#« envelope memes: evermore »

[croupiex]

prey to the cards — what’s a memory that’s very bittersweet for you?

the façade: “I served under a man as a serf for a good portion of my childhood. Parting with him was ‘bittersweet’ in a way, he was so… generous. I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for the kindness he showed me”.

➳　factcheck! this is a partial-lie. cas hates this man with a rarely harnessed passion. however, he reluctantly admits that the man’s grating saviour-complex gave cas the opportunity to arrive where he is today.

the candid truth: “My father hoisting me up onto his shoulders, pointing to the stars and telling me that each one represents a wish of mine that will someday come true. It’s a sweet memory, one that only becomes bitter when it’s viewed retrospectively with the knowledge that the very man who told me to wish, was also the one who snuffed out those bright little childish dreams without hesitation”.

[saudadxs]

“If it’s all in my head, then tell me now.” / Claude and Alec

(here) the taylor swift evermore meme - accepting!

They had been playing that same game for far too long now, alec could feel. Actually, he could sense it, every time the two of them were in the same room, alone or together, the tension between them was just too much for them to handle. Maybe he was imagining things, maybe there was just the same old tension coming from Alec himself, after all, it wasn’t an extraordinary fact that he had a crush on Claude, despite the other male hardly ever showed any kind of affection, other than what muggles would call bromance acts, towards him.

Still Alec could feel it, it started with the stupid drunk night the two of them decided to spend the night outside, around the forest’s grounds, just watching the stars. According to a student and according to Claude, they were supposed to have this meteor shower going on and the quidditch field was the perfect spot for that. No one told them they shouldn’t bring alcoholic beverages (but they did) and no one told them they shouldn’t fall asleep tangled, sharing one blanket, whispering nonsense until the other passed out (but Alec did).

After that, Alec could sense Claude’s eyes on him and despite his attempts of ignoring how the hairs in the back of his head would raise as he could feel Claude’s eyes on him, on that day was particularly hard.

Suseong had lost another game and he was feeling rather depressed, he was captain and a seeker, after all, he was supposed to play harder and be better than anyone else but still he lost for some stupid mistake he made, which made it impossibly hard to just accept people’s words of incentive and support.

“If you’re here to act like everyone else, you can leave, thank you.” He sounded harsh and lost at the same time, not looking at Claude, even though he knew those steps belonged to him.

The heavy sigh came from behind him and Alec frowned as he felt Claude’s warmth behind him, the male’s arms enveloping his shoulders from behind, an embrace he didn’t know he needed, the kind of thing that was so Claude he couldn’t help but relax against him.

As if it was meant to be like that.

He fought hard against his conscious that insisted on telling him he didn’t stand a chance, that Claude was being the friend Alec always needed beside him. It made him tense again and Claude probably felt it, because his words just made Alec freeze, not knowing what to say or do.

“It’s time to grant your wish, Alec.”

He turned around immediately, frowning, groundless, being held only by Claude’s arms, as if he was his entire orbit and Claude’s words was gravity, keeping him stable, around him.

“The meteor shower night…” Claude looked surprised and even scared, Alec could read him just as well as his friend could do to himself. “And what you said…”

Alec gulped. It was impossible. No. Claude was sleeping, there was no way he listened to what he said, the way he poured his drunk heart to his sleepy friend. No.

He licked his lips, trying to find the right words to say, maybe he should deny it, should say it was just a joke, but then he remembers what really Claude just said. He was there to grant his wish.

“Claude, I…”

A hand goes from his wait to his lips and Alec closes his eyes with the touch. It’s soft and wanted and everything he ever wished.

“If it’s all in my head, then tell me now.”

The please comes out as a whisper and Alec decides to take that same leap of faith, his hand circling the wrist and now Claude’s hand isn’t on his lips, Alec’s lips is on Claude’s and for the first time in a long time, everything makes sense again.

As it should be.

[croupiex]

a shifter’s fortune — is there anything about your life right now that you wish to change?

the façade: “Given the fair pricing of potatoes, I wish I enjoyed them more than I do”.

