#((instead of. say. getting a bit bossy or snippy.

[void-tiger]

Thinking about you, even when I can’t be around you, I want to be better, and want better for myself. I feel brave enough to be ambitious.

And when anxiety isn’t eating away at either of us? I can finally feel safe enough to be at rest. Not need to fade away or else be “on” all the time. (I still want you to feel as comfortable teasing me playfully and cracking jokes directly with me and letting yourself ramble that you are seemingly with everyone else, though. That’s how I truly know I’m connected to someone.)

In short, I miss you. And it has nothing to do with your travels.

[dlamp-dictator]

Quick Thoughts on 7.5

Okay, finished 7.5 a few days ago, took some time to get my thoughts together, here are some of my thoughts and opinions. Story-wise I liked it a lot, but gameplay-wise... I'm a bit nervous about the future as well.

Gameplay

Words cannot describe the panic attack I nearly had when the first stage was against the Envy Peccatulum. I let out the ugliest gasp when I saw that purple aura and only calmed down when I realized it was the underpowered Liu team, but let that be a sign of things to come.

Overall, most of the stages where doable and I got through them on the first try. Some I failed because I... didn't realize I hadn't uptie-3'd Full-Stop!Hong Lu (oops), some I failed because the 7.5 only doled out burn EGO gifts for my sink-bleed team and had to take a day to grind out a burn team (I'm sharding Faust next week).

Unbreakable coins are going to be annoying in the future. The chip damage and extra bleed of Canto 7 is now about to be unavoidable ailment affliction and actual real damage since most unbreakable had some pretty high base floors of around 14-16.

The remnant dungeon enemies that gained coin power for being targeted in an unfocused fight was straight up cancer and this is a game that already gives enemies some rather bullshit passive in the late game (looking at you Dead Rabbits and Butlers).

The dungeon straight up needing burn team to get through the boss in a timely manner honestly sucks, but since I just had to spend a day getting that team together I'll tolerate it for now.

Overall, the game's gonna' make unbreakable coins very annoying to deal with and we're probably going to need a competent team of 9 sinners instead of 6 like usual, but... we'll see how I'm feeling during the next event in a few months.

Story

Story I'm a little mixed on. Overall I liked what I read, but I'm also curious about where things are going to go from here. The idea of the Sinner's essentially having downtime and getting some minor lore reveals is nice, but the lack of any real meat in terms of plot development feels... off. We learned a bit about Don, a bit about how Limbus Company works as... well, a company, a bit about some of the Sinners and their interactions with one another, but nothing really groundbreaking. We've got a whole other Intervallo before the next Canto, but... yeah, this felt a little weak overall.

I heard some folks complaining about how out-of-character the Sinners felt given they were a lot more sarcastic and snippy towards each other, but I'm in the group that's fine with this. The Sinners have always picked and prodded at each other, that's just how they are. The big difference between the first 3-ish Cantos and now is that they finally have downtime to kid around with each other. Despite all the found family themes within the story they're still living in The City, a place known for creating emotionally distant and antisocial people at heart, and they're all coworkers first, and allies second.

All that said, there were some out of character moments and some character stagnation I agree with. Gregor needs a little more to do than be the general friendly Sinner and more-or-less everyman of the team, Outis's shtick of being a bossy bootlicker is getting tiring, and as we're closing in on the second half of our Sinners we need a little more development from the quieter ones like Ryoshu and Meursault.

In terms of the now in-universe tierlist I gotta' say it feels weird that Hong Lu is the gatekeeper of the upper tiers. Not so much story-wise, as even his little sister was level 50 and a decent rupture unit, but just... due to his nature. I guess we'll learn more in Canto 8. Ish being on the lower end feels weird given her worldly knowledge and adaptability, but speaking in terms of fighting prowess it makes sense. Gregor being a weird outlier feels... wrong, but like I said, we haven't had much Gregor (story) content lately, so this might be setting seeds for later events.

Might have to take a second look at things to be sure about all that, but story-wise I do feel a little disappointed. Hopefully the next Intervallo does something interesting to get us all hyped for Canto 8.

[theunintentionallyawesomeone]

no one cares but it's my blog and I get to rant on it bc it helps me feel better and explore my thoughts.

But yes I am still mad about what went down w my coworker Friday.

The more I stew the more I get annoyed (not healthy I know) bc like as far as I know I only did what I was accused of twice?

And one time I will argue was 100% ok bc another coworker literally tried to wash her hands with powdered bleach and that's dangerous???? Like I get it, they touched something gross but I will go down as being bossy or whatever about that.

Like I guess my pushing about leaving wild animals alone bc u can get zoological illness without being bitten was too much since it was not related to a currently happening event.

I think the part that makes me most angry is when I was told to stop or that coworker would go to our boss about it. I'm mad at myself for not realizing it wasn't a joke and making smart-ass comments when just saying 'ok sorry' would have ended it but also I'm annoyed bc I still don t think I was 100% in the wrong for it. Especially since everyone got mad at me for moving something heavy by myself but me saying 'be careful'and 'don't use ajax as soap' is somehow not ok...

(I'm still going to say 'be careful' a lot anyway since we're moving shit and using chemicals that make the floors slick as shit...)

Thinking back im starting to wonder if it's not so much the being annoying or over talking or be careful but whom these events tended to happen to? The youngest coworker was the receiving end of both the events from Friday and I vaguely recall them getting snippy about my be careful while moving stuff.

I know they don't like me and I get flustered by them bc imo they have a bit of a dunning-kurger effect bc they were at the same building last year. (I've worked that building too but not last year, AND I've been doing this job for a literal fucking decade. I know what im doing more often than not...)

Like idk maybe they went and complained about me to the other coworker who talked to me? Maybe they're misinterpreting some of my comments as more aggressive than I intended them to be?

Maybe they just don't like me bc I'm loud and annoying and don't go to the same church as them.

