#…I forgot a finger… I’m gonna commit arson.

[roadkillcoffee]

Barbatos is my wife I love him

[ickymichi]

𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐑 𝐂𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑

various haikyuu boys x reader

<3 includes: iwaizumi hajime, miya osamu, matsukawa issei, hanamaki takahiro, kuroo tetsurou

<3 things to know: set in the timeskip

<3 warnings: swearing

<3 note: i should be writing more important things, but they can wait. REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED <3 <3

© all contents belongs to k1ttykawa 2021. please do not repost/modify on this or any platform.

𝐢𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐳𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐞

.: you better pray mf will make you a victim.

.: his car is his pride and joy pls.

.: this how it go:

“remember 9:00 tomorrow nice n’ early” iwaizumi told you while leaning across the console. “I know haji, I know. I gotta go love you!” “love yo-” mf didn’t even get to finish the sentence just got faced with you slamming the door with all your might. “OI! (Y/N)!” you quickly turn around to see him in the same position but his facial expressions make it look like he’s about to commit arson. He ushers you back with a flick of his head and rolls down the passenger window. “open the door and close it again” You look at him confused but do what he says anyways, again slamming it. “PROPERLY THE FUCK?!” “I am doing it properly!” “NO YOURE FUCKING SLAMMING IT!” boy looked like he was about to flip the lid so you had to cave in and tell him it was a prank. Was not a happy camper and drove off with his middle finger out the window. But after texted you saying he loves u 🥺

𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮

.: my baby pls.

.: he had a long ass day at work and is just trying to get to his bed.

.: so when he tries to tell you goodbye love you blah blah and is met with a slam of his car door he Is literally like 🧍‍♀‍ tf?.

When you slammed the door and walked away trying not to burst out laughing the sound of his voice calling your name made you turn to face him face him. He rolled down his window to stick his head out and was like “are you okay?”pls someone my heart. “yeah i’m fine, why?” you ask tight lipped and holding back laughter. “I dunno, ya just slammed the daylights outta my door. Thought somethin’ might be wrong” you literally couldn’t hold back anymore, had to take him out of his misery. “‘m sorry ‘samu i was just pranking you, but you were too sweet I couldn’t keep going.” To your surprise he started laughing with you and thought it was pretty funny.

𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐢

.: this could go two ways really.

.: if it’s you that does it he’s like hey now don’t hurt the goods.

.: if it’s one of the boys, they catching multiple of his fists

.: wait okay setting!! Mf sitting with one arm across the wheel, yk that seggsy thing ppl do? Yeah that. N the other elbow on the console his fist holding up his head . Okay setting finish.

“So you coming over later yeah?” he asked watching you gather your things to leave. “of course, just-” “yes makki is at work don’t worry, we’ll be alone” he butt in already knowing what you’d say. “okay then i’ll see you then love you!” “yep love you to-” you literally slammed it as hard a you could and walked off. Not hearing a reaction you look back and see him sitting leant over the console as he was waiting for a little goodbye kiss and was met with the slam of the door. He rolled down your window and asked, “how cruel of you to leave me without a kiss and slam my door.” You held back a laugh and opened back up the door to place a peck on his lips and shuffled back out, once again slamming the door. “(y/n)” you heard him through the open window. He now had a serious look on his face and was staring right at you. “watch it yeah? Know your all strong but don’t want you breaking my poor baby.”

𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨

.: this fucker is about to be facing my slander once again😭

.: I love him I swear I do

.: but if you try slam is door there’s a very high chance shit is just gonna fall off.

.: would get so heated cause he knows it’s falling apart and it’s not cheap to fix.

He had parked up outside mcdonald’s and you said you’d go in to get the food, after a small bit of bickering from him. “be careful yeah? Just call me if some weirdo tries anything, these aren’t just for show baby.” He told you while flexing his biceps and kissing each one. You laughed at his silly antics and pushed the door open to get out. You swung your arm back and used as much force as you could to slam the door. The scream he let out could probably be heard from inside the restaurant as well as your laughter that you just couldn’t contain. “the fuck was that for?!” he shouted in distress while getting out to check if there was any serious or even minor damage. “what are you on about? I didn’t do anything” you argued and watched him bent down and inspected the car. Whipping his head to where you stood above him he let out a noise of disbelief “didn’t do anything?! You nearly took the fucking thing off the hinges!” he shouted again and stood back up with a hand on his forehead. “one of these days I swear, your gonna give me a heart attack.”

𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐮

.: pls do not slam his car door, for your own sake.

.: he will drop dead on the spot

.: you don’t think his ass wouldn’t own a sports car with all that bank?

.: think again my friend.

He was dropping you off at work after you went to lunch with him for your break. “alright, see you when i’m picking you up yeah?” he said parking the car outside the building. “mmhh i’ll see you then tetsu, love you.” Kissing his cheek and stepping out of the car slamming it on your way. at first he couldn’t even shout or call you out his face and heart just dropped on the spot. “hey hey hey (y/n)! get back here!” he shouted and unbuckled his seatbelt for some reason. “what’s wrong did I forget something?” you asked faking your innocence to the distressed man while opening the door again. “yeah you forgot this costs more then the fucking house, careful with the door okay?” “oh yeah sorry, okay then i’ve to go!” you quickly responded and once again, slammed the door before quickly walking off while laughing. He rolled down his window and stuck his head out while yelling out to you, “your fucking getting it when I pick you up!”

-end <3

[radiorenjun]

I just rewatched crazy rich asians and a sudden scenario popped up in my head lol. Can you do a nct dream reaction to you coming from an insanely rich fam but you did not tell them after years of being together (like they thought you were poor) I really like your fics uwuu💗luv youuu🥺

God now this is making me want to watch Crazy Rich Asians. Anyways.

Mark Lee

You both have been dating since your first year in college. The day you told him you were the daughter of one of the most successful people in the country, his jaw dropped. I mean, considering how you live in a small apartment back when you two were in your early years of dating.

He remembers the day your mother decided to visit the two of you to meet Mark for the first time. Your mother was a very famous and inspiring talk show host and your father was the owner of a very well known hospital. You could barely hold back your laughter when you saw him practically try to scoop his jaw back up when he watched your mother walk out of a Tesla X car.

"You're (Y/M/N)'s daughter? One of the richest people in the industry?!" Mark exclaimed exasperatedly a few minutes after your mother left. Your mother had brought over fancy seafood with some rare caviar and 24k gold pieces sprinkled on top for dinner. 'I wanted to make a good first impression' she said with a casual shrug as you all sat at your dining table.

