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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 3 years

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Fluffy Fridays—Chapter 156: A Man After Midnight

Pairing: Captain Swan

Summary: A series of unrelated, fluffy one shots featuring Killian Jones and Emma Swan and the relationship that makes us all swoon. Will contain both canon and AU stories. My contribution to Operation Rainbow Kisses and Unicorn Stickers (aka, my attempt to drown out the season 4 finale angst with ridiculous levels of fluff.)

Other Chapters: ( 1) (2) ( 3) ( 4) ( 5) (6) ( 7) ( 8) ( 9) ( 10) ( 11) ( 12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31) (32) (33) (34) (35) (36) (37) (38) (39) (40) (41) (42) (43) (44) (45) (46) (47) (48) (49) (50) (51) (52) (53) (54) (55) (56) (57) (58) (59) (60) (61) (62) (63) (64) (65) (66) (67) (68) (69) (70) (71) (72) (73) (74) (75) (76) (77) (78) (79) (80) (81) (82) (83) (84) (85) (86) (87) (88) (89) (90) (91) (92) (93) (94) (95) (96) (97) (98) (99) (100) (101) (102) (103) (104) (105) (106) (107) (108) (109) (110) (111) (112) (113) (114) (115) (116) (117) (118) (119) (120) (121) (122) (123) (124) (125) (126) (127) (128) (129) (130) (131) (132) (133) (134) (135) (136) (137) (138) (139) (140) (141) (142) (143) (144) (145) (146) (147) (148) (149) (150) (151) (152) (153) (154) (155) (157) (158) (159) (160) (161) (162) (163) (164) (165) (166) (167) (168) (169) (170) (171) (172) (173) (174)

(ao3) (ff.net)

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Is there a man out there?

Someone to hear my prayer?

Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight.

Won’t somebody help me chase the shadows away?

Killian Jones grinned to himself as he heard the music blare through the windows of his third floor apartment. He glanced across the alley and found it was better than he’d hoped.

This was going to be entertaining.

Pouring himself a shot of rum, he settled on his couch and took in the show.

The first time he saw her was the evening after he moved in three weeks ago. It was a beautiful, if unseasonably warm, early spring day, and he decided to throw open the windows of his brand new flat as he unpacked boxes and decided on the proper placement of his furniture.

Killian had heard feminine laughing and curiously glanced out his window He’d learned two things in that moment.

First, his apartment building was so close to the one next door that he could see directly into his neighbor’s living room window.

Second, said neighbor was the most stunningly gorgeous blonde he’d ever in his life beheld. She was dressed to kill in a short, tight red sleeveless dress with matching stilettos that made her shapely legs look as though they went on for miles.

He’d stood stock still, mouth almost comically hanging open as she moved through her apartment, cell phone to her ear.

“Duh!” she’d said. “Have you ever even met me, Ruby? Of course I was successful. The perp didn’t even have a chance.”

She’d kicked off her heels and bent down to pet the little black dog who’d greeted her entrance as though he hadn’t seen her in years, overcome with paroxysms of canine joy.

Killian smiled to himself as she continued her conversation with Ruby, whoever that might be, and first fed her dog and then set about feeding herself. She pulled a take out carton from her fridge, sniffed the contents, and then, apparently finding it acceptable, tossed it into her microwave.

She turned toward her window then, and Killian hastily pulled back, not wanting to give his brand new neighbor the impression he was some manner of stalker.

But that evening had solidified it for him. He’d not only made the right decision to move to the town of Storybrooke, he’d most assuredly made the right decision in renting this particular flat.

With any luck he’d soon meet the luscious blonde and then...well, he’d had many, many ideas about what might ensue next.

A bark had pulled his attention from his neighbor and back to his own home.

“Aye, Mr. Smee,” he’d said giving his golden retriever an affectionate pat on the head, “I’m well aware that your dinner is past due.”

Indeed, Killian had hoped meeting his lovely neighbor was an imminent event. After all, their buildings were so close he could nearly reach out and touch her front window. (He had no idea what architect had the brilliant idea to construct their buildings such that their picture windows looked out on...another apartment building, but given the circumstances, he was far from complaining.)

Sadly, it had not worked out that way. Killian had no idea what his neighbor did for a living, but she clearly kept far different hours than he did. Not once in the three weeks since he’d moved in had he happened upon her as they left their buildings. Not once had he seen her around town. Not once had he even had occasion to learn her name.

And so, he’d gone about his life.

Truth be told, acquaintance with the gorgeous blonde or not, he was simply thankful to have his life back. It had been a rough few months, to say the least.

Six months ago, he’d lost his brother, Liam to a naval training accident. After their mother had died and then their father had left while the brothers were still quite young, Liam was all he’d had left. It had been the Jones boys against the world for years, and though it had been hard, it had been good.

Which made Liam’s sudden death so very devastating. Killian’s entire world had been shattered in an instant.

Killian had tried to stick it out there in the city where he and Liam had lived, but within months, it became clear it was simply too painful, and so he’d pulled out his map and randomly chosen the first town he’d found that was on the sea.

Storybrooke, Maine. Quaint name for a quaint little town.

He’d searched out an apartment to let, and with lodgings secured, he’d set his mind to finding himself a means of employment.

As it happened, said means was fairly dropped in his lap. Liam had always been fascinated with sailing. He’d spent years researching old ships, the history of sailing, and 18th century piracy. The culmination of all his efforts was the building of a magnificent brig, a perfect replica of one that might have been sailed during the golden age of piracy.

Liam had jokingly named her the Jolly Roger, and she was a beauty.

Upon Liam’s untimely death, Killian had inherited her.

Killian had been advised to sell his brother’s ship, but that had never been an option. There was no way in seven hells he’d get rid of the project that had been his beloved brother’s baby.

Instead, he spent a few weeks sailing the old girl and trying to figure out just how he could best honor Liam’s legacy.

One morning, upon returning to port after a sunrise sail, Killian had come across a family watching him dock the Jolly. The little boy of the family had watched with eyes round as saucers.

“Is that a real pirate ship, Mister?” the boy had asked in awe.

Killian had laughed with the parents, but the question had stuck with him.

The fact is, the Jolly Roger had been built to be a pirate ship, so what better way to honor Liam than to use her as such?

Not to commit actual piracy, of course, but if the little boy was fascinated with the Jolly Roger, how many other people might be? What if he offered sailing tours upon her, marketed her as a genuine pirate ship, turned her into a living museum of sorts?

And so Jolly Roger Tours had been born. Killian had gone the whole nine yards, going so far as purchasing a pirate “uniform” for himself, complete with black leather pants, a blousy black shirt, and a long, heavy black leather coat. The effect was complete with heavy eye-liner and artfully tousled hair.

To his gratification, Jolly Roger Tours had really taken off. He was never at a loss for customers.

Aye, his life was going well, and never was he more aware of that fact than he was tonight as he settled on his couch and glanced over at his blonde neighbor as she moved and swayed and sang along to the music of Abba at the top of her voice.

It appeared that the lass was doing some sort of exercise routine, and Killian’s grin only grew as he watched her energetically dance her way through the upbeat music.

Beautiful she might be, but she seemed utterly uncoordinated. She laughed with wild abandon as she attempted the complex moves and nearly tripped over herself. At her feet, her small dog cocked his head up at her in obvious confusion. Killian chuckled to himself as the pup grabbed a toy and dropped it at the woman’s feet. It seemed the dog had no better idea what she was doing than she did herself.

She laughed again, and Killian was utterly enchanted.

He got to his feet, coming to a sudden decision. He had to meet his lovely neighbor. If fate wasn’t going to throw them together, perhaps it was time he gave fate a little push.

Not even bothering to change out of his pirate regalia, Killian headed out his front door.

It was the work of but a moment to determine his neighbor’s apartment number. He knew the floor, after all, her apartment was level with his own. All he needed to do was search out the apartments on that particular floor. Glancing over the names on the apartments mailboxes, he found the most likely candidate belonged to one Emma Swan in apartment 3a.

Before he had a chance to talk himself out of the bold plan, Killian took the elevator to the third floor, walked purposely down the hall, and knocked briskly on 3a.

A moment later, Emma Swan opened the door, hair pulled up in a high ponytail, and sweat glistening against her skin from her workout.

“Good news, love,” he said with a cheeky grin. “There is indeed a man out there who heard your prayer. It may not be after midnight, but I am most assuredly a man, and I’m at your disposal.”

Notes:

--Happy Friday! Today’s story is inspired by real life (sort of. I wish I could tell you a hot pirate showed up at my door, but such was not the case, lol). Yesterday I had the morning off, so I decided to try out a dance exercise workout video on YouTube to the music from Mamma Mia. I learned several things through this experience: 1. Working out is 1000x more fun with the music of Abba. 2. For someone who’s musical, I have absolutely no rhythm or coordination. 3. My decision to rethink my start-exercising plan and look for something I’d find fun rather than just something I wouldn’t find horrible, has been wildly successful so far. 4. My dog, Bear (who Emma’s dog was modeled on), gets really confused when I exercise and kept bringing me his Kong to toss for him.

And most importantly of all: 5. This experience, like nearly everything else on earth, can, of course, be turned into a CS au.

--Up next: Next Friday is my birthday, and I’ve decided to gift myself with the end of this story! (It would be even better if someone else could download my idea from my head and write it for me, but alas, such technology doesn’t exist.) We’ll get Emma’s POV, and see her reaction to a full-blown (hot) pirate showing up at her door and being all cheeky. Should be fun. Let’s just hope these two adorable idiots can figure things out and end up falling in love.

In case you’re curious, here are a couple pictures of my Bear, so you have an idea what Emma’s dog looks like:

NEXT CHAPTER-->

#cs ff #cs friday fluff #fluffy fridays #my fanfiction #cs au ff

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wearesorcerer · 4 years

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Highlights from OD&D

I’m perusing Book 1 - Men & Magic from the original D&D box set and it’s wild.

Y’know, in the “weird first installment” sort of way.

I’m going to stick to what’s relevant to the Magic-User, as otherwise we’d be here all day.

Magic-Users as artillery pieces go back to Chainmail (the fantasy wargame rules out of which OD&D grew [and upon which they still relied]). However, the spell list does not suggest this role. They are squishy, though, and described as such (obviously without using the word “squishy”).

Whereas Fighting-Men and Clerics can build strongholds and gain followers who, eventually, will provide them taxes/tithes, Magic-Users can craft magic items. They can’t use many of these (magic weapons, for instance) unless they multiclass (though it’s not called that; Elves are expected to do this).

Magic-Users can only equip daggers. (Quarterstaves aren’t listed as weapons yet.)

There’s no arcane spell failure chance for wearing armor; Magic-Users simply aren’t able to equip it without “changing” classes (multiclassing).

Spellbooks are required for all spellcasters, Clerics included.

Spell slots exist, but aren’t called that. The progression is a little weird.

The Magic-User gets up to 6th-level spells (one higher than the Cleric, which is de jure a gish).

There are more higher-level spells of each spell level than there are lower-level ones (8/10/14/12/14/12).

Cantrips are an invention of 3rd edition (which I knew already), so the list of 1st-level spells is a mixture of cantrips (detect magic, read magic, and light) and other familiar spells (hold portal, read languages, protection from evil, charm person, and sleep).

In case the above didn’t make it clear: spells are not alphabetized. At all.

Magic missile doesn’t exist.

Neither do dancing lights, mage hand, or prestidigitation (though I know the last one was called “cantrip” in 2e).

The first spell which can deal damage is phantasmal forces (silent image + the shadow conjuration/evocation line). It doesn’t make a lot of sense how it would, as another creature’s touch automatically dispels it.

Of the 70 spells on this list, there are only 4 direct damage ones: 3rd - fire ball (sic), lightning bolt; 4th - wall of fire, wall of ice.

Aside from phantasmal forces, there are eight spells meant for attacking: 5th - cloudkill, conjure elemental, magic jar, passwall; 6th - control weather, death spell, disintegrate, invisible stalker. (Animate dead is also on the list, but you could do other things with that, ‘cuz y’know it raises permanent minions.)

The vast majority of spells on this list are for information-gathering, mobility, dealing with obstacles (especially doors), and crowd control.

Each spell’s entry (counting range text) takes up 2-4 lines, with very few exceptions. There’s plenty of room for questions, especially on what one can and cannot do with a spell.

Haste spell refers to slow spell for what it does, but slow spell doesn’t say in the original print what effect it has, only the maximum number of targets, its area of effect, its range, and its duration. (A revised version says that it reduces enemies’ speed by 50%, but I have no idea what that actually means.)

Remove curse exists, but bestow curse does not.

Hold person is not a paralysis effect; it’s mass charm person with a shorter duration and the option to make it harder to save against if targeting only one character.

Clairvoyance is not a scrying-style effect; it’s x-ray vision. Clairaudience (a separate spell) is the same thing but for hearing. The only scrying spell is “Wizard” (arcane) eye, which is still a 4th-level spell but not for any of the reasons that justify it being that high.

There’s a spell (massmorph) specifically to pull a Birnam Wood Moving Upon Dunsinane (from MacBeth). ‘Course, this version of the game is more wargame than it is collaborative storytelling adventure, so that makes sense.

The wonkiness of sleep dealing with hit dice comes from here.

Baleful polymorph is called polymorph others, as it had been until 3.5. However, polymorph is called polymorph self, for once explaining the nomenclature.

Polymorph self does not grant combat abilities, but does grant movement modes and disguise.

Polymorph others doesn’t cause the target to lose its mind (like it does in later editions), but does grant a creature all of the combat ability of its new form. It lasts until dispelled.

Several Druidic spells (control weather, growth of plants, growth of monsters, lower water, move earth, part water [think Fantasia instead of Exodus, I guess], REINCARNATION) are Magic-User spells. (I mean, several of those remained on the Mage and then Sor/Wiz lists, but reincarnation?) Insect plague, speak with animals, speak with plants, and turn sticks to snakes, however, are Cleric spells.

The Finger of Death (with definite article) is also an Anti-Cleric spell rather than a Magic-User one. (Also, ANTI!)

Passwall isn’t explicitly an intangibility effect: it opens up a 10′ pit “in a solid rock wall.” (Why they split the effect from the name is a question for another day.)

Project image is a 6th-level spell, but functions like the mirror image of later editions (spells appear to come from the image, but you’re not creating a true duplicate/using bilocationality).

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mwolf0epsilon · 4 years

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Sammy and Norman. One of them gets drafted? The goodbyes, the worry, maybe never get to see the other again ?

Summary: The battlefield took his arm and a finger, and maybe a little bit of his sanity, but that studio took much more from everyone else. It took their mind, soul and body.

---

Dread had been a creeping stalker from the moment he'd witnessed many of his neighbors being called upon to help in the war efforts. It had followed Sammy around like a wolf in the shadows, making him fret for what he considered an inevitability of sorts. As the man of a household it only made sense that he'd be singled out as another viable soldier despite being the least capable sort to be found in a war.

A man of the arts, with careful and gentle fingers. Cannon fodder at best.

It was a harrowing feeling, because it truly made him fear for what may happen to his dear little sister without him around.

So really, one should be more sympathetic when his turn did come up and his only reaction was to fall to his knees in despair.

He had two days to make preparations. Then he'd be sent out with the rest of the sheep to the slaughter.

"You're leaving?!" Joey Drew, as slow as he was to move about without that silly looking cane of his, was much too fast getting to his feet for Sammy's liking. He shot up from his seat like a serpent ready to strike at any moment.

The safety of a desk between a scared mouse and a vile snake was a comfort.

"I don't have a choice in the matter." The blond kept his composure despite knowing quite well what Joey was more than capable of doing if he felt like he'd been crossed. He'd rather be scorned by the devil than be labeled a traitor to his country.

One of these outcomes had a 50% chance of survival. "I've been drafted. In two days I'll be sent off to die in a nonsensical war."

"But your obligations to the studio! We need you here to put a tune to the cartoons!"

"My obligations?! Joey, I've been drafted. I can't kindly decline!" Sammy exclaimed in disbelief. "It's not like picking what you want to eat at lunch. If I try to skirt around this I'll be as good as dead."

"If you go you'll most certainly be dead, and then who's going to compose for the studio?!" Joey's tone had a hint of accusation, as if Sammy wanted this to happen. Might as well blame him for the war while he was at it.

"It's a fucking cartoon, Joey! My life is worth more than your stupid pictures!" His blood was beginning to boil. "I'm leaving and that's that. I'm dropping off the rest of my scores so Jack can finish them up, and I'm conducting the band one last time today. But tomorrow I ain't coming in because I'm helping my sister move out."

"You can't do this to me! How am I supposed to find a composer on such short notice?!" Joey slammed his hands on the table. From the looks of it, he was seething.

"Figure it out. You're the boss aren't you?!" Sammy turned away from the shaking Joey and walked out of his office. He felt strangely lighter on his feet. For once, arguing with his employer didn't make him feel vulnerable.