I'm still tempted to bring my good headphones to work and just try not to talk to anyone...cant "be mean" or pushy or whatever if im focused on my tunes.

... honestly they'd probably like it. ..

I'm tired of day shift. I want it over with. I want my lonely nightshift back where I can listen to a podcast and not have to be confronted with people or my terrible social skills. If someone wants to use bleach as hand soap or pick up wild bats or try to shove a bench under an open in some tables instead of just carrying it 5 feet down the hall to an open space, then fine. Not my problem. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

[nanomooselet]

Hello! I'm not a Japanese speaker, so I have to go on second-hand info about word choice in Japanese. However, I'm very very much into writing dialogue and speech patterns in English, so I can voice some opinions on the dub's choices!

In English to me Vash sounds like he's, what's would be the term... switching modes? He's got silly mode and he's got serious mode. There's always a lot going on when he speaks, but it's beneath the surface and he keeps it there. Flailing around and being pathetic or saying something silly it does seem like he's playing it up, and the rest of the time he's putting effort into keeping his voice/tone soft and gentle. The exception is his more extreme emotional reactions, outbursts of genuine rage, pain or grief; they don't sound controlled, which makes sense. They're rare but extremely noticeable.

No notes on Legato or Roberto, heh. They're just very good. Roberto's so funny in English, he's got a knack for verbal flourishes. Legato sounds so… smug and snakey.

Wolfwood in English to me sounds immature. As far as I can tell they're not playing up an accent for him; instead, he talks like his education wasn't great. His articulation is rough and somewhat drawling rather than clipped and officious like Meryl's. The exchange when he's talking with Meryl in the windmill village, for instance - he says "It's not milling," (not the correct term for what he's describing, he's just using it because he assumes that windmills mill) and then when Meryl tells him "It's the way wind power has always worked!" he replies, "A stupid way." He sounds like a surly teenage boy. He also tends towards harsh and crude turns of phrase - not cruel, exactly, but pointedly vulgar. It is less distinctive than his voice in Japanese, unfortunately. As far as his characterisation goes, I think it works. But I do prefer his Japanese actor.

It's funny you say Meryl sounds more mature in English! It's the opposite to me, she sounds thoughtlessly snippy and bossy - best way to describe it might be that she's trying to talk like a grown-up, but doesn't have an adult's consideration for the opinions of others. She likes showing off, she talks fast, and it's easy to get her to raise her voice or assume a superior tone. And her bravado vanishes if she's uncertain, she turns meek and awkward. On the flip side, when enthusiastic she's very open and excited.

Nai! I won't front, I love his actor and I love his writing in English, but the story goes that Orange specifically requested he be more "villainous" in the dub and I couldn't tell you why. Honestly, I like both about the same, but for different reasons. I can tell you that he makes direct allusions to the Christian Bible and his word choice when he does is very, very grandiose - presumptive, arrogant and full of himself. As for Vash, he's gentler talking to him than anyone else, but his tone/word choice doing so, whoof, it's uncomfortable. Dismissive and condescending, at best. At worst it's targeted cruelty, picking away at what he knows will hurt Vash, or just the most disgusting disrespect. For instance, he keeps bringing up Vash doing "tricks", meaning something cute that a domesticated animal does on command, but it can also mean something even more insulting, and I'm sure both meanings are intended. He pretty much never talks to humans besides Dr. Conrad, but talking about them, there's always at least a slight undertone of disgust and contempt.

WRT referring to the Plants as feminine, hmm. Knives comes across as misogynistic towards human women no matter what the language. With the Plants I'd call him paternalistic instead; he assumes he has authority over them as a superior and caregiver. He might call them people rather than objects, but they are still his inferiors and he gets to decide what's best for them and what they need, like how he keeps calling himself Vash's older brother.

Anyway, the rest of the time in the English Knives mostly sounds… a bit insane? It's hard to describe. Like he can't decide whether he's about to laugh or cry and stays perpetually on the verge of both, so his voice comes out almost as a whisper, trembling with emotion. His anger is explosive. In fanfic I tend to base my writing on their English dub voices, because that's the language I can express my thoughts in most clearly - it's much easier to add the sort of texture I like. Plus English is supposedly the language they speak on No Man's Land! But I watch sub and dub both, trying to pinpoint what places they overlap and discern the intended effect. So it's not only based on the English voices - they're just where I start.

So I finally found a way to watch tristamp in English dub (I only ever watched the series in Japanese). I haven’t done any deeper thoughts and analysis, and I’m only halfway through the series but here’s my impression so far:

- I love English dub Vash, especially his gibberish noises, such a chaotic dumbass (affectionate), and although some of his jokes and mannerism didn’t translate as well as I hoped, they did a very good job. They deserved two dozen donuts. (although if you hold me at gunpoint and ask me to choose English or Japanese Vash I will choose the Japanese version with a thin margin because I have personal bias towards Matsuoka Yoshitsugu [he’s from where I live lol, and I’m a big fan])

- I’m also in love with how they play Legato and Roberto, especially Legato, I was surprised by the lack of the feeling out of place (Is that the right word? sorry my brain suddenly stopped working in English) that you usually have when you hear a show dubbed in another language you’re not used to hearing. So smooth. And they nailed the drunkle speech with Roberto.

- I honestly was disappointed with the lack of accent in Wolfwood’s speech (maybe I just didn’t hear it correctly? Idk) because he speaks in heavy Kansai dialect in Japanese, even when he was a child (also casting Hosoya Yoshimasa really emphasized the accent). A huge missed opportunity on the English dub, in my opinion. I was expecting Wolfwood with a heavy Southern accent or something. And on that note they also missed the chance to add some dialect for the worm hunters on episode 4.

