular greeting kiss when one of them comes home, but this time, Goro closes his eyes, leans into it, really tries to memorize the feel of Akira’s lips on his. Every line and scar on his hands, the odd ends of his fingernails, that familiar way he waits for four beats, then takes a breath through his nose and kisses Goro again, and never can quite seem to avoid kissing him more on the bottom lip than the top. “I don’t make promises I can’t keep,” he says plainly not three inches from Goro’s face. “It’s bad form to leave a calling card and never show up.”

Goro smiles. “Then I won’t let you break your word.”

When Akira pulls away, he kisses the back of Goro’s hand, like a proper gentleman thief of old. “Happy birthday, dear,” he says, and surprisingly, despite the way this awful day started off, Goro thinks that Akira might be able to pull that promise off, too.

[manygalaxiesinone]

Persona Characters in a Nutshell:

Naoya: “I’m the original protagonist. I’m also a gamer.”

Maki: “The first game is literally all about curing my illness.”

Kei: “I have money, but I don’t really screw the rules.”

Eriko: “I’m so eccentric and unpredictable I’m actually scary. Also, I secretly want Naoya’s “D”.”

Masao: “So wait, am I Black or...?”

Ayase: “I’m the only member of the “Magician” Arcana whose love life didn’t end in tragedy...for now.”

Yukino: “I have more involvement in the sequel game than I do in the title I first appeared in.”

Reiji: “Fuck Kandori!”

Hidehiko: “I’m awesome! Why? Because I said so!”

Philemon: “TRUE fans would know that I’M the master of the Velvet Room.”

Igor: “TRUE fans would know that I’M actually just filling in for my master.”

Belladonna & Nameless: “You may not be able to see us in later titles, but trust us, we’re still here.”

Kandori: “I’m the first main villain of the series, and I’m not the final boss of the main story.”

Tatsuya: “I may or may not be emo.”

Lisa: “I want Tatsuya’s “D”!”

Eikichi: “Don’t tell my dad what I’ve been up to!”

Maya: “I’m everyone’s favorite “Big Sis” reporter! Also, I’m the first female protagonist of the series.”

Jun: “I’m the original Joker!”

Takashi: “I’ve been doing the asshole school staff thing before it was cool.”

Demon Painter: “I’m the only human Velvet Room attendant.”

Motoko: “I’m NOT a Velvet Room Attendant.”

Tatsuya Sudou: “I may or may not be the reaper shadow that appears in later games.”

Fuher: “I’m Hitler. That’s it.”

Nyarlathotep: “I’m anti-Philemon. You know all those shadow selves of everyone that attack people? You’re welcome.”

Minato: “Believe it or not, I’m not emo.”

Minako: “I’m technically canon now thanks to PQ2. Also I’m cheerful and upbeat to the point of being adorable!”

Yukari: “I’m actually the best healer in the series. Also I secretly want Minato’s “D”, though I’ll never say it flat out.”

Junpei: “I’m the only truly laid back character in this series. That’s the joke.”

Akihiko: “Protein everyday!”

Mitsuru: “Screw the rules? I MAKE the rules.”

Fuuka: “I’m kind of like Rutile from Disgaea 3.”

Koromaru: “Woof!” (I make things explode.)

Aigis: “I want to protect Minato and Minako, even though I can’t remember why.”

Ken: “I’m pretty mature for my age.”

Shinjiro: “Just a head’s up. You might not want to get too attached to me.”

Ms. Toriumi: “I’m actually one of the better teachers in this series, and I’m secretly attracted to one of my students.”

Shuji: “My plan is literally the plot of Nocturne.”

Ryoji: “I’m Vigilance from Soul Nomad, except I also flirt from time to time.”

Takaya: “I just wanted to see Fear the Gr- I mean Nyx destroy the world.”

Jin: “If you’re not Takaya, then fuck you.”

Chidori: “I’m kind of like Namine from Kingdom Hearts, but not really.”

Elizabeth: “I’m the dangerously adorable member of the Velvet room! All will fear me, but all will love me as well.”

Theodore: “I think I’m being bullied by my older sisters.”

Yu: “I’m the King.”

Yosuke: “I have terrible luck. That’s the joke.”

Chie: “Brawn over brains!”

