#(So when I say ''I won't buy more yarn for a year'' it means ''I won't buy yarn for a year after that'')

[moongothic]

‘Tis a yarn haul 🧶 

So yeah, my only local yarn shop is closing down, so today I went and bought an absurd amount of yarn from the remaining stock they had. It wasn’t a lot actually, like pretty much all the yarns I would normally get were completely sold out, and the color selection in the remaining yarns left a lot to be desired (but it is what it is)

Like you know my favorite color is black, and there really wasn’t a lot left of any black yarns. It kind of broke my heart a little because amongst the medium sized hanks, there was a fuck ton of that orange yarn, but just ONE hank of black. Like had there been more, I would’ve gotten just black and orange because then I could’ve made something with a Halloween-y color palette, but no, there was just one black 💔

But yeah, this is not a selection of yarns I would’ve ever gone for normally, but it was mostly what was left, and it was discounted, so I’ll just have to take it.

So I got that one sparkly cake of Katia yarn- I usually stay away from plastic blends (and plastic yarns in general) but this was the only one they had left that had a monochrome color scheme (the others were pretty gradients in misc colors), and like. Even if I didn’t buy it, it still wouldn’t make the plastic go away anymore, so I grabbed it. The yarn is super soft though and while I don’t like the sparkly bits in it that much, I’m sure I can make something cute with it

Then I got four lorger Malabrigo hanks, two white and two red. They’re 100% merino wool sock yarns and I’m sure I can think of something cute to make with them (in fact a while back I thought it could be cute to make something with like a peppermint swirl on it, not sure what but, well, I certainly have the yarn to make something now). ((These were the only remaining reds they had the shop, they also had one more white and a green but I left those because I figured someone else might like them))

And all the remaining hanks are silk/wool blend. They had a bunch of misc colors left (and a fuck ton of that orange), I ended up grabbing pretty much all the remaining greens and some whites to go along with them (since I don’t think those hues really go well together), and the last black with one orange to go with it.

So yeah. I normally would never do a yarn haul like this, I prefer to buy yarn when I know I have a specific project to use it with. But considdering the situation, I think this one yarn haul won’t be the end of the world. God fucking knows I am not buying any fucking yarn for the rest of the god damn year

[milkweedman]

hi, sorry if this is something you've answered before, but how did you get started with spinning? and do you have an reccs for beginners? i'm not a fiber arts person (yet) but i think the skills are mind-blowingly cool. i have a few friends that are into crochet also and while i don't do so i think it would be nice to be able to make them yarn etc :)! thank u <3

Hi ! I got started with spinning about 5 years ago now--I ordered a turkish spindle and some andean highland wool from knitpicks, tried it out, and really sucked.

Like. really sucked. couldn't even make bad yarn bc it just kept falling apart (due to undertwisting ! if your yarn is falling apart in your hands, it's undertwisted. there, i just saved you about a month of misery, if you're me lol). Put it away for a while, tried again, was still bad at it, rinse and repeat for about a year. eventually something clicked and i started being able to make more than like, an armspan of yarn before it became disastrous.

not saying it's that hard for everyone (i've watched some people pick it up in like... 5 minutes), or that it'll be that hard for you ! that's just how it went with me.

I do have some recs for beginners which will hopefully help ! (i didn't have this community on tumblr at the time, and didn't know there were forums on ravelry, so i had no community help or knowledge, which did not work in my favor).

Get a basic drop spindle with a hook on the end, if you can. Drop spindles come in many different forms, but the two main categories are top whorl and bottom whorl (meaning, where the circular whorl is placed on the shaft of the spindle). top whorl spindles spin faster but for a shorter period of time and can be more unbalanced. bottom whorl spindles spin slower but for longer, and are typically more balanced (physics, idk). everyone has their own preferences--i tend to recommend bottom whorl spindles to beginners because it kind of slows the process down, which can be helpful. if you've got a little extra money, buying a top whorl and a bottom whorl spindle could be a good idea. they're pretty cheap on etsy, esp if you get a very plain and simple one and just decorate it yourself.

