#(His relation the the iron town people is especially interesting

[calico-fiish]

Con planning!!

[victoriansecret]

Servants and Upward Mobility

This is focused on paid servants in England in the mid-late 18th century. One thing I find fascinating about the structure of domestic service roles was the existence of what essentially we might call a career ladder today. It was not uncommon for a servant to start their career near the bottom of the hierarchy as, say, a boot boy who cleans the shoes and boots of the household, or the scullery maid who does all the dirty kitchen work like scrubbing iron cooking vessels or plucking chickens, but progressively move up the list to better positions.

Part of why this was the case was that it was typical in England to hire servants for one year terms at a time. Often they'd be hired at festivals on the quarter days of the year, which as part of the festivities would often include what today we'd call a job fair. For some reason, Michaelmas (September 29) seems to be the most common as far as I can tell. I had never really thought about why that might be until I started planning this post, and I now wonder if it might have something to do with that being right around when harvest time usually comes in England. I could easily imagine people, especially young people, being on the cusp of another labourious harvest and thinking that maybe they could find another job instead. Related tangent: There are a number of remarks in the period that servants from the northern parts of England were considered to be much more respectful than servants from more populated, urban areas. Those communities were (at least considered to be) a lot stricter about remembering one's place and respecting your social 'betters', and their behaviour as servants was believed to reflect that. Some people would actively have their agents look to hire people from those rural areas, and apparently it was easy to attract potential employees: there are a number of remarks about how when a fancy carriage would drive through a small town, with the fancily-liveried footmen riding on the back, it would bring young people to stare in awe and want to be part of that. Which as someone whose interest in domestic service started in part because of my obsession with livery, I can understand. Anyway, back to the main point: because they often served one-year terms, there was an annual chance for both parties - the servant and the served - to review and determine how to move forward. A servant who was favoured might negotiate for a new position in the household, at least one step higher on the ladder (if not more), and they had leverage because they could leave the field entirely or possibly go off to a new household and find a higher position there. There was also a practice of asking for your master or mistress to provide a "character", essentially what we would today call a reference: a letter to show potential employers detailing their behaviour and skill in their role. Certainly there were times that some employers refused to give a good character, and sometimes that was explicitly because they wanted to keep the servant because they were a valuable asset to their household, but it was considered part of the obligation of the master class to be honest in these.

And it is not at all uncommon to find people who have served many different people/households throughout their career. The most I have seen is 28, although that's slightly misleading: that was a man who decided he wanted to travel, so hired himself to gentleman going on journeys for the duration of the trips, many of which were only a couple months. (The book he published, which he wrote about his travels and the "exotic" places and people he encountered, is interesting, and for my purposes super helpful because he turned out to be a narcissist and wrote a lot about himself, including his career as a servant. It's the only quasi-memoir of a paid servant from this time I am aware of. I might write a post about it/him sometime. I digress.) [continued in next post]

[georgiapeach30513]

I'll be honest, while Deuxmoi always and still does post a ton of BS, thanks to the development of this never-ending saga...I'm starting to really feel like she's been used intentionally to push this narrative along all the way from the very beginning. Aka 2021.

A very out there theory but hear me out: Early on, the fandom had the general consensus DM was BS. Especially in regards to CE. Because DM was the one that first started spreading his super secret GF nonsense back in 2021, right before the introduction of Soba Saga. Her almost nonsensical rants about her having legit sources on this secret GF - while doing weekly podcasts where she insisted she never got any intel on him because his circle was so tight knit (interesting how that suddenly changed out of nowhere when someone showed up) - just made her seem like crazy cat lady gossip conspiracy Marjorie Taylor Greene on steroids.

She was the first to post that "dating Soba for over a year and everyone in PT/her circle knows about it" in early 2022.

They go public in late 2022. 2023 There's some Sunday Spotted (I could be wrong) vDAY post about CE and "fiancé" being seen in town at dinner (sounds very similar to the most recent vDay sighting). That was about 10 months before the super secret wedding and there had been no announcement of being engaged, minus the Tumblr blogs and random third rate tabloids and troll twitter accounts passing on the rumors. DM starts spreading around the same time some Tumblr blogs get the intel about secret engagement, wedding, rift in the family, people on his side not liking Soba, etc. Eventually it is revealed DM was right all along???? In a complete turn of events her credibility goes from zero to 1 (grudgingly of course, while she continues to spill BS daily)

Meanwhile, DM gets the first RPatz sighting with Scarlett and crew at dinner. Nobody believed it - as Nancy mentioned, it just seemed too farfetched with the way that restaurant was set up.

Then in early 2024 we get an actual RPatz sighting with with Soba/CE, and separately, sightings with Scarlett and Colin. Now there's more "credibility" to that random other sighting even if it still can't be proven.

Now...possible project with RPatz and CE's name circulating. Maybe just gossip fodder, maybe some truth to it. Time will tell. Coincidences once again.

DM gets the sighting of CE in LA with Russos. He actually confirms that one himself a month later.

Simultaneously, DM gets random sightings of CE doing other stuff where soba is not mentioned. Nobody knows really what to believe anymore.

But for every 15 BS things she posts, she actually gets 1-2 right. It starts to completely make her a hit or miss source but enough to get people riled up and worried if/when she gets something related to CE/Soba.

In a way, this strategy, if it were to have any salt to it, is kinda interesting. It also sort of enforces the idea of possible foul play. Because if CE is truly in such a happy, private, loveful relationship, why use somebody as uncouth as DM to throw out breadcrumbs? Especially since, in the past, his fanbase and most Tumblr blogs believed it was only legit if it came from someone like People Mag (his team's go-to). Ironically, Page 6 has been getting most of the exclusive scoops this time around, in addition to weird low rate tabloids that eventually make its way to the top.

I know I sound like crazy qanon conspiracy theorist, but I guess people see what they wanna see. But for the people who believe this relationship isn't as genuine as some want to believe, it kind of tracks that somebody's PR team pushing this out in ways to sort of make you wonder, question, and push back on the validity. Just enough to make you think, maybe, maybe there's something going on BTS that they're not saying but they're kinda telling. But you'll never know what the truth is. At least not for now.

I do find DM’s role since 2023 to be very interesting indeed. You missed nothing. Not one thing. She’s made herself be credible enough during this, but also, she’s questionable. So of course, take everything she says with a grain of salt.

I made this comment a bit ago to someone else, he still uses People. Who got the Jinx articles first. Think about that for a moment. He. Just him.

As far as the last paragraph, what I will say is celebrities need to be talked about. Good or bad, they need the press. They need to be in the front of people’s minds. What better way to have them in people’s minds, and to have fans talk about something long past their expiration date than by playing a game. PR has become such a hot topic word, and I think very few people even understand it. But to me, if you’re having to play so many games, what really is real? Live your life. Isn’t that what we continue to be told they’re doing?

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

all the normal people create lore for side characters that turn up for one event and didn't even get a live2D model. anyways, Hibiki Miyake headcanons!!

firstly: this is the main silly headcanon, that he and Kohane are related, cousins probably- same demeanour, same vibes, same creatureness, similar face. bad eyesight runs in the family too

he lives with Kohane's family because he's orphaned. his mother and her father were siblings

he looks up to Kohane's dad a lot and does a bit of photography too, not as much as the rest of his family though

he's not much taller than Kohane so people always mistake him to be her little brother even though he's a year older

silly coincidence, he has the exact same birthday as Kohane, 2nd of March, just a year before

extremely ironically, he has a phobia of snakes so he avoids being in the same room as Count Pearl at all costs. once, she ended up in his room and he immediately collapsed, then upon waking up, he found that the snake had slithered on him and fainted again. Kohane was apologising for weeks

he lets Kohane drag him along to her visits at PXL, however, he often ends up running into Rui who very sneakily gets him caught up in a conversation and steals him away to watch W x S rehearse. he accidentally ditches her zskcqascngoepsexmpwqeq (shhh it's okay, Kohane can just call An who'll run across the city to accompany her in two minutes)

he's scared of the other VBS members xsidtfncerjitweorspjwpw

speaking of VBS, he wants to support his cousin, but he's too sensitive to noise and crowds to watch their events in person himself, but he still buys tickets and gives them to his friends

he's always telling Kohane about everything that goes down in Kamikou. this disappoints An because Kohane already knows all the drama before she gets a chance to tell her xjkudiguvoirentjepw

An: "Kohaneeeeee, you'll never guess what i caught Kamishiro-senpai doing today!!"

Kohane: "oh, i've heard!! he was disassembling a mean teacher's desk, wasn't he? :)"

An: "HOW DID YOU KNOW??"

Kohane: "i have connections, An-chan :)"

VBS didn't know that Kohane had a cousin at Kamikou for agessssssss

she wanted to introduce them, especially because they all go to the same school. but that was exactly why Miyake wanted to avoid that because of the anxiety and awkwardness of seeing people you know from school outside of school

VBS found out one day when they saw Rui in town and Kohane was going to go say hi (interaction idea from @slightlytoastedbagel )

Akito: "yo, Kohane, you want to stay away from that guy, he's proper odd"

Kohane: "... eh? Kamishiro-san is one of my cousin's best friends though??"

An and Akito: "WHAT."

Toya, who just knows everything: "oh yes, you're related to Miyake-senpai, right Azusawa? :)"

An and Akito: "WHAT."

he initially went to the same "elite" high school that Rui did in his first year, but left way before him, only a couple of months in, because he was getting bullied

it was said in the last chapter of Pandemonium that he wanted to be friends with Rui but took ages to reach out to him because Rui was always invested in his drones and seemed disinterested in everything else

for this reason, i feel like he regrets not finding the courage to befriend him sooner now that they're no longer in the same class

he goes shopping with Rui, Taniyama and Hayashi on weekends, they're all interested in computers and such

he and Taniyama are both a bit jel that Hayashi got to be in the same class as Rui and Tsukasa for third year

Rui just goes around visiting all his friends who are in different classes (ahem, Nene) and Miyake's always very happy upon seeing his purple friend being silly outside his classroom's window (and then his teacher shoos him away for being distracting)

he's asexual and panromantic

has severe social anxiety and is on the spectrum but undiagnosed (he went under the radar his whole life because he's "quiet") his special interest in technology was why he felt drawn to Rui. autism to autism communication

[mdhwrites]

I'm sure I'd be called crazy by the fandom for this but I actually feel bad for Belos.

After the (obvious) reveal that he was a human I didn't like him, rather I hated the idea than the character, because I much more preferred the mysterious figure he was in s1. However the Wittebane brothers conflict was an interesting concept I was curious about until it got no resolution on how things escalated to the current situations.

So I agree Belos is boring (become so to me since mid S2), but I can't hate him.

Especially when it's SO obvious that the writers want me to hate him and they're so insistent about it. It was the same thing with Odalia too, (and Boscha to some degree). And when I can see through the stupid decisions these characters are made to do, despite being nonsensical, it gives me the opposite effect and makes me pity them for the simple fact they've been done dirty. I may also do it out of spite because I hate when a show basically tells me what to do. In this case how I should feel about these characters because they are so evil~ , ok and? I get the idea, are you gonna do anything else besides this?

So the villains that I'm supposed to hate I don't hate. But (ironic) the villains that I'm not supposed to hate, I DO actually hate, which is the collector, for the same reasons you said before, he's really flawed as a character and that sad story of him being a misunderstood child didn't sell me shit, I rolled my eyes.

So this has me torn between talking about The Hand of the Author and kind of the sliding scale of villainy and its weird impact on your audience. I feel like this is mostly about Belos and why his actions never really sell you on him being a monster so let's talk about the inverted relationship between a villain's action and audience response. What am I talking about? Well... It's effectively why our response to someone killing a dog is "I'm so ready to see that fucker die," possibly even with a smile on our face while our response to someone grimacing at a person of color makes our blood boil but then the dude who kills a thousand people by destroying an entire town still needs to give us a reason to care. One is active aggression and the taking of a life while the other is a microaggression... But one that most people will actually relate to. And the last one is so beyond the realm of believability or resonance that it doesn't actually leave much of an impact. Boiled down: It's why the fandom absolutely despises Odalia and Bosch but this is the THIRD ASK where someone goes "I never got into Belos as the most evil thing there". Belos is evil to absurdity. He's killed a LOT of people for really BAD reasons so HATE HIM. Meanwhile, Boscha's just a bitch and not even that good of one and yet people HAAAATE HER. This is why it's an inverted relationship. The more a character is strictly evil, the less an audience is actually going to hate them because often times in order to do so, they become more of a caricature and their actions frankly get more absurd from a human standpoint. Meanwhile, a character who wouldn't even be tried for a crime in real life but is still doing harm is seen as much more evil because that's all too real to the human experience.

This isn't purely meta though. Part of it is that the more plainly evil a character is, the more subconsciously an audience knows they're going to get their comeuppance. This is probably part of why people hate the SU finale so much because these people have done such awful, horrendous, unforgivable things and instead of a punch out or punishment, they're talked down. I haven't seen the finale though so I can't say too much. Quick tangent: The other way around is almost as bad. I've seen Belos' death scene and I despise it because that is not Luz standing there. That is a commentary on "Happy Ever After" endings where even the villain gets to live or the main characters are just that kind hearted. TOH goes so far as to almost characterize even RAINE as being GLEEFUL in murdering this man who is already dying. There's a reason why more finales who want this will have the main character, who is good hearted enough to not want to see life lost, be pulled away by a more morally nuanced character who says it's better this way. Neither is expressing joy but they both recognize the danger needs to be dealt with so they can't save him. It keeps your good guys looking good while allowing for a final moment of moral complexity about when the kindness of the main character finally runs out. Then again, that implies Luz is an actually kind character who has endless amounts of love to give and is not just blessed by the author to make friends with anyone they want to.

Sorry. Back on track. This meta context makes it so that a pure evil villain, one who does things that are entirely unrepentant, is flagged as going to be taken down someday. There's no coming back for them. Someone with more nuance or does smaller aggressions though can still appear human which makes the actions feel less like the writer's evil thoughts made manifest and instead like a person who had the choice one day to be mean or kind... And chose mean. And that they may never choose kindness but that the chance is always there. And not only is that more compelling, it's far more painful to the audience. It's effectively what I HAVE to write a lot for Rich Witch because these characters claim to be friends but have been raised in a way that makes the inherent act of friendship almost toxic... But you can see glimpses of better. Moments like Igni and Azu talking about a book series they like. Blair and Pythia showing real care for each other. Azu opening up and taking risks with Daina even while she keeps such strict control over the rest of the friend group and even Daina. It's meant to be frustrating because that's where they're going to grow out of. And this is also why the show's attempts at humanizing Belos, at trying to pull back from him pure evil, is actually worse than him being one note. I've talked to MANY people about the fact that Rich Witch is a LONG series because these complications require time, effort and focus not only to make not all be lip service (Hi Hunter) or feel rushed (Hi Amity to some extent, because while Lumity doesn't feel rushed, your character development does). It is genuinely good sometimes to just have a one note, but fun, villain that an audience can be excited to see curb stomped. They don't need much fleshing out. They don't even need much screentime because they can set up their credentials REAL FAST. But then we get into the inherent issue with TOH: It knows one note villains are not something people praise... But it doesn't know why a show like Avatar still has Ozai. Because Ozai is not a complex villain. Any complexity comes from his children but we learn honestly very little about him throughout the series besides him being a bastard and that works GREAT. It gives us a moral opposite to Aang, who constantly tries to do right by everyone, his evil justifies Azula's evil and why we would go so far against his son and banish him and allows us to understand why the Fire Nation is as ruthless as it is... All without wasting much time! I'm pretty sure the closest we get to a real episode that is an equivalent to Hollow Mind for Ozai is pretty much during the invasion of the Black Sun when Zuko defects... AND IT'S STILL NOT EVEN MAIN PLOT OF THE EPISODE! Because what's important there is the deep villain, not the one note one. And yet TOH devoted so much time to Belos while ignoring Hunter besides backstory implications which is not how you flesh out one of your theoretically main characters at that point. Because it doesn't want to be accused of having a basic villain despite all the fun people have had with characters like the Joker.

And frankly, I feel like that comes down to not understanding either the importance of that inversion. Something going for horror or cruelty might try to humanize to cause discomfort in an audience. A reflection of our own reality but also broken is going to hurt more. But... If you're, I dunno, an adventure comedy, that sort of tone might not be useful for you. It might just be better to have someone who can facilitate really cool fights and let our heroes have a lot of Big Damn Hero Moments because those fit with the tone you're going for. It also sells us on why EVERYONE wants this fucker gone so we don't have to worry about the consequence of if the heroes murder him because you're curious why God himself has not struck him down. And not understanding this creates a problem like not understanding why simple, likable, mostly flawless main characters exist. Because sometimes that's just what's best for the story, especially if you have any sort of time limit to telling your story. But Belos only started getting spotlighted in S2B so the writers clearly didn't give a fuck about that expect, did they? So they went with what makes for a better video essay. Or blog in this case, even if it made for a worse story.

=========

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[sealofarchives]

Some au ideas for fun while I wait on requests

Note: I'm also involving some of my rottmnt ocs in all of these so I don't care about people who whine about oc x canon lol.

And hooo boy if you can read through all of this, treat your self to a cool beverage or treat because I accidentally put a lot of info ; v ;

Magical Girl Theme

A/N: During the early days when the series was in its season 1, I accidentally made cool lore for my rottmnt ocs and created some small scenarios for them in their toyhouse info. And it eventually influence some stuff for my original worldbuilding but, I still have rottmnt rotbrain because this iteration really inspired me despite its series' current status.

Timeline: A few days taking place after the Donnie's Gifts episode. April heard rumors of an abandoned metro where some girls and women travel through a sparkling subway train. And most of the footage is something close to your typical magical girl transformations and blurry fight scenes. She saves Joyce, a jellyfish mermaid themed magical girl, who is unfortunately recovering from a month by an oozesquito bite. But, accidentally interrupts the training. Luckily the mentor supervising Joyce saw April as a new friend to her. And offered the idea if April was comfortable being another magical girl in training. However, April rejected the offer. (being busy with stuff that happened in canon.) A few months pass, and the two met friends with another oozesquito victim. Laverne, a leatherback sea turtle mutant, who was intended to be Joyce's rival and a witch that passed with flying colors. Who also has a cloaking charm like Sunita.

Timeline Continued (Because it would have been one long paragraph orz): Sometime after April gets her mystic bat from that one Witch Town episode. She starts to reflect on it more and fully decides to try the magical girl gig as a part time job. Also thanks toJoyce and Laverne cheering her on. And the two who became best buddies with the rest of the turtles. Despite a certain purple turtle's distaste for all things magic related. She still visits [tbn magical girl themed metro] after defeating the Krang in the from the movie. Since she's currently busy with college and stuff.

Slightly theming her outfit based off of Mayhem. And the possible super powerful form from an outfit Karai gave to her. And I still adore the heart afro doodles from a concept art from that same WT episode so I'm gonna try to add that as well!

Sunita and Cassandra eventually tag along and girl's night shenanigans are more chaotic then ever.

The turtles are mainly supporting characters however Donnie secretly works part time at [tbn mg metro] after the events of defeating the Krang. He previously helped to make a magical tech bracelet that manages stress and other healthy coping habits for Joyce. She struggled to control her electric powers and 'this whole situation' until nearing the end of season 1. This and the events of WT episode sort of changed his approach to mystic powers. Especially with how he developed ninpo after defeating the Shredder and still has a lot learn despite Leo's safe return from trapping the Krang back into the prison dimension.

Two sentence summary: I slowly saw this iteration of April as a magical girl and with how I did that same theme for my two main rottmnt ocs so... She's gonna be one in this au because I want her to have more fun and it balances out the bad luck she usually has in canon!

2. Dredge (that one eldritch fishing game)

A/N: My renewed interest in the upcoming iron rig dlc and I saw a bit of a few others' perspective with this game and making a rise!au with it. But, I tend to be more about light hearted stuff. However, some of the eldritch theme is still there. Just in a different context.

Some minor spoilers to the game's areas and mention of the enemies there

However, its the guys being the fishermen and April working along side the traveling merchant npc.

I'm still using cloaking brooches because the turtles and Splinter are still slightly cursed to be mutants. As result of some previous Hamato clan family members following the hooded figures' teachings.

Joyce, formerly a human, who wanted to seek revenge at the stellar basin's eldritch creature. That killed her dad on a dredging trip, he was forced to go because of dumb family members' overconfidence. Strongly believing that they can kill the beast for fame and fortune.

She dies but, still full of rage before jelly bombs overwhelm her. She reincarnates as a parhelion jellyfish mutant mermaid with no recollection of her past.

Leo got a little bored being stuck with solo night fishing (mainly trawling duty) and thought it would be a good idea to go fast. Hoping to beat Donnie with at least one aberration he hasn't found yet.

He did get one but, heard a deep growls from large trawl net. That caused a few ripples passing by the boat. Met with eyes that glared back at him. On the verge of baring her fangs and full intent to drag him down to the basin abyssal depths. Should he be bold enough to attempt to cut the heavy duty trawl net. To ensure she's in safe hands and he has no intention on hurting her.

Cut to Splinter being tired of his sons, arguing over mermaid curses and other similar superstitions.

While Splinter tries to apologize, Joyce gets a brief headache with a vision from the past. That lasts for a few seconds and shows he and her dad stayed best friends after parting ways from Gale Cliffs. She slightly softens her gaze and eats the meal Mikey prepared for her before diving back into the sea.

Eventually, Joyce slowly becomes smitten by Leo's goofy yet thoughtful attitude towards her.

Donnie manages to make a necklace that acts as a telepathic translator from a few spare research parts. That's also waterproof so that she can finally speak clearly. He still taught her how to sign and write before the device was fully completed.

Raph and Leo are mostly likely to do night fishing but, at the cost of a heavy fine of the damaged turtle boat. Struggling to keep afloat that makes Donnie fake cry a lot.

Mikey accidentally befriends a wandering hooded figure (Laverne, under her hood has additional four eyes, as a result of eating aberration fish and became a leatherback sea turtle mutant)

She doesn't speak in the same manner as the other hooded figures or want specific fish. But, just in more simple questions like "Have you met other people who dressed like me?" and "What was it like exploring the areas around them? " (And gave him a book that helped with a 10% increase towards more trawling exclusive fish)

His brothers used to be wary of her until she was fully fitted to check out the pale reach region. With her own fishing wader and learning the layout of the area ahead of time to assist Mikey on the journey.

She only eats a few aberrations because she had dreams of timelines of a different version of herself in a much happy environment. She's slightly envious of that but, doesn't regret living at the present with how lively Mikey and his family are.

April is another traveling merchant who just got her license. And knew the turtle fam as childhood friends. Still acts like the oldest sister to them. She likes fishing trips around Twisted Strand And Devil's Spine. She also keeps the aberration fishing equipment and still a bit of a thrill seeker during night fishing. However, knows when to stop after seeing those crows stealing a supply of fish in her or the turtle's boat. And other high panic enemies that appear out of nowhere.

One sentence summary: Making my rottmnt ocs go through the eldritch horror and dread but, the turtle fam are very nice so its worth it to keep living for them.

3. Dave the Diver

A/N: Sort of the same deal with dredge but I already finished the crossover dlc to 100% (still haven't finished the kaiju codex) but, despite some bad boss fights. I still had a good time with it.

Some minor spoilers about the main game

The restaurant already went through repairs from an plot story earthquake

Bancho Sushi gets hits a turtle shaped aquatic vehicle when the trio attempt to park the boat in place. With the turtle tank causing significant damage after the recent repairs.

Donnie's silently fuming while Raph apologizes for the mess.

Dave doesn't get mad at them and allows the turtles to dive and help with the sushi business. Only one of them will usually tag along with him because he doesn't like the thought of putting all those kids in danger.

The turtles have one good perk but, at the cost of something bad.

- Raph: can carry more stuff but, the harpoon gun does 5% less damage (even when fully graded it still affects it)

- Leo: can easily get away from annoying aggressive enemies but, oxygen goes away even faster at around 5%

- Donnie: can make any random consumable from Cobra's shop but, takes 5% more damage

- Mikey: can get 3 ingredients from cooking posts but, only prefers using tranquilizer weapons or the steel net gun

Leo used to help Senor Hueso during closing time as extra help to clean up. So some of that experience is paying off. He's usually best at serving than cooking. His special skills are cleaning master and irresistible charm because he's the face man.

Raph feels a bit intimidated by the small space and frequently apologized to the other staff members he accidentally bumps into. And felt more comfortable getting ingredients and managing the farm and its fish counterpart along side Donnie or Mikey. His special skills are tip master and dispatch master.

Mikey doesn't really find Bancho that intimidating and very excited to work with him. He also becomes fast friends with Dave and Maki. He's slightly decent at serving along with dispatch but, excels at cooking. His special skills are cooking++ and ingredient prep expert.

Donnie prefers diving for ingredients or supplies scattered around the Blue Hole. He's very neutral towards Duff but, very much in awe at enhancing weapons to their full potential. Including keeping track of the idiver upgrades and other apps on him at all times. However, he eventually warmed up to managing the fish farm and cooking along side with Mikey. Sometimes glaring at customers who leave dirty dishes *cough* party event guests *cough*. His specials skills are ingredient prep expert and drink serving.

April accidentally applies for a staff job right after Yoshie reports in for the new staff along side Kyoko (who's the first staff member you get in game but, this ain't about her.) I'm gonna go off topic but, she's gonna be the best one in terms of serving and dispatch. (given how terrible her luck as been in the show) And she gets the same special skills as El Nino: drinking serving master and cleaning master. Because canonically she has more job experience compared to the turtles.

Joyce and Laverne are sea people bored of the village life. And grew curious about Dave and the turtles who saved Ramo's life from one of the bosses. They sneak out on a multiple of times and just chill with the three turtles who aren't exploring with Dave. Also don't do that tedious build the trust side quest shit and they already hate Suwam's cowardly attitude. Laverne and Donnie are currently testing in secret of a portal system that would help with night time diving. Joyce sometimes delivers Mima's dumplings to Tsuchi. And eventually does the same for the turtles and Dave. (mostly in the medium depths or midway into the shallows territory because she heard of the one pink dolphin who got trapped in a trawling net. And only feels safe traveling with Laverne, Dave, or any of the turtles escorting her. Luckily she brings spare shells that carry oxygen. so its not that annoying compared to most escort missions) (The portal system is great but its so tedious climbing up BH Depths then to BH Medium Depth and finally BH Shallows. idk let me have this lol)

A few sentences summary: idk Dona who happens to be a leatherback sea turtle has a funny reference to the ninja turtles from a text box choices. I'm expanding that further with my favorite iteration of the ninja turtles. So its definitely more goofy compared to the other two aus on here.

[verdanabdit]

Below the Keep Reading is an unfinished fontcest fic. I started writing it a few months ago when my only friend who had liked fontcest decided it was gross. I don't have any desire to finish it, since writing it was just making me sadder. Anyone is free to adopt it. I don't think what I did write was especially good, but when I posted little bits of it on tw☆tter, there seemed to be some interest in it, so I figured it was worth posting. Not posting to a dedicated fanfic site since it's unfinished.

Summary: Upon reaching the surface, Sans and Papyrus reveal their relationship to their friends. It doesn't go as smoothly as they'd hoped, and prompts them to move away from Ebott.

~~~

When Papyrus closes the front door behind him, Sans knows it's time for them to go yet again.

His brother's face is held carefully neutral, but there's a tension that's slowly leaving him as he leans against the door. A sigh, long and mighty as he is, is the only sound he lets out before pressing a gloved palm to his forehead.

"* rough day?" Sans asks, noting that Papyrus hadn't startled. Sans isn't sure if it's a good or bad thing that Papyrus is growing comfortable and used to showing how it all affects him. On one hand, he's glad his brother isn't hiding from him, but on the other, he's struggling not to feel defeated by the familiarity they both have with the situation now.

Papyrus almost puffs his chest out, almost lies that they can stay just a little while longer to keep the burden lighter, but deflates the moment he catches Sans's eye. "WENDY ISN'T TALKING TO ME ANYMORE, EITHER."

Last friend they had in this town. Sans had given up trying to make nice with them all when they were outed--kept up appearances best he could for Papyrus's sake, but otherwise withdrew and spent all his alone time looking for job openings a few towns over. He never let himself get attached to them in the first place after their second escape.

