#{just in case Francis ever forgets}

[worldheadcanons]

Could you do the allies confessing to their crush? Something super fluffy ｡◕‿◕｡

☆ the allies: confessing to their crush!

starring. . . gender neutral, country! reader and england, america, france, china, + russia. warning for brief mentions of gore + murder (horror movie stuff) under russia’s part.

author notes; i wrote some of this on a plane at 3 am and i’m sorry if it shows through. live laugh love country!reader concepts. I know it wasn’t apart of the original ask but it felt necessary (i wanted to add it).

arthur kirkland!

— when he first fell for you, he had tried to ignore his feelings. so what if his heart skipped a beat whenever you complimented his proposals? you were just coworkers. just two people who attended the same meetings, talked often after said meetings, made coffee for each other, smiled and laughed together... just two coworkers. that’s all you ever were and all you ever would be. at least, that’s what kirkland thought at first.

— obviously, the ‘ignore and forget’ method didn’t work out for him. after a week or so he woke up and smelled the roses, realizing that his feelings weren’t going anywhere. arthur started to try and flirt with you at the office, complimenting your outfits and holding every door he could for you. francis never failed to tease him over his attempts at wooing you.

— he went on for weeks, lightly flirting and pining over you. kirkland could be cowardly when it came to affairs of the heart. he was never a romantic man, even when he was an empire. he feared your rejection more than anything, refusing to take you out on a date even though he spoke of you all the time. during a meeting one day, francis glanced from the englishman to you and then back at him. when you were out of earshot the frenchman whispered to arthur that if he didn’t grow up and ask you out, bonnefoy would ask you out instead. he couldn’t be sure if it was a joke or not, but there was no way in hell he’d let francis ask you out. the mere possibility of it kicked kirkland into gear. after the meeting had been dismissed, he pulled you to the side. 

— he gently took your hands into his, as if he was about to say his vows. “y/n, i’ve been interested in you for quite some time,” arthur began, one hand going to the back of his neck as his gaze turned downwards. “i was wondering if we could meet up somewhere.. for a date, i mean.” it was awkward and slightly uncomfortable for him, but for you this was a dream come true. all this time he had scarcely noticed that you had been flirting back at him. you’d laugh a little too much at his stupid, sarcastic jokes. you'd find various excuses to talk to him directly during general meetings. you had picked up on his flirting early on and quickly reciprocated. every doubt about your feelings existed only in his mind.

— “i’d love that, arthur. how about some food from my country? i know this place that i think you’ll like,” you replied, smiling at the man in front of you. you brushed your thumbs across his knuckles. arthur grinned at your response, cheeks flushed pink. there you were, holding hands in the dim corner of an office corridor… and it felt like heaven, really. the two of you made plans to go out the same night, eager to spend time together outside of the office. 

— perhaps francis, being the country of love, had noticed the relationship issues you two were having. perhaps he had simply just wanted to bother the british man. either way, you made a note to yourself to thank him for his involvement in getting you two together.

alfred f. jones!

— classic case of ‘they fell first but he fell harder’. much harder. you had a huge crush on him previously. looking back, it wasn’t too foolish. you were a relatively smaller country and even though you weren’t new, you were still getting your bearings down. you were a beginner in many aspects and yet here he was, this grand country with lots of power and influence. you couldn’t help but fall for alfred. he was the american dream, literally. and the thing was, he was younger than you! 

— your crush was completely innocent, albeit a bit embarrassing. jones didn’t even notice it until matthew pointed out to him. at the time, he didn’t feel the same way. he wasn’t cruel, but he did let you know that he didn’t reciprocate those feelings. he didn’t want to lead you on, is all. your feelings didn’t die out but you decided not to act on them. things between the two of you evened our after that. months later, though, alfred started to look at you in a more.. romantic.. light. when you would talk to other powers like arthur or especially ivan, he’d feel.. oddly jealous. when you’d ask about his proposals his heart would beat faster while he answered. whenever he made you laugh, he’d feel like the luckiest man alive… yea, he had fallen flat on his face in love with you.

— once he realized he was in love, he began to flirt. jones wasn’t exactly the most subtle of flirts. the whole point of flirting was to catch attention, wasn’t it? so that’s what he did. he went out of his way to help you whenever he could, flashing you a charming grin as he did so. once he got an opportunity to show off his muscles, something he was happy about. he even ended up letting you touch them. alfred had no issue asking you out to lunch, sneakily taking your hand into his as he leads you to some cool, new lunch spot he’s been hearing about. 

— his only issue was the fact that he’d rejected you before.. he worried that you were no longer interested. jones knew that you liked him as a person, otherwise you wouldn’t have hung out with him like you have been for the past few weeks. he just couldn’t be sure. still, he really liked you. after a bit of internal debate, he decided to just ask you out. it couldn’t hurt, really. the worst you could say was no. no risk, no reward. alfred tried to keep those thoughts in mind as he ate with you on your now routine lunch break dates. well.. not real a date, but the idea was there.

— “so, y/n,” he began, eating some fries before continuing on, “what would you say.. if a certain hero, not naming names.. wanted to ask you out on a date sometime. if this hero asked you out for dinner and dancing on.. say saturday? would you say yes?” jones offered you a smile. it was slightly sheepish but mostly cute. his boyish charm worked to his advantage, making your heart melt. he was like a human puppy.

—  you chuckled before replying, “i would say yes. but he’s paying for the full thing.” he pouted at that but you were stubborn with your terms. it was the least he could do considering how long he had you pining after him!

francis bonnefoy!

— your country and his were in the middle of making major economic deals. you had lots of resources and bonnefoy seemed to want them. it was for that reason and that reason only that you had ever given the man your phone number. you were hoping to discuss things in detail over the phone. unfortunately, francis seemed to call you to talk about everything but proper terms to your proposed deal. he’d always ask about your day first before launching into his own day and giving you a play by play on every event he found significant. it was frustrating, however, since you were a smaller country you couldn’t exactly force him into thinking about work.

— you were well aware that on the other side of the line, bonnefoy would be laid in bed, twirling his hair and kicking his feet. his love for you was a love meant for youth. it was freeing, feeling this sort of love at his age. he felt giggly just hearing your voice, despite the fact that you mostly gave one word responses to him. he was, as alfred and matthew liked to put it, whipped. he was whipped for you. other countries started to pick up on this fact, realizing that he barely flirted with anyone anymore. francis only ever spoke of you, a lovesick smile on his face as he did so. you were aware of his feelings but no one was aware of yours. you had grown fond of the frenchman’s personality, occasionally finding yourself smiling and when you heard his voice on the phone.

— he had to ask you out and confess his undying love. he just had to. he couldn’t call himself the country of love if he didn’t. so he called you up in the morning one day, asking you to come over for dinner. at first, you refused to budge, claiming it to be a waste of time. however, once bonnefoy promised to read over your proposals, you sung a different tune. a free dinner couldn’t hurt. plus, it would be nice to taste the man’s cooking. you’d heard from your neighboring countries that he was a great chef. 

— so, that’s how you ended up in francis’ dining room that evening. you had brought a stack of legal papers to go through but they remained tucked away in your bag. you didn’t want any sort of mess to get on them. he set down a crisp white napkin over your lap before bringing the food. it smelled divine as he brought it out, something you didn’t neglect to comment on. once bonnefoy sat down you picked up your fork and eagerly began eating, humming in satisfaction at the taste. noticing your joy, he smiled. the frenchman commenced conversation with the same question he always asked. ‘how was your day?’. you answered with a short, ‘good’. then he sighed, rather dramatically in your opinion. 

— “i cannot hide it anymore, ma cheri*. i am in love with you! i love you as the tides love the moon and bees love honey. i need you more than i could ever want you and i already want you for all time! i spend my days yearning for your touch and—“ francis went on, proudly declaring his love to you. he probably would’ve kept going if you hadn’t cut him off with the sound of your laughter. you tried to keep yourself formal but you eventually ended up full on snort-laughing.

— “you were trying to hide it? bonnefoy, i could hear you giggling over the phone. it was never that much of a secret.” 

— he gasped. “i pour my heart out to you and this is how you respond?” he exclaimed, one hand going to his chest to cover his heart. “you’re so cruel!”

— “oh please. you like it,” you replied knowingly, taking another bite of your food. this was your way of reciprocating his feelings without actually saying you liked him. you were sure if you did say it outright he’d get a big head about it, something you didn’t want to deal with. 