- English dub Meryl feels mature and a lot more pulled together to me compared to the Japanese version, which sounds very pristine and innocent until she starts learning about the world. It makes her a little… out of place for me who’s used to Meryl speaking in a very polite formal Japanese to everyone (even when she’s yelling in rage or when she’s cursing people). I think it suits Meryl from ‘98 anime more than tristamp Meryl. Probably because you can’t really translate her distinct way of speaking accurately, it’s not anyone’s fault, just a matter of different language. But I guess I like the Japanese version better for Meryl. I just love the way she speaks, shame there’s no English equivalent to her speech style.

- I don’t like English dub Nai. I’m 100% going with the Japanese version in this. Not the performance, though, I know translations are really hard and I do think the English VA did a great job, but as someone who’s used to how Nai speak in Japanese, the dub just… didn’t feel right. In Japanese Nai speaks in a relatively rougher manner compared to Vash (in how he chooses his words, also the subtle but different way he talks to humans and to Vash) didn’t show as much in the English dub. And his pretentious speech that sounds like some people from the church near my house doesn’t get carried to the English dub, I guess. In English he just sounds like a scary villain to me, while in Japanese I can feel his emotions and (warped) love towards Vash just from his words. I saw someone pointing out that Nai refers to the dependent plants with feminine pronouns, and it’s even more prominent and emphasized in the Japanese version. They’re not wrong. Maybe in English it can come across as a bit misogynistic(?), I don’t know, but I like how he does this in Japanese, because to me it feels like he’s always trying to refer to them as “persons” and not “things”, although his treatment towards them is contradictory.

This ended up longer than I expected but overall I enjoyed the English dub and I love analyzing different languages. I wanna know how it feels for people who know absolutely zero Japanese watching the series in English dub and in Japanese with English subtitles. I know that there were differences in the subtitles and the dub but for me I can’t compare English sub and dub because I’d just go with my Japanese interpretation if I watch the subbed version (or I’d rather just ditch the subtitle altogether because sometimes it’s making my brain confused when I speak both languages).

Also to people who write Trigun fanfics in English, where do you base the character speech from? I don’t know how to translate Japanese dialects, so Wolfwood, for example, is very difficult for me to write in English.

[emeren]

Mmm maybe eren walking in on the reader using a vibrator and offering to help her and over stimulating her..

you got it! here it comes :)

red handed - eren jaeger 

pairing: eren jaeger x fem!reader 

word count: 2.5k

content warnings: smut, 18+, masturbation, overstimulation, crying

notes: this one was fun to write, it was my first time writing about a vibrator so idk if it’s that good but i hope you all enjoy nevertheless! <3

you sighed to yourself, anxiously glancing at the clock. your roommate had informed you he wouldn’t be back until around nine; the numbers 7:30 blinking back at you expectantly. there was no way he’d be home early; eren was late to nearly everything he did. 

deciding to move into a small, crappy apartment with your childhood best friend had seemed like a good idea at the time. you and eren knew each other forwards and backwards; right side up and upside down. 

what you didn’t know was just how needy eren could be. he hated being bored more than anything in the world. he was always lingering, always pestering you to go do something. he would sometimes just walk into your room and stand there, asking you what you were doing and if you wanted to hangout. 

most of the time you didn’t mind. most of the time. but there were instances where the lack of a lock on both your bedroom and bathroom doors became an issue.

instances where the pent up hormones became too much to bear and you had to relieve yourself, quickly and quietly. 

you thanked your lucky stars that eren had decided to go out with some friends tonight. you’d finally be able to enjoy a moment of bliss for the first time in well over two weeks. 

after double checking that the front door was locked and peaking your head into eren’s room to make extra sure he was gone, you skipped to your own space with an air of giddiness. finally some alone time!

you softly closed the door behind you, turning to look at your beside table. pulling the small drawer open and rifling through various pieces of junk, your eyes landed on the small, inconspicuous piece of plastic. 

you’d come to realize that your hand wasn’t quick enough to combat eren’s nosey nature, and after a few near misses, you invested in your very first vibrator. 

it was a light pink color; just nearly longer than your middle finger. you picked it up carefully before plunking down on your hard mattress. you shifted so your back was pressed against the head board, knees slightly bent. 

you could feel yourself aching in anticipation, cold hand slipping past the hem of your pajama pants to press the plastic device against your clit. your thumb moved to click the on button, halting as you heard a floorboard creak from out in the hall. 

“ugh,” you muttered to yourself, trying to quell your paranoia. “eren’s not gonna be home for at least an hour.” 

you paused for a minute longer, ears straining. when you were met with just the distant sound of sirens, you allowed yourself to continue, clicking the button. the soft vibration buzzed against your nerves, breath hitching involuntarily at the sudden pleasure. 

it was a wonderful feeling; your chest heaving as your lower half embraced the foreign object. you leaned your head back against the wall, shifting to a more comfortable position as you bent your knees for better leverage. 

your mind began to wander, an image of eren popping into your brain. a few years ago, you would’ve cringed and banished the thought away, but you’d come to acknowledge there was no denying just how attractive your best friend was, no matter how guilty it made you feel. 

you pictured his muscular back, leaned over the sink as he washed dishes with a pair of black sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips. you could feel your face heat, closing your eyes as the pressure within the pit of your stomach began to build. 

it was easy to reach your breaking point with the vibrator; breath growing shallow as the image of eren’s muscular arms and defined v-line started to fog your mind. you exhaled out through your nose, the gentle buzzing making your clit twitch with desired release. 

you were so wrapped up, so distracted. it was the single moment of bliss right before your orgasm, face hot and hands clammy. 

you’d never let your mind wander so far before, but you were beginning to imagine eren touching you; letting his hands wander down your skin and caressing your curves, squeezing and- 

“what’re you doing?” a voice startled you from the moment of peace, replaced by an overwhelming embarrassment as your eyes snapped open, focusing on the tall figure leaning against the open doorframe. 

eren’s arms were crossed, face shadowed as he observed you. you quickly sat up, pulling your vibrator from your pants and clicking it off. the pace of your heartbeat was through the roof, eyes wide and chest tight. how fucking embarrassing! 

