#(I know it is also often a lot cheaper especially for big families than other vacation accommodations)

[north-peach]

I moved recently and I was able to get good deals on nice furniture by hitting up places like habitat for humanity. Goodwill will have some small things like end tables and some sofas/chairs, but for large things like dining sets/shelves/desks habitat for humanity and other similar places has much better choices. I got a full wooden dining set (table with extension leaf and six chairs) for $80 which was great when it would have been around $1000+ new. Also, they have things like electronics (stoves, dishwashers, chandeliers, etc) at some locations. I have found the locations located in slightly rural areas tend to have the best pieces (for hardwood, old-fashioned), as well as places near rich areas (variety and modern), and places near retirement communities (durable, well used). It's a little crass but old people have the best furniture and a lot of families don't want to bother transporting it so they donate it. Hitting up estate sales is also a good idea.

You can get a lot of kitchen stuff at places like goodwill. People donate the whole set of grandma's fancy plates all the time. Especially if you go to the less busy (more rural) locations. So whatever bowls/pans/cookware you want might be there. You just have to be ready to put everything in boiling water and really scrub it before using it.

If you need bedding try to find a mattress warehouse (the kind that sells to hotels and places like that) for the best deal. They will often have cheaper options than the big stores. Keep in mind that in some places it is illegal to sell mattresses secondhand for a good reason. I would not recommend buying sheets second-hand. I would instead look at clearance sales from places that sell bedding.

Hope that help. I know figuring all of this out was a nightmare for me. :P

So far, I’ve got a basic kitchen, some random bits of furniture and about three months before i move into my own place.

But will definitely be checking out your recommendations, thanks!

[thestobingirlie]

So much fic seems to miss how different things were in the 80s compared to now (also seem to forget how long ago stranger things is set... like season 1 is set 40 years ago this year.)

One thing I notice it a lot in is the talking about video/ the setting with Steve and Robin working at family video and just how home media worked.

First part of it, you can always tell when someone only grew up with dvd/ bluray/ video on demand. Because VHS did not have home menus, scene selection, or an additional features menu. You put the tape in and the only options were play, pause, fast forward or rewind. And when people write DVD instead of VHS for what family video offer. Like that format did not come out until the mid 90's and didn't overtake VHS until the early-mid 2000's, which lead to the monstrosities that were the combo DVD/VHS player. (I even saw one fic where Steve and Robin had to rewind returned DVD's. That is just not how it works.)

A lot of the time I think people don't understand is how new accessible home video/ home media was. Like when Steve and Robin start at family video, VHS was less than a decade old. Home video that was accessible and available to the masses only really came about with Betamax in 75 and VHS in 76. And because of that it was expensive, which is why rental stores were such a big thing. In the mid 80's a normal single-tape VHS could easily cost $80-$90, which is the equivalent of over $200. When Back To The Future was released on VHS in 86 it cost $80. So when its written that someone (often Eddie) has rented the same movie a few times, and they have Steve or Robin say that it would be cheaper to buy a copy, it just doesn't make sense.

Then its the time between theatrical release and home release. It could easily be a year between theatrical release and VHS release (Using BTTF again, theatrical release date was July 3rd 1985, VHS release was May 22nd 1986. So nearly 11 months.) And film companies didn't just release their entire back catalogue onto VHS right away. They looked at what was in demand. (Disney didn't finish releasing their "classics" onto VHS until well into the 90's). The one I see people getting wrong the most in fic is The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Now I could see Robin and Eddie loving Rocky Horror, but they probably weren't all that aware of it. It was released in 75, but it wasn't available on VHS until 87 in the UK, and 1990 in the US, and it wasn't broadcast on TV until 93. Yes, there were midnight screenings in a lot of cities, but it was rated R, and they just might not have heard of it. (Sorry, but Rocky Horror is my other hyperfixation/ special interest and I could talk about it for hours on end). But, yeah, unless they'd managed to get hold of a bootleg copy, they probably hadn't seen it.

Sorry for the long ask, but this is just something that bugs me a little, because it would take just a few seconds to google it to find out if what they've written actually makes sense with the time it's set.

i read a fic that mentioned they were all watching a dvd and i literally stopped reading the fic. it just totally took me out of it.

obviously if you’re younger you won’t know as much about vhs, but it’s not that hard to find out (also, someone had to rewind dvds??? come on man, never having actually seen a vhs, sure. but have these people never watched a dvd??)

$80? that’s so expensive! i had no idea! i do love how you know so much about this tho lmao

people focus on the rocky horror picture show too much. i think it’s the only queer media they know from around the 80s, and while it’s fun, i really don’t think robin/steve/eddie would’ve known much about it, and if they did watch it, would probably be post st canon.

don’t worry about long asks! small things like that bug me too lol, especially because they’re so small it would take two seconds to look it up! but i guess if you’ve never really experienced 80s shit, you don’t even know you have to look stuff up.

[eckerdmontpellier]

Ever since I was younger, I always wanted to travel to different places, especially Europe. Our family would often take family trips, but always to other US states and closer areas. In 6th grade, when I began taking French courses, I became obsessed with France and even had a surprise birthday party that was France themed. In 2020, I felt like travel was just another thing that COVID had taken from me. When going to Eckerd, I knew that study abroad was highly encouraged and a big part of why I chose to attend Eckerd, but I didn’t really feel like I was going to ever actually study abroad, especially in a country that has a different language spoken. By deciding to come on this trip, I was really stepping out of my comfort zone, but it was an exciting journey.

Throughout my three weeks in France, I learned so much. Not only about the history of France and the French language itself, but how to communicate with people from a different culture, how to get around on public transportation and how to cope with the exhaustion that comes with traveling. Now that the trip has finished, I have been able to reflect on the trip as a whole, and I am going to share a little bit about one big difference that I noticed between the US and France, money!

I want to start this off by saying that I am very grateful that I was even able to attend this trip, and I was willing to spend a lot of money on souvenirs and gifts for family, especially since it is not everyday that you go to France. After being there for a little bit, I was pleasantly surprised to see how different the cost of living is for France compared to America. As most of us know, with inflation and all of the world news, living in America has become very expensive. Whether it is for gas, food or traveling, almost everything has become more expensive. While in France, I noticed that there is a different culture relating to money. We learned from our Eckerd Professors that French people do not often talk about money like we do in America. It is seen as very rude to bring up or mention how much money someone has, or how little money someone has. To even ask what they do or how much they make is also seen as rude. In America, this could also be seen as rude, but it is often a normal topic of conversation for people that know each other.

Now to be a little more specific, the cost of living in France is much different than it is in the US. For certain things, such as hotels, real estate and going out to nicer restaurants, the costs are not too different from America. But for your daily living in France, products are generally a lot cheaper. A few times on this trip, me and Geri went to the supermarket that was close to our apartment to get some snacks and sandwiches for our lunches. We would grab whatever we wanted, without really looking at the cost and go to checkout. Almost every time, our totals came out to less than 10 Euros. If we were to do that in a convenience store or supermarket in America, we would probably be spending closer to $20. Even for wine, the cost was much cheaper. I bought one bottle of wine to bring home from a supermarket for 5 Euros and one from our visit to the winery for 6 Euros. Although we do have some cheap wine in America, wine from wineries is often much more expensive than this. The cost for food was one of the biggest differences there was relating to money on this trip.

Another cultural difference that I experienced was tipping norms. In France, tipping is never required or expected. The only reason you would tip someone is if you were extremely happy with their service, and even then, you would tip them very little, not even close to 20%. This was probably the most shocking and weird thing for us to get used to for the trip. In America, we are so used to tipping service employees, but in France, most employees are paid living wages, so tipping is not necessary. This contributed to the fact that things are cheaper in France. At a restaurant, even though a meal would be similar cost to a meal in America, you would end up paying less because you did not need to tip 20% of your bill. Even for Ubers, tipping was just not normal.

One last aspect of money is school. While on this trip, we heard from other students’ host families that college in France typically costs around 1,000 Euros per year (😮). When sharing with our French teacher, Isabelle, and our host mom, Colette, the cost of our school per year, they were completely shocked. The culture surrounding higher education is so different between America and France. They see higher education as just another part of life and something that should be accessible, while in America, it is so expensive and a much bigger deal to Americans. Considering that our trip to France for three weeks was so much more than it costs for an entire school year in France, it was so shocking to learn about these differences.

Overall, this trip was one of the hardest things I have done, but also one of the most amazing experiences I have had. This trip allowed me to grow a little bit, and made me realize that traveling is very possible and something that I enjoy doing, although next time I would like to do it with my family. Huge thank you to Professor Bastin and Professor Scheu for making this all possible!

-Hannah Towers 💜

[loveanoutcast]

ok but I read games and I am ADDICTED and I just thought I could maybe request something like-

Eren meeting the reader through a simple comment and a timeskip to them being v close until they eventually end up in a fight because reader was ranting to eren about how perfect their crush (who is actually eren) is and him just exploding and them getting into a fight until the reader eventually goes "that person is you, dumbass!" Or smth like that and from there it all just turns into a lot of kisses and smut👀

only if you're comfy/in the mood of writing smth like this tho! just had this random thought last night and thought I'd request a little erenxfembodiedreader

Anyway have a nice day, night, afternoon, morning, you're amazing :D

Oh my gosh, this is my first request ever and I am so incredibly excited to write this and I really hope I did good in writing something you would want. Thank you so much for submitting this request, please feel free to send more! I love writing fanfics of any aot character and will do my absolute best to embody them in these. Sorry for the long wait, when I say the last chapter had me all the way FUCK3D up. EreMika is canon and I haven't been able to stop saying "He loved her, oh my god he loved her" in that "and they were roommates" vine way because that's my coping mechanism and it's cheaper than therapy. Anyway, I give you-

"Assumptions."

Pairing: Eren Yeager x Fem!reader

TW: nsfw, smut, angst, jealously, swearing, yelling, a bit of fluff, unprotected intercourse, breeding kink, a bit of voyeurism, a bit of sexism, eren being denser than a rock, Levi having health issues because he's old

Other: aot world if the mess of season four never happened and eren didn't fall to sad bitch hours, reader is a regular girl with family issues, all characters are over 18, Erwin never died and Floch never went insane

It wasn't that Eren hated going into town, but he wasn't exactly used to going to town alone. He always had Mikasa and Armin flanking either side of him but since the discovery of the world outside the walls and the decreased threat of titans, scouts were needed more than ever in the recovery of the lost districts. Mikasa was the second strongest soldier alive and Armin was expected to take after Erwin. Eren was useful when it came to being the one who possessed the attack and founder titan, but lately there was no big threats that required his titan abilities.

That didn't stop Hange from poking him, nor did it stop Captain Levi from keeping him busy with even the most minimalist of tasks. Today was no different and when the options were given to him and Jean, who was still asleep in his bunker, on shoveling horse shit or going into town to stock up on supplies and check to ensure all market suppliers weren't being capitalist pigs to the local vendors, Eren all but hauled ass through the door, hand swiping the grocery list off the table and yelling, "Good luck Jean-boy!"

Everything seemed to be going just fine, none of the local vendors had any troubles and most seemed happier with the drastic improvements of the living situations for Eldians. The fear of being eaten any day now or losing a loved one to war had seemed to be the driving force that had led to problems before. Some people recognized Eren, but no one seemed to want to approach him. He had had encounters with people who thought of him as a god, but he usually ignored them or kept a level-headed composure. Despite knowing that he had a power no one else had, outside of being a titan-shifter, Eren didn't really know what he had to offer. Armin was smart, Mikasa was strong, and he couldn't exactly claim titan-shifter seeing that Armin was also the colossal and Ymir had been the jaw.

He let out a sigh, kicking a rock in his path and silently yearning for something beyond his knowledge. Despite knowing that he was never really alone, he felt lonely a lot of the time. He had never given much thought to settling down, with the clock running out on him he often thought what was even the point? He wasn't sure if he wanted to keep being a soldier or if he wanted to go back home one day, he didn't really try to dwell on the future, content with being in the present and having Mikasa always on the verge of tears when she was reminded that he would one day die, didn't really give him room to think of much else.

You weren't oblivious to the tales and rumors that went around the town about the scouts and their secret weapon in the form of a shapeshifting man and how him and his comrades were able to plug the hole in the wall of a district your family had come from long ago. Your father had long since escaped the walls of Maria before it fell, he made an honest living being a construction man, and your mother was a nurse who happened to catch his eye when he had a roofing accident. They built a life for themselves within Wall Rose. You weren't the richest family, nor did you have a name that was well known. Nonetheless, you were all hard working. Your brothers worked for the respect they got, one being a weapon maker and the other being a bar keeper was enough for the part of town you were in. Even their wives did well for themselves in being a seamstress and bar waitress. As the youngest, you were loved and cared for. You weren't the most beautiful girl in town, but you turned heads nonetheless, well until one of your brothers decided to glare or promptly hit whoever doted on you too long for their liking.

The people who knew you, thought you were trouble. Mostly the elders spewed of you and your ways of thinking being a disgrace to everything Eldians stood for and bringing only shame to your gender, you were a woman ahead of her time and they couldn't stand it. Like your mother you had entered the medical field, but even when you were small you claimed you would be a doctor one day. You shadowed and worked under the supervision of the town's doctors. Many amused at your antics, some who didn't care about you being a girl and just grateful to leave such responsibility on someone who was genuine in the intent, and others not caring one way or another and not willing to hear your screeching pleads to observe what they did. Your mom had spoken with you more than once about settling with being a doctor's aide, today being no different and you let out a sigh as you looked to your mother's pained expression.

"I just don't understand why you insist on making your life so difficult? It was bad enough when you proudly exclaimed your goals in front of the entire church, but now this?"

You could only look away, looking towards the fields where you saw your third brother grooming the horses. You hadn't said anything bad, you were approached with a job offer that would give you the title and respect you had been desperately craving, and it would bring greater honor to your family...or so you thought before your mother reacted the opposite in which you hoped.

"I will not have any daughter of mine chasing dreams and fantasies off in some other place where no one can protect you. This is a suicide mission and I for one will not stand by and watch you march forward to your downfall."

Your father stood behind your mother, not really saying anything and not even looking at you. You felt especially bad for the commander and captain who stood on either side of you and were bearing witness to the absurd exchange between your family.

"Mrs. Y/L/N, you have to know that if Y/N were to accept this offer, she would never be in the front lines. We have bases located all throughout the walls and she would do what she did best and be our primary doctor." Commander Erwin spoke with such calm words, his demeanor kind and patient.

"So you expect me to let her run off with a bunch of men whose brains are broken from the wars they fought and not worry? She is not even married!"

You grit your teeth so hard upon hearing that, you were sick of the standards put forth on you since your birth. You were sick of the expectations you were in no hurry to reach and you were especially tired of the lack of faith your family had in you to be independent and strong. Your fists clenched and you felt a steady gaze on you.

"I'm not an expert or anything on parenting, nor will I act as if I am, but instead of yelling at her, why don't you try asking your daughter what she wants to do?" You didn't silence the gasp you released, looking at Captain Levi in confusion and admiration.

All eyes turned to you, your mother crossing her arms as if asking you to try and defy her. Erwin looked a bit expectedly and Levi looking indifferent to the entire conversation. It was your father who beat you to it before you could even open your mouth to answer.

"You have a choice, my daughter. If you choose to stay, you'll make your mother and brothers happy. You can continue to help people but you will never be acknowledged as a doctor...but you'll have your family. Or you can choose to leave and live your life to your own accord, but you will lose the respect of the town and your mother will never speak to you again. Are you willing to put yourself above your family?" You expected this from your father, always neutral and never judgmental, what he was saying was true after all. Were you willing to lose your family over your dreams? Would you be able to survive on your own with only the scouts to rely on?

Your head was hurting and your frustration only grew when your brothers decided to come home and after your mother wailing at them about your plans to leave, they were quick to overwhelm you with their own opinions. The commander and captain apologized but they had to leave and return to headquarters.

"Take your time on making your decision. We will come back in a few days for your answer." Commander Erwin told you, giving you a smile as he continued, "I know its a lot to ask you to choose us over your flesh and blood, but if you do. You have my promise that we will protect you, and we may never be able to fully replace your family in your heart, but the scouts will be a family on its own for you."

"Tch," Captain Levi shook his head, "Look brat, you will see and do things that you won't always like. People will die no matter how hard you try to save them, but call Erwin and Hange delusional--they see something in you. Don't walk into this half-assed, if you choose to be our doctor and you choose to take on the title and everything it carries with it, you have to dedicate your heart."

You only nodded. Two days had passed as you walked through the market, the small basket in your hands carried apples and some citrus fruits. Your mother still wasn't talking to you and your brothers seemingly assumed you wouldn't be leaving, only your father knew how frantic your mind was, and one morning he admitted that he would be delighted to have at least one of his children carry the family name on a military standing. So you had his support.

You even spoke to the animal doctor you had been shadowing for the past few weeks, his eyebrows had rose in an impressed matter and he promptly asked when you would be leaving.

"I haven't made a decision, yet." You said.

"You would be an idiot not to take it." Was all he replied before asking you to give the cattle their medicine.

Idiot, huh? You wondered. You knew deep down he was right. Your mind continued to play in endless loops of thought before you heard a commotion to your right. Turning your head you saw a group of men, their huddling seemed a bit more frantic and it was not until one of them yelled that you noticed one man in particular on his knees.

"Help! Someone call a doctor!"

The man on the floor was bleeding rather profusely and you didn't have time to question what happened before you quickly made way.

"Sir, let me see."

"Hey! Woman don't touch him!"

"Make yourself useful and go get a doctor! What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"I am a doctor." You calmly said, inspecting the gash on his side and seeing the edge of what appeared to be a broken pipe sticking out from the building behind them. The drips if bloods glistening in the sun only confirmed what you thought.

"We were-" The injured man rasped out, "Just horsing around."

"It's okay." You reassured, grabbing a roll of gauze and stack of medical napkins you always kept in your basket. You apologized before applying pressure to the wound, and you heard the patter of rushing feet.

"A doctor is on his way! A real one!" One of the men sneered, and you did your best not to roll your eyes and focus on stopping the bleeding. You asked the man to lie on his back and he surprisingly complied, he didn't seem to care about you being a girl and only seemed thankful to not be alone and scared.

"Do you hear that? Move before you kill him!" The first man hollered, the hand on your shoulder causing you to sharply inhale.

"Excuse me for one moment." You told the man, and you were quick as you hand shot up to grip the disrespectful ass by his wrist and twist it in one fluid motion, you wasted no time in using the building wall as leverage, quickly running up and using his weight to stabilize yourself before you roundhouse kicked him so hard it sent both of you flying back. You landed on one foot, balancing yourself before going back to the patient.

You couldn't deny how satisfying it was to hear the impact, or the groan of pain coming from him. Your eyes met the others.

"If any of you touch me, I'll do exactly what I did to your buddy there, but ten times worse. Now shut the hell up and let me save this man."

Eyes widely stared at you as you resumed caring for the injured, a few minutes passed by the time the doctor got there.

"Oh!" His eyebrows rose, "Hello Y/N, didn't expect to see you here. If I would have known, I wouldn't have left the hospital on its own."

"Hi Dr. Goodwin," You looked up, two fingers on the injured man's wrist and the other held up four fingers from your counting. You blushed slightly from his confidence in you and you noticed the men who bullied you all sport faces of confusion.

"His pulse is stable. I wrapped the wound tightly, but he needs stitches."

"Thank you, miss." The injured man grabbed your hand and you smiled in return.

"Don't mention it."

"Actually, it's Dr. Y/L/N." Dr. Goodwin said, seeing your eyes widen and the smile he gave only made your heart swell that much more.

The doctor nodded, thanking you before asking his helpers to load him to the small gurney they brought. He could only thank you briefly before you waved them off. The other guys had stayed back, eyes wide in disbelief that the doctor not only recognized you, but acknowledged your work.

"Are you a nurse or something?"

"Are you morons deaf? Did you not hear Dr. Goodwin? I'm a doctor too."

The leader seemed to recover from the kick you gave him earlier as his lip curled in an ugly matter, "What kind of sick joke is that? No such thing as a woman doctor."

"Obviously there is if I'm standing right in front of you. Or did my kick knock a few more scews loose?"

Eren was walking buy, noticing the commotion from afar and as a soldier, his instincts to provide help in dire situations kicked in. He elbowed his way to the front. Seeing you standing defiantly in front of five tall muscular men. He stepped forward as the main leader got in your face, but when you shifted your foot, he seemed to coil back. Eren noticed a giant welt on one side of his face and wondered how the hell he got such an ugly bruise. It didn't stop their onslaught.

"Who the hell do you think you are? What makes you think you could do whatever the fuck you want?"

"Because in this world, I'm free to do whatever the fuck I please." Eren watched as your eyes narrowed in further defiance, the smile on your face sickeningly sweet and all he could think about was how he had never seen such a woman.

You hadn't even noticed the audience that gathered, you side stepped the group of men, going as far as waving a goodbye with a breathy giggle, you picked up your basket. You had a small hop to your step and despite not caring to even spare a glance to the onlookers, your eyes met a pair of pretty green ones. The prominent bone structure made you think, "Wow."

However, the tall muscular body you did a once over on had you follow that thought with, "Oh damn."

Eren seemed dumbfounded, your obviousness in checking him out made him flush. He had never felt self-conscious over his body. He knew even before he hit puberty that he would do well to grow muscles and abs, the necessary type of figure to have if one were to be a soldier of the scouts. He knew it was also something some females found attractive in the opposite sex but it's not like he ever had time to date much less dwell on what girls liked. Seeing the way you looked at him though, he couldn't deny that he silently hoped for your approval.