spindle weight matters a lot. the heavier the spindle, the thicker the resulting singles will be. (singles are what you spin first, then you ply them together if desired). the lighter the spindle, the thinner the singles. this means if you get a very heavy spindle and try to spin something fine on it, it'll likely snap under the weight. and if you try to spin something thick on a light spindle, you'll be constantly flicking it and not adding very much twist (so it may just fall apart into sad fluff). my favorite all-purpose spindle for yarns that won't be particularly thin weighs about 2 ounces (55 grams). that will be too heavy for fine yarns, but works well for making like, worsted weight 2 ply. i would recommend a spindle somewhere in the 1-2 ounce range (30-55 grams) for a basic beginner spindle. once you get the hang of it feel free to go for the very light spindles or the heavier plying spindles.

don't buy roving for your first fiber. almost everyone does that, and many people end up with really low quality (and sometimes even compressed or partially felted) roving. roving can be great for spinning once you know what you're doing, but it's kind of... uniquely unsuited for beginners, in my opinion anyway. firstly because it is the most common preparation, it's not really treated with care by many companies when it comes to storage (hence the compression or felting). secondly, it's really easy to felt it in your hands when you're doing the beginner sweaty-hands-deathgrip-drafting-with-all-your-might thing (i'll get to that later). thirdly, again because it's the most common prep, there's a thriving market of garbage shitty roving, and it takes a little experience telling the difference between decent stuff and garbage stuff based on an internet page. I would highly recommend spending a little bit more money on a batt. this is like a large pillow of carded wool, which you pull strips off of to spin. they are sold in a far less-compressed state (which makes for easier spinning) and are, as far as im aware, made by humans with experience, rather than machines.

the breed matters a lot when it comes to spinning. some breeds have finer, more slippery wool, and some have grabby wool. grabby wool is better for learning (it means less of your yarn just slipping apart and breaking). some good beginner breeds are shetland, corriedale, jacob, romney, or other similar wools. the fiber market is inundated with merino (either a great thing or a source of misery, depending on who you ask), which is not a particularly good beginner breed (it's definitely on the slippery, finer side).

once you've got all your materials, it's spinning time ! find a youtube tutorial or a written tutorial (check your library for books on spinning. i have no recommendations--i did not learn from books). you could also check and see if there's a spinner's guild in your area. it depends on the guild (some are kind of, uh... snooty, for lack of a better word ? most seem pretty friendly and happy to help newcomers) but you might be able to show up to a meeting and get some help. ideally get some practice with the spindle first though.

lastly, some tips for spinning. A) keep the fiber supply held loosely in your hand, or better yet, draped over your hand so that the fiber you're drafting is only held in your fingertips. if you hold it tightly you won't be able to draft evenly. you may also compress and/or felt it by holding it, especially if your hands are sweaty. B) try spinning using the 'park and draft' method while you are learning. this is where you add a bunch of extra twist to the already-spun yarn (or leader, for the first length), pinch the twist to hold it in place, and draft fiber, allowing the twist to travel up the wool as you draft it. this is a good technique for learning because it isolates the actions of spinning, letting you focus on one part at a time. trying to keep the spindle going while drafting when you're brand new is not easy, and can lead to a lot of frustration and mistakes. once you've got the hang of drafting, then it's a great time to figure out how to do it all at once. C) work slowly and thoughtfully while you learn. what you're doing at first is twofold: you're figuring out the process and what works and what doesn't, but you're also building muscle memory, which is what spinners (really, pretty much everyone who practices hand crafts or hand work of any kind) rely on. i can get high af and zone out and spin and end up with a usable (sometimes even pretty good) yarn, because even when my brain isn't working, my hands know what to do. this is not the case for someone without the muscle memory. pay attention, step away if you get frustrated, and work slowly. as you build muscle memory, it will become easier and easier. D) your first yarns don't have to be good. they don't even really have to be yarn, as such--if you ended up with something thats rope at one end and thread at another, that's ok ! you're learning ! the purpose of your first yarns is just to teach you how to spin. if they look like shit, it's ok. (mine looked awful, for the record ! i don't think i've seen anything quite as bad as my very first yarn, actually. wish i'd kept it though xD)

hope this was helpful ! there's also this post about how to tell if your yarn is under or over twisted, which might be of use, and this post about finishing your yarn as well. and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask me or another spinner (the overwhelming majority of us are very happy to help a new spinner) for advice or help !

