#☼ ) crack ( ☼

[wormb0i]

@impishsensei a demandé : "yuuji, i hate to break it to you, but megumi has been stolen from you by panda."

« If this is about that picture you have, I don't wanna know. I told you it wasn't me, we were never together or anything like that ! But... Seriously ? Panda ? »

[ladyseidr]

consider, an amusing but also alarming idea in my head:

fun.time foxy: so whose voices can i mimic? william: you can sound like anyone foxy mimicking will: you can sound like anyone william immediately: DON'T do that

[bluezenzennie]

An AU in which the one ring is the one sword.

Thanks to @cilil for sharing this au with me, I have been laughing my ass off for 10 minutes now PIOJEDFSMOIJG ( the master sword is here for a specific reason kekekesiodfjælosid )

It began with the forging of the Great swords. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine swords were gifted to the race of men, who, above all else, desire power. But they were, all of them, deceived, for another sword was made. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master sword, to control all others. And into this sword he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One sword to rule them all.

This sword is able to speak with it's wielder and boy is it SASSY to anyone that isn't it's master or his husband vala, Morgoth.

Some interactions with characters:

The one sword: "Frodo, you are swinging THE WRONG WAY"

The one sword: "Dear Morgoth, my master could do better than this."

The one sword: ".... ew no" Gollum: "Precious sword... my precious" The one sword: "GET MEEEE OOUUT OF HERE OMFG"

The one sword: "Only one being is allowed to call me precious and that is my master, the dark lord Sauron, and the dark lord Sauron only."

Imagine someone like Legolas picking up the sword Lmfao, the reaction.

Option 1: "oh hello a fellow gay"

Option 2: "A filthy elf, with such a lanky stature and- why are you looking at me so weirdly, why do I smell daddy issues? Oh wait I sense... Oh, you're gay. Well I suppose this is alright, hmmm. Yeah, I'll let this one pass."

Gimli: ( Picks up the one sword ) The one sword: "Get your grimy fingers off of my hilt!"

Gandalf: ( Picks up the one sword ) The one sword: "Oh, you touch me? No." ( Burns at the hilt )

Frodo: ( Struggling to pick up the one sword ) The one sword: "Ah, hobbits, I missed them. Not. Now take me to my master!"

Bilbo: ( Picking up the one sword for the first time ) The one sword: "At least this hobbit doesn't look like a rotten tapeworm with giant blue glass balls for eyes."

Sauron: ( Picks up his sword ) The one sword: ( Moans ) Sauron: "You like that don't you precious."

Note: More details in the future, this is focused on the funny interactions OIÆJEFDÆOIJDFÆOIJ

[brutestrcngth]

( Well she caught one! The other one did not survive her grasp though... ) Hey man fair enough.

[lancelot-sharpkeen]

let it be known that he doesnt learn his lessons after his failure, ever, and he will do it again.

[magatsv]

❛Am I not good enough? ❜

Narrowed eyes glance down at snowy locks, precision cut and not a strand out of place. It was the kind of visual and behavioral perfection he knew Uraume had developed with a specific brand of concentration that came from mastering one specific idiosyncratic task until you knew it well enough to practice it blind.

They had suffered Sukuna's annoyance, petulance, wrath, and boredom in different times and stages- Learning from each instance of vocalized or physically expressed displeasure. They had earned their coveted place at his feet, yet also challenged him in ways he never once thought he would willingly tolerate. It was amusing, as much as it was unexpected.

The King of Curses' lips purse around the mouth of his kiseru pipe, eyelids falling to half-mast on the first slow drag.

"You would waste my time with such trivialities?" he asks, reaching forward to roughly grasp Uraume's chin between his clawed fingers. His grip is punishing, long nails digging into bony landmarks of the jawline and the slanted angle of a high cheekbone.

Sukuna exhales a cloud of blueish smoke into their face dispassionately, long snaking wisps still trailing slowly towards the ceiling as he cocked his head to one side.

"Creatures like you exist for little purpose than to provide me with entertainment- Whether it comes from your death, or otherwise. Is the fact that I allow you to serve at my feet not reason enough to rejoice? Have I expressed such consummate satisfaction in the undertaking of your duties, you have a surfeit of time to pose foolish and wearisome questions?"

A cruel knife's edge of a smirk twists his features.

"You must be upset. Good, use that as fuel for employing more... inspiration in completing what is ordered of you."

[fatedefyd]

   sometimes the deranged little guy driving my clown car of a brain comes up with some pretty funny shit ft. @qicixian​​

[serialreporter]

coming online just to torment the evil residents

[maledictus-maleficus]

#'they weren't lying that sleepy old man can prey on your weaknesses and break your spirit'

He smiles.

~ Three hours later ~

" Anyway, make yourself comfortable. My granddaughter should be home soon. " This dingy apartment was the First Emperor's base of operations..?

@miraruinada

[wormb0i]

@strawdxll a demandé : “Hey, what do you think you got on that physics test?”

« Easy. A hundred. »

[ladyseidr]

"However weird you think I am, at least I don't want to dress up as a rabbit like my brother."

[bluezenzennie]

Valinor's weather forecast

Warning: Suggestive, Manwë being a whore.

Thanks to @cilil @wandererindreams and others for this amazing conversation about how Manwë affects the weather, I've been laughing my ass off, to the point my stomach hurts /pos OIÆJFDSÆOIj!

Clear sky: No nut day. Windy: Manwë solo venture ( Wonder where this will go ). Cloudy: Manwë petting. Rainy: Manwë fucking. Thunder: Manwë twerking. Lightning: Manwë orgasms ( As Cílil said: "Yes, it's the sky jizz." Tornado: The big bird d. No wind: Manwë is either sick or is having a dry day. Foggy: Manwë mutual pining/Aroused. Dewy: Manwë and his morning wood. Hurricane: Manwë doing it rough. Light drizzling rain: Manwë is having wet dreams. Hail: Melkor crashed the party. Blizzard: Melkor pretending to be Manwë.

[brutestrcngth]

( Looking up from her laptop. ) Is what workin'?

[lancelot-sharpkeen]

throws rocks at him ( YOU CHOOSE WHO SJSKCLC)

"WAIT WHY IS GHOST THEMSELVES LIKE LITERALLY THE MUN THROWING ME THAT GIANT RO--"

dies </3

[sunnymused]

There is a stack of stickers that say, "I got banned from SuperStar Daycare!" You get one before you get kicked out, as a treat :)

[rosegolding]

The safe sex association says: please remember that anytime you talk to your bottom, the conversation will be recorded for future training. thank you and stay safe!

... He thinks he might need to vet his inbox a little more, the spam is getting weird.