#( int: jeremy ) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

prettyboypistol · 1 year

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It says requests are open but please feel free to ignore if not and ofc don't do it if you do not feel like it or don't have inspo but may I request the mercs (tf2) reacting to finding out the reader (male ofc) has a voice kink and got turned on hearing them talk? Thank you in advance! have a nice day/night !! - transleviathan

Tf2 Mercs Realizing You Have a Voice Kink! || x Male!Reader +/18

Scout

Oh God, he gets so turned on when you tell him.

He already dirty talk babbles, now it's a hell of a lot more intentional.

Pulls you close and whispers dirty things in your ears

"Hey there, baby boy, wanna have a quickie?"/"Hey there prettyboy, you doing anythin' later tonight?"/"I got a bucket of chicken-"

Jeremy HAS and will CONTINUE TO take this as a massive ego stroke that makes him feel high as a kite.

Has asked to see if just his voice can get you off. (embarrassed when it can)

MAFIA VOICE HOTSHOT SCOUT THO

Soldier

He's really confused at first, but understands it after you lay on the compliments about how manly and hot his voice is.

Likes viewing it as him being superior to you in an authority figure in a military sense.

Solly likes dropping his voice suddenly to make you scream in surprise. He likes how you tense up and blush.

High key wants to kiss you when you get embarrassed.

Thinks it's funny when you giggle eagerly when he insults you in a deep voice.

Demoman

He's kinda caught off guard that you find his voice hot, but takes it and sprints with it.

Absolutely turns up the Scottish pet names and slang terms to fluster you. "Attaboy, there's a good lad." Is his favorite way to praise you.

Think it's cute how excited you get when he mutters under his breath.

Tavish grumbles an exasperated "Jesus christ.." and suddenly he has a cute Lil boyfriend in his lap and trying to kiss his face off.

PINS YOU DOWN AND DIRTY TALKS

Engineer

Oh this man takes it and runs with it. As soon as you tell him you like, really, like his voice, he feels his heart flutter

High key wants to role-play a cowboy and outlaw scene where he catches you and you 'convince' him not to turn you in.

You get "howdy"'d a lot more lol

SO MANY SOUTHERN NICKNAMES

Can't help but drop his voice and feel you up, God, he loves the reaction you give. You better be prepared for hot hyperfixation rants

Pyro

Overjoyed that someone actually likes their voice- not in the invasive way. When you confess that you find the muffling of their voice from their gas mask.

They like that your Kink isn't more... explicitly their voice, moreso the muffling.

The heavy breathing and little whines that you can hear when you're close.. nobody else hears that but you, and it turns you on.

Pyro likes talking to you through little orders that are easy to understand. (mmt./sit, mhpay./stay, mm mny./good boy)

Likes grabbing you by your hair and pulling you close to make you listen to the hissing of air from the gas mask.

Heavy

GOD. DAMN. This man goes above and beyond with his accent and russian talk around you after you tell him

He's super flustered but also really happy that you find his voice attractive! He's always been insecure about how he sounds in English because he sounds stupid when he talks in English.

When you express attraction to Heavy's voice, he gets all happy and confident.

"Oh? You like Heavy's voice!" Heavy pins you against a wall, his laugh shaking you. "Good."

Medic

"Oh, but listening to me talking about vivisections grosses you out?" kind of teasing

HUUUUGE ego boost to him, def likes teasing you with his voice and gently touching you in little ways (grabbing thighs, petting stomach, rubbing neck) ALL TOUCHING FROM BEHIND JESUS CHRIST

Again, loves holding you from behind and growling things int your ear as he kisses your neck. (please introduce him to mirror sex PLEASE)

German. So. Much. Fucking. German.

Wants to teach you German so so so badly!!!!

Spy

he knew you had a voice kink as soon as he talked to you.

He loves sneaking up on you and whispering dirty french in your ear. You don't know exactly what he's saying, but you know it's said to make you blush.

Only translates the dirty talk to english to fluster you further with an "Oh, I'm sorry dear, let me translate.."

Spy loves making you flustered with different voices, especially with roleplay scenes (loves dressing up in elaborate roles i'll die on this hill)

Sniper

Pins you against a wall and whispers into your ear, close enough for you to feel the warmth of his breath. "Oh, so you gotta thing for Aussies then? Right, I can work with that, darlin'~"

This man WILL bring you on a sniping mission and order you to get off as his eyes are trained on the target.

Likes how he can just order you to be aroused, just by a certain word or inflection in his speech. He grins like a predator when he realizes his power over you and God. You know it's over for you.