Yukiko: “I’m Eriko 2.0, minus the part about wanting Yu’s “D”...maybe...

Teddie: “I’m basically Tink from Disgaea 2. I even started out with his voice. Now I have a prinny voice.”

Rise: “I want Yu’s “D” so bad! Even when he becomes an old man!”

Kanji/Naoto: “We don’t have a thing for each other!” (Audience: “Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...)

Adachi: “Who wants to talk about murder-”

Ryotaro: “Shut up Adachi!”

Nanako: “I’m the little sister everyone wishes they had!”

Morooka: “This class is too sexy!”

Kashiwagi: “This class isn’t sexy enough!”

Namatame/Kubo: “We’re the culprits...but not really.”

Margaret: “I’m the most matured member of the Velvet Room. Also I miss my sister... deeply.”

Marie: “I hate you...but I love you...but I hate you.”

Izanami: “I’m the first person you meet in town, so I’m the main villain.”

Labrys: “My sisters are dead!”

Rei: “My personality gave birth to the Anti-Shadow Suppression Weapons!”

Zen: “You know how Ryoji’s supposed to be the incarnation of Death? Yeah, about that.”

Akira: “I’m kind of like Killia except more laid back.”

Morgana: “GO TO SLEEP!!!”

Ryuji: “Fuck Kamoshida!”

Ann: “I’m a bit more airheaded than you’d expect...Just a bit though.”

Yusuke: “Screw the money, I have art.”

Makoto: “Just because I’m an honor student, doesn’t mean I’ll hesitate to kick your ass.”

Futaba: “I’m the one person everyone wants to date. Should I be concerned?”

Haru: “Admit it. You want to cuddle me, don’t you?”

Akechi: “My betrayal isn’t as big of a shocker as you would think.”

Sojiro: “I’m a very reasonable guy once you get to know me.”

Kawakami: “I’m like Ms. Toriumi except I spend my time as a maid instead of playing an MMO version of one of the previous games.”

Caroline: “Fuck you.”

Justine: “I secretly dislike you.”

Lavenza: “We’re cool now.”

Igor (?): “If you played Disgaea 1, then you’ll see my true intentions coming a mile away.”

Shido: “I’m Void Dark, minus the sister complex.”

[jokarnofuru]

What about a certain ace detective?

send “what about” and a person and my muse will say their honest feelings/thoughts about them | accepting

( >> under the cut for length! )

     “…”

     Where even is he to start with how he feels towards him? It’s not easy to put his thoughts into words, and it’s even harder considering all that’s happened between them and all that’s been thrown at them, willingly and unwillingly.

After all, Akira Kurusu could never have seen him caring as much about Goro Akechi as he does now.

     “He’s…someone I have a lot to say about. And it’s not easy to put all those thoughts into words. Because…a lot has happened between us, both good and bad, and it’s more than either of us should have to deal with.”

     Making two teenagers have to determine the fate of humanity and the world in a rigged game is something they should’ve never had to deal with. A game that neither of them wanted to be dragged in, and one that ended the way it did.

     Then again, they’ve dealt with so much outside of their roles as a phantom thief and the detective that was trying to catch them. Outside of the roles as the trickster and the black mask - one who changed hearts and one who caused them to go berserk. Two wild cards, two sides of the same coin, fated rivals, thesis and antithesis.

     They’re so alike yet so different. All that makes them different is the paths they took in their lives.

     I wish we had met a few years earlier.

     Akira wishes, wishes with everything he has that they could’ve. That they, no, he could’ve done something to help him. To have been able to reach out earlier than he had. To have been anything more than they were.

     “I…I don’t think I hated him at all, back then. I know the others might’ve, just because of us being thieves and him being the detective that was supposed to take us down. Even when he was in opposition of us, even when he blackmailed his way into our group, even when we found out he was going to sell us out and try to kill me, even when we fought…”

     He trails off once he mentions their confrontation. It’s weighed so heavily on his mind, despite it being such a blur in his memories. He didn’t want to fight him, he really didn’t. Everyone didn’t want to fight him and even after that, they all offered him a chance to come with them, to be one of them again…

     And that was cruelly taken away from them, from him.

     Even more than that, there’s so many words from their confrontation that weigh on his mind as well. He’s supposedly the special one, supposedly just some criminal trash living in an attic, and he…

     He doesn’t think that at all.

