#‘how does taako and lucretia’s relationship change in the future’

[jerreeeeeee]

there are always like fandom specific “subgenres” of fic where there are a few really specific questions or big events in canon that a large percentage of fics want to explore. there are a few of these for taz balance fic but one of if not the biggest is “lucretia forgiveness”—which is usually about the question of how taako specifically feels about lucretia’s decisions post canon, and especially whether he forgives her. and while that’s definitely an interesting question, it tends to dominate, and it’s unfortunate because i find barry’s, davenport’s, and especially lup’s responses to lucretia’s decisions far more interesting

[arofili]

Pov

POV — something that’s already happened, retold from another character’s perspective

a snippet from and Love, but Lucretia’s POV:

“Siblings, maybe?” Magnus wonders. After a moment, he pulls a face and shakes his head. “Nah.”

Lucretia nods, staring up into the night sky and remembering with a twinge of sadness the siblings she left behind.

“That doesn’t really capture it, either,” she says. “You all are my family, of course, but it’s not like the family I had back home.” She had two sisters, back on their home plane, but Claudia and Augusta were both much older than her and they’d never been close. Not like she’s close with Magnus.

And she’s been thinking about how close she is to Magnus. They’ve got something special, something that’s got her second-guessing herself sometimes even though she knows they’re both aro. Being siblings, with that kind of a feeling, felt…wrong.

“Yeah,” Magnus says, disturbing her thoughts. “I mean, Taako and Lup are siblings. Duh. And I’m not their brother. Plus, that would be weird with Barry and Lup.”

Lucretia agrees wholeheartedly. “Merle and Davenport are too old to be even sort of like our siblings.” She lets out a snort of laughter. Her sisters back home were older, sure, but not that much older. “And—well, maybe the captain is sort of our dad—” a better one than she’d had back home, that’s for sure— “but he’s also our boss, and also I feel like we know way too many things about Merle’s sex life for him to be anything other than a weird uncle.” At least he wasn’t skeezy about it.

Magnus is quiet for a moment, his nose all scrunched up like it is when he’s thinking, and a wave of affection washes over her. He’s adorable. And just when she thinks that she bites her lip and is glad he’s staring up at the sky and not her face, because that thought is so sappy it hurts.

“They didn’t make words for this kind of a family,” he says at last.

And oh has Lucretia thought about that, for so long, before she ever knew the Starblaster crew. When she was realizing that hey, she didn’t want to get married like her sister Claudia or have kids like her sister Augusta. When she was trying to figure out what kind of family she wanted in the future, and nothing she could imagine made any sense. When a few cycles in she sat crying in her room because she was so confused with what to do with this love she felt for her crew. When she’d done the same thing just a few nights ago because of how deeply she cared for Magnus.

But she doesn’t say any of that. “I can try my hand, if you want,” she says, and she forces a smile onto her face. She’d already tried, a couple dozen times, but even her skills as a wordsmith had failed her.

There was a word she’d known, once. Lucretia is shy, and she was even more shy before this journey began, and she had never been one to attend support groups or meetups for other aros. But that didn’t mean she didn’t read about them and listen to the people who did, and she knew about queerplatonic relationships. For awhile they’d been a distant concept, but now…

Even considering that her feelings for Magnus may be queerplatonic, not romantic after all, left her scared. What if she was being presumptuous? What if he laughed at her? What if he thought the idea was stupid, and that she was being silly?

“You know…” she began, but the words caught in her throat again.

She’d gone over the conversation a thousand times in her head, had almost brought it up just as often. But she always chickened out before saying anything, even when Magnus was so kind and loving with her and listened to her talk about things he only kind of understood and gave her silly gifts and made an effort to keep up with her ever-changing hyperfixations. He made it so clear he loved her, even now as he patiently waits for her to continue, and she’s still scared.

He waits, and keeps waiting, and Lucretia steels herself. Fuck it, she thinks, because if she wants this they’ve got to talk about it at some point and he’s clearly interested in putting words to what he’s feelings, so she might as well provide some.

“There is a words for a relationship that’s not romantic and not familial but also not quite…platonic,” she chokes out.

His eyes light up. “Huh?” he asks, rolling over to look her deep in the eyes, and Lucretia remembers that oh my god Magnus never even had the chance to learn about this stuff. He only realized he was aro because of me. How could I keep this from him?

“It’s an aro word, actually,” she says, and she rolls over to face him, her heart beating like crazy. “Queerplatonic.”

“Huh!” Magnus exclaims. “Queerplatonic. Neat!”

He makes the word sound so simple, so easy, when to Lucretia it was the messiest, most confusing thing in the world. But there’s a rightness and a solidity to his voice, and she feels less like she’s pulling this all out of her ass and more like she’s putting a name to something that’s been at the tip of his tongue this whole time.

Suddenly she’s flooded with relief and she can’t stop talking. “People use it in different contexts,” she says, “But it’s—I don’t know. It’s not something I ever thought I’d relate to, but maybe it would fit in this context. At least—” and she gathers all her courage and ignores the part of her brain that’s shorting out with anxiety— “between me and you.” The words come out softer than she meant them to, and she’s seized with the urge to shut her eyes tight and pretend he’s not there.

But Magnus doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t shoot her down. Instead, he draws her close into a hug and murmurs, “I like it. Suits us.”

The world falls still, or at least Lucretia’s heart does. She can’t find words as a warmth blossoms up within her that makes her feel lighter than she ever has before, filling her with hope and trust and love.

“We’re queer, and we’re family, and friends, and all of the above.” Lucretia can hear the smile in his voice. “Dunno if it fits like, how we relate to Taako and Lup and Barry and all them, ‘specially since it’s an aro word, but I think it’s good for us.”

He might as well have said, Lucretia, I love you in a way that is different from how I love everyone else and I think that’s important and I want you to know that. Because that’s how she’s felt about him, and she was terrified he didn’t feel the same, but now she knows. Well, she’ll ask him in those words later, just to make absolutely sure, but for now…

She opens her eyes and she’s beaming and Magnus is beaming right back and she hugs him tighter and she didn’t think he could say anything more endearing than what he already has but then—

“I love being aro,” he admits, and it sounds like a secret he’s reserved just for her and she melts because yeah, this is his journey but she was an important part of that. “I used to be afraid of it, but like—what the hell is there to be afraid of?”

Sometimes Lucretia is amazed at how deeply her aro experience aligns with his, especially since he’s bi and she’s ace and their questioning experiences were so different. But that hits home.

“I’ve got you everyone forever,” he finishes, and Lucretia remembers just how fucking lucky she is. “Literally.”

“Me too,” she whispers, close to tears, and she thinks back on little baby Lucretia and how terrified she’d felt upon realizing she’d never get the picture-perfect happy ending like her sisters had. She was so proud of that person who’d turned into the Lucretia she was now. “I thought I’d never be happy because I’d never find my soulmate. But that is bullshit. I’ve got something way better.” She leans her head against his chest and she really is crying, isn’t she. Well, why not, after all, because— “I’ve got you.”