#(( therefore if someone else sees her Differently then that must be how she actually really is

[royalreef]

      She has an image to maintain, and just because she’s close to someone does not mean that image does not also extend to them in turn. Failure to comply with that image means consequences. If the world is not scared of what the Merkingdom might do to them, then the Merkingdom loses bargaining power, and when Miranda is the only face of the Merkingdom currently inland at the moment... What she does echoes out onto the entirety of her people. 

      Stray elements and actors who know and can say better, actors who do not know the stakes at play and the game they are pawns within, are going to reveal secrets that they cannot understand the power of. There’s a reason why she’s targeted the family and friends of those who need to take a knee before. If they don’t know something is bad or implies weakness, then they’ll expose it the second they begin to lose control.

       ....... Albeit, currently the discussion is upon a more personal scene anyhow. Just because she’s close to someone doesn’t mean that they aren’t fully capable of skipping the act of playing the middle man, and becoming a danger to her themselves.

      And who wouldn’t, really? Who wouldn’t see her, in her weakness, and not smell the blood in the water, not be compelled to take what is rightfully theirs? It was Miranda’s fault for straying, after all. It’s some weakness in her that caused this, some weakness that has to be removed before it can cause any further damage. They’d be doing her a favor, really. She has to be taught a lesson.

[a-confused-spoon]

Jinx's haircut: how Powder and Ekko's story comes full circle

Hi! So, it appears Jinx will be cutting her hair short in season 2 (which is cool as fuck), and I’ve been seeing a lot of discussion on it, so I wanted to share my two cents 😊

I might refer to Jinx and Powder as if they are different ideantities, but I'm aware that's not how that works; it's just an easier way to express myself. Also english isn't my first language, so apologies for any possible wiritng mistake (this is a bit of a mess 😅)

* deep breath in *

As it has already been pointed out, this choice must have a deeper reason other than esthetic (I've been seeing the phrase "hair holds memories" used a lot), and what's even more interesting is that her new look resembles a lot how she used to look like as a kid; a bit bizarre, given how the entirety of season 1 showed us how Powder and Jinx's coexistence only brings the girl pain. As a matter of fact, the finale makes it clear to us that even she sees these two sides of herself as mutually exclusive.

So why and how exactly would this happen now?

What I keep going back to is the idea that maybe, just maybe, this has to do with her possibly "taking the lead" in Zaun; whether she actively becomes a leader or if she just "leads by example" (therefore passively), it doesn't change the fact that for better or worse she will be depicted as a leading revolutionary figure.

And fair enough: she singlehandedly killed half of the Council, the people who hold decisional power and have contributed to the misery on the other side of the river. After Vender's failed attempt on the bridge and Silco's focus on his own business dealings with Piltover among everything else he did, Jinx's attack on the city - something she does to ultimately solidify her identity as Jinx - opens a door that the Undercity was waiting to be opened for decades.

Here's the thing:

Being Jinx doesn't just mean acting on unbridled rage and being a menace to society; it means being feared by most, if not all, with the only possible exceptions being those who also accepted their inner monster. To put it in Singed's words, "If you take this path, they will despise you".

Being Jinx fundamentally implies loneliness.

Silco was consistently reminding her this: "I am your family; everyone else betrays us" / "Everyone betrays us Jinx! Vander! Her! They will never understand, it's only us".

In the official clip 'Enemy of my enemy' we find out that he only saw her cry twice, the two scenes we also witness as an audience, meaning he didn't see her cry once during the timeskip, and I'm sure it's safe to say that she most definitely did cry a lot given how she goes from episode 3 Powder (scared, couldn't grasp the concept of killing someone, heartbroken by the nickname jinx) to episode 4 Powder (a beast, kills in cold blood, has taken Jinx as her actual name)... it must've been an ugly transition, and it definitely didn't happen overnight; if Silco, who was the closest person she had all that time, didn't see it, then I think it speaks a lot on how alone Jinx really was in her darkest times.

For all the love he had for her, he reinforced this idea of isolation as an unescapable consequence of the right path, and I think this is also reflected in the lair that (supposedly) he found for her, especially when you compare it to the Firelights’ one:

The Firelights (this is important for later) are all about community and sharing joy as well as struggle and pain; they live in a place of healing, filled with life, without a roof so the sunlight can reach them during the day, and at nights living bugs that shine a light of their own fill up the hideout.

Jinx's place is diametrically opposed to this: it’s dark and looks cold, it's completely made of metal, the roof’s blocking any natural light and it hangs above an abyss with no bottom to be seen; the only company she consistently has are the puppets of her dead brothers and the only living thing that knows his way in is the only one that can understand, the only one she can rely on - aka Silco himself.

However, as Jinx herself knows, this may have worked for him, but it wasn't working for her for the longest time: she never stopped yearning for affection, love, friendship- that part of her never really went away; it was only being suppressed, suffocated, maybe unintentionally, and I strongly believe that it only worsen her trauma, and it's one of the things that made her spiral so bad into her depression, to the point of hallucinating.

I think that Silco's line in the baptism scene is particularly relevant here: "You need to let Powder die, so the fear of pain will no longer control you", where the fear of pain would refer to the fear of being on her own, of always failing and disappointing others, of being weak and never satisfying the desires, expectations, hopes that Powder carried within her to be “a valuable member of the team”.

If she lets Powder die (which again, she does in the final episode of season 1), this is no longer a problem: if she doesn't do teams, because teams don't want a jinx to begin with, that fear can't get to her; if she's a solo player, a self-sufficient loose cannon, she won't need to rely on anyone but herself because she's strong on her own and does not need the support of others.

If her power lays in the monster she is, the one everyone condemns her for being, then that childhood wish of hers just isn't a realistic option.

...but then this happens.

We know from the teaser trailer that in the operation Caitlyn's leading, 'finding Jinx' and 'neutralize any agent still loyal to Silco' are separate objectives. Which makes sense, since as far as they know Silco was the leader of a group of people, and now that he's gone Jinx is an individual under her own agency and her own agency alone. If initially she fights by herself, for herself because she can and fuck Piltover, then it all falls in line with what I stated so far.

But then we hear Sevika, who has hated Jinx's guts and who Jinx has hated back since day one, telling her to get the people together, to unite the Undercity as one because she can do that. Mind you, the girl has lived in Zaun all her life, she knows damn well that the end of Piltover is something the entire Undercity has been waiting for (“Imagine what the whole of the Lances could do!” from episode 2); yet despite this she needs to be openly told what is going on, that she’s not sizing the opportunity she’s created. She isn't, cause... her? Leading? A group of people? No. Not after the last time she tried to help, and most importantly, not after everything she learned under Silco.

Jinx can't fathom the idea of herself as a part of a part of a team. How can she? She literally just came to terms with isolation as ever present- and now, for some reason, the people of the city, who always either ran away from her or wanted her gone, are dying their hair blue in her image, trusting her, following her, painting murals of her as the bringer of revolution.

She isn't taking power forcibly like Silco did; she's just doing her thing, her Jinx thing, and Zaun, on its own, is choosing her as the leading figure.

Imagine how frustrating it must be for Jinx to look back and realize that Silco, her father- who has loved her, forgiven her, raised her, called her perfect, defended her, was there for her, saved her, guided her- was wrong, and put her in a condition of never ending existential pain when she could’ve had it differently the entire time; imagine how confusing it must be for her to look back and realize that it never mattered whether or not others understood her, 'cause she wasn't as unlovable or unforgivable as she thought herself to be in the first place, that Silco and Vi were never her only options.

Imagine how painful it must be for her to look back and realize that for all this time she could’ve had friends and be accepted and be trusted and rely on others because she never HAD to be alone.

...keeping this in mind, let's talk about Ekko and the missing flashback from episode 7 for a moment.

Admittedly we don’t have a lot of information, other than it took place not too long after the events of episode 3 (then again, to be fair, we don’t know a lot about their relationship as enemies as well: it’s all between the lines; I surely have my own opinions of how they feel about each other being on the enemy side, but I don’t believe it’s super relevant here). What’s for sure about this flashback is that it was a defining moment in both Ekko and Powder’s journey, especially for the latter. Someone surely died, and it 100% was Powder’s fault. It could be both the result of her very first crisis or her first intentional murder; in both cases it results in her deciding for herself to align with Silco as opposed to her best friend.

The way I like to see it is that, since the trauma was still very fresh, she might have been too scared of the idea of fighting alongside others after what happened last time, and she pushed herself to kill someone on purpose just to push Ekko away and prove a point (Silco’s point). I love the idea of the tragic irony of Ekko being the one person Powder managed to really save, and Powder being the one person Ekko couldn’t.

Personal headcanons aside though, the last part is the most important one here: Ekko couldn’t save Powder from Silco, and by extension everything he represents.

I’d like to point out that one of the most tragic aspects of the two becoming enemies (to me) is that, throughout those years, they reciprocally were the only living person the other shared a past with (well, Vi too, but she was in prison the entire time).

Silco not only takes over by force, he also marks as his all the places of said past: the Last Drop, Vi and Powder’s house… one line that always stuck with me from episode 7 is when Ekko tells Vi “All that’s left is Jinx, and she belongs to Silco”.

Not with Silco; to Silco. As if she too a piece of the past he turned into his property.

It’s like he understands that while yes, Powder made the decision by herself, that she wants to stay with Silco, he also knows that the man is the one to blame for... well, all of it; the kid was there when Silco showed up unprovoked at Benzo’s place, he knows things went downhill from there.

Ekko knows that he is the bigger problem and the bigger enemy. Even Vi, without knowing a thing about the past few years, can tell Silco put some shit into her sister’s head; Ekko can probably guess the same, difference being that Ekko has the responsibility of keeping other people safe, and he can’t risk it all for someone that, while possibly manipulated, ultimately isn’t collaborative. Ekko can’t jeopardize all he’s built and done for his former best friend, no matter how much it hurts him to be her enemy.

Back to season 2.

Like the entire fandom has already pointed out, there’s a 99.9% chance there will be an alliance between them and Jinx, especially when looking at Ekko’s new outfit.

Of course, this will not be immediate: my guess is that while Jinx works alone at the very start Ekko will be with Heimerdinger and following the arrest of the Firelights we see in the trailer maybe there’s a split. And even after Jinx takes charge so to speak, and possibly frees them, among others, from Stillwater, it’s possible there will be (and there should be) stages in the alliance: initial distrust, potential fight within the community- like yeah, let’s not forget what Jinx did to these people.

Even if they do go ahead with it, it is probably out of necessity more than anything else, with not one but two military forces against the whole of the Underground. It’s not like they’d be the most ecstatic faction about it, and the same goes for Ekko, which is why the new look will probably come in later.

But exactly like he could see Powder for a brief second on the bridge clearly enough for him to stop himself from beating her, he will, most definitely, see her again through Jinx's inner turmoil... that, and she also can’t keep her shit together when it comes to what she's feeling, the girl really is an open book.

And yeah, the situation would be pretty emotionally disorienting: she's being as Jinx as ever, but people like her now, which is something she used to want as Powder, who is supposed to be dead, and they're willingly following her like they willingly followed Vander and there's murals of her with him, though she's pursuing what aligns more with Silco's dream, but also turns out Silco was wrong about Powder, who might still be alive deep down- the whole thing is a big big mess.

Despite everything that I said about him, it’s not like Jinx would start to resent Silco. She could never, not after his last words to her. They mean the world to her, he means too much to her, and let’s not forget she probably hear his voice now too, along Mylo’s and Claggor’s; it might even be a calming voice to her, one she’s happy to hear even if she knows he’s not real… which makes it all worse and more painful to deal with.

In this scene from the trailer, it seems like Ekko’s talking to her (some have pointed out the blue hair out of focus). Since this is still the look in season, at this point in time Ekko (and the rest of the Firelights) are not truly committed to this alliance with Jinx, and vice versa, Jinx is still figuring out how to deal with all this unexpected appreciation.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned about Jinx’s way of dealing with inner conflicts, especially ones that deal with the memories of the past, is that it often leads to disaster. This is a bit of a long shot, but what if the reason Ekko’s so beat up Is because she unintentionally sabotaged one of their own attacks on Piltover? Or perhaps they were caught up in a tough situation because of something she did or didn’t do? My point is that if he really is talking with her while in this condition, she probably is in a similar one.

Regardless, they are on the same side, and they are having a conversation. This is very likely the first time they reach out for each other since the day she chose to not go with him.