     Akira doesn’t think himself to be special. Not in the slightest. Even if he’s their leader, it doesn’t mean he’s any different than the rest of them. He didn’t ask for what happened to him to have happened, it just did and he couldn’t say no to it. He was chosen for whatever reason and he couldn’t run from it. Put on a mask and deal with it. Push on ahead despite how uncertain he is at times, not showing the doubts and worries and fears he has.

     …He’s getting sidetracked isn’t he?

     “I didn’t realize it at the time, but I cared about him, perhaps more than I should’ve. But I still cared despite everything. And when it hit me that he was dead and gone it was…too much to deal with. Too much to handle. It just broke me, and I didn’t realize how much it hurt…”

     Even now it still hurts. How much the other boy’s death hurt him. Even when everyone else seemed to forget him, Akira swore to himself that he wouldn’t. He owed him that much, to prove that their vow that turned into a blood oath meant something.

     Secretly, and perhaps selfishly he wished to be able to see him again. Even if he knew it wasn’t possible, he still wanted it. And now…

     Now he has his chance again.

     “I didn’t think we’d ever meet again, yet we did, here. And I don’t want this chance to slip by. I want to reach out to him this time, want us to be friends without anything holding us back. I want to be able to have a bond with him that won’t break in the end, one that lasts as long as we can make it last.”

     He pauses.

     “But I’m scared. I’m scared of pushing too much, asking for too much. I’m scared that I’ll end up pushing him away for good. That…” He swallows around the lump in his throat. “That I’ll end up losing him again. I can’t…I can’t deal with that happening again, I just can’t-!”

     Ah. There’s the tears again. How many times will he cry over this boy? How many emotions does the other cause him to have?

     How many times will his heart break for this boy?

     “I…I want to be able to say these things to him but I’m just so afraid of everything falling apart around us. Of everything to come crashing down. It all seems much to real, and I know it is but I still can’t help but be afraid. Maybe someday I can tell him these things…”

     But for now, they’ll remain unspoken until the time is right. All of these thoughts, feelings, emotions and everything that they mean to each other, now and what they could mean to each other in the future.

[fury-brand]

Would it bad if I asked you to answer all of the questions for that P5 ask meme? I’m really curious for your answers and I already listed at least 8 to ask in my head lol

Nope, I’ll just answer the rest here, or at least the ones I have answers for.

SPOILERS below, obviously

Futaba: Favorite Palace?

Futaba’s palace was the most creative and interesting expression of the problem at hand, not to mention pretty fun to look at. I didn’t care for navigating it so much, but so it goes. I also really liked Sae’s palace.

Caroline: Least favorite Palace?

Probably the space factory. I really hated navigating the airlocks but the dungeon design itself was also just way too much gunmetal grey and I don’t think the theme contributed to much of anything, or provided any interesting metaphors. Madarame’s was also pretty weak for me, but it was a lot more fun to navigate and the gallery was fairly well designed. I just don’t think it added a ton to be like “Oh no, my master is secretly tacky!”

Sae: Least Favorite Character?

Akechi. I hate that he ripped off Naoto’s bit, I hate that he is so overwhelmingly popular and was destined to be, and I hate how inconsistent or implausible I find his whole character and situation to be. His relationship with Shido struck me as one of several instances where the game is too clumsy and heavy handed in its attempt to write about abuse. As a result Akechi feels really muddled, the kind of character that they put at a crossroads of a bunch of different plot lines and demanded you feel something about but who tends to detract from everything going on around him.

Mishima: Favorite (non-party member) Social Link?

Sae, who is fantastically underrated. She’s a difficult character with a really interesting arc, the one antagonist who puts herself through a change of heart and who so often has one foot on both sides of the fence. She’s a perpetrator of some of the game’s oppressive systems but very often a victim of it as well, and although the interrogation framing narrative could seem a little silly at times I always liked where it placed her. You get to see a lot of how she unfolds and unlike Akechi, they give you lots of room to decide for yourself how feel about her.

Yusuke: Best Boy?

Ryuji for sure, I have no idea why so many people didn’t like him. He’s genuine and his struggle with authority feels well-informed and he’s very sweet to his mom, so I don’t care if he’s a moron at times.