— he chuckled a little, nodding his head in agreement. “i do.” he finished his meal and wiped his mouth before speaking. he then did something that made your heart flutter. he smiled at you and then said, “let‘s go over those proposals.” finally the work would get done. how romantic.

yao wang!

— the two of you were already close friends. it started a long while ago when you came to work completely dejected. when asked about it, you immediately spilled about your most recent breakup. instead of telling you his honest feelings about how tragically, humans and personifications could never truly be together, wang held you close and reassured you that your true love was her to be found. humans were plentiful. you were a capable person, smart too. you’d find someone to connect with. at the time you were a smaller country, so you were in awe that a power such as him would bother comforting you. 

— now though, you were a bigger country with more resources. you produced a lot of oil, so many other countries were interested in discussing things with you. you couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times you’ve had to reject invitations from countries like arthur or francis. the same countries that wouldn’t give you a second thought when you were younger. were now desperate to get on your good side. yao remained a good friend of yours, someone who was genuine with you. the two of you had both grown in many ways. one way you hadn’t grown, though, was in romance.

— you sighed dramatically as you plopped down onto wang’s couch. you had invited yourself over and as soon as he saw your face, he knew he was in for a long night. he idly handed you a small tub of your favorite ice cream and a spoon, humming as he flipped through the television channels to find something appropriate. yao kept a small supply of your favorite foods ever since he’d given you a key to his place. you took a huge scoop and stuck it in your mouth, stretching out so that your head was in his lap. 

— “i just don’t know what i’m doing wrong!” you exclaimed after eating the scoop. the relationship had lasted barely three months. “he said i was ‘nice’ but ‘emotionally absent’. bullshit! i gave him my heart, you know?” sure, you had avoided him a few times and maybe you weren’t the most.. there.. all the time.. it’s not like you liked someone else though! you were dating him!

— you had started to tear up and wang simply wiped away your tears. “you do deserve better,” he murmured. he let you sit for a while, gently comforting you as you cried and ate. after you had settled a bit, finishing your tub of ice cream, yao quietly asked you a question. “have you ever considered… dating another country?”

— “nope,” you sighed out, “when i was younger it seemed unrealistic. no countries really paid attention to me. now if they talk to me they’re only after my oil.” you looked up at him from where you were in his lap, his honey brown eyes looking back at you with the same amount of interest.

— he nodded his head gently in understanding before curtly replying with a sly smile.. “not me.”

— “you’re right, not you.. but you’re not interested in me.”

— “but i am,” wang replied softly. one hand of his went to run through your hair. it was a familiar action but it had different connotations now. connotations you didn’t particularly dislike.. connotations you.. maybe were fond of. your heart swelled at the thoughts you were having. maybe you’d liked him the whole time and just didn’t think in it— it would surely explain why your ex said you weren’t emotionally engaged.

— “you are?” you asked just to confirm what you already knew. your face had turned slightly red by this point. 

— “i am,” he repeated, chuckling softly at your reaction. not the smoothest confession he’d given but really, he couldn’t bare to see you date another human, another person in general. he wanted to be your next and final boyfriend. it’s not a sudden feeling for yao. it’s one that silently had built up over the years.. a feeling that he was sharing with you now.

— “why didn’t you say so sooner? i could’ve avoided so many break ups!” you exclaimed out after a few moments of quiet. he shrugged playfully before leaning down to kiss your nose. “you owe me so much! you know how many shitty guys i’ve dated! how long have you liked me?” you questioned him and he only laughed, shaking his head. “ugh yao! you’re lucky you’re cute!”

ivan braginsky!

— you and mr. braginsky had never been truly close. he was your northern neighbor, sure, but you had barely spoken to the man up until a few months ago at a meeting. he had proposed some sort of idea and, though he was a power, barely anyone payed attention to it. however, once you, a medium sized country with valuable military resources, co-signed on the idea, people seemed to pay attention more. it wasn’t an immediate yes to his proposal but it was better than being ignored. you couldn’t be bothered now to remember the details but ever since then the two of you had grown into an odd pair of friends, even going as far as to meet up outside of work.

— it was obvious to everyone else that he liked you. somehow you never managed to catch on, despite his best efforts. others would hint at it to you but you never connected the dots. you were far too focused all the work that being a country naturally entailed— it was admirable but at the same time, unfortunate, considering you also harbored a crush on him. the two of you simply never spoke about it so it was unrequited in both of your minds. ivan decided that day that he’d take you out to a horror slasher movie late after work. it was a movie he had been wanting to see for a while. plus, according to the internet, blood and guts made people feel all.. kissey. he wasn’t sure if that was true or not though.

— though you found ghostface hot, you didn’t particularly enjoy the horror genre outside of that. still, you decided to say yes to his invitation and accompany him to the movies that night. braginsky picked you up from your house as he often did. when you arrived, he held your hand in his as you both walked in and purchased tickets. you were able to score good seats in the back, something that made you grin. you bought the popcorn and he bought the drinks, effectively splitting the bill.

— the movie began and, really, it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. it was worse. you jumped a lot, clinging onto ivan’s arm and shoving more popcorn into your mouth as the protagonist watched her friend get sawed in half. every time you squeezed his arm, you’d half-glance over at him and apologize under your breath. it was terrifying but you couldn’t look away!

— there was a part in the movie where the protaganist’s boyfriend got ruthlessly killed by a chainsaw. you held onto him closely during this part, shrinking into your chair. ivan kept his focus on the screen but gently patted your head, “if it was me and you, i’d never get killed. i’d be there for you.”

— “how romantic,” you said almost sarcastically, chuckling. your laughter had nervous undertones. “save that for your girlfriend.”

— “i don’t have a girlfriend,” he replied quietly. things went silent for a few moments, save for the sounds of the movie, before he spoke up again. “i’d like to have you, though. we’d make a great couple.”

— you turned your head away from the sceeen, completely missing the part where the protagonist found out the identity of the serial killer that was after her. instead of watching the movie, you looked up at ivan who looked down at you with a small, awkward smile. you asked him if he had just asked you out. he nodded in response. you asked him if he meant it. again, he nodded. you finally asked him if he wanted to kiss. he eagerly nodded on that.

— the two of you kissed in the back of the move theater, not minding the fact that both of you were missing the movie ending. the kisses weren’t passionate but rather childish, as if you were simply getting acquainted to each other’s lips. it was dark and you two were quiet for the most part, so you wouldn’t disturb anyone. every other couple was probably kissing anyways. ivan supposed it was true. something about blood and guts really did make people kissey.

[olympeline]

FrUK FACE family Parent Trap AU, part 7! Part 1

So, Alfred and Matthew made a successful switcheroo and are now living with their other respective dads. The first few days for both of them just pass in a whirlwind of new experiences: new sights, new sounds, new smells, new surroundings. Alfred and Mattie struggle to take it all in, but in a good way. And, of course, at the centre of it all is Francis and Arthur. It’s tricky being around them because the twins want to get to know them so badly but they can’t act like it because that would be weird. Alfred in particular has to dash out of the house to go run around with Mr. Kumajiro a couple of times because the need was getting too much. Francis notices “Mattie” has become more energetic, but accepts Alfred’s excuse that he got really into sports at camp. It’s not such a stretch since Matthew has always been outdoorsy anyway and Francis puts it down to his little boy growing up. Wine, misty eyes, and a long purusing of their family photo album once Alfred has gone to bed that night. Francis may be a suburban dad now with a mortgage and PTA meetings, but he sees no point in life if one can’t be dramatic every once in a while ;)

Then, Summer is over, and the twins have to go back to school. Alfred to Matthew’s fancy private school, and Matthew to Alfred’s normal NYC public school. Alfred puts on his uniform (urgh, monkey suit! Didn’t his dad used to wear something like this?) and is surprised when Francis drives him to school rather than let him walk or get the bus. The school is pretty close, but Francis does it anyway. He’s chill about things like Alfred’s earring, but then pivots and is overprotective about stuff like Matthew getting to school alone. Weird. Meanwhile, Mattie braces himself for the journey on the subway. Arthur is generally stricter than Francis, but he trusts “Alfred” to make his own way to school right through the heart of New York? Weird.