When you finally met his eyes once more, you had him floored when he saw you drop a wink at him.

The crowd murmuring as they watched you go made his own eyebrows furrow in confusion. He stepped to one of the members and demanded an explanation.

"Honestly, the little lady was crazy! She came in here claiming to be a doctor and helped patch up a guy who got cut by the pipe over there. Instead of waiting for a real doctor, she made a whole fuss."

"Where's the guy?"

"Dr. Goodwin picked him up. That doctor is mad too, he also said she was a doctor, but that's ridiculous. No woman can be a doctor. That's so many levels of wrong."

Eren felt the urge to punch the man in the mouth, but one glance at the ugly bruise his friend sported reminded him,

"What happened to your face?"

The leader grumbled a bunch of profanities, "That little bitch. I tried to get her off before she messed the guy up anymore and she kicked me."

"In your face?" Eren sounded impressed, and he was when he received a nod of confirmation.

He looked to the direction which you disappeared in and said fine words to the group, "Whether you men like it or not. The world is changing, everyone is free to be who they want. If women can join the military no problem, they can be doctors too."

He saluted before rushing off, not hearing the mutters of annoyance from the men. In all honestly, Eren had no clue on what he was doing.

You were scrubbing off the blood from under your fingernails near a fountain when you hear the shuffle of feet from behind you. You silently hoped it wasn't any of those morons asking for more trouble, but you were pleasantly surprised when your eyes met a pair of green ones from before.

"I'm Eren." You smiled at him, nodding and your smile turned quirked when he stuttered in, "Yeager. Eren Yeager."

Hmm, you had thought, His name suits him. You studied his demeanor, not missing the gear strapped to either sides of his hips or the green hood covering his shoulders. You knew immediately that he was a scout and you wondered if he knew Captain Levi. Before you got the courage to ask him, he beat you to it.

"What did you mean by what you said earlier? Do you really think that? That we're all free to do anything we want here?"

You smiled as you nodded, walking towards a vendors stand and Eren fell into step beside you, you felt nervous around him, but also safe with his company. He watched you as you picked up another apple to inspect.

"We have laws and rules though...so we're not technically all the way free?"

"I'm free to be me, just as you are free to be you...Eren...Yeager."

It was the way the sun hit your face in that moment, highlighting your strong cheekbones and giving a special glint in your eyes that made Eren want to hear your thoughts more. He spent the rest of the day asking you questions, never satisfied with the small responses you gave him and he even walked you home. The mean glare from your mother confused him beyond belief and it was your father's words that made you gasp in surprise that night.

"He's the titan shifter, the one who helped plug up wall Rose."

Your face had turned red in embarrassment, you were talking so casually to a literal titan and you even flirted with him. He even held your basket the entire trip to your house and you didn't even consider how informal you acted with your skirt. You had hitched one of them up your thigh to get better footing and hadn't missed the way Eren blushed at seeing so much skin. You knew the girls in the scouts wore pants, but even then they kept covered.

You were certain Eren wanted nothing else to do with a girl who held little to no morals, but you were caught by pleasant surprise when you saw him with Erwin and Levi the next day in town.

His eyes had immediately found yours and you didn't miss the blush on his cheeks as he gave you a small wave. You couldn't but laugh when Captain Levi suddenly kicked him.

"Who's got you turning red brat?"

"Uh-it's nothing, captain."

He didn't look convinced as you gathered the courage to approach. Erwin acknowledged your presence which Eren was grateful for, but his eyebrows still came down in confusion on how the commander knew your name.

"Y/N!" Erwin gave a polite smile which you returned, "So great to see you. We were actually just about to stop by your house."

"Really? What a coincidence, I was hoping to stop by headquarters today as well." Your smile was bright, and by the way the air around you seemed cheerful, Erwin returned your energy.

"Bearing good news I hope?" He still hesitantly asked.

You nodded as you laughed, "I would love to accept the offer if it still stands."

"Of course it does," Captain Levi scoffed, his arms were folded across his chest. You noted for the first time the soft grey color of his eyes and despite the deep scowl he was currently showing, he had chubby cheeks that made you want to squish, "We wouldn't be coming all this way for nothing."

"I thought we were coming to collect a new scout, Captain Levi." Eren asked, you felt yourself blush in realization that he had no clue it was actually you they were referring to.

"We are," Levi grabbed you by your arm and yanked you towards him as he pointed at you while looking at Eren like he was an idiot, "Meet the scout's new doctor. Dr. Y/L/N meet Eren-"

"Yeager." You finished, smiling towards Eren, "We've met."

Erwin and Levi exchanged looks as they watched you and Eren smiled at each other like a pair of idiots, the realization dawning over them and Erwin couldn't fight the smirk that crossed his face. Small world, he thought.

Six months had passed since the first fateful encounter you had with Eren. You had long since moved out of your home and besides the occasional secret letter from your father, you hadn't heard nor seen the rest of your family since your decision to become a doctor for the scouts.

It was a transition to go through as you lost one family and gained a new one, but everyone was so accepting and welcoming. The girls welcomed you with open arms, most notably was Sasha whose habit of eating everything and anything brought her to the infirmary on more than one occasion, Connie usually followed right behind her with a minor injury resulting from his carelessness. You had met Floch when he brought Jean in from a sparring session gone wrong and he immediately took a liking to you. Your level-headedness was like a breath of fresh air to him as he was constantly sorrounded by people he thought were idiots. Jean liked your confidence (The fact that you were easy on the eyes, didn't hurt either), Mikasa respected the way you didn't hesitate to put people in their place, and Armin admired that despite your obvious toughness, you were a kind and patient doctor who never turned anyone away. You were diligent and hard-working, yet your smile was always able to uplift any sour mood and you always put your best foot forward. The one time he had puked all over your hospital floor from eating too much undercooked meat was embarrassing for him, he thought for sure you were going to be angry and call him an idiot. Instead, you took his temperature, put a cold cloth on his head (despite his titan status guaranteeing a speedy recovery), and started a healthier diet plan for him. Armin was scheduled a weekly checkup with you, partly to ensure he was listening and partly for you to study him a bit more. Your research on the titan's ability to regenerate and recover from even the worst injuries was fascinating for you, you hoped to isolate the genes and figure out a way to maybe trigger it in regular Eldians without setting off the titan ability, the fact that Eren made it a habit to accompany Armin didn't hurt either.

Eren had grown attached to you, whenever he wasn't busy or in need of a place to hide from Captain Levi's wrath or Hange's insistence to poke and prod him, he would be hanging out around you or in your office. At one point you had to hide him under your desk when Commander Erwin stopped by to hold a meeting with you about providing first aid training to the scouts for excursions. You were always welcomed to accompany them outside the walls, but your work was enough to make you stay. You recalled the way Eren was pressed against your legs, the feel of his hands steadying himself on your calves and when your skirt had shifted up when you reached for one of the records, you felt Eren brush his fingertips along the muscle. You had stammered the rest of the meeting through and smacked him afterwards for putting you in such a compromising position. You were blushing furiously at the way he gave such a boyish grin and even that night while he walked you to your small cottage, he had a satisfied smile in place.

You always knew you liked Eren, you were also hopeful that the feeling was mutual. The both of you had grown close over the course of your stay, as the head doctor you were given your own living quarters, not too far from headquarters but not so close to the city that you would be given a hard time. Your cottage was fair in size and with the amount of income you were receiving, you were quick to furnish and decorate it to your liking. Eren had even helped by adding his own touches to the interior. The times you would go to the city with him was always met with many curious stares. Your age and gender made many turn heads when you walked in, the fact that you were the youngest and by far prettiest doctor the scouts had ever had made people naturally gravitate to you. Your ability to make friends quickly also made it that almost every weekend you were entertaining guests at your house. Sometimes it would be dinner with Sasha, Niccolo, and Connie. Other times you would be knitting and embroidering with Mikasa and Armin, there was even game nights with everyone until Jean and Eren became too competitive with one another. Other times when the higher ups had meetings (All of which you had to attend since you technically held an officer position within the military branch) you would offer your house where you all shared cups of tea and your famous baked goods. You had even seen Captain Levi grab seconds on your sugar cookies.

It was the times when Eren would swing by alone that caused your heart to flutter, he would walk you home almost every night now. At first he would find the poorest excuses to see you like needing a bandaid for his wrist from the biting (even though by the time you gave him the gauze it would be healed over completely) or try to "casually" be around the area when you would get out at three in the morning. Eventually your amusement turned to you asking him to walk you home every night under the guise that you were afraid of being targeted or hurt, even though everyone had seen you body-slam Reiner the one time he tried to hit on you when you were stitching up his eyebrow from an ugly gash. Nonetheless, Eren accepted. You would invite him in for tea every time and he would even bring you lunch on days he failed to see you in the cafeteria. It seemed like everyone under the sun knew about you and Eren's crushes on one another, so it was also a pain in the ass that neither of you had yet to make a move on one another. Even Erwin had assumed you two were together the one morning he stopped by your house on your day off to ask for your aid for a soldier who had broken their arm from a training exercise, his eyes had grown wide upon seeing you open the door in only your nightgown, you were rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you invited him in for breakfast.

Upon walking in, he immediately saw Eren exiting your bathroom in his casual jeans, his hair was wet and sticking up from the steam of the shower. Eren wasn't wearing a shirt and before Erwin could excuse himself completely you quickly explained how you hadn't wanted him to walk outside so late so he slept on your couch. You were washing his clothes and had left them out to dry and Erwin could only nod and stop himself from suggesting for Eren to bring spare clothes to yours, remembering that it wasn't his place to push or even encourage his team's doctor and titan-shifter to date even though by the way he saw you put jelly on Eren's toast while he made your cup of tea with three sugars was enough for him to almost just order the two of you to date. Instead, he gave a long rant to Levi, wondering aloud whether Eren was either oblivious to your affections or just an idiot, Levi only replied with, "Did you happen to bring any of the toast she made?"...he did and Levi later on answered, "He's just an idiot." while licking the excess jelly off his fingers.

It was another day at headquarters, the mid-summer day was hot and since the flow of traffic had been slow inside the infirmary, you found yourself mostly in the officer's lounge. You had opted to wear a long sleeve empire waist dress, the top had ruffles along your collar and the soft pink of the dress complimented your skin tone. It fell around mid-thigh and the black shoes you wore with them completed your overall look. Eren had stared at your bare legs for a while until he noted your haircut. You had only cut off the ends but your heart did a flip as you blushed from him noticing. You had been chatting with Hange about your research while Moblit spoke to Eren about the new set of routes to be taken during their next trip beyond the walls when Captain Levi walked in. Hange waved him over and he fell easily beside you.

"Hey." His arm brushing against yours and you hummed in response, leaning a bit towards him which didn't go unnoticed by Eren.

"Levi, did you take your medicine this morning?" About two weeks ago you had caught the captain asleep at his desk for the fourth time. You knew he overworked himself and refused to sleep in his bed no matter how many therapeutic pillows you got him, but while he was out like a light you decided to check his blood pressure, only to find it alarmingly high. You figured the amount of stress and cups of caffeinated tea were to blame. Levi kept in good shape, but considering his age and the fact that he never even considers laughing, you prescribed him medications to be take every morning and cut him off from his usual tea leaves. The former was easier to push as the calcium and magnesium capsules were easy to swallow, it was getting rid of all the tins in his desk that made him a bit unbearable to the new recruits.

He let out an annoyed grunt as he nodded. Your smile was soft as you put an encouraging hand on his arm and Eren was officially not listening to Moblit anymore.

"Thanks for sticking to your diet, Captain Levi. As a token of my appreciation, I got you these." You didn't let him reply, quick to act as always as you reached into the small basket you had brought and grabbed his hand to put the gray tin of loose leaves that you took out in his palm.

As usual, the captain was unfazed by your lack of appreciation for personal space. The past few weeks had done well to teach him how despite being yelled at, threatened, and even outright ignored at times, your cheeriness was impossible to diminish and you did whatever the heck you wanted even when it was at times impulsive.

"What is it?" He looked between you and the tin, the slight sneer on his upper lip making you release a giggle before you tapped the bow you tied on it.

"It's tea leaves." He raised a slim eyebrow which made you roll your eyes, "Decaffeinated tea."

"Let me guess, it tastes like shit." His eyes flickered to the purple bow, "Or it'll make me shit."

You laughed, you upper body leaning on his as you attempted to catch your breath. The joke wasn't that funny but the face he made was. You giggled as you shook your head and Hange watched in bemusement as you elaborated,

"It's the tea I always serve and judging by the three cups you had last time, I'm positive you'll like it."

Levi let out a nod, he hadn't even noticed that the tea you served had no caffeine but the heavy notes of honey in it probably explained its sweetness. He gave a quiet thank you before his scowl returned,

"So that's why I was on the crapper all night after the last meeting."

"With a potty mouth like that, it's not wonder you don't have a girlfriend." You deadpanned.

"I feel bad for the poor bastard who falls in love with you."

You let out a small tsk, smiling at him and hoping Eren heard as you said, "Well that depends if he admits he feels the same way."

Captain Levi quirked an eyebrow at you, his eyes knowing and you blushed under his stare. Your fingers fiddling behind your back and Eren hated the way Levi suddenly chuckled at you. His smile was a rarity and to have him giving it to you only meant one thing to Eren; the captain liked you.

"So there is someone you like? Who's the poor brat?"

When you were about to make another snide remark, Hange cut in and excused herself and Moblit.

"As fascinating as this is, there's a captured titan waiting my arrival and if I don't get to use this research Dr. Y/L/N just gave me before nightfall, I will lose my mind."

"I hadn't heard of us ever finding it to begin with." Levi sighed, taking a lock of your hair between his fingers and letting the curl bounce back before he excused himself to tag along with them.

"Someone's got to make sure four eyes doesn't get killed."

"That's why Moblit is going with her." You noted.

"And who do you think will make sure Moblit doesn't get killed?" He smiled once more, "Laters doc."

You waved goodbye to the three, the door clicking behind them and you turned to see Eren with his arms crossed. He was pouting like a child and you wondered what his deal was. You figured with your earlier comment, he would be over the moon to hear you hinting at liking him. You skipped up to him, getting on the tips of your toes as you poked his cheek.

"What's the matter? You look like a scolded child."

"Nothing." He muttered, looking away as his jaw clenched and you only poked him once more.

"Liar." You called him out, "Talk to me."

"You didn't answer Captain Levi's question."

You were sure that there was a giant question mark on top of your head, the gear in your mind shifting as you tried to recall what the captain asked before your mouth opened in realization. You couldn't help but smile as you looked down at Eren's shoes and he only seemed to grow angrier as he watched you blush.

"About my crush? Oh! Well I wouldn't call him a brat, but I guess his attitude could often warrant that title. He's got this sort of this determined mentality that I guess some people can find...overbearing." You played with the cuff of your dress, "But I personally find it charming."

"So he's charming?"

You hummed as you smiled, "He's a bit rough around the edges, but he always means well. He's easy on the eyes too. Got really nice hair and pretty colored eyes that makes me swoon around him. Not to mention his body looks like Zeus could be his father." To add emphasis, your body leaned side to side as you laughed.

Eren snorted, his eyes rolling as he thought of any guy he knew that was like you described. All he could think of was Captain Levi and Erwin. He hated to think of Levi as charming, but he was rough all around. Erwin had eyes that Historia had once described as pretty, but to think of you being attracted to someone as old as him made his stomach flip.

"Want to head back to my office?" You suggested, not wanting to leave Eren's side until he figured it out but also not wanting to stick around in case other officers walked in. You got a stiff nod and wanted to giggle when Eren still opened the door for you. As the both of you walked through the large building, you added a hop to your step as you continued,

"He's also such a gentleman. He respects me, he's never intimidated by my sharp wit, always opens doors for me, waits until I'm sitting before he starts eating, and he almost seems proud of me being a doctor. He's just so understanding and sure of himself as a man that I guess the idea of having a girlfriend in my position would never make him feel inferior." You turned to look at Eren sideways and noticed his shoulders hunched, you knew it was cruel how you kept teasing him but were hopeful that it would click for him soon, so you went on.

"Wow, sounds like a real keeper." He grumbled, now thinking of Jean or even Connie. Armin was too occupied with Annie and Reiner was too obsessed with Historia to hang around you. There was no way Beruto/Borrito/Bertoto would catch your eye as you had made it a point to always get his name wrong, but Connie made you laugh and Jean was always extra nice to you.

"I'm telling you, I think he's perfect. He's dependable, strong, and we share so many of the same ideas. I could talk to him for hours and never be bored and when I'm not with him, I feel...sad. I just constantly want to be by his side and if I'm not I want him to be thinking about me because that's exactly what I do."

You both entered your office, you walked up to your desk as you spoke, turning around and leaning against it to look at Eren. He had closed your door a little harder than necessary, the wood shaking against the frame as he crossed his arms and leaned his back on the door. He looked downright irritated and you bit your lip to keep from laughing.

"So why haven't you told him?"

You shrugged, "I think I've been pretty obvious about it, I'm always smiling when he's in the room, I always want to be with him, there's never a day where we don't walk together. I even wore this dress for him today."

You waved down at your figure, Eren's eyes looked over you twice and you jumped up on your desk, your thighs parting as you let the short skirt cover your panties and barely cover the tops of your thighs.

"I'm sure he'll love it." Eren spit out.

"I don't know..." You tilted your head, "Do you?"

Eren pushed himself off the door, going to your bookcase and letting his fingers brush the spines of the books, "It doesn't matter what I think. I'm not Mr. Pretty eyes. Sounds like a simpleton to me."

You let out an actual deep sigh and Eren met you with furrowed brows.

"What?"

"You're so fucking dense, Eren."

"What did I say?" He threw his hands up, "Just because I called him simple? I'm so sorry I don't care to hear you go on and on about this guy. I never thought I'd see you bend over backwards for some guy who opens doors for you. I thought you would have higher standards than that."

You let out a snort, "Keep talking Yeager, and I just might higher them."

"I mean I never thought looks would be so important to you. It's so-"

"So what?" Your tongue had a sharp edge that did not go unnoticed by Eren. He stood only a few feet from your desk, but you saw the awkward shift in his posture.

"Shallow." He spit out.

"Excuse me?" You gave him a look that said if he wouldn't apologize in the next ten seconds, he would surely live to regret it.

"What I mean is...what guy could possibly have this head over heels and you're just now telling me? I thought...I thought we-" He stopped, looking to the side and you relaxed before saying,

"We what, Eren?"

"I thought we had something special." He muttered. He looked to see your mouth opened in a small gasp and he began to turn to exit when you quietly beckoned him over.

"Eren...come here."

"No, I should g-"

"Please." You begged and the look in your eyes brought him to stand in front of you. Your hands reached for his shirt, yanking him forward and you hooked your legs around his calves. Eren gaped at you, not knowing what to do and say as you put one hand on his shoulder and the other cupped his cheek.

"You are such a dumbass." You laughed, "The person I've been going on and on about, that simpleton you bashed, is you. It's always been you, Eren."

It was like watching a light flicker on very very slowly, but once it was on you watched as embarrassment flooded Eren. His smile was sheepish and stupid as he stuttered over his words. His hands rested on your hips and you stroked his face from his temple to jaw as you asked,

"Do you maybe feel the same way?"

You didn't get a verbal answer, the sudden kiss Eren laid on you was an answer enough. His lips were soft and warm as they moved against your own, his tongue enveloped yours and you felt him lean more onto you. The moan that slipped out his mouth when you bit his bottom lip made something tighten in your stomach.

When you two finally broke apart you didn't miss the trail of saliva that connected the two of you and you whimpered for more. The second kiss was heavier, a clash of teeth and tongues as Eren feverishly wrestled to touch you everywhere his hands could reach. You felt him press against your core, the loud gasp you let out made him look at you in concern.

"Sorry, sorry. I'll stop if you want me to."

You shook your head as you met those green eyes that held you captive since day one, "More. I want more."

The smirk was something you had never seen, his eyes became half-lidded as Eren kissed your nose. Then your chin, then your neck. When he reached your collar, his finger hooked onto the top of your dress, pulling the fabric down as he kissed just above your breast.

"She wants more." He said to himself, the soft rasp in his voice made you attempt to close your legs. His hands pushed what little that had covered your legs up and Eren's fingers brushed your core.

The jump you gave made his smirk grow, "I haven't even touched you yet."

He saw the small patch of dampness on your panties, and before you could ask him what he was doing, you let out a sharp gasp when his fingers pushed the fabric to the side and he plunged two fingers into your pussy.

The moan he ripped from you was like music to his ears and as he began to slowly pump his fingers in and out he watched as your face became hot and red. It was uncomfortable as first, you could even say it hurt but that didn't stop you from rocking your hips up to meet his eager hands. You weren't entirely prepared as you felt a bit tense as Eren kissed your neck, the suckling on your flesh making small breathy whimpers leave your mouth. His other hand's fingers hovered over the buttons on the back of your dress and his eyes asked for permission as he glanced up at you.

A small tentative nod was all he received before he took out his hand from between your legs, his tongue skillfully licking the digits cleaned and you didn't think you would find such an act so erotic. You arm hooked around his neck as you brought him down to a kiss, you could taste yourself on his lips as he kissed you back eagerly, his fingers skillfully working the buttons on your dress and you wondered for a brief moment if he had ever done such an act before. You pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to lose focus or confidence while in the middle of being with Eren by letting unnecessary insecure creep into your heart. As if being able to read your mind, Eren said-

"Stop being in your head," A hard kiss against your lips, "Be here with me."