Medjed: Favorite part in the game?

Oh man there were some good ones:

The plot to get free from the interrogation room and the Oceans 11-esque reveal of how it’s pulled off

IGOR

Pretty much the entire ending top to bottom

BELIEVING IN THE PHANTOM THIEVES!!!!

Mementos: Least Favorite part in the game?

mementos, ironically - hate the music

Arsene: Favorite awakening scene?

I think my soul might have left my body when Johanna awakened

Kawakami: Most surprising scene?

Definitely the Igor reveal, they totally had me because I’d been following the news about his Japanese voice actor being dead and so it didn’t strike me as odd

Takemi: Favorite NPC?

I already said Sae so my second favourite is probably Sojiro because I love that good good found family arc.

[randomhomosapiens]

Morning mental puzzles - part 2

Pairing : Mitsuhide × MC (is slightly different from the original MC)

Summary : MC got drunk the night before, as it happens sometimes, and one thing leading to another, she ended up finishing the night with Mitsuhisnake. Which is fine. Except. When she gets drunk, on the next day, she forgets everything, and I mean everything that has happened recently in her life. "Recently" going back to ... before she got in the Sengoku period, that is.

Words : 1 789

Tagging : @pseudofaux this took so long I'm so sorry haha

Read part 1

He smiled before calling some people (maids ?) to deliver the hot drink. She couldn't help but to secretly eye the man. His long features did nothing to tarnish the beautiful work of art that were his lashes, and while his demaneor left her a feeling of danger she couldn't quite place, he was most definitely perfect.

The most tiny tinge of pride swelled in her chest. Calm down, brain. Gotta retrieve those memories.

She shook her head and lightly tapped her cheeks, jumping up and down on the futon in a valiant attempt at a warm-up. She then turned her eyes to the bundle of clothes in the man's grip. She grabbed it with two fingers, eyeing it suspiciously until she noticed the peculiar seam on the lining of the sleeve.

Oh. She smiled. She usually didn't sew for herself, but that was unquestionably of her making. She brought it to her nose to inhale it.

Gun powder. Sake. It smelled just like him. But also ... spices ? Grilled meat ?

Pictures flashed in her mind at the scent. An unique blue-hued eye, a devastatingly inviting smile, a wet sketch of her doing, a pair of silver scissors cutting a piece of blue fabric, a sword hilt, the flash of an iron blade ... Yeah ... She wasn't sure she wanted to look more into those memories.

She shrugged it all off and slid into the kimono. The softness of the fabric made her shiver. I did a really good job with this one.

Meanwhile, he was still observing her with a smile.

She looked suspiciously at him and confirmed in the safety of her mind that he was no angel. Nope. Not an ounce of innocence leaked from him.

The gorgeously dangerous (or more like dangerously gorgeous) man still insisted to star at her with this thin, mischievously venomous smile, something that moved things in her belly for reasons she couldn't explain.

Dangerous men had always attracted her but that one, she felt, was on a whole new level of suspicious-aura-emission. And- well, she already attracted enough trouble on her own without dipping into crazy stuff like yakuza dating or god knew what else.

If she really had been living in the ... the past ... for two- two!- wholly full months ... which was hard to believe to begin with (yet she somehow felt it was true) ... then who knew what could happen to her ? She did a quick calculation and determined she had landed in the warring states period. Great. How very safe. As for the location ... he had mentioned a shrine ..?

Honno- Ji, huh ? ... Wait ... Honno-Ji ... burning shrine ... 1582 ... saving someone's life ... Lord and ruler...

"-Holy socks ! I didn't save Oda Nobunaga from that fire, didn't I ? He's dead, right ?" she practically begged.

"- Oh, did you get those memories back ? That went quicker than I expected.

- Nah, I still need caffeine for that. But ! Did I really saved him ?" she pleaded with puppy eyes.

"-I am afraid you did.

- Oh, great", she dropped, rolling her eyes and raising her arms in resignation. "Of all the people to stumble on in this time period I had to meet THAT ONE. I mean, there's got to be a good thousand souls just 3 miles around, right ? But noooooo, I had to go and save the one that wasn't meant to live. God, ain't I the lucky one, what did I do to deserve this ?”, she pestered. “Wait. I didn't alterate anything in the future, right ? Oh, good gracious, am I even real ?"