School for both of them goes about as well as it could. Alfred has a lot of friends and Mattie is immediately swept up in their hustle and bustle. Acting up in class pains him, but he has to do it to maintain the illusion. Alfred isn’t a bad kid, but he is a loud and energetic one. Matthew does his best (cringing inside) but his teachers still comment on his good behaviour. Mattie is worried…until he goes home and sees how pleased Arthur is. The teacher messaged him and Arthur couldn’t be prouder “Alfred” is taking school more seriously. Mattie can’t feel too bad about it then. Not after seeing his dad smile. Until Arthur bakes them some cakes to celebrate.

It’s a curse, Mattie thinks to himself as he struggles to chew through the charcoal without his eyes watering. A satanic curse. It must be, eh?

Meanwhile, Alfred does his best to keep up his Mattie act in his new “ooh, la, la” (his words) private school environment. Matthew is a model student, behaviour wise, and warned Alfred that he can’t get in trouble even a little or people will suspect. This is not easy for Alfred. Even less because Matthew is also a loner, so he has noone to help distract him from the boredom. It’s not that the other kids dislike Matthew, rather they just don’t seem to notice him. The teachers appreciate how well behaved he is but they also tend to forget he exists. Again, extremely not easy for extroverted, vivacious Alfred. He can’t keep his exuberance fully under control and it’s a shocker moment for the class when their geography teacher has to tell Matthew Bonnefoy to pay attention for the first time ever(!) Haha, oops. At least they didn’t call Francis. Yet.

The twins have kept in contact and message each other frequently for hints and tips, and (in Alfred’s case) reminders about French vocabulary. They have a long talk about school after the first week and Mattie is irritated and stung when Alfred thoughtlessly comments on his lack of friends. Matthew snipes back about how happy Arthur was when the teacher complimented “Alfred” on his behaviour. Something which gets to Alfred more than he likes to admit. The boys end their talk early that night and both go to bed feeling ruffled.

The next morning when Matthew wakes up, he comes down to breakfast (🥲) as usual. Only to freeze in the kitchen doorway when he sees who’s making it. Arthur is sitting at the table, reading the paper news he still refuses to trade in for an app. At the stove, cooking omlettes that actually smell good, is:

“Buenos días, Al! You want two eggs or three?”

Mattie recognizes the handsone spaniard from the pictures Alfred showed him. His work trip done, Tony is back.

(Life has been busy so here’s a shorter update. Hope you enjoyed! Stay tuned for part 8 (´ε｀ )♡)

[rosesforyourproses]

I think I have finally understood what Camilla meant when she said she loves Henry and rejected Richard’s offer of marriage. I don’t think it has anything to do with romantic love but more or so about appreciation. Camilla will always appreciate Henry and everything he did for her if I look back at all the events that transpired in the book Camilla— very conveniently I might add— always isn’t in some way directly related or involved in the cases, especially during the murder that happened during the bacchanal where she just so happens to be sitting at a river with no blood whatsoever in her clothing.

The thing is that she’ll always remember him fondly, who loved her unconditionally, even if Camilla never romantically loved him, she appreciated him and was grateful. But one cannot say the same with the rest of them: Charles, Francis, and Richard. They loved Henry (minus Charles though) but like Camilla said to Richard, “it’s not enough”. If Camilla ever decided to say yes, it wouldn’t have worked out between them, she loves Henry and can’t say a bad thing about him but it’s a different thing with Richard, and why is that very important exactly? Well, if the person I love is quite fond of the person who practically made me a wreck, I wouldn’t be so delighted either.

It also seems she feels guilty about opening herself up to others now that she feels greatly indebted to Henry, she feels guilty about loving someone else and being with someone after everything that Henry did for her. I wouldn’t be surprised if Camilla loved Richard back but in all honesty it seems that Camilla is the one who “lacks empathy” compared to Richard or Henry. She always does things for her own gain (a trait mentioned by Francis as well, and I couldn’t blame him for thinking that way, I think that Camilla’s lack of presence in the book also symbolizes her role in their friendship and the transgression of all the events, she barely gets any scenes and dialogue because she barely involves herself in the first place even though technically she is, everyone in the group is suffering from the aftermath of ALL of their actions but she barely gets a share of the burden which I think is very powerful when remembering how Charles got “most of the share of the burden than he’s supposed to” and that’s because Camilla wasn’t willing to shoulder her responsibilities of being associated with them. Don’t forget about Henry rarely every using her as a chess piece either.)

Camilla is aware how convenient everything is are at her end and how everyone else in the group was depressed, addicted, and with severe social anxiety while she (although has suffered much because of Charles) is eating and sleeping peacefully (it greatly annoyed me how she and Henry were casually eating good food and drinking wine in one of the finest hotel in Vermont and both Richard and Francis was up all night and driving all day to find Charles). I guess rejecting Richard is a way of punishing herself for her selfishness. By the end of the book, Charles was claimed to be “happy” while Camilla isn’t. I also find it ironic how Camilla got shoved with the responsibility of taking care of their grandma while Charles simply left.

[brassandblue]

Who are your muses best friends?

Arthur's best friends are: @bertievi's George VI; @admiraltyspride's Lord Nelson; @ageofxail's Daniel/America (husband!!!), Noel/England & Royal Navy; my Jack/London; & @xbasilrp's Toni/Spain (spicy boyfriend).

Not quite besties but very close platonically (unless otherwise noted) are @terrorcaptain's Crozier (very father-son tbh); Thera at @therapardalis; Mycroft at @governmentofficial (also husband!); @hope-on-hope-ever's John Franklin (friends/colleagues in general but also estranged father and bastard son in THAT ONE AU); endearingly fond of @imprvdente's Fish; & Pris at @herstoriies

@honorhearted gets an honorable (ha!) mention because of how complicated Ben and Art's relationship is. Arthur admires Ben but also wants to punch him in the nose. Arthur enjoys punching things though, so take that with a whole spoon of salt. He genuinely wants the Americans to win and believes Ben to be a properly good man--part of the reason he razzes Ben like he does is because there's really no other way (in Art's opinion) to try and shake Ben out of seeing the war as a largely black and white problem. He sees a lot of himself in Ben--they are both educated, stubborn, hot-headed, and courageous in stupid ways, and they both have a heart. Arthur doesn't want to see America get its start as a country with all of the kindness burned out of all its founders. They are... complicated.

I don't like to go godmode people, but Art's "default" is that he is besties with Portugal, France, India, U.S. America. However, I handle that on a case-by-case basis because, again, it would be shitty of me to force that decision on other writers.

Goodsir's besties are: The Henry Collins that lives in my head; @tooxldtorememxer's John Irving; @herstoriies' Priscilla (big fat crush on her too tbh!!!!!); @therapardalis; @terrorcaptain; Silna at @tatteredxsails; @bertievi of course; he's also pretty close with @ageofxail's Noel; & @imprvdente's Fish; & he has........ complicated feelings about @honorhearted's Ben.

Thomas Blanky's besties are: @wantsusdead's Francis (I mean we just started threading but LISTEN-); oh also @terrorcaptain's Francis (+ husband); he's also super fond of @admiraltyspride too; can't forget about the Sidebear, thank u @tatteredxsails; & if I get my way he's going to continue to 'Dad' at @imprvdente!!!!!

The Railroad Man has no besties because he's an abject piece of sh oh wow, Moriarty actually!! @multipleoccupancy

[pretendingday]

"I was quick to want the world rid of its fools an hour ago, I forget sometimes how much an exemplar I am among them." "That’s not how I see you."

A fanmix about James Fitzjames and Francis Crozier from AMC’s The Terror. Chronological and mostly canon compliant.

Listen on Spotify

Keep reading for songs and motivations.

1. All The Old Showstoppers - The New Pornographers

"When John he saw the numbers he lied, made up the whole thing, failed when he tried" This song is about responsibility, good intentions, and failure. It feels like a good place to start. Also, (Sir) John sure did fail when he tried.

2. Get Famous - The Mountain Goats

"You’ve been waiting for this, ever since you’ve been young, be careful not to choke on your tongue" This song will always be JFJ's theme song to me. The tone of it also fits in with the "tell us about bird shit island, why don't you, James" energy.

3. French Exit - The Antlers

"I’m not a puppy you take home, don’t bother trying to fix my heart" Now, this one is about fighting. It's about the "there hasn't been a single meal we've shared, a single conversation, when you weren't morbing on about what you're due." It's about the "keep your pity."

4. Victorian Ice - Sea Power

"And you better keep moving before you get totally cold" They're victorians, on ice. That's all the motivation you need. Also the song is about communication issues and needing each other, so... I rest my case.