Has offered to dirty talk his way into getting road head

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trueloveistreacherous · 2 years

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MARELLA'S 11TH YEAR TUMBLR ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION @brooksdavis requested: timestamp roulette + The Good Place S03E04 (Jeremy Bearimy)

So the four of us, the six of us really, are doomed. Our fates are sealed. But I think we have one move left: we can try. Try what? Try to do good. That stupid little voice in my head told me to do something good today and it was so annoying, but it also made a dork and his very untalented daughter super happy. Me trying just a little bit put some good out into the world. The six of us are not getting into the Good Place but there are still people int this world that we care about. So I say, we try and help them be good people, try and help them get in. I mean, why not try? It’s better than not trying, right?

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teenytinysandwiches · 4 days

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Int: How do you do "The Jeremy Jordan Eye Simmer"?

#Jeremy jordan #broadway boo's #mirror face #broadway interview #or something #eye simmer #red #mygifs

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amypihcs · 2 months

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Mr Sherlock Holmes (2.0 - der Doppelgänger)

Here we go! It's sunday and ready for some more hound of the Baskervilles! Of course, put on your yaoi goggles!

First of all, Holmes and Watson had a very nice little date at the picture gallery

And Watson, honest man as he is, cares to inform us about his beloved's shortcomings about art. I'm sure they often joke about it!

Now back to work! Just gossiping with the Hotel's reception

Not gossiping, ofc, GETTING INFORMATION. You can't change my mind on Holmes being one of the best gossips in London when he feels like that!

Now we did get some int- WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING NOW?!

They nicked ANOTHER boot?!

They did!

well, someone stops the american, pls?

We have a CASE to solve! And Holmes is so, so happy and invested! all very nice!

NOW. Sir Henry decided to go to Devonshire at the end. And there's nothing we can do about it. But still we have to put set stuff straight. Like, you know you're dogged, right?

DOGGED?! WHAT? BY WHO?! W- AAAH

Okay, do write this telegram, there's noooothing that can go wrong!

BTW, -getting some tea-, tell me about this Barrymore!

LET ME GET THAT AMERICAN BASTARD'S NECK I'LL TIE IT INTO KNOT.

SPOILED RICH BRAT, NEVER HAD TO CARE FOR A FLAT, HAVE YOU? YOU'D KNOW THAT EVEN KEEPING SUCH A HALL LIVABLE TAKES ONE HECK OF A JOB YOU- -i am forcibly shut down-

Now inquiring for a motive.

Mortimer, lad. That is suspicious to say. a lot. That is EXACTLY Holmes' job and he's doing it WELL! How much money did Sir Charles have at the end?

Holmes and Watson both going 'the hell? do people with so much money EXIST?!'

As Jeremy reminds us:

And it DOES! That's one hell of a motive! It's close to a million of motives!

NOW! You SHOULD go, sir Henry, but not alone!

And i SURE can't come... i am... BUSY, YES, SOOOO BUSY!

They agree for leaving on Saturday and the investigation goes ooooon! Two telegrams arrive to prove that two ideas can't work and yes, let's take it PHILOSOPHICALLY!

We still have one more threat in our hands! -Holmes giving Watson tiny kisses -

Here's the third thread!

Nothing against you my man! Just few answers, you had a guy on with you, yes, right. Ah, he said he was a detective.

Anything else?

WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING HELL?!

Okay. Damn. Okay. Time to send in some fencing metaphors! Damn. three on three gone!

it IS an ugly and dangerous busyness. Holmes will be very very worried until it won't be solved. everything will be well!

We'll see how it'll go in the next episode!

#letters from watson #victorian husbands #jeremy brett #unnecessarily handsome #edward hardwicke #the dark side with kind eyes #asexual falling hard for actors from an 80s show #sherlock holmes #dr watson #john watson #fencing metaphors #holmes is very excited about this case #and remember children #yaoi goggles stay ON

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s3xydog · 2 months

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" EMINEM IS DEAD..! "

Helloooo!! Ooc here!!! My main is @bemorefreakyfan !! I made this blog for funsies!! Brooke Lohst is my fave bmc Character, and I haven't seen any rp blogs of her.. sooo!! This blog takes place a few days after "Voices in My Head"! I'm open for ships, and please interact!! I'm bored likeee.. 24/7

My Ships areee:

Puppylove/Jerberry (Brooke x Jeremy)

Playride (Brooke x Christine)

Pupgrade/Frozen Sbarro (Brooke x Jake)

PinkBerry (Brooke x Chloe)

and maybe a few others!!! My discord is "bemorefreakyfan" so if ya wanna talk to me there, go for it!! <3

ic will be black, ooc will be yellow! people that are like- in the little rp circle are @jstgot-weezered (ME!!!), @supermanthirtythree @jakeydillydally, @urrichestg, and @valentines-bitch!!! Anyone can int, just please don't interact as yk.. the characters from this lineup! (Srry for the @ .. =͟͟͞͞(꒪ᗜ꒪‧̣̥̇) )

