#( answered ) — they think i've got potential / i think they've got the wrong girl

[sugcrxspice]

[ STEPPING BACK ]: Benny & Ava

[  STEPPING  BACK  ]:      while they’re both attending a particularly lively and crowded party, both muses, craving a moment of peace and fresh air, accidentally go to the same balcony. unwilling to leave, they sit together, and begin to talk as the party spins on behind their backs.

Maybe it was the ungodly amount of alcohol she'd already consumed (or the weed she'd smoked with Cyrek earlier), but despite the hairdresser's usual love for parties, Ava desperately needed some time away from it all. Usually, she felt right at home surrounded by strangers, ready to charm them and collect some new friends along the way with minimal effort. But to say she was in a foul mood that evening was an understatement. So when she spotted Benny out on the secluded balcony, she couldn't help herself. She'd never been good at holding her tongue in the first place, but especially tonight, she had to say something. "You know... I thought you seemed a little happier than usual recently," Ava mused, stepping up beside him and resting her hands on the railing, eyes trained on the city skyline ahead. "Now I know why. But, for the life of me, Benny... I can't figure out why you'd end things like that with Mei. I mean, she's sweet. She's thoughtful. Why would you do that to her?" Her defensive tone for her friend might have been slightly influenced by her own bruised feelings being recently rejected, but after getting to know Mei over the last few months, she stood by them. "You deserve good things too, you know. You can't be afraid to let yourself be happy," she added, her tone softer. Despite her annoyance with him over the whole situation, Benny was still her friend.

[aintgonnatakethis]

You've got me wondering about Telford on this beautiful morning. Can I request an infodump on this sumbitch? Bonus points for info that came from your headcanon.

Oh, Jamie, you don't know what you've done... Put beneath a cut because Telford's life story got kinda long 😂 Also will use this as an opportunity to answer the "OC" facts tag from @the-golden-comet (x) Let's take a look at my favourite little fucker: Colonel David Telford!

He was adopted by a high-middle class white couple who wanted the pats on the back they'd get for giving a child of colour a "second chance", but then were severely disappointed when that brown baby grew up to be a brown man... So he grew up *surrounded* by white people, suffering everything from micro-aggressions to full on racism. Below is an excerpt from i am a prisoner just like you, bits of my Vamp AU series I wanted to tell from Telford's POV. This particular bit is a flashback to when he was 18.

Young let out a surprised laugh, slapping Telford good-naturedly on the back. “Fair’s fair.” He had a nice smile, Telford thought, wide and honest. He looked away quickly; there couldn't be any of that shit here. He'd decided that long ago - indulge during high school while continuing to maintain a good upstanding image because that was just what kids did, but he wasn't a kid anymore. The consequences for getting caught here - or even someone getting a whiff of the wrong idea about him - were far more serious than the potential of getting bagged driving out into the desert with another boy. Telford had planned out every excuse and story that could possibly be required. We were just going out here to smoke, sir. No, not marijuana, I can't afford to put that stuff into my body. I'm starting line. I've got a future.

We were planning to bring our girls but they bailed on us. If we had to go home early our parents would know we got ditched. So we came out here to shoot the shit. No, sir, no alcohol. You can check the vehicle. Yes, sir, it's registered to me. It was present for making starting line. I've got a future. We're doing a science project on the state of the plants out here, how they've adapted to the radiation in the soil. No, sir, absolutely no digging. Here, look, this is our collection kit. We have gloves and baggies and permission from our science teacher. His name's Mr. Monroe. No, sir, I'm not really interested in science, but if I want to get into a good college I need the grades. I'm starting line. I've got a future. I've got a future. In your world. Calling you sir. I've got a future. Performing for your amusement. I've got a future. I'm not like those other brown kids, sir. I'm one of the good ones. I'm starting line. I've got a future.

This is the shit I want to see fandom tackle more though I for sure realise how delicately it has to be handled. He's had a really rough time of it and the military doesn't exactly foster a welcoming non-racist environment so I think we should talk about those experiences more. (Fuck that "I know what makes me special" line.)

I couldn't leave Telford completely alone during his childhood so I gave him an Uncle who's a good guy and cares about Telford and wants what's best for him. He was military himself and a recipient of a Purple Heart. He helped Telford's application to join the Air Force Academy straight out of high school. For them to take someone who hasn't already got a college degree you need to tick all the boxes, and Telford is nothing if not stubborn and committed.

He'll do anything to achieve the goals he's set for himself, things others will find downright distasteful and judge him negatively for, but he's a very ends-justify-the-means type of character. If he completes his objective then it doesn't matter what he had to do or who he had to hurt or what he had to give up; it was worth it. He gets constantly frustrated by the people around him being unwilling or unable to go to the same lengths and one of the main reasons he's remained Young's friend for over two decades through all of the bullshit Young pulls is that when the chips are down, Young is also capable of doing terrible things in order to succeed.

They meet in the Air Force Academy (this specific bit isn't mine - one of Telford or Young's actors mentioned it in passing in an interview) and were assigned as 'battle buddies' during Basic which is a real life thing where you don't let the other person out of your sight - drills, meals, bathroom breaks, everything - as a training exercise to teach new recruits to always be aware of where their allies are, in preparation for firefights where everything's moving at 100mph.

Young figures Telford doesn't get along with his parents so invites him home with him for the holidays and Young's family - who are very normal and well-adjusted (no sarcasm) - pretty much adopts him, giving him the first safe place away from the military he's known since his Uncle. I wrote a short story about the first time Telford goes there called Discretion, which turned out a lot gayer than I originally intended but Telford is super gay so I guess it worked out. 🤷‍♂️ (Side note: I like writing characters with different sexualities as a writing exercise - getting them to the point where no matter how different they are they're all still in character. I've written Telford as gay - accepting of himself and in denial - straight, bi, asexual, and aromantic.)

Two snippets from my Vamp AU, both from Young's POV on the topic of Telford's parents.

down here they call us animals - Chapter 10: 1x15 Lost

The man's gaze went flat and cold so quickly it was like having the ground ripped from beneath Young's feet. He'd seen that look on his friend's face before, at his Uncle's funeral when he'd been forced by social decorum to approach his parents. Young had stuck resolutely to the man's side, unsure of what was going on but knowing he didn't like the ugly twist on Telford's parent's faces. Maybe they'd known their son liked men, it suddenly occurred to him. It took the wind out of his sails, the fact that he was threatening to out his best friend crashing down on him. Someone had done that to Camile, he remembered. There was no excuse for it.

your eyes, black like an animal - Chapter 6: 2x06 Trial And Error

Young nodded, thinking of the disgusted edge in David's parent's eyes when he'd met them at his friend's Uncle's funeral, how the father had tried to direct Young away from David's side with his eyes. They'd wanted to be alone with their son, but even Young could tell there was something not quite right with these people, so he had played dumb and bet that they wouldn't go so far as to verbalise their wish. He'd been right and he and David hadn't gone to the wake, preferring to stake out a bar with his Uncle's war buddies. A proper and right celebration he would have been proud of, one of the old men had said, raising his glass, clearly suggesting whatever the parents were getting up to right about now was the opposite. If David had wanted to talk about it he would have raised the subject and Young knew better than to press. Some things were best left buried.

