#'convicted felon kuroba kaito' really got to me

[marshmallowgoop]

Minigifts: The thing so nice you gotta give twice

ELEMENTARY, MY DEAR WATSON (WAS WHERE HE BELONGED): THE LIFE AND LEGACY OF KUDOH SHINICHI This day in history marks what would have been the 25th birthday of Kudoh Shinichi, once Tokyo’s foremost high-school detective. Known for his inquisitive nature and “no such thing as winners or losers (especially when I’m losing)” philosophy, Mr. Kudoh’s greatest accomplishments include super wrong ideas about child endangerment and Kansai-ben appropriation. Mr. Kudoh’s intellect was evident at a young age, when he determined a cocaine addict predating CPR, lead-free paint, and the Geneva Conventions to be the paragon of brainpower and ethical behavior. Shortly after, he made his mark on the local community by scolding a kindergarten girl for crying, then personally ensuring the resignation of her favorite teacher. Such were the seeds of his oldest, most beloved relationship. Naturally, Mr. Kudoh expanded his talents and scope with age, and by his second year of high school had attained his nationally-renowned standing as a hero and savior among police administrators looking to cut budgets and overtime on people who actually investigate crimes for a living. In-between, he devoted his energies to several outstanding pastimes, such as proving that perfect pitch was no impediment to tone-deaf caterwauling, and puffing up a sport involving only half the body as an athletic ideal. Truly a Renaissance Man for our times. Bewilderingly, there are those who continue to insist that “Kudoh Shinichi” never existed as an individual, but rather as an elaborate masquerade maintained jointly by ballplayer Nagashima Shigeo, kendo-ka Okita Soshi, and/or convicted felon Kuroba Kaito. The rest of us, possessing a basic grasp of reality (especially concerning the likelihood the aforementioned three could maintain anything together for more than five minutes), will of course recall that Mr. Kudoh tragically passed last January, at the instant his beloved Sherlock Holmes was declared fiction's second-greatest detective by an international poll of some 70,000 professionals.

Nevertheless, we honor his memory every day we follow the World Cup, eat lemon pie, try to bring bowties back in style, or date martial artists way out of our league.

(Happy birthday, ya ahou.)