“i’m- i was-,” you were at a loss for words, standing from your bed. your heart pinged with annoyance, the embarrassment quickly dissipating into anger. “can’t you learn to fucking knock?”

eren didn’t say anything, quirking a brow at your snippy tone. it just aggravated you more, your brain trying to combat the dopamine that never truly reached its full potential. he stood in your doorway, staring you down as you seethed in your place.

“don’t be embarrassed,” he spoke softly. his face had some unknown expression on it, one you’d never seen before. his pupils were dilated, brows furrowed and gaze serious. “it’s a normal thing to do.” 

you huffed, shifting your legs in an attempt to quell the burning between your thighs. “i know that. what’s not normal is you barging into my room without knocking when you weren’t even supposed to be home for another hour.”

“i got bored, so i decided to come home and hangout with you,” he explained. his lip was curved upwards, as if he were trying to suppress a smirk. “s’more fun here anyway.” 

you frowned at his words, your mind flashing that image of his rough hands trailing down your body, squeezing. you swallowed at the thought, the anger quickly being overpowered by your unfinished arousal. “how long were you standing there?”

“long enough to know you didn’t finish,” he commented, holding eye contact as your eyebrows raised in surprise. you opened your mouth to respond, but eren beat you to it. “c’mon, i think i know you pretty well.” 

“not like that,” you muttered demurely, the dull ache nearly too much to bear. you felt like you’d be antsy till you got off, shifting uncomfortably as your eyes fell to the floor. “could you- could you give me some privacy?” 

eren didn’t respond for a moment, the sound of your bedroom door shutting sending a feeling of relief to your brain. you looked up, frown deepening. 

eren was leaning against the closed door, eyes dark and serious. “let me help you.”

his words sent a confused throb to your cunt, face going slack. was this really happening? 

“eren, you don’t mean…” you breathed out, the ache in your center multiplying tenfold at the sight of his tall and muscular figure staring down at you. shit, shit, shit!

“i do,” he responded seriously, taking a step towards you. he was normally tall and formidable, but in the darkness of your bedroom, he seemed infinite. you paused for a moment, your resolve already thin due to the incessant throbbing of your clit. eren seemed to take notice, eyeing you carefully. “who better than your best friend?” 

you held your breath before responding. you’d been thinking of this, dreaming of this. now here he was, standing before you and looking at you as though you were his for the taking. and it excited you. it excited you to no end. “i- okay.” 

eren was quick to smile, stepping up to you. you craned your neck to look at him, heartbeat erratic as his calloused hands ran down your bare arms. he slowly lowered himself to his knees before you, fingers hooking under the waistband of your pajamas. 

his teal eyes glanced up to you, asking for permission. you were afraid your voice wouldn’t work, instead feverishly nodding your head in acceptance. he pulled your pants down tantalizingly slow; like he was unwrapping some sacred gift. 

you bit your lip as your thighs became exposed, the feeling of eren’s hot breath fanning across the newly exposed skin. he leaned forward, eyes still locked with yours as he placed a kiss to the soft flesh, lips slicked with chapstick. it was sinful and he knew it.��

your cotton pants dropped to the floor, standing in nothing but your underwear and a t-shirt. eren’s gaze grew heavy on your panties - the inevitable wet spot showing just how desperate you were for attention. 

“trying to finish before i got home?” he cooed, curling his lip. you felt your face heat, glancing away. 

“yeah,” you responded bashfully, eren motioning his head towards the bed. 

he breathed out a laugh at your answer, giving your thigh that deeply desired squeeze. “that’s so cute. bet you’re so needy for me now, hm?” 

you could feel yourself growing wetter at his words, choosing to sit on the end of the bed in front of him rather than respond. he kissed your leg again, eyes catching on something beside you. 

“what’s this?” he smirked, reaching to grab your vibrator. you were too slow to react, reaching for it in vain as eren inspected it. “tsk, tsk. sit back down.” 

you hadn’t even realized you’d lifted from the mattress, eren’s dark tone making you abide as though you had no free will. 

he gave you a sadistic look, lunging forward to press his tongue flat against your clothed clit. you hissed at the feeling, hands fisting your bed sheets. eren chuckled against you, the vibration making your stomach burn. 

“just that already has you squirming?” he mumbled, lips pressing a kiss. as if this couldn’t get anymore embarrassing. “’s’hot.” 

you breathed out, the sight of eren between your legs in the lowly lit room entirely too attractive. you weren’t surprised he was so bossy and vocal, hand tapping your leg impatiently. 

“off.” he deadpanned, leaning back to watch you as you stood, yanking your underwear down your legs. you tried to quell your excitement; eren’s pupils growing impossibly larger at the sight of your exposed cunt. you sat back down, breath shaky as eren situated himself in front of you. “so wet already.”

eren, just as he always had been, was impatient. you’d just sat down and he was prying your knees apart, tongue hungrily pressing itself against your center. he was sloppy; eating you out with an animalistic hunger that had you nearing your climax much faster than usual. 

“eren,” you whimpered, the feeling of his tongue circling your entrance causing a moan to ripple from your mouth. the sound of his name only made him suck harder. he wasn’t letting up; absolutely determined to bring you to your high as fast as possible. “m’gonna cum, eren.” 

he groaned at your words, arms hooking around your thighs to hold you in place as he focused intently on your clit. the warm, wet feeling was becoming too much; edges of your vision growing dark as you let your release come crashing down, legs twitching as eren released his suction on you. 

he looked at you just long enough for you to notice the sheen on his chin, the sparkle in his eyes, and the grin on his lips. “been waiting so long for this, i’m gonna make the best of it.” 

your chest was heaving, brows pulled down in confusion as eren brought his first two fingers to your entrance, circling it twice before stuffing you with his long digits. 

you were burning, just having come down from your embarrassingly quick release only to have eren fucking you with his fingers. they easily slid in and out, wet with your sheen as he began to gently suck on your inner thigh. your vision was hazy, eren pushing his digits in to the last knuckle and curling slightly. 

the feeling of another release was building in your core; churning and readying you to succumb to eren’s will once more. and you were ready; a breathy moan leaving your lips as he angled his fingers particularly deep. you laid down, hands subconsciously lifting to grope your own chest - searching for an anchor. 