It was great, despite the circumstances.

"I can't believe you're going to war... Sammy that's..." Jack's reaction to the news was a tearful one. It was quite sobering after getting a little giddy from getting under Joey's skin with no real consequences. "I'm gonna miss you."

"Aww... I'll miss you too, you big softy." The blond gave the shorter and pudgier man a pat on the shoulder, allowing him to squeeze his midsection in a tight hug. "You're going to be the man of the house now. Don't let the band trample over you... Those savages can sniff out weakness like a pack of hungry hyenas."

"They're not that bad. You're just easy to rile up, is all." Jack teased, laughing when Sammy gave him a pointed look.

"You know as well as I do that Joey will go after the head of a department if the lackeys slack off." He ignored the few glares he got from said 'lackeys'. "And this bunch gets what it deserves for being a bunch of children on the job."

"Can you leave sooner?!"

"Fuck you too Johnny! I hope your pipe organ falls on you!"

Jack cackled, which got a few other band members to crack up as well. Sammy too found himself smiling. Despite the frustration of leading this group of hellions through a carefully composed song, he'd miss the few occasionally humorous banters and mishaps.

He'd especially miss his good friend and pal. He could only hope the stress wouldn't get to Jack while he was away.

People either gave him knowing pitiful looks, complimented his bravery in confronting Joey over his leaving on such short notice, or gave him a vague 'nice working with you, good luck' sort of gesture.

Word had spread through the departments and Sammy felt genuinely impressed at how quickly people went from detesting his presence to sucking up just to save face. No one wanted to be that one guy who was a dick to a soon to be dead patriot.

Susie absolutely smothered him with tearful kisses and tight hugs. She was a mess and, in return, he felt a mess as well.

He didn't want to leave...

"I'll see you off tomorrow." She whispered in his ear during a particularly long hug in the recording booth. "For good luck."

"Thank you doll..." He held on to her for as long as he could. "I'm going to miss this."

"Getting cried on?"

"Just being with you. You make my world so much brighter..."

"Sammy Lawrence you're such a sap, I love you." Susie giggles into his chest.

"Love you too Susiebell."

They'd parted ways, Sammy to collect his belongings and Susie to freshen up in one of the women's bathrooms.

On the way he encountered Norman while passing by the stairs that lead to his booth.

"Who'd have thought..."

"Hm?" He looked up at the projectionist who was staring down from his vantage point. Norman backed off and went for the stairs, meeting him halfway.

"My pa was military. He did things a particular sorta way." Norman explained "Includin' raising his kids in a rather peculiar fashion."

"That would explain your... Eccentricity." Sammy rolled his eyes, which got a laugh out of the older man.

"N'aw. I'm just the weird one... My siblings are pretty normal folk." He chuckled "But I digress. Thing is, my pa would wake us up at 5 in the morning, to do drills with us. 'Case of emergency he always did say... There's a war out there now and yous would think they'd call on me to help."

"Haven't they?" Sammy frowned.

"No." Norman's smile gradually faded. "My eye. It ain't no good, so they decided to call on my little brother instead..."

"....Shit."

"Uh-huh. Was lookin' for ya to tell ya. Your sister can still move in. Nelson's just gonna be the head o' the house instead."

"What about income? Who'll pay the rent and bills?" He felt uneasy about the situation. "They're still too young."

"I'll help with expenses ta best I can, but my little niece and nephew is looking for work. I'd advise your sister do ta same. Times gonna get rough Sammy."

"They are... Thanks Norman." The blond worried his bottom lip. "For helping."

"Well I'll be... Sammy Lawrence thankin' me for being a decent fella. What a day."

"Fuck you."

"You offerin' dinner first?"

"GOD!" He threw up his hands in defeat, which got a good hearty laugh out of the projectionist. "I'll be around your brother's tomorrow then. Good luck with Drew. I got a feeling he'll be extra surly in my absence."

"Can't imagine why. Poor Grant will go nuts if he hires an entire orchestra's worth o' folks to substitute yous."

The music director laughed and went back to what he'd been set to do. It felt nice to hear that he was worth an entire orchestra in someone's eyes.

He hoped Norman wouldn't have a hard time.

Saying goodbye to his sister felt like a death march in its own right. He spent the entire day helping her move her belongings to the younger Polks's house. Her two friends were good help, and they even offered him tea and told him to rest whenever he got winded.

The boy, Nelson, warned him that he'd need to train his resistance if he wanted to survive the military drills. The family cat was much more sympathetic, seeming less worried about his physical capacity and more content with having a warm lap to sit on and a set of dexterous fingers to give it some good scratches.

When they'd finished, Sammy had taken his sister out to lunch. They'd run around town just having fun, something he'd rarely been able to do while working at the studio.

Then came the time to go.

To his surprise the train station was packed with a few studio workers.

Susie, Norman, Jack, Wally, Emma, Shawn, Grant and even a few of the band members had come to see him off.

He wasn't ashamed to admit he cried like a baby getting to say goodbye all over again. It felt good to be cared about, even if he wasn't the easiest person to be around of. The only other person that cried just as hard was his poor sister.

"Please come back, I can't lose my grumpy brother." The pleading broke his heart. He couldn't promise he'd come back which was what made this so upsetting.

"I'm not grumpy, just misunderstood." He retorted playfully in between hiccups.

"You're a grumpy butt, grumpiest goof there ever was." A tearful chuckle. His little Abby was flushed and covered in snot and tears. They were both very gross criers.

"Slander! I'm a misunderstood suffering artist." They pulled away and Sammy made sure to take a handkerchief from his pocket and begin trying to clean his sister's face. "Be good to your little friends. I'll try to write to you as much as I can..."

"I will... Please be careful Samuel." She pulled that old doll he'd given her and handed it over to him. Seamus had seen better days, well loved that he was. "Both of you have to come back."

He took her doll and smiled a sincere but rather sad smile.

"I'll do my best Abigail."

His best was not enough, but damn if he wasn't a stubborn son of a bitch. He'd return with her doll, even if he had to drag himself all the way back.

Henry gave him a sympathetic look as both descended the lift with Boris looking at them uneasily. They'd pleased Alice enough that they'd gotten the tommy gun from her to complete the last task on her list of demands.

Sammy glanced at the cartoonist with a sad and tired expression. His prosthetic pinkie tapping against his ruined prosthetic arm.

It had already been clunky enough. After a few hits from a Piper, it had become virtually useless other than as a makeshift instrument.

"Are you ready?" Henry asked.

"No... But I never am for this part."

The lift stopped on level 14, and Sammy walked forward. Stamping his feet and kicking up as much ink as possible.

The shrill screech of the Projectionist filled the room as the twisted horror that Norman Polk had become ran forward to evicerate whomever dared intrude upon its domain.

Henry shot it down effortlessly and left Sammy to kneel beside the fallen beast.

The blond sighed sadly, staring at the dying creature with pity, before gently brushing it's back. He could hear Henry moving around, collecting the hearts.

"Shhh... Hush now." He continued to comfort what had once been a friend, feeling the burning gaze of Alice upon him. Judging him. "Sheep, sheep, sheep, It's time for sleep. Rest your head. It's time for bed. In the morning, you may wake. Or in the morning, you'll be dead..."

If it appreciated not being alone as it died, the Projectionist didn't give any indication. But the gentle pawing at his leg made Sammy hopeful that something of Norman remained to thank him before the poor creature went limp for good.

It would reform with no memory of his kindness, but it made his soul feel less heavy with guilt.

"Such a pity." Alice taunted from above. "If only you'd cared and stayed... Maybe less of us would have suffered so greatly."

"I doubt that Susiebell." He replied, uncaring if he would end up enraging her for denying her new identity. "I doubt that..."

The battlefield took his arm and a finger, and maybe a little bit of his sanity, but that studio took much more from everyone else. It took their mind, soul and body.

What was left made Sammy feel hopeless.

#Eps Writes:#Bendy and the Ink Machine #BATIM #Sammy Lawrence

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binarycolours · 7 years

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@irradiancies | tee-bee-fly-ee starter

“Stop following me!!”

Except it wasn’t the stalker in the shadows he had rounded up on. It was some girl.

“Oh. Err..... hm.”

Awkward.

#v: tbflye #irradiancies #kairi.01 #(( there is a 50/50 chance you ARE the stalker in the shadows #how do you plead? ))

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antagonistchanremade · 4 years

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i couldn’t find a list of all the new 10th anniversary achievements anywhere outside the achievements menu so i’m making the list myself

WINGS OF LIBERTY

Liberation Day: “Quick Sign off” Destroy all 6 Dominion Holoboards in the “Liberation Day” mission in less than 3 minutes on Normal difficulty.

The Outlaws: “No Quarter” Complete “The Outlaws” mission without building additional Barracks on Normal difficulty.

Zero Hour: “A Strong Offense” Destroy 8 Zerg Hatcheries in the “Zero Hour” mission on Normal difficulty. (so basically just that one achievement from before, but doubled and on an easier difficulty)

The Evacuation: “The Great Purge” Destroy all Zerg structures in the “The Evacuation” mission on Normal difficulty. (oh this one looks fun)

Outbreak: “23 Minutes Later” Complete the “Outbreak” mission on Normal difficulty before the 4th night. (basically the same name and goal of an existing achievement which does seem a little basic but w/e)

Safe Haven: “Rip Them All Down” Kill 50 enemy units with Vikings in the “Safe Haven” mission on Normal difficulty.

Haven’s Fall: “Raid & Plunder” Destroy 50 enemy structures with Vikings in the “Haven’s Fall” mission on Normal difficulty.

Smash and Grab: “No Smash, Only Grab” Gather all 4 Protoss relics without destroying a Zerg strurcture (sic) in the “Smash and Grab” mission on Normal difficulty.

The Dig: “Thanks for the Advice” Complete “The Dig” mission without killing an enemy unit with the Laser Drill on Normal difficulty. (oh i love this one’s name)

The Moebius Factor: “Contract Saviors” Complete “The Moebius Factor” mission by training only SCVs, Medivacs, and Mercenaries on Normal difficulty.

Supernova: “Aerial Superiority” Complete the “Supernova” mission without building a unit from a Barracks or Factory on Normal difficulty.

Maw of the Void: “The Most Powerful Terran in the Universe” Destroy all enemy Protoss structures in the “Maw of the Void” mission on Normal difficulty.

The Devil’s Playground: “Starve the Beast” Kill the Brutalisk without losing a unit to it in “The Devil’s Playground” mission on Normal difficulty.

Welcome to the Jungle: “Rocket Queen” Complete the “Welcome to the Jungle” mission in less than 14 minutes on Normal difficulty. (i know all the old achievements for this mission were Guns N Roses song names, is Rocket Queen also a Guns N Roses song? i don’t recognize it. if it isn’t that’s kinda disappointing)

Breakout: “Love the Bomb” Kill 50 total units with Nuclear Strikes in the “Breakout” mission on Normal difficulty.

Ghost of a Chance: “Many Shots, Two Kills” Kill 2 Spectres with Reapers in the “Ghost of a Chance” mission on Normal difficulty.

The Great Train Robbery: “Fewer Hands, Bigger Cut” Complete “The Great Train Robbery” mission without building an SCV on Normal difficulty.

Cutthroat: “I’ll Do It Myself” Destroy Orlan’s Mercenary Fortress in the “Cutthroat” mission before Han’s mercenaries are hired on Normal difficulty. (”cutthroat” is a pain in the ass to type holy shit. like i’m really good at typing, i type like 200 words a minute without looking even in the direction of my computer, but god DAMN cutthroat is a pain)

Engine of Destruction: “Limited Warranty” Repair less than 5000 damage on the Odin in the “Engine of Destruction” mission on Normal difficulty.

Media Blitz: “Preemptive Strike” Destroy 120 units or structures in the “Media Blitz” mission during the sneak attack on Normal difficulty. (this is like that “destroy a Factory, Barracks, and Starport” achievement for this mission except actually potentially hard this time)

Piercing the Shroud (aka the secret mission): “Count to Three, No More, No Less” Kill 40 enemy units with weapon pickups in the “Piercing the Shroud” mission on Normal difficulty.

Whispers of Doom: “Blink Blink Revolution” Activate the third Xel’Naga Shrine in the “Whispers of Doom” mission without losing a Stalker on Normal difficulty.

A Sinister Turn: “The Way of the Nerazim” Kill 30 enemy units or structures with Dark Templar in the “A Sinister Turn” mission on Normal difficulty.

Echoes of the Future: “The Quick and the Dead” Activate 2 Tendrils in the “Echoes of the Future” mission within 4 minutes on Normal difficulty.

In Utter Darkness: “Grounded and Scared” Complete the “In Utter Darkness” mission without building a unit from a Stargate on Normal difficulty. (the hardest part about this one is gonna be just playing In Utter Darkness because holy shit In Utter Darkness absolutely blows)

Gates of Hell: “Band of Brothers” Rescue Warfield in the “Gates of Hell” mission while only training SCVs, Medics, Medivacs, Hercules, Ravens, Science Vessels, and Mercenaries on Normal Difficulty. (in other words... play Gates of Hell. because that’s basically what you already do for Gates of Hell. because the real meat of your army’s the guys you rescue.)

Belly of the Beast: “Bam-Ba-Lam” Kill 100 enemy units with Flaming Bettys in the “Belly of the Beast” mission on Normal difficulty. (WHOA-OA, FLAMING BETTY)

Shatter the Sky: “The Harder They Fall” Destroy the Leviathan in the “Shatter the Sky” mission within 2 minutes of it appearing on Normal difficulty.

All In: “Antiquitous Artifact” Complete the “All In” mission without using the Artifact on Normal Difficulty. (Firefox doesn’t think “Antiquitous” is a word)

HEART OF THE SWARM

Lab Rat: “Eradicator? Eradicated!” Destroy the Eradicator in the “Lab Rat” mission in less then (sic) 8 minutes on Normal difficulty.

Back in the Saddle: “Giddyup!” Complete the “Back in the Saddle” mission in less than 15 minutes on Normal difficulty.

Rendezvous: “Rolling Out the Carpet” Build 50 Creep Tumors in the “Rendezvous” mission on Normal difficulty.

Harvest of Screams: “Cold Rush” Complete the “Harvest of Screams” mission in less than 9 minutes on Normal difficulty.

Shoot the Messenger: “Failure to Launch” Destroy a Protoss Docking Bay in less than 11 minutes in the “Shoot the Messenger” mission on Normal difficulty.

Enemy Within: “Queen Rush” Complete the “Enemy Within” mission in less than 13 minutes on Normal difficulty.

Dominion: “So Many Banelings” Kill 200 enemy units with Banelings on the “Dominion” mission on Normal difficulty.

Fire in the Sky: “Full Coverage” Cover 40% of the map in the “Fire in the Sky” mission with Creep on Normal difficulty.

Old Soldiers: “Early Retirement” Complete the “Old Soldiers” mission in less than 14 minutes on Normal difficulty.

Waking the Ancient: “Don’t Look Up” Control 70 Mutalisks at the same time within 20 minutes in the “Waking the Ancient” mission on Normal difficulty.

The Crucible: “Entomophobia” Complete “The Crucible” mission without spawning Primordial Spawn Locusts on Normal difficulty.

Supreme: “Sudden Extinction” Kill every Primal Zerg leader, including Zurvan, in less than 150 seconds each in the “Supreme” mission on Normal difficulty.

Infested: “We’re the Terrans Now” Control 20 Parasitic Dominated Terran units at the same time in the “Infested” mission on Normal difficulty.

Hand of Darkness: “Two-Man Swarm” Kill 50 units with rescued Brutalisks in the “Hand of Darkness” mission on Normal difficulty.

Phantom of the Void: “Eat, Love, Then Pray” Destroy all Protoss structures before activating 4 Temples in the “Phantom of the Void” mission on Normal difficulty.

With Friends Like These...: “Pimp My Ride” Upgrade the Hyperion to the max level within 11 minutes in the “With Friends Like These...” mission on Normal difficulty.

Conviction: “Bad Blood” Kill 15 enemy units with Parasitic Dominated Terran units in the “Conviction” mission on Normal difficulty.

Planetfall: “Salivary Conditioning” Destroy 20 Dominion structures in the “Planetfall” mission before the 3rd Bile Launcher lands on Normal difficulty.

Death from Above: “Primal Power” Destroyh the third Power Link in the “Death From Above” mission in less than 18 minutes on Normal difficulty.

The Reckoning: “We Are the Swarm” Clear all entrenched positions in “The Reckoning” mission in less than 18 minutes on Normal difficulty.

LEGACY OF THE VOID

-WHISPERS OF OBLIVION

Dark Whispers: “Raszagal’s Retribution” Destroy all Zerg structures before freeing all captive Protoss on the “Dark Whispers” mission on Normal difficulty.

Ghosts in the Fog: “Emission Regulation” Complete the “Ghosts in the Fog” mission without building a Robotics Facility or Stargate on Normal difficulty.