#be more chill #bmc #roleplay #roleplay account #rp account #brooke lohst #puppylove #jerberry #playride #pupgrade #frozen sbarro #pinkberry

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twistedthings · 1 year

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𝖔𝖕𝖊𝖓 𝖙𝖔: m/f/anyone 𝖕𝖑𝖔𝖙: Jeremy is a golden boy homicide detective with the dark secret that he is a serial killer, while out getting a breakfast order he spots your muse & instantly becomes obsessed. hmu in DMS if you’d like to plot this out more~

The mid-morning sun had just broken through the overcast clouds when Jeremy pushed open the door to a coffee shop, he was on duty but looked like any other patron walking into a coffee shop, typing away at a message in reply to his partner as he entered the place. Shaking the briskness of the morning off his shoulders the detective glanced up from his phone, pocketing the thing as he slowed his approach to the counter long enough to catch sight of everyone in the establishment. With that glance Jeremy had found his newest obsession, it was a feeling, perhaps the only thing he could feel– it started in his gut, cold and churning before it moved up into his chest to start his heart into a race. It took him a moment to focus on the menu after it happened, the barista was more than willing to give him all the time he needed, still, he apologized, ordered and then paid. He had to see them again, make sure they were real.

The tall man moved over to the area where he would wait for his order, tugging out his phone again, shaking his head once slightly to rid the gnawing urge to look at them once more, just a glimpse. But he controlled himself, pushed the sensations down, reading the reply he’d gotten from his partner from the text he’d sent earlier and then he glanced over where they sat. They were beautiful, tucked away in their own little world, pouring over what was on the table before them, Jeremy studied them for a few more seconds before his order was called out and he retrieved it.

It was out of his way, but not entirely so, he made it casual though, walking near their table, he slowed his step just a bit once he was in better eyesight, quickly scanning over their set up before he paused in stride, topic of conversation picked. “Careful reading that in public, people might believe you’re planning on killing someone,” he said, gesturing to one of the books, recognizing the title and author, a small smirk played at his lips before he shifted to stand opposite them on the other side of the table, still in the little walkway between tables, as if he didn’t have intentions on staying very long, despite his starting a conversation or at least trying to. “– I think it’s for a research paper or something similar, but, I’m really good at picking the bad guy out in a room.” In all cases, Jeremy was the bad guy in the room.

#indie rp #indie dark rp #indie horror rp #indie para rp #indie bi rp #indie crime rp #indie mafia rp #indie mutant rp #indie open starter #open starter #| int. Jeremy |

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t-w-i-l-l-e-r · 2 months

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So. The whole reason Jeremy got a SQUIP was to become “the ideal boy”, right? A Manly Man, A Cool Guy, The Hero, Testosterone, Muscles, Gigachad, Getting Bitches, Alpha Male, etc etc. The entirety of More Than Survive is him denying this desire while also VERY MUCH EXPRESSING THIS DESIRE (ur repression isn’t fooling anyone hun). Jake is the prime example of this goal actually fulfilled; he’s well-liked, charismatic, aggressive, go-getting, mew streak 1000000, abs of steel, MANLY. Jake’s everything Jeremy wants to be, everything he thinks he needs to be to ~get with Christine~ and ~have all the friends~ and all the other shit he sets as the squip’s directive instead of the real thing he needs (therapy. And actually maybe some more friends wouldn’t hurt).

So it makes sense the squip is always trying to get him to resemble Jake, right? It molds Jeremy into that MYSTERIOUS MANLY MAN who WALKS WITH SWAGGER and SHOWS UP FASHIONABLY LATE and ONLY TALKS ABOUT HIS EMOTIONS WHEN ITS CONVENIENT and TREATS WOMEN LIKE DOGSHIT and CONNECTS WITH BLUETOOTH COMPATIBLE DEVICES. Y’know, guy stuff! But what’s fascinating to me is that when Jeremy is left to his own (Bluetooth incompatible) devices, he doesnt imitate the popular boys. He imitates the popular girls.

When Jake is upset (such as when he thinks Jeremy is “having sex in his parents bed” which is SO CRAZY and he is SO CRAZY for saying that and I have FEELINGS ABOUT IT but one thing at a time), he gets violent. Yelling, threatening Jeremy, destroying shit—the whole shebang. But when Chloe is upset or defensive, she gets petty. She interrupts Jenna, belittles Christine, betrays Brooke, and insults Jeremy. Neither of these reactions are surprising, especially to an audience expected to be familiar with teen drama stories. As a boy, Jake would be socialized to express his anger through physical aggression. As a girl, Chloe would be socialized to express her anger through relational aggression. And as the Most Boy and Most Girl in the entire show, it tracks that they’d follow these expectations down to the letter.