5. Not Dead Yet - Lord Huron

"You’re tired of me, I’m tired of you" This song is about self-hatred and alcoholism. But it's also about not being dead yet, so there's... hope? Maybe?

6. The Counterfeiter - Crooked Fingers

"You don’t belong here, your heart’s a fake, the ghosts who chose you were mistaken" James has imposter syndrome, part one.

7. Someone You’d Admire - Fleet Foxes

"One of them wants only to be someone you’d admire, one would as soon just throw you on the fire" Sometimes it's hard to change, and even harder to know whether you want to impress someone, or still hate their guts. I feel like this goes for both of them.

8. Straight and Tall - Iron & Wine

"Don’t tell me all the shit you’ve done, how you push your luck with everyone, ‘cause your mean upbringing’s left you a mess" James has imposter syndrome, part two, but this time Francis goes "that's not how I see you".

9. Your Rocky Spine - Great Lake Swimmers

"I was moving across your frozen veneer, the sky was dark but you were clear" Listen, it's about the metaphors. I can't explain it to you, it's just the vibes.

10. I’ll Be Your Girl - The Decemberists

"I could be your man, but I’d be that much more" It's gender time. Reading way too much into the dress scene is something that can be so personal.

11. After Those Who Mean It - Laura Stevenson

"It’s as if you knew me, and even though it’s briefly, and though it’s not completely, I can feel you reading, reading me to sleep" This song is about persevering, even though you know it's all coming to an end. It's sad hours, and I'm afraid it's all downhill from here.

12. Colder Heavens - Blanco White

"Here I stand undressed, here I confess my doubt, did you know that I would?" The mortifying ordeal of being known, and also being hunted by a monster bear, and also there's a mutiny. That's not what the song is actually about, but it has the vibes.

13. Lucky Man - Emerson, Lake & Palmer

"He went to fight wars for his country and king, of his honour and his glory the people would sing" Something something "there will be poems". This song is the poem.

14. I Will - Mitski

"And while you sleep I’ll be scared, so by the time you wake I’ll be brave" I feel like I don't have to explain myself with this one, but I do have tissues if you need them. I did warn you it's sad hours.

15. The Pugilist - Keaton Henson

"But the truth is I need you to tell me I’m worthy of all this great living that I’ve been doing" James has imposter syndrome, part three, but now he's also dying.

16. Artifact #1 - Conor Oberst

"The world is full of missing persons, all of these unsolved mysteries" James is still dying. Francis is feeling... not great about it.

17. Genesis 30:3 - The Mountain Goats

"I will do what you ask me to do, because of how I feel about you" This is the song that made me start this fanmix. Imagine someone you love asking you to kill them. Imagine being unable to deny them anything. Remember when I said you could have my tissues? I take it back, I need them myself now, thanks.

18. Another New World - Josh Ritter

"I won’t call it rescue what brought me here back to the old world to drink and decline, and to pretend that the search for another new world was well worth the burning of mine" This song is about an arctic explorer surviving, but at much too great a cost. Perfect theme song for Final Girl Francis. It's also extremely long, so you have time to get all those tears out before moving on with your life. Thank you for listening.

[manysmallhands]

FearOfMu21c #29

Julia Holter - Feel You

Released - July 9 2015

Did not chart

Spotify streams to date - 5,660,828

As Shakespeare in Love had it, what you need is three things: comedy, love and a bit with a dog. While the romance in Feel You is debatable (who is Julia waiting for? Even she doesn’t know tbh), its video certainly has the other two. Specifically, it stars her then-boyfriend’s dog Francis and his amusing antics were so much the focus of contemporary coverage that it’s the main thing I remember about the day it was released (go watch it now, he’s adorable!). But if you can bring yourself to look beyond that, you’ll find that Feel You is far more than just a vehicle for its lovable canine protagonist. It is in fact one of the best singles yet released this century.

I would make a case that, while Julia Holter has recorded many great songs, there’s something about Feel You that is specifically single-like, a perfectly self contained statement of the type that she doesn’t often make. While its sound is as panoramic as anything she’s done, it functions so well within a simple pop structure that you can almost forget how strange it is. Holter’s vocal (as ever) is mannered to the point where I’m sure that some people will find it really annoying but to me (as ever) it’s endearing, with a childlike hurrying onwards that matches the sense of wonder in her music. 

The best part is in the chorus, where the song stops to take a breath and then proceeds to march through an astonishing baroque chord progression which feels something like having the world revealed to you from the top of a mountain. The precision of her voice and the rattling harpsichord seem to move at a different pace to the rest of the song but the marriage of the pair is key to what makes it work, the melodic jumps providing a restlessness that slots in perfectly alongside all those gliding strings. Though it sounded like little else released at the time, Feel You comes over like the most accessible thing in the world, the sound of a talented artist stretching towards the mainstream without compromising anything at all.

[josefavomjaaga]

I have already quoted some anecdotes from the Souvenirs militaires by Hippolyte d'Espinchal here and here. And I thought I had also already translated his meeting with Bavarian king Max Joseph, but I seem unable to find it again, so maybe I had not? In any case, it's probably mostly of interest for myself, so please ignore if it's a duplicate.

For context: Hippolyte d'Espinchal was a former French émigré; his father had been a close friend of Max Joseph's before the Revolution, and his mother during her exile had fled to and spent some time in Munich. Hippolyte at some point had returned home and taken up service under Napoleon; at Wagram, he had served as a hussar under famous general Montbrun. In spring of 1810, he accompanied Montbrun to France, and that journey led them through Bavaria. Montbrun decided to go to Munich and to pay his respects to the king, and he took d'Espinchal with him.

We were ushered into his chambers and found him alone. His reception was kind and entirely informal. After expressing his admiration for General Montbrun's brilliant conduct in this last campaign, His Majesty deigned to speak to me about my father and the attachment he still held for him, an attachment whose proof was unequivocal, since it was to this feeling that I owed the honour of being decorated with his military order. He enquired with the greatest interest about my brother and his injuries. "Sire," I told him, "my heart is as grateful as it was nine years ago, and the memory of the kindness with which Your Majesty showered my mother in her exile and misery will never fade from my heart."

As he explains in his memoirs, Max Joseph - then Elector of Bavaria - had provided a house for Madame d'Espinchal during her exile in Munich and had constantly looked out for her; on her departure home to France he visited with many members of his court, a huge honour for d'Espinchal's mum.

The king gave me a pat on the cheek with a fatherly smile and turned to the general. "I hope," he said, "that you will stay for at least two days and that my table will be yours", then making a sign to me which showed that he included me in this invitation, he added, "Let's start by lunching in private", and we moved towards a room where the table was already prepared; but how surprised was the general, when he unfolded his napkin, to find there the plaque and the grand cordon of the military order of Bavaria.

And I can just see Max sneaking around that table, personally hiding those decorations in the napkin.

It was impossible to see more kindness and simplicity in the manners of this excellent prince, combined with a great deal of roundness and cheerfulness of spirit; he liked especially to recall the time when he was in France as a colonel (under the reign of Louis XVI), then Prince Max des Deux-Ponts, and always staying with my father when he came to Paris. "If anyone had told me, when I was a colonel, that I would one day become sovereign, I would have been very surprised," he added. He professed boundless devotion to the Emperor; he was also particularly fond of Prince Eugène, his son-in-law, who made his daughter so happy, and retained feelings for his old friends from before the Revolution that have never wavered.

"who made his daughter so happy" - sorry, but that is so Max

Considering how very little such things usually counted in royal marriages - after all, Austrian emperor Francis had just sold married off his daughter to a man whom this daughter had learned to fear and despise ever since her childhood - this remark seems like more evidence that Max Joseph was not much suited to be a monarch. And I mean that as a compliment.

On leaving the table, the king sent for a chamberlain (the Count of Vichy, a French émigré), recommending that he show us around his beautiful residence: "Above all," he said, "don't forget the art gallery". There, I had reason to feel a sense of pride and self-love that explained the king's delicate recommendation. I saw the full-length portrait of my great-grandfather, Gaspard d'Espinchal, Generalissimo of the Bavarian armies [...].

... who apparently had a horrible reputation as a general, but that's beside the point. Family is family.