Evil Awoken: “Strike from the Shadows” Destroy the void Catalyst within 13 minutes in the “Evil Awoken” mission on Normal difficulty.

-LEGACY OF THE VOID

For Aiur!: “Your Life for Aiur!” Lose fewer than 25 units during the “For Aiur!” mission on Normal difficulty. (oh i fucking love this name)

The Growing Shadow: “Hide and Seek” Locate all 3 Void Pylons in “The Growing Shadow” mission in less than 10 minutes on Normal difficulty.

Spear of Adun: “You Must Defend Additional Pylons” Complete the “Spear of Adune” mission without losing a structure on Normal difficulty. (OH I FUCKING LOVE THIS NAME)

Sky Shield: “Spear Beats Shield” Kill 40 enemy units or structures with Orbital Strike or Solar Lance in the “Sky Shield” mission on Normal difficulty. (god the lotv names are all so good wtf)

Brothers in Arms: “The Units Less Warped” Complete the “Brothers in Arms” mission without constructing additional Immortals on Normal difficulty.

Templar’s Charge: “Expert Phase-Smith, Perfect Templar” Complete the “Templar’s Charge” mission without losing a unit on Normal difficulty.

Amon’s Reach: “Hidden Victory” Complete the “Amon’s Reach” mission by constructing only Probes and Dark Templar on Normal difficulty.

Last Stand: “For a Few Swarms More” Hold out until 2.3 billion Zerg arrive on Shakuras in the “Last Stand” mission on Normal difficulty.

Temple of Unification: “Unity, Precision, Perfection” Complete the “Temple of Unification” mission in less than 10 minutes on Normal difficulty.

The Infinite Cycle: “Warp Incomplete” Do not allow enemy Warp Prisms to warp in any units in “The Infinite Cycle” mission on Normal difficulty.

Harbinger of Oblivion: “Team Templar” Deal 1000 damage with High Templar or Archons in the “Harbinger of Oblivion” mission on Normal difficulty.

Forbidden Weapon: “Annihilation Now” Destroy all enemy structures in the “Forbidden Weapon” mission on Normal difficulty.

Unsealing the Past: “I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Shoot Up” Complete the “Unsealing the Past” mission by constructing only Probes and Colossus on Normal difficulty.

Purification: “Matrix Defensive” Complete the “Purification” mission without allowing the Purifier Core Matrix to take damage on Normal difficulty.

Steps of the Rite: “The Golden Curtain” Complete the “Steps of the Rite” mission without losing a structure to Amon’s forces on Normal difficulty.

Rak’Shir: “Timing Push” Complete the “Rak’Shir” mission in less than 12 minutes on Normal difficulty.

Templar’s Return: “Gold Split” Complete each section of the “Templar’s Return” mission with each group of heroes in less than 8 minutes on Normal difficulty.

The Host: “Double Tap” Destroy 2 Void Shards in “The Host” mission in less than 9 minutes on Normal difficulty.

Salvation: “Big Spear Diplomacy” complete the “Salvation” mission without using the Spear of Adun on Normal difficulty.

-INTO THE VOID

Into the Void: “Disintigration Doctrine” Destroy all enemy structures and complete the primary objective in the “Into the Void” mission in less than 28 minutes on Normal difficulty.

Essence of Eternity: “Time Is Money” Collect 18 resource pickups in the “Essence of Eternity” mission within 3 minutes on Normal difficulty.

Amon’s Fall: “A Grounded Approach” Complete the “Amon’s Fall” mission without morphing a Spire on Normal difficulty.

NOVA: COVERT OPS

The Escape: “Gotta Go Fast” Reach the Vulture Bike staging area within 5 minutes in the “The Escape” mission on Normal difficulty.

Sudden Strike: “Curiosity Killed the Zergling” Destroy 200 enemy forces with Spider Mines in the “Sudden Strike” mission on Normal difficulty.

Enemy Intelligence: “Fill’Er Up” Complete fill 5 garrisons within the first 10 minutes of the “Enemy Intelligence” mission on Normal difficulty.

Trouble in Paradise: “Someone Called for an Exterminator” Destroy all 6 Hatcheries before Zerg reinforcements arrive in the “Trouble in Paradise” mission on Normal difficulty.

Night Terrors: “Up Close and Personal” Complete the “Night Terrors” mission without building Siege Tanks or Liberators on Normal difficulty.

Flashpoint: “One Shot, One Opportunity” Destroy 50 enemy Zerg units with a single nuclear strike in the “Flashpoint” mission on Normal difficulty. (i hate One Shot, Fifty Kills, and this just sounds like a slightly less annoying version of that)

In the Enemy’s Shadow: “Subconscientious Objector” Kill fewer than 20 units in the “In the Enemy’s Shadow” mission on Normal difficulty.

Dark Skies: “Sunny with a High of 75″ Complete the “Dark Skies” mission without summoning a Gorgon on Normal difficulty.

End Game: “I Am... In-Nova-Table” Complete the “End Game” mission in less than 21 minutes on Normal difficulty.

#starcraft #starcraft 2 #starcraft ii #this took just under an hour so i hope people appreciate this

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natsunoomoi · 4 years

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Chinese Romance Novels in English

So by chance and obviously successful marketing, I’ve had a lot of web novel apps being advertised to me and out of boredom I downloaded one and got hooked real bad.

The first app I got I think I might delete because most of it seems like trash and was clearly like American wannabe writers. I kind of just read the first few chapters of one story that they happened to put into an advertised Facebook post and I just wanted to continue the story 1 or 2 chapters just to get off the cliffhanger, but the story itself actually isn’t that good and the character motivations seem kind of stupid. The main character also seems kind of like a Mary Sue where like she is just special by some huge coincidence of fate and it’s kind of annoying. Like the beginning part was alright, and then it took a sharp turn when the first guy she was into that rejected her decided for some stupid reason to challenge her new guy who accepted her and then when he claimed to not concede a fight to the death, he went absolutely apeshit and somehow it traveled into dark magic. Idek. Plus like...almost all the stories on that app for some reason have to do with wolf people and packs? Like it’s obviously some kind of trend inspired from Jacob and Twilight and I don’t even like that series. And in addition to that, it’s like on par with the famously former Twilight fanfiction 50 Shades where it has some really uncomfortable unhealthy depictions of BDSM relationships. Like it’s just kind of thrown in there for no reason...? Like whatever floats your boat, but you can totally write it in there in a more sensible way and not just like throw it in randomly. In that sense, maybe it’s actually worse than 50 Shades. Seriously a lot of the stories on there read like horribly written fanfiction by a 12 year old. I was 12 once and my stories then were no better because I had too many ideas and wanted them all in. That’s how much of a mess those stories are. This one I just mentioned is the better one. There’s another one I started reading that’s much worse that’s like a high school drama that I barely remember the story too, but I remember the person putting in a whole ton of One Direction lyrics, which I think is going to get the person and the app sued because lyrics are copyrighted and the writer shamelessly pointed out they are a Directioner and to unlock new chapters you need certain items that you can earn or buy and basically they’re definitely making money off of it.

But then similar to how I found this app, I found another app that had Chinese romance novels translated into English in the same way I found the previously mentioned app through a Facebook ad, which is cool cuz I don’t often get to read literally anything with main characters that are Chinese let alone Asian. Most of the Asian protagonist media I consume is from Japan and I just gave up on looking up anything in Chinese cuz I honestly didn’t know I could find any in English.

But damn, the quality of writing is rather good. The translations could use some work and consistency where sometimes the translator doesn’t know common English expressions or there’s grammatical mistakes in newer chapters or sometimes I think they’re speed translating too fast and accidentally mix up characters. But the story itself is top notch and suspenseful. I’ve been reading non-stop for the last week and a half and caught up and am awaiting new chapters. Sometimes there’s bits where character decisions are a little frustrating or like some of the plot twists are like again or like how come this person can’t catch a break, but I got invested in the story so quick.

There’s two in particular I’m enjoying right now. One is Irresistible Romance and the other is Thorny First Marriage on Bravonovel. It’s actually a bit pricey to charge for diamonds and pearls to continue the story, but I felt like it was worth it because I did want to read more and didn’t regret it. I actually started a third today just because I ran out of chapters in those two. Both are similar in that the male lead that the female protagonist is with or trying to get with is like a rich Chinese business man that is so well-known for their business acumen and power via their company that they can strike fear into the hearts of other people and companies. So there’s like some intrigue and like really fascinating maneuvers and media manipulation.

In Irresistible Romance, the main character is an actress that had a really shitty relationship with the loser President of her management company who was cheating on her with another actress and he had convinced his fiancee (the main character) to basically give up her life for him and help him to push the actress that he was ultimately having an affair with. The main character, Yan Wen, gives up the final straw when like he ditches her at the Marriage Registration Office for some lame excuse where he’s with his mistress and by chance the rich guy in this story shows up at the Registration Office and gets stood up by his own prospective fiancee although for him it was a random girl he picked from a pile just to satisfy his family getting on his case about not finding a wife. So basically because the main character grows a spine and decides fuck her fiance she’s not going to just take his bullshit, she asks the rich guy, Jiang Sui-an, if he’d mind marrying her. He totally accepts though and they get married on the spot. He seems at first to be kind of a cold-hearted jerk, but he’s actually super cool. Like he marries Yan Wen just to get his family off his back, but then after he does some research into his wife and finds her super interesting and as she begins her journey of trying to take back her life from her ex-fiancee and his stuck up bitch mistress, he like finds out and helps from the shadows and like realizes she’s actually super cool too. And then like through the whole process they actually fall for each other and are super sweet and have each other’s backs. They have a really beautiful and healthy relationship where they can each have their own separate lives and do their thing, but they get supported and help when needed.

It was so refreshing cuz like the rich CEO thing was like a huge fetish for sure especially after 50 Shades, but like a lot of people noted, that relationship was hella unhealthy. This story though, Sui-an lets Wen take her time fixing her career and life in her own way and like postpones announcing their marriage so she can set things right herself. He totally supports her space and her own decisions, but if he ever sees that she needs an extra boost or gets backed into a corner by some unexpected thing, he steps up and lends a hand. But ultimately he leaves everything up to her decision. And like on her end too, she’s totally a really good supportive wife and tries to make sure she doesn’t worry him too much and that he gets plenty of sleep and eats regularly, and she even tries to help him where she can with his work. They are so cute together. Along the way a lot of other people try to defame Wen or pull some shady entertainment world tactics, but she stays poised and lets the truth come out on its own or even does some defensive research and stuff. It’s so good.

Plus, writing-wise it’s really fascinating how they intertwine the online commentary tabloid headlines into the story so you can see different angles. And then when they write the antagonists’ sides they give you their internal dialog POV so you can understand the situation the best. The actual story and plot development is so good.

Then Thorny First Marriage, holy shit the intrigue. Plus for the most part, the main character is most like my personality only I’m not a former journalist. It’s just a lot of her reactions and sassy thoughts to things are really similar to me and how I feel like I would react if I was in her position. There’s a few times where she does things that I don’t think I would necessarily do or I would do things a bit more drastically, but so good and I identify with her. Writing-wise I don’t think it’s as good as Irresistible Romance because there’s been two times where they kind of forgot about something that they mentioned in an earlier chapter, so they have some issues keeping track of their plot twists, and there’s a few times where I’m reading like, “Why don’t you just tell them what happened and then they’d STFU?”

But yeah, this story starts out with the main character, Xia Zhi, waking up in the presidential suite of a hotel and not knowing how she got there and distinctly feeling like she was raped and finding some...remnants on the bed next to her. As the plot develops you find out that her asshole husband, who had never touched her himself for some reason and has the spine of jellyfish, sold her to some rich guy for 2 million bucks (she finds out later). What the actual hell? What kind of husband pimps his wife to another man?! And like she gets a pregnancy test later and somehow someone blabs to her mother-in-law and her mother-in-law totally doesn’t believe her and she knows that her son and her were never intimate, so she throws her out of the house. Then some dude that’s like some kind of secretary or assistant just comes by all stalker-like that appears to be from some rich guy that knows her and basically coerces her into going with them and going to some mystery safe house mansion. She’ll be cared for there by two staff, but she also tries to escape and find out who tf this guy is and if he’s the Dad. She still has a job and goes to work as a journalist, but gets assigned to interview some rich VP of a famous company. All the while she’s trying to get a hold of her asshole husband to find out what the hell happened to her that night she didn’t remember where she got super frickin’ drunk at his company party. This dick has been in hiding and trying to avoid her for some reason since that night and he finally calls back in the middle of her interview and because she’s freaking out about her unexplained pregnancy she unprofessionally takes the call. The rich VP, Sang Qi, ends up calling her boss and getting her fired, which I mean, obviously. That’s a thing where I probably wouldn’t have taken the call. One of the differentiating things between her and me. But how she reacts to being fired, yeah, that’s totally me. She runs into Sang Qi later at a rich people shopping mall shop and somehow manages to steal his phone and starts a plotline where she tries to use it as leverage to like get back at him and make a living for herself that also involves him being crafty and like kind of tricking her into some situations like confronting her ex-husband. And then like at some point she remembers a custom cufflink she remembered finding in the room she woke up in that one time and starts to wonder and suspect if maybe Sang Qi was the guy cuz he does have those kinds of things. And she like looks at the cufflink she has that she took from the room as evidence, but she has to do a direct comparison. He like uses GPS to find her mansion prison and tries to take back his phone and Zhi gets like even more suspicious that he is the guy cuz for some reason he knows how the balcony door at the place works even though it has a weird af lock, and they have witty banter and somehow he ends up staying over and she tries to sneak in his room at night to check out his cufflink but he catches her. And like hot damn, so much intrigue. After like a ton of frustration with trying to interrogate everyone around her about who the baby Daddy is she’s just like f it, I’m not going to be your baby incubator and tries to go get an abortion (I would’ve gone way sooner) and before they can start the procedure Sang Qi shows up and claims to be the Dad, and then afterward also takes care of her because she’s allergic to anesthetic. Since she knows who now they like stay together and stuff and she tries to question him about that night, but he actually has no memory of it either cuz he was super frickin’ drunk too. It’s just a lot of unanswered questions. And like since he’s supposedly the Dad, he tries to get closer to her, but she won’t let him really. There’s a lot of witty banter between them and like he even helps her out with her loser husband by getting him demoted. Over time they actually become fond of each other and like used to each other, and it’s really sweet. He actually is there for her and helps her on a number of occasions even though she doesn’t really trust him cuz of course he bought her right? But then little by little you see them really start to like each other and it seems like he might be more interested whereas Zhi is like more reserved because he’s her captor as far as she knows. But then just when you think that maybe they’ll get together, Qi disappears and then the process of him showing up you find out who the actual Dad is and a whole lot of family drama, and other drama where like you actually don’t know where Qi stands, and it like isn’t until like where I am that you find out he was actually upright the whole time. It’s so stressful but it’s so good.

There was a couple of times earlier one where there’s misunderstandings with other people, where I was like, dude, just tell the people your asshole husband sold you for money. I think they’d be more understanding of your situation if they knew.

And then like...for me, I like Qi and I came around to him after awhile, but like I suspected him and didn’t like him toward the beginning especially because he didn’t do or say anything that made him seem trustworthy. He never really lies except for one thing (about being the father), but also he like isn’t that truthful either, or rather, he doesn’t stop to actually explain himself properly which would have made Zhi not like freak out or mistrust him and would have made me not mistrust him. Like I shared a lot of Zhi’s fears because she was in an unfamiliar situation and being manipulated like a puppet by someone with money, and this guy claims to be the one that bought her like an object to be a baby incubator. I and the main character can’t respect that no matter how nice he is. If he admit he didn’t do it at the beginning it would have made all the difference. It’s a trek to find out who though. And at first even that guy sounds disgusting, but like where I am in the story maybe not? Like almost sympathetic.

The only one that I like really hate and disgusts me is her original husband. Like eww. He’s such a greedy asshole. And like later on you find out that actually he lied to her about how much he sold her for and it was actually more. What the actual fuck?! It wasn’t bad enough that you sold your wife for money, but you had to lie to her too about how much it was so you can hide the money from her? And for such a long frickin’ time he tried to coax her to come back and to not divorce him. What the actual hell? What kind of delusion is he living in?! But like also her original husband reminds me of someone I knew in real life when I was in uni. He was a friend of mine initially, but at some point he started making really uncomfortable jokes and it seemed like he liked me or something. I never viewed him that way, but we just hung out. And then at my uni because there was a huge rush to like try to figure out 2nd year housing, we arranged to do a co-ed roommate situation where like me and another girl and him and his friend would stay in apartment from our second year. To me that seemed normal cuz other friends of mine did that too because there’s only so many people you know and you have to try to snatch up and apply for apartments as soon as possible. There were long wait lines and I actually hadn’t thought about it until the last minute, so I didn’t see it as having much of a choice. But he started making cracks and fantasizing about neighbors and people misunderstanding and thinking we were married, which I didn’t find funny and how and why when there were other people we were living with too? It made me super uncomfortable and during the summer he was kind of like a stalker and tracking where I went so I just started avoiding him every chance I could. After awhile thinking about him made me feel physically ill. The next year after that my roommate decided to move out with two other girls into a different apartment (after unsuccessfully trying to make him leave). But the whole thing with how Zhi’s first husband was written totally reminded me of that guy. Especially with the lame excuses when confronted and stuff and not thinking and his unhealthy tie to his parents’ way of living.

