#(( part of it being miranda's self hatred and want to ''punish'' herself for being a mistake

[royalreef]

      She has an image to maintain, and just because she’s close to someone does not mean that image does not also extend to them in turn. Failure to comply with that image means consequences. If the world is not scared of what the Merkingdom might do to them, then the Merkingdom loses bargaining power, and when Miranda is the only face of the Merkingdom currently inland at the moment... What she does echoes out onto the entirety of her people. 

      Stray elements and actors who know and can say better, actors who do not know the stakes at play and the game they are pawns within, are going to reveal secrets that they cannot understand the power of. There’s a reason why she’s targeted the family and friends of those who need to take a knee before. If they don’t know something is bad or implies weakness, then they’ll expose it the second they begin to lose control.

       ....... Albeit, currently the discussion is upon a more personal scene anyhow. Just because she’s close to someone doesn’t mean that they aren’t fully capable of skipping the act of playing the middle man, and becoming a danger to her themselves.

      And who wouldn’t, really? Who wouldn’t see her, in her weakness, and not smell the blood in the water, not be compelled to take what is rightfully theirs? It was Miranda’s fault for straying, after all. It’s some weakness in her that caused this, some weakness that has to be removed before it can cause any further damage. They’d be doing her a favor, really. She has to be taught a lesson.

[urcadelimabean]

Miranda/Eleanor ficlet for femslash friday

I loved all the Mirandanor we got today!! I thought I would join the party. Here's the first scene of my Miranda-is-a-witch AU, set during season 4. The idea is that Miranda will seduce Eleanor away from Rogers (what like it’s hard?)

-

Eleanor thought she was dreaming at first.

She had fallen into a deep sleep beside Rogers under the weight of the warm humid night. Her heart ached. In moments of weakness like this she was struck by hatred so strong she felt physically sick with it--hatred for a man she had convinced herself she loved, hatred for herself for making the choices that had lead her here. She'd betrayed everyone she knew for Nassau, and in some twist of poetic irony, that list now included herself. She had betrayed herself. And what good had that done Nassau? She didn’t believe the woman she’d been would recognize her anymore.

She was too tired to get up and drown her thoughts with a drink, so she let dreams claim her.

At first, it was like many of dreams--indistinct and a little muddled. She was walking through a house, and through the dream haze she thought distantly that she recognized this place. She had been here as a girl. This was the governor’s house in Charlestown. And she was at a door, and the door was opening.

Flint sat at the table before her. Beside him, Miranda, her dark hair curling over her pale breast. They both sat still and tensed. At the head of the table was a man she did not know--Lord Peter Ashe, she supposed, invented by her imagination, for she had never met the man. Why she needed to reminisce about this place, she had no clue. Charlestown had burned months ago. Miranda had been killed--she had been told it was by gunshot. And Flint had begun a war.

They were speaking about the pardons, and a Lord Hamilton. Eleanor could not make much sense of it. It was a blur, as dreams go. Complete nonsense, fabricated by her overactive tired brain, she was sure. The Thomas Hamilton part was no doubt inspired by rumors about why Flint had never visited the brothel or taken a lover. Eleanor wryly acknowledged that of course there were others besides her who hid such liaisons with the same sex, so it was not impossible to imagine that Flint was one of them...but that was all this was, imagining. An imagining of answers for things Eleanor had long wanted to know. About Flint’s past--about Miranda’s past. None of it was true. It was a dream.

At the beginning she had thought she disliked Miranda, perhaps for simply having secrets. A whole island had been under her power at the time, but Miranda had seemed untouchable at the heart of it, shrouded in mystery, beautiful and distant. When Miranda made it clear how she viewed the men with whom Eleanor did business, Eleanor had resented it furiously, all the more for the voice in the back of her head reminding her she had thought similar things of those men. They were stupid and crude, many of them. If not most. She did not want Miranda to think she was no better than any of the witless fucks on the beach. What she wanted was to make Miranda understand how hard she had worked, how dirty she had fought, just to be viewed as an equal to those men. And she wondered what Miranda would have done in her place.

She could say she didn’t regret anything she had done, but that would be a lie. She could say she wasn’t proud of what she had done, but it would be a lie as well. Why she wanted to work out these contradictions in front of Miranda was beyond her. She didn’t need Miranda’s favor. She hadn’t ever needed anything from Miranda.