I don't know whether they know he's gay or just don't like him for the previously discussed racial reasons, but a line I've got in my notes is his father saying the military was the best place he could have ended up, and he does not mean it positively.

Due in no small part to his childhood Telford has a hard time bonding with people. Young got in there at just the right time (Telford was 18 and Young was 22) plus they were basically forced to spend time together at the start. Young helped him with the team building exercises and Telford helped Young with the maths they both needed to learn in order to be pilots. (Something I think both the show and fandom overlook is that to be a pilot in the Air Force you need a lot of mathematical knowledge.) Telford's minor at the Academy was languages; it's his belief that every soldier should speak the language of wherever they're stationed, purely for the practical purpose of people will say just about anything around you if they think you can't understand them. He can speak, read, and understand English, Spanish, German, Russian, Arabic, Goa'uld, and Ancient.

He's gay and aromantic and spent a lot of his time at the SGC getting in the good graces of the geeks who work there as he knows they're the future of the programme. He's popular with them because a lot of the military don't respect the geeks no matter what and Telford treats them with respect unless they do something stupid. As there are scientists rotating in and out from Area 51 all the time the labs are also a good place to find people to have sex with, who he's very clear with about not wanting a relationship. I don't think he'd risk pursuing men sadly, though he would be publicly sleeping with women anyway so no one gets any funny ideas about him. And he enjoys the sexual release well enough so it's not a 100% depressing scenario.

When he imagines being in a relationship he feels ill. The expectation of marriage, two kids and a dog with a white picket fence? Nah, no American Dream™ for him, thank you very much. He likes having his own private space to come home to, and Young is the only person he'll allow within his bubble. Sometimes Young's friends are permitted by proxy, but for the most part he's an extremely private person.

He certainly hasn't escaped the toxic masculinity trap either. Whenever I have him having sex with Rush there's always an aspect of Telford believing he now in some form owns the man. That ties into him viewing both himself and everyone else as primarily commodities, a position both he and Rush are used to and therefore are very comfortable occupying. His body is a tool and he recognises the same viewpoint in Rush, which is why he's drawn to him so strongly. He certainly still respects him - there's a point in the series where something bad happens and people are trying to tell him no one could have predicted it and he's instantly like: "You saying Rush didn't see it coming?" I don't think viewing someone as a person and viewing them as a commodity are mutually exclusive.

[daisiesonafield-blog]

daisie did you see the lyrics or you’re basing everything on what you’ve heard from anons?? and also, do you 100% believe it and think it’s legit?

Hi dear,

I have not seen the lyrics. The anon paraphrased a couple of things they could remember. They also didn't see the lyrics. They just listened to the album twice. So whatever they paraphrased was what they could remember.

But it's ultimately ONE PERSON'S INTERPRETATION after just 2 listens. That leaves a LOT of room for things to be missed or misinterpreted.

Also, after sleeping on it and thinking about everything the anon told me, I can see how even the stunt song could potentially have additional layered meanings. Of course I would have to listen to it myself and hear the actual lyrics. But just the fact that the concept of cinema is used gives you room to see expanded meanings. It sounds like he's personifying the concept of cinema...which in itself can be read in various ways. There's the explicit one being about their sex life...but the layered one...being about how things in cinema are pretend, for the camera. This could be wrong because I haven't heard it. But I know Harry, and the way he writes is never straightforward. He's always poetic, layered and he uses a lot of synonyms and poetic language. Like, Justin Bieber said "you got that yummy yum", while Harry wrote "I want you more than a melody". There's no comparison.

And to answer your last question, I believe they have heard it. They sounded very genuine. If they’re lying they’re damn good at it. But just because they've heard it, it doesn't mean that their interpretation is the only one, or the gospel of this album. It is their interpretation.

I'm SO excited to listen for myself, because I know I will hear his music differently. Think about the song She: many people thought it was about Harry dreaming about a dream girl he couldn't or didn't have. His ideal girlfriend. But imo a much more accurate interpretation of She is that the song is H talking about his own gender identity. And struggling with feeling "she" inside, and always having "her" with him. And how that makes him feel like he's pretending, and how he's trying to know who "she" is.

Overall I have SO much faith in Harry and his music. We're focusing too much on 1 measly stunt lyric and letting it overshadow AN ENTIRE ALBUM. It's not like that. I trust Harry as a person and artist, and I know he'd be able to deliver the utmost quality songs, despite a few stunt lyrics.

I have loved all of his songs since 2017, Watermelon Sugar is one of my favorites. I know I will love Harry's House just as much, despite the dumb narrative. And if I'm honest, based on what I've heard, I'll love even Cinema. It sounds like the type of song I love, and if I removed the narrative from it, then it's just a banger of a song with sexy undertones. And that sounds great.

Related to this and this and this and this and this

[johnsamericano]

𝔖𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 ℜ𝔲𝔰𝔥 𝔧.𝔧.𝔥

Hi everyone! As promised, here’s one of the two most voted fic continuations. There will be more chapters to this story though I'm not sure how many yet. Thank you for reading!

warnings: sugar daddy jae, mentions of injuries and hospitals, language.

taglist: @thoreeo @trustmahluv

Sugar rush m.list.

The machine monitoring your father’s heartbeat was the only sound filling the quiet hospital room, where your once healthy father laid unconscious, his perfect, chiseled cheeks adorned with cuts and bruises. Would they leave a mark?

The machine monitoring your father’s heartbeat was the only sound filling the quiet hospital room, where your once healthy father laid unconscious, his perfect, chiseled cheeks adorned with cuts and bruises. Would they leave a mark?

The machine monitoring your father’s heartbeat was the only sound filling the quiet hospital room, where your once healthy father laid unconscious, his perfect, chiseled cheeks adorned with cuts and bruises. Would they leave a mark?

The machine monitoring your father’s heartbeat was the only sound filling the hospital room, where your once healthy father laid unconscious, his perfect, chiseled cheeks adorned with cuts and bruises. Would they leave a mark?

The machine monitoring your father’s heartbeat was the only sound filling the hospital room, where your once healthy father laid unconscious, his perfect, chiseled cheeks adorned with cuts and bruises. Would they leave a mark?

Where did everything go wrong?

Your string of thoughts was cut off by a call from your aunt.

Your string of thoughts was cut off by a call from your aunt.