“shit,” eren swore at the sight of you palming your breasts, squirming in his hold as his fingers pumped in and out of you, quickening his pace. you whimpered in response, screwing your eyes shut. 

you felt the cold object press against your clit before he turned it on; eyes widening in surprise as you shot up. eren was grinning at you, thumb clicking it on as an involuntary cry ripped from your chest. 

the vibration was too much as his digits abused your cunt, stuffing into you as far as possible. your clit twitched aggressively, face and neck hot. your brain was growing fuzzy, thoughts clouded as you stared down at eren, mouth hanging open and eyes glossy. he was watching you seriously, pressing the vibrator harder against your clit in order to make you jolt. 

you were burning, abdomen flexing as your eyes began to water. the sensations were too much, legs trying to close but you were blocked by eren’s broad shoulders. 

you’d never been one to scream, but you couldn’t help the strangled sound that escaped your mouth as eren included his tongue in the overstimulating mix. hot, sticky tears slid down your cheeks, eren’s tongue lapping at the spot where his fingers disappeared inside of you. 

his eye contact. oh, his eye contact. it was pervasive and inspective, analyzing every sound and movement you made. 

he pulled his tongue back for just a moment, the vibrator buzzing intensely against you. “cum for me.” 

and you did. it was too much; your legs jerking and stomach cramping, mind turned to mush at the overflow of dopamine. you collapsed back on the bed, eren leaving the vibrator pressed against your clit for a moment longer, the feeling now more uncomfortable than anything. you waved your hand, too exhausted to beg him to take it off. eren only chuckled, pulling his fingers from you but pressing the object against you harder. 

“let me see those tears,” he said sweetly, tapping your thigh. it was a sinister sweetness, the tears pooling down your face as you began to grown numb below your waist. you forced yourself to sit up, eren smiling as he saw your wet face. “good girl.”

he removed the vibrator, tossing it on the bed as he stood. you laid back down, breathing heavy and legs weak. eren hovered above you, leaning down to wipe your cheeks. 

“next time, just ask for my help,” he sneered, your eyes rolling weakly. he had a boyish grin on his face, something teasing about his nature. “i’m way better than some stupid vibrator, anyway.” 

<3 <3 <3 

[crossroadsimagine]

What would Tobirama and Hashirama need from an S/O in a relationship?? Hcs Please!!

☰ Tobirama

■ Someone who is on the spontaneous side and can push him to doing new things, even if he doesn’t want to. Because he will feel obligated to go along with his S/O if they are going to do something on a whim.

■ Someone who will point out his rude or grouchy behavior or attitude at times. Especially when he is being overly harsh or rude towards someone. and who won’t crumble against him if he gets snippy towards them as a result. Not that they argue with him but more so point out that he shouldn’t say this or that, or be so hard on this person or that person.

■ A general happy, easy going and funny personality, that makes jokes and can make light of situations or joke around. Because a general humorous and happy S/O will put him at ease and even cheer him up at times.

■ Calming someone who can calm a situation or conflict instead of fueling it, because when he does lose his temper he can go all out. And it’s better if you do not leap into the argument to also argue or defend anything. He needs someone that can ease the situation and not only stop an argument and defuse it but also calm him down afterwards.

■ An adventurous and outgoing S/O who likes to stay busy, try new things. Who can also push or instigate him to try new things with them. Someone who can inspire him to have some fun or at least relax from time to time.

■ Someone who doesn’t agree with everything he says, while he would prefer that. He needs someone that can challenge his ideas or thoughts, as well as someone who will fight for what they believe in. For he has a much harder time believing he’s right.

☰ Hashirama

■ Validating and encouraging towards him, attentive and affectionate for he feels needed and wanted. Because he can get lonely and depressed rather easily and will need to feel needed to some degree.

■ Organization, planning and able to set dates or plans and keep him to a schedule. He can get over excited about ideas and his own thoughts and doesn’t always think about planning things out, and would greatly benefit from a S/O who can make plans for dates and outings as well as any other events in his life.

■ More controlling and dominant than he is and able to easily control a situation, Because he can be unrealistic and has a tendency to be a bit spontaneous at times, and will need someone who can keep him and check.

■ Able to easily understand his point of view and others, and be able to sympathize with him over things, without him needing to explain it to you. He clicks very well with someone who can immediately understand something he’s feeling or going through.

■ Capable of taking care of him in more of a house wife way, because he’s not particularly greatly skilled or knowledgeable when it comes to household tasks. And can also get carried away with other things at times and may not get enough sleep or eat enough when he’s busy.

■ Stern and Bossy at times and not afraid to give rough reality checks and tell it as it is. Only because he can be a little too optimistic at times. Which doesn’t mean you have to shut down all his ideas or thoughts, but at least the more outrageous ones.

[chichorie]

12, 25, 32, and 48 for megumi!!

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

megumi is very well educated, but she doesn’t really tend to speak in a way that would make you think she was anything above average intelligence. she’s pretty ordinary and normal in most ways, and doesnt tend to use impressive vocabulary or anything like that since she thinks it would get annoying. if she really wanted, she could definitely start nerding out or prove that she really is highly intelligent, she just doesnt most of the time. it could also be chalked up to not wanting to be a know-it-all or seem like she thinks shes better than anyone just because shes smart.