His nose rubbed sweetly against yours, fingers tilting your head up as you gave a hesitant nod. Your eyes wanted to focus anywhere but his eyes and you could felt warmth spread across your cheeks when the sleeves of your dress fell down your arms. The idea of letting Eren see all of you was as exciting as it was nerve-wrecking, the most he ever saw was your legs and back from that one time you walked out of the bath in only a towel. Seeing him shirtless was not new but you still felt your breath catch in your throat as you watched him yank the material off. Your hands explored the newly exposed skin, fingers dipping in every curve of muscle and your hand rested just above the waistband of his jeans. You noticed his breathing grow heavy, Eren's head falling forward on your exposed shoulder where you felt him nip and suck on the soft flesh. You returned the favor by kissing him on the chest, your eyes still casted downwards as you fumbled with the buckle on his belt, you let out a small curse from how hard your hands were shaking and Eren placed a gentle hand on top of yours, his eyes alight with amusement as his lips curved into a soft smile.

"Baby, relax." He murmured, he pushed your hands aside as he took over the task. You let out a deep breath as you heard the sound of his zipper being tugged down and you decided to be bold. You lowered the upper half of your dress, the cotton falling off your arms with ease and you blushed furiously once you remembered that you hardly ever wore bras and today was no different.

Your nipples were taut as you shivered from the cold air in your office and Eren stared at you in wonder his eyes raking your body as you looked to the side and brought your bottom lip in between your teeth.

"Fuck, can I touch you?" Eren blurted, his hands still near his trousers and you giggled when he added a last second, "Please."

Nodding, you figured it was time to stop feeling so shy. You had been dreaming about this moment for months, yet as the man you loved stood before you, eager to be with you, all you could think about was how scared you were that you wouldn't be enough to satisfy him.

One more glance at the way he watched you was enough for you to think, If he really didn't, he wouldn't be looking at me as if I put all the stars in the sky.

You felt the second wind of confidence hit you and you took Eren by surprise as you hooked your fingers on his belt loops and tugged the fabric down. You palmed him through the thin material of his briefs and his hips jerked from the contact before he melted against you. Lowering the elastic, your small hand wrapped itself around his shaft and you took a moment to admire his dick. It was something new and foreign to you, for a moment you wondered if all male penises looked like that but you pushed that thought aside as you found yourself not really wanting to ever know, as long as Eren's would be the only one you saw. You hand moved up and down, your thumb brushing across his tip as you swiped some of the liquid leaking out to use as lube.

You knew he was a few inches above average, the thickness was also enough to make you worry for a moment whether he would be able to fit in you as his fingers struggling to push inside of you were of any indication of how tight your body was. Either way you were determined to satisfy the both of you, the idea of him using you and watching his face come apart as he milked himself dry using only your pussy had your head feeling fuzzy with want. He rested his head on you, causing your body to lean back and you pressed one palm on your desk behind you and the other jerked him off a bit sloppily. His moans filled the space of your office, you secretly prayed to the gods that the scouts could be smart enough for once to not be injured or to be able to at least handle it themselves and your eyes flickered to the door for a moment.

"Eren," You murmured to the shell of his ear, his heavy breaths fanning across the span of your chest and you felt both your bodies getting hot. "The door, we need to lock the door."

His groan was the only response you got as he trailed kisses up your neck and shoulder, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, he was such a guy sometimes. You began to lower yourself from the desk before his hand on your leg suddenly halted your movements and he gave you a lazy smile, his half lidded eyes softly rolling as he let out an obnoxious groan of annoyance.

"I'll do it." He didn't even bother to tuck himself back into his briefs, his dick fully erect as he made way to your door. You felt your hand falling to your side and you bit your lip as you thought about what you wanted to do twice before letting your own hand push the fabric of your underwear to the side once more. You rubbed at your clit lazily as you softly moaned, your eyes closing at the sensation and you smiled when you heard the soft, "Shit." coming from a few feet ahead of you. Eren's eyes were transfixed on you, the way your head rolled back as your moans became louder and higher pitched was making him painfully hard and he wanted-no needed to be inside of you before he was sure he would come right then and there.

Your eyes were still closed when you felt him settle between your legs once more, eyes hazy and smile lazy as you felt him tug your panties down your legs. Your ass lifted briefly to help and you giggled when he grunted in annoyance from having to shuffle backwards to slip them off completely. He laughed with you as his hand cupped you by your jaw, lips finding yours in a tender kiss and the hand that had been rubbing at your clit was used to steady yourself by his shoulder. His muscles flexed under your touch and your breaths intermingled as he stared at you with such an intensity that you felt your stomach flip. You looked down to where he rubbed his length along your folds and gulped.

"I-I'm nervous." You admitted, cheeks blushing and Eren kissed your temple.

"It's okay, I'll take care of you. Do you trust me?" You gasped at the intensity in his eyes, Eren Yeager was one who never beat around the bush and you felt tears pool around your eyes as you nodded. Everything leading up to this moment overwhelmed you suddenly, losing your family, gaining your dream job, becoming independent so quickly, and falling in love with a man who turned into what so many feared but who let you place` flower crowns on his head during tea parties. He continued to maintain eye contact with you, your lips parting and eyes partly closing as he began to push past your labia. It all felt too much, but you wouldn't want to be anywhere else in that exact moment Eren pressed his tip into your passageway. There was a bit of resistance and the guttural moan he released made your eyes widen in an audible gasp, he looked ethereal with reddened cheeks, a slacked opened jaw, eyes that looked close to tears, and thin layer of sweat making his dark brown locks stick to his forehead.

He pushed another inch in, trying his best to not act too quickly or too harshly. All he wanted to do was fucking ruin you. Mark you as his by impregnating you and watching as you took every drop of his semen. It seemed you wanted it too as your hips jerked forward and took in another inch.

"Eren, please." You had no idea what you were asking for, he was being slow and gentle and as much as you appreciated his mindfulness, it had been six long months and if you had to go through another night of humping your pillow or rubbing one out with only fantasies of Eren touching you (Sometimes even Levi, depending on how much alcohol you had consumed) you were gong to scream.

Another inch and a deep chuckle was his response. Your eyes were set ablaze as the realization that he was teasing you.

"Please what baby?"

"Give it to me." You whispered, your hand tugging at his hair harshly and the hiss of pain he released was simultaneous when he completely thrusted his entire length into you. Your thighs jerked at the sudden intrusion and the cry you let out was loud enough that if anybody were nearby, the would have assumed someone struck you. Your hand smacked against his chest, your breath ragged as you attempted to give Eren an angry glance but your pussy betrayed you as it clenched hard around him.

You both released a gasp when Eren fully bottomed out inside you. His hips flush against your parted thighs and your foreheads pressed against one another, lips brushing but not kissing yet as you two came to terms of what was being done. You and Eren were one, there was no going back from what was about to transpire and you silently prayed that he wouldn't regret it later.

"Stop being in your head," He murmured against your mouth, eyes looking into yours, "Be here..."

He gave a heavenly thrust and you felt his arms wrap themselves around your waist as he forced you to fall back onto your desk with a small uff and your hands fell onto his shoulders. Your legs locked around his waist and the new angle caused him to be deeper inside you, but he continued to stare at your with that same admiration from that day he had met you.

"With me."

You nodded slowly, kissing Eren for what felt like the first time. A bit shyly and unsure as your mouth moved against his slowly, you savored the taste of tea and something sweet from his tongue and you let one of your hands hold him by his face as the other found solace in his hair.

Eren began to thrust into you, the rhythm a bit off at first as you two tried to find what worked and when he dipped his hips a little and heard the string of filthy words leaving your mouth, he gave a knowing smirk.

"Hmm, right there princess?"

You panted, your tongue lolling out as his began to go faster. One of your hands shot out to the side to brace yourself on something when Eren began to fuck you harder and instead you turned to see you hand knocked your bottle of ink over, the deep blue liquid was spilling everywhere but before you could let your brain process the mess, Eren began to suck on the flesh of your neck that you exposed when you moved your head. You moaned as you closed your eyes at the overwhelming sensations of it all, your hands grabbing at the muscles in his back and you arched your own and pressed your chest into him.

"Oh fuck," Eren moaned out, "This pussy is so good. You're taking me so well, princess."

"Yeah?" You panted out, "Going to cum in me, baby?"

Eren picked himself up on his forearms, too preoccupied with how pretty your tits looks bouncing with each thrust to notice the your hair was sprawled all over and the upper part of his arm was touching something wet, he figured it was the sweat you two were producing with your coupling.

"I'm gonna get you pregnant, make you mine forever."

"I'm yours!" You screamed as his hips slammed particularly harder down onto your own.

"Choke me, make me a mommy, cum in me, just please don't stop fucking me." You cried out, and a new sort of excitement showed in his eyes, his hand cupped just below your jaw and the light pressure he put on you made you moan louder.

The sounds of skin smacking, panting breaths, and heavy moans filled the air. Eren coaxing you to come all over his dick as you begged him to not pull out of you echoed of the walls of your office. You went on like that for a good while and you giggled in realization that your silent wish for everyone to leave the two of you alone for a while had come true.

Unbeknownst to you two, there had almost been three interruptions. The first being Captain Levi who wanted to ask if mixing his blood pressure medicine with wine would be too dangerous, but when he heard you scream he almost barged in before the unmistakable moan that followed made him fully come to a halt. He didn't even think twice about what was transpiring, briefly remembering that Eren was in fact with you this morning before quickly turning around and hauled ass as far from the hallway as he could. He wasn't sure where he was heading before he stumbled into Erwin's office, the commander looking up to see his captain look like he just ran a marathon.

"Levi? You look like you just saw a ghost?" His eyebrows creased, "Are you okay?"

"Yeager isn't as dense as we thought."

Eren stood to his full height, grabbing at your ankles and moving your legs onto his shoulders to they were fully parallel to his body. You let out another giggle at how your ankles were now on either side of his head, but the small kiss he gave your right one made you let out a noise of adoration. He gripped your hips, smiling as he noted the streaks of something blue all over your chest and neck but decided against telling you as your pussy began to pulsate around him. There was no way in hell he was going to stop you from orgasming.

The second time was Sasha and Connie as they wanted to ask if eating candies with the wrapper still on was anything they needed to worry about, but the sounds of your desk scraping across the floor with Eren commending you for being a good girl and taking him so well made the both of them stare at each other with wide eyes. The "Huh?"'s they exchanged were amusing to anyone else and Sasha grabbed Connie by the collar before they hightailed out of there. Connie wanting to see if Eren had really been capable of pulling you and Sasha calling it bullshit and stating that the real reason was that he wanted to see you naked.

His thrusts became wild and sloppy, the slushing sounds you two were making was the hottest sounds you ever heard. You held onto his wrists, your smile wide and beautiful and Eren knew he wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer.

"I'm not gonna last long," He let you know, you nodded as you reached down to rub your clit in circles.

"Fuck, you look so hot." He blurted, his cheeks a deeper red and you gave him another soft smile.

"Thanks, baby. You too." His abs were going to be the death of you and you hoped you would get the chance to suck him off later to lick them one by one in foreplay.

You felt him begin to twitch in you and you knew you were so close, your rubbing speeding up as Eren's thrusts were becoming more sporadic. The way his eyes began to roll upwards had you chanting,

"I'm-I'm cumming!" Your moan was breathy and high as you felt your release overwhelm your senses, you felt euphoria as you moaned so loud that Jean and Floch who didn't believe Connie when he said that Eren had managed to bed you stared at each other with wide eyes and gaped mouths as they stood outside your door. Their cheeks red as they rushed down the hallway as if their asses were on fire, not even halfway down the stairs when they felt their collars yanked at so harshly they almost trampled down, Captain Levi's glare knowing as he began to reprimand them for being nosy pricks.

Eren's cock dove into you hard and you felt him pulsate as he shot long ropes of cum into you, his essence overflowing as he filled you to the brim and painted your insides white.

His moan was unbelievably loud and low, the "I love you." That followed didn't go unnoticed by you and the smile he gave, made you realize how much he meant it.

"I love you." Your answered back, he pushed your thighs to your chest when he lowered himself to kiss you. His cock softening inside you and he slowed his thrusts down and milked himself dry. He tapped his tip on your sensitive clit, making sure he was empty before tucking himself back into his boxers and jeans. The creampie in you was beginning to ooze out and he used his two fingers to push it back in, your hips bucking at the intrusion and you whined about your sensitivity.

You sat up, your hand going to fix your hair, only groaning slightly when you felt the ink on some strands already drying. You huffed before jumping down and fixing your dress. Eren was putting his shirt back on, his back slightly turned to you and your eyes widened in embarrassment at seeing the blue ink in what was obviously your finger prints streaked all over. You looked down and saw that it had well faded from your hands, transferring to your lover who put on his jacket. You shrugged, figuring no one would see it and you could wash your hands later. Your hair would be a bit tricky to explain but you would be home to shower soon anyway, which reminded you-

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" You blurted, scaring Eren as his eyes widened, you bit the inside of your cheek and fumbled with your fingers.

He smiled, walking up to you and kissing you on the lips before replying, "I would love to. I have to do some work today, and pack an overnight bag but I'll be home by dinner." His eyes looked you over, stifling a laugh when he saw the marks of blue ink on your neck, debating on telling you but not being able to deny how cute they looked on you, a gentle reminder of what happened just moments ago and an odd turn on for him to think of it as him marking you as his, the lovebite also on the side making him watch you with love.

You nodded before giving a follow-up question, "Chicken or fish?"

"Fish." He nodded, you grabbed a few papers from your desk drawer and Eren asked if you were all set before taking your hand into his as the two of you began to walk out the office, you mentioned having to speak to Erwin about the cadet recovering from a broken limb and Eren listened patiently, your hands swinging in between the two of you and you both relished at how easy it felt to transition into a life of domestication together. He walked you to Erwin's office, his knuckles knocking on the door before a loud, "One minute!" replied.

You both shared a look of confusion before shrugging and stepping to the side. You fixing his hair and Eren's hand resting on top of your hips when the office door opened. You both turned to see Jean and Floch who sported sullen faces, their arms swinging in front of them as if they were children just denied a cone of ice cream.

"Boys?" You called, your free hand interlocking with Eren who stood in place as you took a step toward the pair. "Everything alright?"

They looked between you and Eren, Jean seeing the ink marks on your neck and seeing Eren's hair haphazard was enough to make him look to the floor, his cheeks reddening and Eren could only smirk. Floch was the opposite, he couldn't take his eyes off you as his face held a permanent grimace and you wondered if he was constipated.

"Baby," Eren called, tugging you back to him and Jean scoffed, Possessive ass is already showing her off. He thought to himself.

"They just got yelled at by Erwin, whatever they did was obviously bad, just leave them be."

You nodded in understanding, giving them a comforting smile and Floch didn't miss the knowing look in Eren's eyes.

"Sorry to hear about that. If you two ever need anything, you know where my office is."

"Yeah, that's the problem." Captain Levi's voice came from the doorway. Jean and Floch mumbled a quick goodbye before scurrying away and you couldn't help but fall into deeper confusion.

The captain and Eren exchanged looks before Eren bent to kiss your cheek.

"I got to go. I'll see you later, princess." You blushed at the nickname and public display, murmuring a soft okay in reply as your boyfriend? walked away from you.

You gave Levi a smile which he didn't return, you didn't miss the small blush on his cheeks and you figured it was from seeing such intimacy from Eren. You were almost positive Levi was still a virgin. Walking into Erwin's office, you all but skipped the man's desk, falling beside him and giving him a bright smile which he returned.

"Hey Erwin, just wanted to update you on the cadet's recovery plan. He should be back in training in a few months if he listens to my instructions, think you can help me?"

"Sure what do you need?"

"Well, I'd need you to sign these release forms first." You shrugged putting the papers in front of him, you looked at his desk and grabbed the pen, "Where's your ink?"

The chuckle the two men gave you made your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"What?"

"Seems like you're wearing it, Doc." Levi's eyes flickered to your neck.

You let out a gasp and your hands slapped to cover you and the laughs that followed only made you blush furiously.

Dammit, You thought, Eren you idiot.

[tricktster]

the twilight series suddenly makes 100% more sense if you read them under a specific premise that, i contend, is heavily supported by the text:

Much like Amy’s diary in Gone Girl, the books in the Twilight Saga are verbatim reproductions of in-universe diary entries carefully and deliberately created and curated by badass unreliable narrator Bella Swan as a means to achieve immortality.

Prerequisite assumptions:

1) Bella actively and persistently wants to become a vampire, both diagetically and (I contend) non-diagetically. The average vampire novel format often fails to capture realistic human behavior in one highly specific area: the protagonists are frequently mortals who grapple with the choice of whether to become a vampire. This is stupid, because being a vampire would obviously be dope as hell; particularly in the Twilight Universe, where vampires are not required to take a human life to survive, and indeed, have the capacity to live full and rewarding lives while integrated* into the human community.

(*integrated-ish; see Assumption 6)

2. There are too many coincidences for Bella to have encountered the Cullens by sheer chance, only to be the ONE person that Edward can’t live without (due largely to the novelty factor of not being able to read her ding-dang thoughts.)

3. Diagetically, the Volturi don’t even know Bella’s psyonic gifts until New Moon, but we also know that the Volturi scour the globe for recruits to enlist into the protection of their governing body.

4. Nobody wants to be a voiceless cog in a bureaucracy.

5. Nobody, and especially nobody in high school, wants to be a high school student forever.

6. Vampires in twilight are, as a group, cartoonishly terrible at disguising their true nature.

7. Forks is a backwater town approximately 3.5 hours away from the biotech hub of Seattle.

7. George W. Bush and Dick Cheney can eat my farts and they deserve to be preserved in this snapshot of an innocent author’s mind slowly unraveling.

Proposed timeline:

In 1993, there is a key system meltdown at a improvised biohacking startup in Seattle, rendering all innovative genetic modification experiments into a puddle of brown sludge that nobody can figure out how to dispose of per Federal regs, since they don’t even know what it is.

The broke founder of the startup, who for the purposes of this timeline I will call Jeff Bezos because that’s who it was, eventually grows tired of all the discussion about what to do, and just pops it in a barrel, drives a few hours out of town, and dumps it in a pond.

Bella Swan, a small child, is hanging out at a park with her family friend Jacob Black (and a ton of his friends) when they all decide to wade in a slightly murky pond. Thereafter, they are transformed.

Bella grows up as a normal, highly powerful mutant with a +20 to deception checks and wisdom saves. She lives in Arizona, but up until 2002, summers in Forks. While in Forks, she picks up on the local lore about a family of vampires who don’t eat people.

Because Forks (population: 17 + Charlie’s mustache) is boring, Bella bones up on the only interesting thing about it, i.e. Vampire Hometown baybeeeee.

In 2000, George W. Bush gets elected president, and his evangelical politics and general bumbling ineptitude informs Bella’s opinions on authoritative governmental entities.

In 2001, the Cullens make their intention to move back to Forks known, but they take a while because they need to pack all their stupid graduation hats and volvos, etc.

Later in 2001, a psychic Volturi scout rolls through Forks to ensure that nobody within living memory recalls the Cullens, and notices an anomaly in the psychic field.

The scout goes to confront Bella about joining the Volturi, and Bella immediately clocks him as a vampire, because vampires in the Twilight Universe fucking suck at looking/acting human. This leaves the scout in a bind: she’s too valuable to kill, but she’s a pre-teen, and therefore too young to be transformed per Volturi authority.

The scout warns her he’ll have to kill her if she discusses the existence of vampires with any human. He then tells her he’ll be back in five years, and begins to sweet talk her on how good life will be when she’s a vampire, beautiful, immortal, powerful, etc. Bella asks if she has to kill, and dude says “nah, actually there’s a bunch of vegetarian vampires who are moving back here soon. Fucking nerds, but otherwise they’re doing well.” Bella is all about becoming a vampire, because Bella is a rational actor.

Bella moves to Arizona, and as the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are unjustifiedly initiated, she recognizes that while she DOES want to be a vampire, she does NOT want to be a foot soldier in any war that she can’t support. She needs a plan.

In 2004, Bella is watching her step-dad’s minor league baseball game when it occurs to her. On her own, she’s a target for the Volturi, but if she had some people to watch her back, she might be okay. Of course, nobody fucks with the Volturi on behalf of some rando human. She’ll need to con her way into a coven who’ll have her back and also give her that +10 to constitution via vampiric transformation, which she desperately wants because she’s a rational actor. And where are the non-volturi vampires that might have her back? Fucking Forks.

Bella moves to Forks in 2004, and upon seeing the Cullens, she immediately clocks them as vampires even though they left their “we’re all vampires” booty shorts at home, because, as previously discussed, vampires in the Twilight Universe fucking suck at looking/acting human.

Bella notes that all the vampires but one are paired off in heterosexual bliss, and takes note of the straggler as a potential vehicle to vampyrdom.

Bella figures out that Eddie can read everyone’s mind but hers, because Edward Cullen fucking sucks at looking/acting like a human who can’t read minds. Bella further observes that Eddie has a huge undead boner for her.

She’s found her mark. Now she just needs to convince him that she’s better off as part of the coven than on her own. Problem: Eddie’s a self-pitying insufferably guilt-striken perpetual adolescent who keeps himself busy by feeling sorry for himself because he’s a vampire, angst angst angst etc etc. Also, I think he’s Catholic, so add some more guilt in. She’ll have to win him over by convincing him that they’re destined to be soulmates.