[steadfastmockingbird]

Quality over quantity.

I have a head full of thoughts, most of them angry in a pathetic, I-am-currently-anemic kind of way. Rambling suicide prevention talk below, about someone else's future actions, not mine.

My thoughts are angry because I will almost definitely lose a person close to me to suicide eventually. I've promised I won't try to stop him when the time comes - he has multiple agonizing and life limiting conditions, and getting decent care won't happen any time soon. You can blue sky all you want about fixing the system in the future and how one day it'll all be perfect, but that doesn't change the reality for people suffering right fucking now. They have breaking points. Anyway. When he chooses to go I won't be calling the cops to re-break his spine on the way to psych incarceration or crying down the phone that this is soooo unfair to me and how dare he make me suffer.

I'm angry because so many attempts at suicide prevention look like that. So much of it is a phone call to have the inconvenience dragged away or 'don't be so SELFISH and hurt the other people in your life by dying' when actually, if I forced him to stick around, I'd be the selfish one forcing him to endure that level of pain and what doctors often euphemistically call 'SLS' - 'shit life syndrome'. I refuse to make him suffer for something I'll get over. I'll survive the grief; in a few months 95% of the agony will be gone and the 30 or so years I have before lithium shreds my kidneys for good will be more or less okay. The gradual fuckening of his body has been happening for decades already. He's tired and done, and if he's forced to live another decade against his will it will be in constant fucking agony.

I'm angry because as someone who has made sincere attempts to kill myself, what stopped me was not the police at my door or well meaning empty gestures like 'talk to me any time!' from people who called the authorities when I went to them for help.

What stopped me was a package in the mail containing a band shirt, a book and some yarn. I had to finish the book, you see, and find a use for the yarn. What stopped me was getting care for a condition (dysphoria, wheee) I didn't even have the words to describe at the time. The most someone has ever, ever done was telling me the name of the demon at my heels. What stopped me was community; a dear friend saying to me what I say now to the person I'm likely to lose. What that friend said was 'I don't care how long you live. I want you to live well while you're here. Quality over quantity.' He gave me the cash to buy my first binder as he said that. It fell to rags a decade or so ago but I've never forgotten.

That's in my head every time I talk to the loved one I'll eventually lose. Focusing on the quality of his life has done more to prevent his death than a thousand lectures about selfishness or taking the coward's way out or how much other people will be hurt. Definitely more than any psych ward stays. When people have little comforts and things that bring them joy and can take care of themselves and feel valued and supported by those around them they're far less likely to end themselves than the person who hears an empty 'my door is always open' knowing that the door will be slammed shut, locked, and alarmed when they actually ask for help.

I sent him a mug with two handles a month or so back. Trawled Etsy for one that looked like an actual mug for grown ups, instead of a bigger version of a plastic toddler sippy cup. One of his conditions limits the strength and use in his arms and shoulders, but a cup of good coffee is one of his big joys in life. I want him to have that joy for as long as possible. In the past I've sent him a space heater, so that he can have more comfortable showers. Thick socks, so that the Massachusetts winter doesn't cause him as much pain. Gluten-free Jaffa cakes and English chocolate, because Hersheys is a crime even when you're not already suffering and gluten is his arch nemesis.

And I'm angry because it's not enough. I can't fix him. I feel powerless and frustrated because I will lose him eventually. It sounds cynical to say I've bought myself an extra few years with him by refusing to give up and trying to make sure he's at least comfortable, but that's how it feels. I spend time trawling the internet for two handled mugs because I am selfish, and I'm not willing to give up on him yet, but if I'm asking him to stay I should at least be minimizing his suffering.

If I fly out for his funeral, and there are people all around lamenting that they should have done more, but they didn't even take the time to make sure they had food he could safely eat when he visited... it won't be the fucking dead I'll be speaking ill of.

