#'theyre insane/the worst/a devil'<- these are all compliments

[clowndensation]

99% of the time if you have to ask the question "wait is this a compliment or an insult" about how someone talks about a character, that means they're complimenting them. people who are genuinely insulting a character aren't coy about it.

[soularchildgif8]

I’m powering up

Loser alert

Horny for this

Love it. Live for it.

This is incredibly my shit

Having the time of my life

I’m on board

Real ones will do this.

Here for it

I’m saying

I am shaking with fury & envy

You have what I want

This astral link...

Game recognize game

literally just vibing

finally some good news in this world

nothing good

the word pervert should be a celebrated term

are they making this specifically for me

Me? Listening to the Postal Service in 2019

Butt ugly

I’m in a state of awe.

I die.

I’ve been saying this.

This is the type of psychic torture that gave birth to the opioid crisis.

I retire

whoever gets the ball rolling honestly

Look at this to die instantly

Saving that for my memoirs.

I feel unchained.

Spirits are high.

Hello to my friends who are haunted and still awake.

stress overwhelms executive function

terrible day folks

still a horrific assault on the eyes

Pause

I’m laughing really hard

Fit check number 500000000. thank u

You’ll burn in Hell for this.

I trust your taste

The langoliers

I’m telling u snowboarding will cure my depression but no one wants to go w me

Misery misery

I’m comfortable resorting to violence.

So brave

I don’t talk during sex, I just let him beat me black and blue and I love it!

I still listen to that song “Riptide” to remind myself of the nervous breakdown I had in 2014

Ball too hard

insanely high level swag

Mood, as they say.

Kiss my dad on the lips

600mg ibuprofen lifestyle still in play

"What motivates you at your current job?" money and fear

Trader Joe’s seems like food people eat when they’re living in an underground bunker city

thank you for speaking truth to power

My most illogical fear is that I'll develope a severe peanut allergy halfway through a Snickers.

i love to fall over the side of a cruise ship into the endless pitch black ocean far below

Anyone I know who was only allowed to listen to Kidz Bop growing up is now a violent pervert.

That’s so interesting . This is about the horse who has sex with women right. I’ll be sure to check it out on the LCD screen I’m going to have installed in my coffin

The communist gene

If I ever take my own life it’ll be over post nasal drip.

Having a fun day with my work wife and remembering why I love her.

i have a condition it’s called porn star pussy

Thinking about becoming insane

it's so disgusting, but hey, I gotta be me

I like when we have fun online

Spilling that tea and refusing to clean it up

What part of “I RESPECT AND CELEBRATE SHOPLIFTERS” do u not understand

I'm bipolar sun, retard rising, and autisitic moon

If I was a fish that anglerfish light would work on me

2 be respected and feared for sure

it clouds my third eye

Feeling my eyesight deteriorating in real time but let me make this clear I will never put my phone down

as Confucius once said, before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. one for the person you are going to kill and another one for their friends and family

a superhero who can see vibes

see the devil every time I take melatonin.

we have to stop pretending ivy league people are smart

I went to the pharmacy and picked up all of my little pills and potions for the upcoming holidays.

worst behavior winter

The highest compliment

High praise

Gemini mindset

quick fit check

here i am. come on guys heap on the praise

Stunna

Too hot pls delete

No one talk to me or my cold winter prairie ever again

I have made rice on a George Foreman grill before

Tea!

Doing the work

What do we think of this

Come over here and pop that pussy for me

it just resonates

just vibing

faulty metaphors do be abounding to me

Self awareness and an apology, very nice

sometimes people speak languages i don't understand. this is peak comedy

i know i don’t have to be so public about my politics, can’t say i respect people that are private about theirs either... but i will say right now that there is no fucking way i will ever vote for pete buttigieg. this is my promise to the american people

Mamba mentality

I’ll never, ever be able to unsee this

trying to explain to bf that actually it’s wrong and sinful that he had girlfriends before me but he doesn’t get it smh

theyre soooo retarded it’s crazy

[winstonhcomedy]

“Dope A-F”- 1/24-1/25 - “Booed Off Stage and Reg Charity”

Sweet lord almighty. Thursday/Friday were some slobbrerknockers of shows. I’ve got three bad boys to cover so let’s hop right to it laydees.