What does a vampire used to having complete insight into everyone’s mind but his crush’s want? A method to know what she really thinks of him. Bella begins writing a “diary” knowing that there’s no way in hell Eddie won’t sneak in and read it. So she Gone Girls it, and begins to lay a trap to lure him in. That first diary? Twilight.

This was just in the movie but a stoner chases her around with a worm on a stick. Nothing to do with this theory, I just like that part of the movie. Where’s my spinoff about that guy?

Eddie won’t give Bella what she wants (eternal life) by the end of book 1, even though she asks him to EXTREMELY POLITELY. Time to hit the diary with some more promises of undying love.

Bella reconnects with her old friend Jacob and the rest of the Mutated By Jeff Bezos Boys. Alas, they cannot turn her into a physically powerful sexy immortal with a bite, so she’s still stuck with plan A) win over a whole family of vampires with big Mormon energy. It’s the long con.

Edward’s angst abruptly takes a swing towards terminal. He’s absolutely your classic sadboy, perhaps because Bella now has one (1) friend that he knows about.

When Eddie begins to drift away on account of Angst, Bella conjurs up a secondary love interest who, coincidentally, is ALSO a sexy supernatural entity, and is much less coincidentally just Jacob.

We should establish here that Edward is like a 107 year old white dude and so even though Diary!Bella pretends not to see it, Metatextual Frame Story!Bella knows that dude is super racist.

Jacob Black is three things: 1. Like Bella, a mutant (although one with shapeshifting abilities), 2.one of Bella’s oldest and most trusted confidants, and 3. down to clown on an elderly teenage vampire who keeps stereotyping him. Sure, says Jacob, I’ll take the form of a werewolf. He seriously thinks we’re all just beastmen, huh? Hey look at me now, I’m Regis Philbin because this is 2005 and Who Wants to be a Millionaire is still sort of relevant. Sick.

Edward does not like that Bella has one (1) other friend. Bella and Jacob plot to use this to their advantage and lure Edward back on the wings of jealousy.

Eddie gets himself into trouble on account of Angst and poor communication, so Bella has to go rescue him from himself/the Volturi.

Aro finally meets her and gets to test her powers, which impress him. Now she’s back on the fucking radar.

I forget everything that happens in Eclipse, so i have chosen to omit that part.

Eventually she extracts a quid pro quo from Eddie; i’ll marry you if you turn me into a dracula.

We don’t really call ourselves that, Wet Blanket Cullen replies, entirely earnestly.

Bella gets married at 18 in 2006, and Eddie starts to backtrack his promise about changing her. This won’t stand.

Well, look, he’s an elderly guilty catholic/mormon teen who probably still uses super racist terms, but she’s stuck on honeymoon island, he has certain angles that work for him, and seriously what are they gonna do but fuck? Bella’s alternative is listening to her “husband” drone on about his interests, which are almost certainly Car, How Do I Post a Minion Picture on Facebook, and Licorice Used To Be a Lot Cheaper in the Good Old Days.

Whoops a fetus.

Bella recognizes that she’s GOT to have this baby: time’s running out, and Bella knows that at least two of the Vamps in her coven will cut ties if she terminates or otherwise fails to carry this baby to term because of the conservative religious subtext. She’s going to have to stick it out for 9 months, even though it’s a risky call.

Bella gets what she wants after giving birth. “My time as a human is over, but I've never felt more alive. I was born to be a vampire.” That’s a direct quote. Except now she’s got a (pretty cute and easy) baby that she desperately wants to protect from Turning Into A Vaguely Religious Cullen Dressed Head To Toe In Cream Colored Wool.

Bella decides to fake her own death and escape with the kid and Jake so they can form i guess a detective agency. Bella will get “killed” by the Volturi, move to Sydney, and open up shop, and Jake will take the kid after her a few months later.

They’re gonna need a reason why Jake gets the kid though, and there’s only one reason to do anything amongst the Cullens: a heterosexual love interest with a super problematic age gap.

Jesus, Jake sighs, is Eddie really going to believe I’m in romantic love with your actual infant? Does he really think that little of me?

Yup.

Bella tries to draw the Volturi’s attention.

Works too well.

The Cullens call up all their vague acquaintances, who are at least kind of fun. Particularly that one dude who keeps getting angry about British conduct during the American Revolution.

Well, fuck, now the Volturi are bringing an army to fight their ragtag army of Vampires Who Are Cool And Interesting Enough That We Can Safely Presume They Are All Definitely Gay. Bella can’t let those guys die, they’re the first actually compelling vampires she’s ever talked to.

Bella saves the day because she’s OP.

All the Cool Vamps start packing up to leave and Bellz almost goes with them, but the Cullens would just keep sending missionaries after her if they knew.

Bella finishes her fourth journal with the vague warning that the Volturi are still out there somewhere and they miiiight just try and get her.

Two days later, she stages a scuffle and gets the fork out of Fucks. Her journals are the only clue.

Sirius Black and baby nessie follow once edward has stopped sobbing into his cream colored sweater and moved on to Extended Power Pouting.

Bella recruits her own army of fledglings.

Bella stages a coup against the Volturi and succeeds.

Bella sits on the iron throne with a hot lady vampire on each knee and they all kiss and stuff.

Nessie I guess forms a post punk band?

Edward dies from aspiration of a brussel sprout that he ate because he just wanted to feel something.

Charlie and Billy get married.

Charlie’s mustache develops a cult instagram following, providing them with a modest retirement income.

Jacob shapeshifts into Bill Murray and is always crashing weddings.

Bella’s stepdad is off in the B plot this whole time winning the world series with the help of a kooky angel.

There. Fixed. My soul is at rest.

[kyidyl]

Kyidyl Explains Bone - Part 1

(These posts will be collected under the tag KyidylBones because I have the sense of humor of a 13 year old boy.  Also, I’m going to start cross-posting them to my science side blog @science-of-anthropology​ in an effort to like give people a place to go if they’re just here for these posts and not for my other random thoughts.  That blog also contains a lot of decent info from the days I was premed and taking premed physical science classes.)

Intro and Ethical Considerations

Ok, all you weird nerds out there (<3), how’s your day going? Good? Are you ready to hear me ramble about one of my favorite things on earth? Well, then gather ‘round ye old tumblr fire.  We’re gonna learn about *people*! Because all the stuff I taught you before was stuff you basically learn in anthropology undergrad and in a field school.  But! I *specialized*.  I have secret powe--*coughs* I mean, a special interest.  See, my favorite topic in the whole world, the one on which I will ADHD infodump for DAYS about if you let me, is the intersection of human evolution and culture.  My ultimate goal is either to work in a museum, or be a scientist that studies this.  That’s why I went out and got a masters.  

A bioarchaeology masters not only taught me how to dig up people, but a whole HOST of other things related to people and digging (Like genetics and using drones to survey an area for digging.). But before we can get into the details, there’s a few things you have to understand.  First: 

On sex, race, ethnicity, and gender

Anthropologists of all kinds are well, WELL aware that these 4 things are extremely fraught and extremely complicated.  Probably more aware than any of the other sciences.  But, when you learn to identify skeletons you learn to do it based on sex and race for a couple reasons: 

1. When identifying a body for the police department, their databases are entirely based on these identifying characteristics.  A lot of forensic anthropologists work with the police to identify remains.  If we can’t pick out demographic qualities then we’d never match them up to people in the missing persons database who are listed along a sex binary and racial categories.  But believe me when I tell you we all do it under duress and in annoyance because we know how complicated these things are for people.  

2. When dealing with populations that are gone and can’t tell us what they identified as, we arrange them by sex and race to make some sort of sense of the demographics of an area.  This is how we know, for example, that people from Africa intermingled early and often with people from Europe.  Being able to ID these markers on a skeleton is faster and cheaper than DNA tests and often the only method available, especially in prehistoric populations. 

So I will be discussing features on bones in these terms, but understand that it’s not my way of excluding trans people.  We, as of yet, just have no good way of *identifying* trans people in the archaeological record. 

And second:

Ethics

Ethics is a huge and thorny topic so I’m going to only make a couple notes here.  I bounced this series around in my head for awhile and the reason I didn’t do it sooner is that despite having human remains in my possession for legitimate scientific reasons, it’s extremely unethical for me to post pictures of them on the open internet.  The same goes for the tons of pictures I have of human remains from my masters studies.  To that ends, the images I’ll be using will fall into one of four categories: images from my textbooks, images on the public web that are available for educational use, and images of Bone Clones, and my own image of damage patterns on animal bones.  This is also a warning that, yes, there will be images of human remains here.  I’ve decided, though, that when a post starts to contain human remains, I’ll insert a cut.  So you will not be surprised by human remains randomly in your timeline.  

Now, here are some ethical things I need you guys to understand and adhere to: 

- These people had names in life, and you do not get to give them new ones.  Naming a skeleton is verbotten in archaeology circles, and often will extend to Bone Clones because they are casts of real bones. The correct terminology here is either “the/this individual” or “the remains”. If specificity is needed they’re either given an identification number or referred to by their demographic information.  If you have the name of the individual bc there was a gravestone or records, then it’s ok to use it.  Often we don’t though for privacy reasons.  

- These were people.  They had tastes, beliefs, people who loved them, etc. - all of which were different than mine or yours.  Please keep that in mind when commenting.  

- There is no ethical way for a lay person to obtain human remains, aside from direct donation by a relative or friend.  No, I don’t care what they website says in their statement about ethical sourcing.  They did NOT obtain the remains ethically.  The people who sold the remains almost always do so under duress, usually economic.  And if they weren’t given, they were stolen.  There is No.  Ethical.  Way.  To.  Purchase.  Human.  Bone.

- Modern bone collections obtained by institutions for education usually are obtained ethically.  Often via donation by a living donor before their death for the purpose of scientific education.  In other instances they are obtained from legally-dug excavations, from donation by family members (IE, no money exchanged and consent given.), or with some other kind of permission.  However, there are many existing bone collections that pre-date this practice and are NOT obtained ethically.  In the US these are undergoing identification (we’ll get to this in another post) and repatriation, but this is just one of the many thorny issues that physical anthropologists and archaeologists have to be aware of.  

- What other societies do with their human remains is going to seem strange and sometimes disgusting or objectionable to you.  Not always, but definitely sometimes.  This is their choice and in this house we respect the emic (within the social group) view on death rituals.  

I think that’s everything...if I remember more I’ll sprinkle them in as I go along.  Ethical violations are a Big Deal among archaeologists and other social scientists who handle human remains.  It’s one of the few things we don’t joke about (because as we all know, archaeologists are forces of chaos.).  The history of completely unethical treatment in the field makes us very sensitive to how human remains are handled and where they came from.  Questions are 100% fine - you all are still learning and I’m not gonna get mad at you for not knowing yet.  I’ll gently let you know if it’s inappropriate.  

So here’s the stuff I’m planning on getting to: 

Human vs. Animal

Sex identification.  

Racial identification.  

Age identification. 

Teeth! 

Damage to the skeleton (this might be two posts.).  

Other random stuff that might come up while I’m doing the other things.  

So....let’s begin....mwahahahahahahahaha. And for making it to the bottom of this post you get a bonus picture of me AND the dog:

His name is Gage, and my name is Kristina - you’re welcome to use it.  I know probably “Kyidyl” isn’t easy to say in your heads.  :) It’s pronounced kai-dul if you were every wondering tho.  Now you can put a face to the internet voice. :) 

[franki-lew-yo]

I really hate 2d purists. No, not 2d animation. Not 2d animators.

2d purists.

The sad thing is it’s gotten to the point that I really cringe hearing any pro-2D sentiment at all. I hate the arguments I agree with because how often they're misused and weaponized by idiots.

Let me make my stance here clear - 2d is NOT appreciated and 3d is used for everything! The layman Karen-mom who doesn’t have an artistic bone in her body looks at stupidsmooth 3D Grubhub ads and assumes quality cause it “looks more real” (aka ‘rendered’). I know as much is true because I literally have a member of my family who told my sister and I that she thinks 3d is better (and also that she “tolerated THOSE movies for us kids”. Touching words. My sister was taking an animation course by the way). Combined that with the studios either using 2D for cheap stuff or finding good 2d animation too “costly”, I get it and I’m not even any animator. I'm just a worm an illustrator.

but holy HELL -

There’s a backlash from the artistic community that's it's own kind of insufferable and deserve to be addressed.

“(insert2Danimatedfilm) is better BECAUSE it's 2D!”

followed by: "Animation is a visual medium and the quality of the art affects how much the story means !!!!”  

Yes. Totally. Animation is a visual medium and the look and style is important. Sadly, people use this excuse to really obnoxious ends, insisting that design being pretty is '' everything ''. When you treat a movie more as a special effects demo I get why you talk about the artistry at hand; but I’m sorry, visuals are not the only thing important and it’s why I’m also getting sick of the sameElsafacesyndrome rants too! There’s this attitude that's reads as "but it LOOKS better fromaproductionimage/teasertrailerwhichapparentlyisindicativeof all themovieactuallyis so it MUST BE better".

-“3D should only be used to make things look realistic!”

I think I know the logic this criticism is made in response to, and that’s the Sony + Illumination films which look just as good in 2D as they do in three dimensions. I know it feels like people are twisting this medium to try and make it like a classic cartoon when by all means people can and would love a classic cartoon being a classic cartoon. That I get- From the unsung 2D animator’s perspective, that’s more than valid !

But it’s a huuuuuuge slap in the face to 3d in saying it should only be used for "realistic animation" because

1: It’s not like realistic animation could age badly or look uncanny in the next few years. It's almost like technology is constantly improving, which I guess 2d animation never did and it was always the same technique and quality as every film that came after it.

2: The industry does treat 3d as a magic-moneymaker for this reason. Just listen to these people call the 2019 LION KING “live action” as if they’re embarrassed to call it animation. It IS animation! It would be impressive if you acknowledged that what it is, but like the CATS, you basically are treating it as just a neato tool to better your live action and not it's own artform - which it is!

3: By this “three-deeonly gud when real liek in da toystories” non-logic I guess 2d should ONLY be for flowyflowy SPACE JAM cartoons and maybe some Disney*. Just that though. You can’t do anything more with 2d. It’s never supposed to be realistic I guess. Good thing Richard Williams only did 'toons' and just toons that’s why we need 3d in the world I guess.

Wait no - that’s stupid.

"I HAVE to see the “Land Before Time 14″ when it comes out! I mean it’s a 2D animated film!"

Lost in the aether that is Youtube comment chains removed from kid's videos is a stream of this very VERY stupid argument supporting the buying of the 14th LAND BEFORE TIME film because it’s supporting 2D. My sister and I can be found on that chain arguing against this stupidity. All you have is my word, but trust me: it really did happen.

I’m sorry but...no.

Unless you have a friend or a family member who worked on these movies there’s no reason to see this and ESPECIALLY no reason to insist it’s a win for the 2D community if you buy up this crap - and I'm not judging if you do like it, but come on! LAND BEFORE TIME 14 isn't where your money should go if you really like this medium.

What’s so infuriating about this argument is you can tell it’s made by nonanimators. Real animators will tell you to support their movies cause they want some respect for their artform which is why there’s such a push from the PRINCESS AND THE FROGcrowd that you SEE and LOVE every 2d thing out there, regardless of how good it is because any recognition for it is k i n d o f what they're after!

Kiddy sequel schlock isn’t even in the same ballpark as KLAUS or WOLFWALKERS; these films DID have very limited theatrical runs (Klaus so it could be nominated; Wolfwalkers in places where theaters opened up after Covid) and should have been supported because they were labors of love made by people who love animation.

As other people have already pointed out, one of the reasons for the lack of interest in 2000sera2D animation is that the only films released alongside critical+financial 3D hits were cheaper 2D films that either coincided with daytime tv shows or should have been just direct-to-video. It’s not to say art couldn’t come out of these flicks, but dayum if it wasn’t abused as much as the texture software that era's CG used... Point being, should the world ever go back to normal: If you hear about an out-of-town showing an acclaimed 2D animated film, make time to trek out and see THAT!

Don’t give your money to see yet another made-for-tv movie on the big screen because all that tells the studio is: “yeah 2d IS cheap and only good for cheap stuff let’s just keep it cheap. Only 3d is important 8D 8D 8D !!!"

“I don’t understand how it works. So it sucks.”

This text is from an ANIMATOR btw.

“I don’t understand how it works” and “it’s just some computer rendering” is the exact same wave of logic the people who prefer cgi use.

The plebian Karen I mentioned earlier? She understands the basics of 2D animation as much as you did from one of those cruddy flash classes you took in middle-school. She 'understands' the basics cuz she watched how it was made on the DVD features or maybe back on the WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY. To her, the illusion is broken and she’s not impressed by 'just some drawings on paper'. You, an animator, know the process is more complicated and is intrigued by knowing how it’s made - not bored or disinterested -

Neither you nor Aunt Karen have really good cg-animation software at your house and unless you ARE a 3D animator you probably DON’T know all the ins-and-outs of how these movies are modeled, rendered, and animated.

Aunt Karen is bedazzled by them cause she doesn’t know how it works and the technical aspect makes her brain hurt so it might as well be magic and she can feel like a cool kid sharing Minion-memes. Aunt Karen is the nonartistic type who just wants to feel safe. You're not. You want to feel challenged.

I get it: you’re pissed off cause you’re in a field no one, including Aunt Karen, appreciates; told to work in cg which it's an artform you didn’t devote your life to and told to learn it cause THIS style sells! 3D is everywhere and is starting to look like 'garbage' even if you don’t animate 3D models yourself you just KNOW, I guess. Besides, you know all there is to know about 2d!! You know all there is to possibly know about this artform and have to fight this 'war' against "r e a l" animation! And I mean even when 3d software is there to use, it's not like you can actually make anything worth while in it, especially not anything that transcends the medium. Right Worthikids?

TL;DR: This argument is basically just " BWAAAAH I’M NOT GONNA USE IT I HAVE STANDARDS (a chip on my shoulder cuz art should be what I deem it to be) "

“PRINCESS AND THE FROG is-”

There’s a reason I can’t say I truly like PRINCESS AND THE FROG even though it's not even a bad movie! Like, stop reading this and watch PATF if you haven't it's good. It's my 'FROZEN', in that; I see a lot of potential in it I just think it needs some serious rewriting and that bugs me. Always have felt that way, tbh.

I dislike this movie because the response from the animation community seems to be it was perfect and the Academy was just Pixar-crazy with UP ((ftr, the Academy IS Pixar’s bitch and I personally advocate a sequel be made to WAKING SLEEPING BEAUTY about Mike Eisner’s sabotage of the 2D department at Disney which is still in place now!- but that’s a story for another day)). I’m sorry but UP was just a better story. So was CORALINE. So was FANTASTIC MR. FOX. Honest to god it feels like poor PATF is brought up as just a talking point and never for it's own worth as a labor of love - which it was! I'd like to honestly know: had PRINCESS AND THE FROG come out now and been cg if it would have even half the defenders for it because now it doesn't "look" like how a Disney movie "should" look...

If you like PatF more than the currant Disney lineup because of it's culture, it's music, it's feminism, it's black representation? Awesome. Great. Those things should be appreciated and I never want that taken away from you. But if you seriously think PatF is better just for how it was animated and looks - I lowkey may hate you.

“ALL OF DISNEY’S LATEST MOVIES SHOULD HAVE BEEN 2D! THEY ALL LOOK AWFUL IN 3D!! ALL OF THEM!”

TANGLED, FROZEN, and MOANA? Yeah. Sure. But um, e x c u s e y o u- WRECK IT RALPH sooooo doesn’t work in 2d! It could have used different between the various worlds but it’s about hopping through different video games. I’m also of the opinion that ZOOTOPIA and BIG HERO 6 are fine the way they are. Their 3d is awesome.

The latest fairy tale Disney films are really big on their place alongside the 2D canon esp in marketing. They keep trying to mimic 2D to varying results though I don't think it works as well as the movie's I'd previously mentioned. Me personally, I would love a mix of 3D and 2D technology, like if the backgrounds in FROZEN still got to be 3D but the characters were handdrawn and shaded ala KLAUS ((sweet sigh)). But even then are they truly unwatchable just based on how they're animated to you?

MOANA would have been incredible in 2D but for the record - I don't think it feels out of place in it's style. It reminds me more of a Pixar movie with the heart of a Disney classic which is it's own just as good.

“2D is the oldest form of animation and it’s being replaced.”

Actually, if we’re talking animation in film, stop motion is the earliest form of animation. The stop motion animated THE ADVENTURES OF PRINCE ACHMED and TALE OF THE FOX predate Disney’s SNOW WHITE. And yes: stop-motion IS still a form of animation even if it’s a serious of pictures taken of real life things and not drawings, so don’t you dare come at me with the "but that's not animated"/"Technically it’s LIVE ACTION" crap or I’ll envoke the spirit of Sandman to get you at night.

“Every animated film would look better in 2D! Even PIXAR would look better in 2D!”

Again, Stop Motion.

No, I mean it.

Lemme ask: Would ISLE OF DOGS or FANTASTIC MR. FOX carry any of the same effect if they were generic 90s toons? I know NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS wouldn’t. Christ, don’t even get me started on Svankmajer!

Sometimes the problem is that a movie is envisioned with a specific artform in mind. Pixar started out with toys and bugs for a reason and that’s cuz they were always gonna be a 3d studio and they needed to first overcome the placisity of the models. Over the years they’ve gotten really good at effects and blending unrealistic proportions with real textures (and also not so much- ONWARD and THE GOOD DINOSAUR really needed some different character designs and yeah, I do think would have looked better with a 2d artstyle, but not the ones they had in their films. THE GOOD DINOSAUR needed more realistic-speculative looking dinos and ONWARD needed a grittier HEAVY METAL/BLACK CAULDRON appeal to its designs.) My point being that the problems with these movies aren’t even inherently the animation as much as it is a problem of style. As someone who runs a group speculating different styles and designs for movies and tv shows I’m all for envisioning a 2D ZOOTOPIA or Bluth-inspired FNAF. That’s amazing!

