steadfastmockingbird

[steadfastmockingbird]

A patron came in to the library a few weeks ago looking for a copy of "The Tale of Peter Rabbit". She said she wanted to replicate Peter's coat for her daughter's rabbit. Library staff found her the book thinking she meant a stuffed rabbit. But, lo and behold, it was a real rabbit! Introducing... Melvin Rabbit!

[steadfastmockingbird]

Successful day out at Bristol Pride, minus some ridiculousness with ALL the trains through Warminster being cancelled on our way home. I hugged a lot of people. Once again it was mostly kids. People young enough to be my biological children. Last year I naively assumed it would be people my age and up needing comfort; folks with more conservative upbringings, more old-fashioned parents.

I told each and every one of them that I was glad to see them, that they're worthy of love, and to drink plenty of water, wear sunscreen, and stay in the shade. I think they needed to hear it. I promised several of them that it gets better, and told at least two that they didn't deserve to suffer.

I was far from the only person doing this. It's encouraging that more people are recognizing the need. Infuriating and enraging that there's a need at all.

Love your kids, including the queer ones. Be prepared to grow and change and encounter unknowns, because that's part of being a fucking parent.

[steadfastmockingbird]

I don’t think I have an Attention Deficit. I think I have an Attention Surplus. Attention is pointing Everywhere and frankly whatever you wrote in your email is not as captivating as That Radom Noise I’m Hearing

[steadfastmockingbird]

I had a major eating disorder. At my worst I was living on next to nothing and in constant pain, miserable, forever anxious that I might eat an unclean food and contaminate myself.

My weight now is double what it was then. Gaining for me has been a huge sign of recovery. And yet, people will tell me to my face that according to them I looked better when every day was spent in a debilitating panic attack and all my joints hurt and I had constant headaches and couldn't think.

I'm healthy now, mentally and physically. Convincing other people of that is fruitless.

[steadfastmockingbird]

[steadfastmockingbird]

Okay, autistic crocheters I need help.

I'm trying to learn to crochet. I know how to do a very basic single chain stitch. nothing more. I'm trying to learn how to do a Magic Circle cause I want to make Granny Squares.

The problem is i'm dyspraxic, I also have essential tremor. Basically clumsy hands that don't like cooperating.

Any tips or maybe good tutorials on how to accomplish this feat?

I'm quite determined to figure this out but i'm not above asking for help.

Non autistic neurodivergent and disabled crocheters please weigh in as well. I can use all the help I can get.

[steadfastmockingbird]

tbh i think people who obsessively hunt paedophiles online are only like. two steps below actual paedophiles in terms of being a nonce. like. why are you spending all your time online pretending to be a child to ~catch a predator~

why aren't you calling out sexual violence in your community?

why aren't you calling for more sex education in schools, and most importantly, educating children about bodily autonomy and how their bodies are their own and what the correct names are for their body parts, and how to reach out to a safe and trusted adult if they feel victimised?

why aren't you calling out corporal punishment or child neglect in the home? why aren't you talking about how huge class sizes and underfunded education & social services lead to even fewer resources for vulnerable children to call on, bc staff don't have the time to notice issues, or help w them?

why not talk about how, for example, disability, race, class, or perceived future sexual orientation add to biases by teaching staff or guardians against their children, and contribute to corrective or retributive abuse? why not talk about the vulnerability of children in the foster system?

if you care about children, why aren't you focusing on the way that MOST children are sexually abused - not by random paedos online - but by their parents, their teachers, their doctors, their dentists, their pastors? why instead are you roleplaying getting nonced and calling it a public service?

[steadfastmockingbird]

I'm 5'3. I'm taller than everyone in my family including my father. It's a bit weird being called 'Tall One' by my siblings when I still need to get a step stool and stand on my tippy toes to reach the top of the fridge.

Are you the shortest in your family?

[steadfastmockingbird]

Started a new project today, called Wrath of the King. The fundies in space novel was fun, but I don't think I can write a pregnant character and religious fanatic embryo rescue until I'm back to normal about pregnancy and birth.

Should be a fun new project though. Vaguely medieval-ish setting designed more for parallels with today's world than historical accuracy. A bad king, (little man who wants power, surrounded by equally power hungry advisors) takes a 'wifelet' every summer to add to his collection of women. More women means more sons. In the background there are diseases rampaging through the peasants and foreign wars driving refugees into the provinces and persecution of the queer folk and rebel groups and and and. Anyway. The main character's sister gets selected by the holy leaders of their city as an unmarried woman of good standing eligible to marry the king. Problem is she's five months pregnant and hasn't told anyone. To save her sister from being executed when the king finds out, the main character swaps with her sister thinking that because she's queer and a bit tougher she'll be able to marry and kill the king and get out unscathed. The scheme works initially because they're only a year or so apart and more or less the same build and mannerism and they're whisked off to the Holy City fairly quickly before their parents or other siblings figure it out.

