#||ASH**❆ sweet cartharsis

[fmdxyoungjoo]

starter for @fmdtaeyong , somewhere in the late september tw: alcohol

youngjoo swore that, perhaps one of the greatest mistakes that she would have ever been recorded to do, was to eat near seongsu-dong, right close by to where ash lived in his apartment, and then proceed to consume perhaps a little more than what was considered a healthy amount of alcohol that one was supposed to consume. which was why, she supposed that--that was behind the very reason why her vision was swimming so much, horrifyingly cute giggles bubbling from her lips as she saw ash in the distance. 

“you’re walking funny.” she gestured a little, vaguely towards his frame, unperturbed at what may have been a surprised look on his face at her before his apartment, cheeks reddened and eyes glistening with drunken stupor. “like little zigzags.” she pouts slightly, nearly falling into his arms as she leaned a little too forward, throwing her arms loosely around his frame. “i missed you, ash.” funnily enough, the warmth of his arms anchors her, if not for a moment, her cheek nuzzling lightly into the solidness of his chest, lashes tickling the front of his tunic, completely throwing caution to the wind about having to be careful outside in case of others with the intention to listen in and hear. 

“you didn’t...didn’t pick up the phone.” she whined a little, slight petulance in her voice as she swayed on the spot, tongue darting out to wet her lips, throat a little parched and mouth a little dry from excessive drinking, the sweetened scent of soju permeating the breath from her lips as she blinked twice, squeezing her eyes together as though wanting to clear her vision from its dizziness. “i called you. twice.” she mumbled, the half drunk bottle of soju still clasped in her right hand. “i didn’t mean to drink so much--” she rambled, a hand raising lightly to scratch her nose, “but i thought of you, and--and i just couldn’t help myself.”

[fmdxyoungjoo]

for @fmdtaeyong , somewhere quiet and away from the crowd at the new years eve party

thoughts remain like a tickle in the back of her throat, seeping its bitter way down with a mouthful of champagne and alcohol spreading through the confines of her mouth as she hears the festive cheer behind and watches the darkening night skies. tonight is a night of celebration, and yet--tonight, is not her night. in fact youngjoo admits of herself that perhaps all the other nights leading right up to this last night--were all equally terrible nights, if the truth was something that she desired to pick apart tonight. a sigh hisses from her parted lips as she lifts the champagne glass, watching with half closed eyes and a saddened smile as the bubbles fizzed their way upwards into the shimmering gold of the alcohol, drawing her fingers lightly to splay over the pads of her eyes in the briefest moment of sheer but brief distress. her teeth settle into the plumpness of her bottom lip, delicate as she smoothed her hand over the nape of her neck. 

if only she had a stronger drinking threshold, she thought to herself, blinking as she lifted the glass to her lips, feeling the slightly bitter taste of the alcohol hit with a sour pang at the roof of her mouth. she barely manages to down the alcohol before tears spring into her eyes as she chokes a little on the alcohol spirit, unused to the varying strength of the champagne that was being served on the cruise tonight. she turns, coughing slightly as she catches a flicker of a shadow round the corner, carelessly wiping a hand over her eyes and clearing her throat, finally swallowing the pitiful mouthful of champagne, a groan tumbling from her mouth as ash’s silhouette fades into view. 

of all the things that she could possibly do, she had to--in a way embarrass herself in front of the last person that she wanted to meet for the new year.

a trembling smile flickers upon her lips for the moment, light in its tribulation and brief as she leans back and glances up, allowing her eyes to rove over ash’s frame in silent rumination before turning back to cast her eyes onto the darkened night skies.

“ i thought we weren’t meeting anymore.” the words fall from her lips heavily, borne forth with a slight tinge of aching sorrow and age old weariness. “but...i guess this is a happy new years ahead of time to you, ash.”

[fmdxyoungjoo]

if i'm legally able to say all of them, all of them. if you don't have time for my shit (understandable), then just ✉, ⁇, ✿, ø, &, ♀!

