#''you have to be proactive and search for treatement'' I DID
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mental health facilities looooove to only have inpatient available when it would make things worse
#''you have to be proactive and search for treatement'' I DID#I SHOWED UP A MONTH AGO AND ASKED TO BE HOSPITALIZED#DONT TELL ME NOW ''ooh the only thing we can propose is hospitalization why are you here''#IT'S MY LAST RESORT OKAY#everything else is blocked off#i have no idea what i'm supposed to do#i absolutely do not trust any of your sections to handle eating disorders in a way that's adapted to my case#this system is fucking hostile to anybody who doesn't have the exact same priorities than the official ones#or who has slightly unusual problems#or who doesn't want to sacrifice all happiness to appear healthy#jesus fucking christ#i'm gonna do it. i'm gonna try to get an appointment for the fucking. psychological center or whatnot they gave me#im gonna try to get back in contact with the hospital nutritionist#but my question is fucking: what for#the plan is like: complete this program of painful things for this goal you don't want and then you're allowed back into human life#okay sorry i can't live without hurting literally everybody around me have you considered euthanasia instead perhaps#i'm not interested in achieving your goals#i just want to be okay and live an okay life just let me go back to school#post cancelled actually i just remembered again the problem is me#the problem is me the problem is me and as long as i live i will be me with me#broadcasting my misery#vent
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