"Uh... I wouldn't consider myself rich, persay" you laughed. "Oh my god, you're the daughter of one of the most famous talk shows in the industry." Mark dramatically collapsed on the couch, his hand came up to cup his mouth dramatically as if he just found out you were secretly an alien disguised as Michael Jackson.

"Oh come on, it's not that of a big deal, Mark." you whined, sitting beside him and shaking his arm. "Chenle is probably richer than me," you added as you placed a peck on his cheek as he sighed. "I guess you're right."

"Can I ask you something, though?" he muttered, leaning his head against yours as you leaned against his shoulder. You hummed in response, moving your hand to play with his fingers. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked in a small voice, a pout evident on his lips.

You pondered for a moment before shrugging, "I don't know, I wanted to tell you at first when we started dating but then I forgot bout it. I rarely call my parents since they're so busy," you smiled sheepishly at him.

"That explains the Rolex watch you gave me for Christmas," he uttered. "Okay, for the record, those were from my own savings!" you shot back defensively with a laugh, smacking his arm gently. "Oh so now you're bragging bout being rich," he teased.

Huang Renjun

You were both planned on going to a an art gallery date Renjun found on the internet for your two year anniversary. What you didn't know was that the gallery he was talking bout was actually one of your grandfather's art gallery. It was safe to say that the poor boy was practically trying to scoop his jaw back up when he saw the owner of the gallery he saw online giving you a big hug.

You were surprised his jaw was still intact with his face when you told him that the owner was your grandfather. He then remembered the time when you told him your grandfather really like to paint alot, hence your magnificent talent that landed you in a scholarship with one of the biggest art colleges in the country.

“So, your grandfather owns like, what, ten galleries all over the country?” Renjun gaped as you walked side by side down the halls filled with paintings after you introduced him to your grandfather. You shrugged sheepishly, staring up at one of the paintings, swinging your intertwined hands as you walked.”Does this mean you’re like rich? Crazy rich?” Renjun added.

“You’re blowing this out of proportion.” You chuckled, watching Renjun give you a blank stare. “I’m not! I’m just in shock that my girlfriend’s family are aristocrats and could end my life in a heartbeat!” he exclaimed, causing you to let out a soft laugh.

“I’m not necessarily rich like that. But I will inherit all this when my grandfather retires.” You shrugged. “Damn, I never thought I’d be dating a billionaire. This seems like an unexpected climax of a really weird movie” he muttered, running his thumb over your knuckles as you giggled.

“We’re not billionaires, you drama queen. Why does it matter to you anyways if my family’s kinda wealthy?” you raised your brow with a teasing grin, making your boyfriend let out a scoff. “It makes me seem like a peasant standing next to you, your highness,” he rolled his eyes in a sardonic tone. You laughed, smacking him lightly on his arm as you gave him a soft peck on his cheek.

“At least you’ll be my peasant.”

“That sounds like you bought me off of an auction for slavery. I didn’t know you were this kinky, Y/N.”

“Don’t make me dump you on our second anniversary in front of my grandfather, Huang.”

Lee Jeno

He really didn’t see this coming. One year and seven months ago, you seem like the average college student joining sororities to not spend as much money, like he did. You seemed like the average broke college student, spending your days eating cheap ramen from the supermarket, making chocolate truffles with a coffee maker and trying out those Buzzfeed videos where they make three full course meals using house hold items.

Hell, even your friends didn’t know bout this. Well, maybe they did. But nothing would prepare Lee Jeno the absolute shock he was bout to feel when he found out that you and your older sibling owned a really fancy five star hotel that seems only celebrities went to. Hell, you even had your own personal presidential suite and an infinity pool!

“How did you even get money to pay for all this?” Jeno gaped as he entered the room, putting his bag on the chair beside the door that looks as if it costed more than his own life. It probably did, though.”Uh...” you bit your lip as you heard a loud booming voice yell out your name.

“Baby sis!”

Jeno’s eyes were wide and filled with surprise as he saw someone who could’ve been mistaken as the president’s child come up and give you a big hug and a pinch on the cheeks. “Is this the Jeno you’ve been talking bout to mom and dad? Quite the charmer, I’d say,” your sibling grinned, as Jeno stretched his hand out and introduced himself, masking his confusion with a light smile.

Jeno politely asked who this person who had their arm slung over your shoulder and pinching your cheeks red, causing your sibling to laugh. “You really went all out with the broke college act to the point you just don’t mention your own family anymore, huh?” they laughed. Jeno was beyond astonished to find out that your parents were extremely loaded that they bought a really expensive hotel for vacation purposes just for you and your relatives to use.

Turns out you had a whole broke college student act to discover a new lifestyle out of the rich and easy one. Plus, you really liked interacting with people, hence why you joined a sorority. Jeno would eventually get over it after you explained everything, still baffled that his girlfriend had the money to pay child support for his great great grandchildren.

“Am I in heaven?” Jeno jokes as he ran his hand over his wet hair, watching you get into the tub with him, holding a fancy cup filled with wine. “Don’t get used to it, Lee. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Tomorrow it’ll be back to making poached salmon in a coffee maker.” You laughed, taking a sip of your wine as you snuggled closer to his chest.

“Good to know, nothing has changed. Despite having a girlfriend that could cover my future descendants expenses.”

“You’re really not letting this go, are you?”

“You can’t blame a man for overthinking. Oh god, the day I’ll be meeting your parents would probably be equivalent to meeting the King and Queen of England.”

Lee Donghyuck

Precious boy would be shocked but not that shocked. You get me?

He’s gonna act all dramatic at first, putting a hand on his chest how you just told him this big thing bout yourself after a year of dating. He found out through a really unexpected meetup with your parents, jaw gaping once he found out that both of your parents are rich ceo’s of really big insurance companies. 

Apparently, your parents decided to pick you up for a small vacation to Paris. Being the extras that they are, they made an extravagant dramatic entrance in your multimillion limo, offering Hyuck a ride home in the process. Lowkey the whole car ride was him just being so speechless that you, yourself was surprised to see your usually goofy and loud boyfriend so silent and speechless.

Low key he felt kinda insecure now that he’s met your parents. What if they don’t like him because they thought he wasn’t good enough to be a part of their family? Or rich enough to even be your boyfriend. Though the light conversation your mother had sparked up eased him, feeling relieved that at least your mom liked him, despite your dad being to busy with work to even spare him a glance instead of looking up from his laptop.

The next time you meet up was on a cafe date three days afterward. “I can’t believe I just met your richass parents.” was the first thing he said to you that day. You cackled at his horrified expression as he stares at you as if he had committed arson, chewing his muffin softly as he spoke.

