#⭒ ˙ ˖ ✧ — ˗ˏˋ ❝ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴏɴ ɪɴ; ɪ ꜱʜᴏᴏᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴀ ꜱᴄʀɪᴘᴛ ❞ ¦ 「 Ayumu IC 」

[not-bcring]

Daisuke pulled Ayumu into his lap as soon as they were in the secrecy of Ayumu's own room. Kissing his cheeks, lips, ears, and everywhere he could reach, he said, "I'm sorry I couldn't give you the attention you deserved during game night. I wanted to so badly... I just couldn't. You're not mad at me, are you?" ( Time for some wreckage to make up for not giving him attention earlier. ) - ✧ ˖ ˙ 「 @ncughty-uwu 」 ˙ ˖ ✧

「 ☆ 」 As soon as they were away from prying eyes, Ayumu knew that his boyfriend's demeanor would change... One of the realities of being in a secret relationship, affection not able to be easily given. However, this time, he wasn't sure if the switch would be for the better. Not that he thought Daisuke would ever be CRUEL or dangerous toward him. But no one is immune to frustration and it wouldn't be outside of Daisuke's rights to snap at him for the events of the day.

So imagine Ayumu's surprise when he's tugged onto his partner's lap and covered with an abundance of kisses... and an apology.

Relief battles with guilt, weighing heavily in his stomach as he cups Daisuke's face in his hands and offers a smile. Genuine in that his boyfriend deserves it but hiding an underlying worry, no matter how much Ayumu tries to mask it. ❝ Of course I'm not mad at you, honey... I understand why you couldn't and— you didn't need to. You're not required to shower me with attention all the time. ❞ Even if their games oftentimes beg to differ. ❝ And especially not when there's other people around. ❞

Not until Daisuke is ready.

❝ Honestly? ❞ He begins, smile faltering... before it slips entirely, ❝ I... thought you might be mad at me. ❞ Hands fall from Daisuke's face to lightly grip his shirt instead, gaze following them. ❝ I know I can be... a lot, and I— ... With my reputation, it's— strange if I don't, y'know... When people offer for me to do things like- sit in their laps or... I just— ❞ Grimacing as he fumbles over his words and the nausea in his stomach, cheeks flush with shame. ❝ I don't like having to ignore you sometimes because others want my attention... ❞

If he wasn't such a— ... If people weren't so quick to hone in on him, he could offer more secret affection to Daisuke. Instead of having to drape himself over other guys so no one would question why Ayumu was turning down the affection he very vocally claims he deserves and clearly WANTED.

Green hues flit up to meet Daisuke's eyes, Ayumu swallowing thickly, ❝ Having a secret relationship is already hard enough... being in one with me must be— ... ❞ Even worse. ❝ ... I'm- sorry. For making things more difficult for you. ❞ 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

✩ 「 @nickelsdrocs​ 」 ✩ - Continued from ★

「 ☆ 」 Caught in his clever ruse, Ayumu doesn't even try to deny it. Why should he? His intentions are more than justified, considering how reluctant Daisuke is to share about or even admit the existence of, the unhappiness intertwined in his life. Like silken threads, nearly-invisible but STRONG. Pulling on the other man, preventing him from doing what he wants. Even when Daisuke does allow himself to indulge— Ayumu would consider his mere company a bit of indulgence, since it'd be far less trouble for Daisuke to steer clear of the pink instigator —Ayumu still sees the effects of those strings. Digging into flesh as Daisuke resists, the other man appearing to be holding himself back as well. As if he knows that if he pushes too far, he could be sliced through completely. A scary fate, for anyone to face.

That doesn't deter Ayumu from thinking he SHOULD face it. Whether Daisuke breaks or the strings do, is yet to be seen. Either way, he can't keep existing the way he has been. Bleeding, unseen by others but unmistakably felt. Part of Ayumu insists that he's projecting onto Daisuke. Putting feelings in the chest of his unwitting peer, stirring up problems for someone who doesn't deserve them. All to make himself feel less alone; Ayumu's threads still entangled around his limbs, cutting like razor wire that he's learned to ignore. The pain only registering when he talks to—

But that's neither here nor there.

Daisuke may be able to untangle himself from whatever is holding him back from being his true self. He at least deserves to TRY. If that comes about thanks to a childish game of ❛ Truth or Dare ❜ then so be it. Meeting Daisuke's unimpressed stare with one of his own, he crosses his arms and quirks an unashamed brow. ❝ Well, if you would answer questions without the game, then I wouldn't need to do things like this. ❞ He haughtily retorts, firmly standing by his study-session ruse. Even though he DOES desperately need to make a dent on the pile of homework still languishing on his desk. But finding solutions to those problems are so boring... and not nearly as important as the tight-lipped problem sitting beside him.