“Hello?” Your voice was raspy from not using it. There was no one to talk to in the quiet, hospital room but the nurses, who weren't especially keen on chatting.

“How’s your dad, sweetie?”

“They let him out of ICU, but he doesn't look good to me.” Your fingers traced the cuts in his chiseled cheeks that would soon turn into scars, ruining his perfect skin. Your eyes then diverted to his head, thoroughly covered in bandages to protect his damaged skull.

“Honey, I've got bad news...”

“They rejected the case, didn't they?”

“Not precisely.” She deeply inhaled before continuing. “It’s a tough case, almost impossible to win, nonetheless, they're willing to take it. But their fee is a little...”

“Expensive.”

“Yes.”

As expected from the best firm in town, they wouldn't take less than $8,000. Your bank account didn't have enough money to even cover half of it, and with your job at the convenience store, you'd only earn so much to cover your expenses.

“We can take the lawyer that the government provides us with, it would be free.”

“But then I'm sure we’d lose.” You groaned in frustration, using your free hand to rub your forehead. “Don’t worry, I'll find a way to get the money.”

“Why don't we just accept the compensation they're offering? It could pay for the hospital bills and you'd still have some left to pay for your tuition.”

“That would be like putting a price on my father's life. I don't want their money, I want them to make themselves responsible for what they've caused.” The sound of wheels approached the door of your father's room, signaling the nurse was outside with his meds. “It’s okay, Auntie, I'll take care of everything. You can go back home, I know my uncle isn't doing so well.”

“Are you sure, darling?” It was undeniable that she wanted to head back to her little ranch fat away from the hectic city life to take care of her sick husband, but still, her brother was laying down on a hospital bed, fighting for his life.

“Yes, I'm an adult, I'll find a way.”

“Take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to call me if you're having any difficulties. I'll be there in the blink of an eye.” She said before sending a kiss into the speaker, proceeding to hang up.

You sighed. It was never usual for you to ask for help, as you were an extremely prideful and independent person, and you doubted this time would be different.

“Don’t worry, dad. Everything will be alright.”

Three failed job interviews and one more to go. Your feet were killing you, the high heels covering them already worn out from walking to avoid taking the bus. Every penny counted, and as long as your legs worked, you weren't spending any more money than what was necessary.

You sat down in the waiting room of the company, massaging your neck to relieve some tension. College was becoming a burden. Maybe you'd take a semester off to focus on working, that is if someone wanted to hire an inexperienced student.

“Y/n, Y/l/n?”

“Here.” You darted up, gathering your belongings to enter the room on which your life almost literally depended.

You gave all the right answers, earning a polite ‘we’ll contact you’ in return. But you could see that they weren't convinced with your lack of experience, no company in their right mind would be.

As soon as you arrived at your apartment, you slid out of the uncomfortable pencil skirt, tucking yourself under the covers with your phone screen almost hitting your nose.

To take your mind off things, you decided to watch some videos. Halfway in, an ad popped up, interrupting the interior deco video you were watching.

A picture of a girl about your age hugging an older man was right in the middle of your screen. Written with fancy letters, the words ‘make your life simpler’ could be read, followed by what you guessed was the title of the app. Sugar rush.

Out of pure curiosity, your finger tapped at the small icon that led to the app store, absentmindedly clicking the download button. A few seconds later, an icon with the letters ‘SR’ was added to your home screen.

“Log in?” You murmured out loud, squinting your eyes to adjust your eyes to the bright, white homepage.

Just as you were about to click out, the phrase from the ad reappeared, stopping your finger from moving any further.

You could always delete your account if something went wrong, right? Nonetheless, you decided to use a false name, and that's how Melanie Kim’s profile was created. You left the circle of your profile picture empty for now, only filling the spaces that asked about your likes, dislikes, age, and all that stuff that people care about so much.

You knew what the app was for, but that didn't stop you from being surprised when a list of men and women of different ages greeted you. Right then, a small rectangle obstructed your sight, two buttons offering opposite things.

‘Pick the role you'd like to develop.’

Sugar daddy/mommy / Sugar baby.

Clearly, you didn’t have nor the money or the years to be the first, so you clicked the opposite button without giving it more thought.

‘Welcome. You've been registered as a sugar baby at Sugar rush. Meet thousands of men and women willing to finance you for free!’

You hummed.

‘As we're always looking to make our users’ experience better, we've developed Sugar Rush premium, a membership to meet the richest and hottest people in your surroundings. Get the premium version for only $5.95 a month. Click here to get Sugar Rush premium.’

Your finger pad was dangerously close to the blue button, almost grazing the screen of the phone. It was then when you were pulled out of your trance, blinking as if just then you'd realized what you were doing.

“I must be crazy.” You turned off your phone, not bothering to turn on an alarm for the next day. You had no interviews left. You had nowhere to go.

Waking up was getting harder with every passing day. Not being able to call your dad to go out for breakfast or even sending a simple good morning message hurt you deeply. You missed him. But seeing him laying down on a hospital bed, unable to do anything by himself, was even worse.

Ding

A notification filled the silence in your room.

‘Come back, you haven't finished setting up your account yet!’

You scoffed at your past self. What were you even thinking when you downloaded the app?

You simply turned off the phone before standing up to take a relaxing shower. As the water soaked up your tense body, your mind started wandering off back to the app. A million what-ifs filled your head, nonetheless, there was one that remained the most persistent.

‘What if this can pay for a lawyer?’

Your part-time job surely couldn't, and you had no one to assist you financially speaking. The whole idea of paying that ridiculous membership seemed more tempting as your fingers started getting wrinkly under the showerhead.

You decided to take some time to consider it, after all, you still had a week to give the lawyers an answer.

Hot soup seemed like a good option to comfort you, and thankfully, there was a store right in front of your place that claimed to sell the best soups in town.

It wasn't bad, but not nearly as good as the one your dad cooked when you were a kid. You sighed, wondering if you'd ever be able to eat it again. Just then, a woman about your age came into the shop, carrying a couple of bags where names of popular brands could be read. A pinch of jealousy made your heart stir as you glanced at yourself through the reflection in the glass at your side. You looked devastated, your skin pale and your cheekbones slightly sunken, a sign of the lack of rest and food you'd been getting.

Out of pure impulse, you pulled out your phone, clicked on the app you'd recently downloaded, and finally accepted the charges for a premium membership.

‘Welcome, new member of our wide community, click ok to get started!’

Well, no turning back now.

Right after pressing the blue letters with your thumb, you were presented with a list of potential prospects, some of them including pictures, some of them only including name and a brief description of what they were looking for. The minority included their ages, but most left the space blank.

A bunch of old men looking for a youthful, pretty woman to be by their sides, some of them even went as far as writing the weight and height their ideal partner should have. Of course, there were also some women in the look for young meat, but the number of men overpassed them.