~~~

First had been New Home. Papyrus, still enamored with the new facet of their relationship, had a little too much faith in their few friends to accept and be happy for him. They'd always kept mostly to themselves, so it was easy to skip town and establish themselves as brand new people in Snowdin. Again, Papyrus, still full of hope and still so encouraging, let slip their familial status before Sans even had the chance to sow the lie that they were married. It was a long, cold few years of convincing Papyrus to leave the mushy stuff for behind closed doors and drawn curtains. Papyrus's need to make more friends had ensured they would have had nowhere else to escape to if they were found out again.

Then Frisk came.

They spent a good few years living in the high tensions of the surface before the laws surprisingly ironed themselves out. There may have been a small mountain of paperwork for every monster to go through to become legally recognized as citizens, but the world was otherwise theirs for the taking.

The papers sat intimidating and untouched on their kitchen table until a particular visit to Toriel's.

"* Getting our family tree sorted has been a journey in itself. If we were not King and Queen, we could have easily claimed no relation. Asgore and I were never technically divorced, so we also could have easily claimed our marriage, but… you know the details. Needless to say, it has not been easy to square away in the humans' documents."

Papyrus's sockets--metaphorically--lit up, and Sans knew they'd be up all night arguing over those same papers. Where Sans had been perfectly content with how things were, Papyru saw an opportunity.

Papyrus shielded the portion of the paper that declared any notable relationships with his hand before the pen could reach it. His fingers carefully covered all but the spousal option.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED WHEN WE MOVED TO SNOWDIN, WASN'T IT?"

Sans tried to explain to him it was different now--they had far more to lose, and even if the only outward change was on paper and they were all planning to start traveling as soon as they could, that wouldn't be a change they could hide from their friends for long.

Of course it didn't take long. Their own monarchs may only have a small circle of influence on the surface, but of course they'd be involved in all the paperwork of those who chose to set down roots within their jurisdiction.

"* I believe there may have been an error…?" Asgore had questioned gently, holding and looking down at a copy of what they had submitted.

Leaning forward to fake interest in reading along, Sans had given a subtle nudge to his brother. It was likely their only chance to back out.

"NO ERRORS HERE! DOUBLE-TRIPLE-CHECKED THEM MYSELF." Papyrus doubled down, staring unflinchingly at their King, while his hand reached out to twine with his brother's.

Silence filled the room as Asgore looked up from the desk and his eyes landed on that little sign of conviction. Sans wouldn't mention how Papyrus's hand started to tremble the more time passed. Had no right to when he couldn't hold eye contact with the King for more than a moment.

"* Ah…" He had about as many words left as anyone else in the room that moment. "* I… see."

After what felt like hours, they were slowly told that the process didn't work that way. The new documents were being cross-referenced with the old ones from the underground. Something about the bureaucratic process, cutting in line, a bunch of potential ways to abuse the system to hurt someone.

The forms were pointedly put through the shredder and new blank ones were presented to them. "* Do try not to make any… mistakes… on these ones."

With that, Asgore gave them their last out--but Papyrus, closer with their then-current friends than he'd been with anyone besides his brother, couldn't be reasoned into keeping this particular skeleton in the closet any longer.

"THEY'LL UNDERSTAND!" he insisted later that night, "UNDYNE AND ALPHYS GOT MARRIED JUST LAST MONTH; GRILLBY AND THE HUMANS' ADULT AMBASSADOR ARE ENGAGED; FOR GOODNESS SAKE, HARDLY ANY OF THE DOGI AREN'T RELATED IN SOME WAY. IT'S NOT THAT WEIRD." Then something about Undyne giving friendship-affirming lariats on a near-daily basis. Surely, surely this time would be different. Sans feels a little foolish for letting himself believe it, for believing in the home and found-family they'd built for themselves.

It wasn't as bad as New Home--or at least their closest friends weren't. Anyone outside their innermost circle dropped them just as quickly. To their credit, they all tried. Their initial reactions were all along the lines of flat, painfully, falsely neutral 'oh''s. When Papyrus gave them the same speech he'd given Sans, they at least saw the logic in it and tried to look past their own thinly-veiled knee-jerk discomfort. But a new distance had established itself and only seemed to grow, only outpaced by the tension and anxiety in both of them. The nausea he could see on their faces at times couldn't hold a candle to how their own metaphorical guts churned as they were slowly outcast.

Invitations and visits become fewer, conversations when bumping into each-other in town became shorter. Sans tried to act like nothing was wrong, like it was just an odd adjustment period they'd all get over. Papyrus put more effort in, seeing their closest friends slip away and trying to hold on as tight as he could.

Something made Sans hope at least maybe Alphys would have their backs, what with all the weird cartoons and comics she'd been into, all the weird fanfiction she left strewn about the lab computers' browser history, but it seemed even she drew the line somewhere short of their situation. "* It's not that I think one of you are.. h-hurting the other, o-or taking advantage, but… uh…" The discomfort as she wrung her hands almost made him get up and leave before she could finish. "* I don't know. I-I can't put it to words, but like… you know?" Yeah, he got it. It was gross.

"* Look, Pap, I love you like--" 'like family,' Undyne almost said, before her gaze flicked to Sans and she grimaced, "* I care about you a lot. And I know you two are happy or whatever, and I want to be happy for you, but… this is just too weird, man. I can't."

They stuck it out for a little over half a year before Sans suggested they pull their disappearing act again. It took another month of awkward 'We still care for you''s for Papyrus to agree.

And Papyrus finally agreed with him that half of their relationship would always have to be hidden. Sans left it up to him to decide which. The first time, he decided they would present themselves nearly the way Sans had first intended in Snowdin. They'd say they were engaged, and finally be able to live (mostly) openly. No more avoiding touch in public, no more worrying about the tones of their voices. It was novel and exciting to slip those gold bands on each morning, even if they had to forego the more traditional metals for silicone to accomodate their unique anatomy.

It worked well for the first year. They even spoke to their old friends online every once in a while, and the physical distance seemed to help even if it was still horribly strained. It gave Papyrus hope that they might 'see things our way' and they'd be able to return one day. Sans doubted it.

Their new-new-new life started falling apart when a human who didn't quite agree with the presence of monsters managed to get a surprise hit in on Papyrus, sending him to the hospital with an almost completely shattered ribcage. Sans, wanting to be there for him, tried to stay by his side until he was pestered by the human nurses with, "what's your relation to the patient?"

In hindsight, he should have just bailed. Go silent and walk right out the door. It would have been weird, but definitely less weird than the dumbstruck stare he ended up giving, torn between 'brother', 'fiancee' and 'spouse' as he tried to remember whether same-s☆x marriage would be recognized by medical staff where they lived, or if their familial status was on file, if it was illegal to lie about this to medical staff, or what if Papyrus needed a transfusion and they tested him for compatibility and their relation came up somewhere in the test and--

and Papyrus deliriously called out to him with what he's always called Sans since they were babybones.

And one of Papyrus's coworkers just happened to be in the ER's waiting room to hear it.

Sans doesn't like thinking about 'what-if''s or 'what-could-have-been''s, but he still wonders if the situation could have been salvaged if he'd been the one approached instead of Papyrus. Sans may not be the smoothest of liars under pressure, but Papyrus is about as smooth as an urchin.

(But he's getting better at it. That truth went down about as easily as learning that Papyrus was by far the better liar of the two of them when he's had time to think.)