But that’s also the talk of fan artists and nerds and not the professional artists working on visualizing their stories!!

Since I ate, slept, and breathed NIGHTMARE in my youth I’ll use it as an example: All the concept art ever done for TNBC was on paper and 2D was used in the final film. However, even when Tim Burton was thinking of making it just a tv special it was always going to be stop-motion. NIGHTMARE’s puppet cast do work very well in two dimensions, believe me, but the film was made as a love letter to Rankin/Bass and the art form of stop-motion. Skipping to another Henry Selick-helmed project (haha), JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH was also always envisioned as a multimedia film to give it a truly dream-like atmosphere. If you know anything about Henry Selick you’ll know he’s 1) a perfectionist, and 2) loves mixed media and different types of animation and puppetry at once. That’s why he was the perfect pick to direct TNBC at the time, why JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH and CORALINE are so beautiful and why MOONGIRL, his only fully 3d film, doesn’t have the same appeal.

As for what films I couldn’t imagine NOT being 3D? Probably; 9, Padak, Next Gen, Soul, Finding Nemo, the Toy Story films, Wreck-it-Ralph (as previously mentioned), Wall.E, Waltz with Bashir, Robots, Inside Out, Arthur Christmas, The Painting, Happy Feet, Shrek, Enter the Spiderverse, Megamind… just naming a few here.

“I want a traditionally animated film [and by that I mean a 90s-Disney/Don Bluth looking movie] of ‘x'-popular live action/stage thing!”

Okay I’m cheating a bit but it’s my blog and so I’m gonna stick this one in because it’s related.

When I see musings about wanting live-action or CGI shiz to be in 2d again a lot of the time this argument actually boils down to " I want this to look like a 90s Didney movie ". Or, if it’s about animals - " I want it to look like a Don Bluth film! "

Like...there ARE other styles of animation out there...you know that right?

Frack, Disney themselves tried different styles throughout the 90s it’s just that the peak of the Disney renaissance films (LITTLE MERMAID, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, ALADDIN, THE LION KING) and the many imitators that followed tended to have the same look to them where only film/animation nerds kept watching into the era that was TARZAN, HERCULES, and ATLANTIS along with the kids. Aunt Karen wasn't singing Part of your World in the carride with you every day.

The Don Bluth argument is especially irritating because...what exact feeling do you WANT from a movie if it looked Bluthish? Each of the four ‘quintessential’ Bluth movies (NIMH, AMERICAN TAIL, LBT, and ALL DOGS) have such a different feel to them that’s complimented by that style; SECRET OF NIMH is a drama about wild animals trying to understand humans; LAND BEFORE TIME is even more squarely about an animal’s perspective as there’s literally no humans around; AMERICAN TAIL uses animals stowing away on the ship to tell a story about refugees; and ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN is ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN.

What the frack are you even asking for with that because I think there’s a certain flavor to the Bluth-styled oeuvre as well as the 90s Disney catalogue that would clash too much stylistically with some films.

Also come on! Like some Bluthian-style 2d would really fix THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS or SCOOB!, bite me.

I think this fixation solely on these two hand drawn styles and nothing else is based on nostalgia goggles, refusing to step outside the norm and discover different films and feelings than Disney and Bluth, and just preference. Goin back to NIGHTMARE there will always be a special place in my heart for Henry Selick’s stop motion, but I couldn’t imagine CHICKEN RUN or ANOMALISA in it's unique style.

Also I’m tired of every time there’s a "lets make an animatic to ‘x’ musical theater song" it’s reliably just Disneyesque or realistic. WHY envision an animated version of the show at all if it doesn’t have A STYLE to it??!?! I’m sorry but 90s-Disney does NOT fit CABARET!

“3D is so CHEAP now! Why can’t they just do 2D again?”

I think - on the cusp of the 2020s and the Grubhub hatedom, there ARE changing times ahead for 3d and 2d. The general public are starting to get tired of the same looking 3d films and wanting some 2d back, but they don’t have the best resources or opinions on animation to know what it is they want. Meanwhile, the animation community + industry is trying to figure out what to do and you have a lot of turmoil between the monopoly that is the industry, the high standards of the artists, and the mixed wants of the animation fanbase deciding what art needs to be.

It’s a tough business. And in the spirit of that tough business - maybe DON’T act like the means of a film’s production is solely your control, that you know best, and know definitively what the artists should have done....cuz you don't. Sorry my fellow criticalfanomanalysist-folks we DON'T and in an age of standom where fans and critics think it's okay to hackle indie animation studios about not getting their pitched cartoon out fast enough - we need to reserve these discussions to our circles and not treat them as gospel.

3d animation and 2d animation have to share this world. Stop acting like they’re either interchangeable in terms of budget, means of production, or artistry or that one has to be superior to the other.

The industry already says one art form is better (spoiler: it’s always live-action), we don’t need anymore of this purist garbage. Just stick to what you like while trying new things on the side. Be critical while also being compassionate. And remember:

[mcytbdamofficial]

the full bdam!schlatt design page!

hi friends :) got something really cool to show you today!!! gonna put it under the cut as there is quite a lot to go through here haha...

but! essentially what you’ll find here is design pages for bdam!schlatt i’ve been working on for about a week now! there are a total of 21 designs for various stages of the story, which I explained in detail. feel free to just skim through and look at the drawings, haha. and enjoy!

(all of the designs are put in chronological order of the story, rather than the order of which they are in the actual story. they are also ONLY designs for bdam, and don’t include anything related to bhav)

first what i drew up here are designs for schlatt in the first stages of the smplive chapters! on the left is his very first appearance, and on the right is how i imagine him to look around his teen years.

in the first design is how i imagine schlatt looking when he first meets wilbur. at this stage of the story he was of course living in the inner districts of the city with not a lot to his name, so you can see ragged and dirty clothes there. he would usually carry his four discs around in his backpack since he didn’t think it’d be smart to leave them unattended in his parents’ apartment.

after getting taken in by phil, there was an immidiate change in how he dressed and acted - mostly getting more clean and fitting clothes, as well as trusting his surroundings enough to leave the discs in the room he shared with wilbur, never really feeling they were in danger. you can see the design on the right is a lot neater, AND he’s got the blue sweater! 

the second set of designs is mostly right before and right after phil’s banishment - more simply right before and right after schlatt was kicked out of the house the family stayed in and was forced to go work at the live daily

the design on the left is what schlatt looked like when he tried to make money for the family right before the banishment - he was described to have been wearing an old shirt of techno’s, a tie made up of a cut piece of techno’s old cloak and black jeans. it wasn’t a suit, but it was made to look close enough to one to help him sell things in a more convincing manner. up close, however, the outfit looked very clearly cheap.

on the right is schlatt’s design for the live daily! together with the aparment he got and everything else techno managed to put together through his connections with pete, he also got some actual suit shirts and pants he could wear, together with a tie. he would often carry around pens and pencils as well as a notepad (at least before he was barred from writing stories for the paper following the ted nivison piece), and was granted a press pass as any other worker at the paper, but he would hardly use it as it was near useless with his low position and permissions anyway.

in the third set of designs we have both of his schlatt & co designs, from before and after the fire that lead him to finding out about the nether intolerance and everything else surrounding it.

at this point in the story, the company was set up and schlatt, connor and wilbur all had enough money left to get themselves nice suits they could use for work. not only that, they made business cards! they’d give them out to clients and new people alike to try and get exposure. you can also see a clear change in how he styled his hair - going from overly neat for his more stable job to more messy for a job he had more control over.

on the right is schlatt’s look after the fire - when the captain concluded what he had he started offering to test schlatt more to try and find some sort of work around for the intolerance, or at least to try and figure out how it worked. he would often be seen with bandages or small bandaids from skin samples being taken, injections, blood being drawn, etc. he wouldn’t wear his jacket a lot around this time since it would be uncomofrtable anyway, and he rarely did business up close around this time considering how he looked.

in this fourth set of designs, we have a design for schlatt during his time in the lunch club, and a design for schlatt during the floods. they are two widely different designs - but i decided to put them side by side for contrast.

in the lunch club design, you can see some minor changes. he’s back to having a full, clean suit, and clearly started presenting himself A LOT more professionally. and as every other member of the lunch club, his badge could always be visible - and hey, i finally designed the badge! it’s a sort of more serious spin of the normal lunch club logo. the other six members had badges from the previous six - but schlatt’s was newly made, so it lacked the wear and tear of the others. another thing about this stage of his life was that he would often be seen around the city on various posters - as all other lunch club members. this was a sort of pseudo-propaganda method to keep the city loyal to the seven leaders and to raise kids admiring them.

on the flood design you can see everything we learn from the narration - schlatt used the jacket of his suit for the most part to bandage up wilbur’s leg, and used whatever was left to make a make-shift sling for his broken arm. there’s not much to say about this other than it being a drawing of what i saw mentally as i wrote those sections!

in the fifth set of designs we have one minor design and one far more major one - between schlatt after smplive’s recovery from the flood, and schlatt after he was left behind by everyone.

on the left, after everything returned to normal, schlatt got back to work at his, wilbur’s and connor’s company. he got a proper cast and sling for his broken arm, and he once more went back to a cheaper, but more comfortable suit. there’s really not much to say about this design, i just wanted to draw the cast-suit combo since i haven't done that before lol

the design on the right is a very important one! this is a design for how i imagine schlatt to look during his time alone in smplive. he would probably hang onto a sense of normalcy with the suit and everything - but would also try to get more functional with what he wore. he would carry a backpack with supplies he would need at any time and that he would fill with things he found around the city while looking for supplies, and he’d have a lot of straps to hang weapons, potions, etc... for the most part, he just tried to get an outfit that could keep things normal and familiar for him but also keep him alive. he always carried the picture of him and wilbur, stal, and a bag of schlattcoins. and of course, the voice recording device. that’s the only thing of those four he left behind when he left the city for good.

finally, some horn designs! these are really fun! on the left we have schlatt right after his first journey through the nether, and on the right we have him after he was nursed back to health by niki! 

when walking through the nether, even despite minx’s magic, schlatt’s condition still left him hurt severely. he also, of course, got hurt quite a lot walking through a place that dangerous. through his walk he grew very small horns - but they were not as big as they would be later. his eyes also begun to shift colour from brown into yellow, but the colour did not show very clearly at first. a small split also showed in the pupil of the eye, but once more, it was barely visible at this time.

after recovering, there isn’t really much to point out. schlatt got fresh clothes, most of the wounds were cleaned and fixed up, and apart from the horns, it was quite hard to tell the difference between how he looked in the dsmp and right before the left smplive.

in the seventh design we have some more severe hybrid features! these got really fun to draw from this point on! on the left we have how schlatt looked during his ban, and on the right is how he looked after, once more, being nursed back to health by niki after coming back. 

on the left design, you can see the hybrid features have gotten more severe. the horns grew out and curled, more resembling that of a ram, and his eyes fully shifted colour to yellow as well as their pupils splitting completely and turning a more rectangular shape. you can see his clothes being a lot more torn and dirty, as well as his jacket being ripped up and used as bandages for most of his body. at this point, schlatt had left his bag in the dsmp and had practically nothing to work with in the nether, especially in the early days when minx was still angry with him and very unwilling to help out in any way. 

on the right we have his design after recovery. he has some bandages, some clean clothes, and once more, there isn’t a lot to say. you can still see some bruises around his face, as well. ah, and of course, at this point he has the chops(tm).

in the eighth design i put together 3 suit designs, since i didn’t need to get too detailed with these ones. let me quickly run through these!

in the first design here, we have schlatt during the election! he got a cheap suit from wilbur that he wore when he expected him to do a speech in support of pog2020, which we of course know didn’t actually happen. at this point he still had most of the damage the ban in the nether did to him underneath, whether it be bandages or bruises.

in the second design we have schlatt during his presidency! this was definitely at his peak, with a nice, custom suit (you can see the manberg flag sewn into it around the chest), which shows how in control of everything he was at the time. 

for the festival, schlatt chose a more extravagant outfit, as did everyone who showed up. you can see a more casual, “human” suit to try and fit in with his people and try and paint himself as a fair ruler. he also put rings and other decorations on his horns for this event!

in the ninth design we have schlatt after the festival and during his further presidency. these were fun to do - let me walk you through them!

as shown in the design on the left, following the festival, schlatt lost an eye, burned most of the right side of his body, and lost a part of his horn. no one really know where it went. it’s believed it was lost in all the panic, eventually, and probably perished in the explosion. his right eye turned completely grey and faded, and he couldn’t see with it. following everything, he had bandages on most of his body for quite some time.

as shown in the right design, schlatt’s further presidency was a facade. he still has his clean, custom suit, but it doesn’t seem to fit the same. you can also see his hair got far messier and he never seemed to bother to actually clean it up. 

and so we reach the final, tenth page of designs! we have schlatt during the dsmp finale, and then we have him during the bdam finale!

in the left design you can see i got HEAVILY inspired by sad-ist’s dawn of the 16th animatic! at this point, schlatt lost his eyepatch but didn’t care enough to replace it or fix it up, and you can see his dishevelled state with how he’s dressed and how his clothes look overall. you can clearly see the burns on the right side of his face, and how little he does to conceal them.

and finally, the finale design! schlatt and wilbur, when they were between life and death, sort of became a mix of their spirits and minds - on one hand was their normal selves, but on the other, was that more innocent side left long behind, symbolised by the blue sweater he USED to wear when he lived with phil, mixed with a nice shirt he’d wear normally. in this void, his state is also more clean and orderly, which is why his horn is back in place and there’s a lack of burns. it’s essentially the most stable representation of him that can manifest - without changing him completely.

and that’s that! hope you guys like these <3 i worked really hard on them, and i’m planing to do more in the future for different characters! i have a lot of time to work on these now that i’m taking a break, so i hope to get more done soon. for now, that’s all! thanks for taking a look at these! <3

[moral-turpitudes]

Unfinished Business: Part 1

Trigger Warnings: Angst, Swearing, Slight mentions of past Abuse, Drugs.

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Reader

+ random character/group I made up (Romboldi & The Black Hats)

Word Count: 3,084 omfg I really did the most but I just kinda ran with it.

Summary: Y/N’s current occupation requires her to encounter Thomas Shelby, a man she thought was in her past for good, but as fate would have it, she has to face him once again, because no one can forget a Shelby. 

Requested by: @msbzowy​

Summary of request: “...Thomas lost any contact with the reader and one time while on a business deal he meets her because they’re both involved in the business. They would be fighting a lot but eventually something happens between them and the old feelings come back? You can make it sweet or steamy. No specific deal in mind, just like the general idea! Thank you in advance!” 

A/N: This was requested as a oneshot but I had so many great ideas for it based off this awesome request, so I figured I’d turn it into a 2 or 3 part fic possibly. Let me know if that’s something you’d want to read. :)

Part 1 | Part 2

Y/n walked down the wooden staircase after receiving a phone call, one hand gliding down the rail, and the other holding her suitcase. Her nerves consuming her as she ran down the hall and out the door of her house in New York. The spring air filling her lungs as she quickly walked to the edge of the street, attempting to hail a cab. As she waved her hand out, she smiled as she saw one stop and handed him some cash for his efforts. She wasn’t much for pointless conversation, especially now. She was on her way to one of the biggest meetings of her career, a career she had found herself in only 2 years prior. It was a job most people wouldn’t want, but it paid well, and since she fled Small Heath, she needed the income and the protection. 

Small Heath was a series of bittersweet memories. Seeing her friends at the tailor shops, walking down the dark cobblestone streets, and becoming particularly close to a man named Thomas Shelby. After the war, he got heavily involved in the business, dealing with rival gangs, going after commissioners, committing arson, murder, dealing with bets at the tracks, and breaking hearts most of all. In the matter of heartbreaks, y/n was his first true victim. 

As the cab rolled down the city streets, she glanced out the window, remembering all that she left behind. 

Tensions in the blinders were running high at the time of her departure from the company, back when they had a business meeting with a rival group, the Black Hats from New York. The blinders wanted to transport weapons and ammo for a cheaper price because of recent financial troubles, but they weren’t having it and the Black Hats declined, but not without blowing up one of Tommy’s supply areas. This smuggling shit was risky business to say the least, as these were being smuggled along with drugs.....snow to be exact. The little blue bottles were like gold, taking away the pain of the day while giving you the energy to go on to the next, sucking you in like a rip-tide at sea until you were consumed by the need for more. She had been all too familiarized with it because Tommy struck a deal with a huge supply of it before she left. He didn’t use it often, but Arthur was a different story.

It came as a shock to her, as she had been dating Tommy for a year before everything came crashing down. She was confronted by him at a family meeting saying that she needed to leave, that she had no place there despite her skills. She was a great shot and was helpful on many occasions, but to have her there would pose a risk they weren’t willing to take after they bombed him. So, in true Tommy fashion, he gave her some money, bought her a boarding pass, and sent her on her way to New York to start a new life, his cold eyes staring as he watched her board the ship, emotionless.

This only fueled her need to get back at him, to show him what he had lost, while also proving to herself that she didn’t need him as much as he needed her. She could make a name for herself, even if that meant working for the enemy. 

Pulling up to the brick building, she realized she was now in the belly of the beast, the Black Hats home-turf. She was never seen with the Shelby’s when they visited him in Small Heath, as she was always doing secretary work at Tommy’s place, or perched high on rooftops, aiming at the men below who had came to charlies yard for their meetings. She was always out of sight regarding those men, but now here she was, working for them. She came to them seeking any position, lying about where she came from, supplying them with her forged papers, and even hiding her accent. For as big as this gang was, they weren’t the brightest, as they accepted her in with little apprehension. 

She earned a good living for herself though, quickly becoming their main contract killer. She would travel the country and take out the people on their hit list, and in return they’d provide her with housing and a guard that would check in every so often. 

As she walked in through the heavy double doors, she nodded to one of the guards who let her through into the leader, Mr. Romboldi’s office. He smiled as she came in, fiddling with his golden ring around his finger. 

“Ah there she is...little miss Quick Shot. Nice of you to join us.” He said using her nickname she’d earned among her peers. She could hit a target from various angles and distances without much help and came to like the name she made for herself. Y/n soon nodded and stood at attention like the others, ready for the days orders.

“We have some unfinished business in Small Heath, as I’m sure you’re all aware. It’s been a while since we’ve been overseas, and we’re going to send someone tomorrow to discuss our deal once more as they’ve had recent success in a certain business venture that I’m sure we’d appreciate here.” He said with a serious look in his eyes.

“What venture?” One of the men asked.

“Gin. Buying stocks in it, selling bottles, transporting cross-country, we Americans love our gin and Mr. Shelby has a new supply. He tried to low-ball us last time with the ammo, the guns, and the snow, but I’m going to send him an offer he can’t refuse this time.” He said smirking.

“What offer is that?” Y/n asked, putting on her fake accent.

“You.” He said looking at her. Y/n’s heart sank, as she looked at him and nodded. She never wanted to see him again after he booted her out like she meant nothing to him, even if it was to save-face for him and the company and for her safety. 

“You’re going to get him to supply us the gin and get him to pay us full price for our efforts with this am I clear?” He asked.

“Yes sir.” y/n said. 

“If you fail, we’ll be meeting again under very different circumstances.” He said, an evil smile playing at his lips.

She’s known him long enough to know that he meant he’d kill her or Tommy, and as much as she hated the man who broke her heart, she still loved him at the same time, and she couldn’t let him or his family die over a silly business deal.

As soon as she was dismissed, she grabbed her suitcase and headed off to the boating docks, buying a ticket and boarding the ship. She knew her boss didn’t care when she left, as long as she got there sometime that week. And besides, she was too anxious to wait around for tomorrow, knowing this was time sensitive. 

After the grueling ride aboard the ship, she went into London after going through the necessary checks. She used her alias and made her best impression, and then went on to Small Heath as assigned. When she got out of the car, she smirked as her red heels hit the black soil covered streets. Walking by a shop, she saw a women’s tailor and decided to stop in, buying a well made pant suit. It fit well and was a nice gray color with pinstripe detailing. Looking around further, she decided on a gold pocket watch, and nice hat to match, and then went on her way after buying it all. 

Walking down the street, she saw the Garrison, causing all the memories she had with Tommy and the rest of the blinders to start coming back. They were like brothers to her and despite her bitterness, she still loved them, as they were not particularly happy in seeing her go, as that was solely Tommy’s decision. 

Y/n shook the thoughts from her head, and waited outside the shop, leaning her back against the coal-black wall. While lighting a cigarette and taking a drag from it, she looked off into the distance seeing a man in a peaked cap riding a dark horse, much different than the white one she saw two years ago. As he pulled up near Shelby Company Ltd. He stopped in his tracks as y/n took another drag of her cigarette, looking at her pocket watch.  

“Nice horse Tommy. You’re right on time.” She said relishing in the fact that she could use her normal accent. Her sunglasses and new brimmed hat helped in disguising her face.

“Thank you miss....Who are you?” He asked his eyes burning a hole through her shaded lenses. She smirked and took them and the hat off, revealing her face.

“Y/n...” He said, his eyes growing wide. He immediately took her inside and to his office, shutting the door behind him. 

“What on earth are ya fucking doing here?” He asked.