That said, finding these stories are kind of like an unexpected comfort. I wish I could find someone as supportive as Sui-an or Qi. Especially when the men I’ve met in my life were just as bad as some of the other male characters or arguably worse. I’ve been bullied by the guys I fell for, I’ve liked some guys that were way too moody, I’ve had guys that liked me that were not creepy too, but I just wasn’t interested in them or the timing was just wrong, I’ve given up someone I really cared for because a mutual friend of ours crossed a line and then posthumously went kind of crazy from the grief, and I’ve met guys that were really fucking stupid and didn’t know how to act appropriately in a professional situation and actually sexually harassed and retaliated against me. I’m so tired and almost 4 years into living in Japan, I’m starting to realize that because of that last one, I think I gave up on my life because of trauma. Just hurt too many times, so don’t even think about love anymore cuz why bother? It took awhile for me to even be able to become a functioning human being again after the PTSD of harassment. I was really bad and freaking out because the guy that did it was so frickin’ stupid that he like wasn’t actually responsible enough to know the things he shouldn’t do and it was freaking me the hell out that he just didn’t know when he crossed a line. So I ran away to another country and tried to rebuild some semblance of a life for myself. Now my home country is a goddamn mess and I’d be in a worse position to go home, but at the same time, although my heart has healed enough to the point that I can function as a human. I am not at all motivated to look for anyone or let myself care for someone ever again. When I was younger I had so many dreams and really wanted a family. But now I am sad to say I have resigned myself to believing that that will probably never happen because I am apparently plagued by horrible people. I haven’t met horrible people since I’ve been in Japan, but I also don’t go out and talk to anyone other than co-workers and students because I’m busy and in my free time I want to introvert. It’d be kind of nice if I was lucky and had a kind of random chance like Yan Wen cuz like, I just can’t and don’t want to put up with low quality people.

That said, I was talking with my boss and co-worker the other day and we were discussing how China’s population problem with the bachelor society so there’s a lot of men but less available women to be their wife, so I was kind of wondering if that was also kind of how come so many modern day Chinese romance novels seem to involve a rich CEO. I suppose in China right now the chance that you could marry one is greater than anywhere else in the world because of the population problem, so maybe they’re trying to promote moving there and marrying them. LOL I’d be kind of suspicious of whether or not they’d be able to be like actually good husbands for real, but I suppose there probably is some sense of desperation.

And then because I ran out of chapters to read for today because I have to wait for them to translate more, I started another one about a Bossy Ghost Husband? It’s kind of creepy at the beginning, but the ghost husband thing has been something I was kind of curious about because you can marry the dead in China. But like for real I also wondered if youkai really are real or not and if you could unknowingly marry a youkai or something too, so basically it’s right up my alley too. And then also because my life is garbage I was like seriously thinking and wondering if it would actually be so bad to be single to the people who know you around you, but married actually to a ghost and have a ghost husband to go home to? Like would that actually be bad? I suppose in that same vein, it’s not much different from WoL having a secret relationship with Emet-Selch, but yeah.

Anyway, all of this gave me a lot to think about.

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thatboomerkid · 6 years

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Seven Steps of Horrific Inevitability

Seven Steps of Horrific Inevitability -- Pathfinder Time Thief Drawback

There are consequences for dabbling in manipulation of the time-stream.

And there is simple term for what you are: doomed.

Some creatures born with your gifts could survive nearly forever ... living long enough to watch the stars fade dull crimson & burn out in some far-distant age, ruling over the cold shadows cast by the last toppled skyscraper, perched upon a throne of rusted rebar -- slick with a rime of red ichor beneath alien moons -- attended by the mewling, degenerate, flailing descendants of the last splinter bloodline of your long-vanished species.

Not you.

You know what awaits you, and soon ... if a thousand lesser dark fates & lurking monstrosities don’t get you first. Hell, you’ll be lucky to live fast, die young and leave behind a charred, smoldering and barely-recognizable corpse.

Brought to you absolutely free to enjoy, to test & to share – as always – by the fine folks of my Patreon.

Inspired by – and with hugest of thanks to – both Owen KC Stephens & Wizards of Eldritch Americana on Goblin Punch

original image from here

Prerequisite: Time Thief or Cityskin Warlock with the motes of time class feature or the Chronothurge Adept feat; see Special, below

Effect: At the end of any round in which you have spent a mote of time, you must roll 1d20. If you roll a 1, you gain [1d4-1] Horrific Inevitability tokens.

However, if you spent more than one mote of time in the last round, you instead gain 1d4 Horrific Inevitability tokens.

In addition, each year on your birthday you must roll 1d20. If you roll a 1, you gain 1d4 Horrific Inevitability tokens.

Once per day, immediately upon expending a mote of time, you may choose not to pay the cost and to instead willingly accept a single Horrific Inevitability token. You do not need to roll for the normal chance to gain additional Horrific Inevitability tokens at the end of such a round.

In addition, your total number of Horrific Inevitability tokens cannot be lower than your total Hit Dice.

For example: Doktor X. Nihilo is a Bomb-Throwing Radical Firebrand Anarchist with this Drawback; he possess a total of three Hit Dice and four Horrific Inevitability tokens. After gaining his fifth Horrific Inevitability token, he decides to start being a lot more careful ... and he messes with the time-stream significantly less often, gaining no additional Horrific Inevitability tokens for several months. Upon reaching his 6th character level, however, his total number of Horrific Inevitability tokens automatically increases to six.

If gaining a new level causes you to reach a particularly dangerous Horrific Inevitability benchmark (see below), you may freely choose to delay gaining the level -- and thus experiencing your Temporal Maelstrom state -- until you are in a safe (or at least desolated or unpopulated) environment.

When you reach certain Horrific Inevitability benchmarks, detailed below, you enter a special Temporal Maelstrom state. While in this state, you gain all the benefits and drawbacks of each of the following effects:

alignment shifts to Chaotic Evil

fire shield (both warm shield and cold shield effects; the damage dealt by your shield is type-less, as per the disintegrate spell, rather than dealing either cold damage or fire damage)

fly

haste

insanity

whenever you expend a mote of time, there is a 50/50 chance that your mote of time is immediately returned

you may not gain Horrific Inevitability tokens while in your Temporal Maelstrom state

If any of these effects are suppressed, countered or dispelled while your Temporal Maelstrom state persists, the effect resumes again immediately at the beginning of your next round.

You enter this state at the following benchmarks:

0 tokens (when this Drawback is first gained) -- Temporal Maelstrom state lasts 1 round

5 tokens -- Temporal Maelstrom state lasts 2d6 rounds

10 tokens -- Temporal Maelstrom state lasts 2d6 minutes

15 tokens -- Temporal Maelstrom state lasts 2d6 hours

20 tokens -- Temporal Maelstrom state lasts 2d6 days

25 tokens -- Temporal Maelstrom state lasts 2d6 months

30 tokens -- Temporal Maelstrom state is permanent

Any creature permanently trapped within a Temporal Maelstrom acts as a beacon for Tindalos Stalkers and far more powerful predators of the time-stream; no such creature has survived longer than seven years before being destroyed.

Horrific Inevitability tokens may not be removed by any known means.

Special: You may, if you choose, select both this and another Drawback such as Arcane Bonds of Obedience, Buried Memories, Chained to Mortal Whim or Warded Against Nature. If you do so, you may gain a single feat instead of gaining a Trait.

Campaign Note: This curse is most-common amongst the utterly mad and nihilistic, especially those with the Gravity Warps Time and Dancer Upon the Soul of Time feats. Some are Chaotic Neutral worshipers of Shyka the Many, but they are rare in the extreme.

It should be noted that servants of Yhidothrus, obsessed beyond all other concerns with raw self-preservation, hunt-after and ritualistically slay any creature known to carry this foul contagion: to them, allowing such a creature to live is seen as the only thing worse than blasphemous: it is foolhardy.

———

NOTE:

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#pathfinder #time thief #horror #mind screw #drawbacks #Demon Lord

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ancientbooshartifacts · 5 years