There was nothing for it. It was New Home all over again, and though there may have been more than fifty kilometers worth of cities for them to disappear to, the surface was terrifyingly connected and there wasn't a single thing about them that was generic enough to blend in anywhere they went. If they didn't play their cards right, rumors would spread further than a few local grapevines.

~~~

That's all I had. I didn't have a plan in mind, since this was sort of just trying to work through being sad over my friend. So I don't know for sure where this would have gone, but it probably would have been more of what I already wrote.

Example of the next town where they introduced themselves as brothers, but were found out somehow. Eventually get back to present-time, they comfort each-other over this happening again, that it's always going to happen, dread that they're going to run out of places to go if they become too infamous. Entertain the idea of returning to Ebott if there's nowhere else to go, that maybe their friends would be okay with them by then, but decide that even if they were, it probably wouldn't reflect well on the city; the humans would twist everything to start crap over human-monster relations as if monster culture encouraged preying on their own kids.

Grieve that this is really their life now.

In the next town, they try to break up for the good of both of them, but living apart is entirely out of the question. Attempts to date others obviously hurts both of them no matter who's going out and it's nothing but a token effort, so that stops quickly. They still give longing looks, eventually cave to their affections again, then swear off it again the next morning, and it repeats over and over until "we can't keep doing this" is muffled by kisses and contradicted by clinging arms often enough that they accept they're just inevitable. It's always been the two of them, and it always will be, world be d☆mned.

[molly0611]

Film Journal #6 - The 1970’s

Mazinger Z - Go Nagai (1972-1974)

(this will focus on episode 13, as I could not find a working english translation of episode 1)

Technique

Mazinger Z is an animated tv show created in the 1970’s. There is sadly little I could find on the specifics of how “Mazinger Z” was created, but given the information we have we can assume it was animated by hand. The art style most commonly related with anime is also present here. I am unsure exactly when it started - especially given the existence of manga - but given that post wwii Japanese animation was much closer to emulating the styles of American animation, it can be assumed that by this point the styles were already set in place. “Mazinger Z” also began life as a manga, originally running from 1972-1974 as well, with the tv show beginning just 2 months after the manga’s release. The dub of the original show I was able to access is interesting to say the very, very least. The dub, directly commissioned from Toei (the studio behind the tv show) was very clearly created by a team with little experience, likely due to either the single studio not having much reference, or the general idea of animations being newer to the idea of translating shows like this. I am unsure on the specifics of this and would love to look into it more but, unfortunately there is not the time to do so here so I will leave it at the overall facts that television series as well as the mecha genre in general were very new, and so those may have been contributing factors.

Representation

As with any good tv show or Shakespearean play, Mazinger Z episode 13 features both a main and sub plot. Within the main plot, Baron Ashura (a half-man, half-woman in the very literal sense that they have a face split in half by traditionally masculine and feminine traits, and have two separate voice actors in the same regards) activates a mechanical beast with the ability to shoot flames hot enough to melt rocks, camouflage itself as a snowball, and throw swords (an ability we do not see until much later). The ball then rampages through the town until it is spotted by some morally ambiguous side characters as well as Sakaya Yumi, the pilot of the robot “Aphrodite A” - another mech similar to Mazinger Z but with more feminine features. During this discovery, the main character Koji Kabuto finds himself trapped inside his house by a large group of Baron Ashura’s “Iron masked men” (as they are referred to by Koji). He dispatches them quickly and flies his “Pilder” (a small, helicopter-like vehicle) into the operating seat of his robot, Mazinger Z. from there he begins helping Sakaya in her fight with the evil robot, as she has already used both of her (for lack of any sort of better terminology I could possibly use in a blog post I am being graded on for school) boob rockets. Once Mazinger Z enters the fight, Aphrodite A functionally disappears and the day is saved after a quick physical exchange. The side plot is nothing much past a snow sculpture contest where an exact simulacrum of the judge in snow is awarded first place.

Reception

Mazinger Z was wildly influential at the time and its effects continue even to this day. Much to the dismay of its creator, who would have much preferred his work on “Devilman” to get more recognition than what was effectively a long running joke. If Mazinger Z did not create the mecha genre, it did at the very least make changes to it (namely the concept of a person being inside the robot instead of controlling it from the outside, among others).  Although it is very fair to say that works such as “Astroboy” and “Tetusjin 28-go” are for all intents and purposes more important than Mazinger Z, especially given the former two also inspired the latter, on the account that the entire genre focusing around people in giant robots fighting each other is visibly connected to this show definitely gives it notoriety. In addition to its influence, Mazinger Z is also interesting to talk about in regards to gender. Directly from the start of the show, the second character we are ever introduced to (and the first who is ever given a name) is Baron Ashura, the conjoined body of two mummified, forbidden lovers who was resurrected by Dr. Hell, the main antagonist of the series. Ashura, from what I can tell over a very short view of around one and a half episodes, is generally treated fairly well by the show. While they certainly fall into the trope of having evil characters be generally non-conforming in some way, they seem to be treated more or less the same as everyone else. Sakaya Yumi however, is a much different read. There is enough information to suggest that her inclusion as a pilot of a mech was more or less a step forwards however, save that point there is not much in favour of her as a character. Her opening scene includes a joke is made about her body, and while again she is given command over a mech, it is still heavily weighted down by both its naming convention being of the Greek Goddess of love, and the fact that seemingly it's only weapons are large missiles that make up the boob part of the mech’s feminine design. This it should be noted is not in any way meant to insinuate that the inclusion of Aphrodite A is in itself the problem, but instead that in addition to only impounding the way which the character of Sakaya Yumi is portrayed, it is also an otherwise very non-sexual show which only makes it more clear the intent and biases behind her character.

Sources

I was not able to read all of this one for this given time restraints but it looks interesting and is related enough that I’m adding in here

[kyberled]

 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐓: Braig Claermoore Braig of the Order

𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒 ――

FULL NAME.  Braig Cassir Claermoore (until 20 BBY) || Braig of the Jedi Order (from 20 BBY on)

NICKNAMES.  Braigory, Braiglet, [Sir] Braigimus (@iamnojedi), Scarface, Bra’ika (Liz’s Cody, Xidori’s Wolffe (rarely)), Little one, Kid, Sir, Padawan, General, Commander, Cyar’ika (Suit’s Boba), Braiggo, Braigos, Braggart, Little Jedi, Master Padawan / Master Braiggo (@strcngered F’lurr), Popsicle (Gathering Group), Kenobi’s Brat (a few people, I genuinely forget the specifics), Dad (Tet)... 

ALIAS(ES). He’s used various over the years - Brean was a particularly ironic one - but he tends to avoid using the same one too many times. (And yes, he’s also gone by ‘Ben’ before, too.) 

SEX.  Male

HEIGHT.  5′9″

AGE.   Varies, born 4 Selona, 36 BBY

ZODIAC. Pisces 

SPOKEN  LANGUAGES.  Oh boy. Galactic Basic (spoken and sign), High Galactic, Cathar, Rodeese, Ryll, Jawaese, Huttese, Gungan Basic, Pantoran, Togrutan, Tusken, spoken and sign (starts learning in his early Teenage years), Gale’ha, spoken and sign (starts learning in his later teenage years), Ancient Chaulis (starts learning in his mid-teens), and then understands but doesn’t speak Ithorian, Binary/Droidspeak, and Shiirywook. Depending on the timeline, also knows a small handful of Mando’a words, since he seems to attract Mandalorians. 

𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 ――

HAIR COLOR.  Black

EYE COLOR.   Brown

SKIN TONE.   Olive

BODY TYPE.   Lean and athletic - made for speed and agility, but no schmuck when it comes to generating power, either. I lucked out in that his faceclaim (Booboo Stewart) also has the right body type, too. 

VOICE. Again, I think he sounds pretty similar to Booboo - just with a Coruscanti (sort-of-English ish???) accent. 

DOMINANT HAND. Left-handed

POSTURE. Generally proper and upright, but he has been known to let his shoulders relax on the odd occasion. Especially as he gets older and has to go into hiding, he tries to tailor it to the area around him. But on his own, yes, very much proper. 

SCARS. He has a bunch. The most prominent/noteworthy are the scar on his hace (plus a small, faded scar up by his temple, which fades; the main scar doesn’t); some faint conditioning scars on his knuckles; a scar on his right shoulder from a transport crash; a scar on his left shoulder from a fight against Tak; Two similar scars on both forearms from a fire/explosion; A scar on his right elbow from the fight with Tak; A scar on his left hip from the same transport crash; A scar on his left outer thigh from a battle he’s forgotten; and a scar on his right thigh from when part of a ship he was on got bombed. Depending on verse, he also has a gnarly scar from getting Force-lightninged by the Emperor, but hey - he lived. 

TATTOOS.  None in any ‘canon timeline’. 

PIERCINGS. None in any ‘canon timeline’. 

BIRTHMARKS. A small, dark spot on the back of his left ear. He has no idea it’s there. 

MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURES. Probably the scar, the hair, and the sabers, though I’m told he has a nice smile, too. 

𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃 ――

PLACE OF BIRTH.  Quadrant A-89, Senatorial District, Galactic City, Coruscant

HOMETOWN. The Jedi Temple, Galactic City, Coruscant. It’s a town in and of itself. 

SIBLINGS. He has a bunch of Jedi he considers his siblings - including the Gathering group (Hano, Naweh, Lohata, Booda, and the Twins) - but if you’re speaking strictly biologically, there’s his older half-brother, Karvan Nel (they don’t know they’re related), and his younger “half-brother”, Brean Claermoore (they only know they’re related later in life, and neither of them know exactly how). 

PARENTS. Admiral Eadric Aldin Claermoore (Father), and Doctor Shiv Keira Whelan (Mother). He’s never met either of them since coming to the Temple, he has no idea who they are, and he has no interest in learning. He’s much happier just considering the Jedi as his family, and thinking of Obi-Wan as his dad. 

A𝐃𝐔𝐋𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 ――

OCCUPATION.  Depends - Jedi and GAR officer, or mercenary/bounty hunter/travelling medic (usually as a cover for Rebellion matters, but sometimes just for money)

CURRENT RESIDENCE(S). Verse Dependent - either the Jedi Temple, or, after the fall, he travels - it could be his ship, a friend’s ship, any number of safehouses, Tatooine, a specific bar in Hutt space, wherever he thinks he can get some rest without getting shot. If there are people he enjoys there, so much the better.

CLOSE FRIENDS. Oh, man, there are a lot of them. He has a bunch of people that he absolutely adores. The ones that he considers closest are probably the Gathering Group (that I described earlier), the Twelvers (Kriss, Boone, Lowswipe, Lonnie, Tanzer, Cooper, and Prez), Ta’ule, Ta’heka, and Amua on Ga’le;  but there’s also Cortnye’s Ahsoka, Sam’s A’Sharad and Shaak (and F’lurr, of course!), Liz’s Cody, Durga, Mace, and Tet, Suit’s Boba, Kay, Hora, and the Claw, too; Ferret’s Meg and Aeleus; Ash’s Echo and Hiro; Caboose’s Omega; Alex’s babygirl Livvy; Keats’ Maul (uncle!); Ama’s Cirz (baby brother!), his nephew Eron (I was gonna put quotes around ‘nephew’, but, let’s be real here), Queen Sym, Red’s Satine, Sage’s Nike, Mars’ Shaak, AJ’s Kanan/Caleb, Miles’ Kairi, Michael’s Bultar, Micki’s Dani, Sky’s Ezra, and honestly the list just keeps going on. This isn’t even touching on casual acquaintances or people he feels he’s still getting to know, either. He’s very, very much a people person. Kinda brings the party wherever he goes, you know? 

FINANCIAL STATUS.  Jedi don’t really ‘do’ money in the usual sense, so when the Order is up, he’s provided for - after that, it varies day by day. 

DRIVER’S LICENSE. Or whatever the in-universe equivalent is, yeah. Also has his pilot’s licence, even if he dislikes flying.

CRIMINAL RECORD. I mean, high treason, resisting arrest, instigating riots, identity theft… Once the Empire goes live, they’ll pin anything on the Jedi survivors, so, yeah. 

VICES. He can be stubborn, he’s self-sacrificing to a fault, and he can be a bit naive when it comes to trying to see the best in people. Also a neat freak and a creature of habit. 

𝐒𝐄𝐗 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 ――

SEXUAL ORIENTATION. Pan, grey/demi-ace leaning. 

LIBIDO. Eh. Not really much for him until he’s well into a relationship with someone, so, it’s there, but. Not huge for him. 

TURN-OFFS. Cowardice. <- This, along with selfishness and arrogance. (Also worth noting: Arrogance and confidence are not the same.) 

LOVE LANGUAGE. Quality time. <- This, and acts of service. He likes taking care of his partner and being taken care of, and he likes just existing in the same space as them. He’s pretty easy to please. 

RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. I’ll be 100%, I genuinely don’t know how to answer this in a way that wasn’t already covered. He’s loyal to a fault, does that count? He’ll be honest with his partner and expects them to be honest with him - but that comes with him trusting his partner, and expecting that trust in return. He will probably want to cuddle. I dunno, help me out here. 

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐒 ――

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG. Oh, I have a playlist for him. It’s always hard for me to just pin down one - so here, enjoy these: 

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLB6ZtG_KginmCATXeLpgPpjBPo5i2d0tG 

HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. Oh boy. He trains, of course, he meditates, he reads, he spends time with his friends, he journals, he sketches, he fixes or modifies his sabers, he collects and presses flowers, some of the men have taught him how to play cards, he studies, he goes on walks or runs, he cleans his room, mends his clothing… When the war isn’t eating up every aspect of his life (as it often is), he’s a busy guy. 

MENTAL ILLNESSES. He has pretty serious PTSD and Survivor’s Guilt after the war. … Wars. Plural. He does what he can to manage it and work though it, but it’s something he has to live with. 

SELF-CONFIDENCE LEVEL. He considers it average. He knows who he is and what he can do, but - especially as he gets older - he also knows his place in the world. He knows how to handle himself, he knows his limits, and he’s fine with it. 

Tagged by: @beskar-himbo

Tagging: HEY YOU WITH THE FACE (I think most people have gotten this now, but if you want it, go for it!)

[vidreview]

VIDEO ESSAY ROUNDUP #2 [PART 2]

[originally posted november 14 2023. NOTE: while migrating the archive from cohost i've discovered that tumblr has a 10 link-block limit, which means i have to split some of these roundups up in order to maintain the embeds. we love websites don't we folks]

THE "DOESN'T NEED THE HELP" ZONE

my preference with these posts is to highlight creators making stuff that might not get much exposure otherwise. but it must be said that sometimes algorithmically successful video creators are creatively successful too. who'dathunkit?

"Are Film Critics a Dying Breed?" by Broey Deschanel.

an excellent dissection of the miserable state of media criticism today, starting at the surprise resignation of A.O. Scott from the New York Times. touches on the important role critics can play in resurrecting films that failed on release, and how we've arrived at a moment when so much criticism is (ironically) uncritical stenography for creatively bankrupt corporations. i think we're going to be seeing a lot of videos on this subject in the years to come, especially as more and more traditional avenues of media crit shut down and our society continues its profit-driven plunge into seeing art as merely a container for passive good feelings to be experienced in the moment and then forgotten forever. does a good job explaining why the firebrand critics of the 70s, like Pauline Kael, were so important, without letting them off the hook for their often elitist attitudes.

"Parking Laws Are Strangling America" by Climate Town.

an essential and refreshing dive into the outsized impacts that zoning laws (specifically parking requirements on new construction) have had on the very shape and soul of American public spaces. we like to talk about car culture and "freedom of the road" propaganda when grousing about the miserable state of public transit, but this here does a delicious materialism and cuts right to the heart of the matter. i love how he consistently refers to parking as "publicly subsidized storage for an individual's private property." little rhetorical interventions like these can do a lot to naturalize a more radical perspective on urbanist reforms. related to this is his video on Chicago's disastrous choice to sell its parking meters to Morgan-Stanley in 2009. i don't love the jokey Daily Show-esque affect Rollie brings to his stuff all the time, but the clarity of information more than makes up for the occasional dud joke. also: really solid camera work? huge props to his gimbal operator.

"Notation Must Die: The Battle For How We Read Music" by Tantacrul.

an exhaustive look at the history of musical notation and the many, many attempts people have made at replacing western notation with something more intuitive. if you've ever had a professor just go off about a huge pet peeve of theirs, you'll probably enjoy this one.

"YouTube is spreading a filmmaking disease" by Standard Story Company.

some context: about a month ago i finally bought a new camera and lighting equipment for the first time in ten years. this was preceded by months of researching my options, watching lengthy technical review videos, trying to find a sweet spot between cost and utility. i've watched a million videos like these over the years, and yet i'd never really thought about them as a genre with specific socioeconomic impacts on a population… until now. this is a technical review video that has become self-aware, one which simultaneously reviews tech and the act of reviewing tech in equal measure. it's a fun, interesting experiment that got me thinking in new ways about something i'd very much taken for granted. there remains an uneasy alliance between art and advertising here that i'm not quite sure what to do with, but the work itself is admirable and well worth your time.

----

and that's it for this roundup! good luck to those with get-togethers planned for thanksgiving-- make sure to get vaccinated, wear a mask in public spaces, and don't let anyone guilt you for staying home if you're worried for your or someone else's immunological safety.

<- ROUNDUP #1 | ROUNDUP #3 ->

[sufandomgirl]

Prompt 19 Story Part 2

Roger and Stacy faced the house. So many years that she'd been tormented by her relatives every single Thanksgiving. Shaming and gaslighting her into accepting their relationships. They didn't come alone. They'd informed Roger's brother, Timothy of her family's...less than legal relations. Her parents had had contact that Stacy had records of--with her ex best friend and crush while they were still in high school. Timothy was employed in the sheriff's office of the county where Roger and Stacy lived. Since Stacy had moved a couple of counties away, they needed to inform her family's home county's sheriff department and send over evidence. Stacy's brother had also been with her ex when they were in high school and he was in college. All of which she had proof and filled out EXTENSIVE witness reports of. As well as their verbal, emotional and psychological abuse towards her over the years. Needless to say, her original county's sheriff's office was very interested in attending this Thanksgiving dinner, as well as Timothy for both legal and emotional support. Stacy had already met and made the best possible impression on Roger's close family. His mother even started harassing him to propose to Stacy, considering her another close daughter. Stacy viewed her as the mother she never had. Roger's mother, Doris, had four sons and three daughters of her own with Roger's father, Manson. In order of birth it was Benjamin, Timothy, Luna, Roger, Martia, Collin and Shirleen. Stacy found it ironic and kind of startling that Roger was Nightshadow given Timothy's occupation and also Luna's, because she was a lawyer. All these thoughts distracted her. Then, she came back to their current situation with Roger squeezing her hand. Timothy walked up to them.

"We're all clear if you two are ready." Timothy says the pair.

Roger nodded and held Stacy. She nodded to him. They entered the house. The police also suspected her family of several disappearances due to Stacy mentioning one of her family's threats. About someone who'd disappeared from another town in the county several years prior. All the cops and cars were hidden in the brush around her family's property. Except for Timothy who entered with them. The three sit down for dinner.

"So, Stacy, who's the handsome beau?" Her ex-best friend wiggled her eyebrows at Roger.

Stacy clenched her fists, ready to throw hands with her now stepmother. Made her want to projectile vomit all over her. She gestured to Roger. "Roger is MY boyfriend of four years, Carly. You already stole my dad, so lay off. Tim's married, he just agreed to come and meet you all with his brother." Stacy points to Timothy as she says it.

"Wife's out of town for an interview. Kids wanted to spend time with their grandparents." Tim explained. He did NOT like the hungry looks that Carly and Stacy's dad--she'd shown him pictures of all her family members--were giving him. He couldn't imagine what it must've been like for Stacy against them alone for so long. If his wife were here, she'd have put them both down just for that. She was definitely the strength in their relationship, even though he was a cop.

"So, how'd you two meet?" Stacy's mother asked the first normal-sounding question.

"Random encounter in the city." Stacy answered, curtly.

The dinner was eerily silent for some time. Stacy's dad excused himself to light a smoke and didn't return. Carly became worried. "Stacy, what if he doesn't come back?"

"He's an adult, I'm not his keeper. Not responsible for bringing him back." Stacy stated in a monotone voice.

Carly scoffed. "Well, you could at least TRY."

Stacy lost it. "Try? I tried for years to get over everyone's betrayal and continue on like normal. You made me your servant, and no more! None of you get to tell me what to do anymore, especially not the people who dated high school teens. Carly, you're not my stepmother. I'll never respect you or my 'mother' what you two did. I definitely will never respect my 'father' again. My older brother, either. I have plenty of gay friends whom I support, but they won't ever be one. So shut the fuck up and stop trying to control me, all of you!"

"How dare you speak to us like that--!" Stacy's mother raised a hand, but Stacy had practiced adult martial arts before gaining her powers and caught her by the wrist.

Stacy looked at her with cold eyes. "I'm not that sixteen-year-old who's afraid of being herself anymore."

Just then, the police burst in and arrested Stacy's mom, Carly, her brother and ex-crush. Roger held Stacy in an embrace. It was over.

Following an extensive search of the property and all the evidence gathered from both there and from Stacy, her ex-family were brought up on and convicted of several charges including physical, mental, verbal, emotional and financial abuse. First-degree murder was added on when they found tapes of her father and mother admitting to kidnapping and murdering the person that had gone missing since she'd refused their offer of becoming a spouse as well. It made Roger and Stacy's skin crawl. Carly, Stacy's crush and brother knew about this too and were tried as accomplices. Needless to say, the house and property got enough time to be sold after everything was dug up and found. With this, Roger and Stacy bought another property all their own and moved in together. After some renovating, they could see themselves building a family together.

Roger fidgeting nervously, got down on one knee, and after Stacy turned around, she gasped when she saw the open ring box. The band in the center was simply elegant with a small stone in the middle and smaller stones around it. "Stacy, will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Stacy cried. The band fit perfectly on her finger and was just her style. Roger stood, and they kissed again. Roger's--their family all clapped and cheered. Stacy would marry in soon. Looking into his eyes, Stacy realized that she did want to spend the rest of her life with him, supervillain or not. Besides, Dawnshiner had replaced her, and she was thinking of a name more suited to a villainess, anyway.

[rocorambles]

Hit It Till It Breaks

Pairing: Oikawa x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Yandere, Mafia AU, NSFW, Drug Dealing, Dub-Con/Non-Con Sex, Dub-Con/Non-Con Drug Consumption, Drug Addiction, Manipulation, Humiliation, Degradation, Prostitution, Slight Pet Play

Prompt: Hard At Work

Summary: Growing up, you’d always loved fairy tales and happy endings. You’d always believed that despite how bad things might seem or get, there would be a light at the end of the tunnel. But you’re quickly realizing that this isn’t a fairy tale, that there is no happy ending, and that sometimes, you only go downhill, farther and farther from the light. 

Author’s Note: This is my contribution for my HQ Discord Server’s NSFW collaboration. There are so many talented writers on the server and I highly encourage you to check out the collaboration masterlist to see how everyone decided to run with this spicy prompt.  

(Thank you as always @sawamooora for helping me keep this a coherent degenerate mess~)

It’s hard to believe that bright eyed girl holding her college diploma in the photo on your nightstand was you not that long ago. And your heart clenches when you remember how hopeful you had been. So excited to venture out and experience life. Ready to enter the job market. Ready to be an adult. 

Doors opened and closed. But you hadn’t let it deter you at first. It just wasn’t meant to be. You can’t expect to get the first job you interview for! 

But then more and more doors opened, only to be shut in your face.Your rose-tinted glasses began to crack as your funds quickly dwindled, as you lowered your standards, desperately mass applying to any small time company vaguely related to your major, only to be turned away at every step. 

And now, here you are, barely able to make rent, barely able to even feed yourself with the little you have from odd part-time jobs you’ve managed to stitch together into some sort of financial life line. 

Well, you HAD been barely able to make rent, but your hands tremble when you stare at the letter notifying you that your rent will begin to increase starting next month, mind speeding into a panicked haze as you unsuccessfully try to think of what to do, how you can possibly afford to live even in this dump anymore. And before you even realize what you’re doing, you’re scrambling, stumbling to your bathroom, throwing open your medicine cabinet as you rummage for the little pills that you know will help slow down your racing thoughts and provide much needed clarity. 

You swear everything seems clearer as soon as the smooth texture hits your tongue and you can finally breathe, slumping down on the cold tiles of your floor, pill bottle still clutched in your hand as you allow yourself to relax, praying for any ideas to flow through you. And it hits you like a ton of bricks when your grip on the plastic container accidentally loosens and the bottle clangs against the floor. 

A humorless chuckle slips past your lips as you stare at the rolling cylinder. 

Drug dealing. Fucking drug dealing. 

You can’t believe you’re even thinking of going down this route, but your mind flashes back to old roommates, old friends, old classmates who had nonchalantly made a pretty bundle on the side, carelessly tossing around and selling all types of prescription drugs on campus. And you vividly remember how simple they had made it seem, how they had all gotten away with it. Scrumptious meals, pricey alcohol, far beyond a college palette, and beautiful clothing were the only “consequences” for their crimes. 

If they could do it, you could too. Or so you’d like to think. 

But as naive and ignorant as you are about this line of work, even you know there’s a difference between selling to silly college students on campus, and selling it at a popular nightclub owned by an infamous crime syndicate. 

Even as far removed as you are from the more seedy underbelly of the new city you live in, you know of the Seijoh Syndicate. Everyone in town does. It’s hard not to when they literally run and own the entire place. 

Oikawa Tooru and the rest of the Seijoh Four run their domain with an iron fist. They’re practically nonexistent, merely a scary story to keep people in line, for those who abide by the laws and keep their noses out of trouble, but an all too real nightmare for those who choose to defy them. And you shudder, remembering the horror stories you had heard of exactly what happens to those who decide to try and start their own nefarious business and practices on Seijoh streets without Oikawa’s permission. 

But surely they wouldn’t pay you any mind? Right? Surely a mere girl in her early twenties selling the leftover prescription medicine she has in her cabinets for one night won’t do any harm? 

Maybe it’s stupid to go to such a prevalent and well known club, especially one that’s notoriously favored by the Seijoh Four. But you convince yourself that it’s the most crowded venue in the area with a target demographic who’s guaranteed to buy you out, even at the obscene prices you plan on charging. How would anyone even notice you? Where else could you go? What options do you even have? 

So despite the nervous pit swelling in your stomach, you soldier on, plastering a cheery smile at the bouncer who easily waves you in without a second glance, slipping into the sweaty mass of bodies, going deeper and deeper until you’re surrounded - skin, bones, and muscles pressing against you on all sides, safe from any prying eyes. 

Or so you believe. 

You know who the Seijoh Four are. You even know their names. But never have you met them, never have you ever seen a picture of what they each look like. Not that it would help you if you did when you’re so laser focused on finding potential customers, not even bothering to look around to see if anyone’s watching you. So you carry on, unaware of the four sets of eyes looking at you in amusement from their roost high above the writhing crowds. 

There’s nothing subtle about the way you sloppily nudge people, practically shoving your pills in stranger’s faces, almost wildly waving your merchandise around you in a desperate attempt to pull in buyers. Sweaty nervous hands fumble as you exchange little plastic baggies for wads of cash and Matsukawa raises a brow in disbelief while Hanamaki cackles when you drop your merch and payment, getting on all fours on the trashed dance floor to recollect your goods. 

It might be the most amusing show they’ve had in a while, but Iwaizumi feels a pang of pity at the wild hopeless look in your eyes and he swiftly stands, brusquely telling the other three that he’s going to go down and tell you off with just a warning, only to be stopped when Oikawa smoothly stands to his feet, effectively blocking Iwaizumi’s path. 

“Now, now Iwa-chan. Don’t be so hasty. Let me go talk to the cutie. I’ve been so bored recently and she looks like she’ll be fun! Plus you’ll make her cry with that scary face of yours.” 

Suddenly the sight of you bumbling around isn’t quite as entertaining as the remaining three men watch the brunette prowl towards you, heavy realization of what’s to come sombering the mood.  

 You’re frantic, flitting about the throngs of flailing limbs and swaying bodies, frustration from not being able to get through your supplies fast enough weighing at your conscious. Sure, you’ve managed to accrue some cash, but it’s not enough, not nearly enough to even feed yourself for the coming week let alone make a dent in the daunting rent that looms over you. And you can feel hot tears prick at the corner of your eyes when you see that it’s almost closing time and you’re still stuck with more than half your inventory, no closer to figuring out how to survive. So when a hand firmly rests on your shoulder, you whip around, ready to take your anger out on the poor soul who’s managed to catch you at the worst time. But you freeze, vicious words stuck in your mouth when you see the handsome man beaming down at you, a thick wad of rolled up bills haphazardly dangling from his fingers. 

“I heard you might have some stuff I’d be interested in.” 

You wonder if this is all a dream, if the man in front of you is (ironically a devilishly) handsome angel swooping into save you when he casually asks you how much stuff you still have, how much you’d be willing to sell everything for, not even blinking an eye at your outrageous price tag. You’re so stunned by how quick he is to call it a done deal, not resisting even a bit as he wraps his hand around your wrist, pulling you after him, saying some vague comments about wanting to go somewhere a little more private since it’s a bigger trade. All you can think about is how you’ll finally be able to eat something other than instant noodles and not have to worry about rent as you throw yourself back into interviewing, too lost in thoughts to be wary of how you’re being dragged farther and farther away from the rowdy crowd. 

But the sound of a door slamming shut behind you jolts you back to reality and Oikawa fights back a laugh at how adorable you are, eyes blown wide like a deer in headlights as your head swivels side to side, dismay and panic making you tremble when you survey the private room you’re in, throat nervously gulping when you notice the three other occupants. 

You’re so predictable and Oikawa just rolls his eyes fondly at how you swiftly turn around, trying to lunge towards the door in an attempt to escape, taking his time to leisurely make his way towards you, brown orbs taking in every inch of you as Matsukawa and Hanamaki hold your writhing body in place. 

It’s so satisfying watching you crumble to pieces before his very eyes at just the mention of his name, despair and fear swirling beautifully on your face when he continues to introduce the rest of the Seijoh Four. It never gets old, that deliciously addicting feeling of power he feels when people tremble from just a few syllables and he relishes in your pleading apologies and your tears, patiently waiting for you to finish your little sob story, barely listening to the details as he focuses in on how gorgeous you are, broken and vulnerable. 

And really, there’s no need for him to pay close attention to your blabbering anyway. It always comes down to one thing…

 “So you need money, cutie? How about working for me?”

 “Oye! Oikawa-”

“I’m just asking her some questions, Iwa-chan.”

There’s tense silence and your eyes nervously flicker back and forth between the two imposing figures staring each other down, green and brown eyes clashing in a silent argument. But as if they’ve somehow come to a conclusion, Iwaizumi tsks and looks away while Oikawa turns his attention back to you, a sickeningly cheerful grin on his face. 

Blood curling fear lances through you and you’re almost grateful for the two pairs of strong arms holding you tight, their grip keeping you from falling to your knees as your legs threaten to give out under the pressure you feel as Oikawa thoughtfully looks at you. 

You know the smart answer would be to adamantly say no and promptly figure out a way to leave this moment far behind you, even if it means forfeiting any money you had made tonight. But...a job is a job, right? And surely a job in the Seijoh Syndicate would be more lucrative than anything you’re doing now, right? 

Oikawa hides a smile at the way he can see the cogs in your head turn, apprehension turning to curiosity as you stutter out questions about pay and what the job would entail. Desperation is a good look on anyone, but it suits you particularly well and just like that, hook, line, and sinker, he has a new cute live-in maid to replace the recently vacated role.  