And I think it’s believable that of all the people she now has beside her, she’d talk to Ekko: he has this leader stuff already figured out. He has and still is taking care of people and keeping them safe better than she ever will, and on top of that, he still is the only one in Zaun (again, aside from Vi) who has known her since before she was Jinx, and he spared her on the bridge. He’s the perfect person to open up to.

And, get this, not only Ekko understands the pressure of taking the lead: he knows what it means to look back at someone you were fond of and feeling the pain of being wronged by them. He knows what it’s like to look back at old memories of someone you trusted and wonder if all those moments together really were what you thought they were, he knows what it’s like to wish it could all go back like it was, just so that candid version of them you have in your mind can still be true, present and untainted by the ugliness that now ruins all those precious moments.

He knows, 'cause he went through it with her... and now he can finally reach her.

Ekko may have not been able to save her from Silco then, but he can save her from Silco now.

And since he has built a community that grieved together, went through pain and joy together, he simply does what he’s always done with the Firelights. Sharing.

He tells with her what has worked for him: “Sometimes, taking a leap forward means leaving a few things behind”- in the Franch dub he says “leaving a part of oneself behind”- meaning it doesn’t have to be all or nothing: she has the power to choose what to kiss goodbye and what can stay…

…and then she cuts her hair.

I think it’s important to note how these two moments are very similar in setting. I kid you not, the first time I watched the trailer I was convinced this was a scene where Jinx was burning Silco’s body after she killed him- which frankly could still be the case. I’ve also seen discussions being made for the little girl we see in the trailer being burned here, or Sevika, but I don’t think it’s either. Jinx is completely desensitized to death, even when Silco died her makeup isn’t this ruined. My guess is that this is something much deeper:

Jinx never properly grieved the past. Ever. So, maybe, she’s burning the part of herself she’s leaving behind. The hair she cut.

The hair Silco used to braid for her.

These two scenes parallel each other because “nothing ever stays dead”, but Silco must stay dead, for her own sake. For her own happiness: she is leaving him behind for good.

Only after this moment we get the new look for Ekko: he can work with this new Jinx, the one that now knows she can work within a team, even to the point of committing to the outfit (lol).

If in season 1 Jinx accepted her identity as it was defined by Silco, in season 2 she's re-inventing it under her own conditions: she gets to choose what "being Jinx" may or may not include. And it will always include a little bit of Powder.

Thanks for reading! 💚💙

[sunnybyler]

i’ve been sitting on my thoughts for so long but i just have to get this off my chest. i don’t like to yuck ppls yum so if you like e/riel pls scroll away nd keep having your fun it’s not my problem. however some of y’all can get mean as HELL and as an elucien i have to get this off my chest. (also warning for gwynriels i’m with y’all i defend y’all here however i do go in a bit on az in this so fair warning). i truly have no idea why e/riels cling so hard to the azriel bonus chapter in acosf because that chapter, more than literally anything else in the series, proved to me that e/riel is absolutely NOT going to be endgame. let me explain:

1. it is explicitly stated that azriel did not think of his relationship with elain outside of a sexual nature. i think some ppl get kinda annoyingly puritanical when trying to make this point when it’s like 100% certain lucien had sexual thoughts of elain too. the point isn’t the thoughts themselves. the difference here is the explicit mention that he didn’t consider anything with her outside of that.

2. the point above ^ is further exacerbated by the fact that az did not give a flying fuck if he killed elain’s MATE. even if elain hasn’t accepted the bond, it would still be extremely painful for her based on what we’ve seen with rhys, feyre, and even rhys’s parents (who weren’t good for each other, yet we saw how rhys’s dad lost it when she died). now of course us lucien lovers know damn well he would never in a million years call a blood duel to try to claim elain (and fuck u rhys for saying that, i usually have your back but come ON you are not the only male who can respect their mate’s autonomy). but az doesn’t know that!? in fact seems to agree with rhys that he could. ppl argue on who would win that fight — my opinion hinges 100% on if powers are fully unleashed but that’s not the point at all. no matter WHO wins, elain is going to feel responsible for someone’s death. of course it wouldn’t be her fault if men decided to be fucking stupid, but with the little we know about elain shows that she would feel so guilty if that happened. but azriel doesn’t seem to give af that anyone fighting to the death over her is the last thing she would ever want. not only did az not think of elain outside his fantasies and therefore not fully care for her, but he doesn’t seem to even KNOW elain in this chapter. now, i could go in on this in acosf as a whole. but i’m keeping it to this chapter alone.

3. and further on THAT point, az doesn’t really give any reasoning on his interest in elain outside of this insane “three brothers/three sisters” thing he fully pulled out of his ass. tbh i almost thing this is sjm’s way of addressing the fan theories on that. now i get it to some extent from az’s pov — seeing his brothers happy with these sisters must fuck with your head after you’d all been bachelors together for 500 years. especially considering how he’s felt unworthy of love his whole life and this seems to support that insecurity of his. i get that it makes him feel ostracized from them, and that he’s now an outlier not being with an archeron. i get that. i do. i sympathize with him here. however that does not change the fact that he isn’t speaking of elain like she’s her own individual here — hell he fully calls her “the other”. i think part of this conversation was him being frazzled, i give him a bit more grace than some do (tho he pissed me off BAD in this scene), but we were fully in this man’s head. did he give us a full reason why he liked elain besides his brother’s mates and his sexual thoughts?? they would’ve at least crossed his mind when rhys was grilling them if sjm was trying to set up her next romance here. as it is, we have literally nothing to imply azriel actually likes elain herself and not the idea of being closer with his brothers.

4. az has kinda a habit of ignoring the reality of the women he’s attracted to in some way. he has his own version of them in his head that he puts on a pedestal. now i could do a whole psych eval on this man and how he thinks he’s unworthy of love and therefore only allows himself to have feelings for women he knows/thinks he can’t have. but to focus on this chapter alone, my points above ^ about how he doesn’t really think of elain outside his fantasies/bringing him closer to his brothers and not really understanding her pretty much wraps it up there. i mean he even talks about how he thinks his scarred hands don’t belong on her because she’s so perfect in his eyes. that’s not love, that’s obsession and it’s unhealthy. he clearly thinks himself below elain and ignores that she has her own flaws too.

5. aaaand i saved the biggest for (almost) last….. GWYN. this is a genuine GENUINE question. why in the fucking hell. would sjm make half the chapter focusing on az & gwyn if she was teasing e/riel. like that makes no sense. not to be annoying and mention chekhov's gun but that idea applies to relationships too. i’m sorry but she couldn’t be more explicit about her future romances. you could argue “oh well it’s because there’s gonna be a love triangle”. y’all. elain has. elain has a mate. there already IS a love triangle. there was absolutely no reason for her to bring gwyn into this chapter other than her preparing us for a future relationship, literally none. especially with all the romantic subtext (hell not even subtext, just TEXT). gwyn getting him to talk about himself so easily when he’s so quiet usually, him taking the idea of making her happy and he “buried the image down deep, where it GLOWED QUIETLY” (which SCREAMS mating bond to me but even if it’s not it’s clearly something he cherishes deeply), the SHADOWSINGERS SHADOWS SANG FOR HER!?

6. the fucking necklace regifting. oh it’s bad. OHHH ITS BAD. when the girls realize it’s gonna be SO messy but im hoping sjm doesn’t go the stupid cat fight route bc neither of them did anything wrong. az did. i’m sorry i’m dunking on him so much in this post i rlly don’t hate him i just think he needs like decades of therapy (which tbf don’t we all) which i unfortunately don’t think sjm is going to give him before giving him his romance. but even the biggest azriel lovers have to admit that this was insanity. a few points on it here. first, if it’s so easily regiftable then it couldn’t have been that well thought out in regards to elain. say what you will about lucien’s gifts, even argue that he gave her jewelry too. but elain was actually shown wearing pearls. az’s gift seemed shallow to me — it was something pretty, and elain’s pretty, and it had a flower, and elain gardens. it’s clear lucien put SO much more thought into his gifts, whether he succeeded or not (which i need to remind y’all — we still don’t know. maybe she liked the gifts maybe she didn’t, but regardless she acted the way she did bc of her feelings about the bond, not the gift). and azriel has spent so much more time with elain than lucien has. if that necklace really felt like elain to him, he could’ve kept it or returned it. but nope. buddy gave it to a whole other girl bc he could easily associate it with someone else. he clearly felt some special pull towards gwyn too, going out of his way to give it to her. he had ONE meaningful conversation with her. i already discussed the quote earlier that makes me think mating bond personally. but no matter what, him giving her the same gift he gave someone he was pursuing romantically is a clear sign of what’s to come (and probably a setup for some sort of drama that i don’t think im mentally ready for).

so there we have it! why i think that the bonus chapter thoroughly proves that e/riel is not going to be endgame. i honestly think it’s possible they might be a thing for a minute (tho i could also see this being the closing of that chapter), but i don’t think it’s going to last. sjm just gave us too many blatant hints that elain and az would NOT work together long term, and that azriel in particular is more suited for someone else. i might’ve missed some points bc there is SO much that goes down in this tiny chapter so lmk if there’s other stuff you picked up on!

[mirrormazeworld]

TWST Theory : Deep Analysis Based on Alice in Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass - Crowley The Mad Hatter (part 1)

⚠️WARNING⚠️

⚠️CONTAINS SPOILER CHAPTER 6 AND 7⚠️

⚠️VERY COMPLICATED TWST THEORY, MIGHT GIVES YOU HEADACHE, PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK ⚠️

Note:

You've read this far, congratulations! Beware that this is the longest and most difficult part to understand out of all parts it might give you headaches if you're not ready. (It's ok, I can't take it as well myself that I almost cried when I wrote this) Keep in mind that I have little to no evidence, therefore this theory is my original theory and purely just my assumptions so please take it with the grain of salt (as usual).

Before I explain, I want to say that I did this analysis and research purely because I want a base to make a hc for Crowley for my own fanfic/yumeship since we have little to no information about him. I just feel the need to get it all off my head and share it here because of how complicated it is and to better understand what kind of Crowley he is in my lore that I created, since how I see of Crowley is very different compared to how most people see Crowley. Most people see him as the mastermind, a very evil villain to the point most people in the fandom hate him unreasonably. I can guess it's because of almost all people in the fandom, both JP and EN side doesn't know what twisted he is and he is just mysterious and ambiguous that he is misunderstood.

Crowley has been believed for a long time as twisted from Diablo, Maleficent's raven because of his name. Some also suspected he's the crow in Snow White. Even so there's no telling of what he is twisted from. And don't you think it's a bit weird when both Diablo and the crow in Snow White role actually doesn't really have that much significance in their respective stories while we know Crowley would play a great part in twst as he is still the Headmaster of NRC. I'm sure twst fans have been dying to know what he is supposed to be for almost 3 years including myself, but I've always believed he is actually also twisted of something else other than Diablo and today I'm going to share my own analysis and hc of Crowley that hopefully would help you understand him and his character better, and that is :

Dire Crowley : Twisted of Mad Hatter

A long time ago I was just thinking, if Yuu supposed to be Alice that comes to a Wonderland, surely there should be Mad Hatter somewhere...? And then I remembered someone that seems to wear hat everywhere no matter the circumstances...

That's right, it's the Headmage of NRC, Dire Crowley.

And isn't it kind of weird that his hat is similar to that of Ramshackle ghost's? As if the clue is there in front of your eyes.

So I decided to look at it further and found something interesting....

Alice in Wonderland : The World of Math

Alice in Wonderland is a children's book because of its fantasy like story, but if you're a true book lover, you'll know that Alice in Wonderland is a book full of riddles. There are a lot of english wordplay but what not many people know is that most of the riddles in Alice in Wonderland are related to Math, as Carroll is also the Math Logician.

I won't explain much but this is an example of the math riddle in Alice in Wonderland (you can skip this part if it's too much. I just want to show you) :

In the chapter of "Advice from Caterpillar", Alice has fallen down the rabbit hole and eaten a cake that has shrunk her to a height of just 3 inches. The Caterpillar enters, smoking a hookah pipe, and shows Alice a mushroom that can restore her to her proper size. But one side of the mushroom stretches her neck, while another shrinks her torso, so she must eat exactly the right balance to regain her proper size and proportions. The word "hookah" is of Arabic origin, like "algebra", and the original Arabic term for algebra, widely known and used in the mathematical community in Carroll's time, was al jebr e al mokabala or "restoration and reduction" - which exactly describes Alice's experience. It's Carroll's view of the absurdity of symbolic algebra.