Pouting at Daisuke's verbal maneuvering— he should have expected as much —Ayumu rolls his eyes with a scoff, but the playful shove against the other's side and amused smirk tugging at his lips take the sting out of his reaction. ❝ You KNOW that's not what I meant! ❞ Ayumu scolds, laughter lacing the light complaining, ❝ But fine, whatever... I suppose that answer counts. But barely. ❞ Leaning a bit closer, he pokes Daisuke's chest ( half-lidded gaze and purred tone a bit of subtle revenge for ruining his clever ploy ) and teases, ❝ I'll get a real answer out of you next time, just you wait~ ❞

Moving back, he crosses one leg over the other and straightens his back. Spine a bit arched and a hand resting against his chest, he chipperly says, ❝ Alright, now it's my turn. So I'll show you how it's actually done... because I choose truth~ ❞ 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

✩ 「 @nickelsdrocs​ 」 ✩ - Continued from ★

「 ☆ 」 Snickering behind a hand at the stranger's confusion, green hues glitter with intrigue as the ebony-haired man finally realizes what's happening. Wondering how the other feels about the impromptu nickname thrown his way, Ayumu hopes it provides some sort of boost for the guy's ego. He looks like the type who doesn't get many of those. When one flirts as much as Ayumu does, they tend to learn how to spot an asshole. If anything, it doesn't seem to be upsetting the ❛ Big Guy ❜

In Ayumu's defense, nearly everyone is a big guy compared to him.

Peering through long lashes with an intrigued smirk, he makes no attempt to hide the way he studies the man as he walks over. Not a bad view, for sure. Sweat-glistened and confounded by Ayumu's antics... just the way he likes them~ Even though the point of this conversation is to get to the top of the tree, Ayumu spares a moment to imagine what it might be like to climb something else. Lightly nibbling a glossy bottom lip, wandering thoughts shine clearly upon a confidently-cheeky face even as he responds, ❝ Well... You've already noticed the tree. ❞

Gesturing at his body with a flourish of his arm, flirtatious expression falls in favor of something more playful. Tone following suit, it's surprisingly innocent as he laughs, ❝ And you've probably noticed I am not nearly tall enough to scale this thing. Not without help, anyway... That's where you come in. ❞ Pointing at the man with a finger gun, other hand rests on a cocked hip. Hand then motions at the tree behind him, head nodding along with it, ❝ I just need you to get me up to that lower branch and I can handle the rest. ❞

Despite the explanation— if it can even be called that —it's still unclear WHY Ayumu needs to climb that tree. But the smaller male just quirks a brow and teases, ❝ Think you can do that for me, Handsome?~ ❞ 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

"I.... was just w-wondering.... I mean, we've been, uh, 'dating' for a while now... but we've never been on an actual date before... And I know! I know that's mostly my fault.. with the keeping it secret and all... but now that it's out in the open, I just thought.... maybe we could..." Daisuke blabbered nervously, looking anywhere but at his boyfriend as he spoke.

Letting out a deep breath to clear his nerves, he stared deep into the other bright green eyes, smile spreading across his lips just getting to see the other. Finally, he mustered up the courage to reveal the flowers he had been hiding behind his back and ask, "Ayumu Arata, would you like to go on a date with me?"

(Daisuke had to be the biggest sap in the world for their first official date. He is soooo in love with Ayumu.)

-  ✩   「 @nickelsdrocs 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Daisuke’s nervousness doesn’t take Ayumu by surprise as much as one might expect, considering how supportive and shameless their relationship is. No matter how close they may be, Daisuke is an anxious sort. Self-confidence being one of the things the more outspoken male tries to assist with. Not that Ayumu judges Daisuke for having reservations even around his partner; people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, after all. However, he is curious about what brought about the demure demeanor, head tilting quizzically as Ayumu sets aside his phone so that his boyfriend could have his complete attention.

Nodding with an encouraging—  ❝  Uh-huh...  ❞  —as Daisuke mentions the nature of their relationship, Ayumu does have to agree that their circumstances have been- unique. Despite taking longer to develop a genuine bond with Daisuke than Ayumu has with anyone else he’s ever slept with, they had somehow still managed to sort of speed-run their relationship. Going from mutual pining to a LITERAL fuck-fest of a confession— from a first kiss straight to taking Daisuke’s virginity —Ayumu can recall how the majority of that night, and the next day, had been a confusing and overwhelming whirlwind of uncertainty and yet understanding.