But Jeremy isn’t the Most Boy or Most Girl. He doesn’t know what the fuck he is, which is made abundantly clear by the, uh, everything about him. Everything including the fact that when Jeremy feels angry, he reacts much more like Chloe would than Jake. If Michael tried to block Jake from leaving the bathroom, Jake would probably have just shoved him out of the way, or at least threatened to (provided Jake couldn’t talk Michael down first, because Jake doesn't seem particularly prone to violence outside of—wow I should just make a seperate Jake post hes a freak I want to study him under a microscope). If Michael blocked Chloe from leaving the bathroom, she would insult him until he was demoralized enough to go with what she wanted without force. Which is exactly what Jeremy does to Michael, and later to Mr. Heere. In these moments, Jeremy is still trying to embody that “cool guy” image, but he doesn’t have the SQUIP’s gendered guidance. He’s going with his gut, and it’s becoming abundantly clear to the audience that this whole “manly man” thing isn’t what Jeremy really even wants (I mean, he turned down sex from a hot girl just a scene prior! He’s willingly failing at Mission Get Bitches!!! That’s like, mission one!!!!!!!). He just wants to… not feel shitty all the time.

And what’s interesting to me though is that while the SQUIP is out of the picture for the bathroom scene, it’s on and active for Jeremy’s confrontation with his dad. When Mr. Heere stops Jeremy from leaving, the SQUIP originally tries to brush him off. However, it tells Jeremy to stop and engage with him a lil bit, actually. Tell him what’s going on, Jeremy, be honest. And that’s where we get that second example of Jeremy more closely imitating The Mean Girl than The Cool Guy. So, like, that’s confusing, right? The SQUIP has been directing him to avoid any perceived femininity (literally one of their first interactions is it questioning/berating him for picking a “girls shirt”) so why would it lean so hard into this more feminine version of aggression when it could just tell Jeremy to, idk, punch Mr. Heere in the face ig? Well, on one hand I think it realizes that actual violence would probably make this conflict more trouble than it’s worth but on the other I think it’s a rly intentional power play on the SQUIP’s part. It’s directions are intentionally vague: “stop”, “tell him the truth”, “smth else vague” idk I don’t remember the scene exactly I’m too lazy to pull up the slime tutorial. The point is that we have seen the SQUIP feeding Jeremy lines like a teleprompter the entire show, literally saying “repeat after me” in its first big Social Interaction Test in bmc p1. I think it’s prompts being so open-ended is a way for it to sweeten the pot for Jerry a lil bit, considering everything that’s about to happen in “The Play” is gonna be so fucking crazy. I don’t think the SQUIP expected Jeremy to turn on it, but it knew it was asking a lot of Jeremy and he was hesitant. Being vague gave Jeremy just the right amount of control that he could say every single thing that he’s wanted to say to his father since the very first scene while still letting the SQUIP take all the credit. It’s oh-so-generously allowing Jeremy to take the reins to show that “see! Before me you could hardly hold a conversation with ur dad and now ur telling him to fuck off TO HIS FACE!! See how not shitty I make you feel?? See how powerful I make you feel?” It’s willing to break with Jeremy’s Cool Guy objective to further its own obsession with spreading the SQUIPs as far as possible, displaying how separate its goals are from Jeremy’s at this point. Jeremy doesn’t want this, anymore.

And then “The Play” happens and everything’s shit til it actually gets pretty not shit and then actually actually gets pretty awesome until at the end Jeremy is wearing Hello Kitty shoes and telling his dad he loves him and having friends (!!!!!) doing all the GIRLY BETA CUCK stuff he rejected b4 n maybe some of the MANLY GUY STUFF too bc what the fuck does it actually matter, real talk? Like, who even cares? And maybe, just maybe, feeling not only not shitty but Genuinely Actually Okay for the first time ever. Yay!

So. Um. Yeah. Idk what any of this means, rly. It’s just smth I thunk up recently and couldn’t get out of my head. Jeremy (affectionate).

#be more chill #bmc musical #jeremy heere #bmc meta #just noticed that I abruptly start capitalizing SQUIP halfway thru but am I gonna change it? NAUR :D #and is this perhaps me trying to spread my nonbinary Jeremy hc thru misdirection and propaganda?#well I’ll leave that up to ur imagination ;)#the squip #jake dillinger #chloe valentine #only partially mentioned those guys but still I believe in equality #actually ig #michael mell #mr heere #if I wanna b rly equal about it #twillertalks

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girl4music · 9 days

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WayHaught’s intimacy/off-screen sex/make out/representation/whatever you want to call it scene.