“Relax you big baby, they like you already. They thought you were nice and polite, and quiet.” that last part sounds so wrong you instantly gulped down your milkshake. “If only they knew how much sorcery you have to make me still date you despite how you act like a worm on a heatstroke.” you shuddered.

He let out a sarcastic laugh in response, shoving what’s left in his pistachio muffin into your mouth to shut you up. You giggled, humming at the taste as your boyfriend chuckled.There was a brief moment of silence as you chewed the rest of his muffin before Donghyuck spoke up.

“I never thought my life would come to the day where I have a girlfriend who has a possible chance of being my Sugar Mommy.”

“LEE DONGHYUCK!”

Na Jaemin

He wouldn't be that surprised, really. Finding out that you’re the daughter of a famous k-drama director was quite unexpected considering he was the casted as the main character of this k-drama meaning he had to work harder to make your dad like him. He was beyond astonished to find you visiting the studio with your mother to celebrate your parent’s anniversary in a really expensive Korean Barbeque restaurant that seems even Lee Sooman couldn’t afford to get in.

After finding out Jaemin was THE Na Jaemin you were dating, your parents invited him to join you and your family for dinner. He was a nervous wreck in front of your parents. Not only they were successful and could get him kicked out of the role in a heartbeat if he didn’t make a good first impression, they were rich too. If he plans to marry you, he’s gonna have to be praying to God that this dinner goes smoothly.

Lowkey the thought of you being rich didn’t faze him that much but he was worried your parents might not approve of him considering he wasn’t as successful as they were. Of course, with the constant habit of bringing him up during family dinners that you had developed, they were quite happy to see such a sweet caring boy had the possibility of being their son-in-law.

Believe me, it was their words, not mine.

“MOM! You can’t say things like that!” you whined, burying your head in your hands as he giggled, his hold on your other hand tightening under the table. “What? You two are already in a committed relationship for fourteen months already, and you’re still in that honeymoon phase, unlike your father here who acts as if I was the bane of his existence.” your mother jokes.

“That’s because you are.” you father teased. “Jaemin is a nice boy, having him as a son in law would be great addition to the family.” he added as your face flushed red even more when you felt Jaemin squeeze your hand. Jaemin had a wide smile displayed on his face, his own cheeks flushed red at your parent’s words.

“Maybe one day,” he smiled to himself as he stared at your whole embarrassed being sitting in front of your millionaire parents.

Zhong Chenle

I need more Chenle gifs. Anyways

Most definitely will plan to buy the whole SM Entertainment with you to prevent mistreatment for his foreign hyungs and dongsaengs. Honestly it’s just gonna be so funny for him to find out that you were from a wealthy family as well. No wonder you could afford the latest Dior bag the moment it got released, and bought him the limited edition of the latest Kingdom Hearts game.

At some point of his life, he thought you were secretly stealing money from the bank or something. He found out when he visited your hometown for the first time for a Summer Tour. He didn’t think he’d be staying at a private mansion-like villa. Of course, you invited the other Dream members to stay over so their manager wouldn’t have to struggle with finding a super expensive hotel with high level security.

From then on, every special event is like a gift-giving competition to see either who bought the most items or the most expensive one to make the other feel guilty.

“No. You didn’t.” you gasped, glaring at your boyfriend who just grinned mischievously, despite the fact that he had bought so much stuff that he doesn’t even remember which gift that was. “I did,” he grinned proudly as he watched you pull out those aesthetic acrylic photos with a spotify link on the top from tiktok. “Dammit, you beat me to it.” you pouted, pulling a shopping bag from your side of gifts to pull out an acrylic stand of the two of you on your first date with your shared playlist link on spotify on it.

“That’s so sweet, y/n. I love it, even thought you practically lost this one.” he grinned cheekily. “Lost?” you raised your brows, questioningly. "Honestly, this feels more of a competition than an endearing moment to remember," you mused.

"Not my fault you spoiled me, it's only fair if I spoil you back." Chenle laughed. "What kind of girlfriend I would be if I didn't spoil my hard working boyfriend?" you grinned, letting out a small giggle afterwards as you pulled out another shopping bag from your side to give to your loving boyfriend.

"A rich one," Haechan muttered as he entered the room.

Park Jisung

The day he found out you were loaded was the day he finally got to sleepover at your house when he got a clear schedule. In your 8 months of dating, you two never got to hang out in your house as you both were too busy with your own things to even have a decent date without instant ramen and 6 other males involved.

He expected you to live in a normal minimalistic house. You've sent him hilarious pictures of yourself posing dramatically in your living room with the caption, 'paint me like one of your French girls' at the bottom. He knew you had some kind of minimalistic house with the beige couch and potted plants in the background.

But the picture on his phone was nothing compared to the reality of what your house actually looked like. He swore the entrance to your house was almost four times larger than his own size, and that's saying something. Poor boy was practically trying to scoop his jaw back up when he saw the gigantic chandelier hovering over the two of you in the living room.

"How are you not scared of being crushed by glorious diamonds every day?" was what he said when you dragged him to your room with his eyes lingering on the gigantic chandelier and your fingers wrapped around his wrist. You laughed, shrugging as you pulled him through the long hallway filled with gigantic frames of you and your family.

When he entered you bedroom, he practically dropped his dufflebag to the floor. "I brought my pillow for nothing then," Jisung gaped as he saw your king-sized bed that could fit three or possibly four people. "Are you sure you're not some aristocrat? You're basically living off of the We Boom era," Jisung chuckled incredulously as he watch you collapse on your bed.

"Excuse me, Mr. Idol At Thirteen. You're way more richer than I am," you giggled as Jisung walked over and slumped on the bed beside you, humming at the fluffiness of your freshly washed sheets. "That's clearly inaccurate, y/n. I feel offended you never told me that you're basically a billionaire," Jisung pouted jokingly.

You rolled your eyes, "shut up, Park. I live off of instant noodles and homemade omelettes, I'm no different from you." you booped Jisung's nose, causing him to scrunch up his face in an adorable manner. He looked up to see the paintings of baby angels on your ceiling, it was like some kind of museum.

"I bet you secretly have 60 credit cards in your wallet." he mumbled to himself, eyes still staring at you in disbelief as you gave him an incredulous expression. "Jisung. I'm not that rich, really." you deadpanned, "you saved me from going broke by refusing my offer to pay on dates." you joked.

Jisung laughed, "watch what you're saying, y/n. I don't think I'm ever paying for our dates ever again after this sleepover," he pointed a finger at you. You rolled your eyes, pushing his finger away from your face as you continued to bask in each others presence.

"Does this mean you're finally gonna let me pay though? I'm ordering pizza."

"Not happening, L/N."