Knowing it was a terrifying prospect, for both of them. Allowing themselves to feel THIS deeply for another person... To take the risks that come with love. And yet also knowing that, as much as either might have wished otherwise ( however much ) there was no living without one another after the connection they experienced. Not just the sex— although it was the best Ayumu ever had —but the genuine comfort that came from simply being around each other. They had gone from admitting they wanted each other to slipping into the roles of boyfriends as naturally as breathing. All without so much as a single date to test the waters.

Frankly, Ayumu thinks they should feel pretty proud of that.

Not that he isn’t still ecstatic at the chance to have his first date now. 

Eyes widening alongside his bright smile at the reveal of flowers— actual first date flowers —green hues sparkle with unrestrained joy at the romantic gesture. With Daisuke being the only person to feel a desire to treat Ayumu with any shred of sappiness, it’s no wonder the petite male basks in it with an adorable eagerness. Before meeting Daisuke, and even a while after considering the secretive nature of their relationship, being treated to THIS felt like an indulgent fantasy. Not that Ayumu ever held it against Daisuke; he was already being treated far better than he deserves. With a delighted gasp and an unwitting snatch of the flowers, cheeks flush to match the bouquet as the sweet scent washes over his senses. 

Pressing his face into the smooth petals with a deep breath, he giggles,  ❝  Yes! Yes, yes yes—  ❞  Acting as if he’s accepting a proposal rather than a date, Ayumu jumps up to wrap his arms around Daisuke’s neck, fully expecting his boyfriend to support the surprise shift in weight. Flowers held in one hand as he hugs Daisuke, soft lips crash against his partner’s, Ayumu’s smile slipping into a more comfortable kiss with a happy hum. Thanking Daisuke with the bubblegum-flavored warmth of his kiss, gloss is left behind when Ayumu pulls away, acting as faint proof that he was there... Peppering some more proof across Daisuke’s mouth and cheeks, he then pulls away so he can look Daisuke in the eyes and playfully say,  ❝  I'd love to go on a date with you, Daisuke~  ❞  

❝  And please, feel free to call me Ayumu.  ❞      「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

"H-Hey.... Angel?... Angel, are you alright?" Daisuke asked, noticing his boyfriend unstable state as soon as he entered the other's dorm. Carefully approaching him to make sure he knew he was there but not so loud as to scare him, he looked in Ayumu's dazed but panicked eyes. "Ayumu, are you with me? You need to take slow, deep breaths." But when that didn't garner a response, Daisuke started to fumble for things to do. He didn't really know how to comfort someone, especially someone in this state. Though maybe, if he couldn't bring Ayumu to the waking world, he could bring him to a better one. Adjusting his voice to the one he uses in his ASMR videos, he said, "Welcome to my Angel Wing Parlor. Is this your first time getting your wings?" -  ✩   「 @nickelsdrocs 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」 He doesn't know why he answers her calls. Yes he does. Because he owes her for everything she's done for him. Why he puts himself through this on a weekly basis. Because he's scared that she's right and if he lets her slip through his fingers, he'll eventually end up alone when everyone else realizes how horrid he is too. Why he lets her hateful concerned words sink in so deeply. Piercing his chest and latching on as if barbed, gnarled opinions feeling as if they're shredding him to pieces. Because it's true. Terrible as it is to hear, she's RIGHT... She's always been right.

Sitting on his dorm room floor, cellphone lies by the wall he'd thrown it to as soon as he finished uttering bye. Screen cracked, it lies there in blessed quiet. Not due to announce his mother calling for another seven days... and then this can happen all over again. And again. And again and again and again and AGAI—

Hands clasped over his ears, fingers dig into messy pink locks with a vengeance; as if he can still hear the tell-tale ringing. Still hear HER. Eyes stuck open yet seeing nothing, bitter tears cascade down his cheeks; face flushed with anger, with shame. Chest heaving as he fails to catch his breath, to steady the wretched shaking of his body, it only grows WORSE the longer he goes. Fueled by his frustration at not being able to stop. He has to stop. He needs to stop. He can stop.

He can. He can, he can, he can, he can, he can't, he CAN'T STOP—

He needs... He has to— before someone can see him. Before he has to explain. Before he CAN'T explain. Before they get upset with him for it. Fuck, what if Daisuke sees him? What would he think? What would Ayumu say? How could he... He'll see Ayumu for the confused, cowardly cockwhore he is. He'll realize Ayumu is not as strong as he thinks. As Ayumu claims. Every time he looked at the smaller male, he'd remember this. Daisuke is so... nice. So sweet and self-sacrificial. Maybe he'd stick around because he feels sorry for him. For the pretty little pathetic plaything—

... Someone is talking.