Earlier in the week I got asked by Travis Carl if I could fill in for him at The Richmond Funny Bone hosting for the “Fresh Drunk Stoned Tour”. I of course agreed. Luckily the open mic this night was The Camel hosted by Jameson Babbowski. This was an early mic so I got to get two sets in.

I head over to The Camel right after work. I am the first comic there. The Camel always has a chill fun vibe to it. When Jameson gets there I look at the lineup and I know like half of the comics. The influx of new comedians continues. It is getting kind of insane. I feel like more and more experienced comics are either moving away/giving it up/taking a step back from standup. Which is a shame. I love the new comics, but I do miss the feeling of going to an open mic and it being filled with all the dudes I started with.

New comics are always good for a scene. As people trickle out you need more comics to trickle in. They bring audience members, and a sense of enthusiasm that is kind of gone from people who have been doing standup a while. The downside is when your scene becomes all new comics booking showcases becomes difficult. You want to give people opportunities, but at the same time a showcase full of newbies is just an open mic.

There is a family with a small child at the show. They tell Jameson they are ok with the swearing and are going to leave aft4er a quick bite. I get to see a few of my friends like Alex Castagne and Mike Engle. So that was a nice little hang.

Jameson goes up and does a quick hosting set before bringing me up. I go up and talk to the kid a little bit and get a few laughs. The crowd is interesting. Paying attention, but not really loving the comedy yet. My set goes pretty well. I need to write some new stuff because I am getting to the point where the new stuff I am working on is starting to become fully formed. The jokes go ok. Some hit pretty hard and some get nothing. All in all I was able to riff a couple new tings, and work on wording. I’d give this set a C-. I grab my stuff and run to my car to head to Short Pump to get to the Funny Bone.

It has been a while since I have been on a show here. I walk in and say hi to the staff. Every time I come by they have some new wait staff, but a lot of the people who’ve been there for years are still around. People like Cory, Derek, Buz, Brittany, and of course Jason the gm. I get to talk to everybody for a bit and shoot the shit before the comics from the “Fresh, Drunk, and Stoned” tour show up.

They were coming from VB so they had a comic down there drive them up and they gave them a guest spot. Drew Grizzly is the comedian who drove them. I have only seen him perform a couple times at clash so I don’t know much about his standup. I know the couple times at clash I wasn’t super impressed, but also that was forever ago and I think he was a super new comic at that time.

All three of the headliners were super cool. They were Tim Hanlon (LA), Matt Bellak (Chi) and Franco Harris (Chi). Very chill dudes and fun to hang with. all real professionals as well. Franco came in and had the complete run down written up ready to hand over to the sound guy Buz. I was going to be doing 10 up top, Drew was going to do 7, then each of them would do 20 each to close out the show.

They also did a great job of packing the show on a Thursday night. They didn’t sell out but they came damn close. I think there was close to about 220 people in there. Which is definitely a treat for a Thursday.

I go up first and have a super strong hosting set. I tried some material I’ve never done there before and it went over great. My “problems with China” bit hit super hard, and my “Angel/Devil” closer really got them. I’d give this set a B+. I really had them in a good place to get this show going and I bring up Drew.

I walk to the green room while he starts his set. I don’t really pay attention to it. He’s not getting a huge laugh or anything, but I don't think anything of it. I am talking in the back with the guys, and after like 2 minutes we start to hear a noise coming from the green room. I can’t really tell what the noise it, but is most assuredly not laughter.

I start to listen closer and realize it is boos. Drew is bombing so hard he is getting booed. Tim and I go out to check it out and we are just in awe. This crowd that was super into the show had now completely turned on him. Apparently he had started his set and said he had weird pubes. A woman responded, “you got a problem.” Instead of rolling with it he doubled down and started to be aggressive with the lady. He had not built up the goodwill in his set to warrant this type of response. So the crowd started to turn. He also mentioned that he doesn’t date black women (he is a black guy) which honestly is where he really lost the crowd (primarily black audience).