A/n: IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I PROCRASTINATE ALOT IM SORRY THIS WAS SO BAD I-

[expositionaljazzskeleton]

the gangsey as things my friends have said

gansey

"those bees have balls!"

"the West Virginian mountains could fuck me"

"pack the wife and kids and go watch Mt. St. Helena erupt"

"Just let the fingers have a little dancing fun!"

"He does not need a straw to drink his chair"

"Uranium can't be transuranium... unless it wants to be and that's fine"

"My favorite amusement park: Seven Flags"

"I love the sound of smooth jazz and distant screaming"

"Do you wanna consider the lobster?"

"My elbows need some windshield wipin, if ya know what I mean"

"no, [Blue], I'm not gonna do a line of smarties off of your buttcrack"

"Its time to brush the tiny orange. go to college."

"stop infecting me with your lesbian coldness"

"what the fuck? it's not even whale time!"

ronan

"The rectangle and the rhombus fell in love and made a baby named the square and then they eventually commited suicide"

"Blue highlighters will never amount to anything"

"Fine print is for wimps"

"Have fun getting shanked by the bathroom clown"

"If I have a kid their middle name will be dragonfucker2000"

"Just casual arson, I guess"

"Javelin throw [Noah] out the window"

"If you give the baby LSD maybe it'll be happy"

"I wanna see an emu with a gun"

"The waters turning the whales gay. no wonder they're eating our plastic"

"The best way to ask someone's sexuality: what's your favorite flavor of crotch?"

"bikes are causing discrepancies amongst the skeleton mating habits"

"Juice is temporary. Sauce is forever. My brother said that. he's dead now. the juice got him"

"live your best life. eat your own ass"

adam

"facial absorption of math"

"I learned mama, dada, and the distributive property"

"Why am I not making enough good meat hunk sauce???"

"Everyone is just an allele goodwill"

"The shamrock shake gave me ptsd"

"Wait, there are recipes in the bible?"

"Heroine is not a bird"

"We're having a sauce crisis!!!"

"Y is bisexual. Y-sexual. It goes both y-s"

"I need some barbeque sauce to drown my math problems"

"Have a vengeance against the sight reading. This piece killed your father."

"don't upset sister scantron"

"911 YES HEWWO??!?!"

"my sexuality is Nickelodeon slime"

"what, you have boneless water where you live like some fancy person?"

"I don't deserve fingers"

"who tried to assassinate my pear??"

noah

"I want a Graham cracker taped to a rock as my tombstone"

"What flavor is your bus?"

"The city is very city. Very, very cultures."

"I forgot to water my baguette!"

"Trains are just worms!"

"You're just like leech, and I'm just like LEECH"

"How am I supposed to fall on my face if there is no worm?"

"Dying alone, GONG. Now there's a bell in your head."

"Chickens are fine. I don't think they have feelings."

"I shall always be loved for my corn bones"

"Sticks is a spectator sport"

"is the thumb no longer crunchy?"

"tea? Like, slurp slurp???"

"Alright. Lime screaming over"

"Martha Speaks wrote James and the Giant Peach"

blue

"you must have the highest knees"

"My leg is not the Protestant Reformation"

"TV static, yum!"

"I promise I will never call you a beanie bitch"

"Spanish colonists were furries confirmed"

"Its called a prayer circle, dumbass"

"You can't force your granola culture on me!"

"Rainforest won't make you feel bad about yourself"

"I'm just an intern stripper"

"The spinoff of Five Nights at Freddies: Four Nights at a Hotel Somewhere"

 "you put the 'hobo' in 'chobani'"

"What's it called... English? is it English? fuck English"

"keep it in, walrus man"

"You don't tell a lady to keep her spear in the trunk"

"are you an athlete or a mathlete? I'm a bitch"

"this is discrimination against string instrument players and lesbians!!!"

"how do you smoke weed? oh you SMOKE it!"

henry

"Now I'm definitely not voting for you because you stole my tangerine"

"Are you implying that all other spas are run by robots?"

"The sun..... cannot slide"

"Out of all the animals that would dab, the Clydesdale horse is not one of them"

"Thymine is a power bottom"

"Only white people are legally allowed to play ultimate frisbee"

"I wanna get jumped by second graders"

"No! Rice crispies baby daddy!"

"That ladybug is thirsty AF"

"duck shit? that's hot"

"there's a lot more gay popes than I thought"

"government funded orgies"

"I don't know what God tastes like but pussy tastes like good fuckin food"

"remember that thing we did yesterday? yeet the moon"

"hell yeah ladies get on this scarf dick"

"have you ever seen the human centipede?? THAT WOULD BE THE BEST ORAL SEX EVER!!!"

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 116: Prison Chat

Previously on BnHA: We took a break from the U.A. kids and their provisional license exam antics and got a whole chapter from Twice’s point of view. He has a fucked up backstory which involves him cloning himself and then his clones all battling for dominance and murdering each other, and now it’s just him left and he’s not even sure if he’s the original. We also learned that Endeavor is not exactly winning people over as the new number one hero, and most people are either underwhelmed or openly creeped out by him. Meanwhile, emboldened villains feel increasingly comfortable committing petty crimes in broad daylight and teaming up now that All Might isn’t around. A new group of villains lead by a dude named Overhaul committed some light dismemberment and arson, and it looks like Twice is thinking about recruiting them to the League. Finally, we cut to a max security prison where All Might is apparently meeting with the imprisoned All for One to “settle things” omgggggggg.

Today on BnHA: All Might asks All for One about Tomura and about what he was planning. All for One is predictably unhelpful and says that Tomura is working on his own now. They have an admittedly fascinating discussion about why All for One decided to groom a successor after being injured by All Might. AFO then expertly provokes All Might by speculating about the chaotic state of the outside world with startling and annoying accuracy. He taunts All Might about being frustrated and powerless. All Might says he knows that AFO was planning to have Tomura kill both him and Deku. He says he won’t let that happen, and that no matter how many evil schemes AFO hatches, he will always be there to crush them. Back at the fanfic dorms, the kids of 1-A wind down as they excitedly await the start of the new semester. Bakugou comes up to Deku and tells him to meet him outside later and that “it’s about your quirk.”

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 151 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.

**There are spoilers in this recap for chapter 131, which has not yet aired in the anime.** These spoilers are tagged as always, but take heed.)