A new voice, breaking through the screeching haze. It's familiar... Foggy but familiar. Ayumu can't quite place it but... he wants to. Needs to. It's a good voice. A safe voice. Different from the ones CLAWING at Ayumu's mind, making his brain bleed out his eyes in the form of hot, salty tears. Please don't stop. Don't stop talking. Whoever it is... Don't leave him. Don't leave him, Daisuke. Trembling, he fights to steady his breathing, sporadic gasps easing into something more manageable... Wanting to better hear the voice. To follow it wherever it's going and out of this Hell. 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

✩   「   @nickelsdrocs​   」   ✩   -   Continued from ★

「 ☆ 」   Ayumu doesn’t have to look at Emi to know she’s not looking... Not that he’s offended. He didn’t record the scenery for her. He didn’t record it for anyone but himself. Still, he’ll likely end up using it in a video; it’s good footage, it could make good b-roll. But right now, its purpose is to help calm him down. Like Emi with her arrows. Not that he’s going to tell Emi that. It’d only get her worked up... and it’s not like anything actually happened. Nothing new, anyway. Simply past memories coming back, as they often tend to do.

It’s not fair... Having to live with what happened. And yet, at the same time- it’s also incredibly fair. Living with the consequences of his choice. But is it really a choice when you’re that young? When the ONE person who was supposed to protect you, is the same person offering you up like a lamb to the slaughter? Lazily scanning his footage, Ayumu shoves those thoughts aside along with the memories. Neither of them will do him any good... and he’d rather not deal with them at all right now. Clicking rewind, he looks at the flowers again.

❝  Yeah, but that’s why I like them...  ❞  Ayumu leisurely replies, not outwardly giving away the internal argument.  ❝  It’s safest when you’re lonely.  ❞  He mutters, not elaborating any further. Where Emi saw a cruel, uncaring world, Ayumu saw a sanctuary. Finding a bittersweet certainty in that nothing would happen if there were no one to do it. People always find ways to hurt. And other people seldom care when they do it... At least, they never have when it comes to him.

Looking at the target, he adds in a louder voice, as if trying to brush past his earlier comment,  ❝  Hey, do you think you can shoot an arrow through that other arrow? Like- split it in half?  ❞     「 ☆ 」 

[not-bcring]

✩ 「 @nickelsdrocs​ 」 ✩ - Continued from ★

「 ☆ 」   Ayumu doesn’t know what he did specifically to get sick— honestly there are plenty of things it could be; he hasn’t been the most careful with his health lately —but this feels like retribution for some horrendous sin. Bedridden, by his own orders, Ayumu opting to pout in bed rather than even attempt to move, he groans into his pillow. A terrible decision, coughing violently at the self-scratch to his throat, harsh sounds muffled.

Whining at his own decision, he turns over with a pout, staring at his desk and the ungodly computer set-up atop it. Wishing that he were sitting there and working on some passion project instead of stuck in this stupid bed feeling worthless, he picks up a used tissue from his blanket and throws it at his work area with a huff... A pathetic throw that only results in the tissue floating down to land right next to the bed. Which does NOT help his mood.

Sitting upright with a grumble when his door is knocked on, he runs his hands through his messy hair as if that’ll tame the unruly pink. Despite being red-nosed, tired-eyed, and disheveled, he still doesn’t want to look like a complete wreck. Even if the only people who would enter his room are Emi and Daisuke. Confused gaze flits down to the rice in his boyfriend’s bandaged hands, carefully taking the bowl with a small and fond smile ( grumpy expression having lifted at the sight of his boyfriend )  ❝  Aw... That’s so swee—  ❞  

And then he sneezes... and his day is ruined again.

Attacked by a storm of kitten-like sneezes, Ayumu hastily sets down the bowl onto his bedside dresser, grabbing a tissue and covering his mouth to try and stifle the sound. Wondering what’ll come first, a merciful death or the end of the onslaught, they finally subside... so Ayumu pitifully plops onto his side and covers his head with his blanket, whining a drawn-out—  ❝  Daisuke...  ❞  —as if his boyfriend is supposed to be able to make his cold just- stop.