She scanned herself, turning around on the spot, seeking any traces of a starting disappearance. She mumbled something about “Marty" getting transparent after messing with his parents' meeting in the past.

"- All clear", she sighed in relief as she didn't noticed anything odd with her skin tone.

"- Are you done ? Tea is ready."

She pulled out her tongue but settled at the table by him, gathering expertly her hair in a loose high bun.

"-I guess tea's as good as coffee for bad mornings", she shrugged while taking a sip. "Oooh. It's good! I'm usually not a tea person but I could get used to that ! Thanks, mister whatever-your-name-may-be.

- My pleasure. Oh, but where are my manners ? My name is Akechi Mitsuhide, senior retainer of Oda Nobunaga. Honoured to make your acquaintance. Again."

He chuckled lightly. She got the weird impression the joke was on her. But she knew that name. Not only had she heard it from Taikutsu-sensei's mouth, her late history teacher, but she was familiar with it. His face, voice, demeanor and now, she realised, his name.

"- ... M-mi-tsu ..?"

The nickname escaped her lips as she squinted her eyes, lost into her thoughts. She lightly moved her head to the side while observing his figure.

"- So", she went on, gathering herself again, "you're nobility. Isn't it comfy” she snickered. “And how, in the seven hells, did I end up with you ? Not only are you the shadiest guy I've met (also the hottest but that's a whole other story all together), and I've met my bunch of shady guys, you're Akechi Mitsuhide, someone who, if I have to believe my old history books, isn't the most reliable individual of the time period", she said, raising an accusing index. "Someone. I. Should. Avoid. I know, I'm not good at avoiding bad guys, but I must admit I disappoint myself on this one.

- How rude."

Mitsuhide's smile was still on, but his eyes had frozen. At this sight, something in her head, a voice, shrieked that she was wrong, wrong, wrong, he wasn't bad, he had a beautiful soul.

She found it hard to believe in, even considering it was her own thoughts. But there again, she had never been the most liable person on Earth. So why should she trust herself ?

Yet, she felt, in the distant haze of her mind, a soft laugh more affectionate than she had ever heard, a brush of lips lighter than a feather, words of love warmer than the brightest star.

She stole a sideways glance at his face resting in his palm. The smirk. Ugh. Ugh. She had sighed two times inside the privacy of her head and that was no good. She was also pretty sure the second was italicized. Why was she like this when she was drunk ? What had she done ? Why was she like this on the mornings ? Though it usually wasn't as strange. But the feeling of being back at home but not quite hit her with more strength than she calculated. It was like being stripped between two worlds, but not belonging in any of them. Like adding melted chocolate to your milk but you don't like milk chocolate.

She took another sip of tea. The fog was still not dispersing.

And he didn't seem like initiating the conversation.

"Talk to me”, she let slip out of nowhere when she figured she couldn't handle the silence anymore.  

“- Why.

- Cold. But I actually have a reason beside the awkwardness of the silence, and which I am going to find before finishing this sentence and - … there it is : it will help me retrieve my lost memories with a shorter delay" she said without helping but taking a haughty butler’s voice.

The familiar headache was pointing in her forehead.

" - That seems like a fair and thoroughly thought reason enough. Um. Alright. If you promise to become my slave in exchange for your life, I could tell you about the latest plot to take Milord's life.

- Boring. I read about it in my middle school books.

- ... Which I am not involved in.

- Oh. By all means, carry on.

- No, I'll pass. Was it surprise in your voice ?

- No ... Yes."

~

He was too afraid to discover that she knew everything about the future attempts on his Lord's life to tell her, but also wise enough not to say it aloud. For some reasons, this morning, his teasing rebounded against her like flat rocks on water.

"- You could talk about you and me. Are we married ? That would be awesome, I always wanted to be some kind of Lady. Powerful, you know, but not too girly, because I wouldn't have time for it, I'd be like a stone cold ice statue of sarcasm. Haughty and sneery and salty. Sorry. I went too far." She was surprisingly open about herself. He didn't know she had ever been this outspoken. The shy yet strong woman he found in this burning building had more layers than expected. He couldn't help but be a bit shocked at this sudden change, and he was trying hard not to dwell on it. She had always been a different woman, that he knew. Still, he didn't recall her being so boldly and openly impudent before.