➵　factcheck! this is a lie. Cassius has no intention of ever enjoying potatoes. they taste like nothing.

the candid truth: “Well, what can I change? The colour of my hair? My wardrobe? The layout of my bedroom? I don’t have the freedom to make an entire lifestyle change beyond ‘be better’ unless I’m content fucking off and living as a hermit in Umibe”.

[croupiex]

the grin of a high fae — ever done a morally ambiguous (maybe even a crime?) thing that you don’t regret?

the façade: “Oh, well… I don’t think I’ve done anything morally ambiguous really. Perhaps nicking sweets from the kitchens as a child?”

➳　factcheck! this is a lie. cas has done plenty of morally ambiguous things. in fact, cas is currently contemplating asking luke (@lukef) to set his neighbour’s laundry (they hang it out to dry every three days) on fire in the hopes that they get fed up and move out. anything to make the early morning sonnet rehearsals stop.

the candid truth: “One of the earliest card ‘tricks’ I learned was how to hide playing cards up my sleeve. Occasionally Sir would ask me to entertain him and his weekly guests by dealing a game or two, during which I would purposely make him lose. The most he ever lost? An ugly ring he said was more valuable than my life. I didn’t hear the end of it for a month, but it was well worth it”.

[croupiex]

scowls and hidden flasks — is there someone you miss but don’t talk to anymore?

the façade: “No, not particularly. There’s a few people I’m curious about, but no one I miss”.

➳　factcheck! this is true. cas finds it foolish to cut contact with someone you’ll miss later on. and if they’re the one to cut contact with him? no use dwelling on people who have no interest in you – don’t let anyone live in your mind rent free.

the candid truth: “There was an older serf that worked under the same household as I did. They weren’t loving by any measure, but they made the place more tolerable. Not much worth in missing them though. They’re dead, I’ve checked…. Besides, at this point it’s more like I miss the concept of them, not them themselves”.

[croupiex]

wreathed in orange — is there someone you trust so much, you’ll follow them blindly?

the façade: “I trust all my friends very much, I’m confident that they wouldn’t lead me astray. You should trust your friends too, that’s what true friendship is all about, yea?”

➳　factcheck! this is a lie. he may trust his friends, but he would never follow them blindly. that type of behaviour is what gets you killed.

the candid truth: “No. I don’t even trust myself enough to follow my gut. Besides, I’ve already spent (and lost) time as a child following my parents blindly, and I refuse to repeat that. The thought of someone having that much power over me scares me”.

[croupiex]

no winners here — what’s something in your life that’s not great but you’re optimistic about?

the façade: “I suppose I don’t sleep very well, but that’s a pretty common problem isn’t it? My hope is that with a bit of meditation I’ll be able to ease myself into a full night’s sleep”.

factcheck! this is semi-false. while cas may have troubles sleeping, he thinks meditation is a waste of time. “anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is just trying to sell you something”.

the candid truth: “First, optimism is a sickness – extinguish hope early and you just might be able to live a comfortable life. Second, I prefer the term ‘acceptable’ rather than ‘not great’. When ‘not great’ is the norm, it’s better to accept these things as facts of life rather than linger and bemoan how unfair everything is. For example, being human is acceptable. Rephrase the question and come back later”.

[croupiex]

frozen countenance — is there someone you had to cut ties with?

the façade: “I cut ties with my neighbour. Trust me, I really did try to maintain a good relationship with them, but you can only handle listening to poor line recitations from a budding theatre actor at four in the morning for so long”.

➳　factcheck! this is true, simply a little avoidant.

the candid truth: “My mother and father - but I didn’t have an option there, they made it for me. I don’t know if they’re living or if they’re dead, but walking flesh or reclined corpse, I have no plans to reconnect”.

[croupiex]

i mean a lesson in fire

the façade: “No, but that’s a rather romantic idea isn’t it? Compatibility at first sight and all that”.

➳　factcheck! this is a lie. cas doesn’t believe in love or attraction at first sight unless it is purely physical. besides, once again, this is the type of behaviour that gets you killed.

the candid truth: “I’m never ‘me’ when I first meet someone, and it’s near impossible to genuinely ‘click’ with someone when you’re pretending to be someone you’re not. Then again, if you’re both pretending, maybe you can both pretend to ‘click’ with each other. Cute concept”.