Working as Oikawa’s maid is more...normal than you would have expected. Not that you’re complaining and other than the embarrassing maid outfit he makes you wear, complete with frilly bow and garters, the chores are mundane. Bring breakfast to him and wake him. Clean his room and do his laundry when he’s away at meetings or jobs. Make sure guests have refreshments when they come over to his large estate, a mansion you now also call home. 

If you’re honest, it’s much more relaxing than the multiple part-time jobs you had been juggling previously, and with free board, free food, and the substantial paycheck that regularly makes its way to your bank account, you can see your future brightening up again. When your duties are done for the day, you resume practicing for interviews and keeping up with the industry, feeling emboldened and empowered to finally resume working towards the career path you had always dreamed of. 

But the more time you spend with Oikawa, the closer and more entangled in your life the brunette becomes. Alarm bells ring wildly in your head as you’re forced to join him for meals, forced to dress in elaborate gowns and jewelry while you’re waltzed around on his arm, forced to travel around the world with him, and attend to him like a glorified assistant. He’s too charming, too familiar, too bold, and you can’t help but feel like you’re racing towards some inevitable crash as he easily brushes aside any boundaries between the two of you. 

You know so many women would kill to be in your shoes and you can understand why, not completely immune to his playful smile and the lilt of his voice yourself. But you know better, know exactly how dangerous it would be to get involved with a man like Oikawa Tooru. 

It’s clear from the crimson stains on the clothes he leaves for you to either dispose of, or have cleaned. It’s clear from the wails and sobs of woman after woman he uses and tosses aside like garbage on an almost daily basis. It’s clear from the guns, knives, and weapons, most of which you don’t even know the name of, filling up all the walls, drawers, and cabinets.  

So you do your best to keep your distance, building titanium walls around your heart. Always polite, too terrified of what would happen if you pissed him off, but cold enough to deter him from more amorously or intimately testing his boundaries. 

And it seems to work as he turns his eyes towards other women, leaving you alone after throwing a few flirty comments and winks your way and ultimately falling in bed with some other poor damsel. But you nervously gulp when it’s just the two of you one night and just as you’re ready to make yourself scarce after turning down his bed and laying out his pajamas, his voice beckons you over and you anxiously bite your lower lip at the sight of pills of all shapes and sizes splayed out across his desk.    

Other than your prescription medicine, you don’t have a lot of experience with drugs other than the few blunts here and there during your college years and you had always strictly kept to your recommended doses, never even entertaining the idea of taking more. So the sight in front of you is overwhelming and you hesitantly stare anywhere but at the table surface, anxiously waiting for Oikawa to explain why he called you over. But what you’re not expecting is the warm hand gently grasping your wrist and holding your arm out, small objects being carefully placed in your outstretched palm, and soft coaxing from Oikawa to “give them a try”. 

Every part of you is screaming to throw the pills and make a run for it, begging you to come up with some excuse or just outright reject his offer. But it’s as if your body is frozen and he firmly pushes your hand to your mouth, grip tightening enough to make you wince when you hesitate to listen. The slight pain is enough to remind you that you’re not exactly in any position to negotiate and you force yourself to down the pills and gulp down the glass of water he holds to your lips. 

The last thing you remember is the unsettling feeling of beginning a descent to an unknown place from which there is no return as Oikawa pulls you to his bed. And then euphoria floods through you as your body slots against his larger frame. 

It feels good. Too good. Unnaturally good. But it’s intoxicating and you can’t help but let yourself drown in the hazy waves crashing down upon you, feeling lighter, freer, happier than you have for years. You vaguely register roaming hands, a hot wet mouth, a body on top of yours, something hard pressing against the apex of your thighs, filling you, consuming you in heady pleasure only amplified by the drugs coating your insides.  

Bliss. Pleasure. Pure unadulterated joy. And then nothing. 

When you come to, the weight of what had happened last night comes crashing down on you, making your foggy mind throb even more and you can feel bile rising inside of you as a toned arm around your waist tightens its hold on you. Oikawa grunts in annoyance when you claw your way out from his hold, scampering on shaky legs to his bathroom, heaving and expelling the contents of your stomach, trying futilely to cleanse yourself of your employer’s touch. 

You flinch when you hear footsteps approach, shrinking into the corner of the tiled room, body crouched and curled into a tight ball as you try to save any shred of dignity you still have by hiding your naked body as much as you can from his prying eyes. Salty drops threaten to trail down your face when he hovers over you, sweetly cooing down at you “not to be like this”, “you liked it so much last night”, “come back to bed with me” only to stream down your face when his countenance swiftly changes, handsome face glowering down at you before brusquely turning away and snapping at you to “get on with your work then if you’re going to be an annoying bitch”. 

It’s easy to convince yourself that you’re just being smart, just trying to survive as you obediently wash up and don your humiliating uniform, that it isn’t just you being a coward as you submissively go about your usual work day, still sitting with thighs pressed against Oikawa’s legs at meals, making no move to brush off the heavy arm he slings around your shoulders, only slightly flinching when his fingertips teasingly play with the hem of your skirt as he converses with the rest of the Seijoh Four. 

But you can’t deny that all you are is a weak fool, desperate to live when you shakily accept the pills he pushes towards you again that night, silently crying yet not doing anything to prevent the inevitable as you swallow any self-respect or pride you had along with the smooth pellets under his watchful gaze, too scared of the glimmer of gunmetal you see on the inside of his jacket to even think of resisting. 

And history repeats itself. Over and over again. 

Oikawa smiles at how different you are from that skittish creature who fled from his every touch, smirking at how naive and innocent you still are as you try to hide how eager you are for your daily dose, unaware of how he’s slowly been increasing it every night, ignorant of how you unconsciously lean into his touches, pretty lips wrapping around his fingers as he hand feeds you. 

Do you know what an animal you are in bed these days? Do you realize how little there is left to differentiate you from one of his filthy whores when you’re so doped up on whatever he gives you, moaning like a pornstar and leaving vicious red claw marks on his skin as you bounce on his cock? 

And he knows it’s time to move onto the next phase of your conditioning when there’s not even a speck of shame in your clear eyes when the sunlight begins to filter through the window, knowingly smiling in satisfaction when instead of slinking off to wallow in your regret you shimmy down between his legs and begin to nuzzle and mouth his morning wood, face full of nothing but wanton desire as you take his cock in your mouth. 

He doesn’t give you anything that night. Or the next night. Or the one after that. He doesn’t so much as even look at you outside of your usual eye contact, not a single flirtatious word slipping past his lips.

You should be grateful. This is what you wanted, right? To keep things strictly professional between the two of you. To not be coerced into the artificial pleasure you’ve been swallowing on a daily basis for the last month now. To not feel like just another warm body for Oikawa to taint. 

Your interview notes and open tab of job listings are right there, begging for your attention, practically screaming at you to pursue the life you’ve always dreamed of. 

Yet here you are, not even a week later, on your knees in between Oikawa’s legs as he leisurely reclines in his chair, peppering his inner thighs with kisses and rubbing your face against the growing bulge in his trousers, begging and pleading for another dose, feeling utterly empty and cold inside, unable to sleep, unable to focus, unable to function without the nights of hazy ecstasy. 

Your heart drops at the long disappointed sigh the brunette releases. 

“Drugs are expensive, cutie. I was just being nice and letting you try some new batches we’ve been producing, but now that they’re on the market, I can’t just keep on giving them to you for free.” 

He rolls his eyes when you adamantly tell him you’ll pay whatever the price is, a condescending smirk splitting his face from how quick you are to shut up, soul crushed when he reveals the extravagant cost, a price he knows you can’t afford with the salary he’s providing you with. 

But he artfully softens his smile as he begins to unbuckle his pants, sliding the fabric down and letting his throbbing cock spring into view, chuckling when it lightly slaps your face as it’s released from its confines, wondering if you’re drooling from the sight of his erection or the pills he’s playfully placing along the length of it. 

“I know you don’t have that money, cutie. But I’d be willing to accept other forms of payments.”

The words are barely out of his mouth before you’re rushing to take him in his mouth and he loudly laughs at how obscene you look, slobbering all over his length, fervently bobbing your head up and down, hastily trying to deep throat him to reach the pill strategically placed right at the base of his shaft, lips puckering as you inhale the drugs, swallowing around him in a way that has him groaning as you stuff your face full of chemicals and pre-cum. And it doesn’t take much longer for him to wash your mouth and throat with warm rivulets of sticky white fluids as he watches the goods take effect, his balls tightening and cock straining with arousal as you reach between your legs, fingers playing with your tight dripping hole while your lewd moans vibrate against him. 

It’s pathetically endearing how you can’t keep off of him after that, insisting on sitting on his lap during meals, your cute ass grinding against his clothed cock, always dropping to your knees in between chores, warming his cock in your greedy mouth, always asking him how many pills you’ve earned so far. You really are just his little slutty drug addict now, aren’t you? 

But he needs you to be more than that, needs you to learn that you belong to anyone who’s willing to give you the high you crave, needs you to realize that you’re just a free use drug addicted whore for anyone and everyone to use. 

So despite how tempting it is to just plunge balls deep inside your tight little pussy, he shoves you off of him one night as you try to grind against his body, feigning exhaustion and boredom of your body, watching in amusement at the panicked crazed look that flashes across your face at his words. Well aren’t you a beautiful sight, throwing yourself at his feet and groveling, saying you’ll do anything for another dose. 

Anything, huh? 

In your defense, even through the daze of your withdrawal, there’s still a wary expression on your face when Matsukawa and Hanamaki enter the room. Maybe you aren’t as broken as Oikawa had thought. But when you see the little baggies filled with the tablets you’ve become far too familiar with twirling between the duo’s fingers, you practically lunge at them and Oikawa finally allows himself the pleasure of reaching into his pants and stroking himself to the debauched sight playing out in front of him. 

Maybe he needs to fuck you in front of a mirror more often if this is what you look like from an outside perspective. It’s like you were made to be used, to be just a warm toy for men to use and Oikawa can’t help but think you look best like this, cocks penetrating both your front and back holes, your body squeezed between two bodies. And he fondly smiles at how you have Hanamaki’s face between the palms of your hands, your lips locked in a sloppy kiss as your tongue ravages the strawberry blonde’s mouth, searching for the pills the man had playfully placed on the tip of his tongue in front of your very eyes before winking at you and telling you to come and get them yourself if you wanted them so badly. 

They keep your daily training a surprise, mixing up who gets to wreck your body each day, how many cocks and rounds of cum you’ll need to pay with, what pills and dosage you get. Always keeping you lost and confused, making sure your mind is just a muddled mess that can only think of reaching your next high by any means necessary. 

Hell, even Iwaizumi takes part when he realizes that you’re beyond the point of no return, that Oikawa wasn’t joking when he said that there is no other choice for you anymore. This is your life now. This is who you are now. This is your “happily ever after”. He knows all that, can see all that in the way your dazed eyes only come to life at the sight of your addiction, your otherwise listless body perking up at the sound of the tiny objects rattling in their container. And yet a small sliver of guilt has him growling at you to get on all fours, ensuring your face isn’t visible, turning you into just another body for him to mindlessly use as he pleases. 

It’s an uncomfortable position, borderline painful as your knees rock back and forth on the hard floor with every brutal thrust of Iwaizumi’s hips. But you don’t care, the aching pain in your legs just dull background noise as you fixate on the tablets scattered on the floor in front of your face, dropping your entire upper body low to the ground, only your hips raised high as your mouth snaps forward. You’re so close and you mewl as your lips make contact with the first pill, uncaring of the pitiful sight you make licking and lapping the floor, whimpering when a hand firmly grabs you by the hair and roughly pulls your face away from your feast. 

“Maybe we should get you a dog bowl, cutie. It’s humiliating even for you to be eating from the dirty floor like that. Hold her hair for me, Iwa-chan.” 

You crane your neck back and forth, jaw jutting forward as you frantically fight against the tight grip holding you back, mouth drooling and tongue extending like a ravenous animal. But it’s no use and you whine, too focused on your unfinished “meal” to notice how Oikawa is still standing in front of you, cock pulled out from his pants, his hands rapidly fisting the shaft. And only when thick white spurts glaze the remaining pills do you whip your attention towards him, staring with hopeful wide eyes when he crouches in front of you and grabs your face. 

“When Iwa-chan lets go of your hair, you’ll get to have the rest of your treats, but you also have to eat the special seasoning I’ve generously given you, okay? If I see even a speck of it left, you’re not getting anything tomorrow, understand?”

Oikawa laughs at how vigorously you nod your head and with a nod in Iwaizumi’s direction, you’re released and the two men watch on as you lick the floor until it’s sparkling clean, slumping your face in the mess of your own drying saliva as you reach euphoria once more. You wail as Iwaizumi shoves you off a cliff and into floating clouds of bliss with one last thrust, the drugs in your system weaving a comforting cocoon around you that you melt into, unable to escape its soothing pull, giggling in content as his seed fills you to the brim. 

There’s silence as Iwaizumi pulls out of you, tucking himself back into his pants before sitting besides Oikawa, joining him as he continues observing your used and drugged up body sprawled across the floor, a dopey smile on your face as cum begins to leak out of your spent pussy. 

Minutes pass and Iwaizumi sighs, knowing what Oikawa is waiting for him to ask despite how insistent he has been over the years about not wanting to be involved in this particular side of the business...

“Are you going to have her start working at the brothel soon? She seems just about ready.” 

“Not yet. I want to give her a few test runs first before I have her work full-time at that establishment. She’s only been with the four of us, so I’m curious to see how she is with a complete stranger. It’s perfect timing too since Sawamura is coming over for a meeting soon and I know he won’t damage the goods if I gift her to him for a night or two. Plus, she hasn’t completely lost her mind yet so we can get some more use out of her before we toss her aside...”

The brunette rambles on, tone light and airy as if he’s just discussing the weather or a TV show he watched, as if he’s not mere feet away from a woman he’s utterly destroyed and rebuilt into just another brainless profit-making doll. 

And Iwaizumi tunes him out, already having heard almost this exact speech countless times by now, unable to even keep track of how many others like you there have been in the past, unwilling to think about how many more there will be in the future. But he snorts at Oikawa’s typical closing line.

“I guess it’s almost time to find a new cute maid.” 

[onesunofagun]

I shall now yell about Ingo, please stand by:

Ingo’s transformation from the underappreciated backbone of the ranch to an absolute ruff-wearing cantaloupe of a man is also pretty interesting (if you’re the kind of person who absorbs the Zelda series through your skin like a frog to live).

I’ve bolded the key points for skimmers.

Granted, the manga has it that Ingo just gets brainwashed by Twinrova into being a staunch follower of Ganondorf. That’s not canon, but it’s not informing any of this thinking, either way. 

In the beginning of OoT we meet Talon by waking him up from a nap, and we learn pretty quickly that he’s lazy and often yelled at by his daughter for slacking off like this. Ingo at the ranch confirms again that Talon doesn’t pull his weight around there, and since Malon’s still a child, it’s pretty obvious that Ingo’s settled with the bulk of the work.

Ingo is grumpy, he’s resentful, and he complains a lot. But he does do the work, and you can find him (presumably) in the process of mucking out the stables. 

Let’s examine what he does at the ranch:

Epona really liked that song... Only I could tame that horse... Even Mr. Ingo had a hard time...

Now, Epona is established in game to be a real winner of a horse. She’s fast, she’s smart, she’s got a lovely sorrel coat and white mane that seems to be quite rare or highly prized coloring. The catch is, she is notoriously wild. The only people she tolerates are Malon and Link, due in large part to being soothed by the song Malon’s mother taught her.

Ingo had to really try to crack this horse, which Malon’s observation suggests is unusual. 

Epona is very young when we first see her, so it’s never really revealed if she was caught wild, or bred at the ranch with a very headstrong temperament.

Ingo’s clearly the guy that’s breaking them in, though. The most Talon is doing is... sleeping in with the cuccos. We never see any organisation of the cuccos, in terms of egg collection or poultry farming, but nevertheless, Talon has the much less physical jobs even if he was doing them. His focus seems to be cuccos, deliveries to the castle and book keeping between naps (and to be fair it’s probably a little depression related, given the dead wife).

Malon gives us a cow later on, and she’s got the egg for the crowing cucco that wakes up Talon, so I’d like to assume for simplicity’s sake that even as a kid, Malon was up at dawn most days helping Ingo with the cows and milking them. It’s never really implied that she has amazing skill in dealing with horses, just that Epona has a special connection with her specifically. Other than that, Malon is simply kind and respectful of her animals (though I’ve got no idea how she got that cow to Link’s treehouse and that’s worth investigating). 

Later on, Ingo is also shown to be a competent rider. Enough that he has absolutely no qualms in challenging Link to races for wagers, and was quite confident of his ability to win.

The takeaway is, Ingo is usually VERY GOOD with both caring for and training horses, if not breeding them for the ranch.

That kind of lends to his grumbling, when he is referring to himself as ‘the Great Ingo’ and comparing himself to Talon, who is a ‘bum’. His claim to greatness may not be undeserved, at least in horse circles, and especially if he’s not getting particular credit for it, his bitterness and frustration (alongside envy, exhaustion, and dreams of recognition) would be quite deeply run.

So it seems that his friend and employer is clearly taking some advantage of him, especially after the death of Malon’s mother.

So now, let’s examine his feelings, and how he changes.

The feelings Ingo has about that are pretty textbook for the sort of thing ‘evil takes hold of and twists’, in the Zeldaverse.

Focussing on the game itself, Malon says this as an adult:

Since Ganondorf came, people in the Castle Town have gone, places have been ruined, and monsters are wandering everywhere. Mr. Ingo is just using the ranch to gain Ganondorf's favor... Everyone seems to be turning evil...

We do see other characters in Hyrule become influenced by the ‘darkness in their hearts’ as byproduct of Ganondorf’s reign. 

A prominent example of a character who was visibly dissatisfied with their lot, and then notably changes (while praising Ganondorf for what he’d done), is the Castle Guard who is heavily implied to have become the Poe Dealer. Even if by some slim means it’s not the same person, the Poe Dealer does still express that they could not do the work they do without Ganon as King, and that they now benefit from him being in that position and are grateful to him.

The Kakariko Carpenters seem to have given into their fantasies about living among the Gerudo women, and gone out to the Valley and gotten themselves taken prisoner. Following work near the fortress, the team chooses to act on their selfish desires and go for broke, chasing their dreams. They weren’t previously prepared to act upon these fantasies when Link was young, admittedly much milder in their still very prominent obsession, but seven years later, they’re quite happy to risk it all and piss away the stability of their careers (and nearly their lives) at the first opportunity.

Anyway, the trend is, those across Hyrule who are unhappy with their lot before Ganondorf’s coup tend to be ‘corrupted’ by seven years later, and appear to have given in to a twisted version of whatever they most wanted. 

This is noteworthy especially because the language in the game revolves around the Sacred Realm being opened and corrupted, too, by Ganondorf’s unbalanced heart and selfish goals. It is unable to be ‘sealed’ again while Link has the Master Sword. In aLttP, we know there is a mirror like effect to do with the sacred turned dark realm, in which it reflects the hearts of men. 

So it is very reasonable to say, that for OoT in particular, much of this evil influence plaguing the land and preying on the darkness an people’s hearts is a result of the corruption of the Sacred Realm. It is an indirect byproduct of Ganondorf’s acquiring of the Triforce, but not necessarily something he himself does to people on purpose, unlike the brainwashing of Nabooru.

Mr. Ingo is just using the ranch to gain Ganondorf's favor... But Dad... He was kicked out of the ranch by Mr. Ingo... If I disobey Mr. Ingo, he will treat the horses so badly...

This explains a lot of the more callous and greedy behaviour that Ingo shows later on, and why it seems to disappear when he is truly humbled by Link. 

Link’s win serves as a reminder of Ingo’s stagnating skill with horses, the very thing that made him feel so deserving of praise and recognition in the first place, in that for everything he now has control of at the ranch, he still cannot control that horse. He has become as much of a bum as Talon ever was, relegating Malon to do all the hard work while Ingo struts around uselessly. He’s even lost his touch with the Horses so much, in his arrogance, that now he has taken up mistreating them and using harsh and abusive methods (according to Malon’s concerns).

The humiliation and shame takes hold, his pride shattering with the loss of Epona-- not only as a valuable asset, but also as the horse he could never truly tame.

The dark feelings he was holding onto are let go of, as he regains a sense of humility, and the corruptive influence upon him dissipates. He even seeks out Talon to bury the hatchet and invite him back to the ranch.

Oh, I have to tell you about Mr. Ingo... He was afraid that the Evil King might find out that Epona had been taken away... It really upset him! But one day, all of a sudden, he went back to being a normal, nice person! Now my dad is coming back...I can't believe it, but peace is returning to this ranch!

But what about his obsession with Ganondorf in particular?

When the coup happened, Ingo watched the King of the Gerudo unwittingly play out a sort of grand parallel to what Ingo felt should happen on the ranch. To Ingo’s perception, I think Ganondorf was representing an ideal version of Ingo himself. 

A man of the desert, where hard work and grit are as second nature to survive the harsh conditions. A man frustrated with the King of Hyrule’s shit, and forced to swear fealty to him despite being a King himself. A man resplendent with wealth, with fine and flashy clothes and plentiful jewelry.

And perhaps the most important note of all, the Gerudo in OoT? 

They’re horse people. 

They love horses. Ganondorf’s horse is reputed to be a purebred Black Gerudo Stallion, which is obviously a specialty breed, that is fully armoured and as flashy as he is. When the Gerudo cut the bridge leading to the valley, the only way in and out is to have a skilled horse jump the gap. 

They also have a huge horseback archery range, and prowess in the sport is an incredible source of respect amongst the Gerudo, and many of the guards possess bladed polearms suitable for mounted use. From this, it can be assumed that during the recent civil war, Gerudo weapons, war tack and military tactics were probably built around mounted cavalry archers foremost, with a lesser focus on light and heavy cavalry aside (iron knuckle armour springs to mind).

Anyway, Horses are very important to the Gerudo in the era of Ocarina of Time.

So Ganondorf is also unique in the sense that he is the King of a people who value what it is that Ingo does very highly. He, of all people, stands to immediately recognise the knowledge and skill that Ingo possesses in rearing horses.

So this is a man who successfully stages a coup of Hyrule, who clearly inspires Ingo to do much the same of the ranch, and who Ingo also feels is very likely to take his side should he appeal the matter.

And Ganondorf does.

And if that’s not a great compliment to Ingo’s actual skill, I don’t know what is, because Ganondorf is not a man that suffers fools. He’s got a limited patience when it comes to shit that is beneath his notice. Clearly, he recognises that Ingo is indeed the backbone of that ranch-- and the main reason for the quality of its Horses-- and rewards this accordingly.

And for Ingo, being on decent terms with the big scary goth King is a very, very good place to be. But it’s more than that!

What a guy! Not only did he deliver on Ingo’s long due validation, he gave Ingo everything he’d ever dreamed of having to his name, and the authority to kick Talon to the curb. He gets it! Ganondorf, this great eight foot beacon of freshly sought divine power and topaz-encrusted glory, this absolute unit of a man, this great underdog horse-lover after Ingo’s own heart; he really understands how great Ingo is. Ganondorf is paving the way for people like them! Oh, to rub shoulders wiht such greatness when the rest of Hyrule is scorned. 

Ingo feels seen. The Great Ganondorf made all that thankless time spent shovelling horse shit while Talon slept mean something. The Gerudo appreciate Ingo’s talents.

And all Ingo has to do is keep turning out really good horses, and promise to present the King with his finest.

So Ingo knows he’s in deep shit when he gets cocky and loses Epona to a wager, who at this point, he’s prepared pretty well and sunk a lot of money into on the idea that she’s going to Ganondorf. 

Who he’s probably bragged to about how fast she is.

He lost her to some jerk in tights who’d barely ridden before, too. And then when Ingo tried to cheat him out of the win, the kid jumped the damned fence an in ass-bustingly cool move that really just drove home how excellent and rare Epona was.

One does not promise the King of the Gerudo a fast horse and then fail to deliver, let alone for such a stupid reason.

Honestly, by the end, the man’s just happy to be alive.

Also I’d like to think he and Talon had a much fairer delegation of work and forgave each other, each really learning to appreciate what they have and what’s really important.

how the fuck did the Kokiri leave the forest for this scene anyway, they don’t even have their faries???

[blood-starved-beast]

Irelia Headcanons again, but this time featuring Liana (Blossoming Blade)

Irelia met Liana in dance school. She’s a little older than Liana (like if there existed a grade system like in the modern day, she’d be a grade older or something like that). They shared classes and Liana always admired Irelia from afar. Was completely embarrassed/enamored when Irelia seemed to be more interested in her than in the other students.

That being said it took Liana long while to realize that Irelia liked her Like That. Irelia flirted with her, but gave her her space and kept their relationship as friends and didn’t press. It was Liana who overcame her anxiety to breech the question of “what are we?” before a tense battle.

That being said, Liana did not fight in the First Ionian Invasion. During the chaos prior to Irelia unifying the resistance, Liana’s parents came for her in the Placidium and the family fled the fighting. As such they remained unscathed from the Invasion for the most part. Liana willing offered herself to join the Resistance in the Second Invasion, overcoming great anxiety in doing so.

Irelia and Liana wouldn’t reunite until after the first Invasion. During the Invasion, Irelia didn’t know what happened to Liana and her family, and only hoped Liana was ok. But of course was very busy with the resistance. They met only by chance around a year after the war and the Placidium opened up again to receive the dancers back.

Liana was very shy of Irelia at first. Yes, Irelia was her childhood friend but they hadn’t seen each other in almost half a decade, and Irelia was now a famous war hero. Irelia was really excited to see Liana again and when Liana realized that it was still her best friend/crush behind the serious hero persona she warmed up to Irelia quickly.

Still, Liana did notice some changes with Irelia after the war from before. They weren’t red flags or anything, only that Irelia seemed a lot more troubled and burdened. Also more reserved. It saddens her, especially in the moments when Liana pressed for explanations, that Irelia would find a way to deflect it. Irelia the Blade Dancer had a lot more walls now and more difficult to navigate than Irelia the Dance Student.

Irelia hates the idea of burdening Liana with anything. Back in their school days Irelia was the one to protect Liana from bullies and people who had nothing nice to say and that mentality still remained in her as an adult. Only now taken to Eleven cause she’s a war general who had accustomed herself to care deeply for her men and women.

Unlike Irelia, Liana did not come from a family of dancers. Her father is a laborer (and good source of dad jokes) and her mother a small town apothecary. It’s from her mom that she got her motifs with blossoms/magic related to that. She also has a younger brother that was born right before the Invasion happened.

Irelia gets along well enough with totally-not-in-laws. It took her a while to re-accustom herself to humor after the war, so Liana’s father’s dad jokes caught her off guard at first. They get along well though.

She has a somewhat more rocky relationship with Liana’s mom, who as medicine person is convinced that Irelia won’t make it past 30 with the warrior lifestyle that she lives (and isn’t afraid to voice that opinion to Liana. Ironically, this was what convinced Liana to join the resistance for the second Invasion). She still treats Irelia’s ailments all the same, supports Irelia despite their disagreements.

Liana’s brother though thought Irelia to be the coolest at first. Though he wasn’t introduced to her as such, it became common knowledge that Irelia is a war hero and he got some clout among the other 6 year olds for his sister being friends (later dating) the Hero of Ionia. His opinion of her grew more nuanced as he grew up and became accustomed to Irelia’s incredibly bad sense of humor, the arguments she had with his mom, her social awkwardness when she’s not in a military setting, her lovey-dovey-ness with his sister. Now as a thirteen-year-old, he thinks of her as one of the family, but more importantly as a dork.

Irelia sometimes helps out with the family business selling medicinal herbs and potions. Used to be that she sold them at the counter but when word spread around that Irelia Xan of the Resistance was countering at the Medicine Shop at X town, people (especially those wanting to join the resistance) would swamp around and block access for people who were actual there for medicine. She was then relegated to herb preparer at the back.

When the assassination attempts started Irelia forced herself to become distant towards Liana and her family out of fear of any one of them getting caught in the crossfire one day. Liana joining the Resistance threw that out the window.

For that reason Irelia reflexively opposed Liana joining the Resistance at first. Liana insisted and pointed out that “Irelia of Navori was always caring for everyone else, but who’s going to care for her?” Irelia finally relented when it became clear that Liana wasn’t backing down.

EDIT, for some more I forgot to add: Liana is not short (Irelia is just tall for an Ionian) but is several inches shorter than Irelia. Irelia’s about as tall as Liana’s dad, a squat man heavily muscled (and tanned) from years of constructing houses and roads. It makes for a fun family portrait.

Irelia had met Liana’s dad once, prior to the Invasion. It was when he came to pick up Liana when the family was evacuating cause the Noxians had stormed their home town. He was the one to recognize her and point it out to Liana on their first meeting after the war. 

Her anxiety and insecurity aside Liana is somewhat more well-adjusted and “adult” in some areas more than Irelia. Being a war leader put a lot of important (especially social) things on the backburner for Irelia, and she’s maladjusted as a result. Some of the more unhinged things Irelia says worries Liana for example, but she doesn’t really know to handle that exactly without making Irelia close herself off. Dealing with Irelia’s childness in other respects (like her sense of “humor” and ease to anger at slight provocation) is frustrating but more simpler in some respects.

[nugnthopkns]

i’ll wait and i’ll listen

word count: 2.1k

warnings: mentions of deafness/hearing loss, cursing, i think that’s it

recommended listening: new song | maggie rogers & del water gap

a/n: hi! first and foremost, i want to say that this is based off my own personal experiences with a deaf father, and it is in no way a reflection of how other people or families with hearing issues operate. this is just how we live and how my dad goes about life. with that out of the way, enjoy some soft nolan content i threw together in 45 minutes. pretty sure i made this gender neutral, but please point out any mistakes!

There’s no legitimate reason for you to be so apprehensive about Nolan meeting your parents.

He’s a great person who is all you could ever ask for in a partner. The two of you get along like peas in a pod, and honestly most of the time your relationship feels like two friends hanging out. Of course there’s a bit more romance involved – but being with Nolan is so easy you barely have to think about it. 

Your parents aren’t the issue either. They’re both incredibly supportive of your relationship, and anything else you do. If it weren’t for them, you never would have left home – they’re the ones who packed the car and drove you all the way to Philadelphia. You never would have met Nolan if they hadn’t practically forced you out of the house and into the world. 

Truthfully, both parties would probably get along great. Your mother is kind and welcoming, and your father has interests similar to Nolan’s. Your younger siblings adore him – they came to visit one weekend and you took them to an afternoon game at Wells Fargo Centre, and afterwards the four of you went out for burgers. Since then they talk to him regularly, and have been begging for you to return home with Nolan. You can tell your parents are getting antsy too – after all, you’ve been with Nolan for nearly two years. 

Yes, Nolan has a busy schedule that doesn’t allow for much travel, but there have been plenty of opportunities over the years for everyone to get together. You’re the one who always comes up with a reason for him not to meet your parents. One time you were ‘sick’, another you were too busy with work to make the trip home. It isn’t that you’re worried they won’t approve or that Nolan will resent them. You’re apprehensive about bringing Nolan around because you’re worried there will be a communication barrier. 