~

She was waiting for a clever answer that wasn't coming. She liked this aspect of him; he was like the embodiment of bitterness, a trait she had never seen as emphasized in a man before. She didn't dislike it. But he was silent. Almost thoughtful. With clouds swirling like a brewing storm behind his eyes.

"Oh, why, I can talk about this, Princess. In all honesty, your quite the little bundle of trouble. You're making it so easy to use you it's almost funny, really. At first, you were such a handful. Entertaining, certainly, but tiring in a way. Like a pet. Yet, I couldn't imagine being apart from you, by now. Though you'd benefit in staying away. Alas, I am a selfish man, with selfish desires. "

His lips fluttered in a sad smile, the gesture finally reaching his eyes. The look of fondness his golden gaze displayed caught her off guard.

Oh.

She remained silent, truly stunned for the first time since she woke up. He had managed to avoid speaking words of affection with precision and to brush the rest off with a light, joking tone but the global idea was very much clear.

That man was in love with her. That was slightly panicking. And also sweet. Like a warm bath. Soapy and foaming. Wrapping around her, sharing its warmth with her body.

She didn't know how to react.

"- Oh. Right."

That was the worst answer to a declaration of love, ever, even with the excuse of the vagueness of the said declaration.

She didn't really feel guilty. He didn't resent her. Hopefully.

But now, she didn't know what to do. She had never been good at dealing with emotions. Time travel was a pain, but romantic intrigues in the past may just revel to be the level above. The whole situation was getting out of control.

She feigned another gulp of tea but there was really nothing left in the cup.

Note : I have no idea where this is going. Either way, Part 3's coming up eventually (when and if I ever get through those damn final exams unscathed)

[loopmasu]

Why i love Goro Akechi (BIG SPOILERS)

i see alot hate towards my favorite pancake boi and as he did attempt murdering the MC and his whole redemption was forced and a little bit rushed, but Akechi is a great character and this is why i personally love him.

what people have to understand about his backstory is that ITS VERY SAD He lost the one person that was suppose to love him unconditionally at a very early age living at least ten years of his life without a mother.

Its hard to talk about but as someone who's grown up with a suicidal and depressed mother that has actually attempted suicide i empathize with Akechi aloot, I've often thought how would my life would be without her, and i too like Akechi would one, blame myself for being a burden, and two, blame the world for driving my mother to suicide (in my case it would be bad boyfriends, idle family members that have stood by and let her suffer and corporations that have fired her even though shes an excellent worker. Unlike Akechi, i have a pretty positive relationship with my father.) fortunately my mother has decided to live on but if i lost her there would be absolutely no one to help me. (either than my father who i barley know but still have a good relationship with) there would be no friends that would take me in and let them live with them, my family members would probably give me the same treatment they gave my mother when she was suffering and ignore me (much like how Futaba's siblings treat her once her mother allegedly committed suicide, if it wasn't for Sojiro AKA BEST-DAD, best girl would live a horrible life with her uncle and eventually succumb to her sadness)

I've thought extensively of how my life would turn out if my mother ever lost to depression and i thank god she hasn't. Unfortunately for my fav pancake boi, this was not the case. His mother gave in to the depression and took her own life leaving Goro as a child on his very own (Akechi's case being much worse than mine since i don't really know any other family members of his either than Shido... and yea....Shido definitely inst father of the year) Goro had to live his whole life By himself, no came to his rescue and no friends were there to support him and reach out to the truth. the suicide of his mother has had a huge impact on his mental well being (much like it did for Futaba), if the one person who was suppose to always be there for you and help you grow just left, and by there own hands, it would cause your mental state to skew as well.