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

when shes not studying or doing homework or reading (typical i know) megumi actually kind of enjoys doing some artistic things for fun! she keeps a journal and sometimes fills in blank spots and margins with doodles when she’s bored, and though they aren’t good, she gets surprisingly really excited about it. she’ll also occasionally dabble with poetry and writing a bit, though she’s definitely not great at it by any means. she doesn’t really like anyone else to see any of it, because its all usually pretty personal and its a way for her to let out some bottled up emotions.

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

she will try to stay calm in most situations, and knows that if she doesn’t then chances are things are just going to get worse. she doesn’t break under pressure often and will strive to do her best no matter what. She knows avoiding it won’t do her any good either, so when presented with the situation, she’d try to tackle it right away instead of potentially causing herself more stress by letting it sit and fester. she can be kind of no-nonsense about things like this and tends to get a bit bossy if working with others and snippy if anyone tries to bother her. its not really fun to be around her in times like this, but she’ll do what she needs to.

48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

she’ll nervously use her hands a lot when trying to speak, out of habit and because they might get the gist of what shes trying to say if she motions to something or gestures what it is with her hands. when not speaking, she tends to hold onto her arms or generally keep them somewhere defensively, like, crossed or covering her front. she also has a habit or fiddling with her fingers, and doesnt make eye contact unless shes comfortable or it’s necessary.

ask me about my OCs!! (please)

[musiccosmosru]

As you all know by now I’m not the easiest person to love.

I require a lot of hard work, patience and effort.

I’m needy, overly emotional and Scorpio in every sense. I have Libra and Gemini in my chart too so………..yeah. Drama to say the least.

But my new found understanding of the human psyche has helped me gain so much perspective on the core fundamentals of a healthy mind resulting in a healthy body.

Our minds and body let us know in so many various ways your Soul is hurting and we don’t even realize it.

For one, the sadder you are the more you sleep.

Secondly when your sad or depressed you’re likely to get colds and flus.

When your sad or depressed you can become impatient, snippy and frustrated.

Heavy period, no period, constipation, diarrhea, etc…..

Headaches, nausea, sore tummy, feeling like your stomach is in knots, tense muscles, loss of appetite etc…..all indicators of neglected mental health.

Because the phyiscal is connected to the psychological or left brain, as well as the conscious or right brain/ higher self.

The light inside us starts in our tummy and goes up through our head if you want a visual.

You can’t have one without tuther.

If one goes, the rest follow suit.

Now……I ALWAYS say find a positive in ever negative.

Turn hurdles into stepping stones.

I’m a great motivator for others because I believe in order to advice with the best of our ability an Empathic Pathwalker must know the pain with which they are to heal.

Only when you know the pain can you show someone how to survive it.

My life has been hard. Not as hard as some but emotionally and mentally it’s been brutal.

I truly believe if I wasn’t Scorpio, I wouldn’t have come out of a lot of my life relative stable considering.

The truth is. I’m not perfect and I too have my days.

My relationship circumstances aren’t easy and because I love with the intensity of a million sun’s I’m finding not having daily phone contact with my husband difficult.

The phone company have caused months of stress for many of us international wives and now I’ve had to get the FCC involved because the phone company are just lying through their teeth in an attempt to force me to use the most expensive premium phone line which is against FCC regulations.

I’ve tried going to the Attorney General, Justice Department, Prison Advocacy groups, BBB, etc….and the only ones to step in are the FCC, BBB and Justice Department but it’s been three months of pure stress.

To go 2 1/2yrs with daily contact with my man who is locked up in prison in NY to none whatsoever has been stressful to say the least.

But then something happened which changed everything for me and it helped me change my perspective.

My son’s and friends stepped in and saved me from myself and now I’m refocused and back on track in less than a few hours.

You see my phone company lied to me about being able to accept calls from my husband at a really good collect call rate if I changed my contract.

I thought there was hope coming.

Then I found out they were just trying to get me signing a new contract.

I was so close but I knew in my gut they were having me on so I didn’t get too excited but I had a glimmer of hope and when it was dashed it hit me but not too hard.

I now have a way to get my phone back but not without some effort.

I was just exhausted from it.

The first thing that happened after I lay down to sleep (because I was exhausted from being on the phone all day trying to sort this out) my friends can and rallied around me and they immediately jumped in and started being strong for me.

People who immediately said “Your here for me so I’m here for you”

Two of them took me under each arm and held my pathetic self up and it made me see the bigger picture.

Now…. obviously I know it’s not the end of the world and instead of seeing the phone as a challenge I’m seeing it as a goal.

I’ll still save a lot of money compared to what I was paying and I’ll get to talk to my husband again.

He can sit his exams again and help me with my work and stuff because he helps me make career decisions as well as he’s supportive of my eldest who’s started puberty young

My boys and I made up a game.

Its really fun. We choose an overlord or God type character who has specific weapons or powers and we draw them on the A5 sheet of paper then we use our powers or weapons to take turns attacking each other to do battle with each other with pencils and erasers.

The other two decide how many damage points the one attacked takes and the power bar goes down accordingly.

They came in after I lay down because I couldn’t stomach food and started making me play.

I was the Foot of Truth. I’m the size of 10 suns and I stood in a huge poo and stomped all over them lol at one point I had a pedicure and used a pumas stone to grate away the dead skin on them.

It was funny lol the looks on their faces was priceless lol

I got defeated by being forced to step in Lego.

But they knew how to take my mind off it.

Instinctively they knew if they took my mind off it, it would soothe me.

Then my friends came from Australia and the US and there they were.

Within an hour I was feeling so much better it gave me the determination to do what has to be done in order to get the phone back.

It shows me that it’s not just what your going through that matters but who is with you when your going through it because if you have the wrong people around you it can not only draw out the depression but it can exacerbate the situation making it far worse than it ever needed to be.

My friends made me see it in a “but you get your phone back and you’ll still save so much money and when you hear his phone again imagine how good it will feel” kind of way and they are right.