[ow-anteater]

The amount of embarrassing love I have for Jack Morrison is unbearable 😔 he's been my overwatch crush since day one he's such a grumpy loser he's my little blorbo 🤌

Worry not friend, Jonathan ‘Jack’ Francis Morrison is also my blorbo from my video game unfortunately ✊🏽😔

Plans trips as a way of showing affection. Packs your back for the hike he planned as a sign of deep deep affection

This also applies to his close friends, but any sort of emotional closeness instantly unlocks his ‘telling wistful, insignificant but beautiful anecdotes tinged with a slight sadness’-mode

Forgetful as shit about especially biographical information. Does not know your parents names, nor your birthday. Does probably know your favorite brand and kind of pasta though

So invested in his friends and romantic partners getting along. Will almost interrogate Ana about if she liked his partner after the first time they’ve hanged out (he thinks he’s being sly about it and he absolutely is not)

Gets easily overwhelmed by physical touch to the point of it being uncomfortable during anything but very, very casual conversation. Will do a little cycle of ‘reach for a partners hand for support/grounding/let them go to focus on speaking/repeat’ if engaged in stressful conversations

So fond of little quick close mouthed kisses. Cannot say goodbye or good luck or you’re lovely without following up with quickly kissing his partners forehead or hand or the corner of their mouth

Has a bad case of ‘everything reminds me of them’-syndrome going whenever he’s even slightly crushing on somebody. Has bombarded every partner he’s ever had with media recommendations he thought they’d like or that reminded him of them

Has a tendency to self sacrifice to a unhealthy and unhelpful degree. Absolutely needs his partner to hit him with a ‘this isn’t helping me it’s just grinding you down’ every once in a while

Part of this is definitely a trauma response, but a small part of it is also that he genuinely sometimes really underestimated what normal, non-enhanced people can safely and reasonably do

I’m so sorry to say but Jack is easily in the top three of OW characters most likely to get the name of a romantic partner tattooed

[forsty]

random Forest facts because I adore him so much

- his actual name is Ole Skog. When he came to Virginia City people had so much trouble pronouncing “Ole” that he earned the nickname Forest, which he ends up just going by. BUT... the norwegian word for Forest is.. Skog... so his name is just Forest Forest

- Couldn’t ride horses until he was... 19 maybe? He LOVES horses and isn’t scared of them, but learning to ride horses was just never a thing until Joe decides it’s time. 

- Has 2 horses... how does a guy who previously couldn’t ride suddenly end up with 2? WELL LET ME TELL YOU 

- Cleopatra is an old appaloosa mare with a heart of gold and the softest and kindest personality you’d ever see on a horse (especially a mare??). After Forest learned to ride, the Cartwrights brought him to a horse auction where he was supposed to find himself a strong and young riding horse. Instead he picked Cleopatra. A retired circus horse who can’t really be ridden much anymore. Forest just decided that he wanted that sweet old lady to live out the rest of her years in comfort. He never rides her, he just takes her for walks and lets her graze and do her thing. 

- Askeladden (named after a Norwegian fairytale hero) is a norwegian fjord horse stallion who’s a good boy but also extremely mischievous. He was a gift from Joe to Forest. Somehow (with good connections I assume) Joe managed to find a fjord horse breeder/importer and bought one of the foals. Forest went BONKERS. Ask is a good horse, but has ALOT of personality. You never see his eyes, it’s always covered by his fringe/mane and he’s always munching on some grass. 

- The type of person who accidentally wanders into trouble... his head is often in the clouds daydreaming about stuff (mostly about kissing Joe HEHEHEH)

- Became good friends with Joe really early, they’ve been friends since they were 13 (Joe 14 since he’s one year older). Joe took one look at this introverted new norwegian kid (who could barely speak english) and decided HE’S MY FRIEND. Brought him home to the Ponderosa and showed his new friend to Ben like “CAN I KEEP HIM, PA? PLEASE?”

- He falls in love with Joe very gradually over time... probably realizes it himself when he’s around 17 and then 10 long years of pining for his bestfriend in secret begins...... Joe doesn’t fucking realize anything cause he’s oblivious AF, but he’s a bisexual roller coaster 

- Obsessed with fairy tales and folk lore and things like that. He loves telling and drawing things from norwegian folk lore. He once managed to convince Hoss that trolls existed and Hoss spent a few weeks thinking trolls were after him (Joe thought it was hilarious)

- Hopeless romantic and way too passionate for his own good... He’s the type of person to sit under a tree in the woods pulling petals off a flower and going “He loves me...... he loves me not...... he loves me......” 

- Obsessed with animals... he has a raccoon who shows up at his home that he sorta trained and named Francis (Francis being Joe’s middle name in case you didn’t know). He loves to venture into nature to sit down and sketch some animals and Joe often accompanies him (both to keep him company but also to make sure Forest doesn’t get eaten by a cougar or a bear because Forest WILL get so lost in the art sauce and forget that THOSE ANIMALS GO BITEY IF YOU COME TOO CLOSE)

- Was scared of Adam in the beginning, and sometimes still is. (He has tremendous respect for him)

LISTEN I JUST LOVE MY BOY SO MUCH 

[pokemon22022]

Who is my favorite character in the whole Yu-Gi-Oh! Series and Yu-Gi-Oh! Franchise. Before I forget, please DON'T SAVE THE PICTURES AND REPOSTING THIS POST AT ALL WITHOUT ASKING ME OR THE CO-OWNER OF THIS BLOG, SO DON’T SAVE THE PICTURES AND REPOSTING POST AT ALL WITHOUT ASKING ME AND THE CO-OWNER OF THE BLOG!!!!!!!

1. Zexal: Tori Meadows/Kotori Mizuki, she's my favorite of whole Yu-Gi-Oh! Series and Yu-Gi-Oh! Franchise because she is an angel. Even if she doesn't duel or loses or has to have someone with her when she duels, she is number one in my books. 

2. Zexal: Mrs. Meadows/Mizuki or Luna Ren-Meadows/Mizuki, she serves as an ally to Tori Meadows/Kotori Mizuki behind the scenes throughout the series.

3. Zexal: Meredith Meadows/Yone Mizuki, she also serves as an ally to Tori Meadows/Kotori Mizuki behind the scenes throughout the series.

4. Zexal: Caswell Francis/Takashi Todoroki, he is the best no matter what even if he wins or loses and uses technology to help his friends out.

5. Zexal: Art Stanley/Chitaro Ariga, he is the best even though he is a comic book artist and a Comic Hero user and he doesn’t have to duel to be perfect.

6. 5D's: Luna, she is the Ancient Fairy Dragon user with a pure heart.

7. 5D's: Leo, he is the Power Tool Dragon/Life Stream Dragon user with a strong heart that protects his family.

8. Yu-Gi-Oh! Monster Card: Little Fairy, she is the best Effect Yu-Gi-Oh! Monster Card that I will ever use no matter what because I care to use it in my decks present and future. Her effect is to discard a card to add a level to this card twice per turn.

9.  Yu-Gi-Oh! Monster Card: Fairy Cheer Girl, she is the best Xyz Effect Yu-Gi-Oh! Monster Card that I will ever use no matter what because I care to use it in my decks present and future. Her effect after she is Xyz Summoned after using two Fairy Type Monster Cards is you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; draw 1 card. You can only use this effect of "Fairy Cheer Girl" once per turn.

10.  Yu-Gi-Oh! Monster Card: CXyz: Dark Fairy Cheer Girl, she is the best Xyz and Effect Yu-Gi-Oh! Monster Card that I will ever use no matter what because I care to use it in my decks present and future. Her effect after she is Xyz Summoned or Chaos Xyz Summoned using Rank-Up-Magic Barian’s Force to rank up Fairy Cheer Girl is when this card is sent from the field to the Graveyard: Draw 1 card. If this card has "Fairy Cheer Girl" as an Xyz Material, it gains this effect. ● When this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle and remains on the field: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; inflict 400 damage to your opponent for each card in your hand.

These are the main characters that I like and see as my top whatever for right now, but I will post my true tier list whenever I get the chance because I have a lot to do right now. Just in case, NO ONE SAVE THE PICTURES AND REPOST THIS POST WITHOUT ASKING ME AND THE CO-OWNER OF THIS ACCOUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lightheart20202020]

Who is my favorite character in the whole Yu-Gi-Oh! Series and Yu-Gi-Oh! Franchise. Before I forget, please DON'T SAVE THE PICTURES AND REPOSTING THIS POST AT ALL WITHOUT ASKING ME OR THE CO-OWNER OF THIS BLOG, SO DON’T SAVE THE PICTURES AND REPOSTING POST AT ALL WITHOUT ASKING ME AND THE CO-OWNER OF THE BLOG!!!!!!!

