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cryptonite-exe · 1 year

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lust for life

𓆩♡𓆪 diluc x gender neutral! reader

𓆩♡𓆪 header artist ; @/erimmyon

𓆩♡𓆪 genre ; smut (don't interact if you can't handle smut)

𓆩♡𓆪 cw ; submissive diluc, breeding kink, teasing, handjob, creampie, diluc begging bc hes babyboy

𓆩♡𓆪 a/n ; coming back from hiatus with this 🤸

there was an apparent cozy atmosphere within the tavern, perhaps it was the reason a few patrons had fallen asleep. the soothing tunes of the local bard fell flat as diluc gestured that it was closing time. diluc stays behind the bar, cleaning the used glasses as charles escorts the intoxicated and drowsy customers outside to go home to their probably fuming partners.

after a while, charles bids farewell and leaves diluc to close the tavern. the dim lights and fading candlelights are all that's left to accompany him. he wipes down the tables as he reminisces of the past hours. recalling the pleasant conversations he had with frequent patrons and the not so pleasant ones with drunkards picking a fight. his hands set down the last cup into the cupboards and he throws the towels into a basket in the corner. he sighs from relief, seeing all his work done for the day.

after throwing on his coat, he locks up angel’s share and leaves. the once lively tavern during the day turns into a lone one in the dark, waiting for the arrival of its owner at dawn. the trail to his manor is a long one, nothing but the silence of night to be heard. as exhausted as he is, his guard remains up nevertheless. he found the quiet journey all the while worth it. when he arrives at home, he leaves his boots at the front, the boots you gifted when you saw how worn out his past ones were. he sheds his coat and hangs it on the coat rack before heading up the stairs to the bedroom.

he gently turns the knob and enters. the aroma of honeysuckle immediately enters his senses. a small smile forms when he notices the scented candle on your tableside. he removes the remainder of his clothing, changing into nothing but pajama pants before joining you in bed. you must’ve noticed when the bed dipped as you stirred awake. you shifted from your position to face whatever awoken you from your sleep. you could barely see with what little light illuminated this person, but when you saw the familiar head of red hair, you let out a hum of satisfaction. “mm, how was work?” you ask with a hoarse voice, evident of your slumber. “missed you so much.” he says, pulling you closer to him. his arm remains around you, holding you close while rubbing circles on your back. he kisses the entirety of your face, from your nose to your cheeks to your forehead and lastly at your lips. you laugh at how ticklish it felt. he continues to softly kiss you, smiling into it when he feels you snake your arm to the back of his neck. when he moves down, he makes sure to pay attention to every part of you. whether it be caressing, kissing, nuzzling, he leaves nothing untouched.

“missed me that much?” you tease when you notice the desperation in his touch. he replies with a hum, too busy nipping at your skin to give a full reply. “shouldn’t you- be sleeping?” you stutter when you feel his cold hands roam under your nightgown. “we haven’t done it in so long, i need you.” he pleads, looking up at you with eyes shining in the moonlight. you look back at him with a surprised expression but it’s true, conflicting schedules and busy days resulted in this. one of his bartenders has been out sick for the past week, making diluc take more shifts than he usually would. he’d come home tired and barely conscious enough to reply to your attempts at a conversation, but you don’t hold it against him.

“if you say so mr. darknight hero” you tease once more, enjoying the immediate flushed expression on his face. “oh, stop it” he replies, embarrassed at the given title. the cheeky grin on you soon disappeared when he started removing your garments until every part of you was met by the chilly air in the room. but before he could touch another part of you, you were quick to push him down onto the bed. his eyes widened when you straddled yourself onto his lap, settling right on top of his crotch. “figured you need a reward for working so hard,” you say, looking down at him. you could hear his breath hitch when you leaned down, your lips on the soft skin of his chest, slowly leaving love marks sprawled out. as stoic and as aloof of a man diluc is, that side of him fades away to your very touch, showing the vulnerable touch starved part of him to you. you made your way up his body, returning the gesture with numerous kisses. words don’t come out of his mouth to retort as you reach his lips. soft lips on soft lips, the kiss was as sweet and passionate as always. you let out a soft gasp when you felt him grow hard underneath you. still continuing the sensual makeout, you slowly grind your hips against his, creating friction enough to have him moan into the kiss.

