#((i am litreally BEGGING you))

[caruliaa]

ANYWAYY if ur looking for more cs esp carulia content then please i am litreally genuinly begging you to check out my cs art and maybe consider rbing some of it if you like it especially since i get muchh much muchh less notes then other carulia artists in this fandom despite being the only person who still posts carulia art semi often

[srafseeker]

bbc   cast   mary   challenge  

[kayyaclove]

A Horror High School.

Well, we meet again. How are you doing? I’m doing well, sort of. But that’s another topic for another day. Maybe tomorrow, who knows. 

So as typed into the title, I wanted to talk about my first month of high school. I’m currently in Year 10 or Form 4 as some may know it to be. It actually a long story so sit tight. 

Let’s go back to summer, shall we? I was busy spending my summer like any other introvert; watching anime on my bed, munching on snacks, when I decided that I didn’t want to spend the final two years in my old school, so I begged my mother to transfer me into a national school and she agreed, saying that it was way overdue. 

You see, in my previous school, I was fine until I entered middle school. I had good people around me, until they weren’t there. Litreally, on the first day, a new student mocked me for my eye color. Dumb, I know. I closed my eyes and thought; “I have to get through this with my head held high.” Guess what? I failed in my second year. 

By far one of the worst years of my life. In the first year, I had met a girl, who I’ll call Kami for now. I got pretty close to her and we eventually became like ‘sisters’. Even other people would call us that. 

As the moths progressed, Kami, started to get really touchy with me; always sitting next to me, hugging me for too long, saying stuff that was suspicious, to say the least. One day, she came out as pansexual which I, of course, accepted, after all, I had nothing against people of the LGBT+ community. 

Then, she came out as transgender and, I, being so naive, accepted her fully. It took me awhile to get used to using male pronouns. This is when things started to spiral.

When I would go out with him and the group of friends, they would go out to drink and smoke. I, always rejected their offers. Kami, who I’ll now call, Kyle, would consistently grab me from my back and sometimes even my ass. I was pretty uncomfortable at first, but it became okay after a while. It wasn’t really. 

Kyle started to flirt then. Without realizing, I was started to have feelings for said best friend. I was so scared of expressing my feelings to anyone really and not just romantic feelings, any type of emotion I felt, I was scared to express, even now. 

Kyle began to pick up on my feelings and things skyrocketed. We had gone out for a birthday as a group and we were forced into a game of truth or dare. I hated that game and I still do. They gave me a triple dare; to either make out with Kyle, scream in the streets or send a message to one of my old friends. 

I was forced into the first option by one of the girls who was flirting with Kyle, by the way. They took us outside, into the rain, next to the beach. It was a romantic scene but what happened next was horrific. Keep in mind, that I had never kissed anyone before. 

I was terrified at first but then I just did it. And it was disgusting. After that, I went home and the next day people kept asking me how was it. I only replied with, “It was okay but I was forced into it and I don’t ever want to do it again.” People then went to tell Kyle that I hate him and that I simply used him for publicity. 

He then believed them instead and spent a month ignoring me and making out with other girls. I was very hurt and kept trying to talk to him and apologize. Looking back, I should’ve slapped him and forgotten him. 

To be honest, I had gotten too attached to him to let him go. He had already forgotten me by then and was using other girls to make me feel pain. 

No matter how many times I tried, nothing got his attention. At this point, I had completely forgotten that I was a human being and should be respected. I had started to lose weight and got sick, which eventually led me to the hospital. I wasn’t anorexic, I had something called gastritis but I’m much better now. 

One day, he wanted to become friends again and let go of everything that happened before. I agreed but I knew I couldn’t trust him anymore and after a while, he took the hint that I never wanted to have anything to do with him again. The friends then tried to convince me that he was in pain and that I had wronged him. I was enraged by then, seeing as no one in that school seemed to care about me. After all, I was the one who got hurt first and in a greater way, might I say. 

A year goes by and this time it doesn’t involve Kyle. But it was the last year I’d spend there. I then transferred and this is where I am now. 

It was so sudden so no one knew. On the first day, I received so many messages but none were from Kyle. I wasn’t shocked at this point. After breaking it to them, they stopped texting me. 

I was terrified in the new school. I thought that I would get used by everyone and that everyone didn’t care about the new girl. I was mistaken. 

The moment I stepped through the door, I was greeted by a group of the best people and although they won’t read this, thank you E, J, L, I, D, P, S, D. You guys mean a lot to me. 

The moral of this long-ass story is that no matter where you’re gonna go, you’re gonna feel pain and you’re gonna get hurt. There’s no way to sugarcoat it. The world hurts, but it’s up to you on how you are gonna react or learn from it. 

Take everyday as a lesson and don’t take a mistake as your defeat. Life is just trial and error and everyone learns through mistakes. 

Thank you for reading this and I hope you learned something from this just like I did. Bye <3