[nylaaaaa]

Little Secret

Chapter 1. Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Name and Surname: Natalie Fleur Estelle

Sex: Female

Date of Birth: 19th August 1692

Place ( Registration 

of      < District                     Cynthell

Birth  ( Sub-District

_________________________________________

"Here's the birth certificate. It has nothing about her parents on it as you suggested." I gave the man standing beside me, who had grown to be a brother to me, a quick, but satisfied, grunt of approval. 

"Thank you. Keep this between us and I'll keep up my end of the deal." Quintin gave me a questioning side glance. I knew he didn't appreciate me bringing up the past but I needed him to keep this between us.

"I don't see why you won't be honest to her. For all we know she might be like you..." I knew what he was suggesting, but I refused to listen. She won't be like me. She can't be like me. I waved him away, annoyance clear as day across my face. He will be annoyed too. We both have secrets. I just don't know whose is worth more.

_________________________________________

Today....

Today is possibly the worst day I'll have in my life. I'm honestly not sure. 

Today I officially turn 18 which, unluckily for me, means I have to add another thing to my job description.

Isaieth adopted me when I was born because my father died and it caused my mum to become a drunk. I don't exactly blame her for leaving and forgetting her troubles with a drink. But I also can't say I'm fond of it. I love Isaieth with all my heart, he feels like an actual father to me. But I sometimes wish I had an actual mother to help me grow as well.

When I was born my father died. No one told me how, I just know it was traumatic enough to make my mother a drunk. Isaieth adopted me when I was 2 after he had an accident that caused him to be deaf and partially blind. He wasn't fit for work anymore so the second I turned an age where I can go to the toilet by myself he taught me how to tend his farm. He makes a business by selling wheat that he grows and whatever we can get from the few animals we own. When I was 16 I found an abandoned lamb who we later discovered was a merino sheep. Merino sheep are, in my opinion, the best sheep you can get. Their carcasses are smaller than the average sheep so they aren't used for meat but rather for the wool that they grow. The average amount of wool the sheep grows is 11kg which is enough for about 11 sweaters. Aswell as the sheep we have 2 chickens, both of which are female. They were actually, in some ways, a gift from the king. The king and Isaieth are best friends almost from birth. They both grew up in royalty but only the king kept it that way. Isaieth was the son of a knight, and so in turn, Isaieth was also a knight. The king was born a prince and then was assigned a knight who happened to be Isaieth. One of the times when Isaieth was protecting the king he ended up getting seriously injured and the king fired him for his own safety. The king doesn't exactly care for the knight's wellbeing but because they were friends he decided a knight was too dangerous for Isaieth. After the event the king offered him a plot of land on the outskirts of the city that was run down and abandoned but had potential for a farm. Isaieth's dream as a boy was to grow old and have his own farm, so like any friend the king got him his own farm. Because of the friendship and countless times Isaieth saved his life our rent was greatly reduced and we were offered a permanent job to make sure we always had the money to pay rent. The job included selling off our produce from the animals. The eggs given to Isaieth was originally just starter food but Isaieth decided to keep them and let them hatch instead. When they grew to be quite old he kept a few of the last eggs they would hatch and did the same thing. The hens we have now are 1 years old, or will be in a few days. We don't get much from our farm but because of the discount on rent sometimes we have enough money to spare to get nice things. The average price of rent can go up to 100 gold.

(100 gold is like 1k, the money in this story is, bronze= pence or cents or whatever is the lowest in your country, silver= pounds or dollars etc and gold= the hundreds +. In simpler terms, but in GBP ((Great British Pounds)) terms, 1 bronze= 1 pence, 1 silver= 1 pound and 1 gold= 100 pound.)

Ours however got put down to 45 gold. It's still a lot that we just about make each month but we're still thankful that he even gave us this place to begin with. He didn't actually have to.