Your dad is deaf, and Nolan doesn’t exactly enunciate his words well. His voice is also exceptionally deep, which doesn’t help much. It isn’t a secret, your father’s hearing issues, and you’ve spoken to Nolan about them numerous times. Most of the time it’s you fretting about it getting worse and he listens intently while you sob into his chest. Since the hearing loss came from years of working around loud machines, it was gradual, which was frustrating for him. You were in high school when he got hearing aides, but eventually they lost their desired effect. Now your dad relies on reading lips and other non-aural markers like hand gestures to fill in the gaps. 

“Babe, I have to meet them at some point,” Nolan says through a mouthful of pasta. “Especially since I plan on sticking around.”

Your mom had called earlier in the afternoon to ask when you were coming home next. The upcoming weekend is free in your schedule, and when you told her she insisted you bring Nolan. He’s out for the season with the migraine related issues so you couldn’t exactly lie and say he was going to be out of town. Instead, you fed her some bullshit excuse and said you’d check to see if he could move some stuff around. 

“I know,” you sigh. “I just don’t want you or my dad getting frustrated if talking doesn’t go smoothly.”

Nolan pushes his chair back from the table and walks to stand behind you. He rubs your shoulders soothingly and leans down to whisper in your ear. “There are a million and ten other ways I can communicate with him Sweetheart. Don’t worry about it.”

Deep down, you know he’s right. There’s no reason the two of them can’t communicate, even if they can’t do it verbally. After discussing it more and ironing out all your doubts, you call your mom back to let her know both you and Nolan will be coming. A small weight lifts from your chest, knowing that you’ll get the first meeting over with, but dread slowly creeps in. There are so many ways it could go wrong. 

☼☼☼☼

You and Nolan stand on the doorstep of your childhood home hand in hand. As if he can sense how nervous you are, Nolan squeezes gently, reminding you of his unwavering presence. 

“Whatever happens isn’t going to change the fact that I love you,” he says, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. 

To steady yourself from the negative thought swirling in your brain you lean closer to Nolan. He wraps his arm around your shoulder and uses his free hand to knock on the door. Less than two seconds your sister is bounding towards the door and flinging it open. 

“Mom! Y/N and Nolan are here!”

She steps to the side and lets the pair of you in. You shrug off your jacket and hang it on the rack behind the door – Nolan copies. As soon as you’re inside the entryway your mother is wrapping you in a massive hug. 

“I’m so glad you’re home darling,” she says, arms tight around you. “Was the drive okay?”

You go to answer her question but her attention is turned to your very tall boyfriend who is standing beside you like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“You must be Nolan. It’s so nice we could finally meet. Y/N has told me a lot about you.”

Nolan clears his throat before speaking, his deep voice echoing slightly off the ceiling. “All good things I hope,” he laughs, looking to you for reassurance. 

Nodding your head, you join in his laughter. You travel farther into the house, giving your brother a fistbump when you pass him in the hall. When you moved out your parents converted your room into a sophisticated guest bedroom, so there aren’t any embarrassing posters from your teenage years on the walls for Nolan to make fun of. You quickly unpack your suitcase, wanting to get back downstairs and spend time with your family. It’s been a while since you’ve been home, and you missed them more than you thought. 

“Is your dad here?” Nolan asks, hanging the couple of sweaters you guys brought up in the closet. 

You glance at the clock on the wall, you shake your head. “He’ll be home from work just before dinner.” 

The two of you head downstairs to chill with your siblings, but not without sharing a few kisses that make your spine tingle. At your brother’s insistence the four of you head to the basement to partake in an air hockey tournament. Though Nolan can hold his own in the NHL, he’s rather miserable at this iteration of the game. Your sister eliminates him in under five minutes, and after a hard fought battle you defeat your brother. 

Nolan tries to coach you before the gold medal game but you laugh him off. “Nol, you were terrible. I think I can hold my own.”

He breathes out harshly through his nose, but you know he isn’t upset with your teasing. “Fine,” he mumbles, “See if you can win without my all-star advice.”

Your sister manages to win in a shootout. It was a close game, and you challenge her to a rematch after dinner. She accepts, insisting you’ll lose again. Nolan bets he can race her around the property, so you move outside. Your mom lets you know dinner will be ready soon, and you throw her a thumbs up. 

Though your sister is a fast runner, she’s got nothing on Nolan’s six foot frame. He passes her with ease, cheekily throwing her the finger as he rushes by. You’re the finish line and instead of stopping when he reaches you, Nolan throws you over his shoulder and continues running through the yard. 

Your laugh rings out as you kick your feet. “Put me down!” you shriek. When he makes no attempt to prove he listened to your cries, you try again. “Nol, come on, put me down. If you fall it’ll be really bad.”

Knowing you’re right, Nolan stops moving and gingerly places you on the ground. His hands move to cup your face and he plants a warm kiss on your lips. You refuse to let it get too far, but you lean into him slightly and sigh when he pulls away. 

In the distance you hear your mom calling for dinner. “Kids, it’s time to eat,” she says. “Your father just got home.”

Your heart beat rises exponentially, and your steps drag slightly as you get closer to the door. Nolan notices, but doesn’t say anything. Instead he flashes you a smile that’s reserved just for you and makes your heart melt. 

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll make sure I don’t mumble.”

In the dining room, you guide Nolan to sit beside your dad. You figure it’s the spot where he has the best chance of hearing your boyfriend, and no one seems to protest. They give each other a polite nod while the rest of you rush to place everything on the table and serve the food. 

Once everyone is sitting, Nolan takes the initiative to introduce himself. “It’s nice to meet you Sir,” he says a bit slower than his normal speaking voice, making sure to clearly enunciate his words. 

There’s no response from your father, and you suck in a breath. You watched him focus on Nolan’s lips while he spoke, but you fear he still couldn’t quite understand what your boyfriend said. It takes a few more beats for him to process what was spoken, but then your dad is cracking a smile and holding his hand out for Nolan to shake. 

“Glad Y/N isn’t hiding you from us anymore. I thought the first time I’d meet you was at the engagement party.” His voice is a few decibels louder than everyone else’s, due to not being able to hear himself, but Nolan doesn’t seem to mind. 

They slip into an easy conversation about work and hunting, asking each other a million questions. There’s barely room for any one else to contribute but the rest of you don’t mind – it’s been a long time since your dad has been able to go this long without asking someone for assistance. Of course there’s a few bumps in the road – Nolan not speaking clearly or looking elsewhere while telling a story, but that was to be expected. You step in when needed, repeating phrases and recreating scenes with hand actions. Overall, the meal goes swimmingly, and the two men leave the table eagerly to swap stories. 

You spend the time catching up with your mother, and she gushes over how Nolan is handling everything. “He’s doing so well,” she exclaims. “He’s so patient with your dad, waiting to make he understood what was said before continuing, and he doesn’t have an issue repeating himself a few times. You really lucked out Y/N.”

“I know,” you say honestly. “He’s simply the best.”

It’s a few hours later that Nolan finds his way back to you. You arch your brow, wondering what he got up to, and he explains that your dad took him for a walk in the forest to show him the deer he’d been tracking the past couple of weeks. It’s heartwarming that they get along so well, and you feel a little silly for fretting over what would happen. 

☼☼☼☼

“Your dad is nice,” Nolan shrugs as you crawl into bed beside him. “I could hardly tell he was deaf most of the time.”

You tuck yourself into his side and hum. “He does a great job of not letting it define him,” you agree. “But thank you for being so patient with him.”

A small peck is placed to your shoulder blade and you sigh at the contact of Nolan’s lips on your skin. “He did grumble about how my voice is too deep,” he laughs. “Said he could barely hear me. Once I knew that I made sure to speak clearly and let him read my lips.”

You’re speechless. None of your friends or past romantic partners had made that much of an effort to treat your dad like he was a person. They got short with him for needing them to slow down or repeat themselves, and often would refuse to see him again. It’s part of the reason you were so hesitant to introduce Nolan – you wanted to protect him from another person who might treat him differently because he can’t hear.

“I really fucking love you,” you whisper into the darkness. 

You can practically hear the grin in Nolan’s voice as he speaks. “I really fucking love you too.”

The rest of your stay will go just fine, you think as you drift to sleep. There was nothing to worry about, and you can’t wait to watch a friendship blossom between your dad and boyfriend. 

☼☼☼☼

taglist: @jamiedrysdales @kiedhara @tortito @boqvistsbabe​ if you want to be added shoot me an ask :)

[baepop]

Written in the Stars

You’re the girl of Jungkook’s dreams, literally. The only problem: you’re taken by his best friend

Word Count: 26.2k

Pairing: Jungkook x You x Taehyung

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Pining, Soulmate Au, Plot based around supernatural dreams

A/N: Back again with another love triangle. Are you even surprised? I wanted to write this story after finding out Jungkook really liked the movie “Your Name”

Jungkook has always been a true romantic, a believer in kismet and fate, convinced there is only one person out there in the world made specifically for you.

You might attribute these beliefs to his obsession with dramatic anime movies, the fluffy K-dramas he binges, or to simply watching his own parents happily grow old together. But the truth was that he had an actual reason to believe the way that he did. What one might mistake for blind faith, the boy ascertained to be proven conviction, scientific even.

The fact of the matter was that he had concrete proof of this widely speculated notion being as real as he was.

His ascertations started at quite a young age, when the little boy with the scar on his cheek asked his mother a very complicated question in the kitchen. His brothers and father had already cleared out, leaving his mother to pick up after them. The little boy dutifully brought her the soiled dishes from the table into the kitchen, restating his question matter-o-factly when she stared at him in bewilderment. Mrs. Jeon stared at her youngest son of nine, her mind racing as to the possible reasons for his inquiry.

“Mom?” The boy tipped his head to the side, letting his buoyant hair fall to the side.

“I…why do you ask?” She posed her question as gently as possible so as not to scare him away. He was quite shy, so the last thing she wanted was to make him feel like he couldn’t confide in her.

But he simply shrugged, his large innocent eyes reflecting her confused expression within them. Of course, there wasn’t an ulterior motive to this question. What could he possibly know about true love?

The older woman smiled, putting on her dish washing gloves as she took the plates out of his hands.

She sighed, contemplating dreamily as she recalled her own romance with his father. “How to know when you’re in love? Well…it’s not really something you know, but rather something you feel. It’s a natural feeling, as natural as being hungry or just realizing you like something.”

Jungkook thought for a minute before responding, “Then what does it feel like?”

“Hmm…you know when it’s cold, so I throw your blanket in the dryer for a few minutes before tucking you in, and you’re warm and comfortable before you drift to sleep?” The boy smiled and nodded enthusiastically. It was his most favorite thing in the world. “It feels like that, but emotionally.”

“Emotionally?” Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows, unable to conceptualize being wrapped in a warm blanket in such an abstract way.

“Yes,” The woman gently poked the child’s chest where his heart would be. His gaze followed her finger before she began tickling his sides which earned a fit of laughter from the boy who shied away from her touch. She ruffled his head and ordered him to get the rest of the dishes from the table. He quickly obliged, but not before answering one last question.

“Jungkook! Do you…have a girlfriend at school?” The boy shook his head innocently before disappearing into the hall. She smiled to herself, wondering if he was telling the truth or if he just wanted to keep it a secret from his mother. She knew Jungkook wasn’t a secretive kind of kid, but she could still understand him not wanting to share things like that with his mom. She made a mental note to ask his father about it before bed.

What she didn’t know, however, was that this conversation would have more of an impact on the boy than she’d ever imagined.

Jungkook was experiencing something he never had before, something so out of the ordinary that he couldn’t ask anyone for advice about it for fear of sounding absolutely crazy. He could only try and get advice by asking out-of-the-blue questions to his mother because he knew she wouldn’t pry.

He had started dreaming of you, every single night, and he didn’t know what to make of it at first.

The dreams were mundane, ordinary slice-of-life reels of a foreign girl similar in age to him. For many hours of your day, he’d watch you wake up and get ready for school just as he would, going throughout your day, talking to friends and doing schoolwork. Then you’d come home and spend time with your sisters, play with your cat and watch anime or other things girls his age might do. None of it thrilled him in the least, and if he was being honest, it freaked him out, especially because he didn’t know who the heck you were.

He wasn’t yet at the age where girls were particularly interesting to him. None he knew liked video games or looking at bugs and therefore the female gender was unappealing to his boyish heart.

It was frustrating when he couldn’t seem to convince his brain that he didn’t want to dream of you anymore. Night after night, he’d be forced to watch your life as someone in a secret audience, much to his annoyance.

It wasn’t until you’d entered middle school and started getting bullied that his dreams began to impact him deeply. He’d always remember your first day at school when that mean older girl pulled on your buns and told you how ugly you were, and the way you pretended it didn’t hurt you until you got home and cried on your bed for hours. He’d felt so powerless, unable to help or even talk to this person he seemed to know intimate details about for so long. It was then that he realized his attachment to you for the first time.

Jungkook was always pretty popular at school, so he’d never had to worry about being bullied by anyone. And thanks to you, his popularity only seemed to increase over the years when Jungkook made it a point to stand up against bullies on behalf of others. After watching your struggle at school, he knew how deeply someone’s words and actions could affect others, and he didn’t want anyone feeling the way you did, ever.

Thankfully, his qualms were lessened when you’d both gone into high school. You seemed to be having a better time there, quickly finding a group of people with similar tastes and ideals to yours. He’d found it ironic how your lives seemed to be on a balancing scale. Whenever he was having a hard time, he’d go to sleep at night and watch you having the time of your life. So, while high school was good to you, Jungkook struggled with his studies, earning disappointing grades that he’d fearfully bring home to his stern parents.

The truth was that he wasn’t much of the academic type. He always preferred to be out in the sunshine, playing with some kind of ball or dancing or making music. He loved doing the things that made him feel most alive, and sitting in a classroom answering tiresome questions simply wasn’t that.

You, however, excelled in school, so much so that you had already been taking advanced classes by your third year. It was becoming apparent to Jungkook that you and he were very different people, but it had been so long that he’d been keeping tabs on your life that it didn’t matter. It was weird, the way his thoughts seemed to drift to you and what you might be doing while he sat in class chewing on his pencil.

He knew everything about you and your family and your friends. He knew what your favorite colors were, what your favorite flavors were and what kind of genres you preferred the most. He even knew about the secret piercing you had gotten despite not telling a single soul about it. You had skipped school alone to get it done in a sketchy part of town, and then spent the rest of that week secretly caring for it from infection. It was the first time he’d felt he could relate to you, and he found the thought funny enough to snigger about during silent times in class.

But as time went by, Jungkook was having a hard time being okay with it all. He knew he didn’t have much of a choice when it came to dreaming about you, he just wanted to know why.

Why you? Why still? What did this all mean? Was this the universe’s way of keeping him grounded? A way to show him that even when he felt singled out, there were still people on the other side of the world going through similar situations? Or maybe this was a superpower that he didn’t know how to control? Jungkook had visited countless comic bookstores in the city, trying to find a story similar to his own, anything that might give him guidance or a nudge in the right direction. Was he psychic? He didn’t feel psychic exactly. He’d never been able to dream about anyone else let alone tap into anyone else’s thoughts or lives the way he had with you. If this was truly his superpower, he’d consider the universe to be a cruel entity, considering this wasn’t exactly what he meant when he wished he had special abilities as a little boy.

He tried to ignore the doubt sitting in the back of his mind, the thoughts that negated you being a real person. He’d thought about it before, about the possibility that he had completely made you up, even considered the possibility that he was mentally unwell, but whenever he’d dream about you, he’d feel it deep in his bones, the realness of it all. He knew you were real and out there in the world. He just knew.

Jungkook continued to question the purpose of his dreams and look out for signs throughout high school, which he eventually received in the form of an animated movie. The tale of star-crossed lovers being connected in such a supernaturally convoluted way yet still finding their way to each other in the end had affected him in ways he couldn’t describe. He thought back to his mother’s words, about feeling so warm and comfortable when it came to being with the person you were meant to be with.

Were you his soul mate? The idea intrigued him. He’d always thought of you as a comrade, someone he was sharing his life with in the strangest way possible. But it all felt one-sided, how was he to know you might have those strong feelings about him? Had you been dreaming about him too? These questions kept Jungkook up at night before he’d finally close his eyes and tune into the latest occurrences of your life.

In this instance, he’d watched you get taken to the parking lot by some douchebag in your school that he had already disliked since your freshman year. Jungkook had woken up that morning frazzled and disoriented after watching you accept his confession of love. It seemed when he was becoming comfortable with the idea of you being the one person meant for him, you had finally decided to start dating. And with that guy no less.

Jungkook wished he could come see you, to tell you not to give this guy a chance to break your heart, but he knew you wouldn’t listen to him. Because as weird as it would be for him to tell someone about his dreams, it would be weirdest of all to tell you about them, if you hadn’t been dreaming about him too. Besides, he wouldn’t even know how to get to you, he only owned a bus pass and didn’t have any money.

And thanks to your decision to start dating, what had turned into mildly entertaining dreams had become his own personal hell for the next year.

He’d try to stay up as late as possible so he only had to watch a little bit of your life before waking up for school in the morning, and it was starting to take a toll on him. He didn’t care though, he’d deal with being tired just so he didn’t have to watch you pretend to be happy while in a toxic relationship. When he’d witnessed the way you held back tears after your dick-head of a boyfriend made a comment about your weight, Jungkook decided to form a strike against his subconscious. The boy began staying up late playing video games well into the early hours of the morning before getting ready for school. His friends commented on the bags under his eyes, and his teachers casted worried glances in his direction when they’d see him dozing off in class, but nonetheless Jungkook persevered.

And thanks to his stubbornness to sleep at night, he discovered another clue about his supposed superpower: He could only dream of you at night. Whenever Jungkook would take a nap during the day to supplement his lack of nocturnal sleep, he didn’t dream of you. Ironically, it was the most rest he had gotten in years, and the realization only served to confuse him even more.

After some time had passed with him silently protesting your relationship, he had finally given in and went to bed at a reasonable hour, if only to make sure you were okay, because as much as he hated who you were with, he still cared about you.

Much to Jungkook’s surprise, a lot had occurred in the short span of time he had been staying away from you. You were dealing with a messy breakup while preparing for a huge trip abroad with your class. Jungkook watched eagerly, trying to get important details from the conversations you were having. You hardly confided in your parents or sisters about what was going on at school, but luckily you had been keeping a journal, so he was able to get the juicy details of your life as you wrote out your feelings. Apparently your now ex-boyfriend had threatened you, telling you not to go on your class trip to Korea or else he’d break up with— Korea!? Jungkook was so surprised he had almost managed to wake himself up. You were coming to his country?! Where exactly?! When?!

The boy no longer cared about the details of your breakup. He only cared about your coming to see him. Well, he knew you weren’t hopping on a plane to go see him, per se, but this still felt like Jungkook’s chance to finally meet you.

Jungkook woke up for school with a pep in his step. His cheerful demeanor freaked his friends out, but was too preoccupied to notice. He just wanted to go on with his day as quickly as possible so he could go to bed and learn more things about your trip.

Unfortunately, he had been saddened to realize you weren’t in the best place mentally as of late since dealing with the breakup. Your ex-boyfriend had started a malicious rumor about breaking up with you because you had an STD, which wasn’t true of course, but to high schoolers, it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, the damage would still be done. You threw yourself into your studies again and kept to yourself, your trip abroad being the only thing you now looked forward to.

As the final week leading up to your trip came and went quickly, Jungkook prepared himself. He had decided to go see you, no matter how scared he was to introduce himself. He couldn’t let such an opportunity pass him by, he’d even sneak out of his house if he had to.

Jungkook was only able to gather that you would be visiting famous places with your class like the National Museum and the War Memorial, even making it a point to go to Lotte World, but he wasn’t able to get the specific details of your visit in order to be at the right place at the right time. Still, he ascertained that he’d be able to coordinate once you landed in Korea. He’d at least know where you were staying then.

But something peculiar happened yet again: Jungkook stopped dreaming about you the day you were set to depart to Korea. Jungkook went to bed that night eagerly, excited to see how you’d felt about flying for the first time and your general reactions to his favorite city ever.

When he’d woken up after hours of darkness, he was confused and disappointed, but not enough to bring his mood down. He felt a tingling sensation, a feeling of knowing deep in his bones that you were close to him. Even if he hadn’t dreamt about you, it didn’t mean you weren’t still here, and so Jungkook skipped school that day and rode public transportation to Seoul early in the day. His heart beat erratically the closer he got, the overwhelming feeling of kismet painting his world in rosy shades. He couldn’t believe he was finally going to see you, the person he had been dreaming about since he was a small child, in person.

Jungkook practiced what he’d say when he saw you. He wanted it to be perfect, but as he went over his lines in his head, it suddenly occurred to him that you didn’t speak Korean, and he certainly didn’t speak your native language. He thought back to his dreams, trying to recall how he was able to understand everything going on, but unable to explain it to himself. It was much like trying to explain the dreams themselves. He just knew what was going on. He knew how you felt about things, even when you weren’t verbose. He also knew how other people thought and felt around you despite not speaking the same language. He would be completely confused if he were there with you in person instead of dreaming about you, so it seemed that there were different rules when it came to his intrusive dreams.

This perplexed Jungkook even further. He didn’t know where exactly you were, and even if he did, he didn’t know how to talk to you. The boy scratched his head worriedly, wondering if what he was doing was silly, but he was now almost at the city. There was no turning back now.

Jungkook ascended the steps of the subway and took in a deep breath. The air was a lot cooler in the city, though not as fresh. He looked around at the bustling crowds of people, feeling a bit out of place in his school uniform. He began walking in the same direction as everyone else, only stopping to buy flowers from a street vendor along the way. He figured if he didn’t know what to say to you, a pretty flower might be able to say what he couldn’t.

He didn’t want to scare you off by coming on too strong. Still, he wanted to convey his feelings for you somehow, to show you that you two were fated somehow, even if neither of you knew why exactly.

Jungkook walked around aimlessly for hours. As his feet grew tired, he realized how silly it was to assume he might run into you just by being in the same city. Seoul was huge, and the odds of that were slim. Still, if the universe had bothered to present you to him for so long, then maybe it would lend him a helping hand right now, too.

He made his way to all of the places he knew your class would visit. He didn’t have any money to go in to some of them, so he waited around to see if you might show up. When you didn’t, he began feeling even sillier about the entire ordeal. As the late afternoon approached, he reluctantly caught the train back home, knowing it’d be best that he arrived home at the same time as usual so his parents wouldn’t suspect him of playing hooky.

He rode the train home dejectedly, but still hopeful to see what your day was like when he’d go to bed that night.

But unfortunately, only darkness awaited him again.

Jungkook awoke more confused than ever the next morning. What did this mean? Was he losing touch with you? It would be ironic, since you were now physically closer to him than ever before. Was he losing his super lame superpower all of a sudden? The thought freaked him out. His dreams had effectively become a part of him and his identity, not to mention, he’d basically grown up with you. To suddenly not know about you every night was to relearn how to be alone again, which he hadn’t been for almost a decade. Jungkook quickly shook the thought from his mind.

Since his school was quick to call parents for any little thing, he wasn’t able to continue skipping school to go into the city, but he knew you’d still be there in the weekend coming up, so he settled for trying to get his dreams to come back to him so he could find you.

But as each night came and went without a sign of you, Jungkook grew increasingly anxious. He was no closer to finding answers than he was to finding you, and the thought made him feel helpless. Worst of all, he felt as if his image of you was already fading, despite having seen you every night for years. He tried his hardest to recall all of your features, but they came up hazily. He’d been so shaken by the realization that he pulled out a sheet of paper in class and began trying to sketch you in the middle of class. He came out with a drawing of a faceless girl in a school uniform, despite his best efforts. The ambiguous drawing mocked him, so he balled it up angrily and tossed it into his bag, deciding that it meant nothing if he decided it so.

Just as he had no control over beginning to dream about you, he had no control over continuing to do so, he’d soon realized, and the whole thing felt like a cruel joke. Was this the universe’s plan? To get him invested in someone unreachable only to yank them away when he was so close to getting to them?

On Friday night, Jungkook went to bed with his weekend outfit folded neatly at the foot of his bed. He was determined to head out bright and early and spend the entire day in the city searching for you. And much to his surprise, there wasn’t any darkness waiting for him as he drifted off to sleep.

You were on an airplane, looking out of the window and watching the sunset. Your classmates were also on the plane already sleeping. It turned out that your trip had gotten cut short due to a funding mix up at your school. You were disappointed, but you had had so much fun the last few days, so you decided to focus on being grateful for having the experience at all. By the time you were getting close to landing, Jungkook had woken up.

He sat upright, tears flowing freely from the corners of his eyes. He wasn’t crying exactly, but he should’ve been. Instead, he immediately fetched a sketchpad and began drawing you. He dragged the thin lead across the page continuously, slowly forming the image of you looking out of the plane window. It was you, of that he was certain. And although he was momentarily relieved, he hated the way someone who didn’t even know who he was could have such control over his life.

He laid back down and allowed himself to feel the deep sadness that washed over him. He had decided to believe in his initial suspicions. It turned out that the universe had been just as cruel and fickle as he suspected it to be.

Jungkook spent the rest of his senior year processing his feelings of anger in different ways.

He’d returned to his strike, staying up at night and sleeping during the day. He no longer wanted to be invested in your life as much as he already was, especially if his knowing you from afar was destined to stay that way forever.

He wasn’t mad at anything or anyone in particular, though sometimes he hated you for not coming to find him, as irrational as that was. Sometimes he hated himself for not being more capable of finding you, sometimes he hated your school for not giving him enough time, sometimes he just hated the universe for making him into this plaything he considered himself to be.

As you focused on college applications, Jungkook began spending less time at home and more time exposing himself to the night life in Seoul. He knew he had no plans of pursuing a University degree despite his parents’ encouragement. So instead, he did whatever came to mind, especially if it was something dangerous or out of the norm. He convinced himself he was simply trying to find himself, but a small kernel of truth inside of him suggested he was being destructive on purpose, only wanting to pursue things that would suggest he wasn’t the same boy as he’d always been, that he wouldn’t bend to the universe’s rules on who he was and consequently who he should be with. That his dreaming of you wasn’t a huge part of who he was.

The five years that followed his high school graduation were a bit of a blur. He’d moved out at 19 and into a house full of 6 other boys that he’d met in the city. He’d gotten an overnight job, a shit ton of tattoos, and a dog since then.

Jungkook now spent his nights bartending at a trendy club in Hongdae and snoring the day away in his room. Even the nightly conquests he’d bring home reflected the kind of life he was now living, fast-paced and wild.

Just as Jungkook had numbly flung himself into a lifestyle he knew nothing about growing up, he did the same with women, screwing his way through his Seoul without remorse. And just as he chose to think that his beliefs would be true simply because he could force them to be true, he believed he could find the one simply because he decided you weren’t. Of course, when he found an inability to connect with anyone that he’d bring home or meet on a random day, he blamed it on whatever was convenient. His reason for blowing off the girl who had cutely left her number on his nightstand last night: he couldn’t see himself being with a cat person. It would never work, or so he told himself as he stretched his tired muscles.

The groggy boy yawned and sat at the edge of his bed, petting his pit bull who had excitedly come to his feet as soon as he awoke. He felt bad for not being able to spend more time with his dog, but he was thankful one of his friends was always home to care for him when he couldn’t. Besides, the dog had grown more attached to his best friend anyway.

He peered into his tired eyes reflected back at him in his large mirror that faced his bed. He shook his long dark hair out of his eyes and flexed his muscles, watching his tattoos contort in the process.

“You are so fucken full of yourself.” Taehyung watched his friend from the doorway before the dog turned towards him, wagging his tail furiously. Tae was his favorite person in the house because he was home a lot and therefore spent the most time with him.

Jungkook rolled his eyes, flashing a cocky smile towards his friend before locating his shirt and throwing it on over his head.

“What time is it?” He yawned and stood up, patting the bed for his phone.

“Five. Come eat.”

Both of them descended the stairs once Jungkook found his cellphone in the pocket of his jeans sprawled on the floor. They joined the rest of their rowdy housemates at the dinner table, taking seats opposite of each other as Yoongi began serving them the fried rice he had slayed over.

As Jungkook rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he looked around the table and felt at ease. He’d managed to find himself in crazy situations since he’d left home, but the one thing he didn’t regret was befriending this group of boys. They’d taken him under their wing and offered him countless good advice when he really needed it. But most of all, he was grateful for his absolute best friend in the entire world, Taehyung.

They had gotten off to a rocky start when they first met, sizing each other up after one spilled a drink on the other during a party. After so long, neither of them remembered who started the altercation exactly, but they could both freely laugh about it since the whole thing was so stupid.

Jungkook and Taehyung ended up spending a lot of time together after that fateful party since they shared so many friends, and realized they had a lot more in common than they originally thought. It wasn’t long before they were as thick as thieves, going out together, getting kicked out of clubs together, giving each other poorly drawn tattoos and playing wingman when one desperately needed to get laid.

Though Taehyung was always as rambunctious as he was, Jungkook still knew he didn’t share that same chaos within himself that compelled him to be reckless. Taehyung was a good guy with a good head on his shoulders and a bright future ahead of him, so the closer they got, the more Jungkook encouraged him to go to college and put those brains of his to good use.

He ended up taking the advice, which is where he met his current girlfriend. Jungkook had been both happy and disappointed to hear the news. He saw how happy and smitten Tae was, but this meant he had lost his wingman, and it also undoubtedly meant they would spend less time together since he’d seen first-hand how girlfriends suck up a man’s free time. Jungkook wrinkled his nose at the thought as he chewed on his dinner, well, breakfast really.

“Something wrong?” Yoongi watched Jungkook make a face as he ate, worried about the taste of his food.

Jungkook quickly shook his head, “No hyung, this is really good, thank you.” Yoongi nodded in satisfaction, turning to look at Taehyung.

“What about you?”

