#⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( OUT OF ) ⤹ •• 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟.

[unladielike]

Not gonna lie... I was not expecting there to not only be two asks and an IM from a mutual here, but a reply as well, especially since I hadn't been active ever since December 30th of last year? In fact, with how low my motivation to be on tumblr has been to begin with (and how awfully disappointing my experience has been in the RPC during the latter half of 2023), I was perfectly content, just letting my blogs fade into obscurity. Why, at this point, it's not exactly a closely guarded secret I harbour quite a massive dissatisfaction with tumblr's current roleplaying scene as a whole, so me not having replies/asks honestly incentivized me to focus more on playing Granblue Fantasy, to the point where if I go days/weeks without writing a single thing, it's because I was either working or grinding stuff.

Still, I do plan on replying eventually! It's just that at the moment, I sadly have my hands full with grinding the Unite and Fight event (aka Guild Wars), which is a event that has coincidentally happened around the same time I would previously get things I owe. Either way, I really want a sand...

Therefore, I will likely get to queuing/answering the reply/IM/asks on Wednesday before subsequently dipping once more! For now, though, please bear with me as I thrust myself back into Granblue Fantasy hell.

[unladielike]

To be honest, I could bring myself to get with the times and add an 'Affiliated with' and 'Mains' section on Vivian's Pinned Post like all the youngins on here, but I'm cursed with the affliction of threads on this blog rarely extending past two notes due to the fact I have abysmal luck when it comes to pulling roleplay partners that won't vanish/deactivate on me, so realistically speaking, @illholy, @spiritpyro, and @dis--parity would be the only ones I could say I'm affiliated with... while my mains would probably be a constant '???', just because I'm uncertain on who even considers me a main at this point.

I mean, I'm fine with not being considered an affiliate in return, especially since Judith is permanently a part of Vivian's default canon verse for example regardless, but mains wise, I don't wanna assume stuff or be presumptuous... so for the longest time, I opt not to update my Pinned Post. Like, perhaps one day, Vivian would end up being important to more muses, but she tends to not receive much engagement compared to other blogs, I'm unconsciously all, 'God, who even wants this trash girl as their main?'.

Granted, I know I should probably be more confident about my OC since I've been writing her for ages now; only... even after all the time, I still can't help being self-conscious about Vivian, since I get the sense I'm the black sheep of the RPC and I know her personality can be a lot.

[unladielike]

...Alright, so I'll be frank. Between getting followed back and then wordlessly blocked after liking a starter call as well as being continuously slandered by someone who's been harassing me/talking smack about me non-stop on this platform ever since March, I have now reached a point where I'm absolutely exhausted by the current state of the RPC.

Honestly, it seems like no matter how hard I try, attempting to get more interactions feels like pulling teeth and furthermore, being the targeted victim of a smear campaign doesn't exactly help improve my morale either, so unless I have enough replies to queue, activity will be scarce until the RPC feels less hostile/unwelcoming.

Of course, I apologize to those of you who had been looking forward to interacting with me, and honestly, I'm grateful for the interest, but there's not much that incentivizes me to actually stick around. Like, sure, maybe that might eventually change with time, but in the meantime, you can ask for my Discord.

[unladielike]

UPDATES:

Updated Vivian's relationship tab to specifically include @more-than-a-princess and @xamassed (but if you would rather not have your muses featured there, feel free to tell me and I'll gladly remove them!). This, of course, is subjected to change as Vivian interacts with more muses.

The anonymous function is now temporarily off for asks because the anons I've been getting are random or have nothing to do with either Vivian/roleplaying in general (ie: 'What is [mun name I'm not familiar with]'s current blog?'/telling me about a personal blog that has reblogged one of my musings post with a screenshot of my tags, both of which while not hateful, were incredibly off-putting to me and stuff I would rather have answered privately.)

Added a 'The Caligula Effect 2' AU for Vivian's verse page and included this in the Interest Checker

Updated my rules page (but those who followed me on May 2 or after don't have to read it). Of course, they are pretty much worded the same as my rules on my multi, but the only difference is that the Personals and Shipping section is phrased differently with particular emphasis on the fact I'll be turned off from shipping with another mun if they timeskip ahead to a point where Vivian and their muse are already close friends instead of letting the slowburn develop naturally throughout the course of a few interactions, because it has happened before where a mun had jumpscared me with unexpected romance despite the fact the asks they sent were never continued into threads and our sole thread together only had two notes.