About to exit the app in defeat, a profile caught your eye. His pale pink hair was parted, allowing his thick eyebrows to stand out. His high cheekbones made him look like a statue, the details in his face almost too perfect for a mere human. He must be the incarnation of a Greek God, you thought.

‘Jung Yoonoh. 41 years old. Owner of N & C.’

“Should I...?” You asked yourself in a voice lower than a whisper.

He has probably gotten hundreds of messages, so what would be the point of sending one yourself? Your eyes scanned the picture over and over again as the remains of your soup started getting cold.

He was probably the only acceptable man in the whole app, so why not give it a try?

You already spent five whole dollars on it, might as well make it worth the money.

‘Hi.’ Sent.

“Holy crap.” You breathed out, regretting every single action that led you to take such a stupid decision. “Ah!” You squeaked as three small dots appeared beside his profile picture, signaling he was writing a reply.

What if he rejected you right from the beginning? God, that would be so humiliating. His message stopped your train of thought.

‘Hi!’

Followed by:

‘How are you?’

Sweating like a pig, thank you for asking.

‘Fine. You?’ Read.

‘Thrilled. No one had messaged me since I created my account two weeks ago.’

‘How is that possible?’ You imprinted your thoughts on a message.

‘It’s hard to trust people nowadays. I guess people might think either my picture is photoshopped or I'm lying about my job.’

‘Their loss, ig.’ Read.

He was taking some time to answer. Had you said something inappropriate?

‘Hahaha.’

The conversation stopped there, as you didn't know how exactly to answer his message. But a few minutes later, another text from him popped up at your chat.

‘If you're okay with it, we can start talking about a possible arrangement.’

Already? You've known each other for like five minutes. But then again, arrangements were the whole purpose of the app.

‘Sure.’

‘May I ask your reasons for joining the app?’

‘I need urgent money, but my job doesn't pay nearly enough.’ You omitted the part of your agonizing father, he didn't need to know that. ‘And you?’

‘I need someone to be my partner at public spaces.’

‘Alright.’ Read.

‘Do you happen to have some free time tomorrow at lunchtime? I think it’d be better to meet first before making any decisions.’

‘Yeah, I'm free.’

‘Great, I’ll send you the address.’

You thought a day would be enough to prepare yourself, but time passed by quicker than usual, and soon enough, it was time to get ready for your meeting with Mr. Jung. He was only a few years younger than your father, and calling him by his first name wouldn't feel right.

Unsure if you should wear something formal, you threw on a beige (the color you'd agreed on wearing so it’d be easier to recognize each other) summer dress, pairing it with the gold hoops you'd inherited from your grandma to make it look more elegant.

The hardest part of your routine was makeup. Your sunken cheeks couldn't be covered, and only after a few layers of blush and highlighter, you could bring your skin back to life.

On your way to the cafe, you went through the things you'd say when you met him. It was your chance to get your father what he needed.

You stood at the entrance with wide, scared eyes, shyly scanning through the place to look for your date.

“Melanie?” A hand on your shoulder had you jolting. “I’m Jung Yoonoh, nice to meet you.”

What you saw after turning around was breathtaking. A handsome, healthy man, with the most beautiful pair of dimples.

“Nice to meet you.” You managed to blurt out without stuttering, extending your hand to make the greeting more formal. The fake name didn’t seem necessary anymore. “It’s actually y/n, I didn't want to use my real name.”

“I understand. Let’s take a seat.” He offered with a kind smile.

He left you seating at the terrace while he made your order, a latte, and a chocolate cookie. Your fingers played with your hoops anxiously, trying to regulate your breath.

“They’ll bring our food in just a sec.” He offered a warm smile. “Your dress is pretty.” Yoonoh said out of nowhere.

“Thank you.”

“I see you're not a chatty person.” You were about to object, but he started speaking again. “It's not a bad thing! I usually talk a lot, so it’s a nice way to balance things.”

You nodded, seemingly uncomfortable with the man sitting in front of you.

“So, uhm, this is my first time doing this, so I'm not really sure where to begin.” He pulled out a folded paper from the front pocket of his dressing pants. “It’s a bit creased, but I can always print another one. I brought it so you could take a look and let me know if you wanted to change anything. I don't mean to pressure you, but you said it was urgent, so...”

You read the paper under his attentive gaze, making sure not to miss a single word. Everything seemed correct, except...

“Six months?”

“Is that too much?” A small wrinkle formed between his eyebrows, a sign of deep concentration. “Okay, so let's do this instead.”

He took back the contract, pulling out a pen from the pocket in his dressing shirt to correct the original stipulations.

“Four months, and if by the end of them you don't absolutely hate me, we can extend the time. Deal?”

“Just one more thing.”

You cleared your throat, conscious that your following words might jeopardize the whole arrangement.

“Are you sure you want to make it official already?” You had to stop for a moment as the waiter left your orders on top of the wooden table. “I mean, it's not that I have a problem with it, but it's your money and maybe you'd like to give it a better thought.” You resumed.

“The fact that you're concerned about me proves I'm making the right choice. Now, tell me, how much would you like to receive as a weekly allowance?”

Would it be too reckless to ask him straight up for the $8,000?

“H-how much are you willing to give me?” You felt dirty, accepting a stranger’s money like that.

“Whatever you need.” His hand suddenly reached forward to yours, causing every ounce of blood in your body to rush to your face. “There’s no need to be embarrassed, I'm here to help you.” His voice tone dropped, acquiring an almost soothing feeling.

“I need eight thousand by Thursday, next week.” His eyes were wide open, mouth having difficulties remaining closed. “I-I know it's too much, but...”

“I can find a way to give you that money, but I'd like to know the reason why you need it. Just to make sure it's nothing illegal.”

You puffed your cheeks, trying to find an excuse good enough to justify the amount of money you were asking for.

“It isn’t illegal, is it?”

“No!” You retrieved your hand from below his, now embarrassed at the possibility of him having a bad image of you. “I need it for my father.”

“I suppose you don't want to talk about it.” He started at his palm, lips pressed in a thin life. “But when it comes to arrangements like this, we need to trust each other, alright?” You barely knew each other, yet, he demanded to know a very personal detail of your life. Not that he didn't have a good reason for wanting to know, it wasn't a particularly small amount of money.

“He had an accident at work...” You started, fearful of looking up to find pity in his eyes. “I need a lawyer to make his company legally responsible. They intend to throw it under the rug and pay a somewhat decent amount of money to make it go away. The firm I intend to hire is supposedly the best in town, probably my only chance of getting justice.”

“And why don't you just accept it? There's no guarantee that your lawyer will win the case.” You fisted the delicate fabric of your dress, eyes watering as you tried to hold back your anger.