The clock struck it’s chime, and with a rush of vertigo, Eleanor felt suddenly like she was there, in the room with the four of them: Flint and Miranda and Ashe with his guard. A breeze was coming in the open window, ruffling Miranda’s hair and the fabric of her dress.

Ashe seemed not too different from Rogers--a man convinced of his righteousness, used to getting his way, completely unaware of the privilege he had been awarded by his sex and status.

When Ashe’s betrayal came into the open Flint went silent, like the breath had been knocked out of him, but Miranda flared to life.

“I want to see this whole city, which you purchased with our misery, burn!” Miranda shouted, like a clap of thunder, and it was so loud that her words rang in Eleanor’s ears.

Miranda’s eyes kindled with fire, and Eleanor could practically feel the heat of her rage, feel it spreading to her own chest as if caught by an ember, and all Eleanor could think in that moment was that Miranda had never looked more beautiful.

Eleanor had thought--naively, stupidly--that Miranda was above those emotions like rage and vengeance. She had seen Miranda as some gentle Englishwoman living peacefully in the countryside. It was a flat image one takes at first glance, one likely intended by Miranda herself, a perception so obviously superficial that Eleanor was ashamed.

Miranda was like her. She had held this fire inside her for years, and kept the appearance of control and calm, and it had burned until she couldn’t contain it. The pain, the loneliness, the rage, the hurt. Eleanor knew about that too. They both knew about being judged twice as hard for being a woman, and being twice the monster for it when the ember finally caught fire.

With that realization Eleanor felt herself waking from a slumber she felt had lasted months since she’d been in England. And she burned, hot and then with cold fury, for being captured and brought to England, for mutilating herself into the role she now occupied simply for the need to survive.

But she would feel no shame over that. She would not punish herself for where life had taken her--because if she did, she would be doing the work of those who would like to see her punished.

She saw an echo of her old self in Miranda, and wanted to reach out to capture it, as much as to reach for the familiarity of her past self as to reach for the beautiful stranger before her, to reach for the secrets behind her mouth and eyes, to know--

The gunshot rang out and Eleanor flinched and watched with horror as Miranda crumpled to the floor. She heard Flint’s yell, but even as Miranda fell, she remained in the air where she had stood as an after image. Or perhaps she was a ghost. It was all a dream, anyway. A ghost and a dream, twice as foolish for Eleanor to be thinking about in British-controlled Nassau from what would soon be her marriage bed.

Miranda looked right at Eleanor. She looked hard at Eleanor, she she could really see her. Then Miranda walked towards her, and Eleanor noticed that there was no gunshot wound on that perfect brow. She could feel Miranda’s breath on her lips for a few moments before Miranda leaned forward kissed her.

It wasn't like Max's kisses, sweet and soft. It wasn’t like Vane’s kisses, hungry like he was trying to possess more of Eleanor than she was willing to give to anyone. Miranda's kiss was searing and hard but without any desire to conquer, the kiss of an equal. Miranda tugged on Eleanor’s lips with her teeth and entered Eleanor’s mouth with her tongue like she was getting to know her, but also like she already knew some part of her--some of the darkness, and the loneliness, and the pain.

If ever Eleanor had imaged being kissed by Miranda she had not thought Miranda would kiss like this.

Miranda’s kiss was heavy and purposeful, and every part of Eleanor’s body felt alive, more alive than she’d felt for months. Miranda pulled their bodies flush together, and Eleanor’s hands moved down to her bodice, trying to touch her everywhere at once, as Miranda’s nails dragged down her neck. Miranda’s hands pulled at her clothes, and Eleanor’s mind was ablaze with the thought of everything they could do together, all the ways she could get to know Miranda’s lips and eyes, the curve of her waist, the softness of her dark hair--

Eleanor sat up in bed, chest heaving. She could still feel the impression of Miranda’s fingers on her throat, the softness of Miranda’s breast under her fingers, the burning heat of Miranda’s kiss on her lips like a promise. She curled onto her side as if wounded, sliding her hand down until her fingers met the wetness between her thighs.

That had been no dream.