you could see how untouched he’s been for days on end. his hips move to try and meet your movement. when he finds the rhythm that matches yours, his moans grow louder as his voice breaks up more. “hngh- please! i need you” he moans. you could feel his precum soak through his pants, creating a wet spot on the fabric. his muscles stiffen as he feels you pull down his pajamas along with his underwear. his cock springs out, eager with the way it hits his abdomen. there's a pool of pre on his tip, along with the sound of arousal coming from him as the midnight air hits his cock. your lips form a small smile, seeing diluc in such a state. your hands wrap around the base, making sure to place a firm hold that gives him pleasure from that alone. you stroke upwards, all the way to his tip. a whorish moan makes it past his lips along with his hips bucking into your hand. his hands long left your body to cover his face. perhaps he felt embarrassment from this arrangement because, at such an angle, you can see every part of him. the way his thighs twitch, the way he sucks in a breath every time you stroke his tip.

but oh how cute.

“c’mon don’t hide from me, i wanna see your pretty moans” you coo. your hand still continues to jerk him off. your thumb running along the slit of his tip sends his head back into the pillows. he feels the heat in his stomach intensify with each stroke of your hand. “oh archons, please please please! so close!” he sobs, tears prickle his eyes as his climax approaches. his moans are a mix of pleas and cries. yet at the edge of his incoming orgasm, you release the tight grasp you had on his cock. he immediately whines at the loss of that ecstasy. you chuckle at his cute whimpers. he was still trying to catch his breath when you took his hands and guided them down, resting them on your thighs. you raise your hips, leaning your balance on your knees. you line the tip of his cock against your entrance. “wait you’re n- ah!” he exclaims. his grip on your thighs tightens as you plunge yourself down his cock. “fuck! i’ve been.. touching myself when you’re not here.” you moan, not giving a fuck about anyone hearing you. for the past week, not having diluc around really tortured you. in the evenings, it gets worse. the usual intimate hours for you both became lonely ones for you. you’d fuck yourself open like he was watching. but the way his cock stretches you out even more has you delirious, your fingers were never enough to have you like this. he could only moan at your confession. his mouth hung open with endless moans flowing out of him as you’d raise yourself up to only drop back down on his cock over and over. “mm.. you’re so big, so good!” you slur out due to the overwhelming feeling of his cock brushing against your walls. both of his hands settle on your thighs, harshly gripping the flesh there. he grits his teeth and thrusts up, meeting your pace. you couldn’t help but throw your head back in awe. your tight hole clenches around him at every thrust. you were sure your voice will be long gone by the time the sun rises, but you couldn’t give less of a fuck about that right now.

“you, feel so good, so fucking good, angel” he alluringly wails. the aching hunger for him easily outweighs the burning sore on your thighs. you mewl when he brings you down for a kiss. the kiss was sloppy and slow, desperate moans leaking in between each breath. the sensual kiss progressed into a deep embrace, savoring the taste of each other. your bouncing became careless grinding to chase your high. “i’ll take a day off, a week off- i’m never letting you go again” he proclaims, wrapping his arms around your waist. he helps the knot in your stomach slowly unravel. your elbows rest on his shoulders with your hands cradling his head. you mumble whatever your conscious mind can conjure while he whispers sweet nothings to you.

your mind turns fuzzy as he continues ruining your insides. your head hangs low as you feel like you were about to burst from all this pleasure. his fully hard cock reached places no toy of yours could ever touch. beneath your thighs lie a pool of both pre-cum and sweat getting continuously mixed from the endless thrusts from diluc. and if somehow it could get louder, yours and diluc’s moans did. when you could feel the edge of your orgasm approaching you, your breath started to stagger. you knew diluc was approaching his as well when his thrusts started staggering. “my angel, my sweet angel, please please! ‘m so close!” he whimpers. “let me cum inside please! wanna fill you up so bad, i’ll breed you so good!” he pants, tightening his hold on you and pulling your body flush against his. your mind can barely think of a single word and neither can your mouth say a word. “hhnnn! yes! oh fuckk.. fill me up ‘luc-” you stutter when you felt his cock twitch inside you. and by some possibility, he fucks you even faster.

