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flyingstar360 · 4 years

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Bittersweet Memories

So, Happy Thanksgiving and I’m really sorry for Alex angst/ooc. There’s a little bit more adult-ish content in it, and by that, I mean we have boys kissing, mentions of teenage drinking, a few colorful words I may have forgotten to edit out, and mentions of some pretty serious homophobia topics. Also, I’m straight, so I’ve never had to come out or anything, and this is my first time writing openly gay characters. Hopefully, I did okay, and I don’t offend anyone! Any way, it’s a long one, so sorry!

Bittersweet Memories

Alex twisted his drumsticks between his fingers. Julie and her family weren’t home. She told the boys she was going to go volunteer with her dad and brother, but honestly? Alex’s anxiety post Orpheum had been at an all time high. Between secret meetings with Willie, trying to avoid Caleb and save Willie’s soul, band practice and their growing fan base, and the fact that the holidays were coming up? Alex felt like one of the strings of Luke’s guitar, right before it snapped.

He knew Thanksgiving had always been Reggie’s favorite holiday. It was the one day his parents didn’t scream all day, because there was just enough distraction and alcohol to keep them from going after each other. He and his brother would play flag football and watch the parade with their cousins. The delight was practically oozing off him as he and Luke were curled in front of Julie’s laptop, rambling on about the musical acts performing. Ironically, it was a show about hell, or something?

“Dude if musicals had been like this? Yo, I would never have given you a hard time about them.” Luke said to Alex, looking up from his spot on the ground.

Luke’s relationship with Thanksgiving was a little more complicated than Reggie’s. It wasn’t his favorite, but he didn’t hate it. Plus, now that they were dead, Luke had never been closer to his family. Even though they had no idea Julie was actually helping him leave little clues around for them to know he was there with them.

“Are you gonna go see your parents today?” He asked Luke.

“Already done. Julie helped me leave a little message for my mom.” Luke grinned.

Alex rolled his eyes. “Please tell me it has nothing to do with cranberry jelly.”

Emily Patterson made the best homemade cranberry sauce Alex had ever eaten. The Thanksgiving he’d spent at the Patterson’s was one of the best meals Alex had ever eaten. But Luke, for some reason, didn’t like the cranberry sauce his mom made. It was one of those fancy ones, with real cranberries and orange in it. To Alex, it smelled and tasted exactly like he always dreamed the holidays would. Sweet, with a hint of spices. But no.Luke wanted processed cranberry jelly. Alex remembered seeing the two of them arguing about it the last Thanksgiving they’d been alive. Luke had run away a few weeks later, and they’d died in July.

“Julie got me a can of cranberry jelly to leave on the counter. Mom’ll know.”

Alex hated canned cranberry jelly. All he could think about was the way it had clung to his button down shirt the last Thanksgiving he spent with his parents. He remembered the sounds of the plates crashing, the way the glass pie plate had shattered as it hit the wall and smashed next to his face, and the way his father’s voice spit out the words as he- No, Alex didn’t want to think about it.

Alex hated Thanksgiving, actually.

It was two Thanksgivings ago- or two Thanksgivings before he died, instead. His dad’s coworker had come over with his family. Alex didn’t mind. Mr. Marsters’s son was a little older than him. And he was cool. Seth Marsters was a baseball player at the fancy private school in town. He was class president. He was handsome. He liked good music. And he was honestly really nice. Alex never minded spending time with him, and their parents were good enough friends that it happened pretty frequently. The two had ended up in Alex’s room while their dads talked work and their moms finished the dinner and drank wine. Sometimes they’d play Super Mario Kart on Alex’s Nintendo and the TV he had in his room. Other times, the boys just sat around and talked and listened to music.

“Okay.” Seth had said as he opened the tape deck Alex had in his room. “Don’t laugh, but I made you mix tape with some of the other songs I thought you’d like. I would have burnt you a CD, but Dad wouldn’t let me use the computer, because he was too busy with work.”

Alex grinned and flopped himself across his blue bedspread as he watched Seth fiddle with the tape deck. Alex didn’t have a lot of friends. His anxiety made it hard to make friends at school. So, the guys in band were his best friends- and so far, the only people who knew he was gay. Luke had actually been the first guy Alex ever kissed- after they’d snuck a bottle of something that had made Alex’s eyes water and throat burn out of Mr. Patterson’s liquor cabinet. Reggie would turn up at the backdoor in the middle of the night sometimes, with cuts or bruises Alex never questioned but would clean up nonetheless. And Bobby would show up at lunch with extra food packed for the guys, and his mom always made sure Alex had something without nuts in it. It was that kind of stuff that made Alex feel normal. And not like a freak. Even though he knew he was different from everyone else. But besides the guys, he didn’t feel comfortable with almost anyone else. Except Seth.