1. Zexal: Tori Meadows/Kotori Mizuki, she's my favorite of whole Yu-Gi-Oh! Series and Yu-Gi-Oh! Franchise because she is an angel. Even if she doesn't duel or loses or has to have someone with her when she duels, she is number one in my books. 

2. Zexal: Mrs. Meadows/Mizuki or Luna Ren-Meadows/Mizuki, she serves as an ally to Tori Meadows/Kotori Mizuki behind the scenes throughout the series.

3. Zexal: Meredith Meadows/Yone Mizuki, she also serves as an ally to Tori Meadows/Kotori Mizuki behind the scenes throughout the series.

4. Zexal: Caswell Francis/Takashi Todoroki, he is the best no matter what even if he wins or loses and uses technology to help his friends out.

5. Zexal: Art Stanley/Chitaro Ariga, he is the best even though he is a comic book artist and a Comic Hero user and he doesn’t have to duel to be perfect.

6. 5D's: Luna, she is the Ancient Fairy Dragon user with a pure heart.

7. 5D's: Leo, he is the Power Tool Dragon/Life Stream Dragon user with a strong heart that protects his family.

8. Yu-Gi-Oh! Monster Card: Little Fairy, she is the best Effect Yu-Gi-Oh! Monster Card that I will ever use no matter what because I care to use it in my decks present and future. Her effect is to discard a card to add a level to this card twice per turn.

9.  Yu-Gi-Oh! Monster Card: Fairy Cheer Girl, she is the best Xyz Effect Yu-Gi-Oh! Monster Card that I will ever use no matter what because I care to use it in my decks present and future. Her effect after she is Xyz Summoned after using two Fairy Type Monster Cards is you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; draw 1 card. You can only use this effect of "Fairy Cheer Girl" once per turn.

10.  Yu-Gi-Oh! Monster Card: CXyz: Dark Fairy Cheer Girl, she is the best Xyz and Effect Yu-Gi-Oh! Monster Card that I will ever use no matter what because I care to use it in my decks present and future. Her effect after she is Xyz Summoned or Chaos Xyz Summoned using Rank-Up-Magic Barian’s Force to rank up Fairy Cheer Girl is when this card is sent from the field to the Graveyard: Draw 1 card. If this card has "Fairy Cheer Girl" as an Xyz Material, it gains this effect. ● When this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle and remains on the field: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; inflict 400 damage to your opponent for each card in your hand.

These are the main characters that I like and see as my top whatever for right now, but I will post my true tier list whenever I get the chance because I have a lot to do right now. Just in case, NO ONE SAVE THE PICTURES AND REPOST THIS POST WITHOUT ASKING ME AND THE CO-OWNER OF THIS ACCOUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[culttvblog]

The Long Chase

Taking a little break from The Prisoner to rush into print about this show which I have only just found out about in case there is anyone who hasn't sussed that it is currently available in its entirety on YouTube (on the magnificently named Major Dolby's Cat channel); in fairly poor quality but nonetheless as far as I can tell that is the only place you will be able to see this much-loved children's show. And while you're watching it, use one of those YouTube downloaders to save your own copy, because the more copies there are the more these things can be made available. According to t'internet because it was made on film the BBC still have it but have shown no interest in releasing it or repeating it since its onlly repeat in 1974.

Perhaps I should stress that I am talking about the 1972 children's TV series and not the 1971 film of the same name. I swear this drives me crazy.

The premise is fairly simple: John Corby is fishing with his dad, a police officer who got thrown out of the Met after getting too close to an international assassination organisation, when John spots a girl in distress in the water off the cliff and goes to help her. When he comes back he finds that his father has vanished. The rest of the series is their chase to find the father, with the elaboration of the reasons he got kicked out of the Met and what happened. The chase goes right the way up the country into Scotland and includes loads of nail-biting action as they get embroiled ever deeper into the world of espionage.

I should say that this is such a 1970s set-up for this show, when every police officer they speak to assumes the father is a bent copper (even by the standards of the notoriously bent Metropolitan police) but John of course knows that he wasn't. The whole scandal of corrupt police in the 1970s (and still) and don't forget that 1972 was before TV drama turned to show police realistically as utterly criminal in shows like The Sweeney. This is about trust and truth, and not giving up in the face of intimidation.

Well, you would know it would be a nuanced and perceptive drama when you know The Long Chase was written by the prolific NJ Crisp, who also wrote episodes of Dixon of Dock Green, Dr Finlay's Casebook, Doomwatch, Enemy at the Door, and the whole of The Brothers, Colditz, and Secret Army. Basically I can almost guarantee you've seen something else he's written.

One of the reasons I'm posting about it is that I'm very pleased because normally when I write about a show I have a poke around online and find that I disagree with the reviews I read. In this case I found that there is vanishingly little about it online, but there are a number of older reviews (from before 2010, say) by contemporary viewers who were all very struck by it at the time and wanted to see it again. I was sufficiently moved by the sheer strength of feeling in those reviews to write this blog post! I haven't even seen it all the way through myself but love it already. The criticism I've also seen that those middle aged men wanted to see it again for the reason that they wanted to see Jan Francis (who played Susan Fraser, the girl) again. I know this isn't true because they could equally well see her in any of the other 75 films and shows IMDB says she has been in!

In fact that is my only criticism, which I'm not sure is justified, because in the show Simon Fisher-Turner was 17, the age of John his character, but Jan Francis was more like 24 and it shows. The problem is that even though it's only seven years, in reality there is a huge age difference between 17 and 24 but they act like they are the same age. They're both acting like they're 17, and it doesn't seem quite right. I wouldn't want you to run away with the idea that this is a fatal criticism, though.

Pictured: women's charity Refuge dumping 1,071 bad apples (that we know of) outside New Scotland Yard. Legends.

This blog is mirrored at

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Archives from 2013 to September 2023 may be found at culttvblog.blogspot.com and there is an index to the tags used on the Tumblr version at https://www.tumblr.com/culttvblog/729194158177370112/this-blog

[daincrediblegg]

the terror ! chernobyl! <333

THE TERROR

Favourite character: Who else but Francis Crozier? My Darling? my beloved? the love of my life? Funniest character: Thomas Blanky (THE MVP!!! though Francis is also close second the man is funny as fuck TO ME) Best-looking character: Also Francis and I will NOT be challenged on the subject (but also in fairness there's a few other hotties on there like JFJ and Neddie and Jop and BLANKY and silna and everybody... but Francis still takes the cake) 3 favourite ships: well obviously the very canonical Lady Terror x Crozier (I am biased and I'm not sorry about it ) or Amelia x Crozier or JFJ (I am biased and I'm not sorry about it) OR Lady Terror x Amelia x Crozier x JFJ (I AM. BIASED. AND I AM NOT SORRY. ABOUT IT.) (no but in fairness in my periphery Silna/Goodsir, and the occasional rossier or fitzier when I start going mad with lust from the lack of reader fic) Least favourite character: rAT BITCH HICKEY( I keep making that Lady Terror with a boat knife joke for a reason. listen I appreciate his character and the role he plays in the narrative and how vital it is, but also he just sucks as a dude in general what with the racism and sexism and how he weaponizes that to inspire it in everyone else when they're vulnerable. like forget the cannibalism there are a great many reasons to throw that whole man out) but also low-key Sofia (look girl I understand where you're coming from but the guy really said there is nowhere I'd rather be and whichever direction leads the altar. no it's not a good match and you're right but still HE IS HEARTBROKEN- I don't feel so bad now bc Lady Terror is on the case but still. I just feel for the fella ok?)

Least favourite ship: Crozier x Sofia (HE! CAN! DO! BETTER!)

Reason why I watch it: reasons are myriad and plentiful (as you damn well know cherry). I like a damn good gothic story and this one is slowly becoming one of my favorites of the lot (and I basically have a concentration in this genre for my major at this point so that says a lot). Never has the rot of empire been laid out so clearly so carefully with a wealth of characters that bring nuance and insight into the subject and especially (and importantly) Inuit perspective on the event. It has so much weight and depth to it and Crozier in particular holds my fascination for his narrative in superposition between colonizer and colonized and just the IMMENSE weight of his internal struggle that is laid out for him throughout the course of the series. Of course naturally I saw that and went "I want to fuck him" because with all that on the line how could I resist (not to mention with how revealing his conversations with Sofia are he's absolutely a romantic at heart I know it) ? But honestly without all that insanely in-depth character work (as played by the ever brilliant ever enrapturing Jared Harris) I would not be as down bad as I am about it. Not to mention just how well it's written how detailed the character work is how ACCURATE everything is to period down to set dressings and props. I'm just bloody in love with it all ok? ok.