That’s why it’s so important to have people who validate you and support you.

I’m lucky in that all the women in my life are Empaths now.

We’re all a bit nuts but loving and loyal.

We don’t have conversions like normal women.

Its deeper and more “for the sake of the whole not the individual” kind of collective.

Good friends matter to your mental state.

They are the ones who if I was where they are they’d crawl into my bed with a packed bowl, Chipotle, Netflix and a stupid story to make me laugh.

I very nearly have my own version of Friends. We just aren’t in the same city……..yet.

I’d be Chandler lol I love Chandler. My husband would be Monica hahaha hahaha he’s bossy lol

But I’m telling you this because I said to you the other day depression can be caused by not just events but the absorption of the energy of those around them and not know it.

If you have friends or family who make you feel worse and who support your pain, they are friends who may actually be some of the cause of your misery.

Friends aren’t supposed to support your misery they are to take you out of it.

Yes they hold you up when you are down but they’re also raising you up to see the better view from the lower vantage point you had previous to them kicking your door down to let themselves in.

Why they are friends matters just as much as who they are as friends.

Because in actuality your mental wellbeing and in turn your phyiscal wellbeing will depend on it.

It took me 43yrs but I’m now surrounded by four of the most incredible women and two of the most loyal men a person could ask for.

They have stood in battle with me while I fought those around me who tried to stop me, as well as the greater struggle which was the battle of me finding me to be the fucking delight you see before you today.

I’ve spent the last 2yrs working on myself as a guinea pig to prove my work right and that has required so much psychoanalysing and introspective contemplation, as well as taking personal responsibility and forced self improvement in my life and dealing with me hadn’t been easy because on top of that I’m emotional.

So I go deep in thought for hours and needs space. I need sounding boards to bounce theories off, so I require patience while I work things out in my head.

I can appear antisocial. I always need time alone. I always need to think and my friends are exactly the same but how quick do they jump when I need them.

Its hard to take it all in just how selfless these people are.

I’ve got fans and followers who know I can’t work technology finding 100 different ways to reach out to show support and love.

My work isn’t easy but it’s the best job in the world. I had to invent a Science to understand my gift in a way that made sense to me. I’m not educated. I can’t do maths so learning physics through music requires a ton of attention being paid to the visual and phyiscal messages I’m shown to learn it.

I then had to learn psychology in a way that made sense to what I was being shown and when I started this blog and indeed my Spiritual journey as a Pathwalker in my teens I had no idea talking to dead people would result in me denouncing my religion and belief in the Paranormal as fact.

The things I’ve had to learn the truth about has been fucking hard to deal with because I knew as soon as I made my synopsis public it would be controversial.

To say Ghost are time bends and the voices in your head and paranormal experiences are psychological created and manifested spits in the face of centuries of belief and a multi trillion dollar industry.

The damage I’m doing to people’s egos and reputations will be felt for decades and I had to think very carefully how I was going to present it in such a way that makes people see it’s all wrong in a way that makes sure the dead can never be exploited for fame or money again.

As well as dealing with my kiddies. The kids who have been dobbing on all the bad people. Having to see, know and feel their trauma and sharing that with the world, divorce, financial strain and weight loss, it’s all been one hell of a 2yrs.

But it’s all been welcomed and I’m grateful for every single experience.

Because when you have good friends, when the people in your life truly love you they are half the reason you face the challenges head on regardless and in spite of anything else you are to them or to yourself.

Because they turn your battles into tasks, your hardships into annoyances and hitting the lows into a challenge to climb out of rock bottom.

They are the stalk to your flower. They lift you beyond the dirt and hold your head into the sun not push you further into the dirt.

Please don’t tell my husband he’s Monica lol

Who you have in your life is imperative to good mental health because they quite literally and figuratively are going to be the difference between whether you survive the stress or not.

A person who feels lonely surrounded by friends doesn’t have friends if they lonely.

A friend knows.

Attraction is magnetic and not just sexual and a friend instinctively knows when something is wrong and will even more instinctively know what to say or do to make it right.

My friends know I’m not the glass is half full kind of girl.

I’m not gloomy. My glass in half empty because I enjoyed drinking the milk and if I spill my milk and start crying over it they help me mop it up.

Unless your Alyce. She’d bring 2 chocolate straws and get down on the floor with me.

We all need friends who bring chocolate straws to your spilt milk pity party who will tell you it’s not spilt milk, it’s cow boob juice.

Because without them your milk curdles and life tastes sour.

Good friends are like milk.

If they good for you they help you grow tough and strong who helps you see life as drinking chocolate cow boob juice.

If they wrong for you, life is sour, lumpy and hurts your tummy resulting in a different kind of brown milk that you really wouldn’t want to drink with a straw lol

Well…..I mean feltching could be your thing but it’s not for me lol

If your gonna Google it be warned lol

So do yourself a favour. If your going through something and your alone with friends. It is better to be alone with no friends than be alone with friends who say they are but aren’t.

Its called a friend ship.

You sail the ship on your journey together. You row together, you steer together, you weather the storm together, you repair the damaged sails together, you see the horizon together.

You set your sail together and follow the compass.

Which makes the unknown waters less frightening when your doing it with people who see the storm and help you hunker down and battern the hatches.

I have had the most enlightening 2 weeks of my life and had I not had my friend’s and boys around me…..I wouldn’t be here telling you how to look after yourself when the life’s chocolate bum milk hits the fan.

Out of shit grows roses.

In my case it’s now fertilizer that has grown a beautiful garden of roses.

I wish you could all feel how I feel.

Its an empty feeling. As in no mental stress, no heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach I used to have.

When I had stress around other friends it was made worse. It ate me like an ulcer in my soul.

I’ll be honest. I don’t trust people now because of friends like them I had.

I make my ACTUAL friends work ten times harder which isn’t fair on them but it’s never hard for them. They just don’t care when I’m in Me mode. It just doesn’t phase them.