I'm also no longer gonna chase (aka follow first) muns that are blog hoppers/archivers, especially if they have issues with commitment (failing to write me a starter/answer asks I've sent them or dropping threads after only two notes).

I'm now putting my foot down and unfollowing blogs who follow me first but make no effort in interacting (whether it be through liking/replying to posts or writing with me)... but I'm not strictly mutuals only anymore, meaning I will happily refollow blogs I've unfollowed again if they actually make an effort in engaging with me.

Basically added a section for Memes, Threads, and OOC Conduct, so my partners would know what to expect from me as a partner.

[unladielike]

So since it has been brought to my attention some rumours have been circulating about me, I just wanna make a few things clear.

First off, I did not supposedly stalk anyone's blog for years.

If need be, I can even provide my IP address (aka self-dox myself) to prove any screencaps to be false, but I'm nowhere near obsessive enough to check somebody's blog everyday. Like, sure, I might visit blogs of ex-mutuals every once in a blue moon out of curiosity, but contrary to popular belief, tumblr doesn't take up 90% of my time and at best, I would maybe lurk on COAR to read new confessions or refresh my dash once per day just in case non-active partners of mine have returned.

If anything, my time has been mostly comprised of going to work and grinding mobile gachas; in fact, should I notice I have replies to write, I will log in, throw my replies into the queue/save written replies in my drafts folder to queue later, and then fuck off to do other stuff. Honestly, provided someone has beef with me, it's unlikely I would know why unless my encounter with them on tumblr had been rather recent.

To my knowledge, I haven't harassed anyone off of tumblr.

Now, did I have spats with my own fair share of people over the eight or nine years I have been on this hellsite? Yes. Have I made vague posts about ex-mutuals, unintentionally ghosted others, privately vented to friends about people from the RPC I personally can't stand, and commented on COAR confessions? Also, yes.

But that being said, the only one I've ever sent anon hate to was myself and if I played a part in somebody deactivating their blog or quitting tumblr roleplay altogether, then that's certainly news to me, because I don't like participating in public smear campaigns, to the point where I even avoid name dropping certain users in my rules or PSAs I've made. Heck, the way I see it, I can only ever recall myself being relentlessly harassed/bullied, because when it comes to me for some reason, people on this site sadly don't know how to block and move on like normal people.

I also have never encouraged anyone to delete their blogs or chase them out of the RPC and have only ever reported one person due to the fact they would not stop posting about me/attempt to provoke me into engaging in drama on a site that we both frequent despite having me blocked; therefore, I have no idea where the narrative of me harassing people off of tumblr even comes from. Besides, I'm nowhere near popular enough to influence whatever following I have to dog pile on whoever I have grievances with, let alone have many people who would go to bat for me each time I'm being unfairly criticized. Honestly, the one time someone did call out my harasser, it was something I had no control over and they did so without my permission, to the point where I did privately tell them to stop url-dropping me and engaging with this person on my behalf... because again, I just wanted to be left alone.

Furthermore, I make it very clear to mutuals I've vented to that they don't have to unfollow/block roleplayers I've had bad experiences with... so I'm not sure if this is merely a case of the Mandela Effect rearing it's ugly head, individuals making up bad faith reasons to dislike me, or an issue of mistaken identity (especially since I'm likely not the only one who goes by the mun handle, 'Livi', and it has happened before where somebody had wrongly assumed a blog belonged to another person).

Of course, it's possible I could have forgotten stuff, as I have had more than three blogs over the years, so naturally, I won't remember all the OOC posts I have ever shared, let alone every instance before 2022 where I have been involved in drama... but regardless, I refuse to take accountability for things I have never done unless you personally come to me off anon with screenshots that provide evidence.

[unladielike]

          this time, i won’t give in...

                           I’M NOT LISTENING.

       independent, semi-selective oc written by livita.

[unladielike]

So since tomorrow is Vivian’s birthday (4/20), you are all welcome to send her asks if you would like! Admittedly, it’s my birthday too because I was not creative enough back then to give her one that’s completely different from mine, but to be honest, I would ideally prefer Vivian to be the recipient of asks if only because I would like to keep OOC posts on this blog to a very bare minimum. However! I know only a handful of you have gotten around to interacting with her thus far, so I would allow anonymous asks or non-romantic pre-established asks to be sent.