Why I started watching it: I was bored and I think we were a few months into the pandemic and I was like "hey I've been meaning to watch this" and then I did and all I knew was Jared Harris and Tobias Menzies and the fella from game of thrones. And then I did another re-watch a few months back (induced by Chernobyl which was induced by TLOU coming out) and here we are now the brain rot has fully taken hold.

CHERNOBYL

Favourite character: Hard tie between the trio but then again... I end up writing for Valery more often than not so... Yeah unfortunately my bias is showing it's Valery.

Funniest character: The Miner Crew Chief. motherfucker really said bare ass into the nuclear reactor tunnel but keep the hats on as a malicious compliance maneuver. Absolute legend (though Boris is close second with his little meltdown like jfc I scream about it every time. And also Valery being an awkward little bean half the time brings me nothing but sheer joy)

Best-looking character:... As TASTY as Valery is technically speaking Boris is more well put together imo (but still... Valery's old man shuffle and pudgy belly have captivated me)

3 favourite ships: Valery x Ulana x Boris are such a supreme ot3 for me (and Intercalculation on ao3 has spoiled me for life) and honestly that's the only one I really have (Well... other than Valery x Boris x Cherry's unnamed Baker OC ofc. and perhaps everyone/lead shielding)

Least favourite character: Dyatlov. Imagine being horribly irradiated and asking for a butter and caviar sandwich? wretched gremlin behavior and fucking criminally negligent to boot! (second only to the fucking snake and head of the KGB himself Charkov. the prick.)

Least favourite ship: ... anyone x the exposed reactor core

Reason why I watch it: I mean honestly? I watched it when it came out (or at least around the time) and it's such a ballsy show for the time. I mean it was pre-pandemic, middle of the trump era. And here's this show critiquing absolute faith damn near to the point of zionism in the state (when the state is, in fact, horribly HORRIBLY flawed). Granted, the manifestation in the Soviet Union is much different than it was in america, but the takeaway (again delivered with insanely remarkable gusto by Jared Harris) remains so profound and pertinent. The "lie" in what is arguably the best tagline ever written isn't about the actual state secrets that allowed chernobyl to occur itself. it's the very idea in the government's infallibility that is a lie- and anyone in my generation knew that before this series, but considering when it came out? it's SO ballsy to say that. And has never been more important. And I just keep coming back to it for the magnificent performances to that end (and especially Jared. love of my life)

Why I started watching it: Lol I remember seeing it and thinking "yo radiation scary" but then the above hit. it was incredible.

[runnning-outof-time]

Hi again! I sent the question about Birmingham and a certain character earlier! 💕 And yes the ending of To Forget the Pain defiantly made me laugh😂 And I had to reread it like three time to be sure because I don't think the party had ended my the time the two ran off to the fountain and so I started imagining like Polly or Ada walking out of the party to look for Tommy for the like goodbye/party's over speech and ask where he was only for Francis to say he was in the fountain at which point both women would just give up and accept he'd finally lost it😂😂 Or like a random couple would be sneaking off to have ✨fun✨ and end up seeing the "scary gangster host" swimming in the fountain and just think their like going crazy🥰

AND OOOHHH SECRET PLANS!!! I promise to keep the secret with me life😂🤫🤫 I'm excited to see how that plays in now because I wasn't sure the connection was correct but I'm glad it is now!!💕💕💗💗

Once again you're brilliant and I hope you have a great night❤️❤️❤️

Aw yay, anon, you’re back!! 😃😃

I need to do a bit of research on certain character, but from what I’ve found right now, it seems like what you’ve sent in is the case (which makes me so excited!!) thanks so much for keeping the secret with me!! 😉😉

I’m so happy you liked that story — I wasn’t sure if the ending was going to be too out of place or not, so to hear that you really liked it has made me more confident about it.

Thanks again for all of the love!! If you ever wanna drop in and say hi again, don’t hesitate in doing so! ❤️

[a-simple-cup-of-tea]

Can I request (platonic) Japan, France and Finland with a little brother country who’s quite weak and gets sick easily?

~Japan, France and Finland with a little brother country who’s quite weak and gets sick easily~

note: ahhh i missed the point once again but i hope you still likr it also sorry for responding so late.

cw: death, i guess; no corection read I'm lazy

Japan

Kiku is a great big brother always so caring and kind, but of course he was also constantly worried about his younger brother's well being.

at first everyone was confused on how and why Kiku's little brother was so sickly, after all he was very well protected by the japanese man.

countries usually do not get sick easily, sinace most of the time they have a stable economy and aren't at war with another. of course countires get sick from time to time as well, let's take france for example he was incredibly sick during the french revolution, same goes for germany and russia, and any other country who had a revolution at least once in their lives, any tragic event in general takes a lot of health from country.

but this wasn't the case for Kiku's brother, one day he just got sick, breathing became hard for him and whenever he tried to eat he just couldn't swallow it.

the black haired man was, rightfully, concerned, he had taken care of his brother for an incredibly long time, he saw him grow up and couldn't stand the thought of him dissapearing.

his brother's illness has been going on for quite sometime now and all Kiku could do was make memories with him, happy memories, memories one never want's to forget.

"big brother, am i gonna disappear? i don't wanna dissapear!"

this of course broke the dark haired man's heart, all he could do now was make false promises, since he wasn't even sure himslef.

"don't worry you're not going to dissapear, you'll wake up tomorrow moring all happy and healthy, just like always."

Kiku took his brother's hand in an attempt to calm him down, singing him to sleep with an old japanese lullaby.

as soon as his brother was asleep he gave him a kiss on his forehead, knowing fully well that this could be the last time. he closed the door and went to his own room, all he wanted to do now was cry, alone in his room.

Kiku didn't want to lose his family again.

France

Francis thought he had everything undercontrol, after all this wasn't the first sibling he raised, but the fact that his brother has gotten ill hit him really hard, maybe it was because he had seen Gilbert lose his brother to a similar illness, he saw how Gil's brother suffered and he didn't want his own brother to go through it.

the blonde is an old country he has seen countires appear and disapear, it never bothered him that much, maybe just a bit of a mouring period but nothing more than that, he didn't feel his heart break when they disapeared. the last time he felt that sadness was after HRE's and Jeanne's death, but that was an awfully long time ago.

Now that a country's disapearance actively affected him, it hurt, it just hurt. He did everything in the world to care for his brother, from the very first time they met he had been very weak and prone to sickness, but it never was this bad.

Francis would never have guessed that one of his siblings would die such a horrible death, but here he was, his little brother, on the death bed, hoping for some sort of magical cure which probably never was to come.

now the final day, the final night has come, without a cure in sight. all the blonde could do to calm his brother was hold his hand and read his favourite book ,le petit prince, to him. it was a quiet night, but the nights to come were even quieter.

Finland

Death was never something that bothered the finish man, it never was something which affected him or his loved ones, death never came close to him..until now.

now his little brother, the little boy he raised ever since he found him back when he was weak and fragile. Tino thought growing up might help with all of his brother's problems, but it didn't it only made everything worse.

with age Tino's brother got more and more sick, to the point he couldn't leave the bed anymore, this of course worried not only Tino but the other nordics as well.

there was no cure in sight, it pained the finish man so much, not being able to help his little brother, to see him in so much pain, to see him suffer everyday hoping he wakes up to see another.

the blonde tried to make everyday special for his brother, playing together, going on walks, reading him books, telling him stories and of course a lot of time spent just talking to one another. very day could be his brother's last day, he knew that and his brother knew as well.

this night was spent on the roof top of their shared house watching the stars and telling eachother stories about the past and about their dreams. around 1:25am the both of them got read to go to bed, Tino just stayed at his brother's side until he was fully asleep, then it was time for himself to go to sleep, but something kept him from going to his own room, so he just stayed at his brother's bedside.

[walkuntilthedaylight]

The people have spoken! How can I not give them what they want?