❝  I’m siiiiiiiick...  ❞  He whimpers, as if that’s new information. Huffing under his makeshift blanket shield, Ayumu curls up on his bed and says,  ❝  Thanks for the rice, but you should probably just go. I’m not good company right now.  ❞  Does he actually WANT Daisuke to leave? Fuck no. But it feels like the thing to say... and maybe part of him wants to hear Daisuke turn down the offer because he wants to take care of him.   「 ☆ 」 

[not-bcring]

"So, the button labeled 'A' attacks.... and the button labeled 'B' sprints out of the way? What do all the other buttons do?" Daisuke asked, watching his little player dart around the screen as he rapidly pressed the 'B' button. He had never been allowed to mess with such 'peasantly entertainments' like video games back home, so when Ayumu had shoved the controller in his hand, he probably hadn't been expecting to have to walk him through every single mechanic. "Ah, I fell in the water! Why did I fall in the water?" (Here's an actual gift, some Prince Daisuke playing vibeo games with Streamer Ayumu for the first time.) - ✧ ˖ ˙ 「 @nickelsdrocs 」 ˙ ˖ ✧

「 ☆ 」 Ayumu doesn’t doubt that Daisuke has vast knowledge the streamer couldn’t begin to imagine. Princes are supposed to be well-educated, right? For things both useful and superfluous, like politics or what fork to eat salad with. So Ayumu keeps that in mind as he watches the clueless royal sprint around like a madman, choking back a sputter with a quick hand as the character disappears into the rapids and out of existence. Luckily the game isn’t overly-punishing and the player pops back onto the screen— now firmly standing on dry land —a few moments later.

Inhaling a calming breath, smile still shining with unwittingly-fond amusement, he flashes a playful smirk Daisuke’s way. ❝ You fell in the water because you ran right into the water… ❞ Placing a hand atop of the other man’s, dainty finger pointedly slides Daisuke’s off of the abused button so he can’t repeat his past mistake. For the next few moments, anyway. Gesture holds underlying flirtatious energy, the way Ayumu peers at Daisuke through long lashes and the slight purr in his voice easy enough to deny if pointed out… but very hard to ignore when the target of the vixen’s toying. ❝ Let's lay off the sprint button, alright Princey? ❞

Sliding himself a bit closer, there's something purposeful in the way Ayumu gazes up at Daisuke. ❝ You have to handle the controls gently... Ease into it~ ❞ Lashes flutter with practiced ease as he quips, ❝ There will be plenty of time for mashing buttons. ❞ That is, if Ayumu can manage to get the royal to move on from video games to playing with HIM like his mother is pressuring for. But the streamer is confident in his skills... and in his suspicions when it comes to the repressed royal's urges. A few well-placed touches, some thinly-veiled innuendos, and the fact that his short skirt is riding even further up his thigh... and he ought to have the other wrapped around his finger ( and his legs wrapped around Daisuke's waist ) in no time. 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

The scene opens up on a grand throne, ornately crafted golden frame with red velvet seats. Daisuke sits upon the throne with a devil-may-care expression plastered to his face. He adorned official-looking royal guard, complete with a crown and a shoulder cape. Upon seeing the camera had turned on, a smirk found itself on his face before he addressed a non-existant audience. "Greetings, Kingdom of Araya. I am Prince Daisuke of Yume, and I'm addressing you all today to let you know there's been a little change of management around here. But you don't have to take it from me," he announced, ending his statement by motioning to Ayumu standing off set. ( Gift for your pink brat. ) - ✧ ˖ ˙ 「 @ncughty-uwu 」 ˙ ˖ ✧

「 ☆ 」 Ayumu had been eager to try out this scene since Daisuke first propositioned it—his boyfriend has the most wonderfully creative and filthy imagination —the videographer slipping into daydreams whilst in the middle of work. Contemplating how he wanted to play his character. Would he be sheepish and subdued? The poor fallen Prince of a recently conquered kingdom. While it goes against his nature, it can be fun to indulge in a more demure demeanor. Especially when about to be corrupted by a dominant force... But perhaps he should be more combative and cocky?

With his head still held high and expectations of somehow reclaiming his rightful place. Even if he must first face insurmountable odds... as well as the firm and teasing hand of a new ruler. The simulated humiliation would be delicious. Unraveling before an imaginary audience of his subjects, brought to his knees before the ruthless tyrant who invaded his home. Going from brattish to potentially begging... What can Ayumu say? He's not immune to the allure of acting. Nor is his boyfriend, evident by the ease of which Daisuke slips into the smug role.

When given his cue, Ayumu has made his decision... He can't help but meet that smirk with an equivalent challenge.

Sucking in a steadying breath as he embodies his role, spine is straight and chin is raised as he smoothly enters the scene. Each proud step is accented by the rattle of the chains binding his hands and dragging along the ground. Ayumu wears the symbol of servitude as if it were merely an accessory befitting the Prince he ❛ used to be ❜ . Chosen ensemble is sheer and shameless, barely acting as concealment for the body it's complimenting. Extravagant with its golden-thread embroidery, it hugs his curves and pairs with the ribbons interwoven in his hair; pink locks done up in messy buns for the occasion.