The reason why I strongly believe Crowley is/was the one who looped/rewind the time is because I suspect he is the Mad Hatter. I have always been drawing him based on this thoughts in my mind and of course it's not without reason. Every scenes in Alice in Wonderland contains riddles in it and most of them goes by math logic. And from all of those riddles, the "A Mad Tea Party" from Alice in Wonderland and "Wool and Water" from Through The Looking Glass are the only scenes that tells time in wonderland specifically that made Alice realizes time in Wonderland goes differently from her own world.

In one interview, Yana said it herself that she learned so much from Lewis Carroll's style of story telling. Carroll's background in Math and his interest in literatures allowed him to criticize ideas at that time through his Wonderland stories. This is what his story telling style is like when he made "Alice in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass". Doing analysis on Dire Crowley means that I should solve the riddle first and then do an actual analysis on him.

Now you know that Alice in Wonderland is about Math, so from this onwards, I'm going to do explanation how to solve the riddle while also explaining about Crowley along the way

Note : I'm not a Mathematician nor a Physician so there might be other things that I have no idea about but I'll do my best to explain the math riddle to you...

Mad Hatter and His Relation to Time

-Time for a T-Party : "A Mad Tea Party"- (Alice in Wonderland)

“It began with the tea,” the Hatter replied.

“Of course twinkling begins with a T!” said the King sharply. “Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!”

When you read "Tea Party" it sounds the same as "T-Party". "T" is the math symbol of "Time" in mathematics. At the time when Alice in Wonderland was written and published, a mathematician, Sir William Rowan Hamilton (1805–1865) invented "quaternion", a four dimensional extension to complex number that also represent rotations and orientation happening to the four dimensional object in three dimensional space.

To put it simply, quaternion is a four number system in mathematics that shows what happened to 3D objects if they are in timespace (4th dimension)

Note :

To make it easier to understand :

...-2.5,-2,-1, 0, 1, 2, 2.5...-> is real number

3.14 + 1.59i -> is complex number

3.23 + 8.46i + 2.64j + 3.38k -> is quaternion

The 1st dimension that represented by real numbers system is line.

The 2nd dimension that represented by complex number system are two-dimensional shapes (ex : rectangle, trapezoid)

The 3rd dimension that represented by adding one more imaginary dimension are three-dimensional shapes (ex : sphere, cube)

The 4th dimension that represented by adding two more imaginary dimension to complex number is timespace.

Quaternion is a four number system in the form of

q = a + bi + cj + dk

Where a , b , c , d are real numbers and i , j , k are "imaginary" unit hence why quaternion is also called "imaginary mathematics".

In Crowley's voice clip, he said :

Not only "imagination" is the key to use magic in Twisted Wonderland, this "imagination" might have relevance to something else as well but I'll skip this part for now and will explain it later in the last part. Just remember that this "imagination" is the key word to this theory and will guide you when you read further.

In 3D, 3 dimensional consist of 3 axis : length, width, and depth. In 4D, there's a fourth axis : Time.

Hamilton spent much of his life seeking a three-dimensional number system analogous to the complex numbers. He added two imaginary dimensions, (2.64j)and (3.38k) to the complex number (3.23 + 8.46i). Three imaginary dimensions describing spaces, and the real numbers sitting perpendicular to that in some kind of fourth dimension.

Hamilton said, if you take this time parameter out of these numbers, then the numbers would just keep rotating around － they won't go anywhere, like the characters rotating round and round the tea party, round and round the table.

“Ah! that accounts for it,” said the Hatter. “He won’t stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he’d do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o’clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you’d only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!”

(“I only wish it was,” the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.)

“That would be grand, certainly,” said Alice thoughtfully: “but then—I shouldn’t be hungry for it, you know.”

“Not at first, perhaps,” said the Hatter: “but you could keep it to half-past one as long as you liked.”

“Is that the way you manage?” Alice asked.

The Hatter shook his head mournfully. “Not I!” he replied. “We quarrelled last March—just before he went mad, you know—” (pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) “—it was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing

‘Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!

How I wonder what you’re at!’

You know the song, perhaps?”

“I’ve heard something like it,” said Alice.

“It goes on, you know,” the Hatter continued, “in this way:—

‘Up above the world you fly,

Like a tea-tray in the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle—’”

Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep “Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle—” and went on so long that they had to pinch it to make it stop.

“Well, I’d hardly finished the first verse,” said the Hatter, “when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, ‘He’s murdering the time! Off with his head!’”

“How dreadfully savage!” exclaimed Alice.

“And ever since that,” the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, “he won’t do a thing I ask! It’s always six o’clock now.”

A bright idea came into Alice’s head. “Is that the reason so many tea-things are put out here?” she asked.

“Yes, that’s it,” said the Hatter with a sigh: “it’s always tea-time, and we’ve no time to wash the things between whiles.”

“Then you keep moving round, I suppose?” said Alice.

“Exactly so,” said the Hatter: “as the things get used up.”

“But what happens when you come to the beginning again?” Alice ventured to ask.

“Suppose we change the subject,” the March Hare interrupted, yawning. “I’m getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.”

Related to this scene, Hatter, Hare and Dormouse represent three terms of a quaternion, and the fourth term, Time, is absent because Hatter was upsetting the Time. Time won't allow those three to move past tea time and they can only move round the table in a loop, just like Hamilton attempts to calculate motion before the 4th dimension of time was added.

- Wool and Water - (Through the Looking Glass)

‘That’s the effect of living backwards,’ the Queen said kindly: ‘it always makes one a little giddy at first—’

‘Living backwards!’ Alice repeated in great astonishment. ‘I never heard of such a thing!’

‘—but there’s one great advantage in it, that one’s memory works both ways.’

‘I’m sure mine only works one way,’ Alice remarked. ‘I can’t remember things before they happen.’

‘It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,’ the Queen remarked.

‘What sort of things do you remember best?’ Alice ventured to ask.

‘Oh, things that happened the week after next,’ the Queen replied in a careless tone. ‘For instance, now,’ she went on, sticking a large piece of plaster on her finger as she spoke, ‘there’s the King’s Messenger. He’s in prison now, being punished: and the trial doesn’t even begin till next Wednesday: and of course the crime comes last of all.’

‘Suppose he never commits the crime?’ said Alice.

‘That would be all the better, wouldn’t it?’ the Queen said, as she bound the plaster round her finger with a bit of ribbon.

Alice felt there was no denying that. ‘Of course it would be all the better,’ she said: ‘but it wouldn’t be all the better his being punished.’

‘You’re wrong there, at any rate,’ said the Queen: ‘were you ever punished?’

‘Only for faults,’ said Alice.

‘And you were all the better for it, I know!’ the Queen said triumphantly.

‘Yes, but then I had done the things I was punished for,’ said Alice: ‘that makes all the difference.’

‘But if you hadn’t done them,’ the Queen said, ‘that would have been better still; better, and better, and better!’ Her voice went higher with each ‘better,’ till it got quite to a squeak at last.

Alice was just beginning to say ‘There’s a mistake somewhere—,’ when the Queen began screaming so loud that she had to leave the sentence unfinished. ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ shouted the Queen, shaking her hand about as if she wanted to shake it off. ‘My finger’s bleeding! Oh, oh, oh, oh!’

Her screams were so exactly like the whistle of a steam-engine, that Alice had to hold both her hands over her ears.

‘What is the matter?’ she said, as soon as there was a chance of making herself heard. ‘Have you pricked your finger?’

‘I haven’t pricked it yet,’ the Queen said, ‘but I soon shall—oh, oh, oh!’

‘When do you expect to do it?’ Alice asked, feeling very much inclined to laugh.

‘When I fasten my shawl again,’ the poor Queen groaned out: ‘the brooch will come undone directly. Oh, oh!’ As she said the words the brooch flew open, and the Queen clutched wildly at it, and tried to clasp it again.

‘Take care!’ cried Alice. ‘You’re holding it all crooked!’ And she caught at the brooch; but it was too late: the pin had slipped, and the Queen had pricked her finger.

‘That accounts for the bleeding, you see,’ she said to Alice with a smile. ‘Now you understand the way things happen here.’

The Wool and Water chapter from "Through the Looking Glass" is another chapter that gives a hint to Alice about time, particularly how time in the mirror world goes (it's moving backwards). Similar to how "A Mad Tea-Party" chapter in "Alice in Wonderland" does.

This chapter also mentioned the "King's Messenger" who is in prison and is being punished, which later in chapter "The Lion and The Unicorn" turns out to be "Hatta", the "Hatter" in "Through The Looking Glass" (and he is still drinking tea just like the "Hatter" in "Alice in Wonderland"). This chapter is the first time where Hatter (now Hatta) being mentioned in "Through The Looking Glass".

Mad Hatter, Crow, and Raven : The Key to Time is the Corvid

The first thing Hatter said when he met Alice for the first time was :

“Why is a raven like a writing desk?”

Carroll said, all the riddles in his books aren't actually meant to be solved therefore he never gave an answer to it for the readers of his works. But interestingly later, from all of his riddles this one riddle became the only riddle that has an answer from Carroll himself since his readers were so persistent. Here's what he said :

Enquiries have been so often addressed to me, as to whether any answer to the Hatter's Riddle can be imagined, that I may as well put on record here what seems to me to be a fairly appropriate answer, viz:

'Because it can produce a few notes, tho they are very flat; and it is nevar put with the wrong end in front!' This, however, is merely an afterthought; the Riddle, as originally invented, had no answer at all.

He wasn't actually giving the answer, but he was giving a hint on how to solve the riddle by ourself.

The answer to the riddle is like his other poem riddles where each sentence has a single word meaning – a charade.

'Because it can produce a few notes, tho they are very flat;'

This first sentence in a single word describes a ‘letter’.

'and it is nevar put with the wrong end in front!'

The second sentence in a single word is simply ‘backwards’.

The word ‘Letter’ has a double meaning of one you send in the post or one in the alphabet.

When you read the letters in the word "nevar" in backwards, it will be "raven"

This answer related to Hatter's riddle on Carroll's first publication had never intentionally misspelt with a letter ‘a’ which is Raven spelt with the wrong end in front. He was describing the word ‘backwards’ in his second sentence just like his other charade poems.

Carroll is good at saying something with double meanings so the hint doesn't end there in the charade just like that. The second sentence, when you read the sentence just as it is 'and it is nevar put with the wrong end in front!' with your focus on the word "nevar" means that "The wrong end in front isn't the same as the end in back"

This refers to the order of multiplication in quaternion which is non-commutative. Quaternion represents rotations and orientation happening to the four dimensional object in three dimensional space. Swapping the order on how you do the multiplication will changes the answer.

If you do the multiplication clockwise, it will gives you positive answer : i x j = k

If you do the multiplication counter-clockwise, it will gives you negative answer : j x i = -k

Hence in quaternion i x j is not the same as j x i

( i x j ≠ j x i )

This non-commutative order of multiplication in quaternion later implied by what Hatter said after he asked the riddle to Alice.

“Not the same thing a bit!” said the Hatter. “You might just as well say that ‘I see what I eat’ is the same thing as ‘I eat what I see’!”

“You might just as well say,” added the March Hare, “that ‘I like what I get’ is the same thing as ‘I get what I like’!”

“You might just as well say,” added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, “that ‘I breathe when I sleep’ is the same thing as ‘I sleep when I breathe’!”

“It is the same thing with you,” said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn’t much.

Additionally, in "Through The Looking Glass" (the scene in 'Wool and Water') where Alice finally realized how the time goes in the world behind the mirror was happened when a giant crow covered the sky so it feels like it's nighttime, and the crow goes away after White Queen explained how time goes in through the looking glass.

By this time it was getting light. ‘The crow must have flown away, I think,’ said Alice: ‘I’m so glad it’s gone. I thought it was the night coming on.’

The giant crow appeared at the last part of the previous chapter of Wool and Water, 'Tweedledum and Tweedledee'

It was getting dark so suddenly that Alice thought there must be a thunderstorm coming on. ‘What a thick black cloud that is!’ she said. ‘And how fast it comes! Why, I do believe it’s got wings!’

‘It’s the crow!’ Tweedledum cried out in a shrill voice of alarm: and the two brothers took to their heels and were out of sight in a moment.