Taehyung turned to the older boy in confusion, swallowing his food before reaffirming how good the rice was. Yoongi chuckled, shaking his head before he spoke, “Not that. Didn’t you have something you wanted to tell us?”

The table went quiet as Taehyung smiled, his cheeks twinged pink in embarrassment at the sudden focus on him. Jungkook quirked his brow, unsure as to what was going on. He was usually the first to know about Taehyung’s business, but his increase in hours at work had been keeping him out of the loop with all of the house’s plans.

Taehyung cleared his throat, making eye contact with the members of the table as he spoke, “So, as you all may or may not know, I have a girlfriend,” Someone made a sound of disgust which caused the table to erupt in laughter. Nonetheless, Taehyung persevered, “And it’s getting pretty serious so, I want to bring her over so you all can meet her. You guys are like my family so…” Another sound of disgust was made, but this time it came from Jungkook. Everyone laughed as Tae flung the bottle of sauce at him. The younger boy caught it, his squinted eyes alight with humor. “Since everyone has a day off this Saturday, I’m inviting her over then. I figured we could watch a movie or something. It’s been forever since we all hung out as a group too. Everyone’s so busy these days…”

The boys took turns looking around the table, feeling a bit guilty for not making more free time for each other. When they had first moved in, they were all inseparable, but now, it was rare for them to all be congregated to share a meal the way they all were now.

“Anyway, that’s it. Please don’t embarrass me.” Taehyung held his palms up together in the air, pleading his hyungs not to go out of their way to scare his girlfriend off.

Jungkook smiled as he watched his friends begin to crack jokes about how domesticated Taehyung had become after becoming taken. The brunette ate his food in silence, trying to focus on their words and not in the buzzing feeling he felt deep inside himself. He knew this feeling already, he had felt it before, and if this was years ago, he’d be unwilling to give it the time of day.

Before, he had wanted to drive you out of his life by force, and it had worked for a bit, but every once in a while, this feeling of nostalgia would wash over him, reminding him that somewhere out there in this big world full of billions of people, you existed, no matter how much he thought he didn’t care. Eventually, he just had to make peace with that, and allow you back into his thoughts bit by bit so that he wouldn’t die a resentful old man (as he put it).

It was a year ago, right around the time that Taehyung had announced his relationship to Jungkook. He had played his role as “the best friend who just wanted him to be happy”, but when he sat alone in his room that night, he’d fished out his sketchbook that was flung under the bed and began flipping through it. Countless drawings of you littered the pages, some in your school uniform, some in a sunhat as you helped your mother pull weeds from the yard, even some of you as a kid when you still wore buns to school. He allowed himself to look at these images fondly for the first time, allowing himself to feel connected to a part of himself he had carelessly thrown away.

Now that he was a man, he was able to make peace with the fact that things didn’t work out the way he had hoped they would as a child, and that that was okay. He even tried to draw you again for the first time in years, but the image came out looking like someone unrecognizable, so he had sighed and put the pad away again. Though he didn’t start sketching you again as he used to, he allowed himself to think about you from time to time, and that made all the difference.

He had grown comfortable with the idea of you again, even now as he tried but failed to listen to his friends talking, his mind wandered to you and what you might be doing. He wondered what your life was like now and what you looked like, if you went to college, if you had dated anymore douchebags, if you cut your hair short like you’d always wanted to but never had the bravery to do so. Jungkook sighed, turning back to his plate of food. None of it mattered anymore anyway.

Saturday came all too quickly and Jungkook wasn’t exactly excited about it. He knew Taehyung specifically chose this day to bring his girlfriend around because it was Jungkook’s day off, and it bothered him. He grumbled as he brushed his teeth, wondering why you were so special to have such a welcome wagon. You had been the person to take his best friend away, so to Jungkook, your arrival had been a personal offense. They were supposed to be bachelors in Seoul, but now he was flying solo and it just wasn’t as fun.

As the younger boy joined his friends in the living room on Saturday afternoon, he noticed Taehyung was missing.

“He went to go pick her up.” Jimin read the confused look on Jungkook’s face. The boy nodded, yawning as he plopped himself down on the couch. His dog came bounding in and jumped up on his lap. He patted the dog’s back as he leaned back and closed his eyes, allowing himself to doze off. He had been pretty restless, so he was tired, to say the least.

It wasn’t until his dog had excitedly jumped off of his lap and ran towards the door to greet the newcomers that Jungkook woke up again. The force of the dog using his lap for take-off shook the boy awake, causing him to come-to just as Taehyung and his girlfriend let themselves in. Jungkook yawned again, calling out sternly to his dog when he saw him barking and sniffing his guest excitedly. The dog didn’t listen, choosing instead to lay on his back and relish in the pets and scratches he was being treated with. Jungkook chuckled and stood up, making his way over to them to make sure his overly excited dog wasn’t bothering Tae’s girlfriend.

He watched as you scratched his dog in all the right places before looking up at him with the brightest smile on your face.

“Is he yours? He’s so cute!”

Jungkook froze as he stared into your eyes. His entire body went cold, buzzing with that feeling of nostalgia that became second nature to him. It was you. He hadn’t seen you in years, but it was definitely you, he was sure of it.

It was as if time had stopped when he stared into your eyes. He stopped breathing in that moment, unsure of which thoughts and feelings to process first.

He was immensely shocked, because he had long made his peace that he’d never meet you. He was dumbfounded, because of all places and circumstances for you two to meet, it had to be this way. Lastly, he fought the urge to bust out laughing, because of course fate would have him meeting you now when he had all but given up on any notion of kismet. Of course, you would pop back into his life now.

He drank your appearance in ravenously, willing himself to memorize your features all over again. It was as if staring at an old photograph. He was filled with a sense of awe and fondness at how so much time had passed yet it was as if no time had passed at all. You hadn’t changed in the slightest, he concluded. You still wore your hair exactly as you had in high school, and your eyes were still large and full of wonder, he was happy to find. He thought back to his sketch book and the countless drawings it held of you with your eyes big and round and full of stars in them.

But for all these thoughts and emotions coursing through his veins, he was unable to voice any of them, the feeling of déjà vu shaking him to his core and serving as reassurance that he hadn’t been crazy, he hadn’timagined you.

He stared open mouthed, unable to form the words he had always wanted to say to you, until Tae nudged his side. He looked at his best friend who had shot him a confused look, silently telling him to stop being weird. He had almost forgotten under which circumstances he was meeting you in. Almost.

“Oh, uh, yeah, he’s mine. Thanks.”

You nodded and stood up, coming to Taehyung’s side and grabbing a hold of your boyfriend’s hand. You peered at the five other curious eyes that stared back at you from the living room. Tae led you toward the couches and Jungkook hesitated before following right behind his traitorous dog.

“Everyone, this is Y/N, Y/N, this is Yoongi, Jimin, Jin, Hobi, Namjoon and Jungkook.”

You blushed, bowing at everyone and smiling shyly at Jungkook. You hated being the center of attention, so you wanted to get this introduction out of the way as soon as possible.

“Wow, she’s a foreigner.” Yoongi was the first to speak, eyeing you and Taehyung.

“Oh, did I not mention that?” Tae scratched his cheek in thought. He had mentioned it, but only to Jungkook.

“No, you didn’t. Does she speak Korean?”

“I do,” you spoke up, feeling awkward that they weren’t talking directly to you.

The boys looked at each other in wonderment, already impressed by Taehyung’s girlfriend. But the person who was most intrigued was Jungkook. A thousand questions burned at the tip of his tongue. He was dying to know how you’d gotten here, and how he might fit into that equation, though he desperately beat back that tiny flame of hope inside of himself that somehow you were both still meant to be.

“So, what are we watching?” Hobi opened a bag of chips and dug his hand in, already bored of the introductions. Relief flooded your system as they all switched to a topic that wasn’t about you.

Jungkook shifted his gaze to his feet, realizing he was still staring like a weirdo, so he decided to pop the dvd into his entertainment system while you and Taehyung situation yourselves on the floor. You cuddled into your boyfriend’s side, shyly leaning your head on his shoulder to shield yourself from any curious eyes.

Jungkook made his way towards his spot on the couch now occupied by his dog. He shooed the animal off and plopped back down, keeping his eyes trained on the television.

But try as he did, he couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering towards you. He could barely see you from the way you were sitting next to Taehyung below, but it was enough to know that you were there in the same room as him. His heart began racing as he thought about what this might mean.

You weren’t just a stranger in the street he happened to recognize, you were his best friend’s girlfriend. And apparently you two were serious, according to Taehyung himself. That wasn’t a term his best friend used lightly, so he knew you two were the real deal.

It was only then that his jealousy had begun to set in, though it felt out of place.

Jungkook had given up on you a long time ago, made his peace with the idea that you and he weren’t, in fact, fated somehow. So why was he suddenly green with envy at the thought that Taehyung of all people would be the one you ended up with. He had grown comfortable with the idea that some ordinary guy on the other side of the world whom he knew nothing about would be the guy you ended up with, not his best friend.

Jungkook balled his fists on his thighs. He let out a shaky breath and clenched his jaw, willing his eyes to go back to the movie on screen.

But when the chips made their way to you, he watched as you politely declined to have any. Jungkook began reminiscing to a few years ago when you had gone through a phase of eating a lot less to look a certain way. He pursed his lips, hoping you weren’t doing that kind of thing again.

He watched your hand, specifically the one enveloped inside of Tae’s grip. The blonde rubbed circles into your thumb which cause your shoulders to relax and for you to melt into Taehyung’s side. You had been tense, though Jungkook suspected as much since you’d never quite gotten over your aversion to attention as a child.

Suddenly the boy felt a pair of eyes burning at the side of his face. He turned and caught Hobi’s eyes on him. His housemate furrowed his eyebrows, gesturing over to you behind your back and mouthing the words why are you staring.

Jungkook pursed his lips. He had forgotten about his surroundings yet again. He absolutely wouldn’t be able to explain himself, so he settled for seeming like a creep in his friend’s eyes as he turned his focus back on the television. And he successfully kept his attention off of you, though he couldn’t quite stop his mind from drifting.

He began to wonder what exactly you had been up to for the past couple years that had landed you here, in his living room, watching a movie together.

The last thing he remembered about you was that you had taken a trip here after your shitty high school boyfriend had broken up with you. Had you liked Seoul enough to come back to and live? Had you pursued your interest in historical studies like the little nerd you always were? Clearly you had learned a thing or two since high school in the romance category, since you had said yes to such a great guy like Taehyung. Would you have been less happy if you had ended up with him? Jungkook shut his eyes and forced the intrusive thought out of his mind. There was no you and him, there never was, so there was no reason to waste time imagining it.

Before he knew it, the movie had ended, and he had no idea what is was even about. There were a few explosions, that’s about all he could recall.

As everyone stretched and commented on the movie’s ending, Jungkook stole a few glances in your direction. He instantly noticed how you had hid yourself behind Taehyung a bit, listening attentively but shying away whenever someone looked at you. In an effort to get away from Yoongi’s stare, your eyes landed on Jungkook’s which had already been on you. You blushed and looked down at your feet, feeling socially overwhelmed. Jungkook fought the urge to be protective over you, to get in between you and the curious stares and to ask you if you were okay. But no matter how much of a right he felt to do these things, he knew he couldn’t, so he was happy when Taehyung looked down and finally noticed your blushing face. He looked up at Yoongi and quirked a brow at him.

“You want to take a picture? It’ll last longer!” Yoongi chuckled at Tae’s outburst but nonetheless turned away from them. He challenged anyone else with a stern look who might dare to make you feel uncomfortable. Each of the boys looked away, rubbing the backs of their necks like little boys who had been caught teasing the new girl.

Jungkook cleared his throat, taking this moment to speak to you for the first time.

“So…Y/N… how did you get to be in Korea, if you don’t mind me asking.” The hard line in Taehyung’s lips softened into a smile. He felt glad that at least one of his friends was being polite. Your boyfriend turned towards you, giving you an encouraging smile.

You peered up at Jungkook from between your eyelashes, the blush slowly leaving your face. “Well, I came to Seoul once in high school, and I really liked it. I ended up applying to Yonsei shortly after. I wasn’t expecting to get in, but I did, and I’ve been here ever since.”

Jungkook nodded thoughtfully, slowly piecing together the last couple years of your life he had been absent for.

“So…you’re still in school then?”

“No, actually, I graduated last year. I met Taehyung during my graduation in fact! It’s a funny story.” You smiled up at your boyfriend who was beaming down at you. He hugged you closer to his side, recalling that day vividly.

Someone made a noise of disgust, breaking you two out of your moment. Taehyung launched himself at Jimin while everyone laughed, including you. You giggled quietly as you watched your boyfriend wrestle his friend to the ground. Jungkook was enamored with you, that he couldn’t deny. He had so many more questions, but he knew it’d be weird to give you the third degree right now, so he took the opportunity that everyone’s attention was averted to slip quietly upstairs to his bedroom. He had grown mentally exhausted and he wanted a chance to recoup in the solace of his bedroom.

As he plopped himself on his bed and stared up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head, the same words he had been trying to force out of his head were now running rampant through his mind like a broken record. If I hadn’t given up on us, would I be where Taehyung was at now? Should I have waited for you?

The boy sighed and stood up, crouching down under his bed to fish for his sketch pad then locating the pencil he had chucked onto his nightstand. He got to work right away, sketching a blushing girl, giggling at something a few feet away. He spent extra time on her features, making sure he got them exactly right this time. He paused to look at it periodically, ruminating on what was missing before he added a detail here and there.

Jungkook wasn’t sure how much time had passed before there was a heavy knock at his door. He opened the door only to find Hobi leaning against the doorframe, staring at Jungkook with a weird expression on his face. He let himself into the boy’s room without invitation, something that always annoyed Jungkook to no end.

“Can I help you?” the brunette closed the door and turned to his hyung who had already made himself at home on his bed. His new guest eyed the sketch pad on the bed before turning back to his younger friend.

“What’s up with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You seem weird, can’t put my finger on it though.” Hobi squinted as he stared at Jungkook, willing for him to cough up any details about Taehyung’s girlfriend that he didn’t know. “What do you have against Y/N?”

The question caught Jungkook off guard, causing him to look around the room and stutter. “I— I don’t know what you’re referring to hyung. She’s a nice girl, why would I have anything against her?”

Hobi continued squinting at Jungkook. He knew him to be a terrible liar, which couldn’t be more obvious in this moment. This only served as more confirmation that something fishy was going on.

“Well, you couldn’t stop staring at her, and the first chance you got, you left. You must know something.” Hobi leaned back on the bed and felt the pad brush up against his fingers. Since Jungkook wasn’t budging, he decided to pick it up and flip through it. Jungkook froze as he watched someone looking at his drawings for the first time ever. Would he know who they all were?

He watched Hobi carefully, noticing how his dull eyes had lit up in recognition. His eyebrows shot up as a slow whistle left his puckered lips. Shit.

“Holy shit—”

“Let me explain.”

“You’re in love with Tae’s girl?!” Hobi turned toward the boy with pure humor rearranging his features. He had caught the bastard red handed.

“No, I’m not!” Jungkook ground his teeth together as he stomped over to his bed and ripped the pad out of his friend’s hands.

“Yes, you are!! You totally are dude. There’s like a million drawings in here of her! When did you have time to do all of these!?” Hobi spoke in between incredulous laughter.

Jungkook sighed impatiently, looking back towards the door in fear that someone might overhear.

“Shut the fuck up! You have no idea what you’re talking about right now.”

“So, what is it then?” Hobi leaned back, eyeing his friend suspiciously. There wasn’t much the younger boy might be able to say that would convince him otherwise, but he gave him the benefit of the doubt, nonetheless.

Jungkook sighed again, dragging his feet as he moved beside Hobi. He sat down heavily, placing the pad on Hobi’s lap reluctantly.

“I always date my drawings.” Jungkook didn’t offer anything more, so Hobi let his curiosity get the best of him and flipped the book open once more. He looked at the bottom left corner of the first page, furrowing his eyebrows while reading the date once, twice, and one more time.

“This is from…years ago…” He turned to another page, and then another, finally realizing that today wasn’t Jungkook’s first encounter with Tae’s girlfriend.

“Bro…this is fucked up.” He chucked the book back on the bed, turning to Jungkook whom was regarding him shamefully. “Does Tae know about this?”

Jungkook shook his head solemnly. “He doesn’t have to know either. I’m staying out of the way, so don’t say anything to him.”

Hobi thought for a moment. He wasn’t used to being Jungkook’s confidante. That role had been taken by Tae from the beginning. He was conflicted, since they were both good friends of his. He didn’t want to be in the middle when this would undoubtedly blow up in Jungkook’s face, but he didn’t want Tae to think him a traitor for staying quiet either. But what would he even be staying quiet about?

“So, what exactly went on between you two? Did you two grow up together or something? She didn’t seem to know you when she first got here.”

Jungkook sighed, realizing he would have to risk sounding crazy in order to get Hobi to understand the unique situation he was in.

“That’s because she doesn’t know who I am. But I’ve always known who she was.”

“What are you some kinda stalker?!”

Jungkook deadpanned at Hobi who pursed his lips, promising not to interrupt anymore.

“It’s…hard for me to say this, so be open minded, if you can. I’ve had these…visions,” Jungkook fearfully peered at his friend who was staring back at him in confusion, “so to speak, since I was a child. They were all about her, and it’s not like I chose this, or anything, they just kind of happen. But it was hard for me to recall her face whenever I wasn’t seeing these…visions…so I started sketching her whenever I could, to remember. I know it sounds weird, but please believe me, I have no reason to lie.”

When Jungkook hadn’t heard anything, he looked over at his friend who was staring down at the floor in contemplation. Hobi was conflicted between believing Jungkook had truly lost his marbles and believing even a sliver of what he was saying. Hobi never believed in anything supernatural of that sort, so it was hard for him to process his words. Still, if there was any possibility that he wasn’t going to go rat Jungkook out to Tae in the next minute, it all depended on whether he believed Jungkook’s innocence. He couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t intrigued, but the thought of Jungkook making all of this up to convince him they weren’t fooling around being Taehyung’s back seemed a bit much.

“So, let me get this straight. You expect me to believe that you have all of these drawings and know intimate things about Taehyung’s girl, not because you two are hooking up in secret, but because you have these weird fortune telling powers? Do you think I’m an idiot or something?”

Jungkook sighed again, “I don’t know what you want me to say. It’s the truth. There’s nothing else to it.”

Hobi thought for a second. He had fully expected his friend to blow up on him and get defensive, and when he didn’t, he was even more inclined to hear him out.

“Okay…if this bullshit is all true, then tell me some things about her that only you would know.”

Jungkook quirked a brow, wondering how that would prove his innocence to Hobi, but nonetheless he complied.

“Well,” Jungkook flipped through all of his memories of your life in his mind, recalling a ton he could choose from, “she auditioned for the cheerleading squad in her middle school, but she got denied because she couldn’t even do a cartwheel. Oh, and she used to have a secret pet. She found this dying kitten on her way home from school one day and she wanted to take it home, but she knew her parents wouldn’t be okay with that, so she snuck it in and kept it in her room. She fed it and bathed it, but it died a week later, and she was so broken up about it for a long time.” Jungkook thought some more, “When she turned 14, her parents finally let her go to the movies with her friends without parental supervision. She decided to stuff her bra with toilet paper before going, but it fell out during the movie,” Jungkook began sniggering, remembering the mortification you felt in that moment, “so she quietly pulled it all out and left it under her chair. OH and she skipped school one time to get a belly button ring that ended up getting infected.”

“OKAY, that’s enough! Jeez.” Hobi stood up from the bed exasperatedly. There was no denying Jungkook knew some pretty weird details about you, but there was only one way to find out if they were real or not. “Come on, dinner’s ready.”

Jungkook followed Hobi back downstairs where everyone awaited at the dinner table. He sat across from the red head, trying his best not to look in your direction even when he could feel your eyes on him. He just wanted to get through this meal as quickly as possible so he could retreat back into his room. It was funny how back then he wanted nothing more than to spend time with you, and now after all this time he wanted nothing more than for you to disappear through the same door you had come from.

“So, Y/N,” Hobi cleared his throat while everyone looked up at him. You looked down the table towards him, startled to hear him calling you so loudly. Jungkook’s head snapped up in his direction, a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach forming quickly, “I feel like I hardly know you. You ever had any pets?”

Everyone turned toward you as you thought for a second. Your voice was small, barely heard above the television that played in the background.

“Umm, no not really. I wasn’t allowed to have any growing up.”

Hobi shot Jungkook a look as the younger boy grimaced, realizing what he was trying to do.

“Okay…ever gotten denied from a sports team?”

The boys made faces at Hobi, wondering why his questions were so oddly specific. Tae shot him a warning glance, turning back to you as you mulled over his question.

“Does cheerleading count?”

Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up, and he turned towards Hobi who had mirrored the same expression.

Taehyung smiled down at you, “Babe, I didn’t know you wanted to be a cheerleader at some point.”

You smiled back at him bashfully, “It was in middle school actually, but I couldn’t do any acrobatics to save my life.” You giggled at memory. What was once painfully humiliating was now a fond memory to you, and it had affected Jungkook in the same way. When he experienced things along with you, he felt them too as if they were happening to him. But your memories aged within him just like his own, he was happy to find.

“Hm. Interesting. Well, as you can see here, we’re big fans of tattoos and piercings. Got any of your own?”

“What the fuck kind of question is that?!” Taehyung growled at the loud mouth redhead sitting a few feet from him. You clutched at your boyfriends’ sleeve, letting him know you didn’t find an issue with his curiosity.

“Well, not really no. I had a belly button piercing once but I took it out. It was way too much work.”

Taehyung turned to you, speaking in a low tone. “Are you serious? Wait that’s actually really hot. Why didn’t you tell me?”

You giggled, getting embarrassed, “I never really told anyone about that actually. It was my way of being a rebel in high school.” Taehyung chuckled at your confession, pulling on your cheek to show you how adorable he thought you were.

Hobi focused on his meal during the remainder of the dinner, a look of torment shone on his face that no one bothered to question him about. Jungkook felt a twinge of guilt, knowing he had put Hobi in a weird predicament by sharing something so inexplicable with him. But what was he supposed to do, risk making both you and he look like adulterers in a single bound?

Jungkook counted the seconds until you would leave, but goddammit, the time just never came. He was finding less and less excuses to slip away and not get to know Tae’s girlfriend, and at the end of the night when everyone was tired and heading to bed, Taehyung had excused you both and gone straight into his bedroom for the night.

Jungkook wasn’t sure why he expected otherwise, knowing how Taehyung operated with women. How could he have expected you two to be celibate? The boy begrudgingly went upstairs and into his bedroom, flinging himself onto his bed. He wasn’t tired in the slightest since he was used to being at work at this time.

He had deliberately not made any plans tonight for the purpose of meeting you, which he was now deeply regretting as he recalled how thin the wall that his bedroom shared with Tae’s was.

Jungkook quickly hopped up and fetched his guitar from its stand, deciding he’d practice his music all night if he had to, though realistically, he knew Tae’s longest time was about 40 minutes, so that wouldn’t be necessary at all.

Jungkook strummed on his strings a few times before remembering to fetch his song book in case he had any ideas for lyrics.

During the brief silence as he walked over to his desk, he heard your distinct giggle from the other side of the wall. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling through flared nostrils before returning to his guitar.

By the time the sun was rising, he had written and rehearsed an entire song. Of course, it was about you. He just couldn’t get you out of his stupid head no matter what he did. You’d ruined him all over again and you’d only been back in his life for less than a day. He decided he’d hate you from now on as he threw on his hoodie to step outside for a morning cigarette.

He’d hate your face, he’d hate your blush, he’d hate your stupid giggle, and he’d hate your nerdy tendencies. There was nothing about you that he’d allow himself to love or even like. That was the only way he was going to make it out of this situation in one piece.

But as he stepped out into the patio and made eye contact with you, all of those declarations melted away. He loved all of those things about you, and he always would, so he tried even harder to push back against the way his inner self wanted nothing more than to hold you in his arms and tell you all the things about him that you’d missed over the past 24 years.

You had snuck out of Tae’s bed for a morning cigarette as well, but you realized you hadn’t brought a lighter with you, so you settled for taking in some cool fresh air. When Jungkook came out to join you, you offered him a warm smile, remembering how nice he had been to you the night before, so it was a shock to see the way his eyes and his jaw hardened under your gaze. He seemed to have grown an aversion to you, or were you just unaware at how generally disliked you were around here?

Jungkook let the door close behind him with a bang as he took his cigarette off of his ear and popped it into his mouth. He fished the lighter from his pants and began trying to light it as you popped your own cigarette into your mouth.

You watched as he lit his cigarette and inhaled greedily before exhaling tiredly into the cool morning air.

“Umm,” You looked up at the boy who was busy pretending you weren’t there. He stiffened at the sound of your voice before hesitantly looking over to you. His eyes widened at the sight of the cigarette in your mouth. “Can I borrow your lighter?”

Jungkook furrowed his brow, yanking the cigarette from in between your lips quickly.

“Y/N what are you doing!? You don’t smoke!”

You were shocked at the way he felt comfortable enough to do such a thing, even speaking to you as if he knew you. You stared at each other, the moment tense with many things unsaid. Suddenly, he realized his mistake, looking away from you to compose himself. Of course, you didn’t know how well he knew you. You’d always found these things disgusting. What changed?

Jungkook decided it would be best to just play this whole thing off as a joke, but when he extended the cigarette back out to you, he felt conflicted with himself. As much of hypocrite that he was being in this moment, he didn’t want to encourage your newfound habit, so he chucked the cigarette into the grass just before you could wrap your fingers around it.

You stared open mouthed as you watched the stick land on the dirt. There was no way you wanted to put your mouth on it now. Your eyes watered, looking back up at the boy who was being inexplicably mean to you. Between the odd stares and the whispering last night, and now this, you had just about had enough.

“What the hell did I do to you!? To any of you?! You’re all so…” You struggled to find the words to say, then realized it probably wasn’t smart to blow up on Tae’s best friend right after meeting him. So you groaned and turned away, marching back upstairs to your boyfriend’s room before you embarrassed yourself by crying from being overwhelmed in front of Jungkook.

Jungkook sighed once he heard the door to Tae’s room close. He continued sucking on the cigarette, mentally scolding himself for not handling the situation better. Part of him was thundering, angry that he hadn’t done everything he could to keep you there with him as long as he could. He knew he couldn’t listen to that part of himself though, not if he didn’t want to cross any lines he couldn’t come back from.

Jungkook stomped the flame out of his cigarette before going back upstairs and finally submitting to his exhaustion. But just as he nodded off to sleep, he realized he was still awake. Or was he?

He was looking up at the ceiling for a while, until he realized it wasn’t his ceiling, it was Tae’s ceiling, and you were the one looking at it.

He felt a thrill running through him. He hadn’t dreamed of you in years, and it still felt as natural to him as if he’d never stopped.

You were lying next to Tae as he slept, trying to calm yourself down so that you could go back to sleep peacefully. You were fuming, playing the events of this morning over and over in your head. It felt surreal for Jungkook to see himself as a guest star in his dreams of you. For so long, the dreams felt like something so detached from himself, as abstract as the very concept itself.

Although you were seeing him in a negative light, he was still beside himself that for the first time, he wasn’t the only one thinking of you. You were finally thinking of him too.

It was better this way, for you to hate him instead of feel for him the complicated feelings he felt for you. He watched as you drifted off to sleep, and so his dream went dark for the remainder of his sleep, not that he minded anyway.

Three loud and decided consecutive knocks interrupted the quietness of Jungkook’s bedroom. It was late in the evening and Jungkook was busy styling his hair before heading off to work. Normally he’d be annoyed by the intrusion, but he recognized those knocks by now. Tae’s knuckles hitting solid wood always sounded like bullets.

Jungkook sauntered over to the door and opened it before heading back to the mirror. He didn’t bother asking his best friend what was up or even making eye contact with him, he knew if Tae ever had something to say he’d just say it.

“Getting ready for work?” Jungkook grunted in response, putting his comb down and picking up his hair spray. “Alright, well I won’t hold you up then. I just wanted to ask you personally about what happened the other day. Y/N said you were really mean to her…”

Taehyung observed his friend closely for a response. He had been surprised to hear you two hadn’t actually gotten along since he was under the impression that you two had hit it off quite well. Surely it was a misunderstanding?

Jungkook struggled to conceal his smirk. Nerd’s still a tattle tale I see.

“Oh, really? I didn’t think I was being mean at all.” Jungkook looked over at Taehyung innocently.

The older boy sighed in frustration. “Okay well, whatever the case, can you please just fix it?”

Jungkook quirked a brow. “Why do you care so much?”

“Please, dude! C’mon do this for me! I really need her to be comfortable coming over! She doesn’t like fucking at her place with all her roommates around and I really need to get laid.”

Jungkook snorted and turned back to the mirror. He didn’t see how that was his problem in the slightest. In fact, he should be the last person on this earth to worry about it.

“Jungkook c’mon!”

The younger boy audibly groaned, quickly becoming tired of this conversation.

“What do you want me to do if she doesn’t like me!?”

“I don’t know man, show her your nice side? Say something nice to her? Spend a little time together? Fuck if I know what girls need in this situation…” Jungkook grimaced. He didn’t like the sound of having to spend quality time with you one bit. “C’mon dude, you used to be my trusty wingman. Do this for me!”

Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the buzzing in his veins.

“Okay, fine! Fuck!”

Taehyung’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. He knew he could count on his best friend to get him laid.

“Alright, I’m outta here. Thanks dude, seriously!”

Jungkook grunted his response as Tae flew down the stairs and out of sight. He let out a long sigh as he collected his belongings. He already knew this would be a long night now that he was already thinking about you. Normally he’d stave off any thoughts that had to do with you as long as possible. Taehyung that dickhead.

Jungkook’s train ride to work was quick as usual. The cars were always stuffed with people at the hour that he’d always go in, but luckily, he didn’t have to put up with it for too long. He was already quite used to his work routine by now.

He’d start by letting himself in through the club’s side door. He’d greet the owner who was always inside doing paperwork before the rest got in. The guys from security were always there too, helping set up the floor.

When Jungkook first started working there, he always kept his head down and did his job to the best of his ability. Nothing much had changed throughout the years, except that now he knew people’s names and had even made a friend or two.

Once he’d make his way to the bar, Jungkook liked to start off by making sure all of the glasses and shakers were cleaned and properly stocked. Then he’d fill his ice and get the juices, sodas and fruits he needed to make his drinks. By then, the club would be opening and quickly filling. His barback would also show up to help him out. He was a good kid, reminded Jungkook of himself a lot when he was his age. Jungkook never bothered asking him how he found himself in this city working at this club, but he had a feeling it was for a similar reasons as Jungkook’s.

On the weekends though, his coworker Lisa would show up a few hours into his shift to help him serve the massive volume of people in need of inebriation. He didn’t mind her company so much these days, now that she’d finally gotten the point that he didn’t want to sleep with her.