BAKUGOUUUUUUU

“the noble beast of class 1-A” lol wtf

“Tartarus Greeting” isn’t that like the Greek hell

WE ONLY HAVE THREE MORE CHAPTERS LEFT IN THIS VOLUME FOR THIS BRAT TO GO CONFRONT DEKU ABOUT HIS QUIRK. GET A MOVE ON ALREADY BOY

but of course we’re opening right where we left off first. the prison with All Might and All for One. which I’m also pretty hyped for, so

All for One is complaining about the high level of security in this high security prison

apparently they’re monitoring his vitals, brain waves, etc. at all times, and if you so much as wiggle in your chair the wrong way, all the gun turrets in the place will point at you

still think he could escape in an instant if he wanted to. he probably has a bulletproof quirk. and we know he has a fucking warp quirk. he’s just biding his time

oh, apparently Tartarus is the name of the prison. also the prison is underground. or at least his part of it is underground. cuz it didn’t seem to be underground when we cut to the exterior of the building just a couple of panels ago

is there any wood around, All Might. you should probably knock on some wood. fucking jinxed us all, dude

All for One’s only response is “let’s assume that to be the case.” fffff lol yeah okay

so he’s asking what does All Might want with him, where’s Gran Torino, why did All Might come alone, “what’s with that pitiful costume” -- and okay, with that last one though, so are you actually fucking blind or not. I know he doesn’t have eyes and he’s been using infrared and the like, but his scathing remarks about All Might’s appearance are always so on point and it’s like ???

(ETA: goddammit I wish I could just project this thought into Horikoshi’s mind. like he suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat and is all “THE PLOT HOLE. OMG. I FORGOT” and immediately goes to write one of his infamous bonus page ramblings to correct it. I mean, it’s an easy enough fix. he can make up some bullshit quirk to explain it easily enough. but just. it really bothers me for some reason, like way more than it should. fuck you, All for One)

All Might really fucking hates All for One you guys. not gonna lie, pissed off is a good look for him

now he’s asking where Tomura is

All for One says he doesn’t know. “unlike you, I’ve already let my successor carry on”

now All Might’s asking him what he was trying to do. “what were you after?”

okay but now that the immortality thing has been brought up, it reminds me that I’ve been wondering why would this basically immortal guy suddenly become so obsessed with molding a successor? to the extent where he said that everything he’d been doing was for Tomura’s sake. (although whether or not that’s true is a whole nother story)

All for One says it’s pointless to explain it because All Might would never be able to understand

and now he’s saying that he and All Might are the same. two sides of the same coin type of thing. “in the same way you aspired to be the hero of justice, I yearned to be the king of evil”

when he says “live on eternally”, he’s talking about his legacy living on through Tomura, then? cuz idk, I still don’t buy it

and now All Might is also asking him “if that’s the case, why a successor?”

ah, he says it’s because of the injury All Might inflicted on him

I really love the way the reflection is dividing this image between All Might and All for One’s faces. oh damn

and all right, I guess I can buy this explanation. but I still can’t see Tomura as having those final villain chops though. idk, I wouldn’t be surprised if All for One changes his mind, or manages to acquire a better healing quirk than his current one -- one which actually allows him to restore himself to his former glory -- and then he decides he wanted to carry on with the whole villain thing after all

someone over the speaker is telling All Might he only has three more minutes

and now All for One is like OH SHIT and he’s trying to think of all the other shit he wanted to say to him lol

he’s asking how the world is out there now that All Might’s retired

it’s like Order of the Phoenix, but not quite Half-Blood Prince, fyi

dude on the loudspeakers is warning All Might not to give him any info

All for One says “what a shame”

and now it looks like he’s going to speculate. and probably be bang on target too

did you actually read the previous chapter yourself somehow or what

I wish All Might would stop gritting his teeth and clenching his fist and sweating in this way that just confirms every damn thing that All for One is saying

ffffff he must be so frustrated though. he devoted his entire life to making a peaceful world and to see that all fall apart and to be helpless to do anything about it...

and of course All for One is making the exact same observation. :/ “I believe you will spend the rest of your life stricken by your powerlessness and inability to do anything”

fucking hell, can’t we just have one of these turrets suddenly tragically “malfunction” and end this dude already. someone please tell me why we’re keeping him alive. clearly he’s no good for information

he’s asking All Might how it feels

All Might, the best thing you could do right now would be to just stand up and walk out of the room. you’re not getting anything else out of him and right now he’s getting under your skin, and seeing you hurting over this is giving this fucker exactly what he wants

the loudspeaker voice is also telling All Might to back away

I feel like he’s talking to me more than to All Might. about the “no hitting” part. yes that is indeed a shame

ooh, All Might’s gonna fire something back at him! GO TOSHI GO

he’s telling him not to presume that he knows everything. and he says he understands All for One’s thinking very well

oh shit

okay so like. I really like when older mentor type characters mention their proteges like this and they’re like “that boy” or “that child” and it’s like a reminder of how young and vulnerable and inexperienced the protege character is still, and how the mentor character is always looking out for them. like. I just like that. maybe it’s that it makes me feel like I can bond with the mentor character over our mutual protectiveness of the kid

anyway. so All for One isn’t even denying it; he’s just like, “and?”

and All Might is just like

dang. although once again I really wish that there was some wood nearby for you to knock on fffffffffffff

(ETA: ****SPOILER WARNING FOR CHAPTER 131, WHICH HAS NOT YET AIRED IN THE ANIME****

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so not only is All Might saying “fuck you” to All for One here, but he’s also giving the middle finger to fate itself. and I have to admit, it’s incredibly badass, even if it also makes me more worried than ever about him jinxing it. you see, that’s the upside of sticking around to raise your successor, AFO. you get to be inspired by them in some unexpected ways.

also, All Might is very brave and very determined and I love him so much omg.

*

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****END SPOILERS****)

and now the loudspeaker guy is telling All Might his time is up

All Might says that whatever future AFO is envisioning, All Might will always smash it no matter what, and AFO can spend the rest of his life sitting here and looking on

yeah bro. way to get the last fucking word in

now the doors are closing on All for One, and he’s laughing because of course he is

oh fuck you, dude. this conversation has been amazing but I’m tired of you now lol

now we’re cutting to All Might riding home with his best bro Nao

Nao’s asking how it went and All Might’s like, yeah, it didn’t

!! he’s mentioning that he also talked with Stain?!