Text Message Memes: ACCEPTING!!

Send “✆” for a MORNING text.

{»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : good morning {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : i’ve made breakfast! pancakes with maple syrup and a hot cup of coffee-- {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : be careful not to burn yourself! the coffee is still hot!

...

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

Dated back in 2017 ; Mid-2017, few days post breakup

{»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : ash, i miss you. {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : i’m sorry that i couldn’t love you enough.

it was a foolish notion to have wanted to write something of that kind to ash, joo knows, buried under her blankets and the light of the phone illuminating her delicate face. what was done was done, and finally she let her tears fall.

...

Send “☎” for a RUSHED text.

{»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : imonmyway {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : ohmygod i nearly missssed the train!! {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } :  ㅠㅠ ㅠㅠ finally boarded in time, ignore those two messages please  ㅠㅠ 

...

  Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

{»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } :   do u think chving pasement is a gd iwea {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } :   i wan na slep onthe pasement it looks gd

...

Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text.

{»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } :   i bought something new today. but i need someone to help me evaluate it out.

[[picture attachment sent]]

...

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

{»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } :   i just finished watching the movie you recommended. {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } :   i swear i probably used a whole box of tissues in the process  ㅠㅠ 

...

Send “#” for a RANDOM text.

{»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } :   how long do you think it would take for both of us to come up with a complete melody for a composition? {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } :   i timed myself, the last time i took it was 5 minutes, but that was under really inspirational circumstances. i’m not as talented as you are in that area either..

...

Send “@” for a SCARED text.

{»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } :   ash... {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } :   i don’t know what to do. gold star..has put silhouette some sort of hiatus. {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } :   they need to remarket us since our comeback wasn’t successful and i--i don’t know what to do. {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } :   i have my member’s futures hanging in the line, and for once i’m just..terrified. {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } :   we’re old and outdated, and no one really loves us anymore, what am i going to do?

...

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

Sent on December 24th, Ash’s birthday

{»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE ONE AND ONLY ASH IN THE UNIVERSE! {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : I love you ^^❤️ {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : don’t forget you have a birthday date with me today--because i want to make it the best memory you’ve ever had for this year and the years to come

...

Send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

{»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : ever measured how long your legs are?...

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

{»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : WE’RE GOING ON A HOLIDAY TOMORROW! {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : i’ll see you at the meeting place!  {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : don’t forget to bundle up! its cold!

...

Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

{»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : don’t say that about him. {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : he doesn’t have one paw bigger than the other! {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : oh god, ignore those texts ash--

...Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

Dated back in 2017, few weeks post breakup

{»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : ash? {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : i’m sorry i didn’t make you feel loved enough. it was all my fault. {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : i’m sorry. {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : are you--are you never going to talk to me again? if you don’t want us to talk anymore, you don’t have to reply......the next day

{»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : i guess...this is the end of the road for us, isn’t it? {»»— ✼sweet ash ^^ } : i love you, ash.goodbye.

[fmdxyoungjoo]

Jo Youngjoo Aesthetics -- Relationship Aesthetics (Ashjoo)

@fmdtaeyong

“There are no ifs, no buts, no should haves--just now, and whatever you need and more.”

[fmdxyoungjoo]

“  hope is dangerous.  ”

Meme Sentence Starters -- Accepting!

her breath hitches at ash’s words, the silence between them suddenly depressing as she lets her eyes flicker over his features gently, almost delicately--her lips lightly pursed. “hope isn’t that dangerous either.” her voice is soft but gentle, almost tentative and careful. “its what, you know...keeps us driving when our motivations are low. it can be people, things, music--hope is everywhere ash, and its not as dangerous as you think.” she pauses for a moment, wondering if her next words would only serve to implicate them just a little further. “you’re hope. to me.” she whispers softly, just loud enough for him to hear, like a soft confession of something deeply dear. “for a long time you were always that small spark of hope for me.”