Text

Mistletoe Threeway

Author: Easilyled & Accio_arse

Year: 2008

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Howard/Dennis

“Why are you looking at me that way, Howard?” Vince was stood behind the counter of the Nabootique, leaning on it nonchalantly and picking at the voluminous sleeve of his diaphanous, vaguely ethnic smock, as if there weren’t a ball of mistletoe floating in the air above his head. “I’m not looking at you, am I?” Howard snapped mildly. “I’m looking at the thing above your head. What’s that about?” “It’s genius, isn’t it?” Vince enthused. “Basically, it’s mistletoe specially treated with anti-hairspray. The chemicals in the treated mistletoe simultaneously attract and repel the chemicals in the hairspray – sold separately – and create a sort of powerful festive force field. They’re like two magnets, yeah? Or like the moon held in the earth’s gravitational embrace.” Vince embraced the air to demonstrate, his eyes closed and his pursed-lipped face a mask of serene bliss. Howard tried to keep his own face blank, but couldn’t quite suppress a tic of a twitch affecting the entire right side of his face. He automatically swatted at it, like a fly, making Vince assume an expression of horror, which Howard feigned not to see. “And the point of that is?” he asked. Vince took his cue from Howard and ignored his friend’s symptoms of imminent mental breakdown. “What do you mean, what’s the point? It’s to fit in as much kissing during Chrimbo as possible!” “It’s called a hat and wire.” “Where’s your Vision, Howard?” “Occupied with more important things.” “Oh yeah, like what?” “Like creating an utopic society based on the model of Stationery Village. Lester Corncrake has already agreed to join.” “Lester Corncrake is a Disembodied Head.” “And so will we all be in Stationery Republic, Vince. It’s about getting past the body. Just… moving past it. Like an undertaker in the night.” “Okay, that went in so many creepy directions, I don’t even know where to begin. Anyway, the Airborne Mistletoe is part of my line.” “Your ‘line’? You have a ‘line’ now?” “’Course I do. The Vince Noir Futuristic Traditions Line.” Howard quirked an eyebrow. “That’s pretty good, actually,” he half-muttered into his mustache. “Thought so.” “It’ll never sell though,” Howard pronounced, poking the floating mistletoe experimentally with a pencil, wearing a little tight smile of triumph that was somewhat unpleasant to see. “Easy, you off-sale Scroogist. Why not? Who doesn’t like kissing?” “That much kissing? With randoms off the street? Street-randoms? The thing’s a death-magnet.” He gave it another, more aggressive poke before Vince could duck away. “Especially at this time of year. Imagine the germs!” “You imagine the germs! And touch my line again –” “Touch your what now?” “- an’ I’ll obliviate you.” “Oh yeah? That sounds serious, sir.” “Maybe it is. So you’d better just… watch yourself. In case.” Howard shook his head, arms akimbo, eyes lit up strangely as he continued to stare at Vince’s tiny holidaytastic satellite. “It’s nothing but an invitation to pneumonia.” “Well it’s definitely not an invitation to you.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah. And your poking.” “Just don’t come crying to me, squealing like a hungry piglet – “Ooooooh, where’s Mama Sow’s sweet gushing nipple –” Vince gagged audibly, which Howard ignored. “– when your wanton, derelict kissing –” “Derelict kissing!?” “- when it lands you in the hospital, with a machine, a thing of metal and… dials, doing your breathing for you.” “Slow down there, Mama Sow! Don’t start composing me eulogy yet. This is not for me, is it? I’m just using it to demonstrate.” “To demonstrate what?” “The – product!” Secretly gleeful that Vince had meandered into his trap, Howard made a sweeping gesture with his arm indicating Vince’s form, which was clearly visible (almost audible, Howard thought) in the inadequate covering of a loose smock, as flimsy as a sigh, over his clinging silver jumpsuit. “And what exactly is the product?” The door opened then with a tingle of shop-bells, heralding the arrival of a pretty young woman with a brunette fringe, in a sunshine-yellow pea coat that made Vince forget Howard’s insinuation and brighten like a child handed a toy. “Alright?” he greeted her. Howard felt a sharp twinge of anxiety in his stomach as she instantly returned Vince’s grin. But then her smile faltered. “What’s – that over your head?” Howard grinned maniacally, waiting. But Vince didn’t miss a beat – he only smiled wider. “It’s Airborne Mistletoe. Follows you wherever you go. So you don’t have to take your chances, hoping to catch your Special Someone at the right moment.” Howard’s face fell faster than a shy soufflé as he saw that the girl was charmed. “That’s so romantic!” she cried. “Romantic!” Howard thundered before he could stop himself. “Romantic is… setting a trap! Following your beloved around! Don’t worry – I mean secretly! Learning their habits, like a predator in the wild. Deciding where to plant the mistletoe. Then waiting, lurking in the shadows, for them to walk by the spot – so you can pretend it’s a coincidence. If necessary, setting up a hammock, in case you have to wait in the spot a few days, and making a small or smallish fire, to cook your omelets. THAT, you know-nothing Camden mannequins, is ROMANTIC.” Howard paused for breath, while the girl looked at him as if deciding whether to scream. Vince watched her with concern. “Don’t mind him, yeah?” he said hurriedly, coming around the counter and taking her elbow gently. “He’s – practicing a part for a play. He’s playing a rapist stalker mentalist.” He shot Howard a look that was half-exasperated, half-pleading. “Tone down the mental, would you, Hamlet? You’re scaring the customers.” “You’re in a play?” The girl looked at Howard with new interest, and palpable relief. “You’re very good!” Howard simply snarled at her, making her jump and cling to Vince, who rolled his eyes and patted her back comfortingly. “Anyway. What do you think of my invention? It’s part of my new line – Futuristic Traditions.” Lost in the warm bubbly bath of Vince’s attention, the girl had forgotten Howard and his psychotic ranting already. She giggled and replied, “Well – I’d like to try it out first, before I commit myself.” “Huh? Oh, yeah! Sure.” Vince leaned in obligingly for the kiss. Howard watched, torn between disbelief and rage, as Vince launched himself at the girl’s face, nibbling expertly at her lips. And felt himself die slightly inside as he thought he caught Vince momentarily suck on her tongue – before the little tart slid it deep in Vince’s mouth. For months now, ever since his *coughcough* 32nd *cough* birthday, Howard had secretly been telling himself that even though the rest had been a lie, a desperate manoeuvre to keep the Head Shaman from ceremoniously decapitating him – that Vince couldn’t have sucked on his tongue that way without feeling some kind of attraction – of deep, powerful, molten attraction – for Howard. But of course – that was only the naïve impression of a virgin, wasn’t it? It was just a technique – like everything Vince did. Unique and flawless and designed to maximally please. And completely impersonal. Howard often wondered if Vince got any personal pleasure out of anything he did, or if his only pleasure consisted of pleasing others. Right now, however, he was causing Howard excruciating pain as he and the girl continued to snog endlessly, relentlessly, panting and slurping away, making Howard’s skin crawl even as his stomach contracted into a ball of angry jealousy as dense as a collapsed star. He might have lost his kissing virginity that night on the roof, but he was losing his illusions only now – those precious illusions he’d always been so afraid would go swirling down the putrid urinal of experience when the rest of it went. And then, as he continued to watch avidly as if their faces were the urinal and he was trying to catch in them the last traces of his illusions as they swirled down the dirty drain (or some such confused metaphor, Howard wasn’t thinking particularly clearly) Vince snuck a glance at him out of the corner of his eye. A glance that a neutral observer might have described as “opaque,” or perhaps, at a stretch, as seductive in its heavy-lidded haziness, but that Howard, who was far from neutral, instantly read as mischievous and mocking. And reacted, with the same instantaneousity, by charging at Vince and grabbing him by the smock, but unable to gain a purchase on that wisp of smoke, took him by the throat instead, and not only broke off the endless kiss, but shook the mistletoe creation out of its hold. It dropped to the floor with a decidedly unfestive thud, inert, and Howard shook Vince like a rag-doll while the girl shrieked, and Howard laughed, awfully. And Vince choked and stared at Howard with glassy disbelieving goggle-eyes, a squeak attempting to emerge from his throat and turn into a plea, but it was too late. “It’s too late!” Howard shouted, shattering his fantasy – and also the kiss taking place in front of him. “I’ll take it,” the girl told Vince when she’d caught her breath. “50 euros,” Vince replied, looking with concern at the stockroom, where Howard had disappeared, slamming the door behind him. He was inside giving himself discreet Chinese burns. * Howard wouldn’t come out no matter how often Vince knocked on the door during the day. Vince was left to handle the pre-Christmas rush by himself. He told Vince that he was reorganizing the stockroom to make its arrangement more logical – which was actually true, and very soothing. Vince’s sales figures were so good that Naboo let him off early. They closed up the shop and had champagne, then set off for a night on the town. Vince didn’t try to get Howard to come out again – he was angry at him by now. He didn’t know what had set Howard off that way, or what right Howard had to be upset. He’s the one who’d rejected Vince’s unspoken offer to go for the Mistletoe Threeway. Just because Howard was so fastidious was no reason to hurt his friend’s feelings that way. Everything had been crap between them, anyway, ever since The Roof. Everything they usually did suddenly turned Weird. The midnight crimping grew awkward – Howard had even suggested that they each get their own bedrooms (or more precisely, that Vince move into the cupboard). He pretended it was because Vince woke him up by always coming in late, but why weren’t the snail-shell earplugs Vince had made for him (at the cost of two snails’ homes) good enough for that anymore? And when Vince tried to bring things back to normal by suggesting a bout of satsuma-throwing in their vests and pants, Howard made excuses, saying that he needed to go round to Lester Corncrake’s and feed him. Like he was a chia pet. He’d rather spend time with a blind head than with Vince these days. “He’s right,” Vince said, biting his lip. “It’s too late.” “It only two a.m.!” Bollo replied, grooving on the dancefloor, where Vince had suddenly stopped moving. “Get with it, Vince.” And began to sing, “’But if my Daddy say I fine – No, no, no!’” He grabbed Vince by his delicate wrist and pulled him in close, grinding his generous ape-hips against Vince’s slender lady-man ones. “Show-off,” Vince thought. Back at the shop, Howard had finally gained the courage to emerge from the stockroom, and had managed to exhaust himself with obsessive-compulsive rearranging to the point where he thought he might be able to sleep. As he was stumbling his way to the stairwell, a towering figure stepped out of the shadows. Howard balked, catching the menacing glint of a sword, and the duller one of a bald head, in the softly glowing fairylights. “Howard Moon,” boomed Dennis, the Head Shaman. “Where’s your little boyfriend?” “Probably at the disco, pulling,” Howard grumbled. He was in no mood to pretend to be a gayist, or even coherent. And remembering Lester Corncrake’s fate made him burn with indignation at this disgusting bully’s presence in his shop. “What do you want, sir?” To Howard’s surprise, Dennis lowered his eyes as if confused. Was that a rosy blush creeping into his cheeks, mingling with the blue and green of the fairylights? “Is the blind mental around? I feel slightly sheepish for what I did to him.” “Lester Corncrake’s Head is at home, sir, sleeping. As you should be.” Was the bloody-minded Shaman Warrior fidgeting? “Wife threw me out,” he muttered at last. “Really?” Howard replied with heavy sarcasm. “You seemed so happy together. Is your plan to crash at Naboo’s, then? He’s out with Vince – but I suppose you can get into his flat using your magic, or sword, or however you got in here.” “They left the door unlocked.” “Oh. Fair enough.” Howard made a move towards the beaded curtain that separated the shop from the corridor, but Dennis grabbed his arm. “Wait!” Howard stiffened, and closed his eyes, waiting for the blade to fall. But Dennis released him. “I’m lonely. I need someone to talk to.” “Don’t you have any friends? Never mind,” Howard answered himself. He sighed, then fetched stools for both of them. “Got anything to drink?” Dennis asked eagerly, settling himself onto a stool. Howard knew now that he wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight. * Vince tried to be quiet as he entered his and Howard’s dark bedroom. The sky was lightening outside, but the blush of the sunrise hadn’t yet reached the tops of the surrounding buildings. He stripped off his jumpsuit, sweaty from the night of dancing, and tossed it on the floor with the others, then prepared to crawl into bed carefully. Howard didn’t like being touched – except sometimes, at night, he was up for a cuddle, after a long emotional bout of crimping. But lately Vince had thought it better not to risk it. Vince shrieked as his limbs unexpectedly encountered a meaty form on his side of the bed. He disentangled himself as quickly as he could, falling onto the floor. “Vince?” On the other side of the bed – Howard’s side – someone had sat up. Vince recognized Howard’s outline. “Howard! There’s someone sleeping in our bed!” “Yeah, I know that, Baby Bear.” Suddenly it dawned on Vince what was happening. He felt a perfect fool. “Howard! Did you -?” “What?” Howard shimmied to the end of the bed and climbed off. He came towards Vince. “Keep it down,” he told him. “It’s the Head Shaman.” “Howard!” Vince shrieked. Howard reflexively grabbed the back of Vince’s head and clamped a hand over his mouth. He was crouched in front of Vince – still in his clothes, which he’d worn to bed, while Vince was sprawled on the floor, legs out in front of him, propped up by his hands, naked. They always went to bed naked, but Howard hadn’t felt that was appropriate, or in fact safe, when the drunken Head Shaman had asked if he could sleep in Howard’s bed – especially after his comments about Howard’s pumpkin ass and questions about his waxing habits. Behind Howard’s hand, muffled laughter began to emerge from Vince. Howard looked severely into his friend’s bulbous eyes, which glistened with excited mischief in the dark room. “Will you be quiet now?” Howard asked, and removed his hand, rubbing it against his trousers to take the tickle away. He didn’t really want to hear anything Vince would say, but felt that staying that way looking at each other any longer involved an obscure danger. “Howard!” Vince whispered, still giggling under his breath. “You had it off with the Head Shaman?” “No!” Howard shouted. Dennis stirred on the bed and muttered in his sleep. “Methuselah – no! Not the squash racket!” “No,” Howard repeated, hissing it quietly and angrily this time. “He had an argument with his wife and came here. He got wasted and passed out.” “You mean – you’ve still not had it off then?” Vince asked, his face serious now. “Why would I let you know if I did?” Howard asked, aware that he sounded slightly sulky. “So you can put it on MySpace?” “I’d never do that, Howard.” Vince smiled at him, stroking his arm soothingly. Howard let him – it was the first time in months Howard had let him. “Really?” “Of course not. I’m on Facebook now. MySpace is for pensioners and Lily Allen fans.” But Howard could tell he was teasing, and couldn’t help smiling a little. And he didn’t push him away when Vince grasped his upper arms and pulled Howard towards him – and then they were kissing again, and Howard couldn’t believe it could be as good the second time as the first. Their mouths parted against each other, and Vince ran his tongue along the side of Howard’s – and suddenly the intrusive image of a bright yellow pea coat burst into Howard’s mind, like a blossoming migraine, and he pulled away. Vince opened his eyes, startled, and looked at Howard in bewilderment. There was light in the room now, and the pain in Howard’s eyes was so laceratingly clear Vince felt like he’d been slapped. “Go on. Why did you stop?” Vince and Howard started, and Howard turned his head. Dennis was sitting upright on the bed, facing them, arms folded, his sword resting across his lap. “Go on, I said. I want to see more of this. So you’re a virgin, are you, Moon? How… piquant. But it can’t be very easy on your boyfriend.” “He’s not my boyfriend!” Howard nearly screamed in frustration. Dennis’s silver alien eyes narrowed and flitted from Howard to Vince. “So – you’re not in love?” “I am,” Vince said quickly. “I am, but he’s not.” “How can you say that?” Howard demanded. “I’m not the one who goes around kissing everyone I meet – and in exactly the same way!” “What are you talking about, you strap-on sushi kit?” “About the fact that there’s no passion – no soul – behind anything you do, Vince!” “I try to make people happy! I try to make you happy! And the thanks I get is you accusing me of having no soul?” “I want you to try to make me happier than you make other people – happy!” “If you could tell me what to do to not make you always angry that would be a start!” “I just did tell you!” “What? I’m lost.” “Enough arguing!” Dennis stood, gripping his sword. “I liked the kissing better. Do the kissing again.” “Are you some kind of pervert?” Vince asked him. “Yes,” Dennis replied. “A pervert with a very big sword.” “Point.” Vince cast his eyes downward, distressed. There was no escape. * “I’m sure this isn’t what you wanted your first time to be,” Vince apologized to Howard, who was now naked as well, lying on the bed, on his back, with his knees bent, with Vince lying on top of him. Vince stared at the wall over Howard’s head, Howard at Vince’s small white shoulder. “Actually, I just wanted it to be a time,” Howard replied. Their eyes met briefly, and Howard attempted a reassuring smile. Instinctively, he planted an affectionate kiss on Vince’s shoulder, then lay his head back on the pillow. Vince bit his lip and his face dipped shyly, but he kept his eyes on Howard’s. “I’ll try to make it good.” “Don’t try!” Howard replied, with an edge of yearning in his voice that made Vince shiver with alertness. “That’s what I’m saying! You don’t always have to be the best and brightest with the biggest bounciest hair! Just – do what you feel, yeah?” “Start fucking!” Dennis barked. “Mate – why don’t you make yourself useful!” Vince snapped. Dennis took a step towards the bed. “Not like that! We could use a little something to – ease the process. Make a soft landing. Yeah?” “I’m not following you.” “Don’t play dumb, magic-boy. All extreme sports calendar models do anal. Everyone knows that.” “Oh! You want cooking oil!” “Exactly. Run to the kitchen, would you, love?” Dennis left the room reluctantly, watching them over his shoulder as he went. “Don’t do anything until I get back!” As soon as he was gone, Vince leapt out of the bed and locked the door, then leaned against it. Howard sat up and watched as Vince slid down the door, collapsing in front of it. When he was sat on the floor he pulled his skinny legs up to his chest and put his arms around them, his head back against the door, apparently scrutinizing the ceiling. Feeling more than a little self-conscious, Howard nevertheless got out of bed and went to him. He knelt beside Vince and waited, but when Vince made no move to acknowledge him, Howard made the first move. “Alright, little man?” he asked tentatively, daring only to brush Vince’s hair off his shoulder. “I can’t do it, Howard!” Vince groaned, shaking his head in a pique, which made the hair immediately fall back in place. Automatically, Howard brushed it away again, slightly hypnotized, this time letting his fingers drag against the smooth, soft surface of the curve of Vince’s neck. “I don’t mind, honestly. It’s probably time to get it over with, isn’t it?” “I mean I can’t perform under this pressure!” He looked at Howard wildly. “You know about me and pressure! I expect perfection of myself, and what happens? I fold like a pup tent in a strong breeze! So to speak.” He cast his eyes down between his legs ashamedly. Howard smiled dreamily, now playing with Vince’s ear, his finger tracing its whorls. “You mean like that time at school when you were cast in the play?” “I was just playing a tree! All I had to do was stand there and hold me leaves up!” “Instead you panicked because you didn’t feel like you were doing enough, and started body-popping.” “For twenty minutes! I couldn’t figure out how to get off!” “The audience loved it, though. They cheered you on. I was playing the lead, but they all forgot about me. I had to abandon the speech I’d written especially for my character at a crucial moment in his trajectory.” “You mean when he loses his hat?” “The director always undersold the psychological ramifications of that incident.” “Yeah. I never apologized for that, did I, Howard?” “No. But it doesn’t matter. I’m a shit writer.” “Howard.” Vince turned to look at Howard, and took Howard’s face in his hand. Vince’s hand was surprisingly warm. Howard smiled at him, and reached over and took up his other hand. He brought it to his mouth and bit Vince’s knuckles lightly, still smiling, and then held it under his chin. “Why so serious? It’s not like you’re killing someone. And it’s not for real, is it? It’s just some pervert’s fantasy.” “I want it to be for real,” Vince said, holding Howard’s eyes. They both wanted to look away, and neither did. The moment was held too long – and then longer. And then it started to feel not strange, but right, and Howard’s face moved closer to Vince’s, and Vince’s hand snaked around from Howard’s face through his hair to the back of his neck, which was burningly hot. The door vibrated with Dennis’s pounding. “Did I miss anything? I made popcorn!” Vince stamped his foot on the floor. “This is never going to happen!” “Don’t make me teleport in there!” Dennis warned from the other side of the door. Howard stood, sighing, wincing as his joints creaked, and returned to the bed. He resumed the devirginization position and waited. “Vince?” Several minutes had passed, and Howard was starting to wonder what was going on, as well as getting cold. “I’m right here.” Vince appeared at the side of the bed so suddenly that Howard felt unnerved instead of relieved. Before he could process that feeling, however, Vince had climbed on top of him, in a strangely business-like manner. He examined Howard’s