Alice ran a little way into the wood, and stopped under a large tree. ‘It can never get at me here,’ she thought: ‘it’s far too large to squeeze itself in among the trees. But I wish it wouldn’t flap its wings so—it makes quite a hurricane in the wood—here’s somebody’s shawl being blown away!’

In 'Wool and Water' White Queen said to Alice:

‘I’m sure I’ll take you with pleasure!’ the Queen said. ‘Twopence a week, and jam every other day.’

Alice couldn’t help laughing, as she said, ‘I don’t want you to hire me—and I don’t care for jam.’

‘It’s very good jam,’ said the Queen.

‘Well, I don’t want any to-day, at any rate.’

‘You couldn’t have it if you did want it,’ the Queen said. ‘The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday—but never jam to-day.’

‘It must come sometimes to “jam to-day,”’ Alice objected.

‘No, it can’t,’ said the Queen. ‘It’s jam every other day: to-day isn’t any other day, you know.’

‘I don’t understand you,’ said Alice. ‘It’s dreadfully confusing!’

‘That’s the effect of living backwards,’ the Queen said kindly: ‘it always makes one a little giddy at first—’

She said 'That's the effect of living backwards'

If we look back at "A Mad Tea Party" from Alice in Wonderland, these chapter are related to each other and those are :

‘Twopence a week, and jam every other day.’

The King’s Messenger (Hatta) who was in prison and being punished when this dialogue happened, White Queen said his trial doesn’t even begin till next Wednesday. Wednesday is the 3rd day of the week. If you multiply twopence by 3, you'll get 6 pence, which can be refered to the cost of the Hatter's hat, the price tag on the hat he wears. 10 shillings, 6 pence (10/6)

‘No, it can’t,’ said the Queen. ‘It’s jam every other day: to-day isn’t any other day, you know.’

The word 'jam' in english can also means 'stuck'. And in addition to the 6 in sixpence and how the White Queen talks about the King's messenger who is in prison afterwards, this is referring to the Hatter in 'Alice in Wonderland' who is stuck in time and becomes the prisoner of time, since he can't move past 6 o’clock (tea time)

And then the 'to-day isn’t any other day' part once again refers to the order of multiplication in quaternion which is non-commutative.

Interestingly In chapter 6 of twst, Crowley also get "arrested" to the Island of Woe along with overblot students and got stuck there. He is helpless and can't do anything about it. Just like Hatter in mad tea party and when Hatta is imprisoned.

Crowley's name, "Dire Crowley" was formed from the wordplay of Japanese katakana just like how Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass are full of wordplay. When being translated to Japanese, his name becomes

" ディア・クロウリ"

read : "Dia Kurouri"

Crowley's first name, Dire, has been retconned to be pronounced as "Dia" for katakana wordplay that makes it extremely similar to "Diablo", the name of Maleficient's raven in Sleeping Beauty when being read.

ディアブロ = Diaboro (Diablo)

ディアクロ = Dia Kuro

The riddle "Raven like a writing desk", particularly the word "Raven" is the key that refers to the never-ending mad tea party. Is this why Crowley always says he is kind because the collective name for Ravens is an Unkindness which is also Hatter's personal remarks about Alice's hair?

The name "Dire Crowley" also contains the word "Crow" in it. In addition to the crow being a hint in Through The Looking Glass that refers back to the Mad Tea Party, in the chapter of "A Mad Tea Party" from Alice in Wonderland, Hatter said :

“Well, I’d hardly finished the first verse,” said the Hatter, “when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, ‘He’s murdering the time! Off with his head!’”

Here the Hatter was being accused of 'murdering' the Time rather than just killing time, and hence the tea party being stopped at tea time. You know what is the collective noun for Crows? That's right, a murder of Crows.

Seeing how his name can form both "Crow" and "Raven", the key answer to the Mad Hatter riddle that relates to time and 4th dimension means that the key to another dimension (which also means a way for Yuu to go back home) is actually Crowley himself.

All this time, it's not that he doesn't know how to send Yuu back home and doesn't want to find a way for Yuu to go back. He knows from the very beginning ever since Yuu came to Twisted Wonderland because it was Crowley himself who summoned them. There's really no need for him to search a way for Yuu to go back to their world because he already knows. But just like every unique magic which has their own condition to work and its limitations no matter how powerful it is, Crowley's unique magic also has its limitations and can only be done in certain condition, which I'm going to explain later.

Also, if you didn't skip anything when you read this part, you will notice that Hatter/Hatta seems to always has trouble with laws. Just like Crowley does.

Crowley and His Connection to Blot : Mad Hatter Disease

The idiom “mad as a hatter” was around long before Carroll started writing. Colloquially used to describe an eccentric person, “mad as a hatter” is based on a problem that arose in the 1800s when hat companies used mercury in the hat-making process. The mercury got into their systems and they went insane, hence the term “mad as a hatter”.

The real milliners (hatters) in the old days used mercury at cluing the felt in hats making. During that process some of that mercury vaporized and the felt maker/ milliner accidently breathed some of that. And when they were exposed to mercury for many years it really started affecting them: skin began to pale down, nails began to gain some "yellowish" color, hair started to become fuzzy. Even pupils could become dilated. This is what later is called "Mad Hatter Syndrome/Disease"

The effect of Mercury on human bodies seems to be similar with overblot in Twisted Wonderland, since those who are overbloting will have change in their appearance (skin began to pale down), changes in behaviour and goes insane.

When this theory is written, we still don't know whether Lilia's magic is depleted because of old age or something else, but if it's because of old age, why does Crowley can still use magic in game (refer to Ortho's R vignette) while it seems like he is at the same age as Lilia or maybe even older?

Paler skin is one of the change in appearance for those who are overbloting. The fact that Crowley's skin tone is paler than even for normal faes (his skin shade is more of grayish rather than brownish when being compared to Malleus and Lilia) means that he might have been exposed to blot for a very long time just like the hatter in 1800s.

There're two possibilities why Crowley covers upper half of his face:

1. He is immortal.

This refers to Mad Hatter when he sings at the great concert given by Queen of Hearts and later accused for murdering the time by her. He should have been beheaded at that time, but somehow managed to escape and still alive and later having tea party with March Hare and Dormouse and can't move from there.

In "A Mad Tea Party" (chapter 7 of Alice in Wonderland) :

“Well, I’d hardly finished the first verse,” said the Hatter, “when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, ‘He’s murdering the time! Off with his head!’”

And in "Who Stole The Tarts" (chapter 11 of Alice in Wonderland) :

All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the officers of the court, “Bring me the list of the singers in the last concert!” on which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.

2. It really is just my guess but if Crowley's magic has been depleted a long time ago just like Lilia, what if, the reason why even until now he can still uses magic is because he reuses magic excess, blot to perform magic and constantly poisoning himself with it just like hatters in 1800s?

As Mad Hatter, he might have immunity to blot just like Idia with his burning hair (his body can burn and cleanse blot) that it won't affect his mental state because his logic is already beyond comprehension and thus, technically he can't overblot (that's why he doesn't have phantom with him) since he is already "mad" even before he poisoned himself. But even though the blot doesn't affect his mental state, it still affects his body and his body starts to resemble those who overblot. His skin becomes paler, his lips turns black, and blot mark appears around his eyes so that he will need to cover it to hide it. That would also explain why in the prologue when he brought Yuu to Twisted Wonderland he says he is running out of time because his body is already at its limit.

Below is the explanation of blot by Crowley :

And explanation by Idia indicating that blot is a toxic substance.

Yeah, I know this is not the only explanation from Idia about blot. I chose this one for this part because even though I want to explain further since there's still something more about Crowley I need to explain, Tumblr decided to say no as I can't upload more photos(already reaching its limit). I want to explain my personal opinion about Crowley's intention based on my endless research on him for years but I guess this is it.

End Note : Originally I intended to explain it in one go and finish it all here in this part because it still connected to each other but I guess I'll still need to split it into two parts. I promise I'll explain the rest on the last part of this theory/analysis. Besides I'm afraid I might really break your brain if I do explain it all in one go so this is all for now.

[neerons]

Hi! I'd like to know your opinion on one of my expectations for Kazuomi's next season. I have a question for you too ☺️

**Spoilers alert : I talk a little about Kei and Yuzu's past stories**

In the near future, Kazuomi will definitely reveal his true self to the MC, but I also want her to have some deductions about the truth he's hiding (his past and his real feelings). The MC has a really good intuition, and she likes to investigate. So I don't want her to only wait for him to share his feelings and do nothing. I want her to show Kazuomi and let him know that he can actually talk to her and be vulnerable around her. Because she will always be by his side and love him no matter what. Kazuomi has always been here when the MC was feeling down and lost. This time, it's Kazuomi who needs help, even though he thinks otherwise.

I want to see more sweet moments between these two lovers. More importantly, I don't want Kazuomi to still feel lonely and to not feel understood. It means the world to him that the MC respects his boundaries and understands him like no one else did. Therefore, I hope the MC won't be too passive in the next stories and that she will try to find the truth by herself, to help and truly understand Kazuomi. You know, similar to Kei and Yuzu's stories. I'm aware that Kazuomi has a different writer, but I want his story to be as well-written as Kei and Yuzu's stories. In fact, Kazuomi is a complex character who needs good development.

When it comes to the past, he is, among the 3S, the one who keeps chasing his past. **Spoilers : We know that Kei unconsciously erased his past in order to protect himself from his trauma. For Yuzu, he chose to abandon his little brother in order to have a better future, and he doesn't regret his choice. However, he feels guilty as he still cares for his brother.**

On the other hand, Kazuomi claims to not care about the past and says that the present is more important to him. We now know it's not the case. He wants to forget his past and so, he tries to be someone who lives in the present, but it's only a mask. Like I said in a previous comment, his past still haunts him today and he can't deny it. (I don't know if you read Jujutsu Kaisen, but Kazuomi's issue with his past kind of reminds me of Gojo Satoru's story)

Furthermore, if we analyse Kazuomi's character, we can see that most of the things he does are related to his past. For example, his dream to open a resort, the meaning of Christmas for him, his love for games and gambling (in addition to the anticipation and the mental thrill of not knowing the outcome because of all the different possibilities), his love for sweets and desserts, his feeling of loneliness and his struggle to really trust others (sometimes he can be emotionally detached), etc. That's why his upcoming stories must be well-written because Kazuomi is the character who needs to confront his past the most. I know you'll post a detailed analysis of the characters from MK, so I can't wait to read it!

Of course, all of the things I've written will happen depending on the plot for his upcoming season. Someone of Kazuomi's past life will most likely appear too (similar to Kei and Yuzu's stories). Who do you think it could be, and why?

I'm sorry I wrote a lot haha. Thanks for reading until the end! ❤️

Heya 🥰

Kazuomi's Cryptic Past

As of now, we can only interpret how things will go since we don't know what happened to him other than his family basically betrayed him. He lost everything. He felt lonely and not loved. He became homeless. He hates his father more than anyone, too, it seems.

I totally agree that Kazuomi needs to rely on others, especially MC, about his past. We should be able to see that soon once his next season is released.

Maybe the MC will have her own deductions from his past and play an active role in discovering it for herself, or maybe she'll actually decide to keep those deductions to herself and let Kazuomi reveal it to her, out of consideration and love for him.

When it comes to Kazuomi, he knows that MC is there for him. He's already aware of that, deep down. As you said, he also appreciates that she doesn't push him for answers and revelations about his past.

In his mind, he already sees her as the woman of his life. The only one who could understand him that well, and not press him for answers. She's irreplaceable to him.

But Kazuomi is also someone who has been betrayed before. Especially by his father, and by women, especially his "mother". The story with his "mother" was vague but it seemed to have had a huge impact on him, and I don't know exactly what she did, but it's clear he was incredibly hurt by this woman. In the end, he didn't feel truly loved by her.

So it makes sense that he might not completely feel ready to be weak in front of someone again, even if it's the love of his life. He doesn't want to be weak in front of her and have her pity him, even if she's not like that.

Due to that, I assume, he often tests MC along his seasons to see how much of him she is willing to accept, and she always accepts him and loves him more, which in turn makes him love her even more, and it shows us how far their love can go (it's infinite, I'm telling you 🥰)

So this next step is, I think, going to be Kazuomi finally revealing his past in his next big MS and see how MC will react to the "real Kazuomi" and if she's still going to love him.