Sparing a brief glance at the camera as if regarding his former subjects, expression doesn't change from regally dismissive. Paying no mind to having been adorned as though a prize for the victorious Prince of Yume, the defeated Prince of Araya beholds the man perched upon his throne. ❝ I suggest you enjoy this while you can... because you won't be on that throne for long. Besides— ❞ A cheeky smirk takes the place of indifference, dare-say flirtatious as Ayumu lets his eyes flit up and down Daisuke's royal form, only to brattily declare, ❝ It doesn't suit you. ❞ 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

"Well, aren't you looking handsome today," Daisuke commented upon seeing Ayumu rolling out of bed early in the morning. "In fact, I'd say it's tied for the most handsome you've ever been with every other moment of your life." (Daisuke flirting after they've already gotten together.) - ✧ ˖ ˙ 「 @nickelsdrocs 」 ˙ ˖ ✧

「 ☆ 」 Hair in disarray and clothes more askew than the blankets he had untangled himself from ( Daisuke's shirt hanging loosely on his petite frame ) , Ayumu stretches with a strained grunt. Back pops from the action, eliciting an adorable squeak of surprise before he's finally on his feet. Even so, movements are slowed by lingering sleep. While Ayumu may be one to rise early— on specific occasions he's even been known to rise BEFORE the sun, wishing to record the first rays of light bleeding into the sky —it still takes him time to fully join the waking world.

Mind attempting to catch up to his body, he stifles a yawn before looking at his boyfriend. Apparently bright-eyed and bushy-tailed enough already to flirt, Daisuke's words cause the bleary-eyed ❛ beauty ❜ to gently smile. Rose-tinted cheeks and the fond light in green hues betray how effective Daisuke's compliment is, even as Ayumu playfully replies, ❝ Someone sure is in a good mood... Are my impeccable looks the only reason— or are you still riding the high of last night? ❞

Not that Ayumu could judge even if Daisuke was...

Gently guiding Daisuke down for a good morning kiss, he smiles against his boyfriend's lips with a content hum. ❝ I love getting to see you when I wake up... I want to start every morning this way. ❞ Falling asleep in Daisuke's arms, waking up to his smile... His voice.... Ayumu can't imagine anything better. 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

Ayumu was shaking. The hand on Daisuke's cheek was trembling as they kissed, and he could feel the unsteady breaths mingled with it. Pushing slightly on his boyfriend's shoulders to end the touch, he softly spoke up, "You know, you don't have to do this if you're not feeling up to it. We could just.... talk... or watch a movie or... something. You don't have to force yourself because you think it's what I want." He pressed the other's hand more firmly into his cheek, just to pour his love into it. "I'll still love you. No matter what." ( Daisuke was thinking he hadn't told Ayumu that he loves him enough lately. ) - ✧ ˖ ˙ 「 @nickelsdrocs 」 ˙ ˖ ✧

「 ☆ 」 What a waste of effort... All that time and energy spent to help Ayumu look like less of a wreck— which was NOT an easy task, thanks to him breaking down midway through the make-over. He felt so bad about that, apologizing through his sobs. Needing to be held by Emi until he could regain his composure ( he had thought he cried every tear he had left to shed after he and Daisuke left his mother's... apparently not ) . Yet despite Emi's unwavering encouragement and efforts, Ayumu took the cowardly way out. Opting for what he knows best, whoring himself— like his mother never fails to remind him —to distract Daisuke from the disastrous morning.

It should have been easy... Using his body to his advantage— slipping into one moment to escape another —is something he's done countless times. Yet he couldn't. He failed. Realization settles bitterly in his stomach when Daisuke pushes against him, Ayumu tempted to press forward for one terrifying moment. Desperate to keep their lips together, to try and PUSH THROUGH before Daisuke has a chance to say anything. Only his fear of appearing like he's— ... no, of actually pressuring his boyfriend stops him. He could never do that to Daisuke.

Reassurance only makes his chest grow tight, it getting harder to breathe. To think. Torn between trying once more to confide in his boyfriend ( like he had WANTED to ) and grasping the escape routes lovingly provided. He doesn't have to tell Daisuke. Emi wouldn't fault him for deciding not to. She'd likely be more supportive of it than Ayumu is being toward himself. He could save that horrible admission for another day... A better one. When he doesn't feel like he's going to throw up at the mere prospect of it. A day that Ayumu knows would never come.

Tomorrow. He could tell Daisuke tomorrow... and have one more night with him. There doesn't need to be sex. Even if Ayumu laments the loss of knowing their last time together would be their LAST time. He could still enjoy being held by his boyfriend. Being loved by him, even if only for a little longer...