On this day, however, he was most grateful to see her bouncing bob making its way to him behind the bar. It was only a Friday, but it must’ve been the start to some kind of holiday weekend with the way people were hoarding the bar like an army of zombies.

“Hey Kookie!” Lisa ruffled the boy’s curls as she passed him by from behind.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?” Jungkook filled four gin and tonics while grumbling at his coworker.

“Oh, I’m sorry Kookie. What would you prefer?” The girl purred innocently, loving the way it was so easy to fluster this man twice her size.

“Just Jungkook.” He stated monotonously as he pushed out the four drinks then got a couple beers from the minifridge under the counter.

“Hmm…nah. Too long!” She giggled at her own mischievousness while Jungkook could only groan. Unfortunately, the barback happened to come up with the ice refill they needed in that moment and was now on the receiving end of Jungkook’s pent up frustration.

“I asked for this shit ages ago, where have you been?!”

The boy flinched at the tone in Jungkook’s voice. He only stared wide-eyed, unable to defend himself. He had lost track of time after checking his phone once he got to the ice machine.

Lisa took the bucket from the boy and gave him an apologetic smile. He scurried off to the back to get the fruit Jungkook had also asked him for ages ago.

“Be easier on him or else he’ll quit. We can’t operate without a barback.”

Lisa took care of the next few drinks while Jungkook wiped the wet counter. The customers were getting drunker by the hour and consequently, sloppier.

“We can’t operate with a shitty barback either. He’s gotta learn. This is how I learned.”

Lisa rolled her eyes, knowing Jungkook meant well. He just didn’t understand what a brute he could be sometimes. She wished it hadn’t turned her on as much as it did.

The next hour went by as usual. Lisa and Jungkook had already developed a smooth flow of working together, finishing drinks for each other, picking up the slack whenever one of them was flirting for a good tip, even picking up the slack whenever one of them got a little too tipsy after taking shots with insistent customers.

Tonight, however, was different. Jungkook was distracted. He couldn’t stop looking at you and therefore was constantly messing up.

Your coworkers decided to drag you to a hot nightclub in Hongdae tonight to celebrate one of them finally getting engaged. Nightclubs weren’t exactly your scene, but you didn’t want to spoil the infectious mood or offend them by declining to go. It had taken a long time for them to warm up to you as a foreigner, so you didn’t want to do anything that might put them off. It’s not that you were against the drinking and the dancing and the partying per se, you loved having a good time. But sometimes you’d get in your own head and worry about coming off as awkward. You also weren’t a good dancer.

Nonetheless, you found yourself at the crowded venue with the girls close to midnight, swaying to the music and sucking on a sweet vodka cranberry.

Jungkook had spotted you as soon as you came in. He’d felt a tingling sensation that wouldn’t leave him, until he served a customer that was facing the door. His eyes snapped to your figure receding into the crowd that surrounded the bar. With his eyes trained on you like a hawk, he quickly gathered you were there with a group of women whom had reserved a table last minute. It was hard for him to keep track of you unless he went out of his way to peer over the heads crowding the bar, so he tried not to care at all, which resulted in him distractedly making drinks wrong and ultimately knocking over a glass.

Lisa casted worried glances at her coworker who was normally such an expert. When the glass smashed against the floor, she considered it to be the last straw. Jungkook rolled up his sleeves, exposing the tattoos that decorated both of his arms before squatting down to pick up the mess he had made. She placed a hand firmly on his shoulder, causing him to flinch as he looked up at her.

“Go take 5. I’ll clean up. I don’t know what’s wrong with you today but go get yourself together.”

Jungkook pursed his lips and nodded before heading out of the club through the back. He left the door ajar so as not to lock himself out and as soon as the cool air hit his hot cheeks, he visibly relaxed. He hated being a liability at work. The fact that you were the reason that he was being so clumsy and sloppy was doubly annoying.

Jungkook fished for his lighter and his pack of cigarettes in his pants. He found the former but not the latter, realizing he forgot them at home on his nightstand, another result of his head being so occupied. He sighed in frustration, leaning against the brick wall and tugging at his roots with his fingers. What is she even doing here of all places? Did Tae put her up to this? This wasn’t what he meant when he agreed to spending time with you.

Suddenly a sharp cry pierced his muddled thoughts. His head snapped towards the end of the alley where a woman and a man were huddled together. He squinted his eyes and listened closely, realizing that the situation looked hostile.

The drunken man’s hand was gripping the woman’s arm roughly and tugging her towards him while she struggled to get out of his embrace.

“I SAID NO!” With one final tug, the girl ripped her arm out of the man’s grasp, only for him to lunge at her phone that was in her other hand.

Jungkook hadn’t realized when his feet started moving. All he knew was that the voice belonged to you and that you were in trouble.

His hand pushed the man roughly, causing the older guy to stumble backwards. He had successfully gotten your phone out of your hand, so Jungkook reached for it and snatched it back. The man looked at him furiously.

“Who the hell are you!? Mind your own business man!”

“Get the fuck out of here before I get security.” Jungkook’s voice was low and calm, more of a threat than screaming would ever prove. The man took one look at you and Jungkook before sucking his teeth and walking off.

Jungkook watched him for a while until he disappeared into another bar up the block then turned to you.

You were shaking, hiding behind Jungkook a bit.

He instantly took pity on you, handing you your phone back and subtly turning the corners of his mouth upward.

“You okay?”

You looked up at him and nodded weakly, taking your phone back sullenly.

“…Yeah. I just came out here to call Tae and this creep followed me! God, I don’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t here…what are you doing here, by the way?”

“I work here. Bartender.”

A look of recognition flashed across your eyes before you smiled down at your feet. “Ah, the bartender.”

Jungkook quirked a brow, curious about the sudden inflection in your voice. When you saw his eyes regarding you questioningly, you chuckled and blushed.

“No, it’s just that, my friend got us all drinks and she wouldn’t stop talking about the hot bartender.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up and he couldn’t help chuckling himself. He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, looking at anywhere else that wasn’t you.

“Ah…”

Suddenly the smell of smoke wafted in front of Jungkook. He noticed you had lit a cigarette while he wasn’t paying attention.

“You’re not going to rip this one out of my mouth, are you?” You challenged him with a playful look, causing the boy to chuckle again.

“Nah I’m not.” A moment passed as he deliberated on what to do. You clearly had a phone call to make, and his five minutes were just about up. He should go. He should definitely go. “Hey, can I bum one off of you? I left my pack at home.”

“Oh this is actually my last one, but we can share!” You extended the white stick out to him. He hesitated before plucking it from your fingers and taking a long drag.

You both took turns passing it back and forth in silence. Although this moment was innocent, Jungkook knew he was already beginning to overstep the boundaries he had long placed in between you two. His mind screamed for him to go back to work, but his feet just didn’t move.

“So, you told on me to Tae huh?” Jungkook exhaled a clowd of smoke then handed you the cigarette with a cocky smile.

You couldn’t help but smile back, yanking the already shortened stick from his hand.

“I hold no loyalties to you.” You stuck your tongue out at him playfully. You were glad there wasn’t any animosity between you two as you had initially thought. Tae held his friendship to Jungkook near and dear to him, so it wore on you to be on bad terms with someone whom he loved that much.

Jungkook shook his head, refusing to take the cigarette when you attempted to pass it to him. “So why are youhere?”

“Just here with my coworkers. Do I look that out of place?”

Jungkook shook his head quickly, not meaning to offend you.

“No! You look good here! I mean— You…” You giggled at his sputtering, not realizing someone like Jungkook could ever get nervous. He struck you as such a cool guy, maybe a bit of a fuck boy. Suddenly you saw someone peaking their head out of the backdoor and looking in your direction.

“You on break?” You gestured toward your observer.

Jungkook followed your gaze. Lisa must’ve sent the barback for him. He instantly felt a twinge of guilt, leaving her to fend for herself on such a busy night.

“No, actually. I should probably get back.” You nodded and dropped the dead cigarette to the pavement, stomping on it with your heel. As he started walking away, he couldn’t help himself from turning around to look at you one more time. You met his gaze questioningly, so he searched for something cool to say. “Try not to get into any more trouble, I won’t be here to protect you.”

You smiled and rolled your eyes. “No promises.”

“So, uh…guess I’ll see you around.” Jungkook began walking off again before stopping in his tracks at the sound of your voice.

“Well, actually, you’ll see me at home! I was going to go see Tae tonight since your place is close by. Should we…take the train together?”

Jungkook was caught off guard. He hadn’t expected to be spending any more alone time with you. “Well, I close actually…”

“That’s okay! I doubt my friends will let me leave any earlier anyway. Besides Tae hates it when I take public transport alone late at night. Case in point” You gestured to the bar up the block and beamed at him. His heart stuttered a bit.

“Uh…Okay, yeah… sure. Just come see me at the bar if your friends leave.” Jungkook turned swiftly and disappeared back into the club, rushing to join Lisa behind the counter. He couldn’t wipe the goofy smirk from his face, even when Lisa shot him a dirty look for being gone so long. He simply whistled as he got back into the groove of serving the hordes of people throwing their money at them. Lisa wanted to be annoyed with him, but she couldn’t, seeing how much of a good mood he was suddenly in.

Towards the end of the night when a lot of the crowd had thinned out, she turned towards the cheerful boy who was wiping down the counter while whistling.

“Did you get laid out back or something? What’s gotten into you?”

Jungkook shot her a crooked smile, “Nah, just, in a good mood for no reason.”

Lisa pursed her lips in disbelief. From the corner of her eye, she could see a woman making their way to the bar. When she looked over and prepared herself to take her order, she saw how her eyes were trained on Jungkook.

You perched yourself on the barstool directly in front of Jungkook. The last of your coworkers had caught a cab home, leaving you the last one standing. You were pretty tipsy, but nowhere near as drunk as the rest of them had been.

Jungkook’s eyes met yours and he smiled goofily again. “Hey. Friend’s leave?”

“Yep! I’m all yours.”

Jungkook’s neck began heating up at your choice of words, so he decided to busy himself by starting on some of the closing duties.

Lisa looked between you two in curiosity. It was a rare night when Jungkook wasn’t leaving with a girl on his arm by the end of the night, but it was the first time she’d ever seen someone affect him so obviously. She crossed her arms, smiling to herself. Flustered Jungkook was a rare sight to behold.

“Do you two know each other?”

You looked over at the female bartender who was leaning across the counter staring at you.

“Uh, yeah kinda. I’m dating his best friend.”

Lisa’s eyebrows shot up and a slow smile crept across her face. Her eyes landed on Jungkook who was expertly avoiding her accusatory gaze. “Is that so…”

“You good to close up on your own?” Jungkook turned to Lisa who wasn’t too happy about him leaving early, even if she had gotten in after he did. But nonetheless the place was nearly dead, she had no excuse to keep him longer.

“I guess…” The girl pouted as he turned to you and gestured toward the door. You hopped off the stool and turned to Lisa.

“It was nice to meet you…” You waited for her to tell you her name, but she simply turned away and busied herself with cleaning something that was already clean.

Jungkook rolled his eyes at his coworker’s childish behavior as he led you out of the club.

It had gotten much colder than it was before. Jungkook had known it would, since he’s used to leaving work at 4 in the morning. You on the other hand, had not brought a jacket and were shivering already before you two had cleared the first block on the way to the train station.

Jungkook watched you rub the goosebumps on your arms before he shrugged out of his leather jacket and draped it around your shoulders. You were shocked, not expecting him to do such a gentlemanly thing. Jeon Jungkook really knew how to surprise you.

You smiled and stuck your arms through, appreciating how much it was already warming you.

“Her name’s Lisa, by the way.” Jungkook stared straight ahead. You nodded, realizing he noticed the way she ignored you as well.

“Lisa huh…I think she likes you.” You laced your fingers behind your back and looked up at Jungkook teasingly. The boy chuckled as you both descended the stairs into the subway.

“You think so?” He knew you were right; he just hadn’t expected you to catch onto it so quickly.

“Yep! You should ask her out, she’s pretty.”

Jungkook held the door open for you. He smiled and shook his head. “Thanks, but I’m good.”

You hummed, trying to figure out his deal. “Is she not your type?”

“It’s not really that…” Jungkook looked up at the ceiling, not wanting to talk about other women with you.

“Then…”

“I just don’t want to cross that line. She’s my coworker.”

You nodded, able to respect his reasoning. “If you ever do though, we can double date!”

“…I’ll pass.” You couldn’t help but chuckle. He was definitely rough around the edges.

Jungkook checked the schedule for the next train. It was late at night, so the wait was 30 minutes instead of the usual 5-7.

You both waited near the edge of the tracks in silence. You two didn’t know each other that well, or so you thought, so you struggled to find something to talk about. You had only just met him, and so far, the only things you knew about him were that he liked cigarettes, wearing black, that he worked as a bartender and that he played guitar and that he sang. Oh, and that he was quite the womanizer. That last known fact was curtesy of Tae and all of the stories he told you about his fuck boy crusade with his best friend.

Jungkook searched for something to say. In reality, there were a million things he could say to you, but most of them would probably have you accusing him of being some kind of stalker.

“You have a really nice voice by the way.” Your question had caught Jungkook off guard again. He looked at you with his eyebrows furrowed, wondering how the hell you knew he liked to sing. “I heard you that night. You were up late playing your guitar.”

“Ah…sorry if I kept you up…”

“No, it’s fine! It was nice…” After another short pause, you decided to ask something that had always made you curious, “So, how did you and Tae meet?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“Sort of, he just said it was at a party, but I have a feeling there’re more to the story.”

Jungkook recalled that night almost 5 years ago. The truth was that they were both trying to fuck the same girl. They ended up getting competitive with each other, almost fought after a mix up, but the girl ended up leaving with a different guy and made them both feel like dumbasses, so they ended up going to a bar together to drown their sorrows. Although it was the start of a beautiful friendship, he could tell why Tae redacted some details.

“There’s not much to say really. We went to the same party and hit it off.”

You quirked your brow at him, feeling as if he was playing his part as his friend. Nonetheless you accepted the boring story. More silence followed until Jungkook finally thought of something to say.

“So, you and Tae met at school, right?”

“Yep. Graduation.”

“Oh, that’s right, you told me that.”

Man, this is so awkward. Jungkook ran his fingers through his hair while you began walking away. It was clear you had grown bored with the conversation, so you began treating the edge of the platform as a balance beam, holding your arms away from your body for balance.

Jungkook watched you for a bit, becoming worried when he saw the way you swayed a little too much. He caught your arm before you could truly lose your balance, giving you a stern look.

“Jeez, you sure have little regard for your own life.”

You looked up at him sheepishly, “Sorry, I swear I’m not that drunk, it’s just these heels are a bit too big.”

“Why are you even wearing those things? You hate heels.”

You slipped your arm out of his grasp, looking at him in confusion. How the hell does he know that? Did Tae…No, it seems too weird to bring up in conversation.

Shitshitshit. Jungkook had fucked up again. He knew this would happen. He felt entirely too comfortable around you despite being supposed strangers. What could he say to fix this?

Thankfully your tense eye contact was cut off by the train’s horn quickly approaching your platform. It had arrived much earlier than Jungkook expected, and for the first time in years, he thanked the universe for looking out.

You both climbed into the train. It was a lot less crowded than usual, so you both found seats near a window. Of course, you two were no longer talking with the weirdness that now clung to the atmosphere between you two. Jungkook sat with his legs spread eyes wide facing forward and his fingers drumming on his knee as he tried find the right words to say to you.

You sat next to him in deep thought, trying to recall if you had ever even told Tae about your aversion to heels. The whole thing was bizarre, but you weren’t sure you wanted to overthink such an innocent comment. Still, it was a weird assumption for him to make about a girl he didn’t know…

A few minutes into the ride, you had dozed off mid thought. The night had worn on you more than you had thought, causing you to slump against Jungkook’s shoulder. The boy stiffened when he felt your warmth invading his personal space. The goose bumps on his arm subsided as he melted into you involuntarily.

No matter how much he fought you mentally, it was as if his body had a mind of its own, unwilling to accept that you weren’t, in fact, the one for him.

He chewed on his bottom lip absentmindedly. He was tired too, wanting nothing more than to lean his head on you and close his eyes for a minute, just to see what it might feel like to be close to you the way he had wanted to be for so long.

He tried not to move too quickly so as not to wake you when he looked down at you. Your hair was spilling all over the left side of his body and it smelled wonderful. He couldn’t quite place the scent…something fruity?

If life was truly fair, he would’ve been able to drape his arm around you and warm you even further as you snuggled against his side. He would’ve taken you home, not because you were there for another man, but because you wanted to come home with him. He would’ve carried you upstairs and thrown you onto his bed before taking out the years of pent up emotions he had for you out on your body. He would’ve—

Jungkook shook his head in an attempt to clear it, but consequently

woke you up in the process.

You took a deep breath as you opened your eyes and stretched out. You had only fallen asleep for a few minutes, yet it felt like you were knocked out cold. And as soon as you realized you had been drooling on Jungkook, your entire face grew beet red. You sat up straight and looked away, feeling the heat radiating from your face. You couldn’t believe you had been so careless.

“C’mon, it’s our stop.”

Jungkook extended his hand out to you to help you up from the seat in your disoriented state. You hesitated before taking it, and when you did, he quickly pulled you into him and placed an arm around you, looking behind you two multiple times as you made it out of the subterranean area.

“Sorry, those guys back there were being total creeps.” Jungkook let you go and took a few steps away from you once you two made it out into the fresh air again.

You were disoriented to say the least, wondering why your heart had stuttered at being so close to another man. Close to Jungkook, no less. It bothered you to say the least.

For a few minutes, all that could be heard was the clicking of your heels against the pavement as you both walked towards his house. It was only a few blocks from the train stop, so you both didn’t have to deal with the awkward silence for much longer.

As the house came into view, you both spotted Hobi sitting on the steps of the front porch. As soon as Jungkook saw him he stiffened, knowing fully well how something like this might seem now that Hobi was in the loop.

“Hey! Hobi, right?” You walked halfway up the stairs as the redhead smiled weakly at you.

“Yeah. Hey Y/N.” His eyes shifted in between you two suspiciously.

“Is Tae home?”

“Should be.”

You nodded, not knowing what to do with such short responses. You turned toward Jungkook who was at the bottom of the stairs. “Well, thanks for everything tonight. Ah, here you go.” You shrugged out of his jacket and handed it to him. He took it and balled it up under his arm. “Well…goodnight I guess.” You looked in between the boys, feeling some weird tension and unable to help feeling like it was about you.

They both bid you a goodnight in unison and watched you go inside and close the door behind you. Hobi’s accusatory glare landed back on Jungkook, but the boy didn’t have any energy to argue, so he began jogging up the steps. As soon as he got to the top, Hobi caught his wrist.

“Can I talk to you?”

Jungkook licked his lips and sighed, taking a seat next to the older boy. “It’s not what it looks like.”

“When is it ever not what it looks like?” He lowered his voice, speaking more urgently, “Seriously Jungkook, if what you told me is true, you gotta stay away from her man. You’re playing with fire!”

“I’m really trying to hyung. I want to stay away from her but Tae insisted I be nice to her. I don’t know what the fuck to do.”

“Well, be nice from far away!” Hobi snapped at Jungkook in a hushed tone, knowing how easily things could be heard in the quiet of the early hours.

Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh unironically. He couldn’t believe his damn luck. Hobi stood up and stretched out, deciding to go back to bed.

“You coming?”

“Nah, I’m going to stay out here for a while.” Jungkook could only imagine what might be going on in the room right next to his. In any case, he didn’t want to hear a single thing.

Hobi left the boy in silence.

In the next few months that followed the night of clubbing with your friends, something strange started to occur. While Jungkook was gradually starting to have an easier time being around you, quite the opposite was the case for you.

You seemed to have started developing a sort of crush on Jeon Jungkook.

You knew it was harmless. People in committed relationships could have crushes that meant nothing. Still, you waited impatiently for your brain to get over it. But the pesky thing persevered, only seeming to find more reasons to like him every time you went over to hang out.

You found yourself overthinking the looks he threw your way, or the things he said to you in passing, even feeling nervous whenever you two were alone for a while. It was odd, because Jungkook wasn’t your type, yet here you were, finding yourself attracted to him.

You’d never admit this to anyone, since they would automatically think you were losing feelings for Tae, which just wasn’t true. You absolutely adored Tae and were thankful every day that you met him. You couldn’t imagine your life without him now and even looked forward to the day he decided to take your relationship a step further.

But now there were two men occupying your thoughts throughout the day, and it was disorienting, to say the least.

You couldn’t quite put your finger on this thing you had with Jungkook, however. You two seemed to get along so naturally. He was somehow able to finish your sentences without you two knowing each other for long. He was also unnaturally protective over you, but you didn’t mind at all.

And as Christmas approached, you found yourself wanting to text Jungkook to help you shop for Taehyung’s present. You figured if there was anyone in this world that might know Tae better than you did, it was Jungkook. Still, you weren’t sure it was a good idea, so you held off on it until a week before the holiday when you ultimately gave up and sent him a simple “You busy this weekend?” text.

Jungkook hadn’t read it until he awoke for work several hours later, groggily fisting his eyes as he double then triple checked the sender of this ominous text.

You never texted him. And he didn’t remember ever giving you his number.

A slow smile crept across his face. He fell back onto his bed holding his phone up above his face. He wished he hadn’t felt so giddy receiving a text from you, but no one was around to see his reaction, so he allowed himself to be happy briefly in the confines of his bedroom.

He wrote out several texts to you before ultimately deleting them, feeling like they sounded way too eager. He ended up going with a simple “I’m off on Sunday, whatsup?”

You received the message while you were helping yourself to some cup noodles in Tae’s room. You came over to see him, but he still wasn’t home yet, so you decided to wait for him in his room along with the dog that had quickly warmed up to you. You figured Jungkook was awake now since he texted you back, so you quickly made your way next door.

Three soft knocks on Jungkook’s door had him dropping his phone on his face. He winced and plucked the device off, rubbing his forehead as he made his way to the door. The last person he expected to be on the other side was you, clearly shown in the way he froze at the entrance.

Your eyes bulged when you realized Jungkook was wearing a pair of boxer briefs and nothing more. You tried to look away, but you had already seen him head to toe, causing you to blush immensely. He watched your flustered state for a moment before realizing he was almost naked in front of you.

“Shit, sorry.” He walked back into his room and threw on a pair of sweats that were flung on the floor. He wasn’t used to being modest in his own house, there were never girls here unless they had come to get laid by one of them.

“Oh, it’s okay.” You still couldn’t look him in the eye, so you spoke from the hallway. “I just got your text.”

“Oh, yeah whatsup?” Jungkook sat at the edge of his bed, wondering why you refused to come in.

“Well, it’s Christmas in a few days and I still haven’t gotten Tae a present. I was hoping you would come to the mall with me and help me pick something out for him.” Your voice was hopeful, which made it hard for Jungkook to turn you down.

It would be the first time you two hung out alone together since that night you came to the club. He had been doing a lot better these days being around you, making sure not to say anything weird and making sure you two weren’t alone for too long. Sometimes you’d pass each other in the hallway on the way to the bathroom, and he’d be thrown off seeing you in nothing but an oversized t-shirt. But he’d be able to pull himself together, simply because he had to. He was like a robot these days, following a careful script in his head and making sure he was never too close to you. It was causing a strain on him if he was being honest, but his friendship with Tae was worth all of it and more. So he’d endure, so long as you and Tae were happy together.

But hanging out with you alone was risky. He didn’t have a full proof plan on how to survive being alone with you for an extended period of time. His initial reaction was to say no, despite a part of himself desperately wanting to say yes. But as he looked at you from out in the hall, he knew he was doomed. He just couldn’t reject you; it wasn’t in him.

“And you save this for last minute?! The mall’s going to so crowded.”

You pouted and looked down at your feet, expecting to be scolded for being such a procrastinator. Jungkook smiled at your petulant expression. “Fine. But the mall closes early on Sundays so we should go in the afternoon.”

You beamed at him, not expecting him to give in so easily. Jungkook’s heart skipped a beat seeing how happy it made you for him to agree to go.

“Okay, meet me there at 1. I’ll let you get ready for work now.” You skipped down the hall and back into Tae’s room, leaving Jungkook to get ready in an unnaturally happy mood. He wasn’t used to having a pep in his step as he got ready to work a shift, but then again, he wasn’t used to having you in his life.

Sunday came painfully slowly, which made sense because Jungkook was looking forward to it so much. He had thought about it night and day, wondering what to wear, wondering what topics you two could talk about, wondering how much time he had with you.

To be fair, he had also thought about what to get Tae for his birthday as well. It was easy to shop for the rest of the guys, they were simple. But after so many years of friendship and good presents, he just didn’t know what else to get for his best friend at this point. Maybe he’d find a good present while he was out shopping with you.

That did not happen, however.

You two had met up outside of the mall in the afternoon, but as soon as soon as you stepped inside, you quickly saw the pandemonium that awaited. Hordes of people pushed each other every which way as they sped walked to countless stores doing their last minute shopping. A thrill of fear shot through Jungkook. He very vividly remembered the day you discovered you were claustrophobic, and the anxiety you had developed because of it. He didn’t like the idea of you being here whatsoever, but before he could pitch alternative plans, you were pulling him along into the crowd, determined to find a good store.

Jungkook insisted you both stop into a video games store that he quickly spotted, not because he thought Taehyung would want something from in there, but because it would give you time to rest. He could already see the wild look in your eyes and the slight hyperventilation building up inside of you. You were trying to be brave, and he didn’t know how to tell you that you didn’t have to be.

Jungkook slipped out momentarily to get you something from the food court that might help. When he returned, you shook your head and lead him back into the chaos, but you two only made it to the end of the wing before your hands started clamming up. Jungkook noticed the signs right away and tugged you down a hallway with an exit. You burst through the doors, hunching over and taking deep breaths. You wiped your hands on your pants, struggling to breathe. Jungkook pulled out the brown paper bag he had gotten and held it out to you. He crouched down to meet your eyes, watching you as you breathed in and out carefully.

“Count for me.” You nodded and counted backwards from ten, closing your eyes as your heart rate slowly decreased. “You’re okay. Just breathe.”

Once you were calmer, you straightened up and handed Jungkook the bag. “Thanks. I’m sorry—” He held his hand up, not letting you apologize for things out of your control.

You were ashamed. You hadn’t experienced a panic attack in years, so you thought you could handle it, but clearly you were wrong. You were so grateful Jungkook knew exactly what to do, and that he was so patient. It instantly made you more comfortable, which was odd because the idea of telling anyone about our anxiety, even Tae, was ironically enough to make it flare up.

“Should we try a different place? I know some stores not too far from here that might have some cool stuff.”

You nodded, still unable to meet his eyes. And so you two set off to complete your mission for the day.

Jungkook took you to several places, watching you try and haggle down firm prices of expensive products. He hadn’t stopped chuckling since you two got together, finding everything you did absolutely charming. It was only when you two had stopped in a music store so that Jungkook could buy some new guitar picks that you finally realized what to get Tae. You’d watched him play the piano at school enough to know he should have one at home, or at least a keyboard, since you didn’t exactly have piano money at the moment.

And so Jungkook carried the instrument for you as you made your way home, still thinking about what to get for his best friend.

The idea came to him unexpectedly when he watched you try to hail a cab. You were flailing your arms wildly, even suck your leg out on the street like you’d seen in the movies. He felt so light being with you, so whole that it was scary to think himself without you.

And then the words he’d never wanted to admit came to his mind. Damn, I love this girl.

There, he said it. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. As much as he tried to pretend it wasn’t the case, he knew it to be true. Deep down inside, it was the ultimate truth he had tried so desperately to bury beneath layers of misguided hatred. He loved you, he always had, and he always would, and there was no getting rid of it.

It was then, as he felt freer than he had in years, that he realized what he had to do.

“Okay, Okay! Open the next present!” You bounced cheerfully on the rug, unable to hold back your excitement. You absolutely loved Christmas, especially Christmas with Tae. It was his favorite holiday, and subsequently it became your favorite too. His infectious holiday spirit always got to you and everyone else around him. And as you sat in his living room surrounded by all of his friends and a pile of presents, you couldn’t be happier.

Tae chuckled as he ruffled the top of your head. “Okay fine! Bring on more presents!”

You giggled and tugged on the huge box that had been expertly wrapped by yours truly. The boy’s eyes threatened to pop out of his skull. “Holy shit! This big one is for me!?” You nodded enthusiastically.

He impatiently ripped the wrapping paper away and gasped when he saw a corner of the piano exposed. “Babe, you didn’t.”

“I did!” You squealed as he tore the box open, stopping to give you a huge kiss when he saw that you did, in fact, get him a keyboard.

Jungkook looked away but smiled, knowing Taehyung would be happy to receive it as soon as you had picked it out at the music store.

Someone made a sound of disgust at the massive show of PDA, but the lovebirds simply chuckled, too wrapped up in each other to care. When Taehyung finally tore himself away from you, he placed his hands on your shoulders.

“Okay. I’m about to open my last present, and babe, I don’t want you to be offended, but Jungkook always outdoes himself and everyone else every year.”

Jungkook grinned sheepishly, feeling a bit embarrassed at the introduction. His present this year wasn’t exactly over the top. He actually wasn’t sure how Tae would react to it. But nonetheless the boy handed him the simple envelope.

Tae looked at it and then at his friend, wondering what kind of present came in such simple packaging. He didn’t waste time opening it, but when he pulled out the simple piece of paper, he grew even more confused. He looked over at Jungkook for an explanation.

Jungkook cleared his throat, feeling a bit nervous. “It’s a plane ticket to Jeju. I’m moving there once our lease is up and I want you to come visit me when I do.”

Taehyung laughed, looking in between the plane ticket in his hands and Jungkook’s worried expression. “Come on man, stop playing.”

“I’m…not joking Tae.”

Utter silence followed his statement. Hobi was the first to look away, already knowing why Jungkook had decided to do something so rash. The rest of the boys looked in between each other, wondering if Jungkook had told any of them that he was leaving. Then they all looked at Tae, registering the hurt on his face. He couldn’t believe his best friend would make such a drastic decision like that without confiding in him. He had been picking up on Jungkook drifting from him lately, but he thought it might just be in his head. This confirmed that it wasn’t.

You had been shocked too, looking at Jungkook and the hardness in his jaw. He had been decided for some time now. You looked at your boyfriend, worried about how he was going to take this news.

“You’re…leaving?” Teahyung struggled to make sense of it. Jungkook never even talked about Jeju, or wanting to leave Seoul for that matter. It had always been you two against the world, but apparently that wasn’t the case after all.

“Uh…yeah. It’s sort of a last-minute thing…” Jungkook didn’t elaborate any more, not knowing what else to say. He couldn’t exactly say he was leaving because Tae was dating his soulmate.

“Well, thanks, I guess.” Tae got up and marched upstairs without another word. You all looked after him in worry. He definitely had not taken the news well. Jungkook felt dumb for even thinking that he might. He just felt that since Tae had met you, he was plenty happy and occupied these days, and wouldn’t have minded as much that Jungkook was leaving. Boy, was he wrong.

