wanderpawn

[wanderpawn]

Made a new "OC" 🥲 his name is Elder Zero, and he's a transgender missionary (unfortunately)

[wanderpawn]

Progress on my Mr. Reca coat !!

The undercoat has been (almost) completely finished, this is what it looks like without the top coat on !

Today I drew the film reel designs on the back of the tails with a fabric marker, now all I need to do is make the heat transfer decal for the front !

The process of the top coat has been a little delayed because I was hospitalized last week 🥲 I'm already back to it, though ! Con is in a little over two weeks so wish me luck !!!

[wanderpawn]

Wishing a very happy Pride Month to all my dearest cast & crew members...!!

[wanderpawn]

I hope making this blog wasn't a bad idea haha

"I want to shine even brighter

and become a star that only I can be!"

✧⋅⋆⋄♡⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄꣑ৎ⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄♡⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

☆ミ

📸: Banana Corgi

[wanderpawn]

I made a blog for all my idol posting :3

@brilliantstars ✩

Friends and anyone who likes my idol art and cosplays please follow !! ♡ (I don't want to be lonely haha...)

Going to post some cosplay photos there later so you better come ! :P

[wanderpawn]

Two very different worlds...

[wanderpawn]

I cosplayed my transmasculine Yume Nijino headcanon !! ✨🎀

‧₊˚ ⊹ 𝜗𝜚 ‧₊˚ ⊹

I'm so happy with how the wig came out !! It's so cute I don't even want to use the twintails it came with, haha ! 🥹

I'm getting the Premiere Berry Coord and the S4 uniform sometime this week hopefully, so look forward to photos of them soon as well ! ♪

[wanderpawn]

Memokeepers and the Inherent Circumstance of Memories

a short analysis / drabble about the state of memokeepers in honkai star rail, told from the authentic perspective of one lonely film director.

“Memories are notoriously unreliable.”

That's a quote from my favorite production. Or am I remembering it incorrectly?

Nonetheless, memories exist in our minds as static images and phrases, sights, sounds and smells; but we can't always trust them. The more we replay our memories, the more warped and twisted they become, until eventually, they're no longer accurate as to what they were meant to represent… so it feels like they're no longer real. 

But what if I told you that's not true…?

There isn't really an “unreliability” of memories, because the fact that they exist in our minds is evidence enough that they're real. The events that happen in our minds, however accurate or not, exist as real concepts. 

I mean, is this not essentially one of the basic tenets of Memokeeping?

According to a philosophy a friend once shared with me, “as long as you exist as a concept in someone’s mind, you're real.”

So, then, what happens when you're a formless being, who completely gave up your mortal existence to endure amongst the universe’s memories? Do you exist in the way you always have? Or do you not exist at all? 

Imagine this: You're human. Young or old, wise or not, you decide the best course of action for you would be to start fresh. Take on a new role, free of the confines of human existence. 

So you become a Memokeeper. 

Your human existence is now a fragment of the past. Does that make it not real? You can remember it, after all!

How will others perceive you? Will they remember the “you” of before? Or will they only see the “you” of now, the formless entity that lives only through abstract memories? Maybe you'll start to wonder if you ever truly existed in the first place…

I'll give you an example. Perhaps there was once a young girl, in her early twenties. She could not stand her physical form, it made her completely sick to look at it...! It wasn't right for who "she" was. 

Suddenly, there's this opportunity; this human can look however they want, for the meager cost of dedicating their life to preserving memories. ‘Well, that's easy enough… I already do that anyway...’ might cross their mind, so they accept. 

It's like a blank slate, if you will… all the pain of the past erased, with the ability to be whoever you want at any moment. And for that, this newfound Memokeeper will finally be at peace with their existence. 

The preservation of memories is tricky. It's true… only preserving them in the most pure of ways is acceptable. 

Living without tangible proof to remember the things that happen to us is dangerous. Human brains are powerful things, and they'll eventually warp everything that comes into contact with them over time. 

So, what I'm getting at is eventually, your past will be erased if someone doesn’t preserve it. 

That newfound Memokeeper… will their existence as the “she” of the past be forever distorted with time? Or will they have their own way of preserving that hopeless feeling of what it was like to be that lost, young girl…?

Personally, as a Memokeeper myself, I think…

Memories are notoriously authentic. 

I've been intending to write an analysis on Memokeepers for quite a while now, but this attempt turned into more of a narrative style, haha... I do hope it wasn't too dense or abstract! (I'll probably get my act together and write an actual analysis of why Memokeepers can be read as a dissociative/trans allegory with evidence from the game someday... it's a very dense topic, though...)

[wanderpawn]

Such a 𝓫𝓻𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓽 idea...!! Naturally, inspiration always strikes where one least expects it to, doesn't it...?

[wanderpawn]

My Reca coat mock up has been finished !

I've already started working on the real thing...!

Also excitingly,

I've enrolled in my first semester of film school !!

I'd like to take a moment to remind you all that I decided a long time ago that I'd do anything for art, so your threat means nothing to me...!

Anyway, this is why I haven't been posting as much art here lately, I've been really busy sewing and preparing for school !

Just an update for you all :)

[wanderpawn]

𝄞₊ ⊹ Conducting a melody of melancholy, but they still manage a small smile... ♪ ༘⋆

[wanderpawn]

Pondering.

[wanderpawn]

what brush do u use??

This one is my favorite lately, I've been using it for almost everything !

I also use this one with the texture set to 0 when I want something cleaner !

Both of these are free csp assets ! Hope this helps you anon :D

[wanderpawn]

🎀 première berry coord 🍓

[wanderpawn]

♥️ Today is my Six Months Recaversary ♥️

An entire half a year of knowing I'm Mr. Reca ! 🎞️🎬

To think I was far too terrified to say my own name out loud for so long... I used to be so incredibly embarrassed to be myself in the beginning. We've certainly come a long way in half a year !

I'll be starting film school before my One Year Recaversary. I'm really looking forward to it ! Film school, that is... but also to a year of being Reca !

Someday cinematography will definitely be in reach ♥️

[wanderpawn]

I made some more transmasc Yume edits and sketches ^^;;

After all these years listening to so beautiful story still makes me tear up, haha ! I listened to it while drawing these 🥹

[wanderpawn]

Been drawing a lot of transmasc Yume lately....

I grew up with my Yume protecting me, and now it feels like they've grown up alongside me, too 🥹