“Okay, but I can’t promise not to laugh until I hear what songs you picked.”

Seth grinned back and hit play as he plopped himself next to Alex, resting on his elbows, face to face with Alex. It took everything Alex had not to blush as Seth went on and on about why Nirvana was a better band than Poison. Nodding dumbly, he didn’t even register what was playing- until he heard a familiar voice whose CD was hidden behind his copy of The Hobbit on his bookshelf.

“I’m sorry, is this Whitney Houston?” Alex sat straight up. Seth was the one blushing now, as he fumbled to skip the song.

“Yeah, it’s dumb, I just-“

Alex reached out to stop him. “Dude, I love Whitney Houston. She’s got a killer voice.”

Seth turned a shade redder than before. Alex had never seen him flustered at all before. Seth was normally the one all put together, and Alex was the anxious mess. It was honestly pretty endearing, and Alex felt the butterflies in his stomach. “I heard this on the radio and I kind of thought of you instantly.” Seth said quietly. “It just.. well. It makes me think of you every time I hear it, I guess.”

Alex just kind of blinked for a moment, processing what that could mean, as Seth watched him carefully. But Before Alex could really say anything, Seth leaned in and pressed his lips against Alex’s.

Oh.

OH.

Alex closed his eyes as Seth wrapped his hand around the back of Alex’s head and pulled him in closer. His lips were soft and Alex thought he could taste a hint of Chapstick, and root beer. It was a million times better than the clunky teeth and lips kiss he and Luke had shared. This was like a movie kiss, in Alex’s opinion. The butterflies in his stomach, the way his heart was pounding- suddenly he felt like he really got why the guys in the band were so obsessed with girls Being able to have moments like this, feel like this, without anyone judging you? Without anyone thinking you’re spreading a deadly disease? It felt almost as good as playing music.

“And I will always love you-“ Whitney’s long hold of the note drowned out the sound of Alex’s mother’s heels clicking down the hall, but not the screech she let out after pushing his door open and seeing the two boys’ moment.

Alex wouldn’t forget that sound. Or the sound of the front door slamming as his Dad sent Seth and his parents away without even eating.

“Dad, it’s not his fault.” Alex said as his father stormed back into the dining room where Alex stood next to his mother. As his dad started to yell again, Alex cut him off. “Dad! It’s not his fault. I-I kissed him back.”

His father froze, eyes wide, face purple. Veins were bulging on his neck. Alex hadn’t meant to say that.

“I’m gay, Dad.”

He sure as hell hadn’t planned on saying that. He took a deep breath and continued. “Look, I know it’s upsetting, but I’ve known for a while and I didn’t know how to tell you guys. I didn’t want to disappoint you, and-“

That was when the glass pie plate with his mom’s famous cherry pie hit the wall next to his face. Alex ducked to avoid the plate of cranberry jelly that followed it. His father only stopped hurtling dishes at Alex because his mom stepped in between them and told him to leave the house. He ran out, shirt covered in cranberry goop splatter and cherry pie filling. He must have looked like he’d murdered someone when he’d shown up at Bobby’s house. Bobby’s mom brought him clean clothes and let him spend the night. After that Thanksgiving, Alex noticed Luke’s parents looking at him strangely after church. Reggie’s parents didn’t let him come over anymore, not that he did much anyway. And Seth got accepted to a “boarding school” that Alex had heard whispers about. He never saw him again.

“Alex?” Julie stopped just inside her bedroom, by the door. Alex jumped up from where he was sitting by the window. Somehow, during his trip down memory lane, he’d wandered into her room, absent mindedly tapping on the bongo she had by her window.

“Ah- Sorry. Boundaries. I know.” He mumbled, putting the bongo back on her windowsill.

Julie shook her head and sat on the edge of her bed, opposite the chair Alex had found himself in.