You couldn’t help looking at Jungkook who was now avoiding your gaze. You wanted to ask him where the hell this was all coming from, but your first priority was your boyfriend, so you got up and silently went upstairs to check up on him.

Someone made a whistling sound that caused some chuckling to erupt. These guys couldn’t take anything seriously to save their lives.

The rest of the gift giving session went on smoothly, with everyone choosing to ignore Jungkook’s sudden news.

In fact, the next two weeks had gone on much of the same. No one brought it up or even asked Jungkook about it, especially not Taehyung, which was due to the fact that he was completely ignoring Jungkook.

The curly haired boy had knocked on his door plenty of times since Christmas morning to have the inevitable talk, but Taehyung would either pretend he wasn’t in his room despite the door being locked or simply turn up the music really loudly and pretend he couldn’t hear. Whenever he’d run into Jungkook around the house, he’d simply turn around and walk out of the room.

Jungkook knew he deserved as much, but it was still weighing heavily on him. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Tae, which was the whole reason he was leaving in the first place.

New Years Eve had come around faster than anyone had been prepared for. You all liked to throw huge parties around this time, but it just didn’t feel right to have one this year with all of the tension in the house. Nonetheless, the boys dressed up and invited you to come watch the ball drop on TV.

Jungkook decided to work a shift that night in order to give Tae a chance to enjoy the evening with the rest of their friends. He hated working the holidays, especially since he already killed himself working so many hours regularly. But he sucked it up and went to work anyway, serving all of the lonely people without places to be on a holiday.

A few hours into his shift, he was surprised to see Lisa stopping by. She always had somewhere to be for the holidays, always some crazy rager worthy of legendary stories.

“What are you doing here?” The boy eyed her curiously. She certainly wasn’t dressed for work.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? When I heard you were working today, I had to come by and see for myself. Shouldn’t you be at your house throwing some crazy party I never get invited to?” The girl crossed her arms childishly.

Jungkook gave her a sheepish grin. “Sorry about that. I figured you always had somewhere to be anyway.”

“Well, you’re not wrong.” Lisa smiled as Jungkook rolled his eyes. “Come to my place when you’re done. No one should be alone tonight.” Lisa purred, her eyelids heavy as she attempted to persuade her crush to come to her party.

Jungkook thought carefully. Normally he’d decline right away, not even bothering to think of good excuses these days. But what reason did he have to keep turning her down? She was beautiful, and she wanted his company. He was single and he really didn’t have other plans. Plus, they wouldn’t be coworkers for much longer. Sure, he was in love with another woman, but that didn’t even matter when the woman he loved was unattainable.

The boy shifted on his feet, looking over his shoulder at Lisa’s expectant stare. “You’ve worn me down. Just text me your address.”

Lisa bit her lip, feeling giddy inside but trying hard to seem apathetic. “Okay, yeah. I’ll see you later.” She turned swiftly on her feet and exited the club, rushing home to prepare for a night she hadn’t known would actually come.

Jungkook chuckled. He knew Lisa well and could tell she was overly excited about this. He felt a twinge of guilt, knowing she was way more into him than he was her, but it’s not like he was asking her to be his girlfriend or anything. It was just one night. One much needed night away from Tae’s pointed stares, his friends’ loaded silence and your intoxicating presence lingering everywhere he went.

He focused on getting through the rest of his shift, and by the time he had gotten home, you were all awake playing drinking games in the kitchen. The curly haired brunette had popped his head in to greet you all and the boys cheered to see their favorite bartender was finally home, well, all except for one.

He watched as Tae finished his drink and bid everyone a good night before going upstairs for the night. You followed right behind him, but not before stopping to wish Jungkook a happy new year.

“You as well.” Jungkook smiled at you, unable to hide the sadness in his voice. You look beautiful tonight. I love you.

He watched as you, too, went upstairs and disappeared into Tae’s room. His roommates continued playing beer pong as if nothing had happened. Jungkook watched for a bit, wishing things were different. He had been secretly hoping things might magically be smoothed over by tonight, and that you all would insist on hanging out together. But it seemed he would be going over to Lisa’s anyway.

He bounded up the steps quickly, not wanting to keep his conquest for the night waiting too long. He changed into something a little more festive before he heard those three soft knocks at his door that made his heart stop.

Jungkook checked his appearance again in the mirror before taking a deep breath and opening the door for you.

You smiled tentatively up at him. He was decent this time, you were happy to find.

“Can I come in?”

The question had caught him off guard, but even so, he moved aside and let you in, closing the door behind you.

“What’s up?” Jungkook tried to sound nonchalant, but his tone of voice still went up towards the end of his question.

“Well, I kinda wanted to talk to you.” You looked around his room, taking the setting in for the first time. His room turned out to be exactly as you expected, dark paint on the walls, his guitar on display, clothes strewn all around and band posters on the walls. You smiled at him as you sat on his bed, patting the seat next to you.

Jungkook instantly grew nervous. Normally when a girl sat on his bed and beckoned him over, it was under wildly different circumstances. He gulped, his heart racing as he took hesitant steps towards the bed. He sat down next to you, wiping his hands on his thighs as you turned to him.

“Talk about what?”

“You…and Tae.” Jungkook sighed, not knowing what else to say on the matter. “He’s really broken up about this, even if he’s not showing it. I know we haven’t been friends for long… but you can talk to me. What can I say to get you to stay?” Jungkook shook his head. You were simply trying to be a good girlfriend by getting him to stay, but Jungkook was trying to be a good friend by leaving. “I mean…Tae said you never do anything drastic without talking to him first. And he told me he felt like you two had been drifting apart for a while. Did something happen?”

Jungkook balled his fists at his knees. “Yes, and no. There’s nothing to say Y/N. I’m just leaving, and it’s final. I’ve been trying to find a way to apologize to him for springing this on him at Christmas, but he won’t let me. I don’t know what else to do.”

“…You can stay.” You smiled at him, but it only served to frustrate the boy more. You just didn’t understand, and you weren’t sure why he wasn’t allowing you to understand. “Jungkook, surely there has to be some reason that—“

Suddenly his lips were on yours, urgent and unrelenting. He effectively cut your sentence off when he leaned in and kissed you unexpectedly. He hadn’t planned it, it just happened in the moment. He also couldn’t think of a better way to convey how much of a problem it would be if he chose to stay, and rightfully so, he managed to alarm you as you shoved him off of you.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU—” His lips were on yours again, but this time, you didn’t have the restraint to fight him. You kissed him back hungrily. A million emotions coursed in between you both, lust, fear, happiness and pain amongst the more prominent ones.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him onto you greedy for more. His lips were like a wildfire igniting your body, molding perfectly into yours as you gasped for air. His hands on your body were hot, too hot against the goosebumps growing on your skin.

Your fingers found their way into his hair and tugged on the strands roughly as he bit your lip. He growled into the kiss, savoring how sweet you tasted. He was going out of his mind with his senses on overload. He felt nothing but you and smelled nothing but your perfume as he leaned into you, pulling your body against his. He also saw nothing but you and him together, living happily as destiny might have it. His tongue slipped into your mouth which you readily accepted, swirling yours around his as you traded saliva.

Jungkook had imagined this moment a million times, but never under these circumstances. He was finally getting what he wanted, but not in the right way, and because of that, he broke away from you, panting as you stared into each other’s eyes for an uninterrupted minute. His gaze on you loving while yours reflected nothing but wonderment.

You weren’t sure what the hell you were doing, you hadn’t yet asked yourself that, because you couldn’t answer your initial question when he first kissed you. Why did this feel so…right?

“That’s why I have to go.”

Jungkook sighed as you stared back at him dumbfoundedly. You reached your hand up to your lips that were still tingling, unable to believe what had just happened.

Jungkook expected you to leave, he expected you to be upset, but when you hadn’t budged, he felt himself slowly losing even more control than he already had tonight. He had to get you to go, before he did something else he’d be ashamed of.

“So, if that’s all, I have somewhere to be.” He looked away, hoping you got the hint.

You were caught off guard. Jungkook was so hot and cold that it left your head spinning sometimes. Nonetheless you tried to push through and get the answers you had come looking for.

“Jungkook… you don’t have to go. At least not tonight. Stay, we can—”

“No, I do have to go. Lisa’s waiting for me, so…”

You furrowed your eyebrows, looking at the boy who had now stood up and picked up his watch from his nightstand. Was he seriously thinking of other women while implying that he had to move because he had feelings for you?

You stood up, looking at the boy’s back incredulously. “So, you expect me to believe you have feelings for me while you’re running off to go sleep with someone else?”

“Weren’t you just warming Tae’s bed before you came to my room?”

Your eyes watered at the implication of his words. How dare he insinuate…

You turned on your heel and marched out of his room, unwilling to let him see you cry. Jungkook felt awful about what he just said and did, but he had no choice. Maybe now you would stay away from him and make his last few moments here as peaceful as possible.

Jungkook finished getting ready and left shortly afterward. He spent the night in Lisa’s bed as he intended to, and almost every other night afterward for the next two weeks.

You hated him. You hated him so much you could cry again just thinking about him.

You hated his floofy hair and his dingly earrings and his carefree smile. You hated the way he scrunched his nose whenever he didn’t like something, you hated the tight shirts he always wore. You hated the way his lips were so soft but his body was so hard, you hated how he kissed you and made you feel things that were confusing.

You prided yourself on having a simple life. You went to school and graduated on time, you had a long-term relationship that was precious to you, you even found a job that you liked and friends that you loved. And then there was Jungkook, an unsightly blotch in the mural of your life. You absolutely hated him.

Which was the reason why (you convinced yourself) you were standing outside of his bar on a Tuesday evening. The kiss had now happened months ago, but you were only now able to summon the courage to confront him with all of the things you wanted to say to him.

You had been avoiding him at all costs, holing yourself up in Tae’s room or just not coming over at all. But even when you were over, his room was always empty. You surmised he was back to his fuck boy behavior. It was all the same to you, at least he wasn’t in your hair anymore.

But now, you wanted to see him. You needed him to know that his kiss meant nothing to you and that he was an asshole for insinuating you were being a slut.

You also knew that this was his last day at work because he was leaving tomorrow, so it was now or never.

You sighed as you pushed open the doors of the club. Immediately upon entering, the smell of cigarettes overwhelmed you. There were very few people here, yet the lights still strobed, and the music still blared, albeit at a more respectable volume.

Your eyes found the bar immediately along with the tall brunette chucking playing cards into a glass cup. You clutched your purse straps and marched over to him, a look of determination in your eyes.

Jungkook’s eyes flew over to you as he got prepared to take your order, but quickly realized you weren’t a customer after all. He gulped, seeing the ferociousness in your demeanor.

“Hello JUNGKOOK.”

“Uh, hi.”

“I won’t be staying long. I just came here to say that…that our,” You looked around and lowered your voice, causing Jungkook’s lips to curl, “kiss, meant nothing. It was meaningless and it should’ve never happened. And, And you’re such an asshole because—”

“I know. I’m sorry.” You were caught off guard, losing track of your speech already. “I should’ve never kissed you and I should’ve never said what I said. It was unwarranted. And of course, the kiss meant nothing.”

You huffed, not sure about how to continue. You were expecting a fight. “Well, I just want you to know that I love Taehyung with all my heart—”

“I never doubted that for a second.”

You rolled your tongue around on the inside of your cheek. “Are you going to let me be mad here for a second!?” This time Jungkook smiled involuntarily. You were even adorable when you were pissed.

You sighed heavily, throwing your hands up in the air. “Well, I guess that’s all I came here to say, so…”

“Sit down. What are you having?”

You looked at Jungkook for a second and then the stool in front of him, wondering if you should stay. “I said I wasn’t going to stay long…”

“Do you have plans?”

“No…”

“Then sit. Drink with me.” Jungkook flashed you an infectious crooked smile and you couldn’t believe yourself as you put your purse down on the counter and plopped down in front of him. There was no use in being angry at him anymore now that you were both on the same page.

Jungkook poured two shots of tequila and plucked two limes from the jar of fruit. He placed one of each in front of you and lifted his own glass in front. You clinked your shot with his and threw the alcohol into the back of your throat, feeling the warm sting as it made its way down. With panicked dexterity, you quickly chomped down on the lime to get rid of the horrid aftertaste.

Jungkook scrunched his nose and shook his head. He wasn’t sure Tequila would be his thing, but it was his last day here, may as well drink the expensive stuff.

Suddenly one shot turned into two, which turned into four, which is when you found yourself trying your hand at shooting his cards.

You were absolutely drunk since you had skipped lunch at work. Jungkook had a higher tolerance, but he still had a mean buzz. He was having the time of his life watching you react every time your car didn’t fall into the cup. You were so dramatic, and he loved it.

“You have to flick your wrist. Flick your wrist!” Jungkook was demonstrating as you continued to miss.

“It’s not working! You’re an awful teacher!”

“Are you sure you’re not an awful student?”

“Both could be true at the same time.”

“I suppose, but that statement overlooks a key detail in this scenario.”

“Which is…?

“That I’m AWESOME!” Jungkook tossed a card at the cup that epically bounced off the rim and onto the floor. “NOOOOO! That was supposed to be my moment!!”

“You’re such a failure. So embarrassing. It’s a good thing you’re leaving town, can’t show your face around here after that disgrace.”

Jungkook laughed and flashed you the finger as he bent down to pick up all the cards from the floor. You hiccupped as you spun around in your chair, easily entertaining yourself when the world started to go fuzzy. You stopped to watch him shuffle the deck, feeling content as your body buzzed with a warm tingly feeling.

“So let me ask you something…”

“Shoot.”

“Why did you kiss me?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

Jungkook smiled down at his hands. “Because you’re my soulmate.”

You failed to stifle a laugh and so did Jungkook. He realized how ridiculous he must sound to you right now, but he figured why not throw caution to the wind. You probably wouldn’t remember anything he said to you by tomorrow.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because I’ve been dreaming about you since I was nine.”

Your laughter was loud, too loud, drawing the attention of other people as they shot you rude looks. You snorted, unable to help yourself from laughing even more. Jungkook bit his lip, trying to stop himself from laughing too so that he could get his words out properly.

“Dreams? About me?”  Jungkook nodded, leaning against the counter to meet you eye to eye. “Prove it then.”

“How can I prove it to you?”

“Well,” You tapped your finger against your chin, humoring the boy with the brunette, “if you’ve known about me for the last 15 years, thennnn, how many siblings do I have?”

“Three sisters.”

Damn, that was a good guess. You quirked a brow. “Impressive….thennnn, what was my favorite subject at school?”

“History.”

“Hmm, not so impressive because you might’ve known what my major in college was.”

“Oh, but you didn’t let me finish. History was your favorite because you’re a total dork, but we both know English class was your true favorite because you had a big fat crush on your teacher Mr. Townsend with the dreamy eyes. What was it you liked to call him? Mr. Cutie?”

You laughed again, keeling over the counter and banging your hand on the counter repeatedly. “OH MY GOD I forgot about him!!! He was soooo cute I could die!! Holy shit Jungkook. Did you go to school with me?” You gasped, realizing you’d be a pretty awful person not to recognize Jungkook if he was an old classmate.

The boy simply smiled and shook his head, chuckling at your dazed expression. You were definitely thinking all about Mr. Cutie now. Suddenly his eyes met the approaching figure getting closer and closer. Shit.

“Okay, come on darling. You’ve had a bit too much to drink. Time to go.” The security guard put his hand on your upper back and ushered you off the stool. You stared between him and Jungkook, stumbling a bit when you landed on your feet.

“WHAT!? I’m totally fine. Jungkook tell him!”

Jungkook looked in between you both, biting his lip. You were most definitely not fine. “Just go, but wait for me outside!” You stared at the boy who had run into the back, letting the security guard gently lead you out of the club. That traitor!

Once outside, you began walking up the block hiccupping as you unlocked your phone. For some reason, you remembered that you needed to buy toothpaste. You knew you wouldn’t remember in your inebriated state, so you called yourself and left a voicemail.

“Hey Y/N, it’s you, Y/N. Get toothpaste—”

“Who the hell are you talking to?” Jungkook’s voice came up close behind you, and you panicked and put your phone down, forgetting to end the voicemail.

“No one! Hey, why aren’t you at work?”

“And miss this shit show? I wouldn’t forgive myself.” Jungkook smiled as he looked up at the starry sky. He was filled with an inexplicable peace and he didn’t know why. Was it because he was hanging out with you after months of being apart? Was it because he was buzzed, or because he was finally leaving tomorrow? Or was it because he was finally confessing to you?

You attempted to shove the boy but only managed to stumble again. Jungkook’s arms held you steady instantly, making sure you weren’t going to take a tumble out here for everyone to see. You were much too drunk to take public transport, so he decided to hail a cab instead.

Once the car pulled up to the curb, he held the door open for you as you got in and then followed your lead, giving the cab driver his address.

You turned to face him while smiling lazily. He mirrored your blissful expression, wondering what was going on in your head.

“Tell me more Mr. Wizard.”

Jungkook chuckled. “What do you want to know.”

“I want to know more reasons why you think a girl like me would be your soulmate.”

“I don’t think, I know.” Jungkook paused, wanting to give you a thoughtful answer, even if you were absolutely drunk. “Sometimes I think I know you better than I know myself. I look at you and the life you’ve lived, the things you’ve done for others and the things people should’ve done for you. You make me want to be a better person. The kind of person that would make sure you’d never hurt again.”

Jungkook smiled at you, but you could only look at him pensively. “And…you know all of this because of…your dreams?”

He nodded, his hair and earrings bouncing to and fro. “I think it was the universe’s way of answering a question I had when I was young.”

“Which was?”

“How to know when you’re in love.” Jungkook leaned back against the headrest, looking at you with sadness in his eyes. You leaned in closer to him without realizing, staring into his huge eyes full of so many secrets.

“For someone who’s never even taken a girl out on a date before, you seem awfully sure about this.” The boy smiled, licking his lips as he closed his eyes.

“Gimme a break! It’s not like I didn’t try. That day you came to Seoul with your class, I had been looking forward to it all week. I was so frustrated because I didn’t know where you would be, but I showed up anyway and looked for you, even bought you flowers.” He shook his head at the memory, feeling dumb for teenage Jungkook: the helpless romantic. “Guess I just didn’t want to deal with that disappointment again.”

You looked at Jungkook as the streetlights illuminated his face in iridescence. He looked so sad, and you couldn’t make sense of the words he was saying, but you felt he was speaking to you from the heart. You licked your own lips, only inches away from his face.

His eyes watched you carefully the closer you got. His mouth parted as your nose brushed against his and suddenly, he was whispering against your lips, “Y/N, you should stop. If you continue, I don’t think I’ll have the strength to stop myself this time.”

You swallowed involuntarily, the edges of your lips brushing against his pillowy ones. He was absolutely right, and you were grateful that one of you had the sense to say what needed to be said.

You looked up into his blown-out pupils and imagined what might happened if you simply pressed your lips into his. You saw him taking hold of your face and pressing you against the backseat, curling your leg around his waist as he stuck his tongue into your waiting mouth. You saw yourself loving every bit of the way his hands would grope you, his mouth whispering dirty things against your skin. You’d love it a little too much, but maybe not in the morning when you’d realize what you’d done. So you inched away from him and took a deep clearing breath. Jungkook did the same, looking out of his window for the remainder of the ride home while reminding himself that he was leaving tomorrow, over and over again.

Jungkook hadn’t seen his room this empty in years.

When he first moved into the house, he didn’t have much money to his name, content with sleeping on a tiny air mattress set up in the corner with a lamp and a laptop, both of which were also on the floor. He struggled to remember that overused quote while reminiscing. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

He had already shipped out his belongings prior, even sent you a special package that he should’ve gotten rid of ages ago. His empty room served as a good parallel for how he felt. He was starting anew and felt a little empty inside as he cut off important ties, but the prospect of starting over was all he could put his faith in now.

And now all that was left to take was his packed-up guitar and a duffle bag that sat neatly out of the way as he took a picture to look back on later.

He was wracked with melancholy at his final moments in this house and in his favorite city. He did want to leave and start anew somewhere else, if only for his own peace of mind, but not being able to make things right with his best friend before leaving tainted everything. He never wanted to leave like this.

A few knocks at doorway had Jungkook quickly turning around. Hobi stood at the entrance holding the excited pitbull in his arms. He placed the scrappy dog on its feet and off it went, bounding excitedly into Jungkook’s awaiting arms. His heart hurt as he scratched the backs of its ears. This would be one of the things he missed doing the most.

“So, you’re leaving soon, yeah?”

Jungkook nodded, standing up as Hobi approached him. The redhead took him in for an embrace, patting his back momentarily.

“For the record, I think you’re doing the right thing man.” Jungkook nodded again, trying to make himself believe the words too.

“Hey.” A soft greeting from the doorway startled both Hobi and Jungkook. He knew Tae was home, but he hadn’t expected him to stop by, not with the way he persisted on being mad at him for so long.

“Hey.” Jungkook’s voice was horse. Hobi gave the younger boy a reassuring smile before leaving and giving them some privacy. Tae regarded him warily as he leaned against the door frame, trying to decide if he should enter, and ultimately deciding to do so.

“So, today’s the day huh?”

“Flight leaves in an hour.”

Tae nodded, looking around at the vast empty space. It hurt him to see it so empty for the first time in a long time.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this.” Tae sighed and stuck his hands in his pockets, struggling to meet Jungkook’s eyes.

“I know. It’s just something I have to do.”

Tae nodded, even though he didn’t agree, or understand for that matter. He sniffed, frowning as he made a last-minute decision to blow up on Jungkook after all.

“Fuck you, that’s such bullshit! You never wanted to leave Seoul. And all of a sudden, it’s a done deal. You didn’t even talk to me about it! And you talk to me about everything! What the fuck happened to us? What, I get a girlfriend and all of a sudden I’m not a good enough friend to you?! What the fuck is even waiting for you at Jeju?? Do you even know anyone there?! I’m your best friend and I don’t even know your new address!”

Jungkook winced as Tae’s voice only got higher the longer he went on, but he stood and took the scolding, knowing he deserved every bit of it.

“I’m sorr—”

“And then you have the nerve to tell me on Christmas, as if I’m supposed to be happy that you’re leaving, as if that was supposed to be a gift to me. That was fucked up!”

“I know, I’m sorr—”

“And you didn’t even take the trash out last Thursday even though it was your chore day. GOD YOU’RE UNBELIEVABLE!”

Taehyung huffed, running out of things to complain about. Jungkook’s mouth twitched, wanting so badly not to fuck himself over by laughing at Tae right now. Though, he couldn’t help but notice how similar you and Tae were when you were angry. The ridiculous image of you two fighting was distracting to say the least.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, I know you’re sorry, still doesn’t make this any less shittier.”

“I know.”

“GOD, STOP SAYING YOU KNOW!” Tae slumped down the wall until his butt hit the floor. Jungkook hesitated before going over to sit by him. They both sat in silence for a while, feeling a flurry of emotions. After a while, Jungkook smiled and pointed at a chip in the door frame.

“Remember when Yoongi got so drunk that we had to put him into the shower, but he held onto my door frame so hard while we were dragging him out that he broke it a little?”

Taehyung looked over at the indent and smiled, his shoulders shaking in silent laughter. He nodded, remembering the hectic night. The boys had all been scared of Yoongi after that, knowing he could easily knock them out with that strength of his if they ever pissed him off enough. Tae’s eyes wandered along the room, catching the distinct black mark where the bed used to be.

“Remember when you were really into hookah for a while and that sorority girl you brought over that one time dropped the coal on the floor and didn’t tell you?”

Jungkook laughed, nodding as he remembered how furious he was when he saw the damaged that she had tried to cover up poorly.

“Oh god, remember her weird sister? What was her name again?”

“Floosy Susan?”

“FLOOSY SUSAN! How could I forget! What do you think she’s up to nowadays?”

“Still fisting forties and picking up bikers probably.” Taehyung shivered, remembering the very aggressive way she cornered him in the bathroom once.

Jungkook wiggled his eyebrows at him, recalling the story she had told everyone about what happened that night which turned out not to be true at all. Taehyung chuckled and pushed Jungkook over.

“Man, we used to have so much fun. What happened?”

“I don’t know. Life, I guess. You got castrated and I picked up more hours at work.”

“Fuck you.” Tae chuckled some more, running his fingers through his hair. It was silent for a while as he chose his next few words carefully. “Are you leaving because of me? If it’s something I did—”

“No. It’s not you.” Jungkook sighed, looking at his friend with torture in his eyes. “Tae I— I’m…in love with Y/N.” Taehyung’s eyebrows shot up as he searched Jungkook’s face for any ounce of joking. “I have been for a long time, even before you met her. I thought I could deal with it, but it’s been too hard. So I figured it’d be better if I just removed myself from the equation and started new somewhere else, at least for a while.”

More silence ensued as Taehyung processed what Jungkook was telling him. He was angry at first, his baser instinct telling him to accuse Jungkook of being a shitty friend, which he knew was unreasonable. Then he was sad, realizing how much this made sense when he thought about the last couple months.

“Fuck man…I don’t know what to say. Since before I met her?”

Jungkook nodded, leaning his head on the wall as he silently cursed his own bad luck that Tae had gotten to you first.

“It doesn’t matter how, or when, really. Because I see how good you two are together. I don’t want to ruin that. But it’s too hard for me to stay and…watch her build a life with someone that’s not me.” Jungkook sighed and turned to his friend. “I’m sorry, this must feel really shitty to hear.”

Taehyung shook his head. He was at a loss for words. Out of all the reasons he had conjured up to explain their decline in friendship, this had never crossed his mind.

“Shit, I’m sorry I made you play wingman, practically forced you to spend time together when you didn’t want to.” Tae threw his head back into the wall and squeezed his eyes shut, feeling like an idiot.

“Eh, you didn’t exactly force me. You know I’ll always be your wingman no matter what.” Jungkook held up his fist for Taehyung to bump. His friend smiled weakly before touching his knuckles to Jungkook’s.

Suddenly the blonde sighed, looking at Jungkook with a serious expression. “Do you…want me to step aside?”

Jungkook froze, unable to believe the words that had just come out of Taehyung’s mouth. “Of course, I don’t want you to do that. What the fuck kind of question is that!? You guys are madly in love.”

“Oh thank god. I really did not want to.”

The boys busted out laughing, holding their sides and rolling over on the floor in tears.

“You’re such a piece of shit.” Jungkook could barely get his insult out in between laughs.

Suddenly Jungkook’s phone buzzed, signaling his Uber approaching the house.

“Ah, my ride’s here.” Jungkook stood up and looped his guitar strap over his shoulder. He realized Tae hadn’t heard him, since the boy had stepped out to take a phone call, so he quietly made his way down the stairs after giving his dog a goodbye scratch. He hated elaborate goodbyes anyway. And besides, he knew Tae would definitely use the plane ticket the first chance he got free time off of school and work.

“Hey babe!” Your sing-song voice rang through Taehyung’s receiver, putting a big smile on the boy’s face.

“Hey you. Are you coming over?”

“Yep! I’m about to leave my house right now. Did we need anything else? I already got the noodles and the hoisin.”

“Nah, we should be fine. Just hurry up and get here already, I miss you.”

You smiled cheesily, looking down at your feet as you walked up to your mailbox. You nodded, and realized he couldn’t see you, so you chirped an okay before hanging up.

You had slept all day recovering from your hang over. You couldn’t believe you had gone to Jungkook’s club to argue with him but ended up getting waste instead. You were happy that you were no longer on bad terms with him though, so you supposed it was a good idea in the end. Of course, you didn’t remember much after the first two shots, so you hoped that you didn’t embarrass yourself too much. You wondered if Jungkook would still be home or if he would’ve left already. You were hoping to catch him so you could say a proper goodbye. It would be embarrassing if the last time he saw you was you drunk off your ass.

As you opened up your mailbox, a package addressed to you fell out. You bent down to pick it up, unable to recall if you ordered anything recently. You quickly tore the envelope open and pulled out what looked to be a sketch pad.

You furrowed your eyebrows, double checking the name on the package. It was definitely for you. Hmm.

You began flipping through it. Countless images of a girl of all different ages flashed in between your hands. Upon looking closer, they all seemed to be of you. You recalled the buns, and the uniform, and the sunhat, even the pajamas you had worn for years before they were ripped in too many places.

You gasped, looking over your shoulder. Were you being stalked? This was so creepy you didn’t even know where to begin. You couldn’t tell who sent the package. You were hoping this was a surprise from Tae, so you pulled your phone out to call him back, but a small red bubble signaled that you had an unheard voicemail and it caught your attention.  You didn’t remember missing anyone’s phone call.

Ah, it’s from yourself! You furrowed your eyebrows and hit play, holding your phone up to your ear to see what drunk Y/N might have to say at a time like this.

But the longer you listened, the more you began to understand. Your eyebrows shot up as you dropped your grocery bags onto the pavement, listening to Jungkook spill his heart out to you. Your eyes watered, hearing the longing in his voice. And the things he was saying… your knees threatened to buckle underneath your own weight. You opened the book again, looking at the dates on the corners of the pages. Some drawings were vivid enough to make you recall memories you had long forgotten about. The message ended, so you hit replay, again, and then again.

Suddenly you were quickly scrolling through your apps to call for a ride, praying you would make it to Jungkook in time.

Jungkook spent the 40-minute ride from his old house to Incheon listening to music and thinking about you and his dog. He wondered if he might start dreaming about you again, hoping and praying that he wouldn’t, since it would be counterproductive to him leaving. He needed a clean break.

He also hoped Tae would take his advice about what pet food to buy. Tae had a tendency of spoiling his dog with terrible food choices.

As he exited the vehicle and secured his belongings, he thanked his driver for the ride and headed into the airport that awaited to take him to an island he’d never been to before. He tried to picture himself there already, wondering if he’d fit in well enough and if he’d make any friends right away.

“Jungkook!”

The boy stopped walking and yanked his headphones off of his ears, wondering if he had imagined someone calling his name.

“Jungkook!”

He turned around, only to find you right behind him. His eyes grew wide as he wondered what you were doing here.

“You… you dream about me. No, you’ve been dreaming about me, for a long time. Why didn’t you—”

“Why didn’t I say anything?” Jungkook huffed, looking around incredulously. “C’mon Y/N. Why would I?”

“Jungkook…”

“Save me the pity party. I didn’t tell you all of that so you’d feel bad.”

“No, stop! This isn’t that. You’re just…you’re just leaving! You believe I’m your soulmate, but you won’t even fight for me. God, you make me so mad!” Your eyes grew misty as you balled your fist at your sides.

“Yeah, I know it in my heart that you are, no, in my bones, in my very being. In all that I am, it all just comes down to you. Hell, soulmate might not even cover it Y/N.” Jungkook’s eyes began to water as well and you looked away, a few tears spilling when you blinked. “But Taehyung is just as important to me, if not more. He’s my soulmate too, and I choose him. You should too.”

You wiped at your cheeks hastily, breathing shallowly as you tried not to sob here in the airport in front of all these people. You nodded, trying to put a smile on your face. Of course you’d choose Tae, so why did it feel as though your heart was breaking in two?

Jungkook watched as your face began to break. He crossed the distance in between you, placing his hand behind your head, bringing you into his chest. You let out a few sobs as you clutched onto his shirt. Your entire frame began to shake, so he put his luggage down to hold you in his arms properly. He kissed the top of your head as he tried to focus on not crying too. He knew he wouldn’t be able to leave if he stayed here with you any longer, so he backed away and gave you a weak smile before turning around and blending into the crowd of people heading in to check in.

You cover your face with your hands, willing yourself to stop crying so hard. When you could no longer see the top of Jungkook’s head, you wiped your nose and left just as you came.