It's also lucky that our farm works well with rent times. Each month you have to go to the castle and pay your rent. If you dont have enough or you skip it they go to your house and either take a child, that becomes their servent who has to work for the money you didn't pay, or they take some belongings that you don't get back unless you pay extra. Luckily we've never seen it first hand but one of my childhood friends ended up becoming a servent from it. I haven't seen her since. Our wheat takes a month to grow so we've always got that to keep our money up. Unfortunately wheat sells cheap, one wheat grain sells for 30 bronze. Every month we grow, on average, 700 wheat grains but have to keep back 350 to replant so we can get 350 the next month too. So on average every month with wheat alone we make 10 gold and 5 silver. Which by itself is almost a quarter of our rent. Replanting and harvesting wheat is one of the most tedious jobs of farming, but maintaining is by far the easiest. You only have to water the plant at most once in summer but otherwise never. All you really have to do is make sure the plant isn't dying and be on your way. The worst job I have is turning the sheeps pelt into wool. She doesn't like to be milked so doing that is an annoyance but I dread making wool the most out of all the farm jobs I have. Next to maintaining the crop the hens are the easiest too. They lay at least one egg everyday, the only thing I have to do is collect the eggs without breaking them and make sure the hens are well fed and have fresh air. With making wool you have to flatten the pelt completely and then tie the strands together to make a really long piece of wool that I have to cut and ball up. It's the worst job on the entire farm but I can't say I hate doing it. My favourite thing is balling it all up after dying it. I'm just thankful all these things take a month to do or we'd be screwed on rent every month.

(Realistically these don't actually take a month, I researched so much to make the story as legit as possible but for story sake I tweaked the timing. Hens do lay one egg a day at least, if properly cared for and also depending on breed. But wheat takes a LOT longer to grow and you can only shave a sheep once a year. I changed the timing of it all tho or I'd have to be even more creative with money and stuff and tbh I'd rather not. Coming up with these ideas for the farm was hard enough.)

On average you get 2 balls of yarn out of 1kg of wool. Luckily for us our merino sheep produces 11kg of wool giving us 22 balls of yarn. 1 ball of yarn sells for 1 gold, so for 22 balls of yarn we make 22 gold. Personally I think it's extremely expensive but it does make sense considering there aren't many sheep around, which also means clothes, blankets and shoes are harder to get. On average with the hens we get 2 eggs a day. 1 egg sells for 25 silver, meaning the 2 we make in a day gives us 50 silver. There's 28 days in a month meaning with eggs alone we make 14 gold. Altogether in one month we usually make roughly 46 gold. As good of an amount as that is, 45 of it has to go to the king, leaving us with roughly 1 gold left. Because we're human and need to eat, bathe and clothe ourselves just like everyone else, whatever's left gets spent on stuff like that. On average every month we spend about 50 silver on food. I have my own plant pots in my room that we use for our own food. There's only 2 of them but in one plant pot I grow strawberries and in the other I grow raspberries. Truth be told if I sold the strawberries and raspberries we'd probably be richer but honestly, we're both kinda used to this life and although we don't have everything we want, we have everything we need. Besides the fruits take 2 months to grow and because of my reputation people would refuse to buy them for their actual price. They just about accept the other things, if fruits were in the mix I'd probably get death glares and 1 bronze for a batch. It doesn't bother me too much though because with whatever odd bit of wheat we had spare from the 700 odd we plant and sell we use that to make bread or pastry, so every 2 months we make the fruits into a jam or crush them and make a pie. My all time favourite activity is making them into pies or bread and jam with Isaieth. It's the only thing we can properly do together. He helps me replant and harvest the wheat sometimes because there's so much of it but usually he just watches from afar. His eye sight is getting worse the older he gets so he helps less and less. It saddens me because I know he doesn't want to go fully blind, we wouldn't be able to communicate at all and what kind of life are you living if you can't see or hear anything. You might as well be dead at that point or you'd be so throughly confused. 

Getting back on track. Today is a bad day because it's the first day where I have to pay for the rent. I've been a few times with Isaieth as a child but I've never gone alone. It's an adults job and should only be done by an adult. But today, aswell as being my birthday, it's also rent day. Isaieth didn't actually want me to do it but I insisted knowing that he would have severe trouble doing it himself. And what's more is that I have to go alone to sell our produce now aswell. I don't put any blame on him and I especially will never complain. But in my head I can feel bitter about the situation. 

I look forward to the day.....

...

No I don't.