Honestly, though, considering Vivian is often on social media as a white haired anime girl, it wouldn’t be too far-fetched for your muse to maybe not have interacted with her personally but still corresponded with her through sites like Reddit, Twitter, or ArchiveOfOurOwn.

Regardless, there is no expiry date for when you can send Vivian birthday asks - I just ask that you do not send in multiple asks with the same muse and just opt to continue the first ask response into a thread for the sake of my own sanity!

[unladielike]

...So since I notice my legacy editor just poofed out of existence, I guess tumblr finally forced my blog to be beta-only? Which means I'll essentially be using the beta editor from now on. Though, fortunately, I did already manage to adjust to it, so it wouldn't have been as big a loss as it would have been months ago, but still, I can't believe tumblr overlooked my blogs for two whole months following the anointed date they said they were going to terminate legacy.

Either way, I have now updated my pinned post to say I only use the beta editor due to how I have officially joined the rank of blogs who are beta exclusive.

[unladielike]

MULTIMUSES, PLEASE SPECIFY A MUSE! you know the drill... like this post for me to write you a starter. for once, though, there will be no cap, because my activity has been very dead in terms of IC interactions, to the point where i’ve been posting memes, opens, and headcanons like nobody’s business in order to give off the illusion i’m an active roleplay blog... in other words, i’m very desperate for more threads/interactions.

but just note that unless you mention being interested in a certain verse, i will either default to using vivian’s modern verse or any other verse that i deem would be compatible with your muse’s, and your starter may or may not be pre-established (due to the general distaste i have for first meeting scenarios.)

[unladielike]

( due to the rise of blogs with ‘pro-shippers dni’ in rules pages, i amended my rules to now include the following: )

Due to prior past experiences, I usually judge a blog based on it's rules, so on the off chance you're an anti-shipper/anti/fanti, have a 'you aren't entitled to communication/explanation' mentality, or just reek asshole vibes, then it doesn't matter how quality you are - I will avoid you like the plague. And before anyone misunderstands, here is my stance on pro-shipping/pro-shippers as a whole, so please consider reading this first before you jump to any wild conclusions about me. Thank you.

[unladielike]

Kinda late... but I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who had wished Vivian and I a happy birthday! In all honesty, I was not expecting such a high turnout of asks, but as someone who has abysmal luck when it comes to reblogging memes and is more often than not the one who is sending asks rather than receiving them due to said aforementioned luck working against me, I was honestly very pleased to see people taking time out of the day to celebrate something that self-indulgent with me!

Of course, it’s no secret that the RPC tends to be a very lonely, isolating place, to the point where I often question my place in it, but at the very least, I do remember feeling very loved and seen on my birthday... something I hadn’t felt in ages, so it means a lot, knowing you guys would pull through, even though you might have had a lot on your plate or had a limited amount of spoons back then!

Unfortunately, though, I’m still kind of frustrated with the direction tumblr is taking their site (especially when it comes to asks being locked to BETA editor only without any way of using the HTML or Markdown text editor in order to edit asks), haven’t really been wanting to try putting myself out there again due to burnout/other stuff, and have Guild Wars left to grind... so while I will reply to threads whenever I get them, my presence on the dash might continue being scarce.

I will, however, try to send asks to my fellow mutuals if they happen to reblog non-ship or smut inclined memes, but overall, I’m treating roleplay as a hobby - not a site I’m now obligated to be active on everyday.

[unladielike]

( alright, after talking it over with @laplacemail​, i added this to my rules underneath the ‘Reasons I May Unfollow / Block’ section: )

If I notice you interact with two people I’m personally uncomfortable with, I may potentially unfollow or softblock as my reaction to seeing them on my dash is really that bad, but I won’t be mentioning who they are and what they have done unless you privately message me about it, because I don’t want to draw negative attention towards them.

[unladielike]

MULTIMUSES, PLEASE SPECIFY A MUSE! NO CAP BECAUSE I RARELY RECIEVE A LOT OF NOTES WHENEVER I POST STARTER CALLS TO BEGIN WITH, BUT I RESERVE MY RIGHT TO NOT WRITE YOU ONE IF I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH INSPIRATION FOR YOUR MUSE.