“My father’s life is priceless, and if you think what I'm doing is a waste of money, then fine, we can both look for someone else to help us.” It sounded more aggressive than you'd first intended, but you meant every word that came out of your mouth.

Before you could even stand up, his slim fingers had already wrapped themselves around your wrist.

“I never said that.” He whispered with an almost sad tone. “Come on, sit down.”

He tugged at your arm the slightest, showing off his charming dimples once again.

“I’ll give you the money on one condition...” He raised one of his thick eyebrows. “I’ll go with you to see the lawyer.”

“Why...?”

“That’s my condition, take it or leave it.”

“Okay.”

The days before your meeting with your potential lawyer were nerve-wracking. You'd seen Yoonoh another time to sign the contract, which finally made your arrangement official.

You’d visit your father every day, always hoping he'd be sitting with his arms wide open, ready to hug you. But nothing had changed ever since he first came into that room.

“I’m here to see Mr. Kim.” The secretary's gaze lingered on Jaehyun a few seconds before he finally snapped out of it. “Y/n Y/l/n.”

“Just a second.” He opened his agenda and quickly found your appointment. With a warm smile, he guided you through the corridors of the building, all the way to the elevator. “It’s the only office on the last floor, I'll be at my desk if you need anything.”

Once again, he shot Jae an uneasy glance before the metal doors slid close.

“What was all that?” To be honest, you couldn't care less. But a small chat might calm your nerves and prevent you from throwing up all over the place.

“What do you mean?” He grinned, pressing the button to the top floor.

“You know what I mean.” You scoffed, annoyed at his evasive behavior.

“We just happen to know each other, nothing special.” Before the conversation could continue, a loud ding resonated through the metal cubicle. “Let’s go.” His hand found its place at the small of your back, pushing you towards the glass door. Through it, you could see a black-haired man reading a pile of documents, occasionally raising a photo to examine it with his gold-rimmed glasses supported at the bridge of his elegant nose.

Jaehyun extended his arm over your shoulder to knock on the door, earning an almost annoyed ‘come in’ from the man inside.

“Let’s go.” Once again invading your personal space, he reached for the doorknob with you trapped between his arms.

As soon as the door opened, the man raised his eyes from the documents he was checking.

“What are you doing here, Jung?”

“I knew something was off...” You murmured, loud enough for the man at your side to chuckle.

“I brought you a client, you should be happy.”

“Miss y/n, I suppose. Have a seat.” His demeanor completely changed while speaking directly to you. “I spoke with your aunt last week, she explained the details of the lawsuit, but I must say, it isn't an easy case.”

“I know that, but I've been told you're the best firm in town, I know I'll have more possibilities of winning if you're my lawyer.”

“Best firm in town my ass.”

“Be silent or I’ll kick you out of the building.”

That was enough for Yoonoh to zip his mouth. For a while at least.

“I suppose she also told you about our fee.” He pushed his glasses up using his thumb. “We’d also keep 25% of the lawsuit money assuming we win the case, is that okay with you?”

“Yes-”

“Okay, stop.”

“I’ll call security, Jung.”

“Look at me, y/n.” He squeezed your arms. “This clown is trying to scam you...” He pointed his finger at the lawyer without breaking eye contact. “You’d be spending loads of money for someone who isn't even confident in his abilities. It isn't worth it.”

“And I suppose you'd do better than me, then.” The black-haired man scoffed. “If that's the case, then you can both leave. I'm quite busy at the moment.” With a turn of his wrist, he signaled you to leave the room.

You were fuming, stomping out of the building with Jaehyun right behind you.

“I found a great restaurant nearby, we can go there and-”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Calm down-”

“Don’t tell me to calm down when you just fucked up my only chance to give those bastards what they deserve.” The sun was starting to set, yellow light casting shadows over his tender cheeks.

“Can you listen to me for a second?”

“Are you laughing right now?” You bit your lip, hard, trying to hold back the tsunami of tears threatening to come out of your eyes. “Asshole.”

“Ouch.” He furrowed his eyebrows mockingly. Oh, how close you were to punch that pretty face of his. “Can I explain now?”

You remained silent, staring at the ground with the smallest frown between your eyebrows.

“How do you think I know Kim Doyoung?” Before even giving you a chance to answer, he continued. “That son of a bitch has been stealing my clients for ages.”

“Your clients...?”

“He isn't even that good of a lawyer compared to me.” He scoffed with fake arrogance.

“You're a lawyer?!” You slammed your palms into your face, whining at the newly acquired information. “Why didn't you tell me from the beginning?”

“Just wanted to swing by and annoy him a bit. Don't worry, I wasn't gonna let you accept his deal.” He winked playfully.

The sun was now hidden, the sky darkening as the moon rose to take its shift.

“Though I gotta say, I'm kinda offended I wasn't even an option. I'm a pretty great lawyer, you know?”

“Sorry.”

“I’ll forgive you if you join me for dinner. What do you say?”

As you walked into the darkness of the streets, his shoulder occasionally bumping yours, you wondered if meeting him was a casualty. Maybe the world was finally smiling at you.

[hawkinslibrary]

Who are your death predictions for stranger things volume 2? If you had to pick 3

ok... before i answer this, this isn't anything @ you for being genuinely curious or anything, but i posted a little while back about how i don't really get the whole obsessing over main character deaths thing and saying that any of them Has to die by the end of the show. i don't like thinking about that and i don't personally feel like any of them have to die -- especially after everything they've been through and what we the audience has been through with them at this point

so, hopper, joyce, steve, robin, nancy, jonathan, el, mike, max, lucas, will, dustin, i'm not going to speculate on any one of them dying ever bc i really really don't want it or to even think about it happening lol

that said, (almost) literally anyone else is fair game, so

(potential spoilers under the cut !!! please do not read any further if you'd rather go in without any info or if this sort of speculation may upset you. please remember that i am someone who has kept up with all kinds of potential spoiler things over the course of filming and i might know more info than what we've gotten just from bts + trailers and officially released stuff. i won't bring any of it up but it will most definitely influence my opinion)

so... you said 3, and i've definitely got 3 potential deaths in mind

unfortunately, bc he's become such a popular and well-liked character and bc i myself have grown attached to him, i do think eddie is going to die. i think he's meant to be the gut-punch death that i've seen some people suggesting there has to be this season for some reason. he's Not a main character but he fits in so well with our group, he might as well be considered one. and how sad would it be if they spent so much of the season trying to help him and max only for him to die in the end?

