#'i believe im in need of medical attention' is actually the last in a scattered series of drabbles i wrote throughout the challenge

[hardygalwrites]

Originally posted to FFN on the 1st of May, 2017

Simply archiving a writing challenge I did back in 2016 up to 2017 and featuring my favourite writing pieces from each week of the challenge here on Tumblr :]

← Week 37 (SS) – Week 39 (SS) →

Cartoon: Transformers Prime / Robots in Disguise 2015

Characters: Smokescreen, Knock Out, and Bumblebee, with appearances from numerous other characters (even ones not featured in the cartoons)

Synopsis: An Autobot Elite Guard rookie, a Decepticon medic turned Autobot, and an Autobot scout turned warrior turned street cop - three very different bots with a wide range of stories to tell. And we are going to spend the next year exploring said stories through daily-written drabbles, be they angsty, humorous, gut-punching, or just plain odd! Who doesn’t love a challenge? (2016 to 2017)

—

Witness

The trainees pushed and shoved each other in an effort to see what was happening, exclaiming in shock and disbelief.

"What's going on?" Smokescreen managed to push himself to the front of the group, and he looked up. "Woah."

A bright star streaked through the sky. Even in their confusion, the group was strangely hushed as they all watched it rise higher and higher. Soon, the star was a barely visible speck in the dark sky. The ground gently shook beneath their pedes, drawing more confused exclamations from the trainees.

Smokescreen, strangely enough, found himself at a loss for words...

I Believe I'm in Need of Medical Attention

He was holding an energon stained knife. Pretty much all of the energon was his. He glared at the bot held against the wall, prepared to change that.

The door crashed open. He didn't really pay any attention. He just wanted to pay back every minute of agony he had-

"Smokescreen!" Ultra Magnus said firmly.

Smokescreen blinked. He stepped back, dropping the knife, and Moniker fell to the ground. Ultra Magnus and a team of bots stood out of the corner of his optic.

"...Hey, chief." Forcefully steady, Smokescreen checked his clock; three hours, forty-one minutes. "You're a... bit off schedule."

Level Up

"Yeah, the Elite Guard. That's... Wow."

Smokescreen's doorwings lowered. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy for me."

"I am!" Bluestreak exclaimed. "I mean, the Elite Guard! That's really impressive! But... you've already been part of the squad this long. I guess I was hoping that Prowler'd be the one to toughen you up. It certainly makes family reunions easier."

Smokescreen laughed, but it wasn't entirely sincere. "Yeah, I was kinda hopin' that too. But c'mon, Blue, this is the Elite Guard! The best of the best! With them, I'll finally get the training I need to actually do something in this war!"

Hailing from Nowhere

An otherworldly shriek sounded from the end of the hall. Smokescreen paused, doorwings dipping instinctively.

The arena master laughed. "Scared, Praxian?"

Smokescreen scoffed, doorwings stiffening. "In your dreams, pal." He resumed his weapons check. "And I'm not Praxian."

"Indeed. Then where is it you hail from, youngling?"

"Slag if I know. There wasn't much to hail from by the time I came 'round."

"Interesting. A no one hailing from nowhere."

"If that's how you wanna view it, old timer, fine." Smokescreen finished his weapons check and activated his cannons. "But this no one's gonna kick your aft when he gets outta here."

[duhliriouss]

A Pawn & A King:

Chapter One

AN: This is a long ongoing story that will contain many chapters around 3000 words each. This will contain lots of angst, abuse, smut, drama, conflict, oh and smut! Please let me know if you have any suggestions you would like to see in future chapters. Some constructive criticism is much appreciated as well since this is my first FanFic. If you haven’t already, please read the Prologue below before proceeding to chapter one. Enjoy!

Prologue

Warnings: swearing, therapy, angst, abuse, self harm, mental illness

Summary: Y/N had lived her whole life in Gotham being unappreciated and disgaurded. With no family and an abusive roommate to rely on, Y/N doesn’t have much of a choice to resign anywhere else in the city. Yet she keeps on giving naively until her decent into madness and her meeting of the Joker.