❝ Y-You promise? ❞ He breathes, thumb caressing Daisuke's cheek. Blinking as the tears rise— Ayumu wondering how many he could possibly possess —he swallows thickly, voice quivering and breaking against his will, ❝ Even i— if... I did something te— terrible? ❞ He can't go on like this. Daisuke has to know. HE has to know if Daisuke will stay. Droplets slide down his face, Ayumu rushing forward to wrap his arms around his boyfriend. Hiding his face against Daisuke's chest, words are muffled as his hold grows tighter, ❝ Pl-Please... Please don't stop loving me when I tell you... Don't go away. ❞

He feels like utter scum for begging... Ayumu had hoped to do this WITHOUT guilting his boyfriend. Daisuke shouldn't be swayed by pity when deciding whether he's disgusted by his actions. But no matter how much he hates himself for it, Ayumu can't let go. He can't stop. ❝ Please Daisuke... Don't hate me. ❞

Like his mother does.

Like his mother should.

Like Ayumu hates himself. 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

"Hey, before you go, there's something I need to give real quick!" Daisuke suddenly spoke up, hurrying over to Ayumu. When he finally got to him, he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on his forehead. "There you go," he said proudly, standing to full height. "Now, you're all set." (And some wholesomeness for these two.) - ✧ ˖ ˙ 「 @ɴɪᴄᴋᴇʟꜱᴅʀᴏᴄꜱ 」 ˙ ˖ ✧

「 ☆ 」 Sullen as he made his way to the dorm's door, there was no need for Ayumu to hide his grimace since Daisuke would see the falseness behind ANY smile he chose to flash today. He had still hoped to quietly slip away nonetheless. No fuss or risk of an argument arising with his understandably-protective boyfriend. Engulfed by an ill-fitting sweatshirt and a pair of old jeans, it's easy to guess who he is visiting this afternoon. Phone calls aren't always enough to satiate his demanding mother.

If such a word is even suitable for the manipulative spider that gave birth to the small fly she continues to emotionally bleed dry to this day, Ayumu not yet ready to untangle himself from her constrictive web. No matter how much he knows Daisuke would prefer if he did. Spun around the core of his being, one would be surprised to see the meek stranger that overtakes the normally outspoken spitfire whenever Ayumu is in her presence. It's a sight that, unfortunately, Daisuke HAD bared witness to the last time Ayumu tried to sneak away for his usual visit.

One that had taken some work to quell the bitter feelings it had created for BOTH of the people in Ayumu's life.

Stopping in his tracks when Daisuke breaks the heavy silence, hand on the doorknob and wariness confusion contorting his brow, Ayumu turns his head to face his boyfriend. Love and curiosity keeps him in place, even if his common sense insists Daisuke is up to something. But whatever it is can only be stemmed from good intentions and Ayumu silently prepares himself for whatever comes next. Certain that he could shut down ANY obstacle thrown his way... He was wrong.

Or maybe Ayumu just wanted to be.

❝ Wha— ... Daisukeeeeeeeeee! ❞ Ayumu whines after the tease of a kiss, blinking dumbly before loudly drawing out his boyfriend's name. Hand falling away from the doorknob, fists ❛ irritably ❜ clench at his sides as he complains, ❝ You really think THAT sad little kiss counts as me ❛ being all set ❜ ? ❞ They both know it doesn't but in a burst of weakness indulgence, Ayumu goes along with the game his boyfriend has set up. It's not like it'll take long... Another kiss or two TOPS, and then he can be on his way. Definitely.

Huffing indignantly, small demanding hands abruptly grab the front of Daisuke's shirt and pulls the taller man down into a kiss. Quick, playful pecks peppered across Daisuke's lips before ending in a proper one. Humming through a smile as Ayumu greets his boyfriend's tongue with practiced ease, he nips at Daisuke's bottom lip for good measure before he pulls away. ❝ There... Now I'm all set. ❞

He could end it at that... Waltz right out the door and leave his boyfriend sweating as payback. Or he could ask through a cheeky smirk— ❝ The real question is... are you?~ ❞ 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

"Who doesn't lock the door?" (I want one too for whichever of our horny bbies you want) -  ✩   「 @ncughty-uwu 」   ✩  

✩   「 Meme  」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」 After a busy week of streaming, several marathon-long charity streams having come out in short succession, one would think that Ayumu would be eager to take a break. But an influencer's work is never done... At least, not until he's given his hornier fans something new to sink their teeth into as well. Chuckling to himself at how many would foam at the mouth at the mere thought of getting a taste of him, the small star repositions the videocamera to capture his entire body.