i think it's gonna happen when he's in the upside down with dustin and that the guitar thing is his big moment before death. i would love to be wrong about this, but i believe dustin is screaming for him in the vol 2 trailer and it's not looking good. there's also the nightmare on elm street parallels

honestly, i've gone back and forth on whether they're actually going to do it. i think the duffers actually hate killing off characters just as much as i would hate having them die, and they've definitely seen how popular of a character he's become. i almost convinced myself at one point that they could do another fake death situation and have him stuck in the upside down in need of rescue for s5 but... most people would probably hate that kdsnfkj. but seriously, it'd be almost like going full circle, back to the beginning. there's almost certainly too much else going on in s5 for that to be what happens, though

there's gonna be a ton of deaths in the el/silo lab/military/cali crew storyline. most of them have been shown to us in the trailers and teasers, though. like you know the people in those vehicles and helicopters aren't surviving lol. idk if sullivan is in any of them bc i could see him continuing to be an adversary in s5, esp if he isn't in any of them and so much of his team is wiped out literally by the girl he's chasing

but, the significant death i'm expecting to happen in this storyline is owens. it was fucked up of him to just throw el into all of this without a proper warning -- he didn't tell her about the hair, he didn't tell her what the nina project really was, he didn't tell her about brenner. sure he's desperate and he's obviously only been reluctantly working with brenner on this the whole way but i think that's really all about to come to a head in the next ep

i think he's going to maybe want to help el leave, but brenner tells her she isn't ready. and then the military infiltrates the base and he tries helping her in some way, and then he dies. i'm pretty sure about this one, but that might just be the influence of his character description in the stupid puzzle game talking lmao

i'm 50/50 on brenner, so i'm not counting him as one of the three. i feel like there are characters he needs to interact with again in order for his story to be truly over. hopper, namely, and since i don't see them meeting up this season... maybe henry/vecna, too, since he holds significant responsibility in what happened there. plus, they just seem to really love matthew bts and i don't know if they'd get rid of him that quickly after just getting him back. i could be totally wrong, though, bc it kinda seems like el/the cali crew are the only ones making it out of the desert.

now, in russia, i think we could be losing either murray or dmitri. maybe both. i think murray's been having too many wins, too many big moments. and dmitri got the speech about how they'd die as traitors or monster hunters, and how his son would view him after. plus there's the line about joyce 'saving (hopper) bc of friendship' which like... everyone on this show does that, yes, actually. just all feels like it's leading to something

but yeah, eddie, owens, murray/dmitri. mayyyyyybe brenner. none of the Actual main characters. i'm not saying all of the main main characters are in the clear, though, as i'm sure they'll all be pretty messed up in some way going into s5

[sisterssafespace]

Assalmualaikum wa rahmatullahi wabarakatuhu. I pray you are in the best of health and iman. My parents are forcing me to marry a cousin back home against my will and although I suggested someone I'd like to marry from here, they refused to accept it as he isn't a family member and it breaks their cultural traditions. I've said no so many times but they won't stop and they've told me it will happen whether I like it or not. I'm feeling so down, depressed and even suicidal at times and there's just no escape. I've told them everything Islam states about forced marriage but they seem to think as parents they know best and I shouldn't disobey them. They say I should trust their decision as they wouldn't give me away to someone who wasn't good for me. I have so many valid reasons as to why I don't want to go through with it but I have no voice and I'm not heard. They have been persisting and I have just given up because I can't go a day longer with this weight on my shoulders, it's slowly bend destroying me. I told them to do what they want with me because I know I've been fighting a losing battle. Now that I've said it, I'm terribly afraid. I don't know how to be married to someone when my heart was always somewhere else. Will I get sin for this even though I never really had a choice? I'm so broken and I don't know how I'm gonna go through with it when it's everything I don't believe in. They said if I ever left and got married to someone of my own choice, I would never have their blessing and I have no wali who is on my side so they've made it impossible for me. I've done so much dua, I even prayed isthikara yet my feelings never changed. I'm at such a loss and I would genuinely rather die than go through with it but they're still making my life hell. I used to have a good relationship with everyone and now due to this, all those relationships have broken and it kills me. They're my parents, I don't love them any less but it hurts so much that they've treated me this way. I've recently been diagnosed with depression because of all this and if I told them they'd just laugh because they don't take it seriously. I know they will never change. Sorry for the long ask, may Allah reward you for all the good you're doing.

Wa alaykum assalamu wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu dear sister 🤍

La hawla wa la quwata illa billah ! I am so sorry that this is happening to you! * Sigh * my poor sister this must be tearing you apart ! Ya Allah ! The amount of suffering that the patriarchy and the culture put Muslim girls through is outrageous! AstaghfiruAllah alaadhim wa atubu ilayhi!

As you stated, forced marriages without the girl's consent are against the laws and the essence of Islam, so we are not going to get into that, it is established. I will cut short to the possible solutions I could think of:

1) Is there a relative/ uncle/ family friend/ neighbor who is open-minded and god-fearing enough that you can talk to and ask for help? Let him or her talk to your parents and make them understand that this is wrong?

2) If your father goes to the local Masjid, try to find the Imam and tell him about this catastrophe, and in shaa Allah the Imam will know what to do (whether to speak to your father directly and privately or to speak about the issue in general in a lecture, I am sure he would have seen this a lot of times and he would have in shaa Allah effective solutions)

3) worst case scenario: get in touch with the guy, the potential husband back home and be honest with him, tell him that you have no intention or desire of marrying him and that they are forcing you to do so and that this is unfair. Okay, if you can't do that, get a friend or a cousin or a sister do that? I am sure you have people in common, someone could e-mail him or text him on WhatsApp. I don't think that any decent god-fearing man would still marry a girl after knowing she is rejecting him and she is being forced.

And I know you have said that you have been praying and making duāa, my poor sister, I really feel for you and I am so sorry that you are getting super desperate that your duaas are not being answered. But you have to believe in Allah's timing. He swt is the most merciful! He can't see you in such pain and leave you like that, eventually Allah's mercy and relief will come! Maybe He swt is trying to teach your parents a lesson, maybe this test is not over yet, maybe it hasn't served its purpose yet! I want you to hold on a little tighter, I want you to be just a bit more patient. I know it hurts my dear, I promise I know, I understand your pain! And I am so sorry :( but Allah swt says " do not despair of the mercy of Allah " and we have to trust His sacred words.

I don't know how long your pain will last, I am so sorry for not having good answers, I wish I knew how this would end, but one thing I am sure of is that Allah swt would never allow or approve of oppression upon a faithful slave. So please make Him your refuge and your shelter. I know you said you prayed Istikhara but please try to pray Tahajjud, it works miracles! Wake up in the late third of the night and cry it out to al-samiī, try to trust Him harder, try to have Him on your side, because the ones who have Allah swt on their side, can never lose or go astray.

My heart and full support goes out to you my dear, I will - and I urge every sister who sees this to make duāa for you, may Allah swt save you from this situation and shield you from injustice, and heartbreak. Allah swt is capable of solving this impossible matter in unimaginable ways, I promise. Have faith in Allah. Kheir in shaa Allah my dear.