in just a few thrusts, that familiar euphoria rushes through your body. “ah! ahh! i’m cumming- there! righttt there!” you cry out. your toes curl and your back arcs at the intense sensation. your vision blurs, and you could only lean on diluc for support. diluc doesn’t stop ramming into you like his life depends on it. your hole practically became a pretty toy for him to use at his own disposal. “you’ll let me fill you up, right? you feel so good inside, darling” he pleads, desperation replacing what little shame he has left. “haa.. yes! fucking fill me up to the brim until i’m full of your seed!” you shout as your jaw slacks from the overstimulation and from how he keeps hitting your sweet spot again and again. his cock twitches inside you upon hearing your words. he mewls when you bring him in for another kiss. amidst it however, he breaks off when the last few thrusts send him to his climax. he thrashes his head, and his eyes roll to the back of his head when he reaches that place of pure ecstasy.

as the moans and love proclamations died down, the sex in the atmosphere surely stayed. you both catch your breath but your bodies still stuck to each other in an embrace. diluc gently sets you down, slowly pulling out. how amusing, he kisses your hand oh so softly as if he wasn’t just fucking your brains out a minute ago. “i’ve missed you so bad, my love.. rest now, i’ll take care of you,” he says. he makes sure to kiss you on the lips before getting up. the last thing you saw was a messy head of red hair before you passed out.

diluc was a man of his word. every promise he pledges to you is a vow he makes sure will be fulfilled. when you awoke the next morning, there he was. no more waking up to a cold bed or shifting around the sheets finding what was missing. the chilly atmosphere the past week is now replaced by his warmth. he’s here. he had his arms around you tightly as he sleeps so peacefully. you notice the slick running down your legs the night prior is long gone, and the nightgown you wore was replaced by one of his fresh dress shirts. you brush away the strands of hair that curtain his face. “mmm...” he mumbles, barely awake as he feels you lightly kiss his lips.

#genshin impact #diluc ragnivindr #diluc #genshin impact diluc #diluc x reader #diluc x reader smut #diluc smut #diluc ragnivindr x reader #diluc ragnivindr smut #genshin x reader smut #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #diluc angst #gi diluc #diluc imagines #diluc fluff #genshin diluc #diluc x you #diluc x y/n

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rainchyna · 2 years

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𓆩♡𓆪 episode eight: WONDERFUL BULLOCKS.

tumblr keeps trying to silence me and i soon will sue im sick and tired.

#anyways i just realized i messed up the header the writing 7 instead of 8 pls pretend it’s not there

hows everyone doing i know this chapter is a bit overdue but hey at least i managed to get something out am i right or what good god i hate it here.

y/n got haters yikes !! how uncool do you have to be to not like y/n like damn

gotta love owen and y/n’s stupid shit they’re so cute i love them

“can I at least get up? I want water” you say.

Hunter hasn’t left your side since you passed out after Raw. he even went as far as kicking Chyna out of your room so he can be close in case you needed anything.

“no. you stay here, I’ll get it for you” he says. damn, okay. well, since you were going to have a big, strong man refuse to leave your side he might as well play his role to the fullest. as soon as Hunter stepped back into the room with a glass of water you sunk under your blanket, forcing yourself to shiver as hard as you can.

“Y/n? are you okay?” he asked placing the cup on the nightstand, he sat next to you and rubbed your shoulder.

“better not be a fever or something. are you cold, angel?” he asks, and you nod. he gets up again, seemingly to turn up the heating but you grab his arm.

“come lay next to me” you tug on his arm, he smiles. Hunter slides under the covers with you, wrapping his arms around you pulling you close. he was always so warm.

you were tired, you couldn’t deny that, but you were falling asleep quicker than you thought. Hunter was quietly talking about something stupid he and Shawn did but your eyes were failing you.

Shawn and Hunter were growing closer day by day, they were close to being inseparable. you and Shawn were very slowly beginning to get along, he was still quite unbearable but he wasn’t as loud and obnoxious as he usually is.

sometimes you’d catch him staring at you intensely you’d think he’s zoned out, but he’d smile and look away. it felt like he was planning something or trying to follow along with something but you couldn’t put your finger onto it.

frankly, he sometimes straight up scared you because what the hell?

“what’s up with Shawn?” you mumble rubbing your eyes, Hunter looks down at you confused. as far as he’s concerned, Shawn is doing just fine. “what do you mean?” Hunter asks.

you tiredly shrug, “he’s been… off”. you didnt know how to explain it but Shawn hasn’t been acting like himself, you didn’t hate him for it, thank god he’s been calmer but damn it if it wasn’t freaking you out.