( now that i have more followers... would you mind giving this post a ♡ if you would like a starter from vivian? ofc, this would be pre-established or vaguely pre-established, in that vivian would already know your muse’s name, because i rarely derive any enjoyment from writing strangers meeting for the first time anymore, but i’ll try my best to make it as engaging as i possibly could! )

[unladielike]

Does Vivian fit the ‘I’m not like other girls’ trope?

Well... not exactly, ‘cause you see, Vivian isn’t the type to really make fun of other women for being stereotypically feminine. She just wouldn’t be able to relate to them and would automatically feel a lack of true connection towards them, since she is so tomboyish, you would never catch her painting her nails, doing her makeup, or wearing pink (unless it’s from something with the colours of the pansexual flag).

Of course, she does find feminine girls to be pretty, but she doesn’t want to emulate them and would zone out if they talk about feminine things, because it really doesn’t interest her and her autism prevents her from really paying attention to things she doesn’t care about. Seriously, I remember when Hayate mentioned fortune telling once and she basically just... stared off into space after a while.

Vivian is also kind and sensitive to injustice, so not only does she have little tolerance for bullies, she’s pretty much nice to everyone... until they give her a reason not to be. Honestly, as long as you treat her with kindness and honor your promises with her (meaning you don’t ditch her to hang out with your boyfriend), it doesn’t matter how girly you are - she would still like you.

She does, however, really dislike normies and conversations revolving around romance. Why, considering how bitter she is, Vivian has a tendency to look down on normies, due to the fact she’s jealous of how they have people wanting to date them and are perceived as conventionally attractive (while also ironically remaining oblivious to her own secret admirers)... therefore, I could see her envying/disliking girls with ‘pretty privilege’, ‘cause unlike them, she pretty much acknowledges she isn’t the sort of girl most straight men would fantasize about.

Due to how jaded she is as well, she also isn’t a hopeless romantic who would dream about having her own wedding or falling in love with the ideal partner, so she would make her displeasure very evident if someone were to stress the importance of  true love to her. Like, she would legit roll her eyes and fake gag, especially during instances where she isn’t shipped with anybody... because it’s honestly not something she finds herself wanting. She just wants to be railed by a hot, domineering man (who is ideally 2D, but she would settle for any man irl who happens be attracted to her and is willing to top).

[unladielike]

( so i just ended up noticing someone finally hardblocked me on both blogs, but considering this person is a major meme spammer who never even replies to/answers stuff half the time, let alone bother meeting me half way even once despite the fact i kept sending them asking asks/liking their calls, i’m just like ‘ugh, good riddance’. i mean, yeah, we had a thread on my multi, but after i replied literally once, it ended after only one note.

they also mentioned in their rules they would block for vague posting, but i don’t recall ever doing that recently, unless you count me mentioning in my rules i might unfollow/block if i notice you interacting with two specific individuals, and even then, i didn’t once namedrop or force other people to pick sides.

like, yeah, at a certain point, i stopped sending in asks but i literally put this in my rules:‘...there’s only so many asks/memes or starters I can write/send if they keep getting ignored. Of course, while I don’t mind people taking their time with replying, I will simply stop putting in the effort to interact with you if you keep reblogging memes without ever answering the ones I’ve sent, dropping our threads after only a few notes, or not even bothering to leave a like on the starters I’ve written you to express you’ve seen it. Granted, it's one thing if you tell me OOC you have seen it and will reply to it later, but if all I ever receive is dead silence from you, I will stop trying until you put in actual effort to interact with me back.’ 

...but if they ended up hardblocking me due to the fact i stopped engaging with their posts, then I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU, but roleplaying is a two way street? like, if you want someone to constantly send you stuff or express interest in your content, then maybe consider putting in actual effort when they attempt to interact with you and not treat them like a number to your follower count. )

[unladielike]

( i’m too lazy to bother formatting this properly, but here’s a tentative starter call, where you can either like this post/reply with which muse you want vivian to pester and i’ll write you a little something. ofc, knowing me, it will likely be pre-established where the introduction phase is skipped entirely, but unless specified otherwise, it will take place in her default modern verse. )