Word count: 3,033

Disclaimer: I do not own Joker - Todd Philips or any character associated in Joker

Chapter One:

Your day carried on like any normal Monday. Surprisingly, you always felt at ease while working at the bank. Away from your reality. Away from anything that resembled your worthless life and place you called home.

You didn’t sleep well last night.

Your last hours dragged as you struggled to hold normal everyday conversations, Yet you always held a smile. No matter how tired you were you tried hard at your jobs. You cared.

You always cared. Too much it always seems. No one ever saw you angry. Your anger only consisted of getting red hot in the checks and running away with tears flying down your face. You’ve always been an emotional person that it make you ache day in and day out.

You felt things intensely.

All this has made you quite the pushover over the years. Someone could slap you across your face and you’d thank them, and/or apologize for anything you might have done wrong.

You hated this about yourself. One of your major flaws was muttering apologies for every action you made. Your psychiatrist has helped you discover over the months it was how your, now deceased brother tormented you all your childhood. And of course not letting you forget the disappointment your father had for you all your childhood years.

You knew you shouldn’t be sorry for most of the things you apologized for. But you’ve lost control on how to handle yourself when the real moments came.

The clock hit 4:00 pm and it was finally time to finish the rest of your exhausting day.

You swallowed hard as your feet left the building.

You didn’t like walking through the allies and streets of Gotham. You were used to being alone and even though you’ve walked alone in these streets over and over day by day, you always clenched yourself tightly looking down at your feet as you walked a steady pace, only focusing on point A to B.

Walking by people fighting and screaming, creepy men whistling as you hurried by, ignoring the robberies and drug deals as you focused your attention on the ground was a daily thing in Gotham. Yet it never ceased or lowered your fear.

You made your way to the train station and took a seat. You finally looked up to take in your surroundings for the first time since you left the bank.

Graffiti scattered most of the walls, mixed with flyers and Thomas Wayne For Mayer posters. Your eyes darted carefully around you to find just a few other passengers. Not sensing anything intimidating you focused your attention back on the poster.

Moving Gotham Forward

you huffed a small laugh quietly under your breath. You didn’t give a shit about politics. But some things you couldn’t help but chuckle at.

The city has always been run by the rich. Spilling their euphonious sounding lies as the city eats it up year by year. And when you see Wayne on the news, You don’t see a difference. That was one thing you wouldn’t let yourself be a pawn over.

~

“How’s your job”

“It’s good.”

“Home?”

“Fine”

You kept your eyes down fidgeting and twisting your cigarette in between your fingers.

Every week your multiple breakdowns gave you mental notes to talk about in your therapy sessions. Yet when the time came... you just sat there. Struggling to say anything at all.

The quietness and the burning of her eyes on you quickened your heart rate.

“Have you been journaling like I asked”

“No Mam” Your voice was soft and apologetic.

“And why’s that?”

You finally lifted your gaze to meet hers

“I don’t have time, I never have any time”

“Ah”

You watched silently as she traced her pen over the stacks in her folder printed with your name. Silence filling the room again.

“How does it feel coming here every week, having someone to talk to. Does it help?”

You took your time trying to find the right answer. You didn’t know. You never really knew anything once you sat in that seat. Once you walked through those doors you WERE a closed door, fumbling over your words. Frustrating yourself when you couldn’t find them.

“I - I don’t know. I think it was better for everyone around me when I was locked up in the hospital”

Your sentence started off nervous but as your heart rate slowed to your words, you felt the familiar numbness hit your chest.

Unbeknownst to you, your physiatrist noted the strangely similar, yet still different personalities you and someone else shared.

“I’m here to help you, you shouldn’t let yourself feel a burden to the world around you”

You couldn’t help but let out a cold, almost sarcastic laugh. Taking a drag off your cigarette you shifted your body to sit up straighter. You replayed her words in your head and frowned shamefully, Furrying your brows together and keeping your gaze downward

“I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at the fact you’re trying to help me. I just -“

You didn’t struggle with your words this time. You simply didn’t know how to tell her you’ve been living with someone whom has beat you countless times, made you feel more of a burden than anyone else. Never mind everyone else in your life. You didn’t have a family because of your burdens. No one at your jobs appreciated you and now that you think about it, you don’t think you’ve ever met anyone who has actually appreciated you for you.