“It’s okay. Carlos told me he heard drumming coming from in here and went to distract dad. When I didn’t see you in the studio, I just figured you went to spend Thanksgiving with Willie or checking in on your family or something.” She looked at him intensely and he shifted uncomfortably. “Are you okay?” She asked quietly and reached her hand out to rest on top of his. It slipped right through him, and he pulled away, embarrassed. Here she was, trying to be a good friend, and he was lying to her and being an anxious wreck again. He started to protest, tell her he was fine, when someone knocked on her door. Ray stuck his head in.

“Hey, niña.” He smiled at Julie. “Pizza should be ready in about ten minutes.” Julie nodded. “You did some good work today. Thanks for coming to help out.” She smiled back at her dad.

“You know it’s always been my favorite part of Thanksgiving.” She told him. Alex noticed Reggie and Luke peeking out from behind Ray. “I’ll be down in a minute.” The guys slipped through the door as Ray closed it, both standing awkwardly.

“We’re sorry, dude.” Luke started. “We kinda both forgot that Thanksgiving isn’t a great day for you.”

“I got really excited because it’s always been a good day for me. I didn’t mean to brush off your feelings.” Reggie shifted his weight from side to side. “I just really love the parade and I heard there were puppies after it now and puppies are way better than football and-“

Julie cut Reggie off. “You don’t like Thanksgiving?”

“You work on Thanksgiving?” Alex countered. He knew he was being a little short, but there was no way he could handle Julie looking at him the way other people did when they found out he was gay.

“We volunteer at Marsters House every year. We serve dinner and hang out.” She said. “And you’re avoiding the question.” Alex stiffened in his seat when Julie mentioned the word “Marsters”. Luke and Reggie went pale. Julie noticed all of it. “Please don’t tell me the Marsters’s stole music or something from you guys too.” She groaned. “It’s bad enough knowing Carrie’s dad isn’t who I thought he was, if Seth and Cory are liars too, I couldn’t handle it.”

Alex was pretty sure he was going to throw up. Could ghosts even throw up? He tried to take a few deep breaths. “Julie.” He whispered. “I need you to tell me where this place is.”

She jumped up. “No. No way. Last time you guys were upset and I told you where something was, you got sucked in by Caleb and I almost lost you to those stamps. No way!”

“We’re going and you can’t stop us!” Alex raised his voice at Julie. “Wait, what are you doing?”

Julie was grabbing her sweater. “I’m not letting you go alone. I’ll take you there. But you guys aren’t going alone!” Alex looked over at his bandmates.

“Okay.” He said.

“Dad?! I just realized I left my phone at Marsters’ House, I’m gonna go grab it!”

It sounded like the aftermath of Thanksgiving dinner from just outside the building. There was yelling at football games and possibly video games. There were lots of people inside- most of them around his age. But the man who opened the door was decidedly not his age. But it was absolutely Seth.

“I’m so sorry to bother you, but I think I may have left my phone in the kitchen?” Julie lied without a blip in her demeanor. Alex was both impressed and terrified. Looking over at Luke, Alex would be willing to guess Luke felt the same way. As they went inside, Alex knew he wouldn’t be going to the kitchen. Instead, he turned down the hall, and followed adult Seth into an office. On Seth’s desk was a photo of him with another handsome man- blond. Seth had a type.

“Alexa?” Seth said, as he settled himself down at his desk. “Play Alex’s Mixtape.” Suddenly, Whitney Houston came from the speakers. Alex couldn’t breathe. Someone grabbed his hand. Julie. She squeezed it tight.

“Thanks Seth! Happy Thanksgiving!” She yelled over her shoulder as she pulled Alex away. Reggie and Luke were waiting outside. He brushed past them for a few yards, pulling his hand free of Julie’s grasp, before having to stop. He crouched on the ground, arms wrapped around his knees, rocking back and forth as sobs ripped from his throat. He felt the rest of the band catch up, wrap their arms around him. He turned his head and sobbed into Luke’s flannel. Reggie rubbed circles on his back. After a few moments, as the sobs subsided, he realized Julie was murmuring something to him.

“Alex, it’s okay. You’re okay. We love you, and you’re okay.”

He inhaled and wiped his face and looked right at Julie.

“I’m gay.” She blinked a few times. Gave her head a little shake Looked at Reggie and Luke, who were holding their breath next to him.

“I- Was-was I not supposed to know that?” She asked.

All three boy’s jaws dropped.

“You knew?” Alex asked. “How long have you known?”