“That’s not a nice greeting for someone you haven’t seen in two years Tom. But given what happened I didn’t expect anything nice from you anyways. I’m here on business.” She said, walking past him to put her cigarette out. He watched as she walked towards him, her arms folded over her well-fitting suit, standing in front of him.

“What business is that?” He asked. 

“Oh you know, just a little...mafia business back in New York. Nothing too big... except that you’ve pissed off my boss. And now I’m sent here to try to make a deal.” She said making herself at home in one of his leather armchairs. He raised an eyebrow and sat on the edge of his desk near her. 

“What deal? Who are you working for y/n?” He asked.

“The Black Hats. Mr Romboldi to be exact...ring a bell yet? The son of a bitch who took me in after you booted me out without a goodbye? Yeah, him. He still remembers your little low-ball offer for the guns, the ammo, and-” She chuckled as she remembered the drugs. “-the fucking snow.” She said giving him daggers.

He looked down, y/n could see the gears turning in his head.

“I told you to leave and not go anywhere near them y/n. Why the hell are ya working for em aye?” He asked angrily. 

“You and I both know I couldn’t just sit around twiddling my thumbs and making pies for someone I never loved all day. I wasn’t going to be some house wife to some old bastard while I could’ve been out shooting and working a meaningful job. I wasn’t going to let myself rot.” She said, her own voice raising. 

“You didn’t have to choose this life though. You could’ve left this behind like I wanted you to.” He said lighting a cigarette. 

Y/n chuckled. “I remember what you told me one time, when I first started getting involved in Peaky business. You said and I quote, ‘you can change what you do, but you can’t change what you want.’ And you know what Tommy? I wanted this life, I wanted you, I wanted to make a name for myself, I wanted the thrill of this job because I often feel nothing. But I’ve only gotten half of that.” She said getting up, pacing around the room as he watched.

“What did you not get y/n?” He asked too focused on the mafia issue at hand to realize she mentioned him.

“You, you fucking idiot! But you threw me out, no goodbyes, no letters, nothing.” She said, her eyes filling up with tears.

“Y/n...that was two years ago. I was trying to protect you.” He said noticing the tears running down her face. 

“I had a job. I had a life here. I’m not expecting you to ever want me back but god damn it I’d like an apology. Hell, you didn’t protect me from shit.” She said, thinking about some of the things she had to do to get through to some people for her boss. She shuddered at the thought.

He looked hurt, seeing her like that, and despite it being two years since that day, he still loved her all the same, he was just terrible at showing it. He never thought he’d see her again, and in that moment he decided he wasn’t going to let her go again. 

She wiped her eyes as she felt him walk up behind her, she tensed up, not knowing what would happen next. He put his hand on her shoulder lightly, and she turned around to face him, her eyes still bright and hopeful after all that had happened. He loved her, and after she left, he mentally beat himself up over it every day. He turned to snow for a while, along with his opium, but what he truly needed was y/n. Fearing she may be too angry to every take him back, he hesitated as he brushed the tears from her cheek and kissed her. 

Instead of slapping him or walking out, she deepened the kiss, which surprised Tommy, as he pulled her as close has he could, not wanting to let her go. When they parted, lightly gasping for air, he smiled slightly and so did she. 

“I-I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry y/n.” He said stepping back from her.

She looked at him as she processed what happened, she never expected to fall right back into his arms after all she went through, but here she was, being sucked in by his ocean blue eyes once again. 

She straightened her blazer out and pushed a stray hair out of her face. 

“Why did you kiss me Thomas?” Y/n asked taking another cigarette out of her pocket and lighting it. 

Thomas thought for a moment, trying to pick his words less recklessly this time around.

“When I forced you out, I stayed up every night beating myself up. I’ll never get those nights back, but those nights made me realize something y/n.” He said.

“If you’re going to break my heart again just say it already.” She said tapping her heel impatiently. 

“I love you...y/n.” He said looking at her, studying her as she moved anxiously. He loved the way she looked, the way she carried herself, the way she wasn’t afraid to call him out. But he was terrified for the first time in his life that the woman he loved wouldn't return those very words back to him.

She looked down, exhaling a cloud of smoke. “I came here not only because of an order Tom...but because deep down despite my hate for what you did, I knew why you did it. And even though two fucking years have passed, I still haven’t been able to get you out of my head. So, I guess what the fuck I’m trying to say is that I love you too, you bastard.” She said looking up at him a light smile playing at her lips.

He smiled and walked over to her and took her hand in his, kissing it lightly. 

“I promise to never do something so foolish again y/n. I swear on me fucking life...so am I forgiven?” He asked.

She took his words into consideration and nodded, bringing his lips to hers. Breaking away, she walked around the room slowly, remembering all of their fun times in here after-hours. 

“So, about Mr. Romboldi, y/n how serious is this?” He asked.

“Well, he said that you’ll have to pay them full price for their services. He wants your gin. He sent me to persuade you to pay him for distribution and sales in the states......and It’s not easy Tommy, smuggling things.... especially alcohol back to the states........I hate him and his men believe me, but they risk their lives getting that kind of stuff so I think you should consider paying a full price.” She said.

“And if I don’t?” He asked. 

Y/n sighed. “I was also sent here because he knew you couldn’t refuse an offer if it came from a pretty woman. Now, he may have been right on that part, but he doesn’t know that I’ve been working under an alias for him, and he doesn’t know I know you. They think my name is Y/N Anderson, from Virginia. And so if you don’t take this offer, they’re going to find out, and then Mr. Romboldi and his men are gonna waltz in here and kill you, me, and everyone you care about because they’ve already been wronged once, and they don’t like being wronged a second time.” She said sternly, taking another drag from her cigarette.

He sighed and ran his hands over his head, his face growing angry.

“What is it Tommy?” Y/n asked, noticing his behavior. 

“After all this time, I thought maybe I’d be done for a moment y/n. With this whole empire of a business. But I think that moment will never come...before I stupidly forced you away, I had everything. I had this going great, and at night I could sleep. But now, when I do sleep, I dream. And in my dream, someone wants my crown.” He said with a sad look to his eyes. Y/n came over to him and hugged him gently, feeling him relax at her touch.

“Well, I’m here now. And the only way you’re going to get a break and get to keep your crown is if you help me fucking take care of this Thomas.” She said. 

He sighed and took a moment to think.

“Alright...in that case...you’re going to call him from a payphone tomorrow. You’re going to say I accept his offer now that we have the fucking funds to do so, and you’re going to tell him we can meet in a weeks time. We’ll meet in charlies yard again.” He said.

“So we have a deal then?” She asked grinning, still embracing him.

“We have a deal.” He said. 

“So now that I’m here...where shall I stay?” She asked.

“Well, first I’m going to re-introduce you to the family which I’m sure they’ll love. Then, I’ll be taking you to my place.” He said.

“And why is that?” She asked a mischievous smile playing at her lips.

“Because we have some unfinished business.” He said, before pecking her lips and ushering y/n out the door and into the family meeting room.

[inquisitive-mess]

A Slice of Happiness Part 3

Including Sibylle of Cleves by @blackdiamondwrites127 and Katherine Tudor by @ellielovesdrawing.

Mention of Jane Paker by @altairtalisman

T/W: Hint of Past Trauma and Abuse

Sibylle and Ann soon reach a nice gated neighborhood after taking the Tube. Ann didn't realize how tall Sibylle was until they went on train where she saw how uncomfortable Sibylle was while sitting. Ann try her best to help her out, but there was only so much she can do inside train car. This made Ann feel bad because she usually takes this whenever she works late since she doesn't bring her vehicle often to work due to parking issues. Once they arrived at their stop and got off the train, Sibylle was finally free from her torment and stretch a little before walking out of the station as Ann trail behind her. Ann try to apologize, but Sibylle stop her before she can and told her that she chose to take the Underground known the consequence of it. She also explained that it would be whole lot cheaper than getting a ride from one of those ride sharing companies, where they have to pay extra to get a larger vehicle to accommodate her height and doesn't like them for to GPS reason and them knowing where she lived. Ann completely understand where Sibylle is coming from.

Sibylle soon walk to a stand that had a keypad on it near in front of the gate, punch in a codes, the gates doors begin opening, and both went through it as they head to her house. Ann look around the area as she was walking and started to thinking about how nice this place was. It was quiet and sees that everyone who was living here has some form of privacy. She really does like it, but she really prefers where she lives. It true it isn't gated neighborhood, but she likes the open space she has at her house because it's easier to look up at the sky at night and she has more privacy due to her neighbor's properties being a little far part from each other. They soon arrived at Sibylle's house and walk up to the door. Sibylle then pull out her keys, push one of the keys inside the keyhole to turn it, pull it out, turn the doorknob to open the door, and both walk inside the house. Ann closed the door behind her as Sibylle said " Babe, I'm home." A russian bear dog and a tibetan mastiff came running out and Sibylle kneel down to let them give her some affection. Ann was mostly surprised by the size of dogs because she hasn't dogs this big and wonder if this was normal. Sibylle soon got up and told her " This is Oz and Killjoy. These are our pets and part of the family. We have white cat too named Malky." Kath then came out from a room, head to Sibylle, and gave each other a kiss. Ann stood silent as she watch them and their love kind of remind her of the love she had with her husband long ago. They broke a way from each other and Kath talk " I'm glad you guys got here safely. I was going to say what took you guys when I remembered that took you to work today because your bike was giving you some trouble this morning and your friend told you when you took it his place that it isn't going to be ready until tomorrow. Did Ann drive you guys here or got a ride from someone?" Ann answer " I don't usually bring my vehicle to work, so we took the Tube. I pay for Siby ticket, since I have a travel card. It's the least I can do for what happen and to make up for making Sibylle endure the discomfort she had riding it." Sibylle then said " Which I already told you that it was my decision to take it and how I don't trust those ride sharing companies at all. Plus it wasn't too bad once you get in the right position and I dealt with worse." Kath smiled as she listened and told Ann " I got your change of clothes ready. Let me go get them while you put your dessert in the fridge." Kath leave them and Sibylle escort Ann to the kitchen with Oz and Killjoy following them.

Once Ann put her dessert in the fridge, Kath came back with couple of clothes in her hands, and told Ann as she hand them to her " I got you some shirts of mine to try on, since I didn't know which one would fit you and Ibby clothes would be too big on you." Ann nod and said " Thank you. Where is bathroom, so I can change?" Sibylle answer " Down the hall on your right." Ann heard Sibylle, nodded, and head to it. When she got there, she open the door to walk inside, turn on the light, and lock the door behind her. She place the shirts on the counter, start taking her jacket off, then her shirt, fold them, and place them on the other side of the counter. She went to sink, turn the bathroom faucet to release some water, and begin washing her face. Once she was done, she wipe her face on a towel to dry it and went on trying one of the shirts. The first shirt she try was too short for her making like she had a crop top on and was exposing her discoloration skin on her lower back area. She should of figure it would be difficult for her since Kath was lot smaller than her and wouldn't fit her properly. She took it off, place it on the side, and went on to the next shirt. Each shirt she tried on, she felt more nervous seeing each one of them not fitting her correctly and exposing her discoloration. She didn't want them to know about it because then they would ask questions and she don't want talk it, since it only brought back bad memories of her time in the orphanage and don't want them to see her breakdown completely. The reason Jane knows about it is due the rainstorm they got caught up in and knew Jane wasn't going to say anything about it being that they are in same boat with their guilt of the past. Ann was at the last shirt in the pile and this scared her the most seeing that she doesn't have anymore attempts to hide it. She slowly put it on and expecting it not to fit her when she saw it covered her body completely. She looked at herself in the mirror and move her body and arms around a bit to see if it will show any skin on her lower body area. When it didn't, she smile as her worries slowly dissolve, folded the other shirts that didn't fit, open the bathroom door, grab her clothes and others in each hand, turn off the light using her elbow, and walk out of it to head to where Sibylle and Kath was.

When Ann arrived at the sitting room, Sibylle just got done explaining to Kath what happened to them and why Ann was staying the night as they were sitting on the couch next to each with Oz and Killjoy laying on the floor. Kath said to Sibylle " That's crazy. I can't believe that happen to you guys. Thank goodness those officers were there to take that man away." Kath noticed Ann was done changing and said " Look like that shirt fit you perfectly. I had that shirt for awhile now and it was always too big for me to wear. I try giving to Ibby, but it was too tight for her. You have it since I'm not going wear it." Ann look down at her shirt and told Kath " Thanks" Kath then said " And I would to say thanks you for stopping the situation between Ibby and the older man. She told me that she would of hit him, if it had escalated and would of been arrested too. I would hate to see her lock up and be with other terrible people. Not saying she can't defend herself, because she know shit." Ann chuckle a little as she saw Kath got nervous at the end and Sibylle told her" Babe, Ann already know a bit of my past." Ann answer " And that was one of the reasons why I wanted to stopping it." Kath sighed out of relief thinking she may have exposed something about Sibylle's past she didn't want people to know about and was happy that Ann was okay with it. Kath knows how personal Sibylle gets whenever someone mentions her past choices and knew Sibylle was trying to be a better person.

Once they were done talking, Kath got up and ask them" Have you guys eat anything? I can whip up something really quick." Ann told Kath " No, it's okay. You don't need to do that. I ate something earlier before Siby came to my shop." It was kind of the truth since she did eat lunch, but that was roughly six hours ago. Ann was a little hungry, but she didn't want to bother them anymore than she already have. It bad enough that this whole evening Ann has cause nothing but trouble for Sibylle and now Kath. Sibylle already knew Ann was lying due to fact that she started to understand Ann personally and how defensive she can be. She also knew it isn't going to be easy to convince her to eat something. Kath used her obverseation skill as she look at Ann and saw all of signs that Ann was lying. She also notices that Ann seem to be the type who would put up a fight if asked directly, so she have to try a different way to persuade Ann. Kath smiled and said " Okay, but I'm going you make some anyway, since you are a guest in this house and not going let you eat nothing. Ibby can you show Ann the bedroom she going be sleeping in while I'm cooking something small for you guys." Ann was ready to protest when Sibylle already wrap one of her arm behind Ann and begin guiding her to the room. Sibylle told Ann as they were walking " Just to let you know, Kath can tell when someone is lying to her, so there no point on hiding it because you're not going to win this fight." Ann sighed softly when she heard this and Sibylle saw her reaction which she then said " And if you thinking that you are being a bother, you're not. We want you to eat and feel relaxed here especially what kind of day you had. Plus it would make Kath feel happy that she being a good hostess, since we don't get a lot of people visiting us." Ann heard all this and made her a little nervous about it.

They arrived at the room and Sibylle open the door to it, which was nice simple room with a bed, bedside table, table lamp, and small chest. Ann walking inside it and look around it see that she kind of like it while Sibylle lean on the side of the doorframe watching her. Sibylle then ask Ann " Do you want me put your clothes in the washing machine while you are here?" Ann shook her head and answer " Thanks for offer, but I can wait until I get home to wash them. You can get me a bag to put it in though and tell me where to place these clothes. You guys have done enough for me already." Sibylle nodded, grab the spare from Ann showing her that she will take care of it, left for a bit, and came back with a plastic bag to hand to Ann. Ann took it, open it up to place her shirt and jacket in, tie it up,and place her bagged clothes on table. Once Ann put the bag on the table, Ann ask " Siby" She turn her head to Sibylle and continue " Are you sure it's really okay for me to spend the night here? I would understand if you doing all this because you still believe that you owe me for the laptop and my injuries that you accidentally caused me." The truth was that Ann has been nervous the moment she got here. That why she trying so hard not accepting anything and hasn't said much because she's worry that she made do something wrong and they hate her for it. Ann also believes that the reason Sibylle is doing all this was because the debt Sibylle made for herself for Ann. Sibylle could see Ann uncertainty in her face and was ready to answer her when they heard Kath telling them dinner was ready. Sibylle walk up to Ann with a small smile and told her " Let's go. We don't want to keep Kath waiting." Sibylle soon walking away leaving Ann to herself which cause to think maybe that the reason why she was being generous to her. Ann soon follow and head to the kitchen. Unknown to Ann, what she had said to Sibylle in the room made her start to think about why Ann thought this and wonder if there was a reason behind it.

When Ann got the kitchen, Kath told Ann to go to table where Ibby was sitting at and she will serve them. Ann acknowledged, head to where Sibylle was, and sat down across from her. Ann wait patiently as wait for Kath while Sibylle looked at Ann thinking what she said to her and wonder if Ann really though that. It's true that Sibylle does want to repay back Ann for everything she done and for accidently decking her, but she also does want to be friends with her. Sibylle though she was doing everything right and was trying to be her friend, but after hearing what Ann said, Sibylle knew that there was a missing piece in this and she need figure out what it was. Kath soon came with the meal and place them in front of them. Kath smile and told them " Hope you like it. I want to do something simple since it is late at night." Ann took one look at the meal and everything inside her crash down. It was box macaroni and cheese and Ann didn't absolutely nothing, but stare at it as Sibylle thanking Kath and begin eating it as Kath left to clean up. This is the one meal in her adolescent life that she didn't think she would ever see again because all she can remember was her being all alone in the orphanage eating this when it was cold and mixed together with other foods that was left behind after the children had their meal. Her meals were made of the scrapes of whatever meal was prepared for the children that day. She wasn't allowed to saying anything about it because that resulted her losing the meal and be thrown away in front of her leaving her hungry all day or the evening. Ann try her very best not react to it when she saw this and wanted to eating it to make Kath happy, but the memories of the past was stopping her from doing that. Sibylle quickly notice this and try to call Ann out, but Ann got so deep in her memories that Sibylle got up, stretched her arm out, and place her hand on her shoulder, which snap Ann out of it. Ann look up at Sibylle once this happen and Sibylle asked " Are you alright?" Ann look down at her food for a bit before looking back up at Sibylle and answer her" Yeah, I'm okay. Sorry about that. The meal just bought back some memories, that all." Sibylle sat back down and was relieved that Ann was okay, but it make her wonder what just happen. She remembered Ann had a similar look when they went to zoo and when she was at her shop. It was when look their meal when something click in Sibylle's mind. Was it macaroni and cheese? Did something happen in Ann's past that was the result to it? Sibylle wasn't completely sure, but she did want to help her by easing her mind a little, so she can eat something and told her" Hey Ann, if you want something different. I'm sure Kath has no problem making it and I can eat this, so it doesn't go to waste."

As soon as Sibylle grab Ann's plate with her hand, Ann quickly grab Sibylle wrist with her hand, which caught Sibylle completely off guard, and said quietly as she let go of Sibylle's wrist slowly " Sorry" Ann quickly compose herself, so she can answer Sibylle. After calming herself, she replied "It's okay, Siby, I can eat this. No reason to bother Kath with some trivial." Ann soon pick up her utensil and begin eating her meal. It was bad as she remembered it, but can a least say it taste better warm than cold. Sibylle would of call out Ann for what just happen, but she took this as she may have overstepped Ann's boundaries when trying to take her food away from her without warning, which cause her to be defensive. She would done something similar, if someone did that to her. They both stay quietly as they ate their meal didn't know what to say to break the ice. Kath got done cleaning and went back to the table where Sibylle and Ann sitting only to see the death silent between them. Kath didn't know what happened when she was gone, but she need to do something to brighten up the mood. She sat next to Sibylle and ask Ann " Ibby told me that you own a small electronic shop where you fixed anything that's electronic and rebuild computers. That must be fun job to do." Both Ann and Sibylle can tell Kath was at least trying to lighten up the mood, so Ann answer " Yeah, it kind of is. I do enjoy fixing things and do custom order for my customers." Sibylle was little happy with Kath that this was working and started to make Ann feel comfortable. Kath continued " Ibby also told me that you were the one who made her current laptop. She used her laptop all the time and tell me how much she loved it, especially how you got her loved for Wicked." Ann scratch behind her head and try be humble since she not use to getting all of this compliments. Ann said " It was nothing. I just saw her old one was was on it last leg and want to help out. That all." Kath then said "And you must be smart considering that you help out the students and professors in surrounding universities and colleges with their needs. I bet your parents must be proud of you." This is where everything crashed completely and dim the mood heavily. Ann already finished with her meal got up from the table and said emotionless " I'm going head to bed. I got work in the morning. Thanks for everything." Ann begin walking away when Sibylle grab her wrist to stop her, but Ann just gave her a look, which Sibylle knew all to well, and she let go of her. Kath then try stopping Ann and try to convince her to stay, so she can apologize, but Sibylle stop her and told her that Ann need time to herself. Ann continue walking until she was the spare bedroom and closed the door behind.

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[thedenimdentist]

Flame Panda: worth the hype?

Introduction

For those of you who are pretty invested in handmade, hand welted, MTM boots, Flame Panda needs no introduction. In fact, if you aren’t already familiar with this small boot making family out of a small village in China, then maybe you aren’t actually the boot enthusiast you believe yourself to be. lol just kidding. But really, for anyone interested in high quality, beautifully built boots, Flame Panda is a brand worth looking into. Their main source of advertising and business is through their instagram @flamepanda11, which is run by their Peng. They're still a relatively small family owned business, but they’re following is growing exponentially (and for good reason). 

I would go more into the background of their business and what they have to offer, but nothing I could write would compare to the information covered by Jake @almostvintagestyle on his blog: his review of his beautiful chunky monkey boots and an interview with Peng himself. So, if you’d like more background information on what Peng and Flame Panda have to offer, head over to his blog. Otherwise, on with the unboxing/review!