But what can you do? You were stuck. You didn’t have any other choices in Gotham to resign to. And being manipulated by Harvie for years now.. frankly, you were just too scared to make any decisions in your life.

You noticed you haven’t said anything in awhile.

You looked up again at the woman you knew didn’t truly care about the struggles you went through. Her eyes stayed down at your papers, flipping through the pages.

“You’re on 3 different medications, Y/N. Would you like me to up the dosa-“

“Yes, please”

You responded fast and eagerly. You’d do anything to not feel so bad anymore.

“Alright..” her words were flat and unamused.

“I’ve also been noticing your Bipolar Disorder has been more; manic recently. I’m going to prescribe you Lamotrigine. Just don’t take it in the afternoon with your anxiety med, and start taking your birth control in the morning instead. Taking all these together can make you become rather reckless.”

Your mind drifted off at “manic”. You stared past her left shoulder as she continued to speak into a complete zone out.

You were precisely dead inside.

“Can you remember that?”

Your eyes darted back to her. You gave her a warm fake-like, but believable smile and nodded your head

“Yes mam, thank you”

Her eyes studied you carefully then up at the clock that hanged over the door behind you.

“It seems our time is a little over schedule”

You both stood from your chairs rhythmically

“Let me know how you’re feeling next week”

“What?”

“You know, any side affects, nausea, change in mood”

“Oh yes.. right. Okay” you gave one last, sheepish smile before turning on your heels to the door. Keeping your head down preparing yourself to face the public again.

You opened the door quite fast and started to walk, fumbling to try and get your hands into your coat pockets to pull out another cigarette. Before you could take a third step you bumped right into something solid.

You bumped into someone. You clumsily tried to take a few steps back but a pair of strong hands kept you in place from falling, both hands on your elbows.

Your face shot up to look at the face of who you just humiliated yourself in front of.

But you were met with gorgeous, humbling green eyes.

“Oh.. hi Arthur” your cheeks instantly flushed still embarrassed and not sure how to react. As your eyes stayed locked, you took in his features being so uncomfortably close to him. His hair was slicked back and his lips curved into a slight smile, making the crows feet on the corner of his eyes accentuated

“Im so sorry, clearly I don’t pay attention to my surroundings as often as I should”

He let out a breathy laugh, letting go of your arms. You now kept your eyes to your feet.

“Where are you so eager to get to anyway?”

“I’m not sure. Just in my own little world I guess. I uh.. also have to stop at the corner store to pick up some food items for dinner tonight. Then I have to go to the laundry mat to put in a couple hours..”

You found yourself rambling. He didn’t need this much explanation. Stop talking!

You finally stopped and cleared your throat along with one deep breath. Not hearing anything you decided to slowly look up and meet his gaze. Arthur almost looked as nervous as you were. But he still held a somewhat amused smile.

“Y/N, are you alright? You seem more flustered than usual”

“Yes I’m fine.. just a busy a schedule today is all. Again, I’m sorry for running into you.”

He studied your face as you spoke. Noticing the dark bags that had accumulated under your beautiful (y/e/c) eyes. His eyes then wandered to your flushed cheeks before briefly landing on your plump red lips. You suddenly felt attacked under his gaze and tried it focus on anything else around the hallway.

Arthur noticed this.

Feeling awkward for clearly making you more uncomfortable he cleared his throat and went to stutter out a goodbye before entering the room you just left seconds before. But instead surprised himself with the boldness of what he said instead

“Would you like to get coffee tonight?”

“I - I can’t, I have to work and and cook dinner for Harvie and I tonight”

“Oh.. right” he laughed nervously “sorry that was stupid of me to ask..”

“It’s okay”

A silence filled the hallway

“Hey, can I uh” he slicked his hair back anxiously “can I at least give you my number? You could really use a real cup of coffee sometime this week. just call me on a night your not so busy, maybe?”

His sudden boldness caught you off guard.

You and Arthur didn’t know each other well. But you’ve been acquaintances for some time, and have run into each other quite often.

You first met when you had group therapy sessions together from time to time when you both were in Arkham State Hospital.

