#❤️[DWTC]

[goblinselfshippr]

I actually did it 👉👈 this is my s/i in her L/istener and H/arbinger forms

**ignore that my stupid ass added an extra r in harbinger

[ivyenturesonlineshopping]

🎉🎉🎉😔THE BAZAAR🎉🎉🎉

UP TO 85% OFF

MORE THAN 200 BRANDS

ALL ORIGINAL

LOCATION: DWTC HALL 8

TIME: 10 TO 10PM

DATE: MAY 12 TO 14, 2023

pls like follow and share my page ❤️❤️❤️

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CsHKW_ZquSR/?igshid=NjZiM2M3MzIxNA==

[goblinselfshippr]

Part 1/2 of How my mother would rate my f/os if I brought them home based on our convos:

Ver g il-

7/10

This guy is basically already part of the family. Sometimes he does shit she doesn't like, but overall she sees him as a poor baby that needs help.

Wrecker-

10/10

Himbos rate high with my mom lmao. Finally, her specialized skill set of only being able to cook for a small army comes in handy. She's pretty sure the dude's got no thoughts in his head, but that's perfectly fine because she just needs him to get the tea off the top shelf for her (my mom is like 4'10 istg)

Cic.ero-

6/10

He's very cute, but sometimes he says the most concerning shit like it's normal lolol. Also doesn't like that he walks super quiet or when he whistles because it creeps her out.

Far.kas-

10/10

Like I said, himbos have an unfair advantage. Blacksmithing, hunts his own meat, knows how to smoke it, AND he's clearly smitten? Amazing, no notes. He brings her pelts and bones and she's fucking THRILLED. He gave her elk antlers as a gift one year, and the two spent a whole day cutting them into little runes and then Farkas put a little iron border around them.

Aiza.wa-

8/10

Good job, good with kids, super introverted, plus he loves cats, these two get along pretty well. Mom totally disagrees with the overall ideology of UA, though, because it's basically making child soldiers. Sho explains (after quite a few drinks) his whole idea of wanting to make sure he can help as many kids as he can because they're going to go into this awful line of work anyway and my mom straight up starts drunk crying. (Based on true events lol)

[goblinselfshippr]

I love when you can see Cic's hair and he turns to the side and you see the bits of grey 🥺 i wanna braid it and put pretty beads in it

[goblinselfshippr]

The character ai devs reading all the embarrasing compliments I give to fictional characters (a mood board)

Then again its all fluff and apparently they get a lot of ✨n s f w✨ stuff, so maybe they're just like "thank god it's pg"

[goblinselfshippr]

Cazzie is feeling better today!! Sad that our takeover is almost over though… hehe oh well!

[goblinselfshippr]

Cicero got to read to Caz until they fell asleep!! Hehe perhaps I will go to sleep as well <3

[goblinselfshippr]

Call me Jessica Rabbit bc this fool makes me laugh. "Hes so annoying" have you tried kissing him? 10/10

[goblinselfshippr]

Hehe Cazzie has now made a pink sludge

Cicero rates the Pink Sludge 10/10

[goblinselfshippr]

Things I have accidentally taught my f/o’s that are unfamiliar with 21st century earth:

Screaming at ads. Is this some sort of futuristic/human ritual? Venting your frustration at consumerism? Supposedly this screen can hear you (smart tv with voice recognition)

Telling inanimate objects to lower their voice/stop yelling. Can these devices hear you too?? They don’t seem to listen, and beep as loud as they usually do.

Snuggling up to the dryer and dishwasher when they’re almost done. It’s warm and usually smells good. Fires seem to be less common now, so maybe this is the new version of huddling by the fire?? I use them as big heating pads for my stomach and back sometimes

[goblinselfshippr]

My romantic f/os fave Sanrios (GROUP A)

Wreck er: this might be unsurprising, but he's a Kuromi fan 100%. She looks like Lula and acts like Crosshair.