Ordering Process

As with most boot brands out of Asia lately, Flame Panda boots can be ordered via DM through his Instagram @flamepanda11. Unfortunately, there is no website or catalog listing all the patterns, leathers, or customization options he has available. Luckily Peng is very helpful and open to discussion regarding your MTO boots. He takes an active role in creating you the best boots possible, giving constructive input and suggestions rather than just mindlessly giving you whatever you ask for. Peng knows his materials and abilities best, and has a solid grasp on how to combine the two to create a quality product that meets both yours and his satisfaction.

The following are the exact details I requested regarding these black boots:

Model: 6 inch boots

Last: 181 last

Upper leather: black Maryam horsebutt

Upper stitching: black

Hardware: 5 copper eyelets, 2 quick hooks, 1 eyelet

Toe design: brogued cap toe, unstructured

Welt construction: 270° 2 row stitchdown (beige)

Lining: kangaroo

Midsole: single leather midsole

Edge finish: natural edge

Sole: black Dr. Sole half sole/heel

Heel design: incline curved

Sizing

For those of you who haven’t read my reviews before, my feet are stricken with large bunions on the pinky sides of my feet. As a result, picking shoe sizes have always been extremely difficult. (See my previous reviews for details). Below I’ve listed my sizes for all the other boot brands I own.

Thursdays - 10.5

Onderhoud - 45E

Benzein - 45E

Red Wing, Iron Ranger - 9.5EE

Truman Boot Company - 11EE

Viberg (1035 last) - 10.5

In trying to determine what size I would be in his boots, I sent Peng all the following images/information:

As many helpful measurements I could think, with images of how I took those measurements.

I also informed him that I wear this thick, memory foam orthotic in all my footwear.

And lastly, I provided him with a photo and the dimensions of the removable insole of another pair of boots that fit perfectly (in this case, my Onderhoud derbies). I also took photo of how my orthotic relates to these insoles, as well as a photo with my ugly foot. (TMI? Possibly. But I’d rather provide too much information than not enough, and it definitely paid off.)

Now that I think about it, I don't even know what size Peng ended up making for me. Regardless, these boots ended up fitting perfectly. This goes to show that Peng really knows what he’s doing, and can size you appropriately if given enough information. 

Price & Shipping

For this particular boot in black Maryam horsebutt, Peng charged $685 USD including global shipping. I purchased these boots on 6/29/2020, and was quoted an unusually specific 95 day wait time. However, I didn't end up receiving these until 12/29/2020. While this is significantly longer than expected, Peng kept me up to date in his progress via Instagram DMs, so I never felt forgotten. (He told me that he and his family were moving locations during this time and production was running behind schedule. I didn’t mind, as I COVID was keeping me home majority of the time and didn’t have any reason to wear these boots anyway.) These days, I believe his wait time is closer to six months (which still really isn’t too bad for MTM boots).

Unboxing

Securely packaged, with tape as no object.

A box inside a box. A nice touch, actually. A lot of other boot companies simply ship the single boot box wrapped in butcher paper and tape, which often results in some minor box damage. In this case, the outer protective box took all the beating during transit, leaving the actual boot box in pristine condition. While this doesn’t have any affect on the quality of the boots themselves, it’s a good demonstration of the care and thought that Peng puts into all aspects of his products. He really holds himself to a higher standard, and I appreciate it.

Another reason to love Peng. He typically includes a small gift with every boot order! In this case, this nice little wallet. 

In addition to the complementary thinner, cheaper single boot bags that most boot companies provide, Peng also included a larger canvas drawstring boot bag with a screen printed logo.

These boots came with three sets of laces. They were pre-laced with some standard width, flat, waxed cotton laces. Included in the box were two additional sets of laces: a pair of wider flat waxed cotton laces, and some round waxed cotton laces. 

360 Degree View

Left boot:

Right boot:

Sole:

The Leather

The black Maryam horsebutt Peng used on these boots is absolutely gorgeous. The leather feels very substantial and hefty, and has a very nice sheen. The horsebutt also has a very subtle marbling and grain that shines through from certain angles. It’s a little difficult to capture in photos due to the deep black coloring of the leather, but you can take my word for it. These are incredible.

From what I’ve seen, I believe Peng is one of the best in the business when it comes to hide selection and clicking. He is extremely picky when determining what portions of each hide he actually uses on his boots. For instance, here is an example of him picking apart a hide, circling all the imperfections that he plans on excluding during clicking for boots.

This critical eye for detail increases Peng’s overhead considerably, as a significant portion of his leather is filtered out as unusable and unfit for boots. While this does increase the cost of his boots relative to other smaller boot brands coming out of Asia, it is also a big reason why the leather on his boots consistently break in and age so well. I have yet to see a pair of Flame Panda boots that have any unsightly creasing or loose grain, and I’m sure my pair will be no exception.

The 181 Last

Here’s a closer look at the tope shape of the 181 last. It’s got a nice almond toe shape without going overboard with pointy-ness. The outer sweep of the toe box has a more gradual, soft curve than the Onderhoud last, and even more so the Benzein Kujang last. It’s a clean and strong shape, with more of a sophisticated vibe than your typical work boot.

Outsole

Nice and clean outsole stitching by hand, with no overly wonky stitches.

The Liner

I chose to have this pair fully lined with a warm brown kangaroo leather. This makes the upper feel even more robust and structured (especially noticeable around the ankle/shaft of the boot), and gives them a bit more of a luxurious feel when on foot. (Also, note the half gusseted tongue. I highly prefer gusseted tongues over the standard floppy tongue. I specified during my order that I wanted a gusseted tongue, so I’m not 100% sure this tongue would come standard. Might be worth asking when/if you do order a pair for yourself.)

The Brogued Cap Toe

This is my first boot with a brogued cap toe. While I still think I prefer plain toes on my boots, I do like how this brogued cap looks here.

270 Degree Stitchdown Construction

Peng is probably most known for his 360° storm + embedded eversion welt. However, it is on the chunkier side, and I felt it would take away from the clean, sleeker look of this boot. Thus, I opted for double row stitchdown construction, which I think turned out quite nicely.

Peng’s welt stitching is very tight, parallel, and uniform, with a higher stitch count. Esthetically, I think it looks pretty similar to the 270° veldschoen stitching on my derbies from @renavgoodsco (seen at the 12 o’clock position below).

12 o’clock: Renav 270° veldschoen

2 o’clock: Truman 270° stitchdown

4 o’clock: Ostmo boots 270° custom welt stitching

6 o’clock: Benzein 270° veldschoen

8 o’clock: Role Club 270° flat welt

10 o’clock: Onderhoud 270° veldschoen

Inclined Curved Heel

If you haven’t been able to tell already, these are not the inclined curved heels (aka woodsman heels) that I had initially requested. While this is a pretty significant misstep on Peng’s end, I actually don’t mind too much. For low block heels, these appear to have been executed very cleanly, and it does complement the rest of the boot pattern quite nicely. If I had been dead set on having woodsman heels on these boots, I could see this being more of a dealbreaker. 

Upper Stitching

Overall, the stitching on the upper is clean and tight, with a very uniform stitch count. There are a few spots where there are a few mis-stitches, which I will point out later. For now, here are a few macro shots to appreciate Peng’s stitch work.

One area on the upper where the stitching isn’t exactly perfect is along the left cap toe. As you can see below, there is one spot in the broguing pattern where it gets a little too close to the double row of stitches, and the thread actually tore into the brogue hole. Functional issue? No. But just something small I noticed.

A second spot that might be considered less than perfect is this stitching on the right boot, where the quarters meet the vamp. It looks like there may be an extra stitch in the vertical line extending beyond the horizontal stitch. This is seen on both the inside and outside quarters, and only on the right boot. (I included a pic of the stitching on the left boot a few photos back, where you can see the stitch lines come to a perfect T.) Again, this is being extremely nit-picky, and has no real bearing on the durability or quality of the boot itself.

A third and possibly the (relatively) biggest stitching imperfection was this loose thread on the front corner of the inside right quarter. It appears as though the end of the thread came out of the stitch hole. I later trimmed the loose thread and singed it with a lighter to prevent it from progressing, but there is still an empty stitch hole in the leather where the thread once was.

While we’re on the topic of imperfections, there is also a little bit of what appears to be black polish smeared along the brown welt of the right boot. Not a big issue, nor is it even a stitching or construction issue. Again, just thought I’d point it out to be thorough.

On Foot

First off, I would just like to praise Peng for absolutely nailing the fit of these boots. My feet are ugly and stupid, and sizing any footwear has always been a nightmare. However, using just the measurements and information I provided above (since getting measured in person was not an option), he still managed to build a perfectly fitting boot for my imperfectly shaped feet. I’ve worn them a few times now, and I’ve had zero pain whatsoever.

That being said, these boots are by far some of the stiffest boots I’ve ever worn—in a good way. I can tell these will require a good amount of wear to really break them in and have them relax and shape to my foot, but I’m looking forward to it. (Note, I’m in no way saying that this extended break in period will be at all painful; rather, just that it’ll take some time for the upper leather and sole to soften up.) These boots feel like tanks, and lacing these up make my feet feel invincible. I felt like Steph Curry wearing double ankle braces when I first tried walking in these, but the shafts are slowly starting to break in and roll with wear. The soles were also initially very rigid (like I was walking on planks of wood), but are beginning to flex more as I continue to wear these. Also note that I had these built on single leather midsoles! I can’t even imagine how stiff these would be if they had 1.5 or double layer midsoles (which are a quite popular request, from what I’ve seen on Peng’s Instagram).

Conclusions

I know it’s still early, but I can confidently say that these Flame Panda boots are one of the highest quality boots in my collection. They are definitely the most robust, and despite a few minor finishing issues, the level of cleanliness and finishing by Peng and his family is unmatched by the majority of boot makers worldwide (at least from what I’ve seen on Instagram). Other than maybe Goto-San of White Kloud (@show_goto), Peng is one of the best at not only sourcing beautiful leathers, but clicking as well. I have yet to see a pair of his boots with any unsightly creasing or grain, which gives me the confidence to recommend him to anyone who may be interested in purchasing a pair of these, or any of his other boot patterns. 

I apologize if this has started to sound like a sponsored or endorsed advertisement, but I genuinely love these boots, and I believe Peng is a great dude who deserves the recognition he has been receiving lately. He is super generous and genuine, easy to talk to (albeit sometimes slow to respond, with the sheer volume of DMs he now receives), and is constantly striving to improve his materials and skills. And with a personality and passion like that, how could anyone not want to support him? These may have been my first pair of Flame Pandas, but they definitely aren't the last. (In fact, they’re already not. lol)

Anyway, hit me up via Instagram if you have any questions about Peng, Flame Panda, or anything else denim/boots related. Also, follow along over there to see how these stunning black Maryam horsebutt boots age with wear. I’m excited to see how they break in, and so should you. Ttfn!

[purplesurveys]

1159

survey by -egocentricity-

Describe the last time you...

Went swimming: It was in Nasugbu with Angela, Sofie, and Gab nearly a couple of years ago. We wanted to go to a nearby beach before the semester started, so we planned the trip at the last minute and literally just right after we enrolled for our classes.

Went on a date: It was at BGC at this nice, romantic French restaurant. Then as we headed back to the car we spotted a jazz bar that had a live band performing, so we took a detour there to have drinks and nachos.

Were hurt by someone you love: My mom says a lot of hurtful things all the time I’ve stopped keeping track of them and letting them affect me too much, but I’m sure she’s done it recently.

Did something nice for yourself: I got myself a night lamp to improve the ambience in my room and make it feel even more homey. The lamp I had before it was just something I borrowed from my parents and it had white light, so it didn’t feel the most calming. The one I have right now emits this soft yellow shade that makes me feel infinitely more relaxed.

Did something nice for someone else: I ordered KFC at like 1 AM last Wednesday because I was feeling hungry and there was nothing at home that could meet my cravings, and aside from getting orders for my parents I also got a Zinger for my delivery driver as a way to thank him and lift his spirits for working that late into the night.

Were injured: I always sport some sort of scratch or gash somewhere on my body these days from playing with Cooper. This morning I got a new wound on one of my knuckles since he was pulling on his leash way too hard when I was walking him.

Went to the hospital: I had to take blood and urine tests last May to figure out what was wrong with me since I had been sick for a week by that point. That was also during the peak of the pandemic, so there was a lot of anxiety about me catching Covid. It turned out to be a UTI, and even though that technically sucks the whole family was relieved it wasn’t Covid.

Understood something that previously confused you: I had my dad explain to me how buying and bidding for houses works. Hahaha I am sooooo not equipped to be a fully-functioning adult.

Faked sick to get out of going to class: I don’t think I ever did this. If I had wanted to skip class, I just skipped it.

Hung out with your friends: I went to Perfy’s with 7 friends shortly before it shut down for good as a result of the pandemic. We had some beer and bar chow, and to be completely frank it felt quite nice to have that one night where things felt normal again, as ignorant as it was. We vaped until we were dizzy and some of them smoked too much that the smell ended up clinging to me and my clothes, but luckily I got home when my whole family was already in their rooms so no one was able to smell me.

Met someone new: There’s this girl who recently got onboarded to one of our client brands and we started working with her about a week or two ago. She’s honestly been a bit over the place, but I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt because she’s fairly new at a particularly hectic time in her workplace. My first impression of her was that she gave such a strong UP vibe so I looked her up on Facebook, and it turns out we went to the same college and the same high school.

Did something that you were afraid to do: A couple of months ago I had a one-on-one video call organized by the CEO of my employer so that she could get to know me better. She was super nice and listened attentively to my answers to all her questions, but it was easy to tell she wanted to see what I could bring to the table and how well I could mesh with the team especially since I’ve never met her and everyone else in person, so I made sure my social game was maxed out for those 15 minutes haha.

Did something you promised you would never do: I vaped literally half an hour ago. I never expected to form a habit out of it especially after being vehemently against any form of smoking for most of my life. Not particularly proud of it but then again I’m here for a good time and not a long time lmao.

Regretted something: Lazada had this huge app-wide sale last week and their Hydro Flasks were like ₱600 cheaper, but I didn’t buy it because I was feeling stingy that day haha. Now the products are back to their normal price and they’ll probably never get to be that cheap again :( There’s another sale happening tomorrow but the discounts aren’t as big, but I’ll probably place an order this time.

Went shopping: I went to H&M last January to get Andi a late Christmas present. I asked Leigh what they would appreciate as a gift, and she told me they’d wanted to start experimenting with feminine clothes so I got them a nice black skirt and this really elegant dress (that I honestly wanted for myself). I heard they cried once they opened the paper bag, and making people cry with the gifts you get them will always be one of the best feelings ever haha.

Asked someone out/were asked out: Idk, it was 5 years ago and nothing I want to remember anymore.

Broke up with someone: I’ve never broken up with someone.

Had someone break up with you: It was terrible and the stuff of all my nightmares combined, and it happened in the middle of an already-shitty month to boot so I had little hope for myself to come out of it alive. I had everything planned and ironed out and all that was left was for me to leave. 

It’s been 7 months and I’ve never felt emotionally and mentally better and healthier.

Were heartbroken: I follow this animal rescue NGO on Facebook and they regularly post about dogs who’ve lived through awful situations and need urgent care and forever homes to live in. Fortunately the page has a wide reach and regularly gets support, and I try to donate to their bank account as often as I can.

You were angry with someone: Haven’t directed my anger towards anyone in a while.

You felt "in love" with someone: It was during the time I was still reeling over the breakup and was caught in an endless loop of still being in love with them and forcing myself to finally detach.

You wanted something unrealistic: I was at the rooftop this morning and I could feel the temperature getting warmer every hour, and when I finally couldn’t tolerate the heat and was forced to go back indoors I felt super annoyed because all I want is to live somewhere with a chilly climate all-year round hahaha UGH

You made someone angry: It was when I spilled a tiny drop of soup onto the dining table and my mom had a complete meltdown about it. After 89457843957 years of her getting mad at First World Problems I wasn’t intimidated by her anymore, but it still irked me at how something so little can piss her off so I just decided not to speak a word for the rest of the night.

You made someone's day: I hope I made my delivery driver’s night when I got him his burger as a surprise. I hold so much respect and appreciation for them considering they’ve been working very hard to get people’s goods to their doorsteps in the midst of a global pandemic.

Tried something new: When I bought my lamp it was the first time I got something to decorate my room. I usually spend all my money on food, so that was a nice change to try out.

Tried your best: I always try my best at work and to make each day more improved than the last.

Didn't try at all: A couple of nights ago I asked my dad to light up my scented candle and he challenged me to try lighting up a matchstick by myself for once. I was all primed and ready to go, but backed out at the last second :(( I told him there was a big chance I could freak out, drop the lit matchstick. and set something in the dining room (where we were) on fire, and that’s when he gave up and just lit it up himself hahaha

Got nothing for your efforts: I’d gladly refer you to my big waste of a 6-year relationship.

Had a serious talk with someone: I always have deep conversations with Andi and they’ve been about various topics over the last few months.

Told someone how you really feel: It was when Bea scheduled a quick one-on-one catch-up call with me to check up on how I was doing with work and if I was doing okay with the everyday craziness of it all. But I didn’t say anything grave; I just told her I honestly like the work we do and that it’s nice that it keeps me excited everyday, so there’s little to complain about.

Hid what you felt from someone: One of my co-workers, Denise, is honestly a little challenging to work with. I always have to pick up after her and remind her of stuff we need to do together, and even Bea has let a few comments slide between us about how difficult she can be. But considering I’m a lot newer than her and we’ve never met each other I’ve stayed quiet for now.

Took something that didn't belong to you: I got the matchbox from my parents’ room to ask one of them to light up the aforementioned scented candle I have.

Borrowed something from someone: I borrowed one of my sister’s cords the other evening to charge my vape pen.

Lost a game: This was when my orgmates and I played a couple Jeopardy games over Zoom about a month ago and I lost to Robin.

Won a game: Not sure, I don’t really play a lot of games.

Told someone you love him/her: Jo, after she shared that she tested positive for Covid.

Went on vacation: It’s been a year and a half and the world has changed a lot since then, but my family and I went to Tagaytay and Cavite for a quick weekend getaway; it was Tagaytay on Saturday then we drove to another hotel in Cavite the next day. We played Heads Up, ate Jelly Belly jellybeans, had a lot of nice food, took some walks, but then I also had to work on a Powerpoint in between because I had a presentation that was due that Monday lol.

Went on a roadtrip: Last January we drove to Tagaytay (again) for my dad’s 50th birthday. Before heading to our accommodation we had brunch at La Creperie where we happened to be seated beside Larry Gadon – bleck – and his wife. Then we headed to the condo unit where we stayed the night at, ordered a samgyupsal set, and I watched GMM’s Let’s Talk About That into the night until I fell asleep.

Flew on a plane: That would be over two years ago and it was during our vacation to Bicol. That also marks the last time I ever spoke a word to my brother, because on our way home my family got into a heated argument and he ended up slapping me in the face. I don’t tolerate physical acts of violence, and especially not from someone younger than me, so I was more than glad to cut ties with him moving forward.

Were annoyed with a family member: My mom is politically incorrect 24/7, and it grinds my gears 24/7.

Took something too far: Idk, maybe cutting off ties with Gab. A part of me wanted to reconnect at some point, once I’ve healed; but I’ve reached a point in my life where that doesn’t seem so necessary anymore. Life just works funnily sometimes, I guess. I haven’t completely cut her off; we’re still mutuals on Twitter (though she also never uses it so it barely counts), and also still Facebook friends (though I’ve unfollowed her and I’ve also blacklisted her from seeing my posts – thank god for that feature), so now it’s really just a matter of pressing some buttons and finally disconnecting for good.

Gave up too soon: I wanted to learn riding a bike during the early days of the pandemic last year, but I gave up after like two days of being unsuccessful.

Listened to a band you had not heard before: I started exploring some of BTS’ music earlier this week after weeks of just knowing Dynamite.

Judged someone: Some of the bloggers that I regularly correspond with for work, and who’ve recently added me on Facebook, have opinions I don’t necessarily agree with.

Asked a "stupid question": I ask a lot of newbie questions at work that maybe some people would consider dumb, but I’d rather get answers to do my work correctly than take guesses and end up doing the wrong thing.

Got "a stupid answer": Not sure.

Took a picture of something/someone: I recently took a photo of my work desk setup so I could show off my new pretty lamp, hahaha.

Told a lie: I told my mom my Hydro Flask is still with Angela and that I should be getting it soon, but I really lost it a few years ago and would have to buy a new one.

Told the truth: Idk I tell the truth all the time.

[thebourbontruth]

Here are my 2021 favorite Whiskey options you can find for every budget. You can’t go wrong with these. They’re reliable, won’t ever let you down mixing or neat. Gifts or not. You should be able to get these in most of the US or acquired from other areas easily if not. They should also be on shelves at normal msrp or lower.

Barrell Bourbon/Whiskey

Many options and variations but I love the Bourbon Batches most. Expect $80-$100 for regular releases, more for extra special things. Keep an eye out for the private selections done by stores with great private barrel reputations. Stock up because it’s inevitable consumers will catch on that the brand keeps getting major awards and big ratings. I love the no BS transparent presentation too.

Makers Mark

A classic. Very nice Wheated Bourbon doing things right for more than 50 years. Put it in an empty Van Winkle 10 bottle, no one will know the difference. Great price with legendary consistency.

Woodford Reserve

So solid, so consistent and good. Super job blending this. It doesn’t get the credit it deserves amoung whiskey geeks. Gift or an everyday drinker, it’s every versatile. One of my top go to’s at bars without many whiskeys or for a nice value. If you’re a fan of fruity, sweet, caramel profile this is it.