Spoiler alert: She doesn't get out unscathed. She DOES get to run off with one of the other wives at the end though.

Tell me if it sounds shitty but I have a good feeling. The idea hit me at roughly 1pm, I started writing at 4pm when I got home, and by 7:30ish pm I'd written 3k words. Doesn't happen often.

[steadfastmockingbird]

I got a troll comment on my post about high rates of domestic abuse among disabled people of all genders, so instead of wasting energy responding I’m going to share more information about what domestic abuse can look like for disabled people, because I had absolutely no idea that some of these things were common forms of abuse until recently, and it would have helped me out a lot if I’d known it sooner.

ID: an information sheet by SAFE titled “people with disabilities in partner relationships”. It is set out in a wheel with 8 headings.

Coercion and Threats: Threatens to leave or to take children. Says will kill partner, children, pets or service animals. Threatens to have partner arrested or institutionalized. Forces use of alcohol or drugs on addicted partner. Makes partner steal or buy drugs

Withhold Support or Treatment: Steals or throws away medication. Doesn’t provide medicine or support when needed. Doesn’t allow needed medical treatment. To increase dependence, breaks or does not let partner use assistive devices (phone, wheelchair, cane, walker, etc.)

Privilege (Ableism): Overprotects. Makes decisions alone. Creates physical barriers to getting around (moves furniture, leaves cluttter). Keeps tabs on partner for “safety” reasons because of disability. Takes over tasks to make partner more dependent

Emotional Abuse: Insults and shames about disability. Gives conflicting messages by both helping and hurting. Sneaks up to startle. Abuses more as partner becomes independent. Drives dangerously to scare. Disrespects boundaries. Talks down to partner. Torments by not letting partner sleep

Economic Abuse: Controls all money. Uses partner’s disability income for self. Does not share expenses because being partner to person with a disability is a “favor”. Does not allow partner to work and be economically independent

Isolation: Pressures to give up disability services. Confines and restrains to restrict access to others. Exposes disability (AIDS,mental illness, etc.) to others to isolate. Limits contact with others. Threatens friends. Says no one else cares.

Sexual Abuse: Forces sex when partner unable to physically resist. Humiliates sexually because of disability. Makes decisions about birth control/pregnancy. Cheats and lies (does not think partner will know because of disability). Pressures partner into prostitution.

Minimize,Deny and Blame: Lies about abuse to others (says partner is crazy, fell out of wheelchair, is forgetful, just didn’t take medications). Blames disability for abuse. Twists reality, says abuse did not happen

[steadfastmockingbird]

it's genuinely bullshit that you should be required to own a mobile phone for participation in literally any aspect of life

[steadfastmockingbird]

Lately I've been swinging between homicidal foaming rage and eating my feelings, which when your feelings are 'murder everything' that's a lot. My eating disorder is popping up again, that's exciting.

Miscarriage is fucking lonely. I made it to eight and a half weeks and then my body said nope on Saturday. We hadn't picked out a name or decorated a nursery, but we had seen a heartbeat on the ultrasound and that gave us way too much false hope.

It's okay. We'll try again in October. It's only another two thousand fucking pounds, three or four appointments, and eight hours of driving per appointment. We can raise that. I don't need to be jealous of all the people who just have their kids by accident, because fatphobic medical systems and queerphobia mean we have to leap through hoops to get fertility help and both be legal parents of our kid. Why don't the rest of you just go fuck some more, fucking assholes.

Ignore me, I'm hurting and it makes me mean.

[steadfastmockingbird]

i can't be the only one who's just straight-up ... bored with women hating themselves. my mom keeps lamenting to me how upset she is about her gray hair. my friend stares at her laugh lines every day in agony. my sister loses sleep over the horrible unbearable thought of looking fat. and every time these women i love open up to me, i can't help but think ... then stop staring at yourself? stop drowning yourself, narcissus, and just fucking live your life instead of sitting in front of a mirror obeying cosmetic corporations' lies. just stop it. this is getting ridiculous. you're too smart to be falling for this bullshit. "oh no but these men who hate women told me that if i'm ugly i'm worthless!" girl if you actually believe that then good luck. but i am getting worse at being supportive of people whose nonsense worldviews keep them trapped in pain. stop looking at yourself start fucking living i am pleading you deserve to be happy and it is stupid that you disagree

[steadfastmockingbird]

Miscarriage is fucking brutal.

[steadfastmockingbird]

I am so proud of the Hungarian ppl right now.

It was the 30th Pride.

It was banned.

200.000 people were there.

Thank you for this boost today. Thank you for showing up and standing up for our right!

Photo cr.: Telex.hu

[steadfastmockingbird]

next dynamic were sexualizing is that of a bull and a toreador