“like what?” Hunter asks, you shrug again. “you know… he kinda just sits there - and stares - he seems quite reserved” you say. Hunter hums.

he noticed it too, should he tell you?

“what’s that about?” you ask, well its not like he’s losing anything.

“y’know how him and Sunny have had a thing?”, you nod. “well.. Shawn is kinda really into this other girl, but Sunny isn’t uhm..” Hunter trails off.

you sit up, “isn’t…?”

Hunter sighs, “she isn’t taking that very well” he leans back. “Sunny sees her as the competition, since she’s the original diva and all that” Hunter explains.

you looks down at your hands, … is this about you?

you hum and lay against Hunter’s chest, “right” you mutter.

3:09 pm, central London.

London was always a fun time. you’ve come here several times in your time with New Japan and more on your own, it’s was always sweet.

you’re more excited about being with your friends in this time, well, four friends and the man child that tagged along. seriously, for fucks sake, can Shawn Michaels ever not whine?

“Chynaaaaaaa” he dragged, Chyna was sick and tired. the moment the plane landed she immediately caught a cold, she was tired of Shawn’s constant whining and him breathing on her neck.

“what the fuck is it this time?” she asks, irritated. Shawn huffs, “are we there yet?” he asks, Chyna turns to him and squeezes his face. “am I the one who’s fucking driving? ask Y/n. or are you scared of getting smacked again?” she taunts.

Shawn pulls away from her and huffs again, “as if” he boasts, “then why aren’t you talking to me?” you asks, your eyes meeting in the rear view mirror. Shawn is flustered and instantly looks away, “because!” he reasons.

you were driving because you knew London better than the rest of them. Shawn was sitting directly behind you, Hunter was in the passenger’s seat, and Chyna was squished between Shawn and a sleeping Lita.

it’s a quite for a while, apart from the occasional chatter between you, Hunter and Chyna, and Lita’s light snores.

“Y/nnnnnnnnn” Shawn whined, you raise an eyebrow. “so you aren’t scared of me?” you smile, “pfft, no I’m not. I’m hungry” Shawn said, you grab your bag that was sitting on Hunter’s lap and give it to Shawn.

“there’s chips and a juice box in there” you say, “and stop fucking whining before I pull the fuck over” you threaten, “yes ma’am!” Shawn said as he opened the bag. you slapped the wrestling ability out of his body the other day, but he’s giving out for a bag of chips?

an actual child.

“where’d you get this car anyway?” Hunter asks, “from Davey” you answer. “oh right, he’s bri’ish innit” Hunter says with the shittiest british accent ever, it’s almost scottish. “don’t ever in your fucking life-” you laugh, “a bo’o o wota!” he exclaims.

“it’s chewsdae innit bruv” he continued mocking Davey while Chyna and Shawn cracked up in the back and you held back the urge to join him.

“we’ll gaur to thee pub and get drunk til dawn, eh?”

“why is he talking like that?” Lita asked, rubbing her eyes. “he thinks he’s funny” Shawn deadpans, “I am funny!” Hunter counters.

see? fun. so, very fun. this is going to be a long day.

“guys, are we there yet?” Lita asks, Chyna groans. “oh, don’t start you”, Hunter laughs. “we’re here”.

well this isn’t bad.

you’re in your own room this time, this girls are on completely different floors. Chyna was on the second while Lita was on the sixteenth, you were on the eighth. Shawn was the only person on the same floor as you but he was still down the hallway, the only other people were the Hardy brothers but you barely knew them.

you’re not liking that fact that you have to get used to this, you and the girls always roomed together! you were going to be bored as fuck for the rest of the day, or until you three figure out a way to be together without anyone noticing.

apparently, sharing a room isn’t allowed anymore because some people with getting into petty fights and left rooms trashed, and Vince isn’t paying a dime out of pocket to fix anything.

to be honest, fair enough.

but hey, they didn’t say visits aren’t allowed. you’re laying down on your bed, you look down at your self, you were only wearing an oversized “Chyna Syndrome” shirt and no pants. “fuck.” you mutter.

do you need to wear pants? the shirt went down to your knees basically. “tsk” you get up and slide on your crocs.

on your way out you grab a bottle of water and lock the door behind you. at the end of the hall you can see Shawn leaving his room, more like sneaking out of his room. he waved at you with a half smile and you wave back with a confused look.