It's possible that the real Kazuomi is, at least according to him, pathetic, naive and weak. Or maybe it's a side of him more cruel than what he has shown her before.

Deep down, I think he's scared of what she'll think of him, and he hopes she'll accept him despite his many flaws. But he's also convinced "forever" doesn't exist, and that even their relationship might be a fleeting one.

He is currently in a philosophical conflict. He wants her by his side, wants her to know everything, but at what cost? Will she eventually leave once she knows? Will Kazuomi risk losing his life in a new gamble, and he'll have to say farewell to her?

I expect the MC to once again show him she loves him just as he is, because he is him, the man she loves, which will probably surprise and touch Kazuomi's heart way more than anyone ever could. And he'll realize and have the confirmation that he doesn't need anything but her.

MC's Personality & Love for Kazuomi

As for her, she is aware that he doesn't want to talk about his past, and she saw it when he became surprisingly silent when he was affected by memories of his past in the R&C event.

Despite her agent side, curiosity and love for investigation, we often overlook that the MC is a woman respectful enough to not poke her nose where she feels it doesn't belong.

She loves Kazuomi so much and is worried about him, rightfully so, but she doesn't want to cross a boundary without permission or consideration. She'd love for him to tell her about it someday, but she's waiting for him to be ready.

Him opening up on his own to her without her asking wouldn't be such a bad thing to me to be honest. I sure hope she plays a role in his story, and she will as always, but I think Kazuomi revealing his past to her would be a great depiction of his trust and love towards her.

Trust me, I love MC being badass and doing her job amazingly well and going beyond expectations. And if she does have a mission or a situation where she has to uncover his past in full detail, I hope it'll be done well too in a beautifully written story again.

The problem is: if she decides to uncover his past herself, how will he take it?

He treats his past like a highly confidential mission. It's possible that, if she gets involved into it too deeply in the end, they'll have to become foes again. And then Kazuomi will ultimately realize he wants her to know and won't stop her from knowing.

Or, if his past becomes dangerous for her, he'll feel guilty because she's now in danger because of him. We can't really know how things will turn out since we have no clues about what even happened to him before.

Possible outcomes in the next season?

I actually can see his next season going two different ways (at least):

She discovers the truth about his past through a mission (and the client could even be the antagonist). She'll have to put her feelings aside and fulfill her mission while having mixed feelings about discovering something he wanted to hide to the world and especially to her. Kazuomi might become distant as he decides to face his past alone and puts himself in danger against the antagonist, which will fuel the MC to save him

Another situation would be him opening up to her once the drama of his past (lui pète à la gueule 🤣) happens and he has to face his past forcefully because the antagonist either shamelessly reveals his past publicly, or in front of MC, or he'd just put Kazu and MC in a situation where they have to talk about it. And then, MC, and maybe even Yuzu, Kei, and others? would decide to help him out against said antagonist

No matter how it goes, I'm sure it'll be well written. I have never been disappointed honestly. I always see the reasoning behind the characters' actions which is probably why I'm never mad or sad about developments?

At least in MK, I've never been bothered by how a season has been written (except the case about the way the Boss' last season was treated, which is more of an exception, since Voltage discontinued him abruptly and left him with plot holes and left me with my HEART BROKEN GAHH)

Kazuomi's manufactured personality

It's funny that you mention Jujutsu Kaisen and especially Gojo Satoru when you talk about Kazuomi, because JJK became one of my favorite animes and mangas, and Gojo has a special place in my heart. I have started reading the manga so nobody spoils me!!

I can see the similarity between Gojo and Kazu. Their bubbly, quirky and charismatic personality hides the scars they try to run away from. It's also a distraction for them (and it helps them distract others from their vulnerability, too)

It makes them overcome their sadness, loneliness and anger as well since putting on a different mask enables you to put distance between your present self and your past self.

Like you said, It's clear that Kazuomi chases his past. He's the one character from MK who's really secretive about what happened to him, even more than Kei who runs away from a past full of trauma, more than Yuzu who fights against his emotions, and more than the Boss who is KNOWN for not being straightforward and having his emotions be "inactive", if that makes sense.

And I'm so curious and also scared to know what he's really like. Because I love the way he is now personality-wise, but I hope I'll love him even more once his mask falls for good. I also hope he'll still be his witty and fun self, but I'm sure his story will be amazing.

Who's the antagonist?

When it comes to who they'll be up against next time, considering the revelations from the Revenge & Challenge event, the only people I assume could make an appearance are Kazuomi's father, or maybe his "mother".

I don't know if they'd be the potential antagonists. It's possible that they were more victims to Kazuomi's father's dangerous relationships and got screwed. But Kazuomi resents his father a lot. I can't know how bad his father is, but he's not the purest person on Earth. It could be him.

In the Japanese app, we're also getting another event about the guys' pasts currently, so it's not unlikely that his parents will be making an appearance if they're still alive.

If it's not the parents, it's likely someone who knows about his parents, and past (and is linked to it) that we don't know about yet. Like Nate from Kei's Eden's Love story, who is an antagonist we couldn't have predicted. It could be one of the guys his father had secret meetings with. They were bad, and probably belonged to a sort of mafia (I forgot and I'm too lazy to check again I'll admit)

Conclusion (...am I writing an essay again? 🤣)

No matter how the season happens, the important thing, to me, is that Kazuomi finally learns to believe in "forever" and stabilizes himself with MC in the end. I hope he'll be able to live freely with her and that he can move on after all these years of suffering.

We should all forget our expectations for his route and just enjoy the ride when the time comes, though. In my humble opinion, we shouldn't wish for too many things, because that'd just make us closer to the end of his route, and it makes room for disappointment if something doesn't happen the way we wanted it to.

We have one of the best titles Voltage has made, and one of the best LIs, the elite among the elites, so let's appreciate the hard work behind it and see what the next season has to offer again. Personally, I know I'll love it 💖

(And thank you for your enthusiasm about the characters' analyses! They'll be separated into different posts for each character, and Yuzu will be the first to be out when the time comes I think. But I'm re reading every MS to do a good job, as well as reading Ikémen Prince and making art most of the time, so it's taking time haha)

Thank you for the ask!

[astrognossienne]

I think the issue with me is that no one knows enough about my actual life to really go in on me, so when they do go in it's based on a bunch of conjecture and unsubstantiated rumors.

I could be a lot of things but no one knows for sure, so whatever your personal guess about it is will be based on your own read on me but nothing else. People have to project onto Cancers whether as a stan, hater, or other because we have created a hard boundary between our private lives and our public lives. For some people that makes us seem shifty as in: "What is she hiding? I bet she's this that and the third behind the scenes." and those people hang on to any morsel of negative tea that drops to try to prove their theory that Cancers are secretly evil incarnate.

Or people can choose to project a positive view onto Cancers, so if they're a fan they can choose to believe that the Cancer is saintly and amazing behind the scenes or that she's really just a sweetheart who works hard, does what they have to do, gives her best and then slips back into her private life. As in: "Cancers don't bother nobody and y'all haters are deranged".

At the end of the day, no one knows and that eats people alive, for my fans they don't mind as much, but for the haters, it must be endlessly frustrating to feel you know for sure I (or other Cancers) am an awful person but never can fully prove it, and then you have seen so many other people see Cancers in a totally different way. It seems like it really bothers haters in a way that even other more transparent signs' haters don't understand. Being a Cancer hater is harder in that way, but also easier because in the absence of really knowing they can make up whatever they want, but they're cursed with never being able to prove it. I have many people I dislike, but I think disliking Cancers must suck and I think that's why our haters come off as especially bitter. I'm glad I'm a fan tbh.

Personally, I see myself as very Cancerian, meaning when I see my quest for perfection, instead of seeing someone trying to be "fake" as a hater would, I see it as compulsive and therefore more relatable like I'm neurotic about making everything just so, which is how those who are about something in life are too. When haters see me as "boring", I see myself as quiet and reserved, and therefore more relatable, like If I were super sensitive I too would be restrictive with the public, so as a fan, I see it as a good thing. However, a hater sees that same distance from the public as me not being interested in connecting with others in a bad way. When I see how I'm confident when it comes to handing my business but different outside of work, I see my "corporate badass" thing not as someone selling a "fake" image. I was a child who was way different in school and around others than I was with family and close friends, so I find it relatable that other Cancers exude this confidence that would obviously not be something they carry “off stage” in their day-to-day life---like I don't feel "duped" by that it just seems normal that someone's persona might not be who they are 24/7, I never took it as a "narrative myth" but just as a function of being a complex person, which is what Cancers are. Yet others see it differently as is evidenced by the many negative and dismissive views on Cancer zodiac sign, but the genius of Cancers' relationship with others is that we're like the moon in the sense that neither of you will ever know the truth. So you can speculate one way, and I another.

[betterbemeta]

Everyone can connect in ways that transcend boundaries, can empathize or at least jointly participate more than they think.

There are people out there who do not share your fundamental baseline for 'reality.'

Aside from being dreadful to each other, these two facts also kind of create each other. Every time you ask yourself, 'how could other people think what is happening in the world is okay?' you need to understand that somebody who has a completely different idea of what the world is like, or should be like, is thinking the same thing about you.

I'm not saying that all of these perceptions are equal. A bisexual trans teen looking at political bills that remove their human rights, is not equivalent to an US-Evangelical preacher who thinks that same teen is violating the fabric of his reality. A poor person who is just trying to survive and reads about genocide on the other side of the world on their prepaid phone is not equivalent to a lobbyist who thinks of both the poor person and 'war' in abstracts.

But when we talk about 'reactionary politics', we're not just talking about reactionary response to political decisions, but also what is reactionary to 'the reality' the decisions create. A lot of thought pieces or commentary fall flat on this concept with terms like 'economic anxiety,' or summarizing mass reactionary movements with seemingly little cohesion as 'populism' without explaining anything at all. Gawking at seemingly silly conspiracy theories or culture-war items doesn't really do anything unless it illuminates what these represent for the participants 'sense of reality.'

In Abigail Thorn's video essay, A Man Plagiarised My Work: Women, Money, and the Nation, she goes to investigate conservative thought to understand reactionary rejection of feminism and what 'role' reactionary structures expect women to play for 'the nation.' She went to Roger Scruton, author of How to Be a Conservative, for her answers and part of those answers included a description of how conservative roles for women are the backbone of reality for that point of view. That if those roles (implicitly: 'to be providers of free labor') were to change, according to him the floor falls out from underneath all laws and any baseline confidence people have. To me, the excerpts sound like Scruton is terrified of being unplugged from The Matrix.

One of the quotes Abigail pulled even described how Scruton sees 'history' as somehow changeable:

(screenshot credit to Abigail Thorn's video)

What Scruton is talking about here is not actually that history can literally be altered, like we're Marty McFly. He's talking about the perception of reality. Which CAN VARY between people or change over time: including our ability to look back on the past and contextualize it. And Scruton absolutely DOES NOT WANT to enter a reality where the facts of the past are interpreted by brains different from his own, outnumbering his own.

Even if he believes the justification for his desired reality is fundamental, he doesn't believe that reality itself is fundamental. Reality can change and vary, and therefore people MUST be brought back into his own to maintain its stability. He believes those people can connect with him, MUST connect with him, empathise with him, accept his reality. Or else they will never comply with it.

It can be hard to swallow. But not only is someone else out there thinking the game of the world is checkers and that it's a violation of them that you're spending time with mancala... on some level they already accept that actually THEY COULD play mancala too, experience connection with you... and be 'a loser' compared to you, by 'your game', 'your rules.'

"This person doesn't live in the same reality, does not comprehend 'the' order of things," is a required component to "this person is just a little less human"; it's easy to dehumanize each other. And because of the above, it's easy to fear the violence of being dehumanized, if that reality isn't broad enough to support enough people. But even then, a society and reality built on tolerance will experience the paradox of tolerance. So at least one fear reactionaries have is realistic. If their reality doesn't become dominant, they'll experience some form and degree of violence. Probably not as much violence, if they are opposing those who believe in human rights, but they won't know that. They know themselves.

You must accept that:

Full human beings out there will not see things the way you do, may not have the same underlying assumptions you have, really and truly,

AND said thinking, "this person does not comprehend the minimum requirements for civilization," has been part of every oppression in history EVEN IF we reel every day from how public figures can demonize disenfranchised refugees, or how nations could tolerate genocide,

AND that because we have empathy for other full human beings we typically believe that others COULD be brought into our own realities,

AND the way that some people want to do that, and the reality they desire, will create horrific conditions for many people that aren't a matter of perception.