I have never seen this kind of shit before. It is surreal. People are losing their minds yelling at him, booing him, screaming to get him off the stage. People are standing up out of their seats. Like it had the vibe that someone was going to come up on stage and get him. Jason came out of his office wondering what was going on. It was too much for security to silence everyone. He was getting the light from the back, and he wouldn’t get off stage.

I don’t know how much time he did but it felt like a millennium in that atmosphere. It might be the worst set I've ever seen in my life. I was inching closer and closer to the stage trying to give him a hint. Also I was worried I was going to have to go on stage and take the microphone from him. The worst part is I have to go up after this. I tell Tim I am going to try my best to get the crowd back and do something before he gets on stage.

Drew finally gets off, and I go back up amidst a sea of boos. They’re still yelling and I give them a second to see if they’ll die down enough to try to get a word in. I finally grab the mic and say, “I think this is the first time in history where a room full of black people are like, ‘Thank God the white guys back’”, and it absolutely murders. People stand back up and are screaming and hollering. People are giving me high fives, and I'm really selling it leaning over with the mic stand talking to people and getting them pumped up. I bring Tim Hanlon on stage and the show is back on track. This is now one of my favorite comedy memories.

I go back to the green room and Drew is talking about it, and Franco and Matt are giving him good advice. Bombing happens, everybody does it, this is not a reflection of an entire comedians career or act. I do know that I have never in my life seen a worse set, and at least Drew knows it can’t get worse. He was in good spirits, and we all ended up having a dope rest of our night. I get a lot of compliments and I get to watch Tim, Matt, and Franco have super hot sets to end this amazing night. I also get a weekend of work from Jason in March. I love filling in dates on my calendar.

After the show I stick around, take some pictures, and meet some people. I say my goodbyes to everybody and then head to my car. I drive home enjoying the end of this awesome night.

1/25

The next day after work I took a nice nap, and then headed down to perform on Tidewater Tonight in Virginia Beach at Pinboys. This is a talkshow co-created and hosted by Roberto Lundgren Rodrigues. This isn’t a standup show. I had to create a character to be interviewed. I low-key love stuff like this, but I don’t get the opportunity to do it often.

I came up with the character several months ago when I was first asked, but I kept having to reschedule. I finally got an open Friday and was ready to unveil Reg Charity.  Basically the character idea I had was I'd be a disgraced, southern, ex PBA bowler who was banned from the sport due to my rampant alcoholism. So after my PBA career I started inventing. All my inventions are supposed to do the opposite of what they normally do (sunglasses that brighten the room, chips that help you lose weight, whiskey that sobers you up, and a toaster that turns toast into bread). It slowly becomes apparent during the interview that none of them work, and I get drunker and drunker on my “non-alcoholic” whiskey. 

I get to the venue early and am just hanging out with the people who run the show. Ryan Dix, Roberto, Laura Batty, and a few others. My buddy Nick Deez showed up also.

So after they set up for the show we wait for it to start. There is a tiny audience of maybe 5 or 6 who aren’t involved in the show. That’s ok though because everybody is super into the show. I am so excited to see how the video turns out because I am super excited about it. I improvised the entire thing. I feel like I went in and out of my accent, but I honestly don’t care. It was super fun, and I got people laughing. I had an absurd outfit on, and some great lines. I’d give it a solid B. If I get to go back I know I’ll do even better.

They do some ads, and a singing commercial. Then Donna Lewis goes up and is doing the character of an ex child star. She is having a hot one, and everyone is having a blast. The show ends and it was definitely a success.

They make several attempts to lift the couch up with me in it. We get some funny pictures of me falling out of it, and them failing to lift me. We keep chatting for about an hour, and just talk shop, and shit. It was a super dope show, and I can’t wait to do it again.

All in all this was a helluva two days of shows. A real hoot and a half. I just want to give everybody who reads this blog a million kisses. XOXO I love you and I’ll be back to recap the weekend tomorrow sweeties! GOODBYE LAYDEES!!!!