[drivingsideways]

Could you eleborate on your tags in this post? I really like your metas! If it's not too much trouble! /post/163702439009/do-you-think-flint-enjoys-violence

Hi anon! Well, I’m going to try and keep this short, but it’s about Flint. SO. :D 

I think @sidewaystime did a wonderful job of talking about how Flint’s relationship to violence is a complicated thing. What I was responding to was a post series Discourse that seems to be divided at the moment along whether Silver was ‘right’ to do what he did to stop the war or not. A lot of the argument for the “yes” side of that argument seems to rely on painting Flint as someone whose anger was entirely (a) born of reasons personal and (b) completely out of control. 

So let’s address (b) first. There are examples where Flint’s rage *is * out of control: Charlestown comes to mind, the Maria Aleyne, post Charlestown murders. In fact, post Charlestown and until the Maroon Island [i.e. until he resolves something within himself with the help of Dream-Miranda] is the closest I see him as being completely batshit insane with rage/sorrow/despair. But as I see it: at no point during this time is he unaware of the consequences of what he is feeling/ doing either to himself or other people. I bring this up because I think there’s a tendency to read Flint as unaware of his own True Motives. Some of this comes from the Miranda/Flint fight in 2.05  What she says (yells!), is that he hasn’t been “clear” about his goals TO OTHER PEOPLE. A corollary to that is that he hasn’t been open about what led him to this goal. And this is absolutely true. Flint discusses his grand plans with exactly two people before that- Gates and Eleanor, both of whom remain unaware of the tragedy that drove Flint to Nassau. Miranda is saying that without communication he is closing every door to achieving his goal except the one that leads to more violence. And this is where she says -paraphrased- [you are fighting for the sake of fighting, because that’s the only state you can function in]. And I think people have taken that and run with it as though it was an Eternal, Unchanging Truth about James. Although the very next thing that happens in the plot is that he listens to her and chooses a less violent path. 

And that’s the kind of thing I feel gets missed out: all the times he doesn’t choose a violent option even though it exists. Btw, that is a thing he has done from the first episode. Yes, he kills Singleton brutally, but hey, remember the literal first dialogue that we hear from him in the entire series is him putting a stop to his crew murdering someone? He listens to Eleanor, agrees to a dialogue with Vane in S2. He listens to Miranda about Ashe. Eleanor, again, in S4, in the middle of the freaking war, he allows himself to be taken hostage if it means there may be a chance to win the war without excessive bloodshed, even when that decision is hotly contested by his own people. 

This is not a man who is incapable of not choosing violence, it is a man who deploys violence strategically. This is a man capable of swallowing his pride and anger, if he sees a way to achieve his goal without violence. Is the Peaceful Way his first instinct? NO. But is he incapable of taking that path? NO. 

Here’s Flint in 3.10 telling his back story to Silver: 

Flint: Madness is such a hard thing to define, which makes it such an easy label to affix to one’s enemies. Once it had been applied to Thomas, once our relationship had been exposed, defiled, scandalized… everything ended. There were times that I was persuaded to sue for peace since then, but that was the day that on some level I knew… that England was broken… and that sooner or later a good man must resist it. [emphasis mine]

Ok, let’s back up a bit. Earlier in S3, Flint has a chance to end a war before it even starts, an offer he absolutely refuses.  Why does he? 

3.07, On the beach with Governor Rogers: 

Woodes Rogers: Lord Thomas Hamilton. I didn’t know him, but I understand you did. Miss Guthrie tells me you were part of the first effort with Lord Hamilton and Peter Ashe to introduce the pardon to Nassau. As with most things, the men first into the breach bear the heaviest casualties. But in the hindsight of victory, they were the ones whose sacrifice made it possible. Without Lord Hamilton’s efforts, your efforts, it’s likely I wouldn’t have been successful in my efforts to finally secure the pardon. All I have done here is finish what you began. I am now what you were then. And without you, there would be no me.

Flint: Clever.

Woodes Rogers:  Thank you.

Flint: So that’s what this is. We’re all reasonable men, we all want the same thing. You offer me a pardon, I accept it, this all ends? 

Woodes Rogers: Maybe. The pardons are on the table. No one is being hanged. No one’s even being tried. They’ve all been forgiven, just as you wanted. Just as Thomas Hamilton wanted. So what is it that you’re fighting for that I’m not already offering?