You also saw him once in awhile at the laundry mat when he picked up him and his mother’s clothes

And now coincidentally enough, you both saw the same physiatrist in the same day. He always was the appointment after yours. It has left huge opportunity’s for small talk. Which you both indulged in any chance you could get.

Most conversations you both shared with each other were rather awkward and short. But there was this strange feeling that made you not mind so much.

You could sit for hours in awkwardness with this man. He never intimidated you. And you felt more yourself in his presence.

But you still didn’t really know anything about him except that he lives and takes care of his mother and lives down the block from you.

“ s-sure..”

you looked up innocently at him. You didn’t think about your answer as it just poured out of you. You felt like you were under a spell Everytime he spoke to you. Especially now.

He gave you a ear to ear grin at your answer which was short stopped when you both noticed there was no pen or paper.

“I have a pen!” You unnecessarily shouted.

You dug through your black crossbody cotton-like purse and pulled out a pen with the banks name printed on the side.

“Here! I uh.. don’t have a piece of paper though...”

he chuckled at your ditziness and took two strides over to you until he was mere inches from you. Taking the pen from you

Your heart skipped. Adrenaline shooting up your spine deliciously.

You didn’t realize how much taller he was, your head only reaching to the mid of his chest.

Your nostrils filled with a sweet smell of cigarettes and a slight scent of .. some sort of mint?

You felt dizzy

“Can I see your hand?”

Without a word you lifted your left hand just enough for him to snatch it and it up bring it up to his chest. He began to write his number on the back of your hand.

You twitched to the sudden pressure he put against the skin with the ball of the pen.

neither of you spoke as he took his time to write. Your eyes instinctively fluttered shut, enjoying the gentle and subtle contact your body hasn’t felt for a very long time.

After finishing he gently let go of your hand. Bringing it back to yourself, you examined his work. Taking in the attempt he had made to try and hide his messy handwriting which failed beautifully.

You looked back up at him, your cheeks beaming red

“See you around, Arthur”

The air was heavy as you turned and walked away down the short hallway as fast as you could , overstimulated by everything that just happened. You needed to be alone outside again so you could breath and make sense of everything.

“See yuh” he let out softly, Barley enough for you to hear before shutting the main door behind you.

Once outside you turned and leaned your back against the old concrete wall, eyes shut and arms against your chest. You took a minute to breath. Once your heart rate slowed down you opened your eyes again and fumbled in your coat pockets again to light a cigarette. You took one long inhale then managed yourself to peel yourself off the wall and continue on with your day.

You were still very much flustered. You could not for the life of you stop thinking about what just transpired.

There was always a weird flirtatious vibe when you and Arthur had some time to converse,

but this was different.

You suddenly had a new feeling towards him that left bursts of butterfly’s go up your body.

You tried to shake it off as you got back on the train to go to your second job.

You were a little late. 10 minutes to be precise.

You walked through the doors of the laundry mat to find your boss, Nyle sitting at the register area looking not so amused

“You’re late, Y/N” he didn’t look up from his paperwork that was laid out on the desk

“I know I’m so sorry, I just..” You couldn’t lie. “I uh, my therapy app-“

“You think I need a fucking reason? You show up and do the fucking job. You only do three and a half god damn hours. If you can’t do something that fucking simple, you’re fired”

Tears sprung in your eyes at his words. You never got used to Nyle yelling at you. He was an old miserable man that was never happy no matter how well you preformed. Every little mistake was taken seriously.

“Y-you’re firing me?”

“Oh give me a break. You’re gonna cry now? You act like this the first time something like this has happened. You’re either late or you never do what I ask”

“I’ve only been late a small handful of times since I’ve worked here over a year ago! And I do what you ask of me all the time! It’s never good enough for you because your expectations don’t make any sense!”

Your breath caught in your throat and your body started to tremble. You shook as you felt heat rise all throughout yourself.

“Get out”

You turned and flung the doors open to leave, tears streaming down your face. You held on to yourself tightly as your turned into a dark ally and let yourself drop against the brick walls.

Audible cries left you and you didn’t care who was around to hear.