Now since Akechi has lived his whole life depending on no one but himself because there has been no one there for him, its perfectly understandable for him to be cynical of others and unwilling to make connections, especially with joker, who has everything Akechi's ever wanted and more. i say unwilling because while Akechi would love nothing more than to be BFFS with joker and the rest of the thieves, this would mean acknowledging the fact that he has been living in an unsightly manner. i believe Akechi's biggest conflict is with himself, as he wants nothing more than to avenge his mother and goes to the ends of the earth to do so even becoming his father's assassin to secure a way into his life, but he also wants the love and recognition hes never gotten from having friends or loving family members, these are two things Akechi cant have in his perspective so he has to hide one side to get the other and vice versa (i guess that's why he has Robin Hood representing his need for recognition and Loki to represent his need for vengeance by any means). He has to hide the fact he is a killer and has done awful things to accomplish his objective in order to gain recognition from others without being seen as mad and he has to hide the fact he wants recognition and love from others to justify his means for vengeance. BUT a big yellow cup gives this broken mind a means to have both of his dreams by giving him access to the metaverse AND a persona. with this Akechi's will to gain both of his objectives is fortified and there is no going back, he pledges himself to revenge while gaining respect all own his own, No morgana to help guide and tutor him, no teamates to empathize with and form bonds with, just a a shithead father who you want personally thrust into a living hell, while also being seen as useful by said shithead.

What i believe began to make Akechi go mad was his jealousy/ friendship with joker. Joker has Friends there for him when he needs them, alive parents that may have sent him away but are still gonna take him back come march, a great positive male role model that is best-dad, and is still a rebel that gets revenge on his enemies in his own way ( a much more efficient way). Joker has all these things despite the bad reputation he has and as we've seen this infuriates Akechi who has believed he only needs himself for over ten years now. while Akechi's relationship with Akira grows he becomes more and more close and willing to open up, but this is all while knowing that Akira poses a threat to his power trip and delusional mindstate. accepting Jokers friendship and joining the phantom thieves meant acknowledging his way of life as wrong, so yes while he was growing closer to Joker he also had to harbor animosity towards him as well ( this may explain his smile as he murders his only friend who he perceives as his enemy at the moment because to think otherwise would mean to acknowledging he is in fact wrong, so he forces himself to believe his actions are just)

The failed assassination of Joker was not only a hindrance to his ultimate goal of revenge but meant once again having to question his own way of life after believing he had just validated it by defeating someone he secretly wanted to be friends with. by the point of the shido palace THERE IS TRULY NO GOING BACK FOR GORO the election is about to take place and shido is on his way to victory, any thing in his way was perceived gone, sure it caused him a lot of pain to get there but his master plan is days from fruition, THEN HE FIGURES IT OUT , joker isnt dead and their now attempting to accomplish something goro has literally been killing people to do.THIS is why akechi begins to lose it in the ship, because Joker literally has found a way to do everything he hasn't been able to but simply can not accept it, which is why he gets edgy AF.

So you fight it out with Akechi and he finally begins to accept you, your friendship, and your way of life, he then gives his own life (being suicidal and having depression is hereditary so its probably not the first time akechis thought of ending his own life) and your dreams become one (tears). in the end i guess this or serving time in prison would have been the only things left for Akechi ( which i would have liked to see, one thing i can never forgive Akechi for is killing wakaba, if you hate the world because it killed your mother why would you literally do the exact same thing to Futaba? cmon Goro) BUUUUT i would've really loved if Akechi was the main villain and continued rejecting the phantom thieves (kinda like part 7 DIO, part 7 DIO also has this sad backstory but he remains a villain all the way through doing anything in his power to win the steel ball run race to find his father that abandoned him and his mother) idk he felt like a more complex villain than Shido. He was also a wild card persona user that was a rival to Akira... yea, so much wasted potential. ALSO IM CALLING IT NOW AKECHI TRICKED THE PHANTOM THIEVES/ THE WORLD AND ISNT REALLY DEAD, HE IS A TRICKSTER AS WELL.

anyway these are the reasons i absolutely love Goro as character despite his clear flaws, i think he is one of the most complex phantom thieves and will always be my favorite pancake thanks for reading this long rant of mine.

[phin-dicated]

Why I’m Angry About Akechi (spoilers)

I beat Persona 5 the other day and I’ve been doing nothing but stewing over the details and little things that bothered me. Yes, it was a fantastic game. But I’m going to delve into one specific issue that bothered me; Goro Akechi. Spoilers below, proceed at your own risk.

So I’ll be honest, I went through a wide range of emotions concerning this character. I liked him from the get-go, didn’t trust him at all, secretly hated Atlus that yet another hot guy had been shoved in my hetero-protag’s face and ultimately sobbed hysterically over his story. I haven’t been this invested since Aerith died, dead god.