Flint: Thomas Hamilton fought to introduce the pardons to make a point. To seek to change England. And he was killed for it. His wife and I went to Charles Town to argue for the pardons, to make peace with England, and she was killed for it.England has shown herself to me. Gnarled and gray… and spiteful of anyone who would find happiness under her rule. [emphasis mine]

So here we go: Flint listens to Woodes Rogers’ proposal- which sounds exactly like what they were working toward just a few months ago?? But this time he refuses it. Because he sees right through it, and he recognizes that there is no possibility of reconciliation that does not include absolute surrender to England’s [”civilization’s”] Rules. The Rules that include continued slavery. That include men like him being condemned and ostracized. Woodes Rogers’ proposal sounds exactly like Thomas Hamilton’s- except that the intent was completely different- Thomas wanted to change the status quo and Rogers intends to preserve it. 

And you know what? He’s fucking right. Because literally the next fucking thing that happens when Flint refuses, is that Woodes Rogers ceases being “reasonable” and  ALSO tries the oldest trick in the book: gaslighting. 

Woodes Rogers: “ Then let us be very clear about something. I am reasonable in seeking peace. But if you insist upon making me your villain, I’ll play the part. So let us assume that, as of this moment, the unqualified pardon is no more. From this moment on, any man participating in the act of high seas piracy will be presumed to be one of your men, an enemy of the state. I will hunt him, I will catch him, and I will hang him. And while I am aware of your feelings on the subject, I am no backwater magistrate cowering in fear of you. You know where to find me. [emphasis mine]

Right: because somehow demanding freedom from slavery is “making [you] a villain”. 

What I mean to say in the above is that: Flint’s refusal to arrive at a compromise with England is not because he’s “out of control”, it’s because he is clear sighted about how systems of power work. He’s cut through all the bs that is “civilization” as per a colonial power and has found it to be rotten to the core. And that is what he pitches to the Maroon Queen: the absolute truth, not just about England (which she knows already) but also about the consequences. There is no certainty about anything- but trying is better than not. 

And now coming back to (a) which is that Flint’s anger is entirely personal. To which my answer is: of course it is. There are people who can devote themselves to larger causes and fight oppressions that they do not themselves experience personally, and I think those kind of people have amazing empathy, and may we all be more like them.

 But the sad truth is a large number of us do not wake up to systemic injustice until we experience it personally. And then what? Are we supposed to sit on our hands and say, ok, this anger of mine is really selfish because it has its beginnings in something awful that happened to me, and now that i recognize it doesn’t just happen to me, it happens to a whole lot of people both like and unlike me, but I’m not going to do anything about it-because maybe I’m playing out my own issues? 

But (i hear you say), this isn’t just about filing a petition on change.org, it’s literally starting a war. 

Ok, first off: I’ve said it before- the war is already on. Slavery is an act of war. Imprisonment of  “sexual deviants” is an act of war by the State on the individual (and larger queer community). Flint and Madi were attempting to change the terms of it. And secondly, let’s give rest to the idea that it was Flint alone who wanted a war. 

Mr.Scott to Madi: 

Mr.Scott: “ I wish you and I had not been so separate all those years.I wish I could have found a way to be a better father to you. But over time, I was determined to leave you something behind, to give you the one thing that no one could ever take away and that would make you strong enough to understand their world, interact with their world, wage war on their world. But if their identity lies in their stories, I wanted you to know them so that when we are ready to call them enemies, you would be ready for it.”  [emphasis mine]

This is an absolute recognition of what I was saying before: the war was ongoing. Mr.Scott and the Maroon Queen have spent a lifetime to prepare Madi to respond to the war on their people. In Flint, the Maroons had finally found an ally that could actually help them get somewhere. 

And as for Flint, the discovery of the Maroon Island led to another realization: and that was he no longer has to wage war alone. That there is solidarity to be had.  And that came at the end of the period where he was at his most self-destructively lonely. And having found himself on relatively stable ground again, he’s able to both articulate the effect and the use of rage/hatred. 

Here’s a conversation with Silver, in 3.09 about the punishment meted to Dobbs (over attacking one of the Maroon Crew)

Flint: That’s not why you did it.

Silver: Really? Would you like to tell me why I did it, then? 

Flint: Well, I wasn’t there, but, um, I’d hazard the guess that you learned of what had happened, told him how fucking stupid he was, and in that moment, he gave you a look that amounted to something less than contrite. And in that moment, you felt it. 