Some WEARP fans that have watched and reviewed the special have said that the scene feels forced or a little too convenient. I know exactly what they mean by that. First of all - the direction of it is literally in your face. There’s no artistic nuance as far as the direction and framing of it goes. The soundstage is purposefully erotic. It’s meant to be what it’s meant to be. Sex. And the portrayal… well, it’s typical DomKat chemistry, for sure, but it doesn’t feel like it’s their choreography. It feels like this time - it was all the showrunner’s choice. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s just not what we’re used to as veterans in engaging with WEARP when it comes to the way DomKat themselves portray WayHaught’s physical intimacy. It usually looks and feels a lot more natural and improvised. This wasn’t so it didn’t feel as organic as I’m used to seeing it being.

It was still a realistic and authentic portrayal of WLW intimacy. It just didn’t look or feel like WayHaught’s specifically because it didn’t look or feel like DomKat. I mean I could be entirely wrong about that. Maybe this is just how both actors being settled into and fully embracing and comfortable with their queerness are. I’m just saying that it didn’t look or feel that way to me. However, what I did pick up to counteract that about the intimacy scene which was absolutely a return to form for WayHaught - that I always really love - was what caused it to happen in the scene itself. It was emotional intimacy and a useful and effective way to convey and develop on their narrative. It was, to me, a beautifully written acknowledgement and communication of both Waverly and Nicole’s feelings, desires, intentions, ambitions in that Waverly has just received acceptance and validation from Nicole that they could part ways for awhile in order for her to do what she wants to do in Egypt with Jeremy and in how Nicole confesses to her her tendency to delay or stifle Waverly’s potential because she doesn’t want to be without her and because her own personal desires and ambitions include and require Waverly to be around - to be home, with her as partners. I actually really like that this was how their physical intimacy came about. That it wasn’t just made into a scene for the sake of it even though Emily likely did think about that part first because she always makes representation a priority.

Also - as I mentioned in a previous post - I also really like how Waverly’s top came off but Nicole’s didn’t because I genuinely felt that was in respect to Kat being pregnant. Just as I feel it was also in respect to Kat being pregnant that that intimacy scene didn’t go on any longer than was necessary to convey the intention of the scene and so they wouldn’t be left in the awkward position of representing a full-on WLW sex scene because I have no idea how they could without making Kat feel extremely uncomfortable as much as the fans probably wanted and wished for it to happen in and at that moment. Emily thought of Kat.

And forgive me for being blatantly gay and a pervert, but I could not fucking take my eyes off Dom there so obviously, that was also a factor why I love the scene. But I mean, I was pretty much staring at Dom every time they were on screen throughout the entire thing. I cannot believe how much more visually attractive I find the character Waverly with a butch presentation. So yeah, that contributed a whole lot too. I won’t lie. I’m a red blooded queer woman. Fucking sue me 💁‍♀️

All in all though, I was satisfied with what we got for that scene given the 90-minute timeframe restriction and the fact that they had to hide or cover Kat’s belly. I do feel the choreography could have looked and felt more natural to DomKat’s chemistry but it’s no big deal. I’m happy I got a well-written scene regardless.

There’s certainly been much worse WLW representation of physical intimacy in TV art/entertainment. I think what we got was pretty good.

It’s just not what we’re used to getting. That’s all.

#wynonna earp: vengeance #wynonna earp #vengeance #wayhaught #domkat #waverly earp #dom pc #nicole haught #katherine barrell #wayhaught’s intimacy #off-screen sex scene #make out scene #wlw representation #queer representation #spoilers

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panelshowsource · 11 months

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ok i finally listened and i watched taskmaster nz series 2...8 times

and i'm ready to offer my reaction & thoughts but please understand this is over 3000 words (which means it is too long to proofread) and it is so bc i do not know how to be concise but also bc i decided to a PROPER brain dump so if you like reading this kind of thing enjoy and if you don't do not click keep reading!!!

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS WORD VOMIT INCOMING

i KNOW what i said. i KNOW i said i'd kinda watched s1 of taskmaster nz and it was okay and jeremy and paul were okay and guy william's outfit scarred me for life but all in all it was okay, and i can't say nz humour (which, and i stand by this, is a bit monotonous) is my fave, and i wasn't that excited about watching international taskmasters in general so i wasn't prioritising it. i know what i said!!!!!!!!!

but

i did what i was told incessantly to do and i watched taskmaster nz series 2. it's...it is. it is what everyone said it is. it's fucking hilarious. it's so good. it's one of it not the example of a perfect cast with perfect energy and synergy and banter and friendship and competition. everyone tried so hard and succeeded and failed in their own hilarious ways. the tasks are half-original, kinda-inspired (if not appropriated), simple even when they're cerebral, and very core-of-taskmaster-y. CHEF'S KISS — by tm nz standards

i watched the entire series...8 times? i have A LOT of opinions and i wasn't gonna get into all of them because i don't love to debate and am scared of being roasted lmao, but i'm being brave!!

BUCKLE UP FOR MY BRAIN

➜ imo there is no standout contestant, it's a matter of taste and they're GREAT, but all in all i think the season wouldn't have a single chance of being what it was — in its total chaos, moments of innocence, moments of genuine friendship — without david correos, who was more or less the heart of the season. it's very obvious and very cute he is friends with paul, laura, and guy irl (guy mentioned their team is actually in an improv group together he's very close to laura and presumably david), and real-life friendships bring out a series panel's comfortable dynamic much faster than if they're meeting for the first time. and on that note —

➜ as much as i enjoy non-comedians on the show, especially when they're people i really like, the cold hard truth is that the very very very best series of taskmaster are comedian-only lineups. pls do not come into my inbox rn with your recency bias and yell about s16 this is a dead serious, studied fact: series 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 9 (i am excluding recent-ish series because legacy takes time to establish itself but imo 12–14 were very strong) being the epitome of tm, it's not a coincidence these lineups are more or less ALL standup comedians (richard osman gets a pass for producing cats does countdown and being, arguably, the ultimate comedy superfan). a big reason for this is that non-comedians — and they almost always admit this, in interviews or on the podcast — are very aware that they're out of their element, are the odd ones out, feel the additional responsibility of having to find their place and suss out the dynamic and be funny and fit in. sometimes they're not really that funny and it is what it is (and it's the show's job to edit them and encourage them in a way that will = entertainment; they know what they're signing up for, or the risk of them not fitting in well, when they cast these people). other times, it's not that they're not funny or capable, but that these overwhelming feelings hold them back: they don't pipe up, they don't speak when it's not their turn, they don't challenge greg or the other contestants, they don't fight, they don't tease. yes, when it's their turns to speak, they're often silly and fun, and when they do the tasks, they're often silly and fun, but they just don't hit their comedic potential — because they don't know how or they don't let themselves try. very understandable! it's very intimidating being on TASKMASTER with PROFESSIONAL FUNNY PEOPLE including GREG AND ALEX who are LEGENDS. but the best thing about comedian contestants other than their comedy is that they want spotlight and they want to be the centres of attention and they will take risks, so they (usually) make the most of their time, whether it's the recorded tasks or in the studio. THE POINT, IF I MAY BRING IT BACK, BEING TASKMASTER NZ SERIES 2 — matt heath not being a standup but being 1) an extrovert, 2) your standard entertainment industry attention seeker, and 3) very good friends with jeremy means we didn't get these obstacles from him. if anything, he was more relaxed and game than everyone else in the room at the start of episode 1 because he is already in the accepted graces of the literal taskmaster. he tried really hard, he fought hard, he teased hard, he laughed a lot. i get that being a funny guy radio dj may not seem that different to being a comedian, but it is, and he was SO good! —and every contestant who is a friend of a taskmaster is always good, that's another studied conclusion

➜ why was david naked all the time lmfaooo body positive KING his haircut is also adorable. speaking of a lack of clothes guy's shorts length was lovely for the eyes

➜ momentary disgression: i'm SO interested in the story david told on the podcast about russell howard going to one of his shows and then, like, immediately leaving as fast as possible when it was over because he cringed to death or was scandalised or something—imo it wasn't very clear just what david was implying russell said/felt and i'm really curious. if anyone has insight into this pls send it to me

➜ i don't think jeremy or paul get much better than season 1 and ultimately they're both just okay, and they will always be what holds tm nz back from reaching tm uk-levels of god-tier tm. i know a lot of people will like paul because he's attractive and he is friends with rose (and others) and from time to time he is amusing. sometimes that's all it takes, and if that's all it takes for you, that is well and nice. but...personally...i can't get over how QUIET paul is...alex isn't half as quiet as paul, very often asking questions throughout the tasks and making little passive-aggressive comments at someone's effort or even just looking at the camera...paul is so often just there doing and saying absolutely nothing, EVEN when he's involved in the task, and a healthy 60% of the time he's asked a question he does a very forced deadpan "okay" that just...like it's not funny — it doesn't hit that comedic beat — after the first hundred times. he may just not be a lightning quick improv kinda guy, and i think the inherent one-dimensionalness of his character hinders him, but idk he could offer SO much more during the tasks, especially when he already has a good irl dynamic with so many of them. there are times, during the tasks, he could just not be there. i also don't necessarily understand his character in that during the tasks he's exceptionally shy/reserved to the point of being mostly silent but then in the studio will pipe up and act "normal" in a way that seems like the real paul and not the character paul. idk. i just think...why isn't he more present and also more consistent. (and i'm gonna say something controversial here but i also watched guy mont spelling bee and paul was not very funny on that — again, quiet — and i think the truth is he might be a little boring at times. i said it. im sorry to everyone :() i think this is a common criticism of jeremy but i will agree that, while i do like him especially when he actually lets himself be silly and banter-y, it is BEYOND ME how he just flies through the prize tasks and the scoring. the prize task is practically show and tell with no comment at all from jeremy instead of a dialogue between the contestants and the taskmaster, and then half the time jeremy doesn't explain his scoring for anything. often i'm left thinking "how could someone show up with this bone-shakingly good prize and jeremy just nods and smiles and goes 'okay who's next'?" and maybe it's not jeremy, maybe it's the editors, but it drives me INSANE when that happens. greg would spend the whole hour going over the prize tasks if he could, just cuz he loves the banter and ragging on people — and the show is noticeably weaker when the banter is lost. hence my issue with, to bring it back around, banter-avoidant paul. (also sorry if it's annoying when i compare taksmaster uk and taskmaster nz, i don't mean to do it tooooo much but it's unavoidable at times, pls understand...) (also, i'm saying all of this without even commenting on the actual dynamic between the taskmaster and his assistant, but i'm not gonna touch that — despite the fact the greg/alex dynamic is the heart of tm and what every single contestant ever praises most about the show.) SO i do think the series having matt for jeremy and david (at least) for paul did help encourage them in being funnier than they may have been otherwise. (was guy williams being on series 1 why paul was..idk...like he was...on series 1? i also recently learned a lot of people don't like guy williams lmao very interesting...)

➜ it's hilarious to me that jeremy is OBSESSED with sports and greg LOATHES sports (except the darts lmfao)

➜ ngl i have always wondered why taskmaster uk didn't use their increased budget to do, like, 10% more landscaping — i get not wanting to make the place look TOO manicured but would it really kill them to just fix the cracks in the driveway? idk — but then i watch nz and do feel like it's a little too much of a set hahahah but i like the outdoors they really have a nice big yard to play in (the sewage ("legally it's not ☝️") pond is a choice tho...)

➜ i read about 100 reddit threads about te reo māori, how prevalent it is in school and culture, how many people speak it or even want to speak it, its roots, its appropriations — and the majority of new zealanders said they don't really care about it, it's not actual practical in the way chinese or german or whatever is, they don't think it should be mandatory in schools over other languages, etc. i found these reactions 1) mildly suspicious but idk how conservative the nz sub is but also 2) really surprising! BECAUSE there is WAY more te reo in the every day language of, at least, the new zealand convo i have witnessed on a few nz panel shows than i think they realise. the ones i've heard the most are a few different greeting lines to open episodes, pākehā, whanau, and kai, but there are TONS of te reo words and phrases sprinkled into everyday language and i felt like i was googling so much (even if the meanings were relatively obvious from the contexts). very interesting! off the back of that i had absolutely no idea people in new zealand said "en zed" to refer to nz in any capacity but it makes sense i just never thought about it before

➜ something i adored about the series — that we see less and less of each series from series 1 of tm uk — is editing in reactions from the panel in the studio while they're watching the task vt. it's HILARIOUS watching, say, tm uk s1 and seeing romesh smacking tim on the back, josh pointing fingers, roisin with her hands in her head, etc in real time as they're watching the tasks for the first time. editing this way also helps express the group friendship and harmony, which is so important to a successful season. tm uk NEVER does this anymore and it's one of my biggest criticisms of the show — but this series of tm nz did it so much and it was HILARIOUS watching the panel falling all over each other laughing at everything. they're so goofy

➜ the fake paul with the moustache was, in fact, a dish, whoever he is congrats on being hot

➜ very random moments i liked:

"you think she's doing great things for women in those boots? 🤨💅"

it was so underrated that guy's idea to transform a room was to turn it into a farm and he had people in animal costumes being sheep or whatever that shit was HILARIOUS

matt ziptying a brush to a helmet to look like an ancient roman cracked me up so hard "husband to a murdered child" ??? smh

when laura was trying to rope the cameramen into american pie-ing her wedding cake and paul went "don't ask them...because one of them WILL do it"

"a tongue kiss with an extra 10%? i'm not sure—" "10% extra, maybe thumb up bum" ????

matt forgetting his hometown and saying "i was born in oxford in england! i forgot… that was fucking ages ago!"

"because david eats something doesn't make it food :|"

"this reminds me of my mother's music group ...i hated every one of those bitches" like?? LMAO i NEED the story behind this comment

"one is south african, one is filipino...but they both like their balls...swiss"

"i'm fairly certain i'm not gonna crush this challenge, but i know at some point you and i are gonna box and/or wrestle, and i'm gonna crush that one"

matt being so serious that his dream animal is a horse

"i probably won’t even need the other food colouring but how good is it not to have paul in the room?"

why was jeremy so into those urinal cakes?? like okay jeremy hmm

every time jeremy and urzila flirted

when paul was convincing laura to go through with the sabotage and they agreed david probably wouldn't fuck over his team but guy definitely would lmfao

"tell me a little about yourself" "i'm paul" "...interesting. i love that about you"

it's hard to top david and guy being actually naked for the tie task but i actually think guy's farmer's tan stole the show

when guy was looking for paul in the rain and said "the irony is if paul was here we could talk about this weather, he loves that sort of shit" LMAO

urzila being the ghost of abe lincoln was actually genius and she deserved more flowers for that lateral thinking

♪im gonna gonna drown you / in your own blood♪ why is that so catchy?? "matt matt run him over like a cat" "david you shouldnt run over cats" but fr during the diss track task when matt said he was gonna eat their asses and also while they were dissing guy matt went "he's good looking though" 💀

in the secret shoelace task david said "i take solace in knowing that everyone else has go through this as well" was like a fucking mirror of the time josh widdicombe did a secret task and was like "i'm not the one who has to watch this five times" hahahaha also when they had so much time to kill paul was just reading the entire story of rumpelstiltskin please

when guy realised, during the milk/microwave task, that he should have listened to paul and like angrily laughed "i'm furious! i'm furious with everyone! this is a disaster!" you don't see that side of him often and it was so funny

➜ regardless of whether these yielded funny results (they did anyways of course), these were most of my favourite ideas for tasks:

transform this room when the lights go out

shoot a chocolate fish into the fishbowl and say the name of a different animal with each shot, most powerful animal wins

create a diss track about the members of the other team

the fucking abe lincoln one

the milk/microwave task (hilarious on both tm nz and tm uk)

also i personally want to play the celebrity name game from that one live task

➜ all in all the series had quite a few very simple tasks — build a tower of onions, squirt the sunscreen, fly, make the loudest noise — and that's something i really cherish and appreciate and feel is at the heart of what taskmaster is all about. i'd say tm nz, being in its baby era, is able to get away with having a lot more simple, straightforward tasks, which are far superior to some of the incredibly convoluted ones we see on tm uk. i see people say alllllll the timeeeeeee "it's not the tasks that matter it's how to contestants react to them + the editing" but i do not agree — plenty of tasks are duds because they are duds and not because everyone else failed to find the entertainment value in them. i would love to see tm uk work harder to bring the tasks back down in scale and convolution bc tm nz has been able to come up with quite a few that have never been done before so i know they can too

➜ something else this series does VERY well is little morsels on top of the established format: laura's sabotage, the brussell sprouts that kept floating throughout other tasks and then appear in another task!!!, paul and david's trip to christchurch, laura rounding up their girlfriends, the shoelace secret task, paul lying and fucking with the magnet, the crew "accidentally" (though i do believe it was an accident idk if we'll ever know) turning the lights off on david, even the abe lincoln task that took place outside of the taskmaster ranch — all of these things contributed to the format being more than just task/score, task/score, task/score. they felt like little cherries on top, extra content, at times extra suspense. felt like every episode had something a little extra funny in this way. very impressed by this stuff!

➜ task complaints:

alex has talked before about one of the central concerns of post-production being the ordering of the tasks and particularly choosing the very first task they show, which sets the stage for the panel. i actually feel like this series didn't do a good job in choosing their very first task, which surprises me bc that seems like an easy thing to get right with this series' group + task lineup. not a big deal but something to consider!

in the live task when they had to choose a weapon and half something (which i LOVE the idea of), it bothered me that they didn't measure by percentage and instead by actual kilo

is it just me or does tm nz feel like it sends a LOT of balloons into the air? have they ever specifically confirmed they retrieve all of the balloons they let go? ngl the amount of balloons they send off + the amount of food waste can sometimes be distracting

the piggy bank live task was totally fucked like the length of time it look paul to get the pictures of the piggies to jeremy was ridiculous and heavily disadvantaged everyone — and they didn't even show us all the piggie drawings????? HELLO I WANNA SEE THE PIGGIES??

jeremy giving guy's new zealand pillow 3 points was the worst scoring decision of the series

frankly it was GROSS when david sucked all of the room temperature tomato juice cans. but one thing i've noticed is — it may be a me problem? maybe an american problem bc we don't eat beans the way brits do? do nzers eat beans on toast? anyways — when it comes to people licking/eating cold/room temp canned goods. because i can name 10 different times i've seen contestants lick baked bean juice or spaghetti hoop sauce off their fingers and i just cannot imagine eating those things in any amount not heated up. cold bean juice? BLEGH

okay i'll wrap this up now because i wrote an incoherent outline of a thesis on this series but it was FUN as HECK and i'm so happy that funny people get to enjoy the legacy of a fan favourite series (on the tm podcast, guy seemed to take a lot of pride in this when ed mentioned it<3) and i like them all and i wish they would come back and do another 10 episodes. paul if ur reading this make it happen

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