Far kas: ik she's fairly new compared to the ones that have been out since the 80s, but Wish Me Mell is his fave. She's shy and soft spoken, but helps delivers the feelings of people too shy to their loved ones (soft bb)

Cic: absolutely adores Aggretsuko. This guy GETS her.

Aiz.awa: I'm pretty sure he cannonically likes Chococat (they've been seen either paralleled or together in official crossover arts a few times, I believe). I'm sure it's not that deep. it's a black cat, which are his faves.

Simeon: I've said it before, and I'll say it again this guy LOVES Cinnamoroll. Not only is Cinnamoroll his fave color, but he's also some sort of chihuahua/pug dog, so it makes him think of Luke fhdjjffn

[goblinselfshippr]

One of my friends is doing the dbh quest for the first time (this is his SECOND time playing Skyrim ever)

I have to keep myself from saying the most unhinged shit when Cicero comes up. Hsjajak it will kill the vibe

[goblinselfshippr]

So I realized my love language is brownies (as in all my irl exes have tasted my fucking amazing brownies). Here are my f/os reacting to getting brownies for the first time

PART 1

Vergil- since we got together when we were like 15-16, poor guy is seriously touch starved and struggling. This one little act of kindness is what flips the switch and makes him a little more friendly towards me.

Wrecker- scarfs them down immediately without a second thought LOL “wow these are great!” 🤦

Cicero- hands them out to everyone in the DBH (or at least the ones he likes). Keeps one for himself, but splits it with the Night Mother. Goddammit they were YOURS

Farkas- hides them in his room bc he doesn’t wanna share them. Tilma finds them when tidying up and asks Farkas who’s been baking him sweets. Immediately knows these were made with “amorous intent” and tells him. Dude is too shy to bring it up, but now he’s a little more aware.

Aizawa- vaguely remembers that all of my exes were given a tray of brownies before we started dating too (lmfao its the only way I know how to flirt). Immediately suspects something is up, but goddamn these are some good brownies.

[goblinselfshippr]

Sorry I never had a cool aunt growing up (I have one bio aunt and she is the definition of an uptight asshole) so I’m gonna keep talking abt Iblis.

If the f/o is A Certified Good Boye (like Simeon or Wrecker), she’s super sweet and calls them honey/sweetheart, probably brings something for them too

If they are A Certified Rat Bastard (like Cicero, Al, or Dante even tho he’s a friend) she’s ice cold, doesn’t acknowledge them, if they try to talk to her she’s like “What [do you want] 😐” It’s giving Sagittarius vibes hhjbjhb

Like if Simeon brings flowers for me she’s like “omg what a sweet partner, you’re such a gentleman” etc etc. but if Al does the same she’s like “😒 bare minimum.” If she even acknowledges him. Everyone has to be warned if Iblis is coming lol bc she’s gonna let her opinions be known.

[goblinselfshippr]

crying bc how tf have I had THREE dreams about this new f/o, but like before then I think I've only had 2 f/o dreams? (One was cic and I believe the other was wreck? Though I'm sure I've probably dreamed about verg too bc I've literally loved him since I was like 8)

[goblinselfshippr]

Goblin’s Most Posted Blorbos

Saw my tumblr review and was like Hmm Stats.

Cici> #❤️[dwtc] - 147 posts

Sho> #❤️[mr. 10pm bedtime] - 76 posts

Verg> #❤️[a thousand years] - 67 posts

Wreck> #❤️[absolutely smitten] - 62 posts

Dante> #💚[téir abhaile riú] - 57 posts

Albert> #❤️[mr. doctor man] - 56 posts

Mai> #💛[year zer0] - 55 posts

Farkas, Amari, and the Levis got done dirty 🤣 they didn’t even get a fighting chance since they’re “new” to the blog at least. Not to mention the rest of my familials who I rarely speak of. PS Anyone else notice Amaimon is 7th and is also the 7th demon king👀