They love me. A couple are a little corrupting of me if I’m honest.

You can tell from my personality I’m quite innocent and I wouldn’t say virginal in purity or demeanor but I’d say I’m pretty close to it and these two corrupt me in all kinds of ways.

In my clan Spiritual doesn’t mean well behaved and I’m very easily led.

Lol

In the words of Carole King and James Taylor

When you’re down and troubled And you need a helping hand And nothing, oh, nothing is going right Just close your eyes and think of me And soon I will be there To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name And, you know, wherever I am I’ll come running (oh yeah, baby) To see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall All you’ve got to do is call And I’ll be there, (yeah yeah yeah) You’ve got a friend

If the sky above you Should turn dark and full of clouds And that old north wind should begin to blow

Keep your head together And call my name out loud now Soon I’ll be knocking upon your door

You just call out my name And, you know, wherever I am I’ll come running (Oh, yes I will) To see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall All you’ve got to do is call And I’ll be there, yeah yes

Ain’t it good to know that you’ve got a friend When people can be so cold? They’ll hurt you and desert you Well, they’ll take your soul if you let them Oh, but don’t you let them

You just call out my name And, you know, wherever I am I’ll come running To see you again (Oh baby don’t you know ’bout) Winter, spring, summer or fall (Hey Now) All you’ve got to do is call Lord I’ll be there, yes I will You’ve got a friend You’ve got a friend

Song Discussions is protected by U.S. Patent 9401941. Other patents pending. Good friends are worth writing songs for.

Healthy mind, healthy body, healthy soul.

Finding the balance is so important to the maintenance of all three and good friends and family are the scales.

I’ve written many posts about my wonderful friends this year and my life is now so full of an abundance of love and psychological clarity so what does that tell you?

That’s why I love my job. I help people figure this all out too and it’s making a huge difference to how people deal with stress in their life.

Because when you’ve lived it you know the pain and if your teaching it it means you survived it and are now the lighthouse guiding many ships to shore because of it.

That’s the beauty of my life.

My shit helps other roses grow.

Yaaaay im the poo of life to many hahaha wait……what?

I love you all.

I love you for reasons I can’t even put into words. The fact I used fecal matter as an analogy to describe our relationship proves this fact really.

But I’m grateful for every single one of you.

You make me a better person despite life and the people in it trying to prove otherwise.

Your all I ever wanted but never thought was real. Your all I ever dreamt of but never thought I deserved.

Your all I ever needed but didn’t know I needed at the time. Until now….now I’m all the needed lol

So……

Question is, who’s Joey, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel? Lol I know who they are but I want to see if they know who they are and if they’ll be honest about it lol

When I move to NY…..we need to find a Cafe. Lol

And we don’t have a smelly cat but we’ve got a cat who goes poofy at soda and apples.

We call him Fatty Ten Pies. Can that be a song? Lol

This post was written in honour of my friends.

Thanks for being the ones to never make me walk the plank or for jumping in to save me when I was.

Live, Laugh, Love ie Mind, Body, Soul.

They’re the signs and indicators of whether your getting it right.

If any of these are off balance you need to weigh up and remeasure what’s on your scales.

You owe it to yourself because your the one who has to live with the consequences of your decisions if you don’t.

You choose what happens next but your friends are great at helping you change perspective.

So choose wisely and see how different stress can be around the right people.

Your mind, body and soul will thank you for it.

Xox

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The post How Having The Right Friends To Change Your Perspective Helps Change Your Mind appeared first on MusicCosmoS.

[theunintentionallyawesomeone]

no one cares but it's my blog and I get to rant on it bc it helps me feel better and explore my thoughts.

But yes I am still mad about what went down w my coworker Friday.

The more I stew the more I get annoyed (not healthy I know) bc like as far as I know I only did what I was accused of twice?

And one time I will argue was 100% ok bc another coworker literally tried to wash her hands with powdered bleach and that's dangerous???? Like I get it, they touched something gross but I will go down as being bossy or whatever about that.

Like I guess my pushing about leaving wild animals alone bc u can get zoological illness without being bitten was too much since it was not related to a currently happening event.

I think the part that makes me most angry is when I was told to stop or that coworker would go to our boss about it. I'm mad at myself for not realizing it wasn't a joke and making smart-ass comments when just saying 'ok sorry' would have ended it but also I'm annoyed bc I still don t think I was 100% in the wrong for it. Especially since everyone got mad at me for moving something heavy by myself but me saying 'be careful'and 'don't use ajax as soap' is somehow not ok...

(I'm still going to say 'be careful' a lot anyway since we're moving shit and using chemicals that make the floors slick as shit...)

Thinking back im starting to wonder if it's not so much the being annoying or over talking or be careful but whom these events tended to happen to? The youngest coworker was the receiving end of both the events from Friday and I vaguely recall them getting snippy about my be careful while moving stuff.

I know they don't like me and I get flustered by them bc imo they have a bit of a dunning-kurger effect bc they were at the same building last year. (I've worked that building too but not last year, AND I've been doing this job for a literal fucking decade. I know what im doing more often than not...)

Like idk maybe they went and complained about me to the other coworker who talked to me? Maybe they're misinterpreting some of my comments as more aggressive than I intended them to be?

Maybe they just don't like me bc I'm loud and annoying and don't go to the same church as them.

I'm still tempted to bring my good headphones to work and just try not to talk to anyone...cant "be mean" or pushy or whatever if im focused on my tunes.

... honestly they'd probably like it. ..

I'm tired of day shift. I want it over with. I want my lonely nightshift back where I can listen to a podcast and not have to be confronted with people or my terrible social skills. If someone wants to use bleach as hand soap or pick up wild bats or try to shove a bench under an open in some tables instead of just carrying it 5 feet down the hall to an open space, then fine. Not my problem. Not my circus, not my monkeys.