Silver: Felt what? 

Flint: Darkness. Hate. Showing indifference to the authority that you sacrificed so much to acquire, disdain for refusing to acknowledge that his actions, had you not intervened, would have led to an outcome that he would have held you responsible for reversing. Pride. Questioning what kind of man you are if you don’t seek retribution for the offense.

Silver:  So what are you saying? You saying I went too far with him?

Flint:  Maybe you went too far. Maybe you didn’t go far enough. Maybe you did it just right. The point is that while you were doing it, you heard a voice telling you that disciplining him would prevent him from repeating the offense, a voice that sounded like reason, and there was reason to it, as the most compelling lies are comprised almost entirely of the truth. But that’s what it does. Cloaks itself in whatever it must to move you to action. And the more you deny its presence, the more powerful it gets, and the more likely it is to consume you entirely without you ever even knowing it was there. Now, if you and I are to lead these men together, you must learn to know its presence well so that you may use it… Rather than it use you.  [emphasis mine]

Silver: You have some experience with this, I imagine, living in fear of such a thing within you? 

Flint: Yeah, I do.

Silver:  I can’t tell if this was a warning or a welcome.

To repeat: this is not a man who is wandering around in blind, selfish rage that’s indiscriminately targeted and can only be quenched by blood. This is a man who’s been through hell and come out on the other side, and then says “I cannot believe we’re as poorly made as that”. Which makes me want to burst into tears, even as I type this. 

 OK WOW. I NEED TO STOP. I’m not sure if this is what you wanted to hear, anon. :) 

[stilljumpingback]

(via Black Sails Episode 303 - XXI)

Black Sails Episode 303 - XXI

WELL-FORMED THOUGHTS

In this episode in particular, Flint is punishing Silver for not being the partner he wants him to be.  Twice he lays the guilt on Silver VERY thick; first, by reminding him they are in this mess because Silver allowed the crew to choose to check out Hallendale’s abandoned ship, and second by killing the crewmen and then implying Silver is a burden when he says, “If you’re not strong enough to do what needs to be done, I’ll do it for you.”

Flint is recklessly lonely, and Silver knows the cause.  He explicitly remembers that pivotal conversation in 204 when he realized that Flint didn’t want people to think he was a villain, and he intuits that Flint’s death wish is the result of his increased villainous behaviors and therefore, increased self-hatred.  But that’s not the most important thing going on here.  In 204, during that conversation, Flint wanted Silver to defend his actions and remind him of his goodness.  We know this because it is during this episode that he remembers his famously sexy defense of Thomas Hamilton.  (I discuss this in my review of 204 here.)

Flint is punishing Silver for not being a good enough partner.  Silver makes bad decisions, yes, but more hurtful to Flint is how Silver villainizes Flint for the hard decisions he makes as leader (cutting rations).  He wants a partner who will understand the hard things he does and love him anyway (Miranda).  Because Silver is not doing this, Flint lashes out and attacks him for less vulnerable reasons (the bad decision-making as evidence that Silver is weak).

In the launch as they investigate the whale, Silver explicitly asks to be Flint’s partner.  He offers up the worst and best parts of himself (the cleverness of stealing Flint’s Urca gold, the betrayal of that same thing, the goodness of giving up his share, the vulnerability in admitting it was because he worries he is nothing but a cripple without the Walrus crew), and in this moment, Flint sees the possibility of the partnership he craves.  It is still not entirely settled, but in the most beautifully obvious symbolism, when they team up, food and fresh wind is returned to the crew.

FRAGMENTED THOUGHTS

Anne and Max are facilitating the conversion of gold to pearls with the help of the most disgusting, racist man on the show.  Max is SO magnanimous to put her professionalism above his “complimentary” racist comments, and I love Anne for pointing out the theme of the show:

“A world where he’s the civilized one and we’re the savages is a world I’m never gonna fucking understand.”

Woodes Rogers wants a peaceful transition of power in Nassau, which sounds really great.  Eleanor presses him to consider a show of force, which might take longer but she believes will ultimately be more effective.  This leads us to discover that Rogers’ desire for peace is less a moral position (like it was for Thomas) and is actually because he needs the transition to be quick so that he can pay back his creditors and appease Spain.