You took in your surroundings and didn’t see anybody. Piles of trash filled the ally and around yourself. You looked up but the cities buildings towered over blocking the sky.

You closed your eyes, your head raised against the brick. You muted your sobs so you could listen.

You heard a couple’s argument around the corner of the other side of the ally, sirens in the distance, more screaming that seemed even father away, and groups of laughing and clattering coming from a pub next to the ally side you just entered.

You started to silently laugh to yourself. Looking down at your cigarette, twisting and turning it between each finger. Your legs were half bent displayed out in front of you.

You stared at the amber of the cigarette while still listening to the cities commotion.

Without much thought you slowly turned the cigarette so the amber floated just centimeters from the back of your right hand. You slowly pressed it against your skin listening to the sizzle as it bubbled your delicate skin. You didn’t twitch or move to the sudden pain it Illuminated.

Instead you managed to display a small genuine smile.

The smell of burn skin hit your nostrils. You pushed harder until the cigarette was out completely, letting it fall from your hand.

Closing your eyes again you started singing softly to yourself.

( quick AN: Let’s stay together - Al Green)

Whatever you want to do

Is all right with me

Cause you make me feel so brand new

And I want to spend my life with you

You were talking about yourself

The familiar imaginary music beaming in your head. Your head stayed up against the cold brick, a sinful smile stretched ear to ear. Your arms laid stretched out to either side of your body Your voice cracking as you sung:

Oh baby

Let’s, let’s stay together

Lovin you whether, whether

Times are good or bad, or happy or sad

[bnymedic]

It’s been a long week. After getting little sleep yesterday, I welcome the lull in call volume that let’s me rest for a little while. Attempting to get comfortable in the front of a mercedes van is a futile effort. Tossing and turning in the seat like I’m having a bad dream. The silence of the radio wont last long.

“AMR dispatch ADI for a call”.

“Please frank zone…please frank zone” I mutter under my breath awaiting the call to be dispatched.

“In the Charlie zone medic hot, intersection of Street A and Street B, for the Male hyperventalating”.

Fuck. I am not in the mood to teach someone how to breathe tonight. We mosey on over to the call. “Please shut the fucking siren off. Its 1 in the morning” I say to my partner as he presses the air horn in an apparent attempt to clear parked cars from the roadway.

We arrive on scene alone. Aparently fire was not dispatched to this call. There is an obviously intoxicated male with a 40 in his hand, jumping around and screaming.

“Looks like he is breathing fine to me” I say to myself as I grab a pair of gloves from the passenger door.

“Help her! FUCKING HELP HERR!” He begins to yell. We approach and find a female patient sitting in the passenger seat of the vehicle he is standing near, unresponsive. I make a futile effort to ascertain what the hell is going on.

“Sir…what happened” “Shes faking. Wake her up. Help her. What the fuck are you guys doing just help her” he screams as cheap beer flys through the air, scattered around the scene like rain falling from the heavens.

I check a pulse and can not find one. The female is not breathing. I try and reposition her head as I ask again “what happened before we got here sir. Was she complaining…..”

“DONT FUCKING TOUCH HER. SHE IS FAKING. WAKE UP MOM” he screams as he grabs my shoulder to move me out of the way.

“ADI 228 needs police” I say quickly over the radio as I regain my ground, get the male put of the way, and begin to extricate our patient from the car. Due to her size, my partner and I each had to grab an arm and forcibly drag her out of the vehicle and lay her roadside in the cold, partially frozen dirt. You can see your breath on the cold, December evening. The air hurts your nose as you breathe deeply in.

“GET THE FUCK OFF OF HER. DONT FUCKING HURT HER. I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU BRO. I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU”.

There is a random bystander that is trying to keep the patients son back as I begin CPR. The son gets through with little effort, grabs my arm and tries to pull me off his mom before the bystander and my partner can get ahold of him again. “ADI 228 expedite police. We are working a code and have a family member attacking us”.

I dont have time to give any more information as I have to continue CPR. From this point it is a bit blurry. The son is screaming and trying to get through to me. I’m doing CPR myself, trying to maintain my awareness of the scene, while my partner and the bystander try to keep the son back. Im trying my best to pay attention to the radio traffic in the background as well.