Last time, his recording was rather up close and personal... So this time, he prepared something a bit more elaborate. Draped in sheer seductive finery, fabric doesn't hide his body so much as it accentuates it. Pink lace cups his breasts in intricate swirled patterns, wrapping around his waist before it fades into short flowing layers of near-transparent fabric. Bottom half bared, legs spread as Ayumu comfortably settles himself on the bed, showcasing his coveted folds to the camera; already growing damp thanks to the familiar scenario.

❝ Alright... And— Action. ❞ Ayumu murmurs, exhaling a steadying breath before a coy smile upturns glossy lips. Lids lowering to cast a knowing look at the camera, as if staring directly at every masterbating fan he knows will scramble to play the video when he uploads it, green hues sparkle enticingly as he purrs, ❝ Hey everyone~ Did you miss me? ❞ Lightly laughing, he slides two fingers down his thighs, fingertips barely grazing his folds as he teases, ❝ Pffft— Just kidding. I know you've been playing my last video on loop this whole time. I see the statistics~ ❞

Fingers finally slip between with a soft, wet noise. Choking down a mewl at the sensation— he knows it drives people crazy when he holds back —he continues the casual conversation, as if not exploring himself in plain view ( albeit there's a slight tremble to his voice now ) ❝ But as GOOD as that last video is, I know you've been dying for something new... And thanks to all the suggestions by dedicated simps, I have some fun toys to try out~ ❞

However, when Ayumu reaches over to grab one laying beside him, the video takes an... unexpected turn. Wide eyes meet the previously unnoticed guest, uncertain how long Daisuke has been standing there, but not nearly as mortified by it as most might expect. He and the Prince have been steadily growing closer, the taller male found in so many of Ayumu's streams at this point that his fans have started asking about Daisuke whenever he wasn't. They've also been prying into EXACTLY how close the two have grown, but Ayumu has been careful not to confirm anything. Mainly because there isn't anything to confirm.

Not that Ayumu doesn't think there COULDN'T be. He's been sprinkling more than enough encouraging hints into their conversations... Starting to wonder if Daisuke could finally be teetering on the edge between being too scared to try anything and wanting Ayumu too much to resist. Maybe, this could be the unceremonious push Daisuke needs to at least admit that he's interested. Even if he won't take any hands-on action... But maybe the remote controlled vibrator beside Ayumu could ease the skittish male into exploring repressed urges.

It was only a moment of consideration, but that's all Ayumu needs before he flashes a faux-confident smirk Daisuke's way and quips, ❝ Huh— I didn't expect a live audience... But I'm not opposed to it. I mean, unless you have something better to do? ❞ Beckoning the other over with a finger and a tilt of his head, Ayumu waits to see if Daisuke takes the bait... Not wanting to consider the alternative. 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

With his body wrapped around Ayumu as they spooned, Daisuke pressed his lips to the top of his boyfriends head. He didn't know if the other was asleep or not, but he muttered to himself, "You're so small. So small and cute. I know how strong you are, but like this, you just seem so delicate." (Some wholesome cuddles for these two.) -  ✩   「 @nickelsdrocs 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」 Completely enveloped in Daisuke's embrace, in the feeling of his boyfriend being HERE with him, Ayumu feels as though he could happily lay there forever. Nothing and no one can touch him so long as his lover's arms are holding him close. Not even the insecurities within Ayumu's own mind hold any power in this moment. Breathing slow and steady, eyes shut and face nestled against his boyfriend's chest, it's no wonder Daisuke assumes the smaller male could be asleep.

Truthfully, Ayumu has been drifting in and out of consciousness. Teetering on the edge of slumber, ready to surrender to it without fear when beside his boyfriend. Eyes lazily flutter open when Daisuke's voice fills the quiet air, so soothing... so safe.... Shuffling closer to his partner's warm body— if that's even possible —he affectionately rubs his face into his boyfriend's chest with a pleased hum, before turning so his cheek is pressed against it. Using the others heartbeat as a lullaby, green hues lovingly gaze up at the larger man.

❝ ... I don't mind being delicate around you. ❞ Ayumu murmurs, words holding a deep fondness. Being small and cute, wonderful as it may be, is just as much a curse as it is blessing. For every person Ayumu could manipulate with a flutter of his lashes or a pout of his lip, there were far more who saw his stature as an invitation to treat him as an object instead of a person. Someone to be used, to be controlled. Not seeing Ayumu's strength until it's forcibly shoved in their face. Even then, they never acknowledged it... But Daisuke sees him for all he is. For WHO he is.

That's why it's so great being ❛ small and cute ❜ with him.

Why he wouldn't have it any other way. 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

(( Tag Dump - Ayumu Araya ))