(ETA: Mangastream’s translation made it sound like he spoke with him, but Viz and Fallen Angels's versions said that he was making plans to question him but hadn’t actually done so yet. given that this hasn’t come up again yet -- at least not at the point where I’m currently at -- I’m guessing Viz and FA got it right. though I’m still curious as to what they actually want to talk to him about.)

but now he’s getting interrupted by his phone which is buzzing

AHHHHH HE GOT DEKU’S WHOLESOME TEXT

All Might please charge your phone soon

HE EVEN HAS DEKU LISTED IN HIS CONTACTS AS “MIDORIYA-SHOUNEN” LMAO

HIS DAD FACE AT THE END OMG. HE REALLY NEEDED THIS RIGHT NOW

also it completely slipped my mind earlier, but he finally has his arm out of that cast. and apparently the hand is doing pretty well since he’s using it to text. good good

AHHHHH FINALLY WE’RE BACK AT THE U.A. DORMS

the kids are hanging out in the common area. Deku’s wondering if All Might got his text yet. he has this super cute proud little smile on his face

I’m so happy for him

but I won’t pretend I’m not also preoccupied with how Bakugou is doing lol. like, he wasn’t one to hang out with the others much even before this, and now it’s probably going to be even less so, at least until their excitement at having all passed the exam dies down. I expect Shouto will be keeping to himself a little bit more for a while too

gasppppppppppp

[FRANTICALLY CHECKING OWN PULSE BECAUSE I’M PRETTY SURE MY HEART JUST STOPPED]

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD

(((o(꒪ □ ꒪ )o)))

I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUTTTTTTTTTTTT AHHHHHHHHHHH

 BONUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! HOW AM I EVEN SO EXCITED WHEN I FUCKING KNEW THIS WAS COMING?!?!?! I DON’T EVEN KNOW!!!!!

THE BONUS PAGE IS JUST KACCHAN AND HIS SQUAD ALONG WITH TETSUTETSU AND MONOMA FROM CLASS B FOR SOME REASON

ALSO THE GUY WHO WROTE THE VIGILANTES SPIN-OFF THINKS THAT TSUYU HAD A LIL TADPOLE TAIL UNTIL KINDERGARTEN!

IT SAYS “NOTE: NOT CANON” BUT IT’S MY FUCKING CANON NOW DUDE

“AND I LIKE TSUYU” I FUCKING LIKE HER TOO OMG

BAKUGOU!!!! AND DEKU!!!! OUTSIDE!!!!!!!!!!! TALKING. ABOUT. QUIRKS

someone help me, I’m pretty sure if my apartment were to fucking catch fire right at this moment I’d still be reading and just ignoring it omggggg

[swords-and-aconite]

Since you asked, I would like you to write Geralt and Regis going on their first date

Ahh of course! I hope you like it! 

*

Geralt and Regis were bored. Not just any bored. The kindwhere watching paint dry seemed like a fun night. Geralt groaned and slumpedback in his chair. They’d exhausted their list of conversation starters, therewas no alcohol to be found anywhere at the mausoleum, and nothing to read sincethe tragic igni incident (we don’t talk about that.).

“Well. What should we do?” Regis asked for the fifth timethat minute. Geralt looked around for an answer but the only thing he could seewas the door.

“Could go outside?”

“Need I remind you of the very angry vampire, and duchess onthe other side of that door? How you managed to piss off Dettlaff and Anariettais beyond me, Geralt.”

“Hey, wasn’t my fault. How was I supposed to know sendingSyanna to the other side of the world was a bad idea?”

“Because I told you? Some five hundred times?”

“Did you now?” Geralt sassed. Regis rolled his eyes. “Theystill out there?” The vampire groaned and got out of his seat to check, leavingGeralt in he main chamber.

“Dettlaff? Your Grace?” Regis asked as he opened the doorslightly, ready to close it at a moments notice. He was met with silence. Heswung the door open fully and stepped outside. Dettlaff’s scent was almost goneand he couldn’t hear he duchess. “Geralt! They’re gone!” The witcher camerunning outside, almost tripping over his own feet in his haste to make it tothe door. He laughed giddily as the sun hit his face.

“How long has it been?”

“Six days, I believe.” Geralt forgot himself and pulledRegis into a tight hug.

“Should celebrate.” Regis saw an opportunity. An opportunityto do something he had wanted for a very long time.

“How about we get dinner in Beauclair? It’ll be dark soonand I daresay it’ll be a quite a bit more fun than setting Dettlaff’s nestalight.”

“How did you know…? Never mind. Don’t see any reason not to.”

“Go to dinner or commit arson?” Geralt chuckled.

“Go to dinner. Any suggestions?”

“Of course, you know the Pheasantry?”

“Yeah. Never had an occasion to go there.”

“Splendid. Let’s go.”

*

Beauclair was quiet and serene, but busy as always, by thetime they’d made it to the Pheasantry, the sun was heading towards the horizonat an alarming rate.

“Wipe your boots before you take another step! Don’t slurpyour food! Don’t eat with your hands! Don’t pick your teeth with your knife!” Theinnkeep rattled off these rules when she saw Geralt.

“What?”

“Excuse me?” Regis glared at her.

“Oh, I’m just jesting. You, sirs were clearly not born in abarn! Welcome to the Pheasantry, the best auberge in all the duchy! What areyou wanting, sirs?”

“A table for two, if it’s no trouble.” Regis asked politely,ever the gentleman.

“No trouble at all. Right this way!” She led them through tothe next room and seated them next the the window. She handed them the menusand sauntered away telling them she’ll be back in a minute to take theirorders. The setting was all very romantic. The table was adorned with roses anda solitary, flickering candle. Soft music wafted in through the window from thebard busking down the street. The sun was setting, casting an orange glowacross the lake and a spattering of pink through the clouds. Stars were alreadyshowing themselves, twinkling bright against the dark backdrop of space.

“Sunset’s incredible.” Geralt sounded awed.

“Indeed.” Regis agreed, but he was not looking at thesunset. He was instead staring at Geralt, studying the way the light playedwith his features, highlighted his scar, made his cat-like eyes glisten. Hesuddenly realised that Geralt had caught him staring and they were now lockedin a staring contest, impregnated with sexual tension. Regis cleared histhroat.

“So what are you thinking of getting?” He picked up he menuclumsily.

“Right. Uh. Don’t know”

*

After looking at the long list of meals they both decided onsteak as the safer option. Regis because nothing else on the menu tickled hisfancy, and Geralt because he simply didn’t know what all the other dishes were asthey were all written in Beauclairois.

“Are you ready to order?” The innkeep walked up to theirtable.

“I believe so.” Regis looked at Geralt for confirmation andmotioned him to go first.

“Uh, right. I’ll have the steak.”

“How would you like it cooked?”

“Medium rare.”

“And you?”

“I should like the same.”

“Also medium rare?”

“No, just rare is good.”

“You sure you don’t mean raw?” Geralt joked. Regis glared athim half heartedly.

“Any drinks? I personally suggest either Erveluce or WhiteWolf. Also, there is a discount for the witcher whom the wine was named for.” Theinkeep added sneakily, winking.