“ADI 942 is going”

“ADI 952 is going”

“228 police are on the way”

The son got loose again and I got up and backed away before he could get his hands on me again. CPR saves lives and his mom is getting none of that right now. Hes too drunk to understand how serious the situation is. His mom isnt faking it.

“ADI 228 we have to leave” I say, walking backwards down the street to make sure he doesn’t start coming after me. He has no plan at this point. He doesnt even go to his mother’s side he just stands next to her screaming who knows what at us.

“228 did you say you are leaving the scene?”

I cant answer. I’m yelling at the son to get back away from the patient. At this point ADI doesnt need to know the details as long as police are on the way.

About 30 seconds go by that feel like 3 minutes. Sirens coming from all directions. Tires squealing in the background. Buffalo’s Finest arrive on scene in a cloud of smoke from the hot brakes. You can hear the metal crackling from the heat of the engine meeting the cold winter air. They see us standing in front of our ambulance and slowly walk up to us. It isnt uncommon for inexperienced crews to call for an expedited police response when it’s not actually needed so it’s safe to assume they thought it was bullshit.

“What’s going on here” the first officer asks with her hands tucked in her vest, portraying an obvious feeling of frustration due to the lacking sense of urgency.

“The female next to the car is dead and he started attacking us when we started CPR.” I think the officer was taken aback by this news.

“Get the fuck back!”

With the police now on location, my partner and I were able to resume CPR and connect the monitor. Pt was in PEA. I can hear her wheezing with every push of the chest. It was like one of those chicken toys that squeak when you squeeze them. I assume she had copd exacerbation prior to coding.

I hear behind me-  "Delta 540 radio send a second ambulance"

“What the fuck is that all about?” I think to myself but I’m pre-occupied with my task at hand.

A minute goes by.

“Where the fuck is the fire department?” I ask the officer next to me. I’m a fan of the Buffalo Police but I definitely dont expect them to be rolling in the dirt doing effective cpr.

Again, I hear behind me- “Delta 540 radio. ADI is here with a cardiac arrest. Can you find out where the fire department is"

The supervisors arrive shortly after allowing us to begin ALS treatment. He hands me the new, fancy video laryngoscope. The lens fogs up immediately upon entering the patients mouth due to the frosty cold temperature meeting the warm breath of our freshly coded patient. I have never missed a tube so I just toss it in there the old fashioned way.  I attach the BVM and it feels like trying to pump concrete into her lungs. She is very tight, seemingly confirming my suspicions of a respiratory cause of arrest.

We obtained ROSC after about 30 minutes of working and transported to the hospital. I have yet to hear anything about her outcome.

I learned after the call that the son was 22.09'ed to ecmc and had to be tied down and sedated. His mom and family were at BGH, while he was tied to a bed halfway across the city. In EMS we are often confronted with situations that leave us battling with our own morals and values. We are trained not to judge, and to treat everyone as equals. This is easier said than done, as the rollercoaster of emotions make it difficult to always see the whole picture. At first thought, I yearn for some sort of revenge or retribution. You want to put your hands on me? Learn to handle your alcohol. Have fun in jail buddy. As the rollercoaster slowly enters the station after the ride is completed, you reflect on the situation as a whole. This guy has had too much to drink. I believe he thought his mom was "being dramatic”, possibly after an argument. I’ve seen that play out plenty of times in the past. We have all had the “use the big needle” moment when your patient suddenly wakes up. Between the alcohol and the stress of the situation, he was unable to handle the switch from “mom is being dramatic” to “the paramedics doing cpr on mom”, roadside in the dirt.

“Did you press charges?” I was asked a handful of times. I think people were surprised by my answer. “For what?” He didn’t injure me. He didnt ever really even hit me, although I think it was only seconds before that were to happen. Is it punishment enough that he has to live with his actions and how his family will react to his behavior? Will they care? Will he even remember? How do you balance the need for safety with the needs of your patient. Years of training about how every second without CPR is less chance of survival. With the stress of an escalating situation, it is very difficult to juggle all of the variables and make a sound decision for your patient, that also gets you home alive at the end of the night.