[praxeus-13]

Hi, what Do you think of genderfluid/genderqueer!Thirteen? Do you have headcanons?

I HAVE SO MANY GENDER HEADCANONS ANON!!!

Firstly, a lot of my thoughts about 13’s gender have been influenced by @picnokinesis and their AUs!! They have lots of posts about 13 and gender so I would deffo recommend checking their posts out!!

Okay so I don’t see 13 as genderfluid, like as a genderfluid person myself, I definitely relate a lot more to Dh!Master and his expression of gender. Because see, 13 just doesn’t care about gender! I know a lot of people get the genderfluid 13 headcanon from that line in War of The Sontarans where she says “it’s fluid”, but I saw that line as her telling Mary Seacole that the term “Doctor” can be used for everyone and in many different ways (ie, not just for medical professionals). And possibly also as a nod to her being able to regenerate?

However, as I said, 13 just doesn’t seem to care about gender. I just don’t think it’s something she thinks about in her day to day life. And as far as I can remember (I rly need to do a rewatch) she doesn’t refer to herself as a woman unless someone else does it first. Then her response always seems to be along the lines of “ah yes, these people see me as a woman and I must reaffirm their belief in order to not arose suspicion” (which, relatable). The only times when she really does care about people referring to her as a woman is when they do it in a derogatory way (Spyfall part 1 & The Witchfinders come to mind). And then, we get a few moments where she refers to herself as a man, but I think that’s more out of habit rather than actually seeing herself as a man?

Therefore I tend to see her as agender because, as above, she just doesn’t seem to care about her gender or her gender presentation until someone wants to use it against her. She just doesn’t seem to have an attachment to gender tbh. Especially when you look at how she went to buy ‘women’s clothes’ but just found a very androgynous outfit instead. Also, while she is only referred to with she/her pronouns in the show, I think she’d be perfectly fine with people using whatever pronouns they want for her! I’m not even sure she’d notice if someone was using varied pronouns for her (especially if they used he/him, because she’s had centuries of being referred to with them).

HOWEVER! I think 13, if genuinely asked by someone, would describe herself as genderqueer. Mainly because genderqueer is used as an umbrella term by some people, as it’s not very specific and leaves room for just not knowing every aspect of your gender identity. As well, while we as a fandom do often separate The Doctor’s different regenerations, 13 does still have her previous versions’ memories (well, back to 1 at least) and would probably be at least a little bit influenced by her past feelings on gender.

So uhh TLDR: I headcanon 13 specifically as agender, but believe she would refer to herself as genderqueer! Thank you so much for this ask anon it was very fun to answer!!!!

[kafkaoftherubble]

纯属自娱。

Ada’s Relationship with F (3) Clinging

This specific topic is turning into quite a bit of a mini-series, huh? I hope you like the complexities of Part 1 and Part 2.

----

As mentioned, Ada has been lacking in social partners for years. F's presence—and the blissful joy from that Friendship Try-out day—is seen as the very thing that can plug that gaping maw she had left unfulfilled for years.

All of Ada—including the Others—wants F. He gradually becomes a desirable object. An object of power. An object to secure companionship and social resources. An object to satisfy her romantic hunger. An object providing security. An object.

Ada is possessive of F. Knowing his naivety, she deliberately tries to manipulate or influence him into depending on her more and more while making sure no one else can get a seat in his mind the way she can.

Throughout their travel, Ada constantly tricks F into using his psychic powers to get people to shower them with free food, accommodation, safe passage, and the like. An interesting cognitive dissonance soon plays out: Ada expressly doesn't want to hurt or exploit people like her ex-foster parents, the Politicians, do. F's powers allow her to exploit other people's vulnerabilities by proxy, and she gets to pretend like she has not committed any wrong comparable to her Politician parents.

F actually learns how to say what others want to hear because Ada teaches him that. He learns how to calm people down into becoming pliant because Ada teaches him that to exploit other people. F could not have become an effective cult leader, given how inert he is as someone who's still trying to grow out of being a weapon, if Ada isn't there to pave the way.

As her obsession and clinging to F intensifies, not only has F become a tool, but he has also become a property Ada believes she must shield and protect from others so that her dominance over him can remain.

Ada's not so different from LR in this regard, and F notices it. He wonders if this is all there is to his relationship with other people and is fully ready to accept it as a fact of life. After all, Ada at least masks her intentions with that cognitive dissonance, and hasn't really made F do anything similar to his old work back with LR.

Until that incident.

It's also how F starts to distance himself from Ada.

A woman has exhibited affection toward F in a way similar to how many of his cult followers later do. She extends her friendship and companionship to him, regales him with a nigh-devotional expression of adoration, shows him around the area, and professes to love him in a way that is devoid of romantic feelings but no less strong. I'm actually imagining a sub-flavor of the Kaoru type.

Ada is not pleased.

She claims that the woman is full of red flags and that she merely wants to use F. She tells F that no one could possibly, sincerely love him without knowing who he really is nor the extent of his character.

But F likes the woman enough, and though he senses passionate honesty from Ada, he cannot help but doubt her feelings—even if they are, according to his psychic power, genuine. You see, Ada herself believes in her own warning, but the Others don't. This, therefore, creates another kind of cognitive dissonance that is only possible because of Ada's fractured mind. It's how F is alerted to Ada's possible mendacity.

Still, Ada's obsession finds a way.

written at 11.30pm, July 13th, 2024. I hope you enjoy having something to read while in the car. Is this it? A cliffhanger?

[quinloki]

Ship It, Ship It Real Good (Part 3)

Okay, the mangling of Law. I have been knocking about the idea that Law would make a damn good werewolf but I don't want to pull him out of One Piece and slap him into an AU to do it. So, my brain went: CROSSOVER.

I have two or three different crossover possibilities for this to work but the one I'm liking the most is a crossover with Magic: the Gathering. I like planeswalking and the idea that a planeswalker comes into the world of One Piece (without dying first) or someone in One Piece becomes a Planeswalker and has the ride of a lifetime.

Now, I don't know how familiar you are with MtG so I'm going to err on the side of caution and presume you know D&D but not MtG. A planeswalker is someone whose Spark has ignited which grants them the ability to walk between worlds of existence. Think of each anime you watch as being a separate and unique self-contained universe set within a much larger universe that holds them all. Basically string theory. The multiverse is string theory.

Each universe is obtuse to the existence of other universes and there being a giant multiverse. The only people who are really aware are highly enlightened individuals who are probably completely or mostly immortal and of course the placeswalkers themselves. A planeswalker spark technically exists within almost everyone but very few actually get it to ignite.

For a spark to ignite the person must be put through extreme duress. For some, the death of a loved one does it for others insurmountable physical pain does it. For some it's guilt for others it's pure wickedness. But they all go through something incomprehensibly bad to get the spark to ignite.

Upon ignition, your first planeswalk occurs. You have zero control over it and you don't know where you're going to end up. You just do. Now, you have to learn how to wield the spark and how to walk through the aether (called the Blind Eternities) to get to other worlds or back to your own. Furthermore, all planeswalkers can wield magic.

Like devil fruits, the magic is unique to the planeswalker as the ignition kind of brings their magic to the foreground of their mind and body, but it was a magic that was always there—it was always a part of them. Their magic is kind of intrinsic to the person, which is unlike devil fruits.

Also unlike devil fruits, when a planeswalker dies their magic doesn't return to the fold of aether to be picked up by someone else. Sparks act like awakened souls and the magic of the planeswalker is part of their soul. When they die the spark and magic are undone.

Now, I could have Law become a planeswalker, he had plenty of experiences to trigger the spark: witnessing everyone in Flevance dying, witnessing Cora-san's murder, losing his ship and crew to Blackbeard. All three of those things could work to ignite his spark but I don't think it would. I think, a planeswalker would have to end up in the world of One Piece and have a run-in with Law.

There is a planeswalker that is a werewolf, Arlinn Kord, but she is kind and just and I don't see her willingly turning Law into a werewolf. Given recent storylines with MtG, I could finagle something with the New Phyrexian invasion and Tezzy's (Tezzeret) Planar Bridge—thus, despite Law not having a spark and therefore he shouldn't be able to walk between worlds, the Planar Bridge negates the need for the spark. Tezzy could have had a hiccup somewhere and Law could have fallen through a portal and landed in a world (Innistrad) that has werewolves, and therefore he could now find himself in a foreign world where nigh on everything eats human.

Devil fruit user or not, Law is at a gross disadvantage if he were to fall into Innistrad. Despite it being Arlinn's homeworld, she is far from the only planeswalker and far from being the only alpha wolf. She has her pack but there are plenty of other packs that would happily either eat Law outright or turn him.

In my head, I'm inventing a werewolf of epic proportions and naming him Fenrir after the wolf that eats Odin in Norse mythology. For reasons I haven't invented yet, Fenrir is the one who bites Law and ultimately turns him. Law now has the appearance of a Zoan-type devil fruit and also gives off the illusion that he has two devil fruits just like Blackbeard. But he doesn't, he just lost a good portion of his humanity is all.

The kicker? His devil fruit doesn't work in werewolf form, likewise, the side effects of his devil fruit don't work in werewolf form. So long as he's wolfed out, water and sea stone have no effect on him but he also cannot rely on his Ope-Ope fruit in the slightest. It's an either or deal.

If someone were to take Law under wing and guide him with his newfound werewolf powers, I think he should have at least two forms if not three. He should have a full blown wolf form and because people are stupid he just gets mistaken for a big black dog most of the time. Perfect way to get around in his world while avoiding the whole "I have a bounty poster" situation. He should obviously still have his regular 'ole human self and of course he should have a true-blue werewolf form. Still figuring out logistics of werewolf form but I think his third form should be a hybrid. That way, he can pass himself off as a Zoan-type user and still fly under the radar because no one will know it's Trafalgar Law. They'll just think it's a Zoan-devil fruit user with a wolf type that doesn't have a bounty poster—it allows him to maneuver more freely.

To further this mangling, I have been headcanoning him as waltzing around in his wolf form and getting adopted by someone as a guard dog. I see some rich dude picking him up from the streets and giving him a good home on the condition he protect the man's only daughter who can be anywhere from a little kid to a young adult. She of course, loves her new pet dog and takes him everywhere and showers him with affection. He only eats the best food, he gets to sleep in the bed, just the whole nine yards of being the beloved pet to this girl.

He starts off so confused but then decides to run with it and becomes very protective. No one even knows he's human until he has to really protect her and none of the wolf forms are useful because he's up against either a Marine Vice Admiral, Admiral, or a well-known pirate. He needs his devil fruit and so just like that he changes form and begins using his sword and devil fruit to protect her.

EVERYONE IS CONFUSED. Which works for him because it buys him time to grab the girl and make a run for it to safety. She's trying to process that her beloved dog is actually the Surgeon of Death and holy shit she let him into the bathroom while she bathed, holy shit Trafalgar has seen her naked, holy shit holy shit holy shit....

The Marines/Pirates are trying to figure out how Law can handle two devil fruits and when the hell did he get his hands on a Zoan fruit anyway? Even more confusing if there is a wolf-user already, like, is that other dude alive or did Law kill him for his fruit?

Law meanwhile is trying really hard to explain himself to the girl whose mind is still fritzing over all the awkward situations Law has witnessed and Law is desperately trying to convince her that he didn't see anything.

So yeah, that's what my brain has been doing to Law lately.

I have few words for this except, yes. Yes please. I need this - not just for canonically screwing with the marines and having Law be a werewolf in the canon world, but also like, THAT REVEAL.

That's the best. /nod nod/

Interestingly, I do know a good bit of MtG lore \o/ But I appreciate you laying it out like that. My spouse is a huge fan, and I get a lot of knowledge about the game second-hand. I've played a bit too, but I'm not nearly as invested. (Whenever I don't understand why some bit of flavor text is cool I usually get 20-30 minutes of "okay so," and I love it xD even if I struggle to retain it.)

I do LOVE the balance of cannot use DF as wolf, cannot drown as wolf. Being able to save ones self by transforming would be hella handy.

I cackled at the idea of him guarding her while she's bathing and he's pointedly not looking, and if dogs could blush he would be, and it's great that his hearing is so much better because he can at least keep an ear out for anything concerning while his eyes are shut.