“In that case, let’s get that. I heard it has actuallydethroned Est Est.” Geralt told Regis.

“So tell me how you got a wine named in your honour?”

*

Regis only half listened to the story. He mostly just lookeddreamily into Geralt’s eyes. The monotonous drone of Geralt’s voice wassoothing, Regis thought he could listen to it forever. His plans to do so werecut short by the arrival of their meals. They ate in comfortable silence. Bythe time they were done, the moon was high in the sky and the lanterns along thestreets were lit. Regis insisted on paying despite Geralt’s protests.

“Let’s take a walk, shall we?” Regis proposed.

“Good idea. Should walk off all that wine I drank.” Theystarted out along the river near the Nilfgaardian embassy. The moon shone onthe water, giving it the illusion that it wasn’t infested with drowners. A ladywas still out with her flower stall, god knows why.

“Can I interest you in some flowers, sirs? Roses, lilies? Youname it, I have it!” She stepped out in front of Regis, holding a basket ofpurple roses. “Pleas sir, a crown a rose!” Regis thought this a good deal,tossing her a crown and taking a rose from the basket. They walked a little waybefore Regis handed Geralt the rose.

“For the fine gentleman.”

“Awfully romantic of you.” Geralt teased. They had walked tothe end of the pier and were standing not even a meter apart. Geralt twirled herose in his fingers, admiring it.

“Shall we sit, stargaze maybe?” Regis offered. The witcherstared at him strangely. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m not turning intoDandelion.”

“I’d be worried if you were. Not gonna start singing Ballads,are you?”

“I don’t believe I’d go that far, no.” They looked up at thesky, Regis pointing out actual constellations while Geralt made up bullshitones. As they night progressed, they sat closer and closer, almost in eachother’s laps. Regis had stopped pointing out constellations a while ago and wasstaring intently at Geralt. The witcher stopped talking and turned his head toface Regis. A thought struck him.

“Uhm… Was this… was this supposed to be a date?” Geralt wasblushing as he stared into Regis’ eyes.

“Do… do you want it to be?” Regis inquired, his voice almosta whisper.

“Maybe.”

“Then, yes. It is.” Conceded the vampire. They had broughttheir faces closer as they were speaking, their lips almost touching. Thetension was at its peak and it seemed like they were both waiting for the otherto make the first move. Regis cupped Geralt’s cheek and brought their lipstogether in one swift movement. It was a fleeting kiss, short and sweet. Theysmiled shyly at each other when they pulled apart, resting their foreheadstogether. Regis went to straighten up, but Geralt was having none of it. Hepulled Regis by the lapels of his robe into an eager, bruising kiss that leftthem both breathless.

“So. Will we be doing this again?” Regis asked.

“Only if you kiss me like that again.” Geralt panted.

*

“And that was the tale of our first date.” Regis told Dandelionwho was leaning across the table in interest.

“You left out the best part.” Geralt complained.

“I’d rather the best part stay out of whatever Ballad willbe written about this.” Geralt hummed in agreement.

“How about we go reenact the best part?” The witcher purredsuggestively. He pulled Regis into their room, leaving Dandelion to cringe atwhat he just heard. Thankfully they left him enough time to get the hell out ofthere. He sat in the garden of Corvo Bianco amidst the herbs.

“Time to write this Ballad.”

[stinkrascal]

Little controversial, but a lot of fun. What are your sim s' toxic traits? Asking all of my favourite story tellers. Let's get deep

omg YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS please i love talking about controversial things lets goooooooooo <3

vlad - he’s a very controlling and overbearing person, honestly. he’s the type of person who trusts his knowledge above everyone else’s and feels he’s the most capable in any given situation, therefore he feels it’s only right that he’s in charge, no matter the circumstance. he’s wise, yes, but after centuries of believing this of himself, his wisdom has warped to unabashed pride, and he finds it difficult to trust another’s capabilities over his own because of it. i like to think this ties into why he’s fairly codependent in his relationships; he needs to feel as though he’s the one providing for, guiding, and therefore “controlling” his relationships, he needs to feel needed, so he seeks out people who feed into that desire, people he feels are “misguided” who need a wise, proper hand to bring them to normalcy. you know, someone like him, the spitting image of normalcy, seeking out impressionable people in an attempt to satiate his intense desire to be needed. like sir have u ever heard of therapy? LMAOOO

breanna - she’s laidback to a fault and oftentimes irresponsible, someone who rarely considers the outcomes of her decisions and someone who ignores the telltale signs given to her. this manifests in a lot of careless, reckless behavior and poor decision making skills. like, for instance, if vlad reminds breanna that the water bill must be paid by x day? you best bet the water will be shut off because queen, irresponsible as she is, forgot to send the check. if she promises to bring you to your doctor’s appointment, you best bet that the morning of you’re gonna call her only to discover she didn’t realize your doctor’s appointment was Today and she is currently stoned asf and cannot operate her vehicle, to which you will reply Breanna It’s 8 AM Why Are You Smoking At 8 AM to which she will apologize and cry and hang up and fall asleep. much like vlad, i like to think this ties into her own codependency issues, as she feels she’s, in essence, unable to properly, or rather, responsibly care for herself, and must rely on someone else to do this for her. she enables his controlling nature by relying on him for most things, and in return he enables her immaturity by providing for her unconditionally. isn’t that, like, super fucked up lmaooooo? like, it’s the sims universe u know, so take all of this with a grain of salt, bc like in the context of my silly sims 4 legacy all of these codependency issues honestly amount to, like, breanna being a happy and uncritical stoner tradwife and vlad being the one who pays the bills and drives. it’s not actually that serious u know. but when you think about it critically and apply it to like real-world scenarios n consequences n whatever... it’s gross as fuck <3 you guys need therapy <3

lucien - like vlad, he’s fairly prideful, as he feels he’s the most knowledgeable and capable of any given situation, but more so than that, he feels the need to show off his intelligence by testing others’ knowledge. he also feels the need to lecture those he feels aren’t as knowledgeable as he is; often he doesn’t realize he’s doing it. he’ll basically mansplain to you for hours, if you don’t keep him in check. also, his ego usually gets the best of him, and he can’t help but find himself better than those he views as unintelligent. it can come off a little classist at times, and this is something which has been brought to his attention in the past, something he wishes to alleviate in his further interactions. it’s a work in progress. ;-;