Twice we get Walrus crew members talking about Flint as though he’s God.  My favorite of the two is by a random crew member moaning about how God has abandoned them…until suddenly I realized, wait, is he talking about Flint?  It there even a difference between the two to this poor man?

“We’re all dead men.  Smote by a storm, the product of his rage.  We are dead men.  Consigned to a place where we are no longer worthy even of the good lord’s anger and must endure his indifference.  We are dead men.  Left to suffer, knowing that he no longer hears our cries, because in this place he is absent.”

And of course, we get later get Silver pondering the same kind of thoughts, saying to Billy, “Once again, he is able to conjure the reality he desires just as it was in Charles Town, and just as it was in that storm.  There is no denying a man with that kind of power.”  At Billy’s incredulity, Silver qualifies his statement by saying it doesn’t matter whether Flint conjured the storm or conjured the men into fighting it.  Either way he has a godlike will.

Jack and Vane try to convince the pirates of Nassau to unite in a show of force against the coming Navy fleet.  Despite his best efforts to be a leader, no one is giving Jack the time of day.  It isn’t until Teach arrives and supplants Flint (“Flint is dead…I’m prepared to step into Captain Flint’s shoes”) that the pirate captains agree to the plan.  This is not because he cares about Nassau, but because he cares about Vane.

Teach:  I do not seek your partnership because I am too weak to defend myself.  I don’t seek it to protect my things or to increase profit. Vane:  Then why do you?  You’ve been gone eight years, and suddenly my partnership is this valuable to you?  Why? Teach:  Eight years.  Nine wives.  No sons.  There is an instinct to leave behind something made in one’s own image.  Nature has denied me the ability, but not the need.

I really like that Vane immediately told Jack his plan to leave with Teach after the defense of Nassau.  It says a lot about the trust they have in each other.  I also adore Jack’s conversation with Anne, and how she teases him with truth, and he laughs and accepts it.

Jack:  It bothers me.  Why do you think that is? Anne:  ‘Cause you give a shit what he thinks of you.  You always have. Jack:  You think? Anne:  Yeah.  You ain’t alone.  Plenty of men in this place have done plenty of stupid shit just to hear Charles Vane call him a proper pirate.  Though you might be the only one who actually made a career of it.

Billy teaches Silver to be a leader, how sometimes that means you accept the unfairness of greater rations because you need the strength to do your job well.

Max and Anne break up in the most loving way possible.  They are the healthy version of Eleanor/Vane – they have fundamentally different goals in life, but they discuss this openly and accept it without trying to change the other person.

We get Max’s backstory, beautifully and heartbreakingly delivered by Jessica Parker Kennedy.  I admire her very much for admitting what she wants and admitting that she will accept horrible things in order to get it:  “The things it took to make that room possible, they were awful things.  But inside that room was peace.  That is what home is to me.”  This helps me accept her habit of protecting herself and her people without much care for how it will affect the rest of Nassau.  Ignorant selfishness is repugnant to me, but self-aware selfishness is something I can understand.

ANNE KISSES MAX’S FOREHEAD which is Jack/Anne code for I Love You So Very Much.

Billy swings wildly between supporting Flint for the good of the crew to saying Flint has gone too far (in this episode and in the show at large).  He puts all the responsibility for fixing it on Silver, claiming that he’s next in line after Gates and Miranda to be a person who can reach Flint and change his mind.

Billy:  He listened to them, altered his plans when they told him to.  It’s possible.  The difference is he saw them as his equal.  He respected them that way, so he was willing to listen.  You need to find a way to do the same. Silver:  Both those people ended up dead. Billy:  *stares at Silver*

Flint’s hallucination of Miranda (discussed in depth in the Runner Up section) ends with her saying, “At its end is where you will find the peace that eludes you, and at its end lies the answer you refuse to see.”  As she says this, Flint envisions death standing before him on the Walrus deck.  Death is the only peaceful ending that Flint can imagine, but at that very moment, the whale is spotted and the possibility of food is discovered.  THIS SHOW and its beautiful symbolism!

Silver and Flint rowing the launch out to the whale, having Very Tense Conversations, and capturing a shark is one of my favorite scenes in the whole series!  I could watch and rewatch it forever.

As mentioned earlier, it is no small matter that once Flint and Silver learn to work together as partners, the Walrus escapes the doldrums!