Ship it Good ask game

[kimmimaru]

Ok, so I love horror. I'm obsessed with it. I honestly don't know why I don't actually write much of it though, I think its because I don't think I'm very good at it lol. One of my fave authors is Stephen King, the man is a genius but he churns out books so fast I can't keep up and only have so much shelf space, sadly lol. Has anyone else read Doctor Sleep? That shit was brilliant, my fave is IT but Doctor Sleep is defo a close second. Very long, nonsensical ramble under the cut about Hojo, Vincent and Lucrecia:

But anyways, I'm doing a couple of little horror fics for Halloween, they're doing alright I suppose. Not particularly ground breaking or anything but they're ok. The fics are, of course, FF7 fics and both revolve somewhat around Hojo. I don't know, I find him one of the scariest characters. He's terrifying, especially in the OG. Not exactly sure what it is about him specifically that scares me more than other characters, because like, Sephiroth is the main 'bad guy' in the story but Hojo's just creepy. Like if I met someone like him irl he would be giving off all the red flags. You know there's just some people who just give you the creeps, even if they're a total stranger? Like every cell in your body is just telling you RED ALERT? That's Hojo for me lol. Maybe its because Sephiroth's motivations are somewhat understandable, he loses his mind because he finds out he's not human and his entire life probably wasn't good. I can understand that, I too sometimes look at all the horrific shit humanity has done and wonder if its even worth keeping us around you know? But Hojo, at least as far as I'm aware, isn't really given any other motivations other than 'because I can' or 'I want to see what happens' and to me that's creepy. Not to mention that in the OG he does kind of try to make Aerith...do stuff...with Red 13...which uh...no. No absolutely not. Lol. Also...why the fuck is he considered so attractive in the OG? He doesn't just manage to lure Lucrecia away from Vincent 'my ass looks great in leather' (just trust me and pause AC at the moment Vincent crouches before jumping into the air to attack Bahamut SIN and try and tell me it doesn't lol) Valentine but also somehow manages to attract a whole gaggle of bikini-clad women on the beach in Costa Del Sol. HOW?? Ok, so I can sort of see how Lucrecia could have agreed to carry Hojo's baby, its probably because she's a scientist too and was also interested in the results or whatever...but still, lady...please wtf were you thinking? At least the beach-goers have the excuse of not knowing Hojo, Lucrecia does not have that lol. How can she spend god knows how long around Hojo and not think; this man is a creep? Honestly I would kind of be interested in seeing something about how all that happened, was he acting different around her? Was she just blinded by the curiosity of the experiment? Was it simply due to the fact that he was the only other man in the mansion when she freaked out about Vincent and her history with his father?

I think maybe that's why I don't write anything much about Lucrecia, I just can't get into her head. I don't understand her at all. To me, not a lot of her choices make any sense. Her actions feel weird and illogical and I'm not sure if its just me being autistic about it, or if I'm missing something in the story or what. But going from 'I love Vincent Valentine' to 'oh no I feel guilty because of Vincent's father's death therefore I must dump him and go with Mr Creeps over here'. Because that's not going to make him feel a billion times worse than just...I don't know, explaining why you're worried and talking shit out? And then sticking the monster that actively killed his father INSIDE him. Its fucking weird. (and then you have Vincent's own weird ass guilt, its non-sensical to blame himself for HER decisions. The whole story is just a giant shit show lol). Does this make any sense? I don't know. I had some Thoughts and needed to write them down. Ugh.

[straycatboogie]

2023/05/29 English

BGM: Phil Collins - Both Sides Of The Story

Today I worked late. This morning I enjoyed chatting a little in English on clubhouse. After that, I went to AEON and thought about an idea in my mind. It's about the "responsibility" (we Japanese sometimes use this as the "Jiko Sekinin", which means "responsibility for oneself"). As you know, this concept can work severely to one's life. We have to think about our lives as the results we have done, therefore we are the ones who have to owe the responsibilities completely to our lives... Indeed, that attitude is important. For example, I have been working at the current company. That is a choice I have been making. So I have to owe the responsibility towards to my working because I can quit it anytime if I hate it. Therefore, I have to work without any complaints... I can feel that severe pressure. I can remember that I have been taught as "Quit that job soon" or "Live separately from your parents". But I couldn't have chose them... is it because of my choices?

From my point of view, I have never quit my job because I have not had anything to do except that job. I couldn't be a unemployed one (we Japanese say that as a NEET). And I have never abandoned my parents because they were too old to live alone by themselves. And also I had no money simply. From those reasons, I have lived this life even if I could choose any "alternative" ways to live. That might be a life. In other words, we can't say that everything must be from one's choices easily. We should do what we do following/concerning what can be the best to do within the limits. And that life can be controlled by uncertain things. Chances would work as factors which control the lives. Me, I can never say that it is from my choice completely to learn English with an interest. Indeed, once I had an interest in translation in English. But I have to say that learning English literature or connecting myself with various friends internationally are forming the current life of mine. In other words, it is by random chances.

Then we have to concern about the difference between the sceneries. The one the person is watching can be different from the one from me. Not judging from my side clearly, but trying to be someone with imagining his/her stage. That tells us how important to try to overcome the "separation"... And this "separation" must be an important keyword. As I wrote yesterday, I should try to understand different religious people like Muslim. And also trying to think about the foreigners in my town. Accepting them with tolerance instead of blaming them. By the way, how enigmatic our lives are! Me, I am just a weird autistic person therefore beyond their understanding. I am just living based on my policy, but they would think that I am just a monster who speaks English. How should I face that "separation"?

I finished reading Maria Ressa's book, a journalist from the Philippines. "How to Stand Up to a Dictator". It is really an interesting book which tells us the fighting spirit she have. That has enabled her to create the way of journalism in her country Philippines. Like George Orwell's "1984", the history can be rewritten by the establishment easily. And also there are also a lot of pieces of fake news... How can I survive such a terrible situation? She blames Facebook so severely, and it makes me impressed. About me, I have enjoyed reading like this certainly. This is because I want to try to see/judge the essences without being dazed by fake. How to overcome the confusion and misunderstanding because of fake? How to overcome the "separation"? This suggests me that everything I am thinking is connected loosely. Of course, I can't understand someone else completely. But I also believe that it shouldn't be actual to abandon that someone. It can be dangerous.

[dulcewrites]

Hey, we know from the show that Aemond’s mother is quite religious and since Aemond is very devoted to her and probably learnt a lot about the faith of the seven that most in the fandom seem to interpret as westerosy’s Christianity. How do you think (both for the modern and period au) has that impacted his idea of relationships and what one must do for the person one loves? Is that somehow reflected in his love language and the way he shows affection?

Well, like you said I view Aemond’s piety as an extension of his mother. Because of that, his views on religion would trickle down from her. The question would be: has Alicent’s views on religion changed in a different setting

In hotd, we see Alicent as pious for several reasons. 1. She is supposed the ‘uptight’ opposite of the targs (who the writers want you to root for). 2. She is from Oldtown, which used to hold the seat of the high septon of the faith. And 3. She uses it as a means of repentance (hence her renewing her faith post driftmark to rid herself of guilt). Would Alicent seek such comfort in religion if she was not in the extremely volatile environment she was put in?

Small tangent but it’s eye rolling when people (mainly team black) try to act as if Alicent is some religious zealot when she’s honestly just as religious as any other noble woman in her position. Nothing about what she does it out of the ordinary. She prays and changes some decor lmao

Now this translates to a modern Alicent that to me is your your average church goer. Depending on otto and her mother (who people theorize was the more religious of the two), she probably grew up going to church regularly. So in turn, that would probably past onto the kids when they were young. Especially if it the same idea of her essentially raising them herself is in this universe too. Once the kids grow up, and venture out on their own, they’d have to make their own decisions on what said religion means to them.

I personally don’t see this affecting Aemond much tbh, especially in a modern setting. The only way I could see it truly affecting his life is maybe in a modern Royal setting. Only bc royals are normally either seen as ordained by god and or heads of the church themselves. Therefore expected to follow certain about rules about things like divorce etc. But that is all pretty archaic thinking imo.

I see Aemond’s ideals in partnership or how it manifest in his love languages as extensions of his family issues/dynamics versus religion. Though I do have this scene in life with you planned out (semi written) between Aemond and Alicent post myrah giving birth to Baelor and being sick. Takes place in the Sept and sort of explore a grapple a lot of people have about religion. The idea of praying, but feeling like no one is actually out there. He asks the age old question if “if the faith is benevolent, why has our lives been so shit??”

This is so long winded sorry. But long story short, I only see religion affecting hotd Aemond if he do leaned into it as a means of salvation, like his mother, versus a thing to appease someone else (a surface level reason to). If after his father’s neglect or the brothel incident, he turned to faith. But so far I only get the vibe he does it for his mom, therefore it doesn’t really affect him outside being dutiful. Though the dutifulness does express itself in the way he loves. He is an action driven person and his love manifest that way

[charmanderxerneas]

sorry this is just me, person with abnormal gender experience, ranting ^^”

Let’s have a little ramble about gender and pronouns ^w^ ^w^ specifically: How annoying it can be when people assume things about you and your gender and pronouns instead of just asking.

For example:

-Assuming pronouns equate gender. “This person uses they/them pronouns so they Must be nonbinary. or This person uses she/her pronouns so they must be female” This is not always the case! people can have different pronouns that aren’t necessarily traditionally associated with how society sees their gender.

-Related to that last point, people like to make dumb discourse and argue about which pronouns are “acceptable” to use with which pronouns. Please know that if you see anyone arguing over whether or not “he/him lesbians are valid” “can you be a bi lesbian?” or “are neopronouns valid?” or some similar shit: that is a terf or a cop or some shit trying to provoke the community into bad faith arguments while distracting from actual issues! All it does is turn people against each other when at the end of the day: What labels someone uses doesn’t actually really harm anyone and only matters to the person themselves. They know themselves better than anyone else and therefore are the only person who can decide labels for themselves (or choose not to use labels for themselves at all! Relating to that…)

-It’s annoying that even within the queer community, some people try to force you into labels and boxes. Labels can be really important to some people, allowing them to put into words how they identify and it lets them take pride in that! That should be celebrated. But also: Some people don’t need labels at all and it’s annoying to assume all people need them! I’ll see people analyze nonbinary or trans people like “are they femme or masc presenting? are they gay or a lesbian or pan or bi or this or that? They’re nonbinary, so let’s categorize what type of nonbinary person they are-“ This can be so bothersome if you feel like you dont want to put any labels on yourself. Im not femme/masc/androgynous presenting or this or that: I am just existing and dont want to have to put effort into finding a label when We literally don’t think we fall into the traditional binary of what society thinks our gender should be and you’re going “Well lets see if i can categorize you anyways”. blehhhh. of course i do personally have some labels i do connect with but not everyone does and its annoying when people try to assign you categories that you arent already adopting for yourself.

-Obvious one: Assuming someone’s pronouns based on looks. like going: “Oh that person has long hair and dresses girly so I’ll assume she/her” when you didn’t ask the person how they wanna be called. Also: You can be trans and still dress however way you want, even if its not what society thinks your gender “should” be dressing as. If there’s a trans guy wearing a dress: you dont get to question if hes ‘really trans or not’ clothes and personal expression and appearance do NOT equal gender. Some of us just wanna fucking wear whatever clothes we want without even thinking about that kinda stuff… Just ask the person how they wanna be called!

-Stop thinking of nonbinary people as “woman lite” or “basically a women” or that we’re all just afab and androgynous looking and shit like that. People act so uncomfortable with things they think are “masculine” that they’re fucking hostile to people in their own community (I seen people be so nasty to amab nonbinary people… or nonbinary and trans people with ‘masculine’ traits…. or fat nonbinary people. or anyone who doesnt fall into their idea of “pretty”) its so clear you don’t actually respect nonbinary people if you are just thinking of them as “whatever gender I think they look like”. Same applies for other trans people: If their clothes or pronouns or ANYTHING makes it so you think about them as anything other than their preferred gender: You dont actually respect them

-Assuming the preference of pronouns based on how someone lists them out. I seen some people go “if someone’s bio says ‘she/they’, then you have to use she more than you use they!” SOMETIMES people will follow this rule, but don’t just assume that’s the case! Sometimes it’s just… someone with multiple pronouns with no real preference of how frequently you use them. For example: I use both he/him and she/her. If i put “she/he” in my bio and people started using she way way more than they use he for me: I would be sad because ideally itd be nice to use my pronouns interchangeably. Everyone is different so don’t assume what works for one person is universal! If you don’t know, just ask the person “Do you have any preference for how often I use which pronouns?” Because some people do list their most preferred ones first, but some people don’t!