Julie shrugged. “Since like, day one? Anyway, you talk so much about Willie too, so I just assumed that-” She stopped suddenly. “Seth. You’re Seth’s Alex. Oh my god.” She stood up and took a few steps back, then started pacing. “There’s no way. None. I don’t understand.” She looked at the guys. “Seth has seen the video my dad made for Edge of Great. How did he just not notice?”

“I noticed.” A voice came from behind her. Julie whipped around. “Your dad called. Wanted to make sure we found your phone. I told him you had left already, but I figured I’d check to see how far you’d gotten. Didn’t expect you to have company.” Seth stuffed his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

“Can you see them?” Julie asked.

Seth shook his head. “No. But I mean, you’re talking to air. And it sure sounds like you’re trying to talk Alex out of an anxiety attack. Lord knows I’d done that a few times.” He got quiet for a minute. Alex stood, and walked slowly until he was face to face with Seth. He had more wrinkles around his eyes than Alex remembered, but of course. He was twenty-five years older. “Is he here?”

“Tell him I tried to take the blame.” Alex turned towards to Julie. “Please.”

She nodded. “He says he tried to take the blame. He didn’t want his parents to blame it on you.”

“I mean, I did kiss him first. Anyway, they were going to send me for conversion therapy no matter what.” Julie winced. Alex looked back and forth between Julie and Seth.

“What’s that? They sent him to a school. That’s what they told me”

“No, Alex.” Julie said quietly. “It wasn’t a school.”

Seth sighed. “Of course, that’s what they told him.” He looked at Julie and the empty space around her. “Um, where…”

“Oh! Um, A little towards your left, just kind half turn, and he’s right in front of you.”

Seth shifted and looked at Alex. “It wasn’t a school. It was a group of people who thought that, through a bunch of therapy and medical procedures, they could make me not gay anymore. Clearly, it was not successful, as I am still a flaming homosexual.” Julie giggled at that, and Alex couldn’t help but smile as he saw Seth’s face break into the familiar grin he once knew. His heart ached a little as it faded away. “I was worried they’d sent you to one too. And when I heard you had passed away from a bad hot dog, I worried- well, I was scared that it was a cover-up. That you’d… Anyway.” He trailed off. “I have no idea how you’re here. Or why. But I’m happy. I love Colby. He reminds me of you sometimes. You’d have been great friends. We met at a Whitney Houston Concert in DC when I was in college. He spilled his beer on me during I’ll Always Love You. I said you were sending me a sign.”

Alex blinked back tears. “It was the best kiss of my life.”

Julie smiled. “He said it was the best kiss of his life.” Luke pouted and crossed his arms as Julie’s eyes got wide.

“It is a long story.” Alex laughed, as he wiped away some tears.

“Want a ride home?” Seth asked Julie. “Something tells me you’ve got a lot going on.” Julie nodded.

Later that night, there was a knock at the studio door. Alex did not expect to see Julie, in her pajamas and with a blanket and pillow outside the studio.

“Hey! Are you okay?”

Julie nodded. “We’re watching a movie.” She held up a copy of The Bodyguard on DVD. “I knew my mom had a copy somewhere.”

As they snuggled on the couch, Julie’s back against Luke’s chest, her legs draped over Alex’s lap, Reggie sitting on the ground in front of them, holding Julie’s hand and leaning against Alex’s legs, he realized something.

Maybe Thanksgiving wasn’t so bad after all.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #Alex #alex jatp #I am the cruise ship of willex #even though I gave him an OC in this #i love my dead gay son #I love my emotional support ghost band #fanfiction #Julie and the Phantoms Fanfiction #Thanksgiving

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fyrapartnersearch · 5 years

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Looking for someone to play Peggy for a slow-burn Steggy romance RP

Hello folks! My name is Joe. I'm a Brit in his late 20s who started roleplaying about 15 years ago, when play-by-email and play-by-post were the norm, but I've been massively out of the game for the last few years. I briefly got back into roleplaying in 2018 but the site I joined imploded after a few months and I became a bit disheartened. I miss my favourite hobby very much, and I would love to get back into it with someone's help. I have a particular story I'd be interested in roleplaying with a dedicated partner for an extended period of time - months or even years, if we both think there's more room to take it. The Plot I am looking for someone who would like to play Peggy Carter against my Steve Rogers from the MCU for a slow-burn, long-term romance roleplay. Steggy is my absolute, all-time OTP, and this is a story I'd love to play out for so many reasons - from a deep love of the characters themselves, to a life-long obsession with all things Marvel forged reading the miss-matched comics I could get my hands on as a kid and watching the X-Men/Spiderman TV shows, to a nostalgic love for the aesthetic of the 1940s (I am 99% sure that I am the world's leading listener of obscure Gracie Fields and Pearl Bailey songs on Spotify). It's such a perfect mix of story elements for me. In the MCU timeline Steve meets Peggy in June 1943 and rescues Bucky in November 1943, but doesn't go into the ice until February 1944. I'd love to play out a story that lets us imagine together what some of those pre-1944 moments might have looked like when they were working together during WWII, sticking to the canon that they weren't at any point a proper romantic pairing and didn't have their first kiss until the very end, but ultimately focusing primarily on their reunion after Steve's return to the past in Endgame. In my mind there are two ways that we could go about doing this, but I am absolutely open to suggestions or alternative ideas:

Jump right into the post-Endgame story with Steve and Peggy's reunion, and cut back to vignettes of their time together during the war that we play out as and when we feel appropriate.

Play the entire tape through from start to finish, from the moment they meet in the training camp right through to Steve going into the ice, and then pick up with the post-Endgame reunion.

We start with the post-Endgame reunion to the set the scene and context for the story we want to tell, and then play the whole thing through vignettes and independent scenes that aren't played out in any particular order.

There are so many things that I think it could be enormously fun to explore in this story. I don't mind if we play it as Steve going back in time properly so that his identity has to stay hidden and he has to keep a low profile just cheering on Peggy as she builds the incredible career she goes on to have, or if we play it as an AU so Steve and Peggy are also able to become world-saving, ass-kicking partners in not-actually-crime-but-justice. My main interest is in exploring the contours of the characters, their love story, and the highs and lows that would come with being re-united. I am happy for us to bend or twist canon about the wider MCU if you would like, as long as we keep the essentials of the story correct and keep these two characters true to their canon depiction. I am absolutely, honestly not remotely bothered by the sex or gender of the person playing Peggy. My main hope is to find someone who has enough of an appreciation for these characters that we can have an enormously fun time imagining their journey together and thinking what scenes it would be fun to play out and what elements of their story we'd like to explore. I am not interested in exploring anything where Steve is implied to have had anything other than a platonic relationship with Bucky, Tony Stark etc. I am bisexual IRL and have absolutely no problem if you also ship Steve with other characters, but it's not a story I am personally interested in. Writing Style / Partner Preferences I write exclusively in the third person, with multi-paragraph responses. Whilst sometimes it might be clear that a short answer is better to progress a scene, even in a dialogue intensive moment it's rare you'll get less than two paragraphs out of me. My posts tend to be 3 - 5 paragraphs in length; 2 paragraphs if the scene is dialogue intensive, and more like 7 - 9 if I need to move along a lot of action independently of my partner (e.g., if my character needs to be somewhere else doing something, I would rather write more in one post to try and get the action back to playing against my partner in as few posts as possible). I write quickly and words flow easily, and I am not very good at being succinct (for better or for worse!), in no small part because I try to make sure I'm clearly conveying my character's feelings and thoughts to the other player as well as their character. I tend to be quite detail heavy on thoughts and feelings, and try to blend that into action so there's always something for my partner to work with. I have roleplayed happily against other players with very different styles and post lengths in group settings, but for 1x1 play like this I am looking for a partner who also writes in third person with multi-paragraph responses. I'm a working adult with a life that varies in how busy it gets. There will be times when I can reply once a day or even multiple times per day; there will be others when I can only post a couple of times per week, and cannot commit firmly to being able to post more than a couple of times per week. I'll always communicate with you what my availability looks like and keep in touch OOC so you know I'm around. Please especially be aware that weekends are often busier for me than weekdays and don't assume no reply at a weekend means I've lost interest; it's time to spend with my fiance, my friends, my family and work on other hobbies as well. I will often be in a better position to reply during workday evenings. Intereted? If you'd be interested in taking this up, then let's chat about what the story could look like! I'd be thrilled to hear your thoughts on which of the three approaches you'd be most interested in, or if you have any ideas of your own, and if there are any specific scenes or plot points you'd like to include in the story. Rather than just jump right in, I would like to map out how we want to do this given the different approaches we could take.

I would prefer to play by Google Docs, e-mail, I don't mind making a Tumblr account either, but for now you can contact me on Discord at ampason#8923.

#multiple paragraph #para #long term #marvel rp #mcu rp #submission

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