“where are you headin’?” he asks leaning against his door, “Lita’s” you say approaching him, Shawn shakes your hand for some reason …okay? “and you?” you ask, “I’m going to-”

then you hear a door loudly slam behind you.

“heyyyy y/n” her voice glees.

oh, for fucks sake man.

you both look behind you, “oh” you mumble looking at Shawn. “hey.. Sunny” you say looking at the ground, scratching your neck. “no, no, no! Hunter! I’m going to hang out with Hunter not her” Shawn quickly answers.

the second Sunny saw you with Shawn her stomach did a flip. Shawn was replacing her with you! he’s been slipping away from her since the moment you arrived and the only times he was with her were, as Shawn said, “to make Y/n jealous”.

you didn’t give two fucks, she knew you didn’t. she didn’t like you not one bit. first you come in and you’re treated like the federation’s priority, then you’re given the women’s title on your debut, everyone seems to really fucking like you and you’re stealing her man who’s not her man now?

too much.

Sunny narrowed her eyes at you, she couldn’t tell if you were leaving Shawn’s room or if you’re about to go in, but your clothes told her a lot. you’re only wearing a big shirt and Shawn wore a snapback and khaki shorts without a shirt.

well, well, well.

“how are you babe?” Sunny asks as she leans in for a hug, she squeezes you for a bit. she looks at you with a slight frown as she passive aggressively interrogates you about your day.

Shawn’s knees were on the verge of giving out from under him. the girl he wants nothing to do with and the girl he’d kill himself trying to get an ounce of attention from in the same place. what kind of hellish dream is this?

“I see you two are …close.” Sunny says eyeing you and Shawn, you and Shawn scramble to explain you don’t really like each other but are in the same friend group. “oh, so are you like hanging out or hanging out?” she asks.

“excuse me?” you make a face, “of course we are!” Shawn chirps, “we’re actually going to Lita’s room right now!”.

who the fuck is we?

“we?” you ask looking at him, “of course we baby!” Shawn smiles, “baby?” Sunny glares at Shawn. Shawn who wanted the floor to crack beneath him and swallow him whole. “yup!” he grabs your hand and pulls you towards the elevator.

“bye Sunnies! see you later! hopefully never!” Shawn mumbled the last part as he pushed you into the elevator.

what the hell was that interaction?

“what are you doing?!” you yank your hand away from Shawn. “this chick won’t leave me alone!” he reasons, you click the button to the sixteenth floor. “I don’t even like her!”. you shrug and shake your head, “that ain’t got nothing to do with me”

“oh, it does” Shawn chuckles. “what?” you ask, Shawn takes off his snapback and runs a hand through his hair before putting it back on. “don’t worry about it.”

“fine.”

it’s silent for a bit, then he speaks up again.

“do you really wanna know?”, of course he cracked. you roll your eyes, “no shit” you huff, “I’ll tell you if you’re nice to me” he crosses his arms over his chest. you look at him confused.

“I am nice to you! I offered to drive you here”

“you drove the whole group here”

“I gave you my food”

“you’re always giving someone something”

“… at least I’m not an asshole to you!”

“you slapped the hair colour off of me three days ago!”

you lean against the gold metal of the elevator, “well, let’s be real here, you deserved that” you point to him. “now tell me!”

“be nice to me first!” he demands, “I am! what more do you want from me?!” and Shawn smirks, aw hail.

“nah man” you wave him off, and he laughs. “nah, I’d rather die” you groan, “you want me so bad” he scoffs. there he goes again with that stupid phrase he uses to annoy you.

“how many times do I need to tell you that I don’t even like you? we’re only here because we have the same friend group.” you reason.

“oh c’mon baby” he steps closer to you, “everyone wants me” he flashes his pretty boy smile. you roll your eyes again, “not everyone” you scoff.

“oh really?” he steps even closer, you push him away and he leans against the opposite wall.

jeez, aren’t you there yet? you look up, tenth floor.

“you’re acting too confident for someone in your position” you say, Shawn chuckles. “too confident?” he asks, you nod as you step closer to him.