face closely and speculatively, as if it were a foreign object whose meaning he was trying to determine. “Vince?!” Howard asked again. “Right here! You’re a remarkably handsome man, you know.” “I am!? Oh. Yeah. ‘Course I am. You don’t need to tell Howard Moon that…. I was voted Total Hottie of 2007 by the Librarians Who Like Jazz Association. What happened to the Head Shaman?” “He probably got a call on his mobile from his wife.” “Oh… that makes sense.” “Now, Howard. I should fairly inform you that I’ve never done this before.” “You haven’t?” “I never even considered it before that night on the roof. But I’ve done a lot of deflowering of virgins in my time.” “You have!?” “This ought to be doubly pleasurable, seeing as how it’ll also be a defloration of myself.” “It will!?” “My manginity. Right. Let’s do this thing.” Vince’s lips against Howard’s were brutal, pressing down, smothering him. His tongue forced its way into Howard’s mouth, apparently searching out his tonsils. Howard wanted to protest, to push him away, overwhelmed, but his cock sprang up rebelliously, hardening against Vince’s. At last Vince pulled back. He licked his lips thoughtfully. “Mmmmmm… good. You like it?” He grabbed Howard’s cock and pumped it in his hand, roughly. “Vince,” Howard panted, “I don’t mean to criticize, but… where’s the romance?” “I’ll send you flowers after, baby. If you suck my cock like a good little woman.” “NO!” Howard grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him away, onto the bed. He scrambled on top of Vince and held him down easily with his greater weight and strength, but their erections remained squished together in a hot damp mass, throbbing, as Howard tried to regain hold of his senses. Vince was laughing, his sweaty fringe in his eyes, his eyes glittering beneath, black locks splayed against the pillow. “What are you doing?” Howard demanded, trying to make it all make sense. “I don’t even know you!” Something in Howard’s tone brought Vince to calm, but a malevolent smirk soon crept onto his face, and his clearly-formed words cut deep into Howard. “But I know you. Cut the bullshit. You don’t want gentleness or tenderness. You want to be taken like a bitch. Now lie down like a good boy and let Daddy tie you up and take care of you.” Howard stared at him another moment in disbelief. Then a little whimper escaped his throat involuntarily, and slowly he nodded. “Yes, sir, Daddy, sir.” Howard lay on his back and raised his arms for Vince’s ministrations. He closed his eyes and sighed as he heard bedsheets being torn. Then felt the material, cool and strangely scratchy, against his wrists. “Tighter,” he instructed, frowning. “No more talking, dickhead,” Vince told him, and shoved a thumb up Howard’s arse, without preparation. After a moment, Howard pushed against it. It felt ridiculously painful, like someone had stuck a small fire up his bum. Wincing, he whispered, “Vince… is this it? Are we having sex?” Vince laughed back, harshly. Howard looked confused. “I just thought - since you’re inside me, and…” “Fool! Aren’t you ever going to shut up?” Using the flat of his hand, Vince slapped Howard hard across the face. At the same time, he used his thumb inside to punctuate every word with a violent motion up. At every dry stab, Howard shuddered. Vince changed tactics. With Howard’s tightness, the thumb had hardly broken through the first clench of muscles, even after several shoves. So Vince began a series of vicious twists, each time swivelling the thumb little further. It was soon wedged in far past the knuckle. Howard yelled in panic at the intrusion. His muscles went into spasm inside at the pain. He strained the bonds around his wrists – but the knots were firmly tight. His ankles were fixed down, too, bound to the bedposts – and he couldn’t even remember Vince doing that. “You virgins,” Vince snorted. “Always screaming and saying no! As if that doesn’t just heat my blood. Make me want to despoil you all the more.” Howard yelped. Every time he tried to struggle away, the thumb was just twisting and rubbing the more painfully. It was agony. Vince’s gaze flicked up and down Howard’s body, coming to rest Howard’s cock, still treacherously half-hard on his belly. Vince sneered in amusement. “Ha! You don’t fool me! I know what you really want. A man with a sword larger than a toddler’s leg. And who’s not afraid to use it.” Howard forced himself to calm. The pain wasn’t so bad if he stopped moving. He took in a shaky breath. “That’s better. Now you’ve got the right idea. Going to lie there and let Daddy get on with business?” “Vince…?” asked Howard, weakly. He searched for a grin, a cheeky look from his friend - anything to confirm this was still a game. Vince loomed silently over Howard. Behind the shadow of his fringe his eyes were dark and unknowable. Then very deliberately, Vince stuck out his tongue. In one swift motion he’d licked Howard’s face, up from the jawline across Howard’s cheek and across the red mark where Howard had been slapped. But he didn’t stop there. He continued up to Howard’s left eye socket. There he jammed in the tip of his tongue and swished it wetly around. Howard’s breath hitched. He’d shut both eyes before the tongue descended, but the exploration of his eyeball was still pretty unnerving. “Tasty,” said Vince. The tip of his tongue was just poking out as he licked it against his lips. “Very, very tasty. Virgin tears.” Howard blinked. His left eyelashes were weighed down with Vince’s spit. Vince’s face was still startlingly close. “So, you going to be a good boy for Daddy? Hmmm? Are you?” He leaned further in and whispered into Howard’s ear. His voice was strangely deep and resonant. “Because believe me, I’m not finished yet.” Howard’s eyes widened. That voice… fear chilled his skin. But this was Vince, wasn’t it? He could trust Vince. “I didn’t hear a yes,” warned Vince. He pushed his slim-hipped body onto Howard’s. Their hot cocks touched. Howard let out a moan. Before he could think, he was rocking his hips up, mashing their cocks together and working himself back to full hardness. “Y…yes… Yes sir. Please sir.” “Right decision, meathead.” Howard moaned once more – this time in pain. Vince had yanked his thumb straight out of Howard’s arse. It was even more intense than when Vince had forced the thumb in, like Howard’s innards were being dragged out backwards. “Now, first things first,“ announced Vince, sitting up straight, and starting to climb off Howard. As the emptiness in his arse throbbed to a memory, Vince’s warm body was leaving him too. Howard shivered with the loss of them both. But within seconds, something else was being shoved towards Howard, right in his face – the waving end of Vince’s cock. “Go on - suck me off, bitch.” Howard strained at his bonds, uselessly. “Vince – you know I… I’ve… never before…” “Yes, yes!” Vince replied, impatiently. “I know! Less talking, more sucking!” Vince’s cock shoved harder. It smeared moisture across Howard’s lips. “Come on! Open up!” barked Vince. Until recently, Howard had never even imagined this – sucking another man’s cock, or how it would taste and feel inside his mouth. But suddenly, it didn’t seem so wrong. Perhaps because the cock in question belonged to Vince. Ever since their kiss on the rooftop, he’d been looking at Vince in a brand new way. Stealing shameful glances at him - at the bulge Vince swung around, so obvious in those tight shiny jumpsuits. Lying in bed at night, wishing more than anything that Vince would come over and slip in for a cuddle. Vince had never needed an invite before – all it took was a couple of crimps, and he’d strip off and jump right in. Why had Vince stopped? So when Howard opened up his mouth, he didn’t question it as the erect cock slipped in quite naturally. And when he licked cautiously at the silken head and it gave a distinct leap in response, it almost felt like coming home. In fact, pride was filling his chest. Yes - he, Howard TJ Moon, had made Vince’s cock twitch with sheer sexual pleasure. Of course it had! For years he’d wasted his mighty sexual powers, his god-given magnetism. He’d frittered it away on self-abuse like throwing tadpoles in the wind. No longer would that happen – no, sir. Because now he had Vince. Howard opened wider, about to take Vince further in, right to the root. “Call that a blow job?” Vince grabbed a handful of Howard’s hair, forcing his head sharply up. Then Vince plunged aggressively, deeper into Howard’s throat. “I said suck! Not slobber like a toddler puffing into a balloon! Again!” Howard choked, gasping for air. “No! No! Not like that, either!” Howard gave a half-strangled slurp, his chest rising and falling, helpless as Vince thrust in and out. “Arrgh!” shouted Vince. “Mind the teeth!” Howard twisted away, trying desperately to escape. But Vince was holding his head in an iron grip. Eventually, after Howard had been spluttering and hacking over his cock for about a minute, Vince withdrew. He shoved Howard’s head away in disgust. “Useless! And your mouth showed such promise!” Howard flopped sideways to the pillow and exploded into a coughing fit. Saliva and a string of something stickier dribbled out the corner of his mouth, forming a wet, warm puddle underneath. Vince stood wide-legged by the bed, surveying Howard with his hands on his hips. His drool-smeared erection stuck out like a flagstaff. “Well,” he sneered, showing his teeth in a surprisingly wolfish leer. “It matters not.” He took up the Head Shaman’s sword and raised it above his head. An unearthly light glinted from its blade. The sword came down with a swish and snick. Pain shot through Howard’s legs. His tight ankle bonds had been hacked free by the sword’s blow. Howard brought his knees up and down again, stretching his legs out and revelling in the freedom. Pins and needles prickled inside his thighs. “Resume position!” barked Vince, flinging away the sword. It fell with a harsh clang against the wall. And jumping on top of Howard, Vince pinned him to the bed. As his aching limbs were forced double again, Howard felt that reality had melted and flown away. He’d always imagined sex would be a more purely physical affair – in-out-in-out, dirty fumbles and fluid spurting. Not like this. Like when Vince had been choking him with his cock. Howard had hated it, he’d been crying stupid, acrid tears of self-pity, and yet –oh God, he wanted it. It was foul, yet he knew he deserved every inch, and more. It was all too much. Howard pulled at the bindings on his wrists, wishing he could caress the forceful little body on top as it tried to stab him with his cock. Wth another pang of self-disgust, Howard realised that not being able to touch Vince was only making him all the more aroused. “Yes! Daddy’s on target!” shouted Vince, triumphantly. Howard lifted his hips and closed his eyes, trying to welcome the battering at his already-abused entrance. But the blunt head of Vince’s cock wouldn’t go in, no matter how many times Vince pushed and roared in frustration. Vince shoved a few more times, angrily. It achieved nothing except white-lipped whimpers from the tied-up man below. Throwing his head back, Vince laughed theatrically. “Aha! I knew it! Such a tight little virgin after all!” He looked around. “I believe something will be required… no, not the popcorn… perhaps for later on.” He leaned over and started rummaging on the floor by the bed. Howard looked down and was surprised to see a box of golden popcorn sitting on the ground. Next to that was a bottle of cooking oil, the very same brand that Bollo used to fry his eggs and bacon in - oh right, thought Howard. It must be the bottle from the kitchen. How had it got there? Perhaps the Head Shaman had magicked it or something before he’d gone off to answer his phone call. Vince straightened up. He unscrewed the bottle and tossed the top over his shoulder. It fell without sound into the darkness. Then stretching out his arm, Vince tipped the bottle up and poured the whole lot out in one go. It gave a noisy gurgle. Howard jumped. A stream of cold oil had hit him right on the cock and balls. The oil gushed further down and Howard arched his back. He parted his thighs wide as the coolness slid into his crack, trickling down and easing the itchy burning inside. He sighed in relief. The mattress below began to spawn two oily buttock-dimple lakes of overflow. Vince re-positioned himself. He grabbed Howard’s thighs hard. Angry marks sprung up beneath his fingers, flaring across Howard’s flesh. With the goal finally oiled and ready for piercing, Vince grit his teeth and tensed his buttocks. The head of Vince’s cock inched forward in a series of shoves. When it finally forced through the tight ring of muscles at Howard’s entrance, Vince let out a sharp breath of satisfaction. But then his cock stopped short, wedged fast. Vince gave a few short, frustrated bounces, all to no avail. “Blast to Hades’ codpiece! Out of oil!” Vince pulled out with a short, nasal grunt, took his cock in his hand, and rubbed it across Howard’s dangling balls, up and down like a chef rolling a shushi roll. Soon it was glistening with the oil trapped in Howard’s scrotal hairs. “Aha!” Vince preened. He cupped his length in his hands like a prize marrow oiled for ‘Best Novelty Vegetable’ at the local fair. He readied himself for re-entry. Howard felt the prodding at his entrance. He steeled himself again. This was it, he was going to get to have sex, to do it at least once before he died. And Vince was going to be his very first, perhaps his only... Howard thrust his hips up, trying to help the penetration. Or perhaps they’d already had sex. After all, Vince’s cock had had been inside him, if only for a second. At the thought of Vince’s cock inside him again, Howard wriggled his hips even more. His fingers strained, as if trying to touch something invisible and pull it closer. “Anything,” he panted. “Anything you want. Make me do things. Anything. I’ll do it.” Howard flushed. A memory flashed before him – of how disgusted Vince had been the first time he’d caught Howard in the cupboard, self-inducing his Chinese burns. And now this. How would he ever face Vince again? Howard turned his face to the side, and so he didn’t see the blow about to fall. Vince hit Howard’s face in exactly the same place he had the last time. The skin on Howard’s right cheekbone flared white, immediately flushing to an angry purple. “Of course you want me to use you!” shouted Vince. “I’m the best! Now keep still and let Daddy do his business!” Howard gasped – but not at the blow. The shock of the afterheat on his battered skin – it was arousing him even more. What sort of person got off on this? No wonder no one had ever wanted to have sex with him before. But Vince was already sinking his cock into Howard, deeply, and right up to the hilt. Howard had no time to do anything now but break into a slick, all-over-body sweat and scream. And with a deep, un-Vince-like roar, the man on top drew back and started to pound into Howard. Within seconds, Howard was being rammed up backwards against the wall. The crown of his head jammered each time Vince slammed in. Helplessly, Howard tried to push back against it with his tied hands. But it was useless. All he could do was try to ride it out, his arse afire with bizarre intensity. Then Vince grabbed Howard’s buttocks, lifting him higher. As the angle changed, colours pinged and exploded before Howard’s eyes. Heat prickled down the inside of his thighs. His toes curled. Howard threw his head back and stretched his mouth open wide. A thought wisped through his melting brain - this must be what pleasure feels like. Vince thrust in once more, slick and easy with oil. He hit the same spot all over again. Howard arched up, the colours behind his eyelids even brighter. He grabbed the bindings to his wrists and pulled them as if grabbing onto life. But Vince was speedily approaching his peak. He let out a growl, and began to come. * Howard could hardly believe it. Vince was really coming inside him. But there was no mistaking it – Howard’s insides were so abused by now that he felt every spasm, spurt and jolt from Vince with a dozen times sensitivity. Eventually, the last tremors from Vince’s cock pumped away to a gentle tremble. Howard wanted to hold Vince, to kiss him, to stroke him and thank him for being his first time - but Vince was sprawled on top of him, far out of reach of Howard’s bound arms. Anyway, at least one thing was for sure, thought Howard. His virginity was long gone. When another man shot his happy juice up your arse, then goodbye maidenhood. Eventually Vince’s cock started to retreat, slipping out in a mess of sperm and oil. Panting, Vince pulled himself to his knees. Howard chafed at his tightly-pulled wrists. As Vince had lifted up, his body had stroked across Howard’s still-hard cock. Howard was still so painfully hard. He was so close to coming himself. “Please, Vince,” he breathed. “Please… touch me.” But Vince was too busy examining his own genitals. There were shiny red streaks along Vince’s cock, showing neon bright in the dimness of the bedroom. With an inquiring noise, Vince reached forward and stretched Howard’s cheeks apart. He made an inspection of Howard’s anus. Howard leant into Vince’s slightest touch. “Yes,” Howard begged, waggling his erection, hoping that Vince would get the general idea. “Hmm. Less blood than for your average devirginization,“ stated Vince. “Probably not the fabled arse-hymen. Pity.” And, inspection over, Vince bunched up a corner of sheet from the end of the bed and coolly began to wipe the stains from his penis. Howard couldn’t care less what rubbish Vince gibbered. He only wanted those hands around his cock, pumping it up and down. “Vince! Stop messing about! You’re not going to leave me like this?” Vince had retrieved the box of popcorn and was sitting strangely straight-backed on the end of the bed, picking out the largest kernels in a pompous, overly fussy way. It reminded Howard of something or someone he couldn’t quite remember. But Howard had other, more urgent things on his mind. “Vince?” cried Howard, in frustration. He thrashed about, desperate to find anything to rub himself against to relieve the pressure. “Oh God, please!” “Ahhh...” Vince munched on the popcorn with obvious pleasure. “This has really been a most enjoyable encounter.” He looked over at Howard. His eyes suddenly narrowed. “You are a quite remarkably attractive man.” “Then why won’t you touch me, Vince?” howled Howard. Vince tilted his head as he considered this. He set down his popcorn. “Well - I usually have a rule about virgins - but I think I’ll make an exception for you.” Vince moved towards the bed. Howard’s hopes rose. “So you enjoyed performing as my cock-sucking little bitch?” “Just pull me off, Vince!” shouted Howard, losing all dignity. “You worked me up so that I’m close to bursting! I can’t bear it!” Vince laughed. “So eager for more! Well,” he stepped up close. Howard could feel his breath. “Stay that way. And we’ll see.” And Vince placed one last lick onto Howard’s face, pressing down hard across the colouring bruise. Then he smiled - the same eerie smile as before, which narrowed his eyes and ended in a hint of snarl. “What? We’ll see? Fuck that!” wailed Howard, pulling at his bonds. “What about now, you bastard! At least untie me so I can wank myself off!” Howard widened his eyes. “No Vince, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it – don’t go!” But Vince had hefted up the Head Shaman’s sword under one arm and, sticking the box of popcorn under his other, was making his way out the door, still totally naked. Howard was left alone in the darkness of the night, with only a hard on for company, and thinking – so that was sex. Wondering if the aching in his frustrated balls could possibly get any worse. Yes. Probably it would. The night was young. * The ache when he woke up, some time in the afternoon, was terrible – in his arms, which were still tied to the bedposts, and in his arse. His cock, however, was bobbing cheerfully at his stomach. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Vince moving around, doing something with his clothes. Probably deciding what to wear, from the rate he was throwing them around. “Good morning?” he called shyly. Vince stopped moving. He came to the bed and stood over Howard. He met Howard’s eager expression with a look of haughty contempt, complete with flared nostrils, that Howard only knew him to wear when he was both furious and hurt. It had happened then, just as Howard had feared. He’d always known that if he ever had sex with anyone, they’d hate him for it afterwards. “Oh. You’re awake, are you, Casanova?” Vince sneered. “Vince, I’m sorry. Can we just forget it ever happened?” “Do you even know what happened?” “What do you mean?” Now that he was beginning to wake up more fully, he was becoming irritated with Vince as well. What right did he have to act this way? Hadn’t he been the one who wanted it to happen? “It wasn’t ME, you berk!” Vince cried, his voice cracking. “Now wait a minute. We were both involved. Everything was consensual. You may regret it now, but don’t pretend that you weren’t even here….” “Want to know where I was? Up there!” Vince pointed at the ceiling over the bed. “Out of me body. Just a floating consciousness. I couldn’t even get off. Just watch you and him go at it!” “Him? Who?” Fully awake now, Howard was starting to wonder if Vince had simply gone mad. “The Head Shaman, you twit! He occupied my body to get off with you! You lost your cherry to a murdering madman! And you couldn’t even tell the difference between us.” “This… is a dream. There’s something wrong here….” “Wrong!?” Vince’s voice sounded strangled. “I’ll show you wrong!” He snatched something glittery off the floor and held it up for Howard to see. “Vince!” Howard’s voice was hushed, scared. “Who did that to the mirror-ball suit?” “Your little matey, Dennis! He tore it up to tie you up! It’s in pieces now!” Vince was nearly in tears. “You can wear it that way and say it’s your new look,” Howard pointed out consolingly. “Not a bad idea actually,” Vince admitted reluctantly. “But that’s not the point, Howard!” he cried. “Look, Vince, would you just untie me, so we can talk!” “No way! You can stay that way, you dirty manwhore. I’m leaving. I’m getting me own room, elsewheres.” Vince hefted a giant trunk – Howard realized now that he’d been packing – towards the door, but soon gave up. “Oi! I’ll send for my stuff later.” “Vince… where are you going?” Howard pleaded. “Away from you!” After Vince had left, Howard waited, the blazing ache in his back and arms and shoulders and arse almost overpowering any ability to feel the loss of Vince – of their friendship or any hope of a relationship. He hoped it would also overpower his humiliation at being discovered by Naboo and Bollo when he called for their help. Which he would have to do soon, because he wouldn’t be able to take it much longer. And then, after they’d laughed at him (he figured for about an hour, depending on how much weed they’d had), he’d be fired. Out on the streets, days before Christmas. A street-random. It wasn’t nearly as bad he’d thought losing his virginity would be.