-Maybe this one’s a hot take. I think it’s perfectly valid to get upset over people not respecting you and your identity and what you want to be called. But also please remember that 95% of people online are not checking ur bio before they address you on a post lol. I’ve seen people be bothered if someone says ‘they’ when they don’t know a persons gender… it IS offensive to use ‘they’ if the person doesnt use they/them pronouns and youre just trying to avoid using their actual pronouns: But guys not everyone online knows your pronouns. You can inform people of your pronouns if you feel like you need to! Just dont assume everyone reads ur bio lol. I have similar feelings about words like “dude” or “girl”… if you do not want to be called those: Thats absolutely fine and people should respect that, its shitty if they dont! but its also silly when people yell at people for not reading their bio and realizing they were a girl before saying “hey dude” or something like that.

You can inform people thats not something you wanna be called without being mean lol. Not that its not valid if you genuinely feel upset over peoples small mistakes or Not reading your pronouns before addressing you: But it really helps no one to be passive aggressive (only makes people feel worse and more bitter towards you for messing up!) Some people are shitty and intentionally misgender. but some people are allies just genuinely making a mistake and will go “oh my bad” if you just communicate.

Really just: communication is key for everything haha. Don’t assume things about other people. Ask people how they wanna be called. Lets all be kinder to each other today. sorry im always ranting annoyingly besties. im incoherent its 1:30 am

[kestrelofink]

Jesus Christ anon, you are OBSESSED with getting a response out of me aren't you. 3 messages on curiouscat, 5 on tumblr. Oh to have the time to throw around pointlessly as you do, but I don't so I'll answer so you stop asking, but also because I like to make things amusing for the people who read this pointless drivel, I am using this as an opportunity as examples of different kinds of fallacies because your messages to me are RIFE with them.

Ipse dixit: a claim that is presented as true without support, as self-evidently true, or as dogmatically true Non-sequitors: where the conclusion does not logically follow the premise

The suggestion that because someone likes them must mean they also dislike Vivi is factitious, bait-y, and in bad faith. A person's preferences can be and often are entirely unrelated, liking some members and not others need not be a mutually exclusive thing. There is also no proof that I “stan” Yves or Jinsoul, as I do neither. However, it can be easy to (bonus term!) confirmation bias yourself into believing what reinforces your world view. I highly encourage you to consider seeing things beyond black and white.

Hasty generalisation: basing a broad conclusion on a small or unrepresentative sample Denying the antecedent: the consequent in an indicative conditional is claimed to be false because the antecedent is false; if A, then B; not A, therefore not B

What you see from my writing and my posting does not comprehensively portray my thoughts and feelings about the LOONA girls. The fact I have not tweeted about Vivi is not surprising given that I have not tweeted about 2/3 of the LOONA members. You do not know how I feel about Vivi. You cannot make assumptions based on what I do not tweet about.

Ad hominem: attacking the arguer instead of the argument Appeal to emotion (fear): manipulating the emotions (generating distress, anxiety, cynicism, or prejudice towards the opponent in an argument) of the listener rather than using valid reasoning to obtain common agreement

You have sent me two separate messages about how I must not care about Vivi, and how I would not care if she died. Not only is this inappropriate, you also fail to actually address how I feel about Vivi (purportedly the purpose of your questions) and instead attack my... tastes? character? I'm uncertain of what you want to attain here, other than to offend me into answering you. In which case, you argue like a child.

Here are two things you clearly do not know about me: 1) I like Vivi. 2) Quite literally anything else.

If I do not talk about her enough for you, you are free to follow other accounts, you are free to unfollow me, you are free, even, to block me! You have to curate your own experience, and I will curate mine. But no one owes you explanations on why we don't talk about an idol "enough" to prove we like them. And when people don’t answer your questions, you do not send them the exact same question three times. Clearly, subtlety has not worked on you so instead you get this.

Now I hope this sates you because that's all I'll say. If you really want to talk about why you like Vivi, you are free to do so OFF anonymous. But so long as you continue to bait me with comments like this as if guilting me into paying more attention to her or accusing me of whatever fucking bullshit you were trying to insinuate in that tumblr ask, I can only assume you are an immature troll with too much time on your hands and I will curate my own experience and kindly show you the door by blocking your IP address.

[mbb-project-entity]

Chapter 61

Did you ever make a mistake with someone less intelligent with you?”

“Yes”

“Did the less intelligent person fool you to make the mistake?”

“Yes”

“If that less intelligent person fooled you, does this mean that you are actually less intelligent then that person?”

Jill frowned, and answered “No”

Dawg stopped and looked at Jane and then asked “If that person was less intelligent than you, how did he or she fool you?”

Jill pondered, this was not a yes or no question, so this was a focused question. She stated “He was a plumber that fooled me into buying materials I did not really need.”

“So” said Dawg “A plumber who is less intelligent than you in your opinion, could fool you into paying for materials you don’t need? Do you agree?”

Jill thought about it and answered “Yes”.

“So, therefore maybe you mistook the plumber’s intelligence level, maybe he was more intelligent then you? Could this be a possibility?”

Jill frowned again, remembered back to the plumber’s visit, and then considered the logic. She did not really know the plumber’s IQ so maybe he was a genius. She answered “Yes”. Dawg smiled and said “I happen to know that the plumber in question has an IQ of 102, which is far lower than your genius level 160, so I guess you really did not have an IQ of 160, perhaps that was a mistake on the testers, and your IQ is really only 101?”

Jill felt a slight shift in her mind, she couldn’t quite grasp what was wrong, but the logic that was stated sounded right, and no matter how hard she tried to think, she couldn’t wrong the logic.

Dawg continued “So, now we have established your IQ is actually only 101 and you are dumber than a plumber, so this leads me to ask you, are you a doctor of medicine?”

Jill said emphatically “Yes.”

“hmmm” Dawg hmmmed…and said, “OK, so if you are a doctor of medicine, and your IQ is only 101, it must have been very hard to get accepted to such a prestigious university, and to even finish at the top of your year. So, question, was it very hard to learn medicine?”

Jill remembered it wasn’t easy, she had to learn very hard for everything to get it perfect, and she answered “Yes”

“So, it was very hard because your IQ is average, or maybe its not, so question, with such an average IQ, was studying easy for you?”

Jill remembered she would always be top of her class, but she had to study hard for everything, so she answered “No.”

Dawg diverged, “So, it was hard to study, and you managed to enter Medical School, but let’s go back to your youth and see if this is real or is just your imagination, after all, you might be dreaming right now and everything here is a figment of your imagination. Could this be a dream?”

Jill tried to follow Dawg’s reasoning, but she did know that some philosophers theorized that life was a dream, so she answered “Yes”.

Dawg laughed a short bark laugh and stated “So you agree you might be imagining being a doctor and being successful and being a genius when in fact you might be something else entirely, after all, life could be a dream as you stated?”

Jill nodded and said “Yes” basing her answer on the logic of possibilities. Dawg decided to go down a different line of reasoning now, to establish a new historical base line. “Did your mother ever kiss strangers?”

Jill thought back, and her mother often met people with a politically correct side kiss to the cheek, so she answered “Yes”

“So, your mother kissed strangers, did she take the strangers into your home?” Jill again thought back to the few parties her mother had over the years and said “Yes” “OK, so your mother kissed strangers and invited them into her home, so would it be logical to say that your mother was a loose woman? Someone that didn’t mind kissing strangers and inviting them into her home?”

Jill considered the term loose, her mother was not conservative nor religious, but not loose…as her confusion mounted, Dawg stepped in and said “When I say loose, I meant that your mother didn’t mind who she kissed or invited into her home” To which Jill responded “Yes”

“OK Jill, so we have established that your mother is a loose woman, and modern society terms loose women as sluts, a slut is someone that feels sexual freedom with everyone and shows it, does this sound correct to you?”

Jill didn’t notice the catch in the question and answered only the second half, “Yes” At that moment, her past shifted as her mother was transformed in her mind from a vibrant active paralegal into a sexually loose slut that loved inviting strangers’ in to her home. Dawg continued and said “So, your mother was a slut that invited strangers into her home and kissed them, so its safe to say that your mother was sexually promiscuous and that she had sex every day with strangers in your home?”

Jill reviewed her memories, there was something rippling in them, but she couldn’t make out the patterns, she was conflicted and remembered a life where her mother was constantly bringing strangers into their home, so she answered “Yes”.

Dawg smiled inwards and then stated “So, your mother was a slut who fucked many strangers, so its safe to say your mother was a whore.”

Jill answered immediately “Yes” to which again her mind shifted and now she remembered a past where she grew up with a whore mother, this confused her mind even more and as the new patterns laid into her mind, Dawg continued.

“So, if your mother was a whore with many strangers, is it safe to say that she wasn’t married?”

Jill remembered her father, a brilliant scientist, so she said “No” “You agree that your mother was a whore, and most whores don’t have husbands, is this correct?”

“Yes”

“So its safe to say then that your mother was not married and that she was a whore that had many strangers and maybe even a pimp?”

Jill tried to conflict the logic but couldn’t and replied “Yes”

At that moment her mind reeled, she no longer remembered a father, her memories was becoming like jelly.

Dawg continued the attack and asked “We have now established that your mother was an unmarried whore with a pimp owner that traded her cunt for sex daily, in this instance, would you agree that the man you might have thought was your father was in fact the pimp?”

Jill blurted out “Yes” and regretted that but it was too late as her jellied memories congealed into a solid past where she had no father, only a pimp that sold her mother for sex daily.

“So” added Dawg, “would you agree that if the pimp lived in your home, it was not your mother’s home but the pimps, after all a dumb street whore with no education and low income giving it all to the pimp that owns her would most probably live in a whore house where they sold drugs too?”

Jill tried to recall her past but couldn’t get a lock on it any more, and the logic sounded right so she answered “Yes” at that moment her past became solid, she grew up in a cheap whore house that sold crack and was filled with strangers.

“Would it therefore be logical to state that if your mother was a dumb ignorant cheap whore that took drugs daily, her mental capacity and her biological capacity would have affected any of her children? Perhaps giving birth to a very dumb child that would most probably grow up to be a very dumb ignorant whore like her mother. After all, if she grew up in a whore house and was exposed to sex and drugs throughout her life she would eventually become what she grew up in?”

Jill tried to focus on the long question, the logic sounded right so she answered “Yes” At that moment her entire past and her body and mind changed completely. She was no longer a vibrant fit physician, but a withered looking crack whore who lived all of her life in a whore house taking drugs since she was a teenager and being used by her mothers pimp to do house work, cleaning up until she was old enough legally to become a whore in the house too.

Jill’s eyes became dull and her mouth had a slight droop, she also had nicotine stains on her fingers from smoking and drug tracks on her arms. Her IQ lowered to 68 and she couldn’t read, write or even speak coherently, since she had been used all her life. Dawg laughed out loud, then looked into Jill’s dull eyes and asked “So, Jill, is that your real name? and why do you think you are a doctor?”

Jill’s mind was slow and she didn’t really understand most of what the man asked, but she did say “Naw, ma name’s JayJay, and I thought you wanted me to be a doctah” Dawg answered “No JayJay, and is it safe to presume that your name JayJay is because you have two JJ sized tits that droop down to your knees when you sit and they rest on your lap with two inch long and thick nipples?”

JayJay frowned, “Yup, course they are” and that moment her body morphed again, this time growing massive melons that were both sensitive and huge, with pumping blue veins and large nipples that dripped milk constantly.”

Dawg was nearly finished but he wanted to take this to the next level, so he decided it was time to not only change Jill, but also her family and friends too.

“JayJay, do you remember having a husband and children? And lots of medical professional friends in another life?”

JayJay didn’t understand the man, but she answered “Yeah” only because she did have pictures in her mind of a vibrant clever doctor with a smiling husband and two children, although she couldn’t really understand why she did. Actually, the only reason she did is because Dawg wanted his subjects to remember who they were so they could constantly compare their new life to their old one. This took a while to set in after the initial changed, but once it did, the subjects all became extremely horny and flustered when remembering their old life and superimposing the new one into it.