“I can do whatever I want to do with you, and you won’t say anything” you smile, you stand right in front of him. you place your hands on his bare chest, they’re a bit cold so they make him inhale sharply. “n-no you w-won’t”

“aww, the pretty boy is stuttering! what is it? cat got your tongue, baby?” you say the nickname back to him. “n-no!” he looks away, you grab his face and force him to look at you.

“you’re not the most subtle person, Michaels.” you begin and Shawn’s eyes widen a bit, “I know you want my attention, actually, you need my attention”.

Shawn gulps, no way.

“close your eyes” you whisper, you’re so close to each other you can almost see his breath hitching his throat. you lean in and Shawn begins panicking.

his hands and sweaty and his knees will buckle in any moment, you weren’t actually going to kiss him, right? right?!

he opens his eyes for a split second and quickly shuts them, and oh lord.

yes way.

he knows that you can hear his heart beating at this point, your lips and so close to each other, so close…

ding!

you giggle and pull away from him, Shawn opens his eyes, he’s breathless and shivering for some reason. you walk towards the door and look at him before leaving.

“you don’t need to tell me, I already know what it is”.

8:20 pm, dressing room.

you’ve changed your clothes into your gear and stood in front of the mirror of the dressing room as you laced up your boots. you were having a good time styling your hair and playing around with makeup, then you heard an agitating, loud noise.

“oh heyyyyy y/n”, you look up through the mirror and the blonde was standing behind you. you roll your eyes as you line your lips, “are you working tonight?” Sunny asked, “‘cause I am”, you look up again as one of your eyebrows are raised.

“really?” you ask, applying lip gloss. she sits on the chair besides yours and sprays enough hairspray to kill a bug infestation. “mhm, I’m working with Taker and Shawn”

your eyes immediately met hers through mirror again, now wait a fucking minute. “seriously?” you ask and she nods. you were confused, pissed off, but more confused. “what do you mean you’re working with them? it’s me, Bret and Owen against Taker, Shawn and Lita” you say.

Sunny smirks, “aw why do you care? are you jealous of me?”. you look at her again and huff before paying attention to your hair.

bingo.

if Sunny could cackle loudly she would, she was trying to get a reaction out of you and she got what she wanted.

“I’m not jealous” you begin and Sunny frowns, “I’m pissed than no one told me they were swapping out Lita for you” you say. Sunny narrows her eyes at you, “what do you mean me?” she asks. you lean back in your seat, “y’know, you can’t wrestle, never took a bump. kinda useless honestly” you explain.

she laughs out loud, “useless?” she asks, “useless?” she asks again. “be real y/n, the only reason you’re here is because Vince wants to beat WCW’s ratings”, it was your turn to laugh loudly.

you’ve actually had enough of this bitch. the amount of time you made yourself the bigger person when she’d try to pick fights with you, the amount of times she was rude to you for no reason, the amount of times you tried to befriend her only for her to put on her “bitchy blonde” act.

not today.

“be real Sunny” you repeat her words, “your only purpose in this company is to keep knobs clean.” and the smile on her face evaporated, “and you don’t seem to be doing a good job considering all the locker room has been on their knees for me” you say putting away the makeup.

“tsk, tsk, tsk” you snicker, “what a shame, at least other women get paid for what you’re doing”, Sunny felt stupid for even trying to begin with you.

“now be a good girl and go clean my championship for me.”

jesus wept.

Sunny stormed out of the room so quickly you almost missed it, and hilariously then. you got and idea.

the room’s door opened and you half expected Sunny to come in but it wasn’t her, it’s was someone else. “hey” he said through a tight lipped smile, “hey Rocky” you greet the man. “how are you?”

“oh I’m okay! just had a match with Hunter, light work y’know” he said sitting on a chair on the other side of the room. “yeah I saw the first five minutes of it, great suplexes by the way” you compliment. “thank you!” he smile.

“why are you sitting to so far away? c’mere” you pat on the chair next to you, The Rock hesitates a bit but he moves next you anyway, he didn’t want to seem like a creep but he’s always looked at you from afar. you’re really fucking pretty to him, and being this close to you… he couldn’t help but stare.

you both talk about your day and the matches on tonight’s card, you like him, he was probably one of the chillest people in the roster, right after Al Snow because no one tops him.

“we should work together after my thing with Taker” you suggest and he tenses up. “you want to work with me?” he asked, you chuckle. “yeah why not?” you ask back.