#the mighty boosh #mighty boosh #boosh #howard moon #dennis the head shaman #howard moon/dennis #howard moon/dennis the head shaman

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elizas-writing · 6 years

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Thirteen Reasons Why is Torture Porn; Using Graphic Violence to Make a Point

CW/TW: Mentions of suicide, rape/sexual violence, physical assault, and everything the Thirteen Reasons Why crew were told NOT to do by mental health experts

If you are in a crisis, don’t let a poorly written TV show tell you what to do; call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Crisis Line at 1-800-784-2433. Surround yourself with people who will support you without judgement and are willing to take the extra step to understand. If you’re struggling to find regular mental health resources, check out here for more options. You still have a life ahead even if it takes some trial and error to figure out what the hell to do.

So Netflix released the second season of Thirteen Reasons Why, and, what a shock, people hate it for upping the graphic violence and rape. I have no plans to watch it myself after reading through all the triggers, but suffice it to say that so little was learned from the first season. Plus, I’d rather not subject myself to that much distress for a TV show I knew there was no point in continuing after the first season. Everyone’s accounts across Twitter and Tumblr of the new season seem to match up, so I’m going off of that for this piece.

If you haven’t seen my review of the first season (with and without spoilers), I found that it definitely went too far to make a point and had really confusing characterizations, but there were select scenes, when they were done right, were kinda worth the wait-- keyword being “kinda.” There was a germ of an idea begging for good writing, but got sucked into shock value for the sake of shock value. And the second season offers no promises to improve.

Of the multiple graphic scenes of this season, the one which sparked the most outrage was the final episode “Bye” as Tyler (a serial stalker) is brutalized and raped by his male classmates. As a result of being pushed too far, he brings practically a whole arsenal of guns to shoot up the school during a dance, but Clay peacefully disarms him before he can go through with it.

So apparently the creators saw the criticism of season one and thought, “So, you want to see more graphic violence, rape, and terribly confusing characterization?”

In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, creator and showrunner, Brian Yorkey, wanted to explore more of Tyler’s psyche and “how a troubled man might be driven to consider this very difficult choice” after the bullying and ostracization he experienced in the first season. While I’d never wish rape on anyone, even fictional people--and a bunch of characters who mistreated him are total hypocrites--, Tyler is still beyond redemption for never understanding how his behavior destroyed Hannah’s sense of safety. The show puts him through that much brutalization to force audiences to feel sympathetic towards him while never critically analyzing why his stalking and coping mechanisms were wrong and unhealthy, regardless of what else was going on in his life.

It also promotes the dangerous idea that social outcasts and/or victims of bullying are likely to eventually become school shooters, which completely ignores factors like toxic masculinity or racist associations-- as was the case for shootings like Parkland and Santa Fe from this year-- which contribute to a white male sense of entitlement. Even though the lapses in logic are all over the place in the show-- particularly Clay having an emotional breakdown with Tyler, even though he made things worse in the first place by sharing revenge porn--, people had every right to distance themselves from Tyler as much as possible.

He’s a creep in how he objectifies his female classmates, constantly collects sensitive photos for blackmail, and his main outlet for anger becomes shooting guns at bottles and live animals, because society as a whole tends to only show men how to be emotional through anger and nothing else. This doesn’t help that when he testified, he apparently wanted to befriend Hannah to take photos of her to which she rejected (rightfully so) and thus his stalking began. It’s already so back-and-forth among viewers if Hannah committed suicide out of revenge or actual mental health deterioration, and subtly putting blame on her for rejecting Tyler is up there as one of the worst things they did to her. Not to mention throughout the second season, Tyler is anonymously putting up polaroids around the school of incriminating evidence in the case, particularly with Jessica, who is already stressed as is coming to terms that she was raped by Bryce.

It’s upon these scenes that I realized Netflix’s Thirteen Reasons Why can’t decide who it’s supposed to be for. It’s not for teenagers with how unrealistic and unidentifiable the characters are, especially coming from an adaptation of an 11-year-old book with an outdated understanding of teen mental health, bullying and suicide. It’s most definitely not for mentally ill folks with a history of suicidal thoughts because it’s so graphic, violent, and triggering, and on top of which, is grossly inaccurate on how depression works. Are they making it for the same people who can stomach Game of Thrones easily?

Above all else, does graphic violence have any point in film or television?

As mentioned in their first Beyond the Reasons special, the writers argued about needing that authenticity for Hannah’s rape and suicide scenes “to be painful to watch,” but it’s really not worth it if it has nothing else to say besides “look at this excess violence; you need to feel bad.” If you need to spoon feed your audience an explicit rape or suicide scene to emphasize how horrible those things are, it’s bad writing. They made the same mistakes with Tyler’s brutalization, which like I said, only exists to make you feel sorry for him and almost forget he’s an irredeemable character.

Film and television are super creative visual mediums; there are ways to convey an emotion or theme without triggering content or alienating your supposed intended audience.

I mentioned this before in my first review, but Perks of Being a Wallflower did incredibly well in portraying child molestation and an attempted suicide without going too far. The scenes of the molestation are cleverly cut and mostly in shadow where all you can see is Charlie’s aunt rubbing his leg and hear her whispering “Don’t wake your sister.” And when he’s mentally breaking down and suicidal, the camera just pans to the knife slowly before immediately cutting to the police breaking in, and then Charlie wakes up in the psychiatric ward. It’s a gut-wrenching scene every time, but it’s also smart in remembering the intended audience and walking that line before it becomes too much. It’s a great depiction of an anxiety attack where everything overwhelms you at once, and sometimes there’s gaps in your memory in what happened while in that state of panic. It’s never addressed what happened between the police arriving and Charlie waking up in the psychiatric ward. But it doesn’t need to give those answers; what matters most is that Charlie is safe and finally going to get the help he needs.

A scene can be way more powerful in what it omits rather than what it explicitly shows. What you imagine might happen can be more exciting and/or terrifying than what any director could have put on the screen themselves.

Early horror and thriller films are among the most successful of this, especially if they’re directed by Alfred Hitchcock, the Master of Suspense. Sure, these films seem pretty cheesy when we in the 21st century are used to seeing much more violence and body horror, but they have their mark on cinematic history for a reason, and for an audience in the 1960s, this was horrifying. Take the famous shower scene from Psycho.

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Instead of showing the knife penetrating flesh, it’s all edited in near-rapid cuts of “Mother” missing, Marion screaming and trying to defend herself, and shots of her feet with blood dripping into the water. It focuses more on the vulnerability of the situation, when there’s no chance for escape as you’re cornered against the wall and how quickly it all happens before you can react, complete with fast-paced editing and those high pitched violins. That kind of defenselessness freaked out actress Janet Leigh so much that she couldn’t take showers again without locking the doors and windows and leaving the shower door open. Hell, that still tends to be a common reaction for a lot of people who see this movie, and all without needing to show actual stab wounds.

And this trick in omitting some elements and highlighting others works well across genres for any scene motivated by any strong emotion. There’s probably about 50 different Disney films I can cite that do this well, but the one that sticks out the most is Tarzan.

Aside from Phil Collins singing, some animal noises, and a baby cooing, there is no spoken dialogue for the first 7 minutes, which is a really long time for an animated family film. Yeah, the song kinda hamfists in the themes of family and love from the get-go, but it’s otherwise a great introduction. You see these two families just starting out before they’re cut short by tragedy; one with the death of a baby gorilla and the other with the death of Tarzan’s parents, both at the jaws of Sabor. The former is only indicated by the sounds of the baby gorilla’s screams echoing in the jungle while we only see the aftermath of the latter through Kala’s perspective when she finds Tarzan.

Obviously with it being a Disney family film, they’re not going to actually show Sabor tearing up a baby gorilla or the human parents. As such, they have to rely on context clues for the audience to pick up and piece together everything else with their imaginations. When you think about it long enough, it’s a really dark beginning on how quickly unexpected tragedy can destroy everything you hold dear. And it’s all accomplished without going too far.

Does this mean we need to omit graphic violence entirely for a film? Not necessarily as it very much depends on what the film is and your target audience. But omission is a great practice in a story to explore what else you have to say besides “Look at this traumatizing shit. You should feel bad.” Of course, we’ll always have mindless films which just exist to be violent, and historical narratives and/or social commentaries in some cases need violence to portray the reality of a situation. But when you’re making something about mental illness with intent to help those like your characters, it helps to listen to what your audience and mental health experts actually want to see in such a narrative. And like I said before, the Thirteen Reasons Why creators completely ignored criticisms of season one and continued making the same mistakes just to milk their product beyond the source material. It has nothing else to say or do besides being needlessly gritty as opposed to creating likable characters or understandable motivations.

The only exception to this rule I can even think of is Deadpool 2.

I know it seems counter-intuitive to compare Deadpool 2 and Thirteen Reasons Why given the former’s more excessive violence, but bare with me here. I stand by that Deadpool 2 is way better at handling themes of suicide and violence in two hours than Thirteen Reasons Why ever did in 26 episodes.

The major differences? The intended audience’s expectations and well-written characterization.

Most everyone going in already knows what Wade Wilson is like. And this is definitely not the first time he attempted suicide in such grandiose and gratuitous fashion. The first film established itself as a wildly violent parody of superhero films, and the sequel continues that by poking fun at recent trends of these films going darker and grittier. In any other film, this would cross the line, but because it’s Deadpool, the excessively grotesque violence is to be expected. It succeeds in capturing the shock and dark humor (i.e Wade blowing himself up with his apartment, knowing fully well he can’t die) while still maintaining the weight of his emotional turmoil.

We actually get to know who Wade is and why he acts the way he does. There’s no drawn out mystery or fact-checking other sources or confronting side characters we don’t care about. We get his perspective alone, and that’s all we need to see his grief over Vanessa escalating to self-destructive behaviors and how he tries to find some family and meaning in life without her, even though her death is retconned in the end anyway. It’s all played for laughs, but you can’t help but feel sorry for Wade because he loved Vanessa so much, and they were a wonderfully sweet couple.

Another thing Deadpool 2 does significantly better than Thirteen Reasons Why is not forcing gray morality where it doesn’t belong, particularly when Wade tries to save Russell. It doesn’t matter if his actions lead to a horrible future; he’s just a traumatized kid who needs a proper family who will guide him. A lot of X-Men films try to play the heroes as the bigger people who are above murder and revenge. Yet Deadpool 2 doesn’t punish those like Russell with understandable hatred and motivations. It is very upfront that if you harm children, you deserve whatever hell comes your way-- which really hits home as Russell was put through metaphorical gay conversion therapy.

Meanwhile, I can’t even be bothered to care about anyone in Thirteen Reasons Why. The second season out of nowhere piles on excuse after excuse to justify the characters’ actions without them ever facing guilt or consequences. Anyone else with a remote chance at sympathy is just put through more emotional torture without rhyme or reason. I don’t care who has a drug problem, who’s gay, who dated who, the he-said-she-said, etc etc. If you’re trying to preach the ever-tired “it gets better” bullshit, when does it actually start to get better?

Sadly, Thirteen Reasons Why can’t find that point, and I don’t trust it will given how little the creators learned from the first season’s criticisms. They don’t care about creating a narrative to help mentally ill teens. They have nothing else to say or do than to make money and shoe-horned in so much graphic violence under the guise of being “authentic” to compensate for a tired Degrassi knockoff which would’ve disappeared if it wasn’t based on a well-known YA novel. Graphic violence in media is a tool to be used carefully, and of course it will vary project to project. But if it just exists to pad your “deep, meaningful” story instead of developing characters, motivations and relationships, then it’s cheap, lazy torture porn, and it’s bad writing.

If you enjoyed this analysis and what I do here, consider buying me a ko-fi to show your support!

#thirteen reasons why #13 reasons why #netflix #tv #tv show #graphic violence #deadpool #deadpool 2 #tarzan #disney tarzan #psycho #alfred hitchcock #perks of being a wallflower #analysis #my writing #essay #opinion #editorial

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mybullshitsensesaretingling · 7 years

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Doughnuts

Request: Can I get a Star Trek imagine? Reader works in engineering and is close friend with Scotty. When Chekov starts shadowing Scotty he meets the reader and a friendship quickly forms because they are both chipper balls of sunshine. notices that their friendship could become something more with a nudge in the right direction. Soon the Scotsman has get the two together. Just something super silly and fluffy. - @peacebuglove

A/N: I don’t have anything to say about this story, but I feel it’s important that you all know that the kazoo was not invented in Russia, but in fact was invented in Georgia by a man named Alabama.

You pressed down on the receiver on the wall to silence the beeping.

“Live from the Alpha Quadrant, it’s the extraordinary Ensign (Y/L/N). Tactical, you’re our first and favorite caller. Talk to me,” you said, in an your best impression of a talk radio host.

“Hi. This is Ensign Melnick. Long time listener. First time caller. One of our terminals is glitching,” the officer on the other end played along.

“Well, Melnick, that certainly is quite the pickle. Have you considered turning it off and back on again?”

“I have.”

“I’ll talk to the all powerful Lieutenant Commander, see if we can’t get someone up there to help you out,” you told him.

“Thank you. Tactical out.”

“Ye do know yer crazy, right?” Scotty asked from the panel he was working on beside you.

You smiled but otherwise ignored the question. “You want me to go take care of that?”

He shook his head.

“Are you sure? I could fix it and be back before you can ‘(Y/N), you deserve a promotion’. I could even grab lunch on the way back.”

“Yer in the middle of a diagnostic,” he reminded you.

“Ok, but after I finish, I’m going to get us some lunch.”

“Ye’ll get no arguments from me.”

You started to walk back to the computer you had been at before the call, but stopped when a bright yellow shirt caught your attention. You had seen the boy in it around the engine room more and more over the past few months, usually talking to Scotty when you weren’t.

“Scotty, did you get a sidekick without telling me?” you asked.

“I haven’t gotten a new sidekick since you.”

“I like to think of myself as the protagonist of our story, thank you very much.” You looked back up to the curly haired boy who looked like he belonged on the bridge. “Do you have a stalker then?”

“What are ye goin’ on about.” He looked up and followed your gaze. “Oh. That’s just Chekov.”

“But why is he here? Not that I don’t think he should be here. He can be wherever he wants. But he’s dressed in gold, which usually implies a certain amount of not being here,” you babbled.

“Chekov!” Scotty called out getting the boy’s attention. “Come down here, lad.”

The navigator jogged down from the catwalk.

“Yes, Mister Scott?”

“Please tell (Y/N) that you are not a stalker.”

Chekov gave him a puzzled look, but did as he asked anyway, followed by, “I thought you vould be shorter.”

“Why?” you asked, suddenly very aware of your exact height.

“He always calls you ‘vee’,” Chekov told you.

“He talks about me?” You turned to Scotty. “You talk about me?”

He shrugged.

“That’s so sweet!” you grinned.

“I’d tell ye not to let it go to yer head, but it’s a tad late for that, extraordinary ensign.” He started to move past the pair of you to a computer terminal. “Why don’t you walk ‘im through yer diagnostic.”

“Vat are you running a diagnostic on?” Chekov asked.

“The graviton field generator,” you told him.

“I have not vorked vith ze graviton field generator.”

“Well, come on!” You practically bounced back to your station. Being an ensign, you rarely got to show others the ropes. “We’re still getting some residual charge readings from yesterday’s incident, so I’m running a level three diagnostic.”

“Level three? Is zat necessary?” he asked.

“If this was just a maintenance check it wouldn't be.” You tapped at the screen. “Level threes really aren't as bad as people make them out to be. I think they're fun.”

“Me too,” he admitted.

You smiled at him over your shoulder, before starting to go over the read outs. You pointed out the readings that you wouldn't get with a level one diagnostic.

“Zat one.” Chekov pointed to a dial on the wall.

“This one?” you asked pointing at a different one.

He shook his head and pointed at the first dial again. “Zat one.”

“This one?” you asked, reaching for a levor.

Scotty had you help teach Chekov one of the systems while he went to a meeting. A choice he was sure he would soon regret. You had spent most of that time messing with him or going on long tangents that only had a 50% chance of looping back to your original statement.

“No, zat-” he stopped himself. “You know vat dial I am talking about.”

“Yeah,” you smiled. “I think you know this system well enough. In fact I think you know the whole ship forwards and backwards. Which means it’s time for a snack break. I’m in the mood for doughnuts”

“But Mr. Scott,” he said warily.

“He’ll be fine with it if we bring him one.” Now that you had mentioned doughnuts, you were determined to get one. Taking Chekov’s hand in yours, you towed him along behind you as you headed for the lift. “You seem like a jelly filled kinda guy to me.”

He stared at your joined hands, but didn't let his shock at the act of affection show in his voice. “I love jelly filled doughnuts! Especially ze purple ones!”

Almost every engineer on duty knew when you got back. Your collective laughter came close to drowning out the sounds of the engines completely. Scotty waited at the main console for you to tell him some excuse for leaving your post. The truth of the matter was that he didn’t really care. As long as everything was in working order, he was a lot looser with his command. All he asked was that when the time came, everyone was ready to work with no questions asked.

“The kazoo was not invented in Russia,” your tone was somewhere between irritation and amusement, “Don’t take this from me, goldie.”

“And where have ye been?” Scotty asked.

“We went to get doughnuts.” You held out a plate for him, smiling brightly. “We brought you some!”

“Zis one’s creme filled.” Chekov pointed at the one on the left.

“And this one’s apple cinnamon,” you added.

“Ohh.” His fingers danced over to the plate. “Thank you.” He picked up a doughnut and stuck the edge of it in his mouth, waving you off. “Go do something.”