gen - their main issue is that they’ve a difficult time understanding and empathizing with other people, primarily women. i like to think this comes from their overall discomfort within themselves, whether that discomfort revolves around their personality, their gender identity, or their apathy towards life. women in particular are difficult for gen to empathize with, as it is that gen makes an effort to distance themselves from women, most likely a consequence of their discomfort with their assigned gender. lashing out at the “thing” they wish to distance themselves from is a simple, quick way to tell your peers, I Am Not This Thing! you don’t wish to be perceived as a women? vehemently hate all of that which is considered womanly, and maybe you’ll stand a chance against your audience. that’s... gen’s way of looking at it, at least. it’s not healthy, and gen realizes this by now, but so far it’s not caused too much of a hindrance on their life, save for all the girlfriends they can’t get because of their shitty misogynistic streak, so they’re not too bothered. i can promise you as they grow more comfortable with themselves, they will eventually drop their mean streak. i know gen’s been a misogynist for, like, two years now lmaooo ;-;

carlile - much like his mother, he’s extremely irresponsible. he forgets important dates, he often misplaces his belongings and the belongings of others, he can hardly be trusted to cook without forgetting the stove’s on then burning the house to the ground. he’s also rather bratty, especially when he’s hungry. idk i’m blanking on carlile honestly his toxic trait is being perfect <3

nikolai - he has a hard time establishing boundaries with others, so he often finds himself in situations he finds uncomfortable, merely because he can’t say no to anything. you can usually tell when he’s uncomfortable, as he wears the expression well on his face, but even then, he’ll bite his tongue and carry onwards. worst of all, though, he’ll be upset with you if you’re the one who suggested the plans, even if he’s the one who agreed to the situation despite not wanting to attend in the first place.

klaus - he doesn’t expect anything from anybody, and he feels that all people should feel this way about each other, as no expectations means no one can get hurt. this also means, however, that klaus’ effort put into everything he does is fairly low, and he doesn’t often impress people with his lazy, myopic attitude. he’s self-dependent to a fault, wanting to do most things by himself without considering the help of others, as he feels he’s the only one who should provide for himself. basically, he doesn’t accept “charity” from other people, and he thinks most people shouldn’t accept “charity” from others, either. very much a “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” kind of guy, which i consider toxic as fuck, so, like. :)

anastasia - she’s a lot like vlad; she feels her judgment is the best in most situations, and she feels she deserves to be in charge at all opportunities because of this. her confidence teeters on pride, and she often confuses the two and unknowingly comes across as arrogant and abrasive because of this. she trusts the abilities of others, it’s just that she believes she works the hardest and wants it the most, and this innate desire puts her above others. she’s also prone to fits of jealousy, especially over her friends, an attribute also lovingly instilled into her by her father :p if you so much as look at her best friends the wrong way, she will come for your throat as though she were some rabid dog, about to feast on her next meal. she’s loyal, yes, but loyalty doesn’t come without its faults; she’s quick to excuse her friends, even for truly heinous actions they provably committed, so long as she feels the intention is forgivable. her love and affection for other people blinds her, and often she’ll act in their best interest, even if that means being rude or aggressive towards others who go against them.

ilya - his toxic trait is that he’s never featured on this blog and idk what to do with him <3 his other toxic trait is that when hes a teen hes gonna commit arson. thats sooooo toxic

ok im gonna go through everyone else really quickly bc my fingers hurt HAHAHA ok lets speedrun this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bonnie - her toxic trait is that she thinks 50 shades of gray is legitimately a good book series. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

cooper - his toxic trait is that he smells so bad and he doesnt know why he uses soap and deodorant and bathes frequently hes just sweaty asf and you know what Me too king sweaty kings rise up

shivi - her toxic trait is that shes a barista at a coffee shop and she doesnt even like coffee. her other toxic trait is that she lowkey hates vampires :( and thats just rude asf

maeve - her toxic trait is that shes an apologist. she sees someone doing something terrible and shes like OKAY THEY DID THIS BAD THING BUT THEY’RE JUST TROUBLED IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT MAYBE I CAN FIX THEM!!!! like no bitch you cant

tarek - his toxic trait is NOTHING tarek is literally so perfect like he just wants to take care of his sick boyfriend and learn how to be a top tier witch like thats it? He doesnt deserve any slander bye

abigail - her toxic trait is that she’s SOOOOOO clingy to the point where like u guys can be in the same room but if you’re not looking at her rn while you two are in the same room together she’s like DO YOU HATE ME? like abbie please we dont hate u ur just being crazy rn. shes also extremely jealous and self-destructive so like if she feels like u are cheating on her she will FREAK OUT and ruin your relationship bc she doesn’t know how to effectively communicate her emotions and feels the need to lash out inexplicably at everything that triggers her </3 poor girl

karmen - her toxic trait is that she hides behind her humor and nonchalant persona to mask her emotions. she says it’s a coping mechanism, but the truth is, she refuses to meaningfully engage with these feelings, as they’re too uncomfortable for her, so she downplays her struggles with humor. she’s very much someone who acts as though she’s got it under control, even if the truth is, she’s struggling to stay afloat. her other toxic trait is that she will endanger her own internet safety it if means she can get a cute e-milf to send her money <3

caspian - he’s reserved to a fault, as though he’s physically unable to admit what’s troubling him. yet, when he speaks, you can always tell when there’s an issue. it’s always one of those things with him, where the emotion is too repressed to be articulated, yet too present to ignore. he’s so resistant to aid, he’d rather subject himself to terrible situations if it means denying help from another. often, he does this under the guise that he doesn’t wish to be a burden to others, therefore he must take care of himself without help, but he fails to realize that by not helping himself, he’s hurting his relationships around him, which burdens everyone. he’s deeply insecure, and he often weaponizes his insecurities, typically without meaning to. this manifests in a lot of self-deprecation, deflective language during arguments, ie “I’m the worst person ever, I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me after this,” which often comes off very manipulative. again, he doesn’t mean to sound manipulative, it’s just something that happens naturally, something he's gotta work towards alleviating.

vaughn - like caspian, he’s many emotions which are too strong to ignore, though too repressed to be expressed. this manifests primarily through vaughn’s financial immaturity and his promiscuity. he enjoys the physical pleasures of life, and he often abuses these luxuries as a way to distract himself from the very real pain he feels, pain he refuses to admit he harbors. so instead he sings his silly songs and spends his money recklessly and fucks everyone within a thirty mile radius to distract himself from the void in his chest :\

wolfgang - he’s basically an incel LMAOOOOOOO or like what do they call an incel who larps as a normal person to pick up woman? a pick up artist i think? hes that LMAO hes quite literally in the incel community is what im trying to say. i havent talked about it yet but its literally a plot point. if you look in my brainstorm sheet rn it says “Wolfgang munch reads incelme forums every day. Wolfgang munch thinks j*rdan peters*n is the leading figurehead in the hall of intelligentsia.” so like yeah