I'm gonna put this all under a cut, since it's a bit long, and also because it's highly interpretative/speculative and not everyone likes those kinds of posts as they can be rather subjective and, I suppose, invasive. I want to give two major caveats to my thoughts below: first is that I tend not to buy the idea that Paul was the "stable/normal" Beatle, mostly b/c I view marijuana dependency and workaholism as addictions and I take them pretty seriously. Second is that I really do love this kind of tabloid/gossip/personal account shit; I think it should be taken with a handful of salt, but I don't think it should be entirely dismissed out of hand either. I read this stuff like I'm piling up sheets of stained glass: I'm intrigued by the places where the colours blend and overlap, and ignore things that fall outside the prism. Anyway, let's dig in:

Okay, so what I found fascinating about 'Body Count' is that it's one of the only sources which observes Paul McCartney's mental health during the period between the India trip and when the band breakup really got rolling. I think it's overall a fairly self-absorbed text that definitely has some lies and exaggerations peppered in there to make things spicier and more dramatic, but its broad characterization - as I mentioned in my first post - isn't exactly libelous or out of left field. Some elements that make me think it's generally if not wholly authentic are: Paul's simultaneously forceful and dorky seduction style, his terrible Liverpool diet and poor housekeeping, the bouts of thrill-seeking recklessness, avoidant adventure crafting, dark moods when drinking non-socially, the occasional hot and cold bouts with the Apple Scuffs camped out at his gate, and the way in which he underplays his drug habit, which is SO "in truthfulness we spent most of the filming of Help! slightly stoned":

These details are so bizarrely specific and have significant overlap with both sympathetic and spurned personal accounts of Paul I've read in the past, so I believe Francie is just telling "Her Version Of The Truth" here rather than crafting a piece of pure fiction. The most important and revealing anecdote in the book is this one.

There's no reason not to believe this is a fairly accurate representation of something that actually happened, imo, since we know that anxious purse strings were an ongoing issue in the unusual turnover rate within the band Wings, and there are plenty of confirmed and rumoured cases alike of extended family members feeling entitled to a "piece of the pie"; this is just like, the kind of thing that happens to working class people who get catapulted into fame and fortune. And Paul in particular already had deep-seated financial anxiety for whatever reasons he'll never fully admit (as is his right, but I think his offhand claim that he "once heard some adults arguing about money and that's why" might actually be alluding to having heard some adults - y'know, like his parents - arguing over money fairly frequently). What esp interests me about the anecdote is the way Paul seems to connect the conflict b/t his dual "identities" with these financial expectations. Perhaps the CAPSLOCK emotional hysteria related in the book is puffed up for drama, but it does bring to mind one of the most revealing comments Linda ever made about their relationship, which is that Paul needed to be told he would still be loved when the cameras weren't rolling. And that's the thing: Francie caught Paul at the exact moment that the pillars of his Smile-For-The-Camera "Beatle" identity were collapsing; the dissolution of his relationships with John and Jane.

Whatever all this could possibly mean re: the breakup of the Lennon-McCartney partnership is a post for another time. What I wanna do instead is apply the level of speculation we usually reserve for that relationship to the endpoint of Paul and Jane's courtship.

So like, Paul and Jane: I know people are resistant to this specific POV, but I honestly just don't... think it was that deep? "Not deep", mind you, doesn't mean "not significant". Paul was obviously Jane's first love (u never forget), but the feeling I get from Paul's side (as a subconscious process I mean) is that Jane's importance was primarily as a lynchpin in his London Socialite persona. He loved her family, he loved the friend group, the artistic scene dating her gave him access to, as well as the leg up he got in the class system, etc. He liked to be the kind of guy who was dating Jane Asher. But I don't know that he was the guy who was dating Jane Asher, you get me? When people describe their "great love" they accidentally tell on them (Cynthia innocently describing Paul as being pleased to have her on his arm like a trophy; John: "it was an ordinary love scene"; Alistair Taylor noting that Paul was humiliated by the breakup). Paul's a serial monogamist who U-Hauls like a lesbian, of course, so he definitely took the relationship VERY seriously, but it's telling that all of his love songs to her were either about hitting a brick wall in arguments (certainly not dreamy, fond, yearning of "sunday morning fights about saturday night"; and occasionally expressing hints of class tension too), or completely non-descript Guy With A Guitar Trying To Get Laid shit. I could extrapolate a lot about Linda just from listening to McCartney I/RAM and the Wings discography, but 'And I Love Her' doesn't tell me a single thing about Jane besides that she's pretty. It could be about literally anyone the same way 'My Love' or 'Maybe I'm Amazed' could only be about his dynamic with Linda. Some of this is obviously the natural result of getting older and gaining emotional maturity; what I'm saying is that Paul's behaviour and self-expression in this relationship does not suggest to me that it was one in which his emotional maturity was able to develop or flourish.

I want to stress again that I don't think this belittles the significance of the relationship or makes it "bad" or "fake". Like, sometimes hot people just date for a while in their teens and twenties and love each other without necessarily unlocking their inner emotional cores, usually because they don't know how to. It's, like, fine. You need to experience relationships like that as stepping stones. I simply believe that this sort of front-facing social importance being prime in the romance is a major factor in why it ultimately didn't work (and probably in Linda's reported lingering jealousy of Jane, who wasn't just an ex, but also a symbol of the life Paul ditched to build a new identity w/ her, and sometimes still pined for). With Jane, Paul was dating the "right" kind of girl (didn't put out on the first date, erudite and middle class, as serious about her career as he was, a good "celebrity" match), but the relationship often wasn't doing what he wanted it to do. Francie's observation is that by 1968 it also wasn't doing what he needed it to do either. This is the overwhelming "mood" in her affair with Paul McCartney: that he needed something very badly from a romantic partner that he just was NOT getting, and Francie couldn't figure out what it was either:

(note that she means "queer" as in "mad", not "gay")

This was an EXTREMELY roundabout way of asking: well, what WAS it that Paul needed a relationship to do for him? And I think this is Francie's big, accidental insight. The most scandalous claim in 'Body Count' is that Paul told Francie that he hit Jane and it "turned her on".

I personally think this is p. absurd absent any real proof to back it up, but like, what is Francie actually saying HE'S saying here? If she's exaggerating or lying, she's trying to make it believable within the psychological parameters laid out, right? It's not an expression of some secret desire to dominate women she's accusing him of, but emotional disturbance and confusion at the idea that the woman he was with might like that sort of forceful, masculine violence more than his softer, feminine side, which he was - yeah, we all know it - deeply insecure about.

Regardless of whether specific details are true or false (and I think there's both in this story, all hyper-magnified to make it, y'know, a ~STORY~), I think what might be true is the emotional undertow of the retelling, that this all taken together is actually representative of the side of Paul McCartney she was exposed to, at a time when his public and private facades had both become unbearable to the point of cracking and the drug-fueled optimism of the Summer of Love was getting scrubbed off of everyone and everything. It's the Paul McCartney who eviscerated frogs because he was worried he was too "soft" for compulsory military service. The Paul who modelled his masculine teen behaviour off John Lennon's fake "Marlon Brando" swagger, but was actually more fond of the velvet "Oscar Wilde" interior.

What's SO FASCINATING about all this to me, is I deeply believe that one of the key factors in what makes The Beatles music so unique and compelling is that both the songwriters experienced psychological strain from the tension b/t their parochial socially-defensive "masculine" pride, and their sensitive "feminine" core, the latter of which they were able to express in the unburdened emotionality of their music. The reason I care about doing these totally unhinged psych analyses is because I do think it reveals something about the underpinnings of the music, as well as the reasons why the band was such a hysteria-inducing phenomenon (the rise of psychology, imo, is almost as important as the rise of industrialization as a defining factor of the modern and postmodern eras; mass psychology can be understood and wielded in precise ways, and The Beatles were one of the first empires built on that). The subconscious drives caused by this tension have been ENDLESSLY picked apart re: John's psyche, but Paul's "mirrored" issues are very under-discussed (mostly b/c he's still alive so people are a little more leery about putting him on the "couch" as a historical figure). 'Body Count', intentionally or not, painted a portrait to me of someone who was drowning in their own ill-fitting celebrity "suit", collapsing under the weight of "Being" "Paul McCartney". A guy who desperately needed some sort of space to be vulnerable without feeling emasculated for doing it. By 1968, there was no one in his life anymore - and maybe there hadn't been for a while, or ever - who was giving him this space.

In other words: the thing he needed to avoid going "stark raving queer and killing himself" was simply someone who would love him 'after the ball'.

EDIT: read the comments for further clarification and discussion! ;)