- A. Z. 🍃

[dreamerandcrazy]

Ok, so I haven't been able to comment much on my Riverdale rewatch mostly bc i'm watching it with my boyfriend and we have an agreement of no cell phones when we're watching, otherwise we can't pay proper attention to it. But I wrote down some notes about the episodes I did watch (I watched up until ep 6, which is very ironic bc apparently today is its anniversary, so yay for my perfect timing). I actually remember most of the stuff that happened in s1, so here's mostly a few things I paid more attention to or noticed about the characters and the ships, or things i'm able to look at through a different view now that i've watched all the seasons. Strap in if you want to see my notes, if not just scroll please, no ship or character hate here please. Also, feel free to ignore, this is really just a personal look in some stuff I didn't notice in my first watch.

- Betty's character used to be much happier and lighter in season 1. I know we're introduced to "Dark Betty" right in episode 3, but still, I feel like the way Lili played Betty in season 1 did not hold the same "darkness" as it does in the following seasons. The scene where she is dancing happily in her bedroom because she's going to homecoming with the boy she likes? The scene where she introduces Jughead to the Blue & Gold and gets him to work with her? Her genuine innocent happiness at seeing her sister again after so much time? The way she interacted with Kevin and Veronica? Those were all chef's kiss because she actually feels like a teenager in them. In all her girly glory, she radiates youth energy and it's a thing that was sadly lacking after s1. Btw this is not a critique at Lili's acting at all, I blame it entirely on Ras and his obsession with dark Betty.

- There's actually so many indications of Cheryl being a lgbt character in the first episodes that I have no idea how I missed it the first time. But then again, there were many indications with Veronica as well, and sadly that's not the path Ras chose for her.

- Jughead in s1 is truly so superior in so many ways that it's not hard to see why he quickly became such a fan favorite. I think even if he wasn't played by Cole Sprouse, he still would have conquered many fans' hearts. Sadly, the things that made Jughead such a loving and interesting character for me also fizzled out in s2 when the writing team decided to make him a woke serpent leader instead of allowing him to sticking to his true personality as a passionate mystery lover, a dedicated friend and very nerdy, which was very cute. I feel that we got some of that back for him in s4, which was good, but sadly s1 is where my love for him really stayed to stay. But I still care for him, and s5 has a promising storyline for him which i'm excited about, so let's see if s5 Jughead can become better than s1 Jughead.

- Going back again to Cheryl for a sec, I just noticed that the red lipstick actually wasn't that common for her in s1? At least not in the first five. I wonder when did it start becoming her trademark? Anyways, it's actually a really good look her and allows you to appreciate Madelaine's natural beauty even more.

- Also, did anybody notice how Alice lowkey figured out who killed Jason in ep 2 lmao, like... in episode two she legit says she wouldn't be surprised if the Blossoms themselves had killed Jason, which... is what happened LMAO, considering we know it was his father. And even more hilarious and tragically ironic note, in ep 6 she's laughing at Betty suggesting that Hal killed Jason because "do you think your father has the stomach for it?!"... Ma'am... i'm-.... 😂😂😂😂.

- This rewatch has reminded me of how much I adored and how I much I miss Josie and the Pussycats. The girls were such a nice addition to the cast, and their songs were so beautiful. I truly wish we get to see them again someday, but at the same time I also think the actresses deserve to be at a work place where they're given the treatment they deserve and not completely ignored and treated like extras.

- Archie/Valerie was super cute and is very underrated in the fandom, but i'm glad Valerie stood up for herself and didn't take any of Archie's or Cheryl's sh*t. Still sucks because they were really good together, though.

- Why was Jason not allowed to talk, lmao? Like, i'm sure it's become a running joke in the show at this point, but back when season one was airing what was the excuse for it? He appeared in so many flashbacks and scenes and we still never heard a single word ☠️☠️☠️☠️. I just want to know what was the reason lol.

- I liked s1 Reggie, but I feel like Charles Melton's Reggie is better because he actually feels like a douche with good intentions lol, and he has more of a personality. Most of the time I even forgot about Reggie in s1, but after s2 he definitely made me more aware of him. So for that, I like Charles Melton's Reggie more. But the actor from s1 still did a good job with what he was given.

From now on I will be talking about the ships, so bear with me, and know that I am a multishipper. Yes, I have my preferences. No, my word is not law, it's just an opinion, so please respect it.

- Bughead is still super cute in s1. I feel like from s1 they will always be my otp, even if I no longer feel as strongly about them now and have a different insight as to where I would like their story to go, and now I definitely see the problem others had mentioned before of how they kind of took over the show, which is something I kind of closed my eyes to before... But I really loved them in s1. It felt like a very juvenile teenage relationship, they didn't give much thought on why and if they should be together, they just went for it like teenagers usually do, and they were very very cute together.

- I feel like if you don't count Beronica (because they really were the best no matter what you say or ship), if there's a ship that deserves "best chemistry" award for s1 is probably Varchie. I lost my interest in them years ago, but this rewatch reminded me of why I actually loved them once. They never really became an otp for me, but Kj and Camila's chemistry in s1 was VERY GOOD, and I really liked them. Their kiss in the pilot was electric and the s&xual tension was OOF, and that chemistry carries on through the season. You can easily tell something will happen between them eventually. It makes me sad bc I don't know what happened after s1, but their chemistry from s2 onwards was just... not there for me. Which is ironic bc it's the season they truly started dating and they got a lot of smexy scenes, but I just... didn't feel it. But I'll leave that comment to my s2 rewatch. For now just let me enjoy Varchie's chemistry in s1 while it lasts because it was really good.

- Now we get to Barchie, who I made clear was the reason for my rewatch, so let's get to it. I LOVED the way Barchie was written in s1. I remember when I first watched Riverdale, I was curious about their dynamic but didn't put much thought into it because I loved Bughead too much and wanted them to be together, and I thought Barchie would be the traditional "first og ship" thing and wouldn't have a big follow up, but boy was I WRONG and am I GLAD for it. I'll talk more about their development in the next seasons when I get there, so for now let's focus a bit on s1. Just in like the first two episodes, there is so much Barchie foreshadowing, like, it's legit insane how it was right there in my face and I missed it the first time! "I have never felt what i'm supposed to feel with betty", "it's not my fault he doesn't like you", "I can't give you the answer you want"... Omg, those are obvious eyebrow raising "this will come back to bite you in the a$$" moments and it's incredible how they actually DO! I would call it clever writing, but like... it's Riverdale lol. So I really am just glad that the ship was done this way, i'm glad Barchie has the back story that they do, they've really come a LONG way and i'm happy I get to experience their whole growing storyline. It's also especially good because s1 actually provides you with scenes that show you their friendship and how they're so close, you see them hanging out, talking, their pictures together, everything was just really done well with them. Still have a bit of critique with the way Archie contradicted himself sometimes regardinf his feelings for Betty, but let's be honest, we've watched enough Riverdale to know that's just a problem with the writing.