“We’re gonna go to the jefferies tube where the gravity's flipped to uh,” you searched your mind for a good reason for the two of you to go there.

“Run tests,” Chekov finished. Laughter still clung to the edges of his words, despite the two of you trying to seem professional.

“Yep. Uh huh. Gotta get that fixed,” you nodded.

“Aye, sure that’s what yer doin’.” He shook his head in amusement at the sight of the two of you scurrying off, giggling and joking the whole way.

“I vant to see ze mooooon,” Chekov recited, proudly.

“That was terrible,” you laughed despite yourself.

“That’s the point,” he said, waving his screwdriver at you. “That and making you smile.”

“That was almost cheesier than your jokes.” You shoved his shoulder with yours, but you couldn’t help your smile widening a bit at his comment.

He chuckled, handing you the decoupler before you had to ask for it. Over the last couple weeks, the two of you had gotten in a groove while working together. You worked in perfect harmony, laughing and joking without ever letting your work slip.

“So this is what Chekov does with his time of?” Kirk asked Scotty, who was pretending not to be watching to two of you. “Flirt with your engineers?”

“Aye, but just the one as of late,” Scotty answered.

“Really?”

The two men shared a knowing look that was interrupted by you shouting out a “Captain!” and moving to stand at attention. Chekov followed your lead, stumbling in his haste to get to his feet.

“At ease, ensigns,” Kirk ordered. “Just stopping by to see how things are going down here.”

“Zey are good, Keptain,” Chekov said.

“Better than good,” you said. “Great!”

“Yes, yes,” Chekov agreed enthusiastically. “Ze things are great!”

“That’s what I like to hear. As you were.” He nodded at you as you went back to work. “How long do you give it?”

“They'll be together before we reach Starbase 65, sir.”

“You're going to meddle, aren't you?” Kirk asked, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“Aye, sir, I'm going to meddle.”

Sliding down to the floor, you let your head loll back against the pipe behind you. You took a deep breath and waited for the panic and chaos from the battle you had just scraped through to leave you. The absence of shouts and alarms was deafening, making the ambient sound of the engines sound twice as loud. Frantic footfalls echoed through the room, but you kept your eyes on the ceiling, wanting a few more seconds of peace.

“Are you alright?”

The familiar accent took the dread over dealing with how everything was running right out of you. You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face when a head full of curly hair came into your line of sight. It was the first time in almost a month that you hadn’t worked at his side. Without you noticing, your shift had been moved around to you were only on duty when he wasn’t, leaving him free to be in engineering.

“Did you run here all the way from the bridge?” Part of you wasn’t even surprised. He always seemed to be where he was needed.

“Yes. I vas,” he rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck, “vorried about you.”

You tried to form a response but all you could do was beam at him. Luckily, that seemed to be enough for him and he sat down next to you on the floor and let out a long sigh.

“That was eventful,” you stated, still staring at the maze of tubes, pipes, and cat walks above you.

Out of your peripherals you saw Chekov nodding in agreement.

“Vant to get some doughnuts?” he asked.

“A dozen each.”

“Make it a baker's dozen.”

“With extra sprinkles!”

Scotty walked up to you, placed his hands on his hips, and looked down at the two of you. After a couple seconds he nodded. “Come on then.”

You pointed up at him, your finger following him as he started to walk away. “He’s got scotch and whiskey.”

“Much better plan,” Chekov said.

Getting up, the two of you followed him to his office. By the time the two of you were in the room, Scotty was already pouring a second glass. When finished pouring out a third, he handed you each one and lifted his up.

“To a ship that can wrassle with the worst of ‘em!”

The room filled with echoes of the sentiment and praises of the ship.

The second you had emptied your glass, you filled it back up, clinked it against Chekov’s, and yelled, “To navigators who get us out of Romulan space!”

“To not being dead!” Chekov said when he moved on to the next glass.

Scotty and you cheered and brought your drinks back to your lips. Chekov swallowed, but then something occurred to him and he got to his feet, setting his glass on the desk.

“Where ya goin’, goldie?” you asked.

“Ve need snacks. I vill be back,” he told you, walking from the office. “Do not drink too much vithout me, red.”

With a snort, Scotty took a sip. His expression told you he knew something you didn’t. He never kept secrets from you - mostly because he was terrible at lying and had a habit of blurting whatever it was out before you had the chance to ask- so whatever this was had to involve you.

“What?” you asked.

“Nothing.” His wry tone only served to make you want to push him more.

“What?” you asked again this time drawing the word out until it was almost unrecognizable.

“Just you two.”

You quirked a brow. “Us two?”

“Yer always together, laughin’, jokin’. Ye’ve got nicknames. It’s all just a little,” he moved his glass around like it would hit the word he was looking for, but it didn’t.

“A little what, Scotty?”

“Och, ye know what.”

You pursed your lips and shook your head.

“Quit actin’ like ye dinnae ken what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.”

You let out a puff of air. “You’re talking about us in a,” you held up a finger on either hand and moved them next to each other, “sorta way, aren’t you?”

“Aye!”

You bit your lower lip and stared into the golden liquid in your hand. “I don’t think that’s gonna happen.”

“And why not?” From his tone, you could tell he had put some thought into your relationship with Chekov.

“Because he so smart and his hair’s so curly.” You took a long drink. “Besides he doesn’t feel that way about me.”

Scotty shook his head in dismay. “The boy runs the length of the ship in five minutes for ye and ye don’t think he feels that way.”

“Well, that’s just… a really good point actually,” a small smile slowly started to spread across your face. “You really think he might?”

“Och, I more than think. I’m damn sure.”

“Huh. What’da know?” you tried to keep the giddiness from your tone, but failed.

“Ok, give it back now,” you whined as Chekov picked your report apart. All you wanted was for him to read over it, before you turned it in, but instead you were transported to an eleventh grade AP English class peer review. And he was practically cackling as you got more and more upset.

“No,” he said holding your PADD at arms length, “you asked me to read it, so let me read it.”

“I changed my mind.” You reached out for it, but he pulled it further out of reach.

“You can have it back when I have finished.” He held it up above his head, reading it at an angle that could not have been comfortable.

You stepped forward, crowding his space and reaching for your PADD again. Chekov tilted his face down to you, in doing so brushed his nose against yours. In that moment of closeness, all doubts about how he felt melted away. In fact all thoughts at all melted away, and you were left with nothing but impulse and instinct.

Dropping one of your hands to his chest, you bunched the gold fabric of his uniform up in your fist and tugged him impossibly closer. With your other arm, wrapping itself around his shoulders, you tipped your chin up and pressed you lips to his. In an instant, Chekov had a hand on your waist, keeping you as close to him as he could.

Far too soon, pulled back, sliding your hand down his arm until it reached his. You smiled at his change in expression. All traces of smugness gone.

“Can I have my PADD back now?” you asked in a softer voice than you had been using.

“Uh uh.” He dropped it on your desk and pulled you back into him. “Ve can vork on zat later.”

“Is Pavel Chekov, textbook workaholic, suggesting we procrastinate?” you teased.

“I have other priorities now.”

#chekov #chekov x reader #Pavel Chekov #chekov imagine #pavel chekov imagine #pavel chekov x reader #scotty imagine #star trek imagine #star trek imagines #chekov imagines

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travelcenter-uk · 3 years

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Exploring the scariest places on earth this Halloween!

Let the horror movies and chills wait this Halloween because we are ready to take you on a real horror ride with the scariest places on earth as perfect treats while you are trick or treating. This Halloween, test your courage with these places that will awaken the ”spookster” in you! Starting from the scariest places in the UK to some of the ghoulish scariest places in the world, we got the spell worked out and all ready to cast. Let the cauldron boil right away!

ISLAND OF DOLLS, MEXICO

If you watched Chucky and cannot stand dolls in your room anymore, you need to visit the Island of Dolls!

Located in the channels of Xochimilco, south of the center of Mexico City, it is home to one of the scariest places on earth; The Island of dolls is something that will make you look twice on the path you walk.

For those who have the perfect imagination of dolls being possessed, this Island can be the spookiest one you’ll visit this Halloween. Why? Let me give you more details! Dolls alone are sometimes creepy; imagine an Island full of them hanging on trees; scary, right?

The Island of Dolls in Mexico is full of dolls hanging on trees. You’re right; it can be just a normal ritual. But here’s the plot twist: these dolls were hung to ward off the spirit of a drowned child!

Later on, following that tradition, many dolls were hung all over the Island, which became popular tourist attractions.

Up for a challenge this Halloween 2021? Visit the Island of dolls and see you can spot any unnatural activities.

Aokigahara Forest, Japan

If you are Xylophobic, Aokigahara cannot just be your worst nightmare but is also the best place to finally challenge yourself to overcome your fear!

As the dense forest of Aokigahara whispers eerie stories in your ear, this forest trail is quite the Halloween adventure if you’re ready for the chills.Owning a setting as it can appear in upcoming horror movies, it has a suicide record of 50 to 100 a year; but that doesn’t stop the hikers from exploring this special Halloween 2021 edition on our list of scariest places in the world.

It’s not just the spooky elements of the Aokigahara forest that make it among the scariest places in the world. Its lush greenery-filled atmosphere is a popular hotspot for tourists as well; yes, we’re talking to the thrill-seekers reading this! I mean, getting lost in the woods can sound like an ‘adventure’ but have you ever had nightmares of getting lost in a ‘suicide forest’? If you are looking for a creepy journey that is off the radar on Halloween getaways, then this is something you should consider.

Did you know?

The Aokigahara Forest in Japan is also called the ‘Suicide Forest’ and was used as the setting for the American Supernatural horror film ‘The Forest’ directed by Jason Zada.

Bran Castle – Bran, Romania

There’s something very mysteriously attractive about vampires!

If you didn’t have a crush on Edward from the movie twilight, then it’s just me on the fans club.

Well then, if you do love vampire stories, make your way to the Bran Castle in Romania for a tour of the castle. Initially getting its identity from Bram Stoker’s “Dracula,” there sure might be other undiscovered blood-rushing stories waiting to be discovered on your visit.

Tread in the footsteps of the night stalker himself. Yes, it may sound mythical but let me tell you what the locals around the Bran Castle have to say!

The Romanian locals are said to have believed ‘Strigoi’ roamed the area after dark. They claim that the Strigoi were spirits that rose from the dead and fed on their victims’ blood to quench their thirst. If this isn’t bloody enough, then here’s the spinechilling fact: some of the Romanian locals still believe that ‘Strigoi’ were ‘normal people’ during the day but during nightfall, their souls left their bodies in sleep to torment the neighbours.

What do you know? You have plenty of chances to bump right into a ‘Strigoi’ on your visit to the Bran Castle. Ready for a thrill ride?

As the bats rush out, tie your shoelaces for a tour that will upgrade your regular spooky experiences to one epic Halloween 2021 adventure.

Tower of London, England

You know London for its mind-blowing architecture and history, but have you ever heard of the ghosts that reside in the Tower of London?

Yes! The Tower of London’s sinister reputation is what attracts millions of visitors to come to hear stories of imprisonment, torture, and execution.

It’s not just the illustrious stories of souls roaming in the tower that makes it one of the scariest places in the world. History speaks volumes of the number of executions made at the site, two of which have been recorded as Henry VII’s wives!

Each tower in the Tower of London has its own spooky and enthralling element that attracts innumerable visitors to date!

Your tour of this spooky tower of London can start from the East End, one of the battlefields where it is said you can hear ghostly footsteps pacing back and forth. Then you can explore the Byward Tower, Toppling Tower, the Wakefield Tower, the Salt Tower, the Martin Tower, and many other towers one by one until you reach the traitor’s gate.

Sounds like playing a good game of Resident Evil? Now that’s what makes this one of the scariest places on earth, and why you must visit it for Halloween 2021.

No one has been able to escape the Tower of London regardless of birthright or rank. So, as you shake off the dust of history from your shoes and leave this grim fortress to its memories and shadows, you might as well want to offer a prayer for their repose!

Salem, United States

We’re casting a spell on you to make you travel to Salem in the United States!

What’s a Halloween story without witches? Visit the witch house that holds its history as Salem’s only home with direct ties to the Witch Trials of 1692.

Salem’s witch trials began in the spring of 1692, when several girls in Salem Village, Massachusetts, claimed to be possessed by the devil and accused local women of being witches. Today, it is the real stories that runs in its past, that makes Salem one of the scariest places in the world to visit!

Intrigued to see what actually we are talking about? Drop a comment, we’ll tell you more!

On your visit to Salem, in a true magic circle, real witches will welcome you and share their wisdom. At Crow Haven Corner, you will perform a candle magic spell with candles made by a real Witch and a stone spell to receive a wish. You can also be a part of a blessing that will be performed at the Witch Trials Memorial in memory of the victims of 1692 by one of the witches herself!

We are sure you would love to make a visit and take a trip learning about its mystical history and admire the seventeenth-century architecture.

If you are ready, all you need to do is contact our travel experts, and they’ll get your magic broom ready for you to fly away!

Hill of Crosses, Lithuania

We’re going a bit out of the topic to talk about mystery, religion and oh hey, you can use this topic to cool off a bit from all of the spookiness!

This is not something you will see in the upcoming horror movies. Did the Crosses that appear mysteriously in the 14th century form a hill full of them, or did people put it there?

If this doesn’t stir your curiosity, we don’t know what will!

This spot was filled with metal or wooden crosses, icons of saints, and photographs of revered local patriots for nearly two centuries.

But we don’t really know how it started!

The Hill of Crosses still stands strong as more than 100,000 crosses decorate the place with a religious fervour. Curious much? Read more about this place here

The hill of crosses: sacred or Scary? You get to decide!

This Halloween 2021, visit and see this mysterious wonder as Dangling rosaries chime in the blowing wind will create the perfect soundtrack as you stroll around admiring this work of art.

Paris Catacombs, France

The only thing visible to your eye up to a certain distance is human skulls; if that alone doesn’t make it one of the scariest places on earth, then you have our gutsy award!

What makes this skull-filled adventure even scarier is not just the fact that these are actual human skulls, but the fact that several visitors who had been to the Paris Catacombs had gotten lost wandering alone in this creep-real. Not to worry, that’s why our guided tours help you get back safely!

To give you more insight into this place, here’s a Tragical story alert!

It all started when bodies from Paris’s cemeteries were moved down into the city’s former limestone quarries; this led to underground tunnels of 6 million bodies from its past.

This might be the perfect add-on to your Halloween getaway! What do you think?

Loftus Hall, County Wexford

Now we come in direct contact with a place where the devil himself set foot on! Ireland has its share of scariest places in the UK, everything from haunted castles to ancient satanic clubs that will make the ghost-hunter in you happy. Well, in this case, you will see the evidence he left. (We don’t say his name!) The Loftus Hall has stories of a girl named Anne, who haunts the place, not only being prepared for ghost sighting but something a bit creepier. Along with that, you get to see the mysterious mark on the roof, which the devil left before he flew through the roof. Visitors can visit via a pre-booked guided tour of the hall and see its eerie specialities. Why wait now? Get packing this Halloween 2021.

Hoia-baciu forest, Romania

A photograph of a “UFO” hovering over the forest in 1968 made many heads turn (mysterious alien music plays).

Making the atmosphere even more spooky while hiking the forest trails or biking is the curved trees that encompass the forest, and it doesn’t stop there!

From UFO sightings to a sinister-looking atmosphere, the hoia-baciu forest ticks all the boxes to make it one of the scariest places in the world.

If you are ready to witness this wicked forest, make your way to experience it.

Pendle Hill, Lancashire

The story starts from the 17th century where 10 witches were buried after being found guilty of the murder of up to ten people.

Now the spirits of the witches haunt the villages, and many people say about their supernatural encounters when in Pendle Hill.

If you feel like going witch hunting, then take picturesque walking routes and see what this experience offers! It might not be one of the scariest places on earth, but it is one of the most haunted places in England.

See if you can spot a pointed hat!

Chillingham Castle, Northumberland

This castle can make an appearance in the upcoming horror movies! With a past full of tragic stories, you’re in for an adventure of a lifetime when you visit.

People have witnessed tortured spirits and friendly ghosts in their experience with the Chillingham Castle, the most common ones are the ghost of a frail figure in white begging for water and the Blue Boy who haunts the pink room.

All of these stories together make this castle one of the most haunted places in England.

Do you feel like you are all set for a hair-raising journey? Then the Chillingham Castle awaits.

Halloween is just around the corner, and we’ve got you prepped up with the scariest places on earth! We’re Bringing you the spine-tingling experiences that will make your Halloween the best one ever. This Halloween 2021, make your spooky stories even spookier by planning your getaway with us. Happy trick or treating! (Evil laugh)

Read More:- Exploring the scariest places on earth this Halloween!

This Article, Information & Images Source (copyright):- Travel Center UK Blog

#Travel #Traveller #Travel Blogger #Travel Blog #Travel Vibes #Holiday Makers #Halloween

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