“I’m nowhere near as good as you are” he begins, “I mean, you’re New Japan’s ace, Antonio Enoki’s golden girl, probably the best women’s champion Vince has ever had” he said and the smile on your face was big. “aw, Rocky”

“no really, I would love to work with you but I need to work on myself first” he explained. “I’ll make you my right hand man, I’ll help you get over with the crowd.” you smile. “like a teacher?” he chuckles.

“exactly that! Y/n’s keys to success; step one: be kinda funny, step two: unclear, and step three: cash money Y/l/n. I don’t know but you’ll get there” you say.

“yes ma’am” he laughs, “now, your first mission as my apprentice, bring me Vince. I think there’s commercial break right now, and I have an idea”

<<9:19 pm>>

“are you-… are you serious?” you asked, you were in a random storage room with Owen. your voice came out more nasal as you had pinched your nostrils shut. “yup!” Owen smile, “and I’m so excited you don’t even know”

you look at each other then back at the buckets in front of you. disgusting. what’s disgusting?

pig shit.

you specifically asked for you and Owen to pull “one of your pranks” solely for shits and gigs, you were both rightfully excited but maybe the animal feces were a bit overkill. Vince was excited when you told him about your plan but this was… something.

“so we’ll have some staff set this up above the ring, and we’ll dump it when’s it’s time” Owen explained. “what if it misses and falls on us?” you ask, “we’re gonna be on the ramp, remember?” Owen says.

“…right”

you quickly left the room as you didn’t want the smell to linger on your clothes. you’re walking down the hallway when you bump into someone, “damn” you look at them, it’s Al Snow!

“oh, hey man” you say, “you good? you weren’t really looking in front of you” he looks at your head concerned. you shake your head, “I’m fine, but you’re built a mountain, jeez that was rough”

“why thank you, pretty” he laughs. “does my gear look alright?” you were concerned about whether or not the pig shit found its way to your clothes. “pfft, you look good” Al scoffs, “no, wait. I mean, your clothes look okay, no they look great” he corrects himself, you raise an eyebrow.

“I mean, you look good too! and your clothes- gear looks just okay! I mean great! wait-”

“I got the memo, Al” you laugh patting his shoulder before walking along. “talk! learn how to talk to her!” he whispered to himself.

10:23 pm, Raw <Live>

“Tag! Y/n is legal” Jim Ross bellows.

the crowd popped loudly, you were finally face to face with The Undertaker in the ring, weeks of storytelling and tension building up, but no one was dumb enough to believe you were putting an end to it here. they’re wrestling fans after all, they’re used to having their face spat on.

you quickly began running the ropes before hitting him with your signature frankinstiener and the crowd cheered again. the referee quickly separated you two and Taker tagged Sunny, there was audible groans throughout the crowd. relatable.

this mix of people made sense. you, Taker, Shawn, The Hart brothers and… of all people? …Sunny? both Lita and Luna Vachon are on Taker’s team, why is Sunny suddenly in the mix?

making quick work of her, you powerbomb her. you climb the ropes and pull Shawn over into a suplex. as Shawn lay on the mat holding his back you tag in Bret, he locks Shawn in a sharpshooter while you lock Sunny in one. if she taps your team wins, she’s the legal one after all.

Taker then interferes which causes Owen to run in and hit him with a clothesline, it quickly gets messy as the crowd cheers for the brawl that materializes.

after a bit of fighting back and forth, you and the Harts leave the ring, and Taker’s team are given a count out win. the crowd boos as the bell rings, you grab a microphone.

“you didn’t win this one, deadman. come find me when have someone I can actually wrestle on your team” you point to Sunny, and “ooo”s erupt from the crowd.

“but until then, enjoy your shitty win, fuckers”

suddenly, smelly brown liquid rained onto the three and the crowd went wild. Taker and Shawn were flabbergasted while Sunny stood there screaming bloody murder. the usually good looking diva was stuck covered in pig shit and wailing like a child.

what made you feel joy from within you was how Taker, Shawn and Sunny didn’t about the gift you and Owen brought with you, but Sunny’s reaction was the best.

just what she deserves.

before you could even reach behind the curtains, you could hear Vince laughing uproariously. of course, of course he thinks poop jokes are funny.

“what do you think of that?” Owen giggled, and Vince laughed some more. “wonderful!” he laughed, “wonderful bullocks!”