Elijah Craig

A long time favorite. My everyday drinker that can easily fool most whiskey snobs at costing twice the typical $30ish price.

Angels Envy Bourbon

Great for gifting, newer Whiskey people that want a more approachable sweater profile. Created by Lincoln Henderson, one of the greatest whiskey minds we’ve had.

Basil Hayden 80 Proof

Best Bourbon for the new Bourbon fan. At 80 proof it’s very friendly and smooth. I personally prefer this regular original version over the new or older versions. Don’t add water, ice or dilute in cocktails. Makes a nice gift for the non snob or pouring an 80 proof blind to one.

Old Forester 1920

Not a Bourbon fan secret any longer. Very solid great high proofer for all uses. Has become a store shelf favorite to so many.

Wild Turkey Rare Breed Bourbon and Rye

The WT brand rarely gets anything wrong. You’ll never go wrong with these higher proof bargains that should cost 2x.

Wild Turkey Kentucky Spirit

Nice for gifting and a very nice 101 proof hiding in plain sight.

Wild Turkey Russels Reserve 10 Year Bourbon

An awesome 10 year Bourbon for $30-$40, who can’t love that!

Wild Turkey Russels Reserve Single Barrel Rye

Best Single Barrel Rye you’ll ever find sitting on most store shelves waiting for smart people to buy them.

Four Roses Small Batch

90 proof. 6-7 year great everyday for everything at $30-$35. It will hold up to just about anything blind.

Four Roses Small Batch Select-see above, just add non-chill filtering and 7% more abv. Limited Distribution States are expanding.

Lot 40 Rye

If you find an old 2012 bottling grab it. Even the current release is solid for $35-$40. A rare Canadian Rye that’s 100% rye. This one is often in the store’s Canadian Whisky section rather than with the Rye’s.

Wilderness Trail-all types

The more I learn about them and their plans, I get more giddy over what’s coming. They have a million+++ dollar lab testing to make sure everything is as close to perfect as possible —it shows. Shane, Pat and staff are fanatics to make the best. Tomorrow’s Van Winkle and Willett. Get it until you can’t. In about half the states but expanding.

Hillrock-all types

Small true craft place on a New York farm growing grain and making Bourbon, Rye and Single Malt. Quality and tasty. Makes very nice gifts especially for those seeking something different with a rich look. Around $100.

Willett Noah’s Mill

Defies logic. The world is going crazy for Willett, especially Willett Family Estate (WFE) bottlings. January 2021 Willitt’s 100% own house made Whiskey turns 9 years old. Noah’s is currently pulled from Willett’s own best 7-8 year old barrels- soon to be a year older (written 12/20). When WFE rarely drops at retail or the Visitor Center, they are $200-$300 and sell out in minutes, not hours. At near barrel proof of 114.3 and around $45-$55 a bottle, how is Noah’s Mill on the shelves at all? Like I said, “Defies logic” and should. One of the best, most accessible bottles you can find today. Near barrel proof is a bonus. Half the cost of the similarly age/proof Bookers. Noah’s is allocated and if the label simply said “WILLETT Noah’s Mill” stores would be charging $300 per bottle for it. It won’t take much for this to be the next one you wished you bunkered a few cases of while you could.

Charbay R5 Whiskey

This one is the most interesting and unique whiskey you’ll ever have. US Regs require them to call this “Hop Flavored” but there is no flavoring added. Double distilled from bottle ready Bear Republic’s Racer 5 IPA. There is no way to accurately describe it. People tend to love it or not. Read up on it but having or gifting it will show your depth and appreciation for different styles of Whiskey. If you’re a hop head get it. Well stocked stores are likely to have it in distribution states. Ask a manager if they have it as I’ve tended to see it in many sections other than whiskey. Charbay’s one of the oldest craft distilleries in the US. Doing Brandy since 1983 and hop whiskey since 1999.

Larceny

A nice Wheated Bourbon from the legacy of the Weller brand and Stitzel Weller distillery. Made by Heavanhill in Louisville at the distillery built to replace the aging Stitzel Weller plant. Larceny was rebranded from Old Fitzgerald, this $25-$30 Bourbon is a great bargain. If your searching for Wheated Bourbon, Weller, and your good with 92 Proof, 6-9 years old, this is it. Every bit as good or better than Weller. Note-They have a full proof version that is much less likely to be on the shelf at MSRP.

Buffalo Trace

Good solid everyday Bourbon with the same mashbill and recipe of it’s sister brands at higher proof like the Stagg’s people are nuts for right now. One of the few Buffalo Trace made Bourbons that you can find and is good in taste and price.

Buffalo Trace Bourbon Cream

Another weird one to be one of my favorite Whiskies. Many people don’t know it exists. It’s got loads of uses for desert, in coffee, baking and just something different to the Bourbon lover. A great nightcap to decompress or to have “one more” especially before driving. Cheaper and much better than Bailey’s, a nice substitute to stick to Bourbon but a variation. Great gateway to the non-bourbon drinker also.

Old Forester 100 proof

Tasty $20-$25 choice with a good proof kick. Very solid and hiding in plain sight. Here’s the thing— truly authentic Whiskey aficionados don’t judge each other on the expensive over the top cult booze that they have/drink. They judge on their depth, choice and guts to drink something great that’s not cool or pretentious like this one. Well known to good bartenders as their secret weapon for an inexpensive Bourbon.

Rittenhouse Rye 100 Proof Bottled in Bond-

Everything I just said about Old Forester 100 is true for this one but in a Rye. If it were ever discontinued, American Bartenders would start crying. You won’t find a better $20-25 rye or whiskey. Super versatile.

[kariachi]

Okay, so now I’ve gotta get to work finding shit out for trainers, because I’m apparently horribly self-destructive. The problem is here’s where I have to figure out the one big thing- just how much does it cost for the standard person to live in the pokemon world, and the corollary- how much does it cost a wandering trainer to live in the pokemon world?

(To read the first post on this topic, focusing on contests and coordinators, start here)

Okay, so, given Pokemon Centers appear to be free I think we can assume the pokemon world has free healthcare (I should hope we’d get free healthcare before free vet care) so we don’t have to worry about that.  There’s also free board at them, but I’ve been running with the assumption that it’s for people with trainers licenses (which are probably common, honestly, given kids can get them, they’re probably cheap to get but less so to renew) and the accommodations are probably pretty barebones. Still, you don’t really see people going around without homes, and with pokemon the costs of construction are probably lower. We still have the filthy rich, but they seem less filthy rich than we have to deal with (I don’t think we’ve seen a billionaire yet in pokemon, I could be wrong) so mayhaps this free healthcare is because the fuckers are actually getting taxed properly.

So, healthcare probably isn’t a thing and housing is probably cheaper (we see a lot of people in apartments, but maintaining the environment is a big deal in this world so it makes sense people would build up and have multi-family homes rather than spread out). Food bills are probably higher for most households, if just because most people have pokemon and those things gotta eat. like I can’t help but think a Houndoom probably eats more than a similarly-sized dog, ya know? Though there’s still the question of availability. One would expect food to be easy to come by, given all the benefits pokemon bring and how quickly things like berries grow, how much Miltank produce, but then we’ve got Jesse’s backstory... I don’t know.

Public transportation also seems to be free, at least for trainers, which re can probably tie back into the whole ‘they actually tax their rich’ thing.

So, I think for this I am going to base numbers off a family budget calculator I have bookmarked (you’d be amazed how often it comes in handy), looking at a single adult with no children living in a mid-range area to get my baseline, then removing things like transportation and healthcare from the costs while adding to the food bill to account for pokemon. We’ll assume the average for the pokemon is half the food expenses of the owners, because we want to feed our friends well and the variety of species means a wide range of needs (an Aron eating metal is not going to be fed as cheaply as an Arcanine with pokechow).

So, going by those numbers, our estimated cost of living for a single, childless adult is $20-25k a year in the pokemon world. Of course numbers will vary, but we’re not here to get so deep we’re gnawing seagrass so we’ll just take that as our baseline. Which means hey! Our second friend from the contests income post was doing better than expected! Still not enough to live off of alone, but definitely a good way to making a decent living.

Of course we still have to worry about the cost of living for a wandering trainer though. They’re going to have more pokemon who are more active, and be more active themselves, so we’ll just straight double the food budget from what just the trainer alone would need. Plus they’re going to need the extra supplies of pokeballs and potions and the like- first aid needs are going to be huge. But they don’t have household expenses, which should help them a fair bit.

I’m using thru-hike costs as a baseline here, since hiking seems to be the major method of travel for these things, so individuals unable to do long hikes for one reason or another are likely to have very different numbers. I won’t go into them here but think longer travel times, differences in gear needed (if you’re in a wheelchair and trying for the ‘authentic’ experience the gear needed is going to be much different and probably more expensive), or even simply more time spent in town while taking vehicular transport around the place. Though even still it’s annoying because does anybody have a good average cost dear fuck. Some people recommend $1,000 a month as a minimum, some $700, some as high as $2,000, and these of course are all including things our trainers don’t need and missing our additional pokemon feeding budget.

We also need to account for various factors that thru-hikers don’t generally deal with. For instance, in areas with things like snow trainers are likely to spend a good portion of the year in town, with free rooms and healthcare but higher expenses, while they wait for weather you can safely travel in.

$1,000 seems to be a good average, and we can easily slot things like extra trainer gear into the budget space normally reserved for hotel stays. We still need to add in the pokemon feeding budget, and account for things like extra time in town due to seasonal changes though. So we’ll bump that number up to, say, $1,700, which is high but allows for these things. This means that our estimated cost of living for a wandering trainer is about $20,400. So the low end of the cot of living we already put down, and it could go higher or lower depending on the needs of the individual (someone with only one pokemon who doesn’t have to worry about weather will be spending less than someone with health concerns who lives somewhere it snows six months out of the year) but it’s a solid average to have.

Now, though, we need to work out how much they can expect to make from their profession, and for that we’re going to have to figure out the most consistent source of income for a wandering trainer- gym battle winnings. They have an advantage over the coordinators here. They may have to sleep in tents a lot, but they also don’t have to pay an entrance fee to try to make money.

First up we need to find out how much one earns from beating a gym, monetarily. The games have a whole set-up, but ti’s very much set on the whole gaming scale and we’re working beyond that. Instead we’re going to average the prize money from a game and call that the standard. We’ll be using my favorite region, Johto, and my favorite games in the regions, Heart Gold and Soul Silver, because I’m biased and I can.

(1560 + 1800 + 2280 + 2760 + 3720 + 4200 + 4080 + 4920) / 8 = 3,165 which I think we can safely round up to $3,200 per gym.

Now, if we assume that one can hit eight gyms a year, 3200*8 = $25,600 in gym winnings a year. Which not only would cover their expenses but also give them some wiggle room. Heck, even if they can’t hit all eight in a year (though it should be doable, I can’t imagine most regions take more time to traverse than the US would and nine months to cross it on foot is more than doable) even just getting six gets them most of the way to their expenses covered, and this isn’t even counting prize money for battling other trainers, or selling items found along trails as we see trainers do in canon.

Heck, a person could probably make some nice coin just getting a team of pokemon with Pickup and selling what they find, especially since when you’re out hiking those items are less likely to be potions and antidotes and more likely to be berries, mushrooms, and nice rocks.

But fuck, while I’m here I probably ought to do something with that whole ‘prize money from battling other trainers’ things, shouldn’t I? It’s kind’ve a big part of the whole mess... We’ll do that, then move onto the League Championships and how much money I think is probably earned for that mess.

The problem with working the trainer prize money out is that in-game mechanics aren’t really any help here. So, we’re going to have to work shit out for ourselves and because I do have limits on how difficult I want to make things for myself- shocking, I know- I’m going to say that the number varies from battle to battle and trainer to trainer. Custom dictates a minimum amount of money you can give to a trainer who’s beaten you (the cost of a potion, about $5) but otherwise it’s figured out by the trainers themselves. Upon agreeing to battle the trainers will negotiate a prize, normally never more than $1,000 but sometimes you find an obnoxious rich guy you know you can take and, well. As a result income from battling other trainers can vary wildly, but one can make some decent pocket change that way. Just don’t pick on the little kids.

Now, onto the League. This one’s gonna get the same treatment as the contests

Pokemon League Championships (Entry Fee: $250 + 8 badges from within the region)

1st: $9,000 + League Cup + League Champion title

2nd: $5,000

3rd: $3,000

4th: $2,500

5th: $2,000

6th: $1,500

7th: $1,000

8th: $500

This may seem rather low if you’ve also looked at the numbers for contests, but entry is also... not easier but certainly something more likely to be obtained. It’s not fair, but little in life ever is, really. As it stands the league otherwise functions the same as the Grand Festival- each region’s requires a certain number of prizes already won to prove one’s place and this requirement must be repeated for each. If you enter a Grand Festival or Pokemon League Championship than the ribbons or badges you use to do so will be registered and cannot be used for the same purpose again. You’ll have to re-earn them to have another go.

Most wandering trainers don’t bother, only going through a region once or twice before moving on to the next. It’s the balance between the two professions. You may never make a living being a coordinator, but you can have a stable home if you so wish. A wandering trainer will be able to make a living off their work, but as the name implies to do so they have to stay on the move, always searching for that next challenge.

But, if that’s the life you want, is that really a bad thing?

[living-solo-tips]

Savings - Part Two

A list of ways to save money. You may already do or know of some of these, but hopefully you learn a new tip! Please let me know if you have any more tips!

- Go to your library to borrow books instead of buying them. Sell your books you don’t read anymore.

- If something is broken, research if it is cheaper to fix it rather than buy new.

- Don’t purchase unnecessary phone apps - seek free alternatives.

- Purchase reusable/washable make up remover pads. Better yet, you can make some yourself out of old clothing - they are just cotton squares of material that you pop in the washing machine once dirty. Good for the environment too!

- When you’re going out for the day take a drink and snacks with you. Take a lunch too if you’re able, and take lunch to work with you! You will save time as well as money. It will stop you buying expensive bottled drinks and pre-paid sandwiches.

- Make a ‘Gift List’ for yourself. If you think of something that you would like, but is not essential, put it on a list so that when your birthday comes round or it’s Christmas you can ask people for it. I tend to ask for perfume, alcohol, kitchen gadgets or vouchers for my favorite clothing stores. Maybe ask for a supermarket voucher. This also helps you to stop getting presents that you actually don’t like/won’t use.

- Ditch named brands. You don’t have to buy the leading brand in EVERYTHING. There are some things that I will only buy from ‘big brands’ such as coffee (Nescafe) and tomato ketchup (has to be Heinz). Other things like cream cheese, I buy the supermarkets own brand which is often around 45p, compared to Philadelphia which can retail for over £1. I also buy the stores’ own brand of herbs and spices in those jars. 

- Shop at discount stores for your groceries - Poundland, QD, Poundstretcher, B&M Bargains to name a few. Their grocery selection may be limited, but you can get some really good bargains especially on fizzy drinks and chocolate. They also do deals on canned and dry goods.

- If you fancy some new clothes/new shoes/a bag/jewelry, check out eBay, charity shops and car boot sales. Similarly, if you have a wardrobe clear out, sell on eBay - the stuff you bought on eBay you can probably get about the same money back when you go to sell it - so technically, your clothing was free?!

- Get a water meter. Might be a challenge if you are renting, but if you live alone, you might as well only pay for the water you actually use!

- Bulk buy on loose dry goods such as pasta and rice which I kind of covered in my previous post about grocery shopping. Buy the biggest bag of pasta you can find. Don’t buy those microwavable rice pouches (unless perhaps you are travelling?).

- Look at your mobile phone contract and usage in detail. If you are paying for X amount of data, are you actually using it? Can you get a cheaper plan? I’m on a monthly contract with Tesco Mobile and I currently pay £11 per month for 1000 minutes, 5000 texts and 2GB of data. When I go out, I don’t turn on my 3G unless I am actually using an app and only use free Wifi where possible.

- Walk where possible. To work, to town, to run errands, to meet friends, to the train station. Are you in a position to maybe even get rid of your car completely and perhaps buy a bicycle?

- If you go to the cinema, eat a big meal before going so you’re not tempted to buy the overpriced snacks. Or, go halves or thirds on a box of pop corn with your friends/family because IMO there is no better popcorn that the stuff they give you at the cinema!

- Smoking. Can you cut back? Or stop completely? It’s good for your health also!

- Check out Minimal Living - there’s tons of youtube videos about this.

Hopefully these have helped or got you thinking. At the end of the day, there are lots of ways to save money, but you shouldn’t deny yourself treats here and there. Cutting back on everything - favorite foods, alcohol, clothes etc - will make you miserable!

[arcticdementor]

A great many things seem quite wrong with the U.S. legal system, especially in criminal law. I’ve tried to work out comprehensive solutions, but I should also identify more modest changes, more likely to be adopted. And one big way our criminal law seems broken is our huge prison population, which is near a world and historical peak of residents per capita.

Many people say we define too many acts as crimes, that we make it too easy for authorities to prosecute people, and that we punish many crimes too severely. And while those seem like fine issues to explore, I see an even clearer case that jail is usually the wrong way to punish crime. Let me explain.

In principle jail can serve many functions, such as education, reform, isolation, and punishment. But prison is now more expensive than college; few see it as a cost effective way to learn. And few believe that US jails actually reform many convicts. Yes, convicts do tend to commit fewer crimes over time, but that’s mainly due to age, not reform efforts. Jail cuts residents off from their prior social connections, such as jobs and family, and connects them instead to other criminals. Which seems bad for reform.

Jail does isolate convicts, making it harder for them to commit many crimes. But we can isolate most convicts nearly as well and far more cheaply with curfews, travel limits, and ankle bracelets. Whole isolated towns might be set up for convicts. And if isolation were the main issue setting who we sent to jail and for how long, then for each person we put into jail we’d keep them there until we saw a substantial decline in our estimate of the harm they might do if released.

But in fact the median time served in state prison is 1.3 years, way too short a time to usually expect to see much change. And even if there is a substantial decline soon after a peak crime age, we don’t vary sentence lengths in this way with age.

Furthermore, exile offers a much cheaper way to isolate. Let convicts leave the nation for a specified period if any other nation will take them. Not every one would be taken, but each one who is taken represents a big savings. Worried about them sneaking back unseen? Just make severe punishments for that. Maybe even make them post a bond on it.

So if education, reform, and isolation are poor explanations of jail, that leaves punishment. Ancient societies used fines more often, which they often took from family members if the convict couldn’t pay, and they often enslaved convicts to make them pay. But as we aren’t willing to do these things, we can’t get much money out of most convicts, which is why we need other punishments.

…

But a big problem with using jail to punish is that our jails are terribly expensive, relative to feasible alternatives. For example, most of our jails are relatively “nice” and comfortable, with nice food, beds, climate control, entertainment, etc. At least compared to other jails in history. But typically X years in a nice jail gives the same expected punishment (i.e., anticipated dislike) as Y years in a mean jail, for Y < X. So if a mean jail costs no more per year than a nice jail, this is a cost savings.

Our history and the world today clearly demonstrate that it is possible to create jails that are less nice than ours. Furthermore, corporal punishment (often called “torture”) is even cheaper than mean jails. This was quite common in ancient societies, and is still used in some places today. For any sentence of X years in jail, there is some amount of corporal punishment, e.g., N lashings, that gives the same expected punishment at a far lower cost.

Some say that torture and mean jails are more “cruel” than nice jails, and thus immoral, and thus forbidden. But as you can see from the above definitions, when the amounts of these things are adjusted to produce the same amount of anticipated dislike for each, then some of them cannot be more “cruel” than others in the sense of the dislike convicts expect to experience. The only grounds then offered for saying that some are more “cruel” is that some might induce more inappropriate “delight from causing and witnessing suffering”.

Yet I can find no evidence suggesting that observers achieve more inappropriate delight from criminal punishments in the form of mean jails or corporal punishment. Yes, we can see many people taking delight today in the suffering of convicts in the jails that we now have. And those people would likely switch their design to focus on other forms of suffering, if those happened instead. But I see little reason to think that those who today do not delight in seeing convicts suffer from existing prisons would start to so delight after a switch to other punishments.

An interesting way to vividly show everyone that our jails today are in fact just as “cruel” ways to punish as these alternatives would be to give convicts a choice. A convict who is sentenced to X years in ordinary jail might be offered the choice to switch to Y years in mean jail, or to N lashings (or other corporal punishment). Or perhaps even to E years in exile. A simple standard mapping function between X and Y,N,E could be used, one that is adjusted continuously to get pre-determined fractions of convicts to choose each option.

…

Under this system, it seems harder to complain that it is more cruel to give convicts the option to choose something other than ordinary jail, relative to just forcing convicts into ordinary jail. And the fact that many convicts do choose other options should yell a big loud lesson to all: convicts suffer a lot in ordinary jail. They lose big chucks of their lives, including their careers, friends, and families. If you see a person suffering under torture, and you realize that this person chose torture over ordinary jail, that tells you just how much they hate and dislike ordinary jail. It tells you that you should not on empathy-for-them grounds feel good about yourself for instead forcing them into the option from which they ran.

…

But I see no reason now to think that we are now much more certain about dislike for ordinary jail, relative to mean jail, corporate punishment, or exile. When the judges who sentence convicts do know something about the option preferences about a particular convict, they might on that basis exclude some of those options for that particular convict. For example, exile might be a weaker punishment for someone who recently lived abroad.

…

So why do people see the other options are more cruel? My guess is the representativeness heuristic is at fault. People imagine a random moment from within the punishment, and neglect how many minutes there are in each punishment.