- Kevin/Joaquin is still my favorite Kevin ship, i'm sad it's completely impossible to go back to them someday so for now i'll just be really glad it existed and that I got to see them even if it was short-lived. They had great chemistry and their kiss scenes always outsold.

- Beronica... sigh. Beronica. The most wasted chemistry i've ever seen on CW and I've watched a LOT of CW shows. There was so much potential there, s1 was practically overflowing with them and it's one of the reasons it became some popular. I remember when the Beronica fandom was the biggest one, ah, good times. Veronica and Betty were easily the best part of season 1, their friendship, their lowkey romantic moments, they were just superior in every way. This ship deserved better, not even just as a ship, but as a friendship.

- Veronica's s1 hair >>> Veronica's hair in seasons 2-4. I loved the side part and I am glad it's back in season 5, it looks so much better like that.

- Cheryl, as always, deserves better. Can't wait for her to meet Toni so I can watch again Cheryl finally get to love someone and be loved back, which is exactly what she deserves.

For now, that is all! I will probably make another post soon when i'm done with season one and from season two on I will be live-blogging the episodes since I will be watching it alone. Once again, pls, no hate, my thoughts are my thoughts. Peace.

[sugcrxspice]

You can pick five people go to with you to an exclusive party, who would you take?

"Easy. Mindy, Bronx, Fallon, Benny, and Lou. Those five are a good time, so an exclusive party wouldn't be wasted on them." ( @nvghtcrrors, @thvnderr, @conkniving, @b4rredteeth )

[sugcrxspice]

have you ever had a close call with the law?

"Yeah, I've had my fair share of times where I barely got away with shit. Why... are you a cop? Because you have to tell me if you're a cop."

[sugcrxspice]

Fingers & Ankles

Fingers: Do you play an instrument?

"Nope. I had two guitar lessons as a kid before I gave up because it made my fingers hurt."

Ankles: Have you ever been arrested?

"A handful of times. Trespassing, vandalism, property damage—Johnny Law is kind of obsessed with me."

[sugcrxspice]

"you don't have to take care of me." + cy

Rolling her eyes at the bravado behind his declaration, Ava looked at her older brother for a beat before lazily retorting, "Uh... duh. I know I don't have to, dummy. But that doesn't mean I don't want to." Despite the fact that she'd spent her entire adolescence railing against the idea of being similar to any of her siblings (no matter how much she secretly admired them, looking on with reverence as they grew into themselves with an open rebellion that she subconsciously sought to emulate), the stubborn way that her brother refused to accept help was a little too familiar to the brunette. She knew full well that his chronic illness was wreaking havoc on his body. Cyrek did his best to hide it from her, but she could see it in the way he moved, in the way he interacted with his daughters and those around him. So despite her recent penchant for being the troublemaker of their family, Ava knew it was her responsibility to offer a lending hand, even if his pride wouldn't let him accept it so easily. Fixing an unamused expression at Cy, she remarked impatiently, "Come on. I've stitched myself up a thousand times. I'm not squeamish. Now will you just tell me where you keep your medication already? I'm just trying to help." She knew he was putting on this front to protect her from the reality of his diagnosis, but Ava couldn't bring herself to simply ignore it any longer. Even if she had to fight him tooth and nail to get him to admit it to her, she was going to become someone that Cyrek could lean on for support.

[sugcrxspice]

"you gave me your heart, you know?" + kisoo

"I know. A pretty stupid thing to do, right?" Ava laughed without humor, shaking her head at herself. She should have known better than to convince herself that she could handle a casual relationship of any kind. It wasn't in her nature, to feel things casually instead of letting them consume her. Once again, she was the girl that was doomed to get attached to people that had no intentions of returning her affections. Her last serious relationship had ended unceremoniously with her boyfriend skipping town on a whim, leaving her behind without even bothering to offer an explanation of why he left. Her historically terrible taste in partners paired with a humiliatingly long list of unrequited crushes over the years told a story that Ava thoroughly despised, so it was no surprise that she'd somehow managed to develop romantic feelings for someone that wasn't capable of returning them. Try as she might, she couldn't let her friendship with Kisoo be just that, a friendship with the occasional dalliance. No, her foolish heart had to go and spoil a perfectly good thing. "Look, I already made things weird with Mindy. Can we just... forget I said anything and move on?" she asked quietly, brown eyes pleading with him not to make a big deal out of turning her down.

Maybe one day she would finally give her heart to someone that wouldn't swiftly return it, crumpled in their hands.

[sugcrxspice]

top 5 memories with your late brother

"I have too many to count, but if I had to choose five: After my first break-up in middle school, Kurt helped me fake sick so I could skip school and took me roller-skating later that day to cheer me up. The time he took me to my first concert when I was eleven, and he lifted me onto his back like I weighed nothing so that I could see better. When he drove me to the hospital in secret to get stitches after I got into a really bad fight because he knew that if Mom and Cy found out, they would be really upset with me. We even grabbed ice cream afterwards like it was no big deal. After our parents split and I had a blow-up with Dad, he took me to an abandoned store just outside of town and let me take out all my pent up frustration on some old plates and glasses Mom was going to donate. We threw them against the side of the building and just watched them shatter—I still find breaking things strangely therapeutic to this day. But my all-time favorite has to be that time when neither of us could sleep, so we climbed up onto the roof of the house and just... talked all night. I can't even remember what we really talked about, I just know that it was during a time when I had been feeling relentlessly angry all the time, and joking with Kurt with the calmest I'd felt in a while. I just wish I'd been able to help him the way he helped me."

[sugcrxspice]

smash or pass -> zeliha, bronx, hei-ran, sera

"Smash across the board. Are you kidding? They're all gorgeous. But only if they're unattached, otherwise it's a hard pass. I'm too cute to be a homewrecker."

[sugcrxspice]

how do you feel about having so many nieces? would it bother you to have more?

"Listen, I love those seven little girls more than anything. Who else am I supposed to pass down all my cursed knowledge to? And as long as I just get to be the fun aunt and don't have any actual responsibilities, my siblings can give me as many nieces as they want. It'd be cool to have a nephew. Or at least enough of them to form a softball team."

[sugcrxspice]

If you could skip a chapter of your life or live one over again, what would it be?

"I'd skip the night I found Kurt, 100 percent. If I could, I would erase it from my mind entirely so I never have to think about it again. As for reliving, I'd love to go back to when he was still here, when Cy still lived at home with us, way before I was such a little shit and everything still felt... together. I think I've been chasing that feeling ever since he died." ( @nxnbinarydracvla )