But let’s talk about what pissed me, and hopefully you, off about this maniac. Akechi was a foil to Akira, we all know this. His whole purpose was to be a mirrored image of Akira’s recklessness and how it’s held without a support structure. That’s fine, and it was done well. His entire battle scene is just one long self-doubt, self-hate drawn out madness that made me want to curl into a ball and die. Was Akechi a good person? Not really. Did he do terrible things? Absolutely. Was he in his right mind through most of it? Most signs point to no. Am I going to tell you he did no wrong? No, he most certainly did, but it’s a little more complex than that.

So my first beef comes with the discussion that Akechi was, in fact, mentally ill. It isn’t that hard to see, especially if you wander through your NG+ and pay attention. The kid was raised specifically to become what he was thanks to some dumbass god with a gambling problem. He goes through the entire game alone, only being shown with people in regard to his popularity, or lack there of. We don’t know at the time, but Akechi is hiding everything about himself to everyone around him. The only time we see him actually speaking with someone genuinely (as close as you can get) is Akira. He seems to only open up when it comes to Akira. I can’t even imagine the sheer amount of loneliness this child must have endured BEFORE his run in with Shido, much less after, but I have to wonder if Akechi didn’t see parts of his own personality in Akira.

And then we do what we do to every single mentally ill character in anything ever; we freaking kill them.

Now, normally this wouldn’t even be an issue for me. Characters die in games all the time, only those deaths typically seem to MEAN something. Aerith’s death causes Cloud to move forward and become a better person (if not getting lost a little on the way), Shinji’s death in 3 helped build characters, especially Akihiko, and help them grow as people. Akechi’s? Well it made for a good cry fest.

My second issue with Akechi is how poorly his character was handled. He was written so interestingly and all of that went to waste in a mere moment. I was fine with his entire scene, the battle, everything I could choose. It was very interesting to have options that made Akira reach for Akechi, or tell him he’d be okay. Your party’s interactions were great, just EVERYTHING WAS FINE UNTIL THAT GODDAMN COGNITION SHOWED UP.

I’m sorry, but it is bad enough that you have this character struggling with himself and the horrible things he’s done, trying to understand why these people WHO HE’S BETRAYED and even SHOT IN THE FACE would want him around, and then you go and have him shoot himself?? That line “You’re all beyond my comprehension?” Yea from a life of solitude and rejection that’d be out of my comprehension too. But c’mon Atlus. You do not show a mentally ill person, struggling with their own inner issues, lose to themselves. You don’t, you just, like that is a LEGITIMATE fear among people. Now you could argue that he won in the end, sure. But people, he died. He still got shot by something that looked like him, sounded like him and said the meanest words he was probably thinking himself. And he died.

I was so angry and I can’t stop being angry about it because none of it made any sense to me. His death doesn’t prove anything, it doesn’t help anyone grow, it doesn’t even tie up loose strings. It just happens and it’s gone. Just like Akechi. I figured that would change as the game went on but oh ho ho was I wrong. Not only is he barely ever mentioned again, no one even acknowledges his death outside of the party. Sae mentions he’s disappeared at one point which you can’t respond to unless you’re like me and you’re screaming at the television because apparently no one in this game has the common decency to say he flippin died. Oh wait, I guess it wouldn’t matter right? Who would they tell? Not like he had a family or friends. Ouch. I hope you’re hurting as much as I am.

Another point: You can’t possibly expect me to believe that Akira wouldn’t have summoned (insert strength Persona here) to knock that wall down and rescue Goro’s sorry ass. Akria is just as reckless and had it been anyone else in there he’d have caught the whole damn place on fire. You can’t tell me he just stood there with his hands in his pockets like “Yea okay.” Because Akechi wasn’t his teammate, but he damn well could have been. That’s not Akira’s justice.

Akechi’s death irritated the ever-loving shit out of me because it doesn’t do anything. He died to tug on your heart strings, or not, because I guess you could hate him for being a douche the whole game? So then it proves even less for those people. I thought that his story, the fact that he was also a wild card holder, would become important for end game and it just wasn’t. I thought I’d see some remnant of him, even a freaking death imagine, at the end since he was a maxed social link, but nothing.

Overall, in my opinion, Atlus dropped the ball with this character who had, dare I say it, infinite potential. But that, again, is just my opinion.