I love Eleanor for how she simultaneously compliments and insults Hornigold in suggesting he be the one to read Rogers’ pardon to the people of Nassau.

“Whatever’s about to happen, there’s no stopping it now.”

At this point in the show, I am emotionally confused.  The pardons are extended, many people accept them, and…this seems like a successfully peaceful invasion.  Other than the bounty on Charles Vane’s head, it’s hard to figure out why exactly this isn’t a good thing.  Then again, going to Peter Ashe in Charles Town seemed like a good partnership with civilization too…

[royalreef]

@preparetodie​ inquired:  MELODY.... I MUST KNOW Melodies for Muses - Accepting

Plan on Coming Home - Expus ( ft. Jubyphonic )

When I was younger I would listen to these stories They speak of happy runaways and superhero glories Let's start another chapter, please just never fall away from me Because I promise there's still so much good left within me

So reach your hand out, don't you ever let me go I know my demons try to sink this sailing boat Just walk right next to me along this winding road And we never, never, no we never plan on coming home

(( I think a lot about these two in comparison to their specific tropes. I suppose that’s a bit of a given, after all, with how Aaravi exudes protagonist energy and Miranda is literally meant to be the next closest thing to a Didney Princess, but it’s something that just sticks on my mind! Especially since... Miranda in particular is a bit of a subversion of it? And of course there’s the canon-typical subversion, that she’s a tyrant and cruel and merciless while still holding the appearance of a fairytale princess, but I never like to just settle for that kind of trope.

Because my Miranda in particular both knows about the fairytale stories of princesses and enjoys them! In a way, it’s what she wants to be. To not have to question the given, that she is royalty and that the kingdom both exists and must be served to utmost devotion, while still being able to have that happily ever after. To just have someone come around and save her from her fears, all the dangers and pain that she has to deal with, to have her cake and eat it both. She’s been severely abused her entire life, and when that happens, you start to feel like finding any way out is impossible. Freezing up and taking the punishment, to just accept it time and time again without trying to get out in some way, is something you learn, not something you’re born with. And the Merkingdom was good in teaching her that there’s nothing she can do to stop it, that this is how things will be and either she changes and adapts to that, or they break her. 

When hope gets rung out of you so fully, so entirely as to teach you that nothing you can do will change it... You kind of start idealizing a situation where the responsibility isn’t on you to fix it, that you needed someone else to take you away from the nightmare, to set everything in order for you. And sure, it isn’t good, but it’s a method of coping - and when Miranda first started to learn English and began her journey of eventually coming onto land, the fairytales of princesses were easily accessible to her, served as a good stepping stone for her to start picking up on landfolk habits, and were something she could imagine herself in and find comfort in. That’s part of why she picked up she/her pronouns and comes off so fem - because it was her way of bridging that gap and comforting herself.

Yet, through all of this, Miranda still doesn’t see herself as the hero. Not only does she not see herself as having that kind of agency, but there’s just a lot of unaddressed self hatred that she feels. Her kingdom tells her that she’s the peak of goodness who all others should strive towards, and she’ll try to act like it and sometimes even believe it - but it never really... Sinks in. More often she thinks she’s tainted, or wrong, or just broken, and so she can’t be the hero. She doesn’t feel like she’s good, so how can she do any good?

And I think all of this is just unbelievably ironic with how she and Aaravi ended up falling for each other. Especially since we didn’t really plan for it to happen this way either! Miranda likes the ideal of a fairytale knight, or a hero to save her, yet at the beginning... She just saw Aaravi as The Slayer. Someone who hunted monsters, and very little else left to it. Not a savior, just someone else who she found amusing to tease and useful to do jobs for her. With this coming so out of left field for her, growing more concerned and caring more about Aaravi, until she realized, oh, yeah she does love her, starting to coincide with Miranda considering Aaravi ( unconsciously or not ) more in her hero’s role - it just feels particularly right. That they both start to show their vulnerable sides to each other, trusting each other with their pain, and they both start considering each other more fully part of their own stories.

All this to say - I think this song just perfectly captures all of that! Feeling like you can’t be a hero until you start a new story with someone who you can trust to handle your demons with, to start a journey with someone else and grow out of the point of pain and trauma that the place that was supposed to be your home was. Finding that there is some good remaining, encouraged by the person who both helps you heal and who you help heal too. To finally write their own story, together.