#‘that’s what the reverend tells me anyway! I’m fine hahaha’

[aphidclan-clangen]

Ollie how are you ALIVE??.

boy has so much mental illness it’s insane

[voodoorhythmrecords]

Tour Report 2019-South East Asia Tour The Monsters

This is a tour where Greta would Kill us Immediately, 7 flights, around 40'000km in 2.5 weeks, a city with about 7'000'000 mopeds, 26 of them battery operated at most ... I have only seen a few bikes driven by women over 100 years old (at least that).

I am the writer, Reverend Beat-Man, singer and guitarist of THE MONSTERS we have been touring with the New Zealanders THE CAVEMEN trough Vietnam, Taiwan and Japan

 We already did the preliminary work a few years before this tour, we is: Pete Menchetti from Slovenly Records (Sticker Guy) from Reno (USA) ... he calls his series WE'RE LOUD FEST and Swan Lee our drummer both had exchanged about one Trillion mails, made balance sheets, culture suport Letters etc ... Money Zero but Fun= Factor +180 we were lucky to be supported a little bit by Pro Helvetia and the SUISA Fondation with a deficit guarantee (in Switzerland this is possible... thanks to my lovely country)

 On Monday the Nov 19 we flew 12 hours to Vietnam and went in a taxi to Saigon (Ho-Chi-Minh City), in town there are over 7 million (they told me i didn’t count) motor scooters and they drive as it looks like all at the same time like maniacs mostly 2 but also 5 people on it, a huge chaos, everyone drives according to him just so fits first on one lane and then if enough space on the opposite lane as well no rules at all, we thought.. In the beginning it looks ultra chaotic, but i tell you if you make your own chaos music you know the deal, that there is a system in every chaos... so as well on Vietnam's streets... the trick: All vehicles are slow and they never stop, that means the traffic is always running and there is never a jam... unless someone is lying dead on the street... crossing the road as a pedestrian is a big challenge the trick is to never stop while walking Close your eyes and walk slowly in a straight line, then the mopeds will drive around you... if you make a stop or jerky movements you will be knocked over and die on the spot, like in a game, it's very simple

We're Loud Fest

———————

the welcome party was in the club Indika, in the front room a marriage orchestra playing the same shit music like all over the globe, just in vietnamese, in the back room DJ's Pete and Daddy O from Tokyo and as surprise act WASTED PIDO from Venice the One Man Band from the great DESTROY ALL GONDOLAS (Death Metal Surf).

One day later we had a party on an old Vietnamese steamer, the whole vehicle was finely carved out of rosewood and almost collapsed while dancing too wildly, I was allowed to start as REVEREND BEAT-MAN and KING KHAN & BBQ SHOW closed the evening, I can’t say anything about my show because I played it myself but it was fun, my striptease interlude and Tibetan vocal act were i guess a bit too much for them and king khan bbq show had taken over, the 2 were in a great mood and squeezed everything out of the kiddie PA System, the guitar was completely out of tune from the beginning to the end you could even see it as a concept and every line more stupid than the next one it was a great party..  i could hardly enjoy the concert because i stupidly switched to flirt mode and fell in love with all the women on the boat, after an unsuccessful tour we got drunk and at 2am we got into a strange taxi that took us to the hotel with 200 km/h in 3 seconds, the hotel was a family affair, the doors close after 8pm, the mother manager and wife for everything, i fell in love immediately, she had welcomed us, her children and husband and other family members of unknown origin all slept in the lobby under or on the table, temperature was estimated 10000 degrees and they all snuggled up comfortably in the thermo- feather blanket, we switched off the air conditioning for solidarity reason to the Family and Great off course and then got up in the morning in a sweat bath. For Breakfast you drink cold coffee with condensed milk or sit with diarrhoea on the Toilette.

We were lucky to be in Saigon in the un-touristic part (tourists quarter you recognises if it has Mc Donnalds/Starbucks sign… do not go there !! its shit 10 times as expensive, and full of Europeans and ‚i wanna see the amazing world‘ Americans) we walked around in the evening in our quarter and landed in the residential quarter, everyone had the doors far open, a honest driving between all inhabitants (not sexually) was to be observed.. i think loneliness and anti-social behaviour doesn't exist there, or hasn't arrived yet, because it's still something like a communism, an open one, whatever that means, i think when capitalism will take over, it will turn into a big fuck up shit shit hole like everywhere else,I think. Anyway but everybody in Saigon had some kind of business and sells something like living chickens (plucked alive they are then decapitated before the other living chickens ... shock therapy or something i guess) Rolex watches or fine sugar cane juice also skinning cute cuddly dogs is very popular, everything is on the ground and the ice-block supplier cleans his cocktail ice with stones from gutter, washed with stale water that dries quickly in the burning sun.. we have eaten and drunk everything, no matter how bizarre (dog (the one with the short legs, but no poodles) to the sky like rotten dicks stinking fruits and fermented fish) thanks to the demand we are still alive, and happier than ever.

  On Saturday was the official festival start which ended one day later, many bands from the Asian region played, among others URGENT MATTER from Singapore I and all others Loved them very much, super cool old school hard core punk style, without stupid jumping around in ’shorts’. the songs are about 30 seconds and then one minute break because the singer tried to say something in English REIGN IN SLUMBER from Cambodia crusts Metal Punk super trash and the Ueber Hammer the same with DISTRICT 105 (Saigon) the headliner of the evening was CUT LON from Hanoi also known as Picachu Band, Hard Core, with official jumping and macho arm contortions and those Short Long shorts.. the shit ones, I think they are relatively famous and were not very friendly to us, that’s probably why, on the same evening THE CAVEMEN first with their country n western set THE VETERAN OUTLAW on the roof terrace, then as a complete band of Super Retards in the club, and like every evening and every time I saw them the kicked so much but that there was no butt anymore, Early Stooges paired with Glitter Punk and GG Allin, completely stupid and horny, everything is possible and everything they do especially drinking and taking drugs, THE TEWWZERS from Tokyo ex Teenegenerate, Power Pop high-flyers I have unfortunately missed because I was flirting, what one from Hawaii and her girlfriend from Brooklyn i think ajajaj... but all of them said they were great, THE CARRISON from Malaysia we met at dinner is Punk Rock'n'Roll and then TOTAL CONTROL from Australia from the asylum escaped Kraut Rocker and punks on LSD played with violins and flute but they also had problem with the 15 buck guitar amp for the estimated 100th time because there is no equipment in Vietnam, everything has to be ordered somehow PA amps etc.. and things like that are very hard to find and the equipment is not made for Rock'n'roll... rather for cuddle karaoke or Wedding Bands, at the end of the Night the: STOMPIN' RIFFRAFFS from Tokyo and they ruled the party, rock'n'roll covers with a Japanese attitude, piano and a theremin player who masturbated on stage in fishnet stockings. and i fell in love again, we (the Monsters) played as well, it was great, but i never get much out of it, because i'm playing... but i remember we played a piece in slow motion (sounds as stupid as it is)

 We had to leave Saigon with a weeping eye and flew to Hoi An, Central Vietnam, We played again together with the Cavemen in a beach bar, because in Hoi An there are seldom or never concerts, they had problems to find a guitar and bass amp, the guitar amp was the size of a toaster, and with the bass amp they said it was the only one in Hoi An, we should pay attention and the Cavemen took it very seriously hahaha. in the middle of the show the guitarist came up with the great idea to do a somersault from the table down to the stage, in his imagination he would then land heroically on both feet and end up in the greatest guitar solo the world ever has seen, in reality he got stuck in a roof batten when he jumped off and a somersault turned into a New Zealand Meat bag that hit the floor and in between hit his backside of the head and the blood pulsating spurted out, the guitar head was broken off, luckily a doctor was there (someone who had read a book about a doctor) and everything turned out fine, after I fell in love with the hotel manager we went to Hanoi in the north of Vietnam at 5am, there it is much more communist, that means more bourgeois, you have to start haggling and so on.. we were too much overweight and they wanted a horrendous amount of money from us ... and we as honest and sincere Swiss were shocked and wanted to pay until Pete came and handed over 50Euros in his passport to the employee and everything was done with a friendly smile, Anyway I think I will never learn such a thing, I am too honest for me it is so embarrassing, I would like as well to be a little bit spoiled and and do bad things like all the others.

 In Hanoi we then played in the first "real" club... with PA, a Soundmann Stagehands light and drum carpet etc

We played with EYEHATEGOD from New Orleans (USA) who I thought was OK but didn't knock my socks off, was a bit cool and serious and the whole thing and somehow wasn't dangerous at all, they were super cool guys except the singer, I think he's famous or something (back in switzerland i googld them and yes the are famous and i even have a record in my collection) anyway. my favourite band was TIMEKILLER from Saigon which is like Zeni Geva but on speed punk... so fucking cool and terrable loud they dont even have songs its just stupid and loud.. something… then I fell in love (one sided) with the singer's girlfriend and couldn't think anymore, the evening ended with a booze party and with noodle soupe and 2h sleep until the next flight to Taiwan.

 Taipei is so Ultra Modern you won't believe it and you feel like a Swiss postcard mountain farmer, and the people Ultra Intelligent and also intellectually inspiring, ASA our Taiwan Manager, was beautiful as a picture and an organisational talent, photographer and main professional photo model, and multilingual of course. the Revolver Club was then also a regular club and as Taiwan is close to Japan, fans from Japan came to the show and we realised that we were back in civilisation. Records sign good backline, ATM's and Mexican food, unfortunately BB BOMB (taiwan girl punk band) had to cancel their concert because the singer got sick, but the whole band including the singer was present... maybe they were just too nervous you never know, but L-SCHEMA played, noise crusted punk of the local town with a drummer who hammers the beat with his lead foot in the fast lane, no sex and without any feeling, just go for it stupid punk as we love it, we finally arrived in the tour and gave our best concert so far I think, it was just dirty diarrhoea coming out of my mouth and it was a lot of fun, also for the Cavemen, whose guitarist played now on a Taiwanese cheap guitar played and gave everything and much more, the people were enthusiastic, I asked around about the situation with China and so, they said that they were all afraid of what zz going on in Hong Kong at the moment, because the origin of the whole problematic is in Taiwan, but they are mainly afraid of the Chinese spies who spy in Taiwan and no one can talk free from the liver.. everything is a little bit tense the whole thing I think and makes me worried, they are beautiful great people.

 Then we were allowed to sleep for 3 hours and off to the plane to Nagasaki in Japan, where we were warmly welcomed by a punk grandmother (Kaori, our Japanese tour manager) and a Japanese 30's swing cowboy who turned out to be a fan of the Monsters and in real life is a real estate agent, and I was happy to be in my beloved Japan.

 The Beta Club is small but nice, I forgot with which bands we played together, I was so tired from not sleeping and still had the Taiwanese tour manager in my head, but we went by bus in the early morning to Tokyo, my musicians told me this was the best trip of their lives, rice fields, remote villages, picture Beautiful landscapes women with strange Hats and Japanese folk music etc, I have unfortunately completely overslept the whole trip, do not even know if we flew again or not, a complet Black out.. sorry readers.

In Tokyo we were welcomed we gods and were allowed to play 2x in the Heavy Sick Club and our old friend Mr Dead at the cash desk gave us free drinks the whole night, the first evening my favourite Japanese One Man Band KATZGRAIS (Tokyo) played who is also a guitar builder and introduced his invention of the shovel guitar, after that he also played with his psychobilly band THE PSYCLOCKS , on the same evening we had PHANTOM TIKIRARZ a surf band with masks on the program after that i leaned towards the sake on ice and hot and MADPPETS entered the stage this is like Addams Family music but punk and sex, first i fell in love with their music then with the bass player and finally with the organ player and flirted it into the floor after the concert, on drums was Yuki Kono from the legendary THEEE BAT (Mika Bat †) but my complete favourite was HASIL NUTS from Tokyo with our tour manager Kaori on drums, the whole band can't play at all they are terrable great, Kaori (drums) is somehow hitting the drums without any concept, the guitarist is very concentrated and messes up everything and the other guitarist who would actually be the drummer is shrinking and just making pointless noises, the singer wears a net stocking full body dress and around his loins an apron made of nuts and sings 'king of the laod' the sound settles down, to a David Lynch movie but even weirder paired with The Legendary Stardust Cowboy, can you follow? that was awesome, we (the Monsters) played great and the people were almost freaking out, so did the Cavemen, the same evening THE FADAWAYS played they famous in Europe (soundflat records) and are super killer back from the Grave Garage Fuzz Punk.

 We invested our last money in food and useless Japan junk, on the return flight we had again huge problems checking in the guitar cases into the plane (SWISS) they were 7cm too big and they made a huge drama, they charge 300euro more per guitar and we almost went crazy, already completely blank and so on, then we fell asleep in the plane completely exhausted.

 My conclusion is that I had a huge after tour blues, not like normal, it was much bigger, and had to do with how the Vietnamese live together, talk and function, all doors open and treat everybody as equal, had reminded me of my time in the Squats i lived in and how much I miss it and how I hate to live in a society where people work against each other and not with each other.. i also know that what is here will also come there and i am so sorry for that i hope you learn to appreciate what you have and that not having more is more... yes less is more, but im a Dreamer and live in Utopia

 anyway i love you Vietnam i love you Taiwan and i love you japan and i hope to come back soon and i am very proud that my stupid music works there too, thanks

 Links

Guitara Kyo (Japan) https://youtu.be/LAFPnH5Blak

Urgent Matter (Singapur) https://youtu.be/xOp1qSr1A3w

Reign in Slumber (Cambodia) https://youtu.be/NEwjni4tXvY

District 105 (Saigon) https://youtu.be/npft6MHufqc

Timekiller (Saigon) https://youtu.be/bAAkwYqTN1o

Cut Lon (Hanoi) Picachu band https://youtu.be/lhOxr6v_Gvk

the Tewwzers (Tokyo) Teenegenerate, power pop https://youtu.be/zJbgHBpXXVo

the Carrison (malaysia) https://youtu.be/EXenEY8-Fu8

Total Control (Australia) https://youtu.be/RYrME08UPE0

the Cavemen (NZ) the Veteran Outlaw https://youtu.be/67dJ-E61AcY

Stompin' RiffRaffs (Tokyo) https://youtu.be/j4v2FjIxNLQ

BB Bomb (taiwan) https://youtu.be/SYXu7eSIjJg

L-Schema (Taiwan) https://youtu.be/bcNHGc7OAJM

Phantom tikirarz (japan) https://youtu.be/kBprrMnYuVk

Madppets (Japan) https://youtu.be/dvmlzZr-Kjk

The Psyclocks (Japan) https://youtu.be/znIWURke2zw

Katzgrais (Japan) https://youtu.be/QkSIShkPI8Y

Wasted Pido (italy) https://youtu.be/k5JuVA7RJn4

the Fadaways (Japan) https://youtu.be/yT62UfKbBlg

Hasil Nuts (Japan) https://youtu.be/-kOUHDJbcSo

Eyehategod ( usa) https://youtu.be/VepTkVmh-WA

King Khan & BBQ Show (CAN) https://youtu.be/LpA7I8SpkxQ

Reverend Beat-Man (CH) https://youtu.be/zUlCyhpovjE

the Monsters (CH) https://youtu.be/zs7CQBHyo3Y

 19.11 - Flug CH - Saigon

22.11 - Saigon - Indochine Junk Boat Cruise

23+24.11 - Saigon - Arcan (Vietnam)

26.11 - Hoi An - Soul Beach/Hon Bien (vietnam)

28.11 - Hanoi - Hanoi Rock City (vietnam)

29.11 - Taipei - Revolver (thaiwan)

30.11 - Nagasaki - Beta (japan)

1+2.12 - Tokyo - Heavy